Cheap relatives? Who's got the funniest stories?

According to my Dad, my late uncle would allow the family's one toilet to be flushed only once per week. Unless there were houseguests. Dad lived with them after leaving the Army; he built his own house and moved out as quickly as he could.

A husband & wife, five kids, one toilet, one weekly flush. One of my cousins once said it wasn't THAT bad; the toilet could be flushed if someone left behind "solids."

And that uncle thought my Dad was a fool for sending my sister and me to (paid) piano lessons.

Yes, he left a small fortune behind, but, literally, who gives a shit about that? Though I suppose *I* would want the payoff if I'd had to grow up in that house.

My aunt buys two ply toilet paper and separates the layers so the paper lasts twice as long. My uncle (same side of the family) bought some sticky paper to trap mice that were getting in his house. He was cheap, so he cut the feet off the mice that were trapped on the paper, and reused the sticky paper with the dead mice feet.

If anyone remembers when the first Central Market in Austin had rolls freely available to grab when you bought a meal there, my mom was the reason they stopped that practice. She spent her formative years in Europe during WWII food rationing, so she always seizes the opportunity to get free food. She would grab a bunch of those rolls and stuff them in her purse, embarrassing all of us. One particular time we went, she made several trips back and forth from our table to the rolls. After that, the party was over....

[quote] He was cheap, so he cut the feet off the mice that were trapped on the paper, and reused the sticky paper with the dead mice feet.

I hope to god this is just you using your imagination.

My bf's grandmother has a tiny clothesline (from a doll set) strung over her kitchen faucet. She clips used tea bags there to dry. Reuses them several times. She also keeps zip lock baggies in her purse. When we take her to dinner, she fills them with sugar and sweetener packets, lemon wedges, creamers. She also asks for doggie bags, but cajoles the waiter to "put a little extra in, please". She makes out like a bandit because she is such a sweet little old lady.

God, I love these stories. They make my parents sound like spendthrifts. They grew up during the depression and the Civil War in Spain and they were thrifty. I had very few toys, we'd get day old newspapers from our landlord, writing "paper" was the cartons that hosiery came wrapped around, the car went longer than it should between oil checks and the brakes squealed longer than they should have.

It would be fascinating to interview people who are to such extremes as those already described. Not necessarily only to learn about their cheap behavior and its origins, but also to probe and see how they function in other areas of their lives, at work, in friendships, dealings with neighbors, etc.

Not my relative but a woman I worked with. Her name was Jolene and she would wash Styrofoam cups. She was an old woman, so that meant that every single cup had dozens of lipstick stains on the rim. People quickly learned not to ask for a drink at her house because they would be served in one of these cups. She would always say, "It's okay because I washed it". LOL

Extreme thrift is different than cheapness. Sometimes it is borne of poverty in childhood, or family training.

I think that cheapness goes across the board. Misers with affection, time, attention, etc. I have difficulty becoming friends with people who are cheapskates. Generosity indicates an expansiveness of spirit which I adore.

I used to work with a woman who always wanted to host holiday parties at her house (this was for a group of adult ed teachers at a community college). When I was new, I couldn't imagine why she'd want to do this. It's a hassle to host such a large group of people. I was told to wait and see. I waited and saw.

Teddy didn't want to spend money to bring food to share so she go around this by hosting them. Well, she didn't like spending money on hosting materials either. She used her own plates. Fine, but imagine putting your food on a small saucer because all of the larger plates have already been used. The cups were clear plastic cups that had been used so many times that they were starting to become opaque from scrubbing. Well, she didn't scrub enough because the outside was filmy in one's grip. At least the napkins weren't used.

*get around this

My brother thinks I'm cheap because I reuse dental floss several times.

I disagree, I'm just thrifty.

Now he's the SPENDTHRIFT in our family.

Has $700/mo power bills because they leave everything on 24/7/365 and a pool.

They sleep under blankets year 'round. Their air conditioners (they have three central units) run flat out 200 days out of the year.

Floriduh, of course.

Live! Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!

R11, I keep my air on a good part of the year too. Where I live, it's not uncommon for it to still be in the 90s at the end of October, and in the 80s in November. However, I turn the air off at night, usually. Except in the Summertime when it's still like 95 degrees at 11pm.

Florida is fucking hot.

[quote]My brother thinks I'm cheap because I reuse dental floss several times. I disagree, I'm just thrifty.

Unless your gums are perfect, you can spread disease in your own mouth. You are disgustingly cheap.

"My brother thinks I'm cheap because I reuse dental floss several times."

Doing something gross to save about $0.10 a month does qualify as "cheap". Sensible frugality or thriftiness means your efforts result in enough money saved to make it worth the trouble.

Like minimizing heating or air conditioner use, I agree with you there. I just leave my windows open about 75% of the year, and I don't live in a particularly good climate.

I have a friend whose prime directive is to not spend one more minute at home alone than he absolutely has to. Once he meets that need, he's also the cheapest person I've ever known. He gets coffee only in places where he can get a free refill. He takes the refill home and microwaves it in the morning, and that is his morning coffee.

When he went to AA, he would bring home a full sippy cup of AA coffee for the next morning. No coffee in the world tastes as bad as AA coffee, but my friend would sip that swill anyhow. Nothing tastes as good as cheap feels to him.

Did he actually need to go to AA? He sounds like someone to cheap to have developed a drinking problem. And if he really needed AA, I shudder to think what he drank!

I don't know if he needed AA, R17, but he went. He doesn't go anymore. And I met him in AA, so I don't know what he drank.

My partner sends his sister, niece and 2 nephews a nice check for Christmas each year. Two years ago, his sister sent him a half a bar of home made soap. She broke it in half. The next year she sent him a half a piece of candy, but wrapped in the whole wrapper.

Last year my partner sent them each a $25 Visa gift card. His sister actually got the youngest child to call and ask, "don't you love us anymore, uncle Dan?" He was so angry, he didn't speak to any of them for a couple of months. One good thing to come out of it, she now sends my partner cards, which he appreciates.

When my father died my mom saved $800 by not having him embalmed. In order to view him on the day of the burial (5 days after his death), we were required to sign a statement holding the funeral home harmless for any psychological impact we may have suffered due to the condition of his body. Since my bother-in-law was drunk, we sent him in first to report back to us on how pops looked. He gave a favorable report, so we signed the form, and paid our last respects.

I've been in therapy ever since. Never ask a drunk to judge the condition of a dead relative's body.

My great aunt was actually rather generous usually (she was well off, no kids, my own grandmothers lived far away, so she was more like a grandparent figure), but once on my birthday she handed me $50, two twenties and a ten, saying right away, "I gave you some money recently, didn't I?" and took the ten back out of my hand!

My mother's father was said to have bragged about saving his wife's used panty hose to tie together for tow rope!

Granny wouldn't flush her toilet because she didn't want to waste the water

I had an aunt who collected the plastic cutlery at fast food places, took it home and washed it, and this was then used at family picnics. Doesn't sound so bad, really, right? Wrong. It was cutlery from other tables and she didn't always wash it. We weren't allowed to eat anything or use anything Auntie Rina had brought.

They weren't badly off either - my uncle had a good job with a company car and telephone bill paid, Rina worked too and they only had one son. She used to buy big bottles of cheap toiletries, bubble bath and scent and whatever, decant them into travel sized freebies she'd take from hotels and pass them off as presents, wrapped in the re-used wrapping paper she'd received gifts in. My uncle (my mom's brother) got embarrassed but couldn't stop her. I think it was a mental health issue rather than cheapness though. She'd had a terrible childhood and never seemed to feel secure.

My father: "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down."

My mother once visited my bachelor uncle for lunch. He took a paper napkin and tore it in half. My mother complained that he didn't tear it along the fold, so she just got 2 pieces of paper napkin. She knew he bought the package of napkins on double coupon special, and she wanted a new one. Uncle retorted that she was an adult, and didn't need the full size.

I refuse to pay $18 to post on Datalounge.

R20, what did the body look like?

My friend's father taught himself how to walk differently so that his shoes didn't wear out as quickly.

My aunt has been in the same home since the sixties and there's still nothing on the walls. My partner and I stayed in what we thought was a spare bedroom because it was pretty barren and it turned out that they gave us their room for the night.

My family is the poster family for cheap. They would never buy anything new, would fix things till they were like a Rube Goldberg device. They did pay cash for everything, even their house and slightly used cars. This made me frugal but not insane like they were. Yes they left a large estate and no I haven't spent any of my share. I have no one to leave it to but I am sure the government will pry it from my cold dead hands.

R29,

5 Days out the body would be gray-colored, puffy and swollen from gas. There may be slight skin slippage at that point as well.

My dad had this thing about stealing odd stuff from the steel mill he worked at. He would regularly bring home a case of toilet paper he pilfered from the supply room. This was the meanest, toughest, roughest cheap shit asswipe on the planet.It had chunks of wood in it.

When I went to college, the dorm TP was a blissful revelation.

My dad's sister was well-off but very cheap. She gave my mother a single salt shaker (the glass kind with the white plastic one-hole top that you find in cheap fish&chip shops) for a wedding present. Socks for Christmas presents. We used to visit every Christmas and there would be dozens of boxes of luxury chocolates, etc. under the tree, but the only food offered would be a single tin of broken Co-Op biscuits.

My father tells a story about paying a visit to his aunt when he was a kid and his mother discovering a cold cup of tea in the kitchen. The aunt let her own tea go cold rather than drink it and have to offer everyone else one!

My mother is famous for regifting. And she's so blatant about it - she'll give you something you gave her 2 months before at Christmas. If you try to catch her at it, she says, "Oh, I loved the one you gave me so much, I got one for YOU!"

My partner thinks this is hilarious and has started regifting her regifts. So far they've exchanged the same set of blue bath towels about 4 times. (Now I give her gift cards - for some reason she never regifts those. She probably sells them on Ebay.)

My partner's aunt from Queens never bought condiments. She'd instead grab ketchup, mustard and sugar packets by the handful from fast food restaurants and serve them to guests at family gatherings. She'd make pizza, but only her husband and his brother (my partner's dad) would get pieces with any cheese or toppings on them.

Other issues were at play, though, she'd steal cologne and children's toys when visiting relatives ("I don't know how that got in my bag!") and was caught shoplifting a bag of onions at the local market.

Mice feet and unembalmed dad are my favorites so far.

My brother in law had a great aunt who would use only one square of toilet paper at a time, sticking her index finger through it, cleaning her self with the finger which she then drew through the paper to wipe it off. I don't know which is worse, actually doing that or telling anyone that you did.

Another brother in law operated a service station and used to bring home some of the cheap toilet paper that he bought in bulk. My nephew complained about it once so my mom bought him a large package of good TP for Christmas. He was delighted and refused to share with the rest of his family!

R32's post made me laugh hard.

Thank you.

Back in the early 90's when I was 11 or 12 years old my late Grandmother (Granny) & Grandfather took me to a Ponderosa Steakhouse after church one Sunday. Our server, a bright & witty queen was extremely attentive, polite, patient, funny & provided us with excellent service. At the end of the meal when my grandmother (who always handled the money) was presented with the bill, she wrote him a check & then said "I've got your tip." She then pulled out her coin purse & proceeded to count out an array of (mostly) pennies, nickels & dimes on the table! Our humiliated server waited throughout this display of tomfoolery while biting his tongue, forcing an awkward smile & becoming as red as a beet. I'd be surprised if he even received a whole dollar!

To this day I'm haunted by this & the memory STILL makes me cringe! I've since went on to become a notorious OVER-TIPPER, even when I've received horrible service.

I love your stories. Keep 'em comin'!

my uncle and aunt were the same way,R28 ! They had minimal furnishings,not even school pictures (they never bought them) and half the house was dark because they never bought light bulbs ! Every year theyd buy my 3 cousins 2 pair of pants,3 shirts,and a pair of shoes for school,and that was it for the year. They drove used cars,never took vacations,christmas for my cousins was GRIM,yet they both worked and had okay jobs. My cousins never saw a dentist or a doctor,but when my aunt,then uncle died there was no money to be found ! My cousins still have no idea what they did with it !

[all posts by tedious, racist idiot removed.]

[quote] My friend's father taught himself how to walk differently so that his shoes didn't wear out as quickly.

This made me laugh.

How does one learn to walk so their shoes don't wear out?

My dad was rich, but my parents grew up in the Depression, so they had a few lifelong money quirks. It saddened me that my mother died on K-Mart poly-cotton sheets and had a whole closet full of Payless shoes. I now use the money they left me to buy Pratesi sheets and expensive shoes.

The mice feet takes the prize here.

My dad took the spare tyre out of his car because it's too heavy and wastes petrol.

Something similar happened with a friend R39, a childhood of home being more of a basic shelter and nothing more although both parents worked at well paid jobs. When they died there was no money left and no-one could understand how you could be so frugal and have nothing to show for it. Turned out daddy had a gambling problem. The mom had tried to provide what she could on what money she managed to get her hands on before dad took it all to his bookie.

My father was so fucking cheap I never ate a meal, not even a sandwich or a hot dog, that my slave of a mother didn't prepare till I went to college. He refused to even take her out once a year on their anniversary. Every year we'd go on these long ass road trips. He was a college professor and could afford to take the summer off. We once traveled for a month from Boston to CA and stops in between without stopping to eat out even once. It was bologna and white bread picked up at grocery stores (we brought mustard from home) packed in a stinky cooler all the way, every day, breakfast, lunch and dinner. At home all we had to drink was Kool-Ade made with half the sugar. No juice, no milk. And this was a guy with two PHDs, a department head at a big eastern university who made a pretty decent living between his salary and royalties from books he wrote. Plus what he inherited from his family and my mother's.

The worst, for me, was when I was 12 and started getting my period. If I wanted money for Kotex I had to submit a "requisition" for his approval. It was always in question whether he was going to spare the few bucks so I didn't have to use rags and wash them out "like your grandmother did." Cheap. Fucking. Bastard.

r45 this never happened

My grandma used to give us Ramen Noodles for Christmas, wrapped in the Sunday comics.

Aunt who married very well and I always heard stories of their stinginess... found an old picture she sent my grandmother and on the back was written "this cost fifty cents!"

step uncle of a friend famously kept an ongoing pot of perpetual soup on the oven ALL WINTER. The pot was never emptied just added to absolutely everything was added that was still "good"

shrimp tails, potato skins, leftovers from plates etc.

It was truly primordial ooze - I was warned to decline if offered some "soup" - I peeked in the pot and it was WRONG.

RIP the pot has been turned off.

I can't stand these cheap bastards. Why would you keep visiting?

Those fuckers are the ones who are always sitting on a mountain of money.

I was a barista for a while in the well to do section of my town and there used to be a couple that'd come in and get "samples" of the coffee. We'd serve those in the paper espresso size cups. They came in several times a day, it wasn't that big a deal. I'd see them at the Whole Foods sometimes hitting up for samples.

I found out from a coworker that he was a doctor and she was a retired teacher or something. You know they're sitting on a stack of cash.

My great aunt Gertrude would take a bath and not drain the water. She would use the bath water to fill the tank of the toilet. And get this she lived in Duluth, MN right next to Lake Superior.

[quote]My father: "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down."

My mom raised us that way and I thought everyone did it until the first time I spent the night at my friend Glenn's house. I didn't flush and his mom yelled at me.

[quote]My brother in law had a great aunt who would use only one square of toilet paper at a time, sticking her index finger through it, cleaning her self with the finger which she then drew through the paper to wipe it off. I don't know which is worse, actually doing that or telling anyone that you did.

My mom's a Depression baby and she said her dad would only give her two squares of toilet paper when her or her sisters had to go.

The saddest example of cheapness, or frugality, was in a coworker's family. He was in his 20s, finishing working his way through college while working as a full time geriatric caseworker. He was a sweet guy, but there was something sort of tamped down and wistful about him, more like a middle aged person who's sort of been shot down from having dreams about what's possible in life. He was from a big, frugal working class family (there were 6 or 8 kids.) His mother had died when the kids were all very young and his dad remarried a woman who wasn't much older than the oldest kids. I knew that his stepmom was frugal and nice, but also described as not really good at connecting with her step kids.

I was the guy's supervisor, and it was customary in our office to have a birthday cake for each person, organized by the person's supervisory group. When it was that guy's birthday he came to me after our cake celebration to thank me. He was really touched by the fuss we made, especially liking the card we'd chosen and all signed. He confessed he'd never had his own birthday card. His stepmom had one birthday card she'd reuse every year - one old beat up recycled card for all the kids' birthdays. How sad not to make each kid feel special by giving them a birthday card of their own at least. Of course, gifts or a cake were way out of the question.

A side note to his story; the guy's saving grace, the one way his spark of life shine through was in his gayness. He was closeted at work and in his family, and planning eventually to enter the priesthood or a religious order, when I first met him. It was clear to me that he was gay, and he realized that; it was unspoken but it made him feel more comfortable in his job. Over the 5 years he worked there he got more comfortable with himself and his true nature. When he left it was to move to NYC to work in a progressive, and not church related, organization working with homeless men, and it was clear he wasn't too far from coming out. It would be great if he was a DLer; B.C., if you're reading this please say hi! I hope you've had a good, fun filled life since I last saw you.

Social workers? God they're almost as bad as tightwads.

[quote]Those fuckers are the ones who are always sitting on a mountain of money.

Yep! My grandma was the one who gave Ramen Noodles for Christmas, and indeed she & my grandpa (supposedly) had over a million dollars in net worth when they died. And yet you'd never have known from looking at their home & lifestyle. I HATED going to their house as a kid because it was like sensory deprivation...absolutely NOTHING to play with. My grandma would give us old cracker boxes to play with. Fun!

I'll never get the point of working & depriving yourself of things all your life only to die with all that money in the bank, unused. Now my father's got it & he's giving it all away to his bum friends and the church (don't even get me started on that). He says he didn't earn the money so it's not his to spend. Maddening.

A friend of the gang I used to hang out with back in the 90s and early 00s, was so fucking cheap, one almost had to push him to the bar to buy his round of drinks, he would often wait until the last round in case some of us had to leave before he got to pay for drinks (this would be after work in the evening).

We were never invited to his home, apart from one time when he were invited to dinner, so four of us turned u to find it was "make your own pizza" night - we were presented with a cheap supermarket pizza base, and some tomato paste, bits of ham, pepper, onion etc to create our own pizzas!. I had travelled 70 miles by train for this, so never let him forget it. "Make you own pizza" became a joke for us.

He was also so cheap, once at a Gay Pride event, I had brought vodka and cartons of orange juice and cranberry juice, but we did not use the cranberry. I was going to leave it behind, and looked away. When I looked back the carton of cranberry juice was in his bag which he was zipping up - he and his equally cheap boyfriend were prepared to carry it around all day and take it home with them. They buy each other very cheap presents too. I don't really bother with them any more.

Another of the gang, lets call his Stewart - as that is his name - was another notorious cheapskate. Whatever present you gave him, for his birthday or christmas, went into his bric-a-brac stall in the local market, so one soon stopped buying him appropriate gifts.

Whenever a writer or singer was signing their latest works, he would take along everything by them to get signed, as they would then be worth more when he sold them. Poor opera singer Monserrat Caballe had to sign all her cds for him. He wasnt able to to Armistead Maupin signing his latest book and wanted me to go along and take all the Tales of The City books for Maupin to sign, but I refused.

They were amusing to mix with for a while, but one could not remain pals with such cheap people.

[quote]Whenever a writer or singer was signing their latest works, he would take along everything by them to get signed

I've done that. I didn't think of it as cheap. I don't live in NY or LA, so it's not every writer who comes here to do readings and sign books. I don't do it with the intention of selling them, but it was impossible to turn down selling my copy of Michael Chabon's "Kavalier and Clay" for $175 the day after it won the Pulitzer. I only wished I'd had 15 of them signed. But that was a fluke.

Oh, and I always buy a copy of the current novel at the place where the reading/signing is held.

R56 What makes you say that?

I don't mind people being frugal in creative ways, but when they start compromising their own hygiene and put other people's health at risk, I'm done with them. Plus some of these people pick the stupidest shit to try and save money on, that will never amount to anything, it's more like a mental disorder than anything.

A friend of mine is one of those people who will save all the condiment packets, as well as ask for extras every time he goes out to eat. He also brags about using their free Wi-Fi and cancelling his cable. If he'd stop going to McDonalds to eat every day, he could afford a fucking bottle of ketchup or an internet connection or a treadmill.

My fathers family is a long line of cheapskates. I had an aunt who was a millionaire (because she never spent a dime on anything) who gave up her dog because his food was "too expensive." I cried when she told us because that dog was the sweetest little Pomeranian that was a joy to have around. She took him to the pound, and this was back in the day when there was no such thing as a no-kill shelter, and they euthanized him 3 days later before crazy aunt told anyone and we could go rescue him.

The same aunt would take handouts from anyone and everyone. She was always giving my father blocks of moldy "government" cheese. Her car was the same one her late husband bought just before he died in the early '60s barely ran, and sucked gas like a monster truck... but she would not buy even a used "new" car and ended up staying home most of the time because the car wouldn't start.

When she died, her kids decided to have a fitting funeral. It was at a local church, the casket was "closed" because it was the display model the funeral director loaned them, her body sat at the mortuary because they wouldn't pay for it to be moved to the church for the service, and she was buried in a pine box. I doubt they had her embalmed. But the burial plot was in a nice cemetery because her late husband had bought the plots before he died. She tried to sell hers, but no one wanted to buy a plot that was clearly meant to be a husband-and-wife plot.

[quote]some of these people pick the stupidest shit to try and save money on, that will never amount to anything, it's more like a mental disorder than anything.

Yep. My dad is one of these people who will let his piss fester in the toilets all around the house, but has no problem blowing money everywhere else. Of all the places one could try and save money, the toilet flushing thing makes the absolute least amount of sense to me. First off, you don't get charged per flush. The only way flushing the toilet is gonna make his water bill go up is if that one flush pushes his water consumption over the next 1,000 gallon threshold for the month. In which case it's what, an additional $2.00? Big fucking deal.

And that water is not "wasted"...it's sent right back to where it came from! The water treatment facility. It's only "wasted" if it evaporates into the atmosphere, and even then it'll eventually rain back down to earth. So that excuse makes no damn sense, either. My dad lives in Michigan. It's surrounded by fucking water.

All you do by not flushing your toilets is gross other people out. If I walk into a bathroom to find piss chilling in the toilet, the first thing I do is flush it down anyway, so you're not saving shit.

I earn six figures, and I still shop as thrift stores the way I did when I was poor. Better to spend my money at a local charity store than on crap made by ten-year-old Chinese slave girls, Right? And I like looking for hidden treasures, and I'm all for reusing, repurposing, and recycling. That, IMHO, is a sensible level of thriftiness.

Buying green-tinged turkey a week after Thanksgiving and proudly announcing that it was only a dollar a pound, not so sensible. A college roommate did that, and I had ramen that night.

[quote]Better to spend my money at a local charity store than on crap made by ten-year-old Chinese slave girls, Right?

Depends on what you're buying. If, for instance, all you have for dinnerware is a bunch of chipped, unmatching crap, then while it might be "better," it's not necessarily good.

Some examples, please, of your thrift shop purchases and the Chinese junk equivalent you didn't buy.

I come from a big family and at the get-togethers we all would bring a dish or dessert. One of my sisters would make a big deal of bringing a nice cake or some other dessert, and as there was always so much food, we sometimes didn't get to everything. Later, right before she was ready to leave, she would send one of her sons to go take back her cake or anything else left untouched to put in her her car right. Of course, everyone was too aghast to say anything--that is, until after they were gone.

I guess it never occurred to her to ask!

Without fail, my aunt and uncle and their three children would show up to every family get-together with a can of olives and a bag of empty Tupperware for leftovers. They both had great jobs.

What's wrong with that, R66? If you bring food & it doesn't get eaten, you're not allowed to take it back home with you? I've seen this done (and have done it myself) many times.

Especially if you brought it in one of your own plates or bowls, R68.

I am fine financially but still have some of the spending habits I had as a student. For example, I will buy second-hand high-end cashmere sweaters at a market. I bring a tape measure and inspect carefully for damage or stains. Then I take it home and wash it. I have gotten $500 sweaters for $15.

[quote]For example, I will buy second-hand high-end cashmere sweaters at a market.

A "market"? Your grocery store sells sweaters?

No, R71, an outdoor market (Europe).

We never had a vacation. My father used to take his vacation in October because then he could stay home and watch the World Series. He would do yearly household maintenance during his "vacation."

My parents refused to send me to college because THEY didn't go to college, so why should I? They wasted money sending me to catholic school, but claimed no money for college. We lived very close to many ocean and bay beaches and I can count on my fingers the number of times we ever went to a beach. We never went to an amusement park or a circus or a carnival. The idea was generally, "We didn't have it, therefore you don't need it, either."

If I went to the bathroom, when I came out, my father had turned out my bedroom light to save electricity. Our living room was like a cave because my father put the lowest watt light bulb he could find in the lamp, then sat up against the lamp to read the paper, literally spreading the newspaper up to the bulb.

My mother likes boys, not girls. My sister and I never got new clothes, but my mother would use her money to buy new clothes for my aunt's sons because she felt so sorry for them. I don't understand this form of mental illness. My sister's sons blow all their money because they will just call my mother up and cry that they can't pay their rent or pay for the brand new furniture they charged at a high priced furniture store, while I'm buying crap at Ikea. My nephews are drunken gamblers thanks to grandma constantly rescuing them. There will be no money for me to inherit -- I already know that -- because my mother is always giving my nephews money. "Why should you wait until I die? You should enjoy my money while im alive!" she tells them. Whatever. I don't drink or gamble, so I guess I'm better off. Once she's dead, I'll go on scrimping while my nephews will be in extreme shock. At least I'm properly prepared.

I've never met someone who so weirdly favors one gender over another. My mother never had male children. She grew up in a very large poor family. There were 4 girls and 5 boys. The girls were born first, then the boys. Her parents made the girls responsible for watching and raising the boys while the parents worked. Most of the boys grew up to be alcoholics while the girls all married idiots and worked their asses off in physically demanding jobs while their husbands made less money, never washed a dish, made a bed, bought themselves clothes (not even underwear) or so much as boiled an egg. We girls were expected to be the same -- worker drones who waited hand and foot on lazy ass males, never getting a kind word or a decent gift or a thank you.

Did not happen in my case. I work for myself, cook for myself, clean for myself. I've never received thanks for all my hard work at any job, but life prepared me for that. At least I don't slave for some dumbass male when I get home.

I respect people who don't waste money. I make a good income but I still shop at Aldi twice a month (it's not my only grocery shopping).

I spend my saved money on vacations. Going away three times this winter.

[quote]My parents refused to send me to college because THEY didn't go to college, so why should I? They wasted money sending me to catholic school, but claimed no money for college. We lived very close to many ocean and bay beaches and I can count on my fingers the number of times we ever went to a beach. We never went to an amusement park or a circus or a carnival. The idea was generally, "We didn't have it, therefore you don't need it, either."

My father was like this. Anything he didn't have as a kid, my brother and I didn't deserve to have. My mother was the complete opposite. I always knew I'd go to college.

[quote]If I went to the bathroom, when I came out, my father had turned out my bedroom light to save electricity.

You and I are brothers of different mothers, but the very same father.

Ironically, one place he sought to save money was by buying Brand X soda. Yet anytime we went to visit his mother, who lived nearby, she would pour us each a Pepsi.

Wow, some of these stories are awful. I am happy to say that the only argument I have ever had with my father over money was his habit of turning off lights in rooms that were not being used. It's just a fucking light bulb... in a 10,000 sq ft house. Anyway, I think I am a spendthrift so thank goodness I married someone who is conscious of wasting money. There is a HUGE different between being unnecessarily frugal and being realistically frugal.

My sister in law is one of the cheapest people I've ever met. The first year the family did the holidays together she bought me a cat pin because she knew I liked cats. The problem was that it was an enamel cat pin and half the enamel had been rubbed off. She bought it used and damaged at a flea market. It made me wonder where she thought I would go where I would think it appropriate to wear a badly damaged pin on my clothing? Then I realized she didn't care. She didn't see me as a person but as a collection of vague impressions she'd barely paid attention to. Needs a gift for me...."hmmm...let's see..... likes cats...hmmm... there's the flea market. Get cat thing for $1 or less."

She's just married for the third time. She's not some poverty-stricken troll. Her husband is wealthy. They live in a half million dollar condo with $500/month carrying charges and $20k/year taxes. She just gave her brother two neoprene drinking glass covers for his birthday. One says Yankees, one says Mets. I don't even think she got them at the dollar store. I think she got them for free somewhere.

Another Christmas, she gave me a keychain with an animal rescue group logo on it. She's too cheap to donate to animal rescue, so I'm sure she got it for 10 cents at a yard sale or something. As a birthday gift, she once gave her 7 year old nephew a guidebook from a safari park she'd visited about 10 years previously.

Another Christmas gift to me --- a matchbox she'd covered with pictures she'd cut out of a magazine, then shellacked. It was a "decoupage box I could use for hairpins."

Hairpins?

Who am I, Witch Hazel?

I stuck some tiny metal Christmas ornament holders in it. So I get to see see every christmas, even though it doesn't close right. It makes me laugh.

R76, I'd get along with your dad. Growing up with a single mom (whose salary was barely above poverty level,) my siblings and I were always taught to turn off the lights in rooms that weren't in use.

Apparently, I learned this lesson well, because I drive my dad crazy whenever I visit because I'm always turning off lights in rooms no one is using.

I can't win.

My mother is very cheap, she would always hire maids from El Salvador because they would work for less than the Mexican maids.

It actually takes more electricity to constantly turn lights on & off rather than just leaving them on.

R7 writes,

[quote]Not my relative but a woman I worked with. Her name was Jolene and she would wash Styrofoam cups. She was an old woman, so that meant that every single cup had dozens of lipstick stains on the rim. People quickly learned not to ask for a drink at her house because they would be served in one of these cups. She would always say, "It's okay because I washed it". LOL

It wouldn't be okay if she owned and ran a restaurant this way.

Some of the "cheap relatives" are the hoarder types who are more damaging than economizing.

to R80 's point

Leaving it on would use more energy, absolutely. Sometimes, people try to convince themselves that turning a light on and off uses more energy because there is some high inrush current, or some such thing.

Firstly, incandescent lights hardly have any inrush current, because they don't have any capacitors to charge, and they need not strike an arc in the bulb. The current is initially higher because the filament resistance is lower, but:this is for a fraction of a second.

Getting it up to temperature doesn't take any more energy than it would have taken to leave it on to maintain that temperatur even though the current may be higher, it's not that much higher. Do all the other lights in your house dim temporarily when you turn one on?

Secondly, if you take a fluorescent bulb, which may have capacitors, and thus may require some inrush current, it doesn't begin to make up for the cost of leaving the light on. Consider again how short the turn-on period is relative to the leaving-on period. Even if you consider the wear-and-tear on the bulb and the starter and the fixture, it's almost always more economical to turn the bulb off. I read a report by someone who bothered to do all the math, and they concluded that if you intend to leave the light off for more than about 60 seconds, it's more economical to do so.

Au contraire, R80

[quote]I have a friend whose prime directive is to not spend one more minute at home alone than he absolutely has to. Once he meets that need, he's also the cheapest person I've ever known.

I don't understand what the first part of this paragraph has to do with what follows. It's a good story, though. And reheated coffee the next morning is the WORST, even if it was properly brewed, awesome coffee.

I also don't understand why this thread died an immediate death back in August '13. What else was going on then? This has the makings of a DL classic.

Does turning the electricity on and off more often lessen the life of the bulb at all (I'm talking about the light bulbs we grew up with)?

What I meant, R84, and obviously expressed poorly, is that not being at home trumps every other concern this person has, including spending money. If not spending money were his true major motivator, he would buy canned coffee and brew it himself. He spends more money, I imagine, going out for every cup -- every other cup, actually -- he drinks.

Who could be in a relationship with any of these cheapskates? Most of the cheap behavior is a play at controlling people around them. Not just a romantic relationship but a friendship. I would have looked at that cat pin and asked her point blank why the hell she thought I would like that.

[quote]I also don't understand why this thread died an immediate death back in August '13. What else was going on then? This has the makings of a DL classic.

I didn't even notice it's over a year old and had only two responses before being revived.

It does have the makings of a classic; usually, even truly cheap people can look down at someone else as being miserly.

[quote] Most of the cheap behavior is a play at controlling people around them.

Caroline Knapp, who wrote "Drinking, A Love Story," told a strange story about her parents' household. No matter if people were invited as dinner guests, the same amount of food (for a family of their size) was always served. If there were guests, the code was "FHB" (for Family Hold Back), so there would be enough for the guest(s). Quite a bizarre message to send.

Mind you, the family was well-off upper middle-class (father was a psychiatrist) who put their kids through Ivy League schools.

Jesus, R55, that was longest, most boring story ever.

r90

I'd rather have the Ebola-AIDS, than listen to that story again.

I liked r55s post (thank you for sharing, r55.) Your post, r90. added no value.

[quote]but when my aunt,then uncle died there was no money to be found ! My cousins still have no idea what they did with it !

Did any of them ask that mysterious bejeweled, well-dressed lady with the big bossoms who showed up at Daddy's funeral?

Bullshit, R70. You don't wash cashmere unless you want a sweater that will only be able to fit a toddler.

R73, are you a time traveler from Sicily circa 1922?

R77, why are the adults in your family giving each other gifts at all? How pointless. Christmas gifts are for children.

It added value if R55 will think twice next time and get to the fucking point in one paragraph.

R94, whatever do you mean? I always hand-wash cashmere sweaters and they do not shrink at all. Cool water, shampoo and conditioner. Wouldn't dream of dry cleaning them.

There is a scene in Where the Boys Are where Connie Francis asks for a cup of hot water in a diner and pulls out her own tea bag. I had a couple of aunts who did this.

Was this a thing cheap people did back then? It seems pretty appalling to me.

I also enjoyed R55's post. I hope, R55, that you hear from B.C., And that he is happy and doing well.

I liked R55's story, too. R90 can only cunt. R55 can tell a tale.

FU # 46. My story is true. Just FU.

[quote]my father over money was his habit of turning off lights in rooms that were not being used. It's just a fucking light bulb... in a 10,000 sq ft house.

I would agree with your father, that's common sense nowadays. You're wasteful.

I had a Jewish roommate once who would steal toilet paper & paper towels from his work. All of his bath towels were stolen from various hotels, as was his bath robe. He would try to nickel & dime me every chance he got. Never again!

My dad grew up dirt poor during the Depression. I mean DIRT POOR. His family lived in a shack by the river.

He made it clear to me that no matter what happened, I was going to college. His only advice to me was "don't get pregnant". I mean he was THAT determined that I go to college.

I did go to college and I didn't get knocked up.

[quote][R76], I'd get along with your dad. Growing up with a single mom (whose salary was barely above poverty level,) my siblings and I were always taught to turn off the lights in rooms that weren't in use.

I used to think my mom was nuts because she'd sit and read in an almost completely dark room, the book or whatever would almost touch her nose. She'd say that she'd started reading when the sun was out and didn't need the light on then so why turn it on now?

But the entire time I've been on my own I never turn lights on either unless I absolutely have to.

I don't either, R106. Just don't need them on.

[quote]We never had a vacation. My father used to take his vacation in October because then he could stay home and watch the World Series. He would do yearly household maintenance during his "vacation."

We took plenty of vacations when I was a kid (starting in 1969 when I was eight) but they were always tied to going to a stupid Jehovah's Witness annual convention. It was hard to complain though because we'd always go to places like Disneyland and Sea World too.

As we got older me and my two younger brothers would have to sleep in the van so my dad wouldn't have to pay for an extra room. He'd rent a room with two double beds, my parents would take one and my sister and youngest brother would take the other while we slept in the van. They banished the youngest brother to the van when he got old enough. We slept in that van on the sides of roads, in parking lots, in parking garages and they never once worried about any harm coming to us.

The one and only time my brother and me got to sleep in a motel room bed during that period was when we'd taken a vacation that was combined with his work rather than the religion. His colleague eventually found out that my brother and me were sleeping in the van so he let us have the other double bed in his motel room. It wasn't any type of potential molestation situation, he treated us like we were his own children.

Try letting your kids sleep in a car now.

[quote]His family lived in a shack down by the river.

There. Fixed that for you.

Someone asked what you can find in thrift shops. FYI my recent finds have included a good winter parka for $8, a casual blazer and a windbreaker that matches the color of my eyes for $5 each, a Dutch oven with a chip in the outer enamel for $7, comfortable walking shoes for $10, etc. The two thrift shops in my town benefit excellent local charities, so buying everyday stuff there (and donating) is a win all around.

That's reasonable frugality. My mother's saving every piece of gift wrap the family ever received and screaming like a banshee if I ever suggested buying a $1 roll of wrapping paper, not so much. My parents both made excellent money and lived in a VERY ritzy area, so I went to birthday parties in million-dollar homes with presents wrapped in obviously re-used paper.

My father was very frugal. He was really shaken up by the depression. He used to collect salt, pepper and sugar packets from restaurants. One time I found him with a pile of empty salt packets at the kitchen table and observed him emptying the salt packets into one of our salt shakers.

We took really inexpensive vacations and shopped at Kmart. He never complained about paying for braces for my brother or I or for fully paying for our college (including dorms, books and food.)

He also paid for my niece and nephew to go to college.

A few years before he passed away he showed my Mom, brother and I the statements from our family trust (he had set it up decades before.) It had $3 million dollars in it.

He was really frugal in some ways but really generous when it was important.

When it was raining, my uncle would pour laundry detergent on his car and wash it with a broom. And then he'd wash the driveway with the leftover suds.

Years ago, I drove about four hours to see my father and his family (the wife after my mom, her girls who he had raised, an adopted nasty little fucker of a son, and a passel of grandchildren along with their fathers).

Anyhow, teriyaki was ordered to the house while I was visiting for the weekend. My dad paid with no complaint and I was very thankful, but my frau bitch stepsisters all started nudging their nondescript lump husbands to get out their wallets and throw in money. They also shot me dirty looks and asked why I wouldn't put in money (they wanted ten dollars, I had no cash).

I told them that since I'd moved out (been kicked out for being gay) the week I turned 18, I had paid for many meals, living on my own and supporting myself and working my way through college (I'm actually a professor now). In those years, I had never received a cent or even one restaurant meal purchased by my father, who, as I reminded them all as I enjoyed my teriyaki, was good enough to employ all three of their husbands at his construction company. After a decade of making it on my own and without a hubby, I told them I'd be fine with my dad footing the then bucks for my chicken. Pin drop. And he agreed.

My father enjoyed the living hell out of my outburst.

One aunt was ridiculous.

Saved everything,including leftover lettuce from salads that had dressing on it.

Even if would only fit in a tablespoon.

Fast forward 30 yrs of being uber thrifty...

She and her physician husband were conned out of their life savings.

They divorced soon after...both in their seventies.

r85 definitely turning the older filament bulbs on and off reduced their life. it is said if u turn one on, it could continue to burn for multple decades, negating power surges and electric outtages. fortunately we have the newer LED lights which burn cleaner, Ban VOTN please, and are much more energy efficient.

My parents made it from working-class depression kids to upper-middle class homeowners in that had a massive real estate boom, and insisted that they wanted their children to be "professionals" and to enjoy all the advantages they never had.

The thing is, their depression-taught penny-pinching ended up denying us most of the privileges they said they wanted for us. They refused to pay for college because they worked their way through college and we would to, so those of us that graduated we spent years struggling to work our way through. We never fit in with our wealthy schoolmates, because kids are shallow and wouldn't dream of befriending kids who are only allowed to have one pair of shoes and two pair of pants at a time. Only one of us turned out to be the kind of successful "professional" they expected all of us to be, and he was the youngest, the favorite, and was the only one to have his way paid through college.

Of course, the parents never miss an opportunity to tell us what disappointment the rest of us are. Because they're not just frugal, they're assholes.

Re thrift store finds. Last spring paid $4 for a small early 20th century painting of the plein air school. Sold it for $500 the next day. Alas, this rarely happens.

I knew a man who lived in a luxury condo in a gated community. His pad was chock full of valuable art and antiques and he had a Rolls Royce in the garage. He also had kitchen drawers full of condiments - thousands of packets of sweeteners of all kinds, salt, pepper, ketchup, you name it. He even had mayonnaise packets from who knows where and when, acquired along with everything else on his frequent travels. He had no need whatever to hoard and skimp but he was powerless not to grab all the condiments he could get whenever the opportunity arose.

I wish I could find a few good Blazers in a thrift shop. But size 46 tall is hard to find unless it's for a fat guy.

r102 nope never happened. you shouldn't curse at me u big ole MARY.

R113, what is "teriyaki"? I've heard of things like chicken teriyaki and teriyaki-flavored ramen noodles, but you say you ordered from a teriyaki restaurant and everyone (I presume) had teriyaki -- what was it that you all actually ate that unforgettable evening?

Yeah, R113, and I'm confused about why your father would be so happy to be outed as a horrible, homophobic asshole parent who kicked his own child out with no financial support.

I once dated a guy whose family were loaded with money. His father had retired early as the CEO of a large asset management company.

On our first date, he made a salad to go with the meal. We didn't eat much of it because we were too busy "having fun". The next day he served this dressed, limp salad AGAIN. I know... I'm a fool and should've run a mile but I was young and stupid then.

His family would fly in now and again and we'd go out to dinner at nice restaurants and they would always bring their own bottles of wine. These were not expensive wines and were usually on the wine list. WTF? They had enough money to pay the upcharge instead of looking like poor whites.

I can't handle cheap wealthy people. You can't take it with you, spend some of it for fuck sakes.

My 78 y/o mother is like that, R123. She's very frugal, but brags about how rich she is (inherited). Some of my siblings are struggling financially (for good reasons--illness, divorce) and she always acts like she gave them a kidney if she helps them out.

Someone upthread said that money hoarders are all about controlling people. I think that is definitely the case with my mother. She has a savior complex. Taking any money from her comes at a very steep price because she'll never let you forget it. She'll make you kiss her ring for the rest of your life.

^^….and I know you hate that. (thought there was more room in the author tag.

My aunt, a multi-millionaire who owns several businesses, lots of land, rental properties, etc., is the cheapest person I know.

We would go there and the only thing to play with was a set of books to make things--no toys. I wasn't allowed to even take a paper plate or anything to draw on. It was horribly boring.

My aunt loves to shop at garage sales and over the years I've received puzzles with half the pieces missing wrapped in a plastic (reused) plastic sandwich bag tied with a bread twist tie. Happy 5th birthday to me.

She does a lot of the things mentioned above--plastic cutlery reused, salt and pepper shakers taken from restaurants, etc.

The worst gift I ever got from her was a regift of a tin of popcorn--and the already-popped popcorn was moldy and the tin was rusty.

I refused to stay with her because I knew the sheets and towels were all garage sale purchases for a dime or less.

It's really hard to like someone that is so cheap. I've felt guilty about it for years, and I feel shallow for feeling that way, but it's really sad an otherwise nice, kind person's cheapness overshadows any good personality traits.

My mother decked herself out in Yves St Laurent and Courreges, but dressed my sister and me in ugly Sears Roebuck dresses -- two a year. We looked dowdy at school and were mocked by our classmates.

Even today she will reuse a stained napkin and declare that she is "saving the planet."

My parents were Depression babies as several others have mentioned, however, they were never poor or deprived. My father did very well and by the time he retired at 55 they were worth about 8 million. After retirement they moved to Palm Beach and built a 2 1/2 million dollar home with all the bells and whistles. Having lived with them through all the years of over the top thriftiness, I thought "YAY!! Finally they will indulge themselves and I'll get to experience a bit of the luxury as well." Errr, not so much. When I was 46 and going through the most horrendous hot flashes, they refused to allow me to use their air conditioning. S. Fl. is ridiculously humid, and add my internal furnace to that--80 degrees is pure hell to try to sleep in. And they had zoned a/c, so they wouldn't have needed to cool the entire place. My father went to WalMart and bought a $20 fan and told me to knock myself out. Their pool was large and very architecturally stunning. It was surrounded by lush landscaping and was a focal point for entertaining. However, the 10 person jacuzzi which overflowed into the main pool, and had scads of jets, would NEVER bee heated. Nope. They and their guests would just sit in the room temperature water bubbling away and pretend it was therapeutic. It was like watching something on Seinfeld. After their deaths last year, I found the oft mentioned 20 year supply of fast food condiment packets stowed in multiple drawers in their kitchen. Wines with screw tops were consumed, while 20 year old single malt Scots whiskey sat unopened in the bar. Books of those "dining out" coupons represented every year of the 2000's. They ate out nearly every night, but it had to be either a senior discount or a coupon accepting restaurant. Never once in my entire life did anyone order an appetizer or a dessert. Now, the money is mine. PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!

My mother had a particular way of being frugal. Like other suburban ladies in our New England neighborhood, we had a maid from the South. But the turnover was high. The reason was, my mother was too cheap to hire people who had prior job training or even life experience. The result was we were living, 2 adults and 2 children, plus the maid, in a 2300 sq ft house, with someone who had no concept of hygiene, had never heard of deodorant, had no idea how to cook or clean or even speak standard English. She compiled a 10 page manual and trained them up. And they also did not know how to comport themselves in the big city, so we had their hoodlum boyfriends from Roxbury banging on the door. And of course they left as soon as they were up to standard, to get a better salary.

R129, how odd. You had a tiny little 2300 sf house with a live in maid? From the south? South of what….the US? I have trouble believing that story is true much less that it was common to "other suburban ladies" in your New England neighborhood.

I lived in New England for many years and can not recall anyone with homes twice that size having a live in maid at all, much less one brought up, like slave labor......"from the south."

What throw back era was this and where in New England?

My dad was so cheap. We didn't have a VCR, cable, CD player, or computer. Newfangled technology, he called them (c. late '80s/early '90s). I always felt behind the times when I'd go to a friend's house and they had the latest gadget. A lot of my friends had their own TV (with cable) and computer in their rooms. Some even had their own phone line.

My dad wouldn't even take us to the barber's and he'd insist on cutting our hair, even though he had no talent. In my elementary school photos, I always have such a hack job!

One morning, in fourth grade, I told my dad I needed new shoes because my sneakers were so worn the sole of one of them was coming off, exposing my toes. What did he do? He simply wrapped the toe of my shoe completely with duct tape and made me go to school like that.

Thank God my mom divorced his ass when I was 12! He was ruining my social life.

R130, I assure you it's true. Suburbs of Boston. Yes, the house was not large at all, a split level built in 1960. Yes, the maids were all from the deep South. 1960s. It was not slave labor by any means. They were young and wanted to come north.

68, What is wrong, is she would do this well before the party was over. And she never asked. she just being sneaky. Usually she would leave because she had another function to go to and needed something to bring. It's just tacky. And cheap.

[quote]Books of those "dining out" coupons represented every year of the 2000's. They ate out nearly every night, but it had to be either a senior discount or a coupon accepting restaurant. Never once in my entire life did anyone order an appetizer or a dessert

That was my parents. Also when the waitress would come by and ask if anybody wanted dessert my mom would say "we have dessert waiting for us at home". When I was a kid when we got home I asked my mom where the dessert was because I thought we actually had some. My mom just said this as an excuse, why she felt she needed to explain to the waitress I don't know.

No, you admit it! You thought I was cheap!

We were food stamp poor when I was a kid and my mom would buy our clothes from the DAV thrift store. This started around 1968 or so when I was seven and continued until I jot a job when I was 17 and could afford to buy them. We'd rarely get new.

When we were smaller she'd buy them bigger so "you'll grow into them." Combine that with her not giving a shit WHAT it looked like as long as it was wearable and I was the dork who was picked on from 7th grade until I was a freshman in High School.

For the life of her she could not understand why I bought new clothes when I started earning my own money.

R136 but is that really your mom's fault as you stated you were "food stamp poor". If you're poor, you're poor, it has nothing to do with being cheap. Rich, cheap bastards are the topic of the conversation here.

My biological family was okay with this, but the people I considered my family as a young adult included a couple of really cheap people. One would try to get waiters to knock the price of a salad down if he passed on the dressing (and refused to believe that wasn't possible, and that one dressing wasn't more expensive than another); another would just hover around when we were all out together, never offering to buy anyone a drink unless it was your actual birthday, fleeing early when it seemed like everyone would eventually be called on to buy a round for the (small) group. The funniest thing he did (but that lead to him being jettisoned): we all went to this off-off-Bway play one night, and I'd gotten the tickets with everyone agreeing to pay me back. After the show we stood on the corner trying to make change for this one, for that one, everyone has twenties dammit, etc. and finally we worked it out. Cheap friend said, okay, well, I'm going to call it a night, and was off.

By the time we got to the bar we were headed to, we'd all gone over the money exchange in our heads again, and concluded that we'd paid him $20 to spend the evening with us.

(As an aside: The two people I mention here were corporate types, while the rest of us were poor artists.)

What it meant R137 is that she wouldn't spend a penny more than she had to if she could get away with it. She never wanted to be a mother and she had five kids, two within 24 months.

We were an obligation.

r129 this never happened. just a wayto blame your poor ole sweet mom. for shame.

R139, I apologize then...

R140, you're wrong. It was a real phenomenon in MA, NY, NJ. On one of his early albums, George Carlin even did a comedy routine about maids doing a vacuum-cleaning competition in suburban Jewish living rooms.

I had a great-uncle who was stinginess itself.

He had had a job as the senior accounting manager of a large company and had an extremely good salary for the majority of his life, but lived in a tiny apartment filled with the cheapest second hand furniture he'd been able to find, a 30-year-old TV he'd bought in the 60s and 3 light bulbs. The surfaces of tables, shelves and flat parts of other furniture were covered with old newspapers, because "in that way you don't have to waste money on cleaning products". The day my grandmother suggested that he hire a cleaning lady, he got into a fury and answered that she should clean his house for free instead, to show some gratitude for the fact that he had supported her when she was a child (their father died when my grandmother and her siblings were very young, and the two oldest brothers had had to work like crazy to keep a roof over everyone's heads and put some food on the table).

Whenever he wasn't working, he'd wear exactly the same clothes all the time, and only ate a sandwich and the runniest spinach soup imaginable once a day. On weekends, he'd make "surprise visits" with relatives and friends at lunch time, and would invite himself to eat while asking people to do his dirty laundry because, apparently, his washing machine was always broken and he couldn't find a good repairman. I used to hate his visits, because he'd sit to eat at 12 and wouldn't stop swallowing food until well past 4 o'clock. Then, he'd ask to take all the leftovers home "because food is expensive and you know I'm poor", but got angry when people gave him actual leftovers - he wanted the newest and best they had. He also had the cheek to ask family members to iron his clothes while he sat to watch TV, and always left without even a miserable "thank you". He took so much advantage of people, that everyone started to go out on weekends so that they wouldn't have to put up with him, which frequently elicited irate "you are all such ungrateful bastards" tirades.

On a sadder note, he had a son with a coworker and, to avoid supporting him, he accused her of being a whore and said that the boy wasn't his. To make matters worse, he always refused to take a paternity test and my great-grandmother, my grandmother and her sisters had to take it upon themselves to make sure that the child didn't go without, because his mother already supported her elderly parents and they barely got by with her salary.

He was also notorious for refusing to help relatives in need even though he'd made a fortune in stock-trading, but he still had the cheek to get furious whenever someone denied him anything at all. Eventually, most people ended up hating his guts, because he was incredibly abusive whenever people tried to prevent him from taking advantage of them.

However, his undoing came when, in his late 70s, he met a couple of sinister white trash criminals. He had been in jail for drug-trafficking and was a "mechanic", but was hired as a gardener, and she was both his "housekeeper" and "special friend". Over the following 10 years, they cleaned his accounts, sold his three houses from under his ass, brutally mistreated him and eventually, disappeared with the money. Two of my mother's cousins took pity on him and paid for a care home while they were trying to recover what had been stolen (very little was ever recovered), and he still had the nerve to complain about the fact that the care home wasn't luxurious enough, and accused my mom's cousins of "being greedy" and "trying to fleece" him! Also, the old piece of shit got angry with them when they told him how the "housekeeper" had gone to prison, and said that they wanted "to steal his happiness".

Not strangely at all, when the old fart kicked the bucket three years ago, only 3 people attended the funeral.

Damn, you bitches have given me a reality check!

I used to think my father was so cheap he squeaked when he walked. But he's been generous to us kids *when we needed it*. He grumbles about it, but compared to some of these nightmares, he's very generous. This gives me perspective.

i was just kidding. i just like to say this never. happened on here, just to evoke a response.

Distant relation lived by us and the kids rode the same bus. Every day the kids would carry lunch in an old sugar bag, reusing the same paper bag over and over. They were the same clothes all the time, even when the pants were way up their ankle from them outgrowing them. We went to the same church as them and they used to have dinners and soup suppers at church where you paid with a donation. Their whole family would eat and the dad would throw a dollar in the donation jar. The dad was a partner in the biggest, richest law firm in our city. Why the heck would you let your family live that way?

Stinginess is a sickness just like hoarding.

R143, why would anyone think they have to leave their own house to get rid of an obnoxious asshole? Just lock the door and if he causes a scene, call the cops to have him removed from the property. I would feel no obligation at all to a pig like that, and I don't feel a bit sorry for the doormats who put up with it. They obviously got something out of it….probably liked having something/someone to complain about so they could feel like martyrs.

R128, your story warmed my heart (at least the ending). What are you doing with the money and their Palm Beach home, if you don't mind my asking?

R136, in your mother's defense, it's good sense for a single mother on food stamps to pinch every penny. Poor is poor, and there's no magical way for someone on the edge of disaster to make five kids look good enough to meet the standards of the high school bitches. Your emotional relationship may have been awful for other reasons, but the awful clothes may have made food on the table and doctor visits possible.

And in the defense of all of those who obsessed about saving water - obviously some of you have never been in a serious drought. Sometimes it's not about saving money, you have to save water because there just isn't enough for everyone to flush the toilet every damn time.

Okay. That said, please carry on with hilarious stories of stingy bitches!

I can't fathom why anyone in your family didn't tell him off. I can't imagine how multiple people didn't tell him to go jump off the nearest bridge.

[quote][R136], in your mother's defense, it's good sense for a single mother on food stamps to pinch every penny. Poor is poor, and there's no magical way for someone on the edge of disaster to make five kids look good enough to meet the standards of the high school bitches. Your emotional relationship may have been awful for other reasons, but the awful clothes may have made food on the table and doctor visits possible.

She wasn't a single mom. My dad was very much around and provided for us but he didn't make very much money, at least that's what I was told.

When I graduated from college, I left Atlanta and moved to NYC. I never looked back. As I became more successful, my family started to turn needy. I got regular requests to "donate" to one cousin or another.

Three years ago, after a visit from my dad and 2 sisters pumping me for money the entire time, I gave them each the most money I could without incurring taxes. When I gave them each the check, and the appropriate IRS form to report the money, they were upset I wouldn't do this "under the table."

Luckily, none of them have my direct number, and when they call, my trusted assistant takes the calls. Since I never return the calls, the calls now are few and far between. I think they are finally getting the message that I'm on to them...

[quote]I knew a man who lived in a luxury condo in a gated community..... He also had kitchen drawers full of condiments - thousands of packets of sweeteners of all kinds, salt, pepper, ketchup, you name it.

R118, I guess I can relate to this guy. I am pretty well off, yet I also collect condiments. It's not that I'm too cheap to buy ketchup, it's more that I feel I am being a sap or stupid buying it when I know it's available free.

Have you had relatives who went through your garbage to ask you why you were throwing items away that they thought had value?

[quote]And in the defense of all of those who obsessed about saving water - obviously some of you have never been in a serious drought. Sometimes it's not about saving money, you have to save water because there just isn't enough for everyone to flush the toilet every damn time.

Can you please explain to me how flushing a toilet would worsen a drought? Toilet water is part of a closed system--it goes right back to the facility it came from, only to be cleaned & sent out yet again. Watering your lawn or filling a swimming pool during a drought, on the other hand...

R147, I agree with you up to a certain extent. The truth is that many people in my family (as well as friends and acquaintances) put up with him because he was my late great-grandmother's favourite son, and she was highly respected in our social circle. Sadly, she'd emotionally blackmail everyone (especially her daughters) into allowing my great-uncle to walk all over them. He also had a great salary and did exceptionally well stock trading. Moreover, he became very wealthy by the time he hit 50, and many people put up with him out of sheer interest. They only realized that they were being used and would never get anything in return much later, and that's when they broke off all contact with him.

R153 But it's crap having to squirt it out of those tiny little sachets, especially if it's not Heinz. I've never liked using ketchup sachets, you get really thin streaks instead of proper dollops.

[quote] You get really thin streaks instead of proper dollops.

And we're back to not flushing the toilet for dumps.

This is why I can't stand my partner's brother. Brother Dearest wanted to leave some boxes in our storage shed while he was moving. But "a couple of days" turned into months, then 2 YEARS, and I finally told him to get them out or I was going to charge him rent.

The boxes turned out to be full of CANNED GOODS - which of course had been baked to death during the hot summers and frozen during the frigid winters out there in the shed and were likely unsafe for consumption. He said, "Well, I guess I didn't really need this stuff - you guys can keep it."

When I declined because, hey, BOTULISM...he said, "Okay, let's just toss them in your garbage can then". That would be the garbage can service that we pay $50 bucks a month for.

I told him to load up his car and go throw them in his own garbage can. I'm sure he offloaded them in some dumpster - hope to God he didn't drop them at some innocent food bank.

I had an uncle who would eat dark meat off chicken. How cliche.

[quote]There is a scene in Where the Boys Are where Connie Francis asks for a cup of hot water in a diner and pulls out her own tea bag. I had a couple of aunts who did this.

[quote]Was this a thing cheap people did back then? It seems pretty appalling to me.

I have seen similar things like that happening today. I was a restaurant server for a year in college and there was a man who was a regular and everyone recognized him all the time. He ordered water and we always saw him pulling lemon juice packets or powered mixes and mixing them into the water. It never bothered any of us. A few months back, I was visiting a friend and his wife. The friend and I were telling restaurant server stories. When I mentioned the guy with the lemon juice packets, my friend's wife said that her stepmother does that all the time at a restaurants.

Mother would pass out ketchup packets at Halloween...

r163 = Norman Bates

R162 I take my own lemon/flavoring for water mix packets to restaurants when I order water. Why? One of the dirtiest, germiest, filthiest things you can get in a restaurant is a slice of lemon in your water. Seriously. Google it. Gross.

Oh, and if you decide to start taking your own--don't buy that Mio garbage--pure chemicals, and not any good ones.

Not sure how much it counts as cheapness but my grandad was a bit of a hoarder who wouldn't throw things away even once he'd finished with them. Me and my dad weeks clearing junk out of his loft, garage, shed and bedrooms. Buried under all the junk in the garage we discovered three toilets, God knows where he got those from. Other stuff we found included window frames, parts from cars he'd owned decades ago (grilles, dashboard dials, windows and windscreens including a whole engine from a Mini) my dad's highchair from when he was a baby and all kinds of other shit.

My dad said "He filled his house with crap to save maybe a few hundred quid".

I have to agree with a poster who stated up thread that cheapness really takes over a person's personality and makes them hard to like. They are stingy with EVERYTHING - attention, love, empathy, etc. My step-mother and my partner's parents are extreme misers and I just can't related to them. I've also wondered if a lot of extreme cheap-os are on the autism spectrum.

I have a cheap friend who needed to do some document shredding. His (cheap) shredder broke when he had under an inch of paper left. I told him he could get the rest done at Staples. They have a shredding service.

I got a message from him. He was all puffed up because they wanted to charge him. I was all, "Well, of course. It's a business. You expected them to do it for free?" And he responded "I expect to get everything for free."

R167, the textbooks say that hoarding and miserliness are "anxiety disorders", which basically means these people are ruled by fear. Constant, overwhelming FEAR. They feel completely overwhelmed by life, and fear that if they ever let go of anything, a penny or a rubber band, they'll never be able to replace it and will have to do without forever.

Constant, overwhelming fear takes over the brain, it forces survival instincts to the fore, and pushes out seemingly non-essential feelings like interest in other people. Hoarders and misers think they're doing what they need to do to survive, when in some cases what they really need to survive is family support (like, if they're getting old).

Sadly, psychology does not offer much in the way of cures for these disorders. Anti-anxiety medication can take the edge off of the fear, but it can always come back and trigger new hoarding or miserliness.

168 if he expects to get everything for free does he do everything for other people free as well?

Great thread

I really like the single salt shaker as a wedding present. That made me laugh.