Are there some lesbians who do not perform cunnilingus/oral sex as part of their relationships or sexual encounters?

Yes -- they're called "pillow princesses."

I, however, have never been with one.

So "pillow princesses" refuse to perform oral sex on their sexual partners, but accept oral sex from their partners?

Some don't do anal even on a surprise basis.

Pillow Princesses prefer to just lie there and let sex happening to them without doing any of the work.

[quote]Some don't do anal even on a surprise basis.

This is hysterical!

It is in the damn LESBIAN handbook, OP. LOOK IT UP!

[quote]Is it selfish? Well, okay, in the case of Kelly it was. But I let the rest of the women I sleep with know what they're getting into. If it helps, it's not the cruelty of blue-clitting somebody that appeals to me, it's just the aspect of being "attended" to like pillow royalty. Plus, women who don't care about "their turn" because they get off on giving head are usually really good at it and [italic]very[/italic] enthusiastic.

Why not? There are plenty of gay men who don't give head.

Shouldn't this be a poll?

I'm a lesbian and yes, they exist. In fact, the only ones who have returned the favor to me where the bi girls. All the lesbians I've dated refused to do it even though they would lay there and let me do it to them.

Thus, why I'm single.

I've only heard of one such case. Been out since 1970.

I actually don't like receiving oral sex--there's something about staring at the ceiling instead of looking into someone's face that grosses me out. Hence, I've always been on the giving end.

But I'm single now...

R12, you could try 69. Just saying.

Hey R13,

Maybe I'm too squeamish or something--I've never found a 69 position that I could sustain for more than a few minutes. If you're on top, blood rush to the head; on bottom, neck strain.

(Not to gross anyone out...)

And then there is side-by-side, which exposes (to me) the main problem of two women 69ing: the tongue works fastest and best licking "up," and the clit of every women I've known also works best being licked in the upward position. When you're 69ing, everything is reversed, and you either have to tuck your neck at an extreme angle to lick upwards and make contact, or lick downward with the bottom of your tongue extremely slowly, which won't get anyone off.

It's a puzzlement.

It's not selfish- it's shellfish.

My girlfriend refuses to go there.

Sorry, R16. Only into the pole.

[quote]When you're 69ing, everything is reversed, and you either have to tuck your neck at an extreme angle to lick upwards and make contact, or lick downward with the bottom of your tongue extremely slowly, which won't get anyone off.

I never realized the challenges two women have. Well, at least you don't run the risk of cumming too soon. My cross to bear.

It's considered slutty to do it to a random girl.

Pyoo. Doesn't the inside of the pussy stink?

Serious questions(I can't make threads). What percentage of straight women do you think give blowjobs to their husbands? Do the more religious women still do this or is it a something they won't do?

I've always been fascinated by this.

Bisexuals are far more oral than heteros or lesbians. Bisexuals generally have oral fixations and are quite accomplished in the act.

Don't know why.

R22. Maybe their net has just been cast a bit wider.

I only give oral with a dental dam. And yes you can feel it. My girlfriend never cared for oral until I gave it to her with a dental dam. She was shocked how good it feels. Now it's on the menu.

R24,

I don't believe it!

R25 Simpleton, what's so hard to believe? Pleasure or safe sex?

Girls, you have to stop talking about having oral sex with each other. I'm a gay man, and I'm only know getting comfortable with two women kissing without tongue.

You just may be the reason that straights cannot accept gay people and think they're icky. Straight men are beginning to wrap their minds around two men together. The two-girl thing is grossing them out. Stop it.

R27,

Funny :)

I might even have to invoke the apropos Pope quote.

[quote]If it helps, it's not the cruelty of blue-clitting somebody that appeals to me, it's just the aspect of being "attended" to like pillow royalty.

BLUE-CLITTING? I love it.

"Pillow princesses" sound rather useless and unsexy.

It always reminds me of "dirty pillows" from Carrie.

Thoughts?:

As a straight man who trolls your boards (BECAUSE DATALOUNGE IS THE MOST FUCKIN' ENTERTAINING SHIT I'VE EVER COME ACROSS!!! KUDOS! I LOVE GAYS!)

I have never heard the term "pillow princess"! This is why I love this place!

I am laughing and thank you.

Yes, but they're not allowed at MichFest.

R33, Sorry to inform you but 30 to 40% of us are straight females.

I doubt that the straight women give head to their husbands but I really wouldn't be able to know. Maybe someone who's around straight women could answer.

R36, Why would you think that straight women don't give head to those who are very special to them?

R33. Don't pay attention to R35. The overwhelming majority of us on DL are gay men--so we're brothers under the skin, so to speak, with you.

And if you admit more than once that you're straight, then these gay DL bitches are gonna turn on you just like they did to that flaming homosexual parading as a heterosexual--Henry Cavill.

Just so you know, you've been warned.

R38, you have no way of knowing that the overwhelming majority of posters (or readers) on Datalounge are gay men.

You have absolutely no way of knowing that.

R39,

Someone does a poll here every few months. Not everyone answers, of course, but the poll seems to indicate something like 40% are gay men.

At least 75-80 percent of DL posters are gay men. This place is far too cynical, witty and bitchy for anyone else.

gimme a sweet kitkat any day...no stinky poop holes

Last "Who Are We" poll:

R41, Then why aren't all of DL's witty posters writing comedy scripts? Y'all (sp) need the money and I need to LOL.

I'm a straight woman. Ya'll have the best gossip I have ever come across. And I, also, just learned the term "Pillow Princess" today. And yes, I give my husband a BJ. And is it really true so many lesbians don't reciprocate? How do they then "qualify" (so to speak) as lesbian? I mean..I could be a Pillow Princess...but I wouldn't do it, cause I don't think it would be fair. Ya know?

Thanks R45. What percentage of wives would you say give blowjobs to their husbands? Do the 'proper' ones still do it? I need to know, please indulge me!!!

Do straight women enjoy giving a man head or is that only a gay male thing? What is the experience like for women?

For the straight gals: is it true you bargain blow jobs and anal for your men in return for trips to the Carribean, Marc Jacobs bags, and new kitchen appliances?

Yes, R48, it is true because we don't have any money or careers of our own.

You fucking idiot--go back to 1950 and stay there.

I'm the person who originally asked about the wife blowjobs. Please don't confuse me with the troll at R48.

Lezzy here. I have a longtime partner and we've been 69ing for 10 years and love it. I don't know what that other girl was talking about maybe you need to try yoga.

R45 here:

I can be the purveyor of knowledge? Awesome.

I haven't taken a poll, but I assume most straight women give their husbands blow jobs. I know my married female friends wouldn't hesitate. I'd actually be more surprised if it wasn't part of the normal routine..but, then again, perhaps I just hang with more "liberal" folk. . What I enjoy about it is seeing the pleasure on his face, making a big,strong, man be at my mercy, etc. In fact, I have to keep trying to train my husband to be more vocal. He is quiet quiet quiet...and I get more aroused (and therefore it gets better for him) if I hear him enjoying it and/or telling me what to do. I have actually had to say to him: "Hey, you gotta make some noise! I might think I am rockin' your world -- but as far as you are concerned I might as well be doing your taxes down there. Ya gotta grunt at least!"

I have to think that most x-gen and younger women do it routinely. As for our mothers and grandmothers... not so sure. Probably depends on where and how they were raised.

I think I answered all the questions. But I've had a bit of wine...so ya never know.

Leave it to a gay man to derail this thread.

Thanks, Housewife. Great info. Yes, I've wondered about the older generations.

And of any age, I've wondered about the Christian and/or more conservative women. Do you think they do it?

Also, do you think the wives allow for the husband to cum and their mouths, and do they swallow?

Sorry I don't know how to quote yet. Just found this site 2 days ago.

R45 again:

I actually don't think religion (except maybe in the stricter South) has much to do with it anymore. I consider myself Christian, and, have done many rights as a Catholic (then married a Baptist..).

The church is changing all the time. Some of the most dedicated religious people I know are gay/lesbian and/or I KNOW they aren't shy in the bedroom.

I don't want to get into a religious discussion -- cause we all know where that will lead... ...but my point is that I think it is again, dependent upon age and where/how you grew up (meaning part of the country).

Thanks. So it sounds like most wives give head.

Am I feeding a troll if I respond to R55...or is it a legitimate question?

R57 I think so. But, again, I might just hang out with the "right" people.

A lot of these young christians and mormons get around abstinence by having oral sex, which they don't consider real sex. It's pretty hilarious. Other kids have oral sex in lieu of vaginal sex to remove the risk of pregnancy. I really don't think political or religious affiliation makes much of a difference whether people engage in oral sex anymore. At this point, it is so mainstream to be expected, IMO.

Honey, you really must be new to Datalounge if you think that's abnormal talk around here. People are very open here, you'll soon see.

Housewife at R58,

The former of your two options.

A lot of times during oral sex, people are unsatisfied if they aren't allow to ejaculate when their partner is still going to town. Either sex.

I am very open. I talk about anything. But I don't want to feed a troll. So feel free to clue me in if I do.

I think it's just candid sex talk.

Just a Housewife, I was curious because there is the idea that gay men are sluts for everything sexual they do like oral sex, swallowing, etc.. Just wondering how it is 'on the other side of the pond' so to speak.

The wives probably suck it a little, but don't allow for the husband to explode in their mouth and definitely don't swallow.

If someone is the love of your life, i don't see why there would be sexual inhibitions like with oral, or sexual positions.

r68 love and sex are two different things.

I hate sucking dick but love going to town on a hot (and fully shaved) pussy.

R69, do you think people can be in love and choose not to be sexually intimate? Doesn't love open up the doors to sexual intimacy? I'm interested in what you think about this.

Penises are evil and scary. I learned this from a college professor.

I don't get why anyone would want to be with someone who won't go down on them - gay straight or lesbian.

R66 Kinda confused about the "all gay men are sluts" thing. I mean, I know some people have that perception -- but it isn't universal. In fact if I think of the most enduring relationships I know of, in my circle of friends, the longest ones are gay men.

But if you are asking if heteros are sluts too. Sure. I don't think it matters what gender you are or prefer -- you either have slut tendencies or you don't. The sluts just talk about it more.

All the answers here are valid - I've heard them all over time. I'm bi but mostly straight. A Craigslist ad I answered years ago said she only likes to give in bed, not receive. I told her I didn't think that was fair. We never met up.

Reason I think I'm more straight than bi is because my fantasies are not about another woman's poontang and more about the boobs and overall body. (I have a fear that pleasing a woman would take too long and I'd get bored - men are so much easier.) On another board a few years ago, I was called a pillow princess when I admitted this. Very reasonably, the lesbians were disappointed by my attitude.

So do women give head to their men? Also, do they swallow?

You gotta qualify those questions by region, generation, religious views, how well their relationship is going, how damaged they are / how much they use sex as leverage, etc. 20 yrs ago I knew a white woman dating an Arab. She was glad he didn't believe in oral sex because it got her off the hook for it. I'm Gen-X (39) and my friends have been across the board. Some friends consider it an absolute expectation, some will never do it period and think it's gross. I'm in the middle. I have one friend who connived her husband into having sex with her 6 years ago to make a second baby and he did it but complained that he was being used for stud services (she doesn't have sex with him - 20+ yr relationship where he cheats). Some friends have babies and lose all interest in sex, finding excuses to get out of the drudgery. Most LTRs have at least some problems, including some guys not getting laid at all, let alone head, for years on end, but some people still like giving head.

I personally don't like the expectation of giving oral, because in my generation, I always encountered guys who didn't recip but expected it. It made me feel icky and used, like it was a job. But when I found someone I truly loved, I became a cockgobbler (I'm not a prude but no way would I say that word IRL!). He's never asked me to do it, and I surprise him with head regularly. I don't swallow usually - I want that erection inside me before it fizzles out. I generally consider head to be long foreplay. I do not use sex as leverage, but I have a sexually and emotionally giving partner. Some women frustratedly (or angrily, or passive aggressively...) use withholding as their only means of coping/working through relationship problems. I'm not sure how great their relationships are! I don't think it's withholding if the guy has been a jerk to his partner and later she is not aroused by him or the idea of sex. They have unresolved issues and should address those. Cockgobbling is likely to follow when a woman feels good in her relationship. I sometimes deny a lazy morning of sex if we have a lot of yardwork or something, because we can fuck away a whole day if we laze around.

vfhgfddshrtsjtyuk

Dear R71, I'm not R69, but in a word, yes. For many reasons. But I think that's playing with fire.

One excellent way to keep a relationship good (along with emotional intimacy and having fun together) is with regular, healthy sex. It just increases your enjoyment and closeness with the other. Without? It can become more of a friendship, more intellectual, less connected and supportive. There is something to regularly giving your partner pleasure and receiving it, that holds a nice bond between two people who could otherwise get busy with life and disconnect from each other. In my personal relationship, sex is crucial.

I've heard of lesbian deathbed (not enough testosterone to initiate it over time!). If it works for them, good for them. I wonder how I would make it through the deep valleys within my relationship without infusions of pleasure to lighten our load.

We are in bodies and are supposed to be having a physical experience. It feels unnatural to shun an entire aspect of physicality, particularly with all the benefits sex brings to life, whether you're gay, straight, religious or atheist. I have serious doubt about longterm relationship health that is non-physical. You could do other pleasing things like massage and lots of physical affection, at minimum. But sex should be in there sometimes too.

Thanks Housewife for the answer about blowjobs. I agree with your code, that the goods should only be for someone we truly love. It is very selfish for those guys to not reciprocate. If people are in love the sex will follow and nobody will feel used.

R77, lesbian bed death is a lot of pseudo-Freudian nonsense. Some longterm couples have more sex than others, regardless of gender. In any case, I've been with my partner for 14 years and we both love cunnilingus, giving and receiving. "Pillow Princesses" might also be a (sub)culture-specific phenomenon- I'd never heard about them in my country.

Me for one. I can barely get my tongue to form words after all the lifts and drifts.

Gay woman here, on the subject of 69ing. I concur with the "neck straining" poster. I'm a foot taller than my partner, and getting our bits aligned and moving together is a physical feat of gargantuon proportions. We're both in great physical shape but I can fold like a contorted accordion for only so long.

How vivid!

Another dyke here. I think it must depend on proportions. I had a girlfriend who was around 11 inches taller than me and 69 was one of our favourite positions, preferably followed by a long, hot snog.

I always got terribly bored with oral sex. Bored. Bored. Bored. I'm a straight female.

I am what you called a "pillow princess" have been in a relationship with my Partner for almost a year now and never had to Perform oral sex. Its not that i don't like it, i just never felt the need to do It

Damn am really being educated today, and I've been posting here for 3 years. I"m a straight chick, and the ONLY thing which has kept me from being with another woman is the proposition of giving oral. I just am not the crazy about pussies...even my own. I love giving men head though and I think women are sexy as hell.

Maybe I'll have to give this a bit more thought.

Just a thought, R86, from a gay male (and what do I know). You're already overthinking it. Sounds like you're, um, one of those heterosexuals, born and bred. There's a difference between finding beautiful and/or charming women sexy (which lots of gay men do) and wanting to fuck them (which lots of gay men don't). If you're into pole, the hole not so much, you're either a straight woman or a gay man, it's all in the wiring. Enjoy!

(And I'm not ignoring our trans brethren, for whom this all has additional complications, but if we go there the whole thread will spin off wildly in a new direction, this being DL and all.)

I exclusively scissor with my partner.

I'm a straight married woman. It is normal among my peers to give bjs (because we enjoy doing it)and some swallow, some don't-it is really a personal preference. I don't think I have ever meet a woman who has told me she doesn't. Girls talk about sex A LOT.

Something that sucks about the dating situation for a straight girl is that guys expect it, but have no intention of giving it. Basically, you expect not to get oral sex when you take a guy home. Either they are too lazy or not confident enough to do it, but in either case they know they can just get away without contributing.

I have to say that is one of the many great things when being in a long term relationship as one night stands are often dissappointing in that fashion and foreplay in general. Straight guys are lazy.

Butch lesbians are notorious for not wanting to lick pussy, preferring instead to use their big "butch cocks" that they purchase from Amazon.com in a discreet plain brown box. Of course, they have little or no problem with lying back on their lazy boi and getting some head. In fact, most prefer it.

Nothing worse than attempting oral on someone who's nethers look like the Black Forest. You spend more time picking hair from your teeth than performing. And talk about hairballs post-act!

Also find it rather odd that men are happy to empty their load in my mouth. But refuse a hot, erotic load-exchanging kiss after.

OP, they take turns reading "SCUM Manifesto", then split a pan of fudge.

This is so lame! 69ing neck strain????? I stab my wife's lady ham with my tongue fully out and erect multiple times like I'm literally banging my head in that hole!!! Nose in ass, chin on clit..it's a fight to the death!!! and you complain of neck pain... I would never ever fuck you much less 69!

My god, this place sucks anymore.

R90 Butch lesbians scare me.

I suppose I am what you have all been referring to as a pillow princess as well.

Pertaining to the post about how if you like the pole and not the hole you are either a straight female or a gay male...I beg to differ. I have always been attracted to women and closeted my feelings (even to myself) for a long time due to being born and raise Catholic. But even after I came out as bisexual to my friends, some of my family and especially myself, I was still afraid to eat pussy. I was mostly afraid of not being any good at it. Since I dated men on the regular, I never had the need nor opportunity to learn how to properly perform oral on a woman, henceforth I self proclaimed myself an "above the belt bisexual". This term coming into usage mainly because any woman I liked enough to kiss or fool around with I didn't enter into a relationship, therefore it didn't lead to oral. You also have to consider the other outside factors, however. It was hard for me to enter into relationships with girls because I was hardwired to desire the cookie cutter marriage with a husband, kids, a dog and a white picket fenced house. (you get the picture) My turning point sexually was thinking about it in this sense. I don't know all the necessarily correct terminology, but there are gay men who only pitch and only catch. I can only assume that almost all men (gay and straight alike) enjoy oral aside from the few who have had horrible, scarring experiences. In this mind set I figured there must be lesbians out there who only like to receive oral, and those who only like to give. I am currently in a casual...relationship...thing with a gold star lesbian. She has received oral in the past. It was not a horrifying experience, but it was not her cup of tea so to speak. She does, however, love Love LOVE giving oral. And man oh man, she does it well. Sorry about my ramble, but my side point is this. I have always considered myself bi because I couldn't see myself being 100% sexually satisfied by a woman and couldn't see myself getting over the fear of judgement from my family. The girl I am casual with, however, is the only female I have ever been involved with that has honestly made me consider living the rest of my life as a full blown lesbian. That situation has made me realize that you can like women in general and end up finding the one that actually causes you to shift your sexual orientation further in a certain direction. As a pleasant side note, in the seven years since I have been sexually active, I have only gotten off during intercourse maybe 7 times. Oral is how I receive my jollies. I summation I would have to say that while some conclusions can be drawn by stereotypical behaviors, EVERYTHING has its exceptions. While I might be a pillow princess, I am not selfish. I would only be in a relationship with a woman whose sexual desires coincide with my own. Personally I believe most people do this, at least initially. Some hide certain desires out of fear or shame, others just prioritize some as non-negotiable deal breakers if they don't get certain sexual acts out of a relationship. If everyone honestly stayed true to what they want out of sex, people would end up with significant others who can sustain a long healthy sex life well into the later years of their relationship without feeling like they have to sacrifice sexual acts that they enjoy.

R96 so don't you date or sleep with men who love to give oral sex?

Bisexual woman here. Love to give and receive oral with a woman, but I don’t enjoy blowjobs at all and consider it a chore. Also, in my experience, not many men are good at reciprocating.

They're not R98? I have hetero men as friends who tell me how they love to eat pussy and lick a clit. Some have told me how they see giving a woman oral sex to be a chore or only do it if they know they will get sucked or get to fuck some wet pussy and cum in it.

Happily married (11yrs) straight Christian dude here, Saw the responses asking about married straight women (especially religious ones) giving BJ’s. We have 4 kids, in our early 30’s.

My wife gives blowjobs that are out of this world. It’s a frequent part of our foreplay, and often how she’ll choose to “finish me off” if it’s a more endurance filled evening. She swallows most of the time (her choice where I cum), and tells me she loves it. I try to give her a heads up so she can take a breath first and also not get blasted in the face / hair. I love performing oral on her as well, and have a tongue that can stick out past my chin. 69 is one of my favorite positions, and I often ask her to sit on my face, but she also prefers for my tongue to stick to the lady region, even though I’d gladly lick anything of hers. :$

Can’t say I know any straight/married couples who don’t participate in oral. If you love someone, why wouldn’t you enjoy putting them in your mouth. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Lesbians who won't do oral sex? That seems pretty strange. So what sex acts DO they do? Mutual masturbation? Getting fucked in the cunt and ass with sex toys (why not get a boyfriend then, if that's what you're into)? Scissoring? That seems to be all that's possible for a lesbo. I always thought that cunt eating was THE sex act for lesbians.

Fuck off, R15.

I love giving blow jobs -- but only when I am really attracted to the person both physically and emotionally.

If it is a one-night-stand situation, I don't like it. Giving or receiving, it feels too intimate. I learned at some point, that I always wake up the next day feeling bad and ashamed. Penetration is great, but for me, oral is for lovers only. So if I like the person a whole lot and we are "going steady" I feel connected, and then it's really satisfying and fun to suck a mean dick. It gets me hot. And all the moaning makes it even hotter.

In terms of swallowing though...has anyone else noticed that everyone's cum tastes different? I was with someone for years, whom I loved very much, but I would gag on his cum when I swallowed. It was very bitter and astringent. My last boyfriend's cum, however, was mild, pleasant, and smooth, and I swallowed with joy and zeal!

Straight woman here. I never knew how much I enjoyed giving a blow job until I dumped my husband and got me a real man. I became completely uninhibited and in love with his cock. He was so appreciative; his former wife only sucked on special occasions.

I can go and go and go and swallow. Yum ! Not kidding . My years of being the good girl are so over. I love being the bad girl.

If only I were a guy, I could show you.....

Sucking a cock is only fun if the guy is uncut. Cut cocks are boring. Sorry.