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Sonic Youth's Kim Gordon on why she and Thurston Moore split up after 28 years of marriage

How sadly banal!


"We seemed to have a normal relationship inside of a crazy world," Gordon says of her marriage. "And in fact, it ended in a kind of normal way—midlife crisis, starstruck woman."

Some years ago, a woman Gordon declines to name became a part of the Sonic Youth world, first as the girlfriend of an erstwhile band member and later as a partner on a literary project with Moore. Eventually, Gordon discovered a text message and confronted him about having an affair. They went to counseling, but he kept seeing the other woman. "We never got to the point where we could just get rid of her so I could decide what I wanted to do," Gordon says. "Thurston was carrying on this whole double life with her. He was really like a lost soul."

by Anonymousreply 3802/27/2015

Who? Did I stumble into an old folk's home? Your record's skipping, Gramps!

by Anonymousreply 104/23/2013

Oh, R1, what a *clever* child you are!

by Anonymousreply 204/23/2013

I guess we all know Goo's secret now.

by Anonymousreply 304/23/2013

Well, I hope she dumped him at the point where he refused to give up the other woman. I too had an ex - we had been together 14 years - who cheated on me and wanted to go to counseling to save the relationship but refused to give up the affair partner.

I walked at that point. I have grieved and it has been hard, but I have never regretted walking. If someone is so cowardly they have one foot in and one foot out, there is no point to forgiving something as serious as cheating; it would be like an extra slap in the face and a total mind fuck.

by Anonymousreply 404/23/2013

Their music just sounded like noise to me. Hated them but the Italian guy in the band is hot and possibly gay.

by Anonymousreply 504/23/2013

R5, check out their version of Superstar,from The Carpenters tribute. Very beautiful,haunting.

by Anonymousreply 604/23/2013

go listen to Katy Perry and Justin Beiber, R1

by Anonymousreply 704/23/2013

I liked Kool Thing.

by Anonymousreply 804/23/2013

[quote]check out their version of Superstar,from The Carpenters tribute. Very beautiful,haunting.

Gross. They took all the melody out of the song and made it as droning as most of the rest of their material.

by Anonymousreply 904/23/2013

[quote]I too had an ex - we had been together 14 years - who cheated on me and wanted to go to counseling to save the relationship but refused to give up the affair partner.

I'm sorry about that, R4. That feels like such a strange--but all too common--request. Did they want an open relationship instead? Or maybe something polyamorous?

by Anonymousreply 1004/23/2013

I never even knew they were married until I heard they got divorced. I never much cared for Thurston, but Kim is one of the greats and an inspiration. Hope she's OK.

by Anonymousreply 1104/23/2013

I had the requisite Daydream Nation poster up on my wall, but the only Sonic Youth song I ever really liked was Dirty Boots.

by Anonymousreply 1204/23/2013

I don't understand that logic. You recognize you are doing wrong so you go to save the relationship..but then you don't give up the other person? I can't wrap my brain around that one.

by Anonymousreply 1304/23/2013

No, my partner wanted to remain in contact with the affair partner as "friends at the very least". I guess with me tolerating a semi-affair while we tried to work things out??? I balked (thank god). That was my wake-up call (the cheating should have been, really - but at least I had *some* kind of internal boundary).

The irony is that my ex remains angry (furious, even) at me to this day for walking out of the relationship at that point, implying that I was the one who gave up on it after 14 and a half years. I heard through the grapevine that my ex ended up in a relationship with the affair partner for the next 4 years, most of it long-distance. I have been pretty much no-contact since we broke up. I'm over my ex, but not over my rebound guy, go figure (probably because I projected my lost love of 14 years onto the rebound guy, but that's something I'm trying to work out for myself at the moment).

So although I sometimes find Sonic Youth a little pretentious, I have to say I feel for Kim Gordon in this situation. It would have been worse if she had stayed trying to work it out with a "confused" man, as her self-esteem plummeted and the headfuckery grew worse.

Typing this out has been quite therapeutic (yes, I should get a blog) - I realize that I did the right thing by cutting off and bailing when I did. It would have been so much more painful otherwise and it probably would have ended exactly the same way.

by Anonymousreply 1404/23/2013

She sounds fine, R11, but recently survived a bout with breast cancer. When shit happens in life, it not only rains, it pours! Or at least it seems that way.

by Anonymousreply 1504/23/2013

Much entertaining speculation on the thread below as to who the other woman might be. Best comment: "This is the hipster 'Who Shot JR?"

Most seem to be saying that it's a woman named Eva Prinz, but there is disagreement.

by Anonymousreply 1604/23/2013

Sorry, correct link is below.

by Anonymousreply 1704/23/2013

It's totally Eva, R16. Google her name and the images that come up are her and Thurston acting like ridiculous schoolkids... and one VERY awkward picture of her and Kim.

Apparently, she is a self-proclaimed "provocateur." Indeed.

by Anonymousreply 1804/23/2013


by Anonymousreply 1904/23/2013

The girlfriend looks like a manic pixie dream girl. Bleh.

by Anonymousreply 2004/23/2013

I wonder if they're still together? Bitch has crazy eyes.

by Anonymousreply 2112/05/2014

Who came up with the phrase 'manic pixie dream girl' and why has it stuck? Was it named for Natalie Portman's character in Garden State? And yes, I agree that this Eva girl fits the description. Yuck.

Can someone tell me more about GORGEOUS Lee Ranaldo supposedly being gay? I've never heard that. He is fucking dreamy, even now. He does this semi-windmill guitar strum in their video for "Superstar" right when the chorus comes the first time, and it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in a music video.

by Anonymousreply 2212/05/2014

Maybe they split up because Kim looked like she was 40 when she was 30 and Thurston looked like he was 20 when he was 30.

You get the face you deserve, and Kim has looked like an elderly bag for decades.

by Anonymousreply 2312/05/2014

That's true, R23, but Thurston was no looker himself. Gordon is actually an attractive woman, but she's always been thin, and you know how that goes. They were also together for a REALLY LONG TIME, and monogamy, as I hope we all know, isn't exactly natural. Most relationships have an expiration date.

by Anonymousreply 2412/05/2014

while i sympathize with the posters who say their music was droning noise (much of it was), when they actually inserted hooks and melodies in their songs, they could create magic.

by Anonymousreply 2512/05/2014

The "other woman" has an interesting past.

by Anonymousreply 2612/05/2014

Who cares! Thurston's cute, his girlfriend's cute, let 'em fuck, what are they doing to you.

Based on her reputation alone, Kim could be getting DP'd and her remaining titty sucked by hot 20-year-olds every night. She should just go for it instead of playing the victim for women's mags.

Chrissie Hynde is all over the young dick. THAT's indie.

by Anonymousreply 2712/05/2014

[quote] He does this semi-windmill guitar strum in their video for "Superstar" right when the chorus comes the first time, and it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in a music video.


by Anonymousreply 2812/05/2014

They both didn't exactly seem "fun."

Sonic Youth? I get why people love them or hate them or are indifferent.

by Anonymousreply 2912/05/2014

Even this doesn't make her interesting. It's as if she thinks hers is the first marriage to break up.

by Anonymousreply 3012/06/2014

This was my favorite song of their. RIP!

by Anonymousreply 3112/06/2014

I love her voice.

"Tunic" is one of the best scary-campy-sad songs ever.

by Anonymousreply 3212/06/2014

Kim Gordon backed the wrong horse if she expected Moore to eventually grow out of being 'a rock star' and to age gracefully alongside her. In some of those shots of him with Eva Prinz he is dicking about like a 21 year old high on newly found fame. She should have married Joe Schmo, accountant, if she wanted a loyal homebody type.

by Anonymousreply 3312/06/2014

I'm surprised to hear Thurston described here as cute. He is one of the few ugly people out there.

by Anonymousreply 3412/06/2014

R25 that song is pretty good (not "magic") but the whole aren't-we-hip video is a turnoff. R33 is right - she should have gone for an accountant.

by Anonymousreply 3512/06/2014

Eva has a major case of crazy eyes and she seems extremely insufferable. Karma will come to Thurston eventually.

by Anonymousreply 3612/06/2014

The reviews of Kim's books are pretty good. I can't wait to read it.

by Anonymousreply 3702/27/2015

Gilmore Girls curse

by Anonymousreply 3802/27/2015
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