From your observation, at what age do most men and women lose their looks?

Totally depends on the person. Some people's features suite youth and some people's features suite age imo.

By in real life do you mean to check out or to hook up with?

About 40.

By 35 definitively. Men can hang on till 40 if they work out and eat right. After 40 the teeth are yellow, and the stomach bulges, the hair on their head is now in their ears, they don't wash properly and they fart.

R1, to check out. I know hook up would be at any age...since there are people who will do anything for money.

From what the deranged DL elderqueens say, they never lose their looks because 20 year olds are constantly cruising them.

I know plenty of twenty-somethings that fart and don't wash properly.

Personally speaking 50 is when things start to go downhill. The body gets soft, the eyes get old looking, just not the same person anymore.

Well, I'm 48 but I look 23!

It's happening to me now.

30 to 40. Depending on genetics, lifestyle, and state of health.

Unless you're black. For them, it would be 60.

16

My African American and Asian contemporaries look great. I (Irish) look ten years older than they do.

It's 50.

Anyone not yet 50 has a bit of a nasty surprise in store. Better get your head straight, because this even will test you.

Thanks, r13. I'm 47 but have been told I look 28. Seriously. So if I keep on this path, I won't start losing my looks like I turn 69. Thank the lawd for great genetics.

Mid 50s.

My sister and I were looking at family photos of a 4th of July BBQ she had taken over the years. When my parents and aunts and uncles were in their late 30s and their 40s, they looked basically the same. But in their mid 50s, it changed. They were no longer young. Their faces changed and their bodies changed.

I'm 48 but people say I look a lot younger. Of course I'm petite but I got my Dad's skin and he's very smooth and unwrinkled for his age. I don't have any crows feet yet. The only thing I've really noticed is a softening of the chin and jaw, which pisses me off to no end. I also have rosacea so I tend towards pinkness a lot. All in all I look good for my age.

14

I"m 41 and I got carded the other night, but the lighting was dim in the bar. forget about aging. if you're smiling and happy, you'll look way younger. people obsess, it just makes them look and feel older.

For me, it will probably be around 50 as well. I've noticed the softness in the jaw and the drooping above the eye.

I know I can get it "fixed" and I would like to but it just seems like such a waste of money. Has anyone had it done? How long does it take? How painful is it?

"I"m 41 and I got carded the other night..."

r18 neglected to mention that what they had asked him for was his AARP card.

Totally depends on the person and genetics.

My ex is 57 and still gets hit on all the time. He's a silver fox John Slattery type and just looks great.

Whereas a good friend of mine was the prettiest boy I had ever met when we were 22. Guys fell over themselves around him.

But now, at 40, he looks like complete shit I hate to say. Much of it probably has to do with his diet and lifestyle - the guy still smokes and parties about 4 times a week. But his type of prettiness in general doesn't age well.

Women get the shit end of the stick. Around 35 they're considered old. Though that is mostly an American perception. I think French women are fucking gorgeous, especially as they get older (Deneuve, Binoche, Huppert).

I'm a she, R20.

There will be a big slide at 50, regardless of how you look. Doesn't mean you won't be attractive, there will just be pretty amazing changes.

I think extra weight makes people look old and frumpy. being thinner helps a lot.

Black don't crack. I'm 48 and people think I'm in my thirties.

I believe it, R23. I only hope I don't really care anymore at that point.

I think women look better with a LITTLE weight. Too thin and they look gaunt and haggard.

r6 --

"I know plenty of twenty-somethings that fart and don't wash properly."

Use "who," dear.

"I know plenty of twenty-somethings WHO fart and don't wash properly."

Pop quiz tomorrow, you ignorant bloody git!

Agree, r27. Too think and they look like death gnawing on a cracker.

Are you ready to just stop having sex at 50, r26? I'm in my late 40's and would like to still be sexually active in my 50's.

"After 40 the teeth are yellow, and the stomach bulges, the hair on their head is now in their ears, they don't wash properly and they fart"

Not sure why you connect middle aged guys with not washing properly. If anything, the younger guys I've known tend to be more lax about hygiene than most older guys.

I think it really depends on the person. Harrison Ford is like 70 but if he walked up to me on the street and made a pass at me I would go for it!

no, I'm not ready to stop having sex. guess I'll have to diet and dress up forever ;)

did you see Halle Berry's body at the Oscars? she's in her late forties, isn't she? it's a different landscape now. if you pamper yourself, you can look good for a lot longer. not forever, though.

r32, I know you had me in mind when you posted that.

"did you see Halle Berry's body at the Oscars? she's in her late forties, isn't she? it's a different landscape now. if you pamper yourself, you can look good for a lot longer. not forever, though"

Yeah, I disagree with the poster who said women lose their looks at 35. It depends on the woman. Some women start to look haggard in their 20s if they bake in the sun and do drugs or booze it up a lot (look at Lindsay Lohan) but others can look "hot" well into middle age. I know lots of young straight guys who think Sofia Vergara and Halle Berry are hot and they are middle aged women.

I did, Joan, you are fucking fabulous! ;)

For me it was 60. Even as a smoker, I held on, thanks mostly to my genes. I had a square jaw, angular face, and high cheekbones. But now my face is melting into my neck and there's not a damned thing I can do about it. Except accept it.

and Cate Blanchett and women like that. lots of beauties who are older. i think it's sexy. it's just a different buzz from being a 20-something, but it's not bad.

I'm going to ignore all the celebrity examples and just focus on real life for the OP... For most people it's the mid to late 40s when the eyes and neck start a downward decline. You can keep a fit body with exercise, and hair is completely dependent on genetics rather than age. But eyes and neck are really the 2 spots where people show their age. And there is very little to be done about either of those areas.

Great question, OP.

For many, it all depends on many attributes: genetics, environment and living a healthy lifestyle. I was lucky to have great genetics, an easy-breezy life and the will and passion to take care of myself.

I'm 58 but get confused for 19 all the time; all the time. But, lately I have been getting confused for 8.

Yesterday, I went out to lunch with a 25 year old co-worker of mine. While we were at the restaurant, this woman, who was an old associate of my co-worker friend comes over to our table to say hello to her old colleague. She then introduced herself to me and asked her friend if I was her son. I said, "Yes". She asked me what grade I was in and I said, "Third". She said she couldn't believe how much I have grown and she remembers just like yesterday when my friend was getting ready for maternity leave. My friend and I laughed about it after the woman left. I told her, "I get confused for being a teen or toddler all the time. And, that's because I work out seven days a week, eat healthy, don't smoke or drink, use Regenerist, get deep glycolic peels that burn off 7 layers of my skin five days a week, and I use L'OReal Sublime Bronze with SPF 30."

So, if you ask this question because you looked in the mirror this morning, OP, and didn't like what you saw, I'm sorry. Time goes by so fast. I'll get there one day. But, I'm only 8, so I have a very, very long time before I do.

Peace.

12 years old

It is a well-known fact by one and all that women enter their "Bagdom" at age 50.

Men can be attractive at any age. You just take Mr. Cary Grant. He's in his '80s and he can have any woman he wants. Point out one woman who can do the same, and don't say Joan Collins. That woman belongs in a wax museum.

It's very hard to keep the weight off after 40. Your body wants to collect fat for the coming bad years. Gravity pulls the fat down and you start looking jowly. Bone mass starts waning and your face/skeleton shrinks.

But with all that, it's finally just genetics whether you look cute/older or fugly/older.

Whoever is saying fifties is nuts! Your fifties are when both men and women start to feel comfortable with themselves and with life. That happiness radiates from within--let it out, people!

Wise fifty-year olds attract younger folks who need consoling and encouragment. Being smarter and more compassionate makes you attractive.

Still, work out, eat right, and absolutely NO ALCOHOL!

Booze will kill your looks.

[quote]I think it really depends on the person. Harrison Ford is like 70 but if he walked up to me on the street and made a pass at me I would go for it!

If George W Bush made a pass at you, you'd go for it.

It really does "Depends" on the person.

don't drink, don't smoke. don't drink, don't smoke. don't drink, don't smoke. don't drink, don't smoke.

Fifty is hitting a brick wall hard. For both. Just wait boys.

I agree that it depends on the person. Some people look better when they get older, and vice versa. But even people who age well tend to lose their looks around mid-50s. My ex looked great until he hit 55, then each year thereafter he lost his looks more and more. He still thinks he looks like he's in his 40s. He looks like he's in his 50s, but he's early 60s so that's good IMO.

[quote]You just take Mr. Cary Grant. He's in his '80s and he can have any woman he wants.

OH, MY SIDES!!!!!!

At my 20 year high school reunion, I was astounded at how awful all the men looked while the women looked fabulous.

Whatever with the looks.

All I know is that men over 50 are damn good in bed.

It really is based on race, genetic and lifestyle choices (duh!) but in general:

Caucasian women - 40-43 Black women - 50s I guess. I know a grandmother in her 60s who look like she can pass for a late 40s/early50s Asian women - same as white women 40-43; unfortunately, they look much more haggard and nothing like their young self

Caucasian men - mid 40s to 50s Black men - same as black women; they age gracefully Asian men - 40s; most tend to be very thin and so they look even more gaunt

[quote]Whoever is saying fifties is nuts! Your fifties are when both men and women start to feel comfortable with themselves and with life. That happiness radiates from within--let it out, people!

What you feel is different than how you look. There are very few people who are attractive in their 50s.

My theory on beautiful asians and their accelerated aging is this: we actually need sun on our faces. I know it sounds counter intuitive, but sunlight keeps you young and fresh.

This thing that asian women have with walking around with umbrellas hiding from the sunlight is not a great practice.

Also, we are not supposed to be eating pork. Asians live on pork.

43. Seriously. It doesn't mean you are unattractive after that, but that's when your face starts to use its youthful elasticity and fat padding. That's why so many middle-aged women start in with the cheek implants that make them look like chipmunks.

And all you people who are older than that claiming you get mistaken for being younger than you are, the people who are doing that are just being nice and/or have absolutely no frame of reference for what someone your age looks like.

I look my age. I accept that. But what I refuse to do, is to get treatments that will only make me look like an old fart who has had treatments.

Plastic surgery and botox just isn't workin' it for most cases. I'm starting to get embarrassed for people.

I would say white men look lose their looks faster than any other group. So many of them look like shit by their early 30's. If they're lucky and they take care of their looks (don't smoke, stay out of the sun, etc), then they might be able to keep their looks until their early 40's, but even the ones who take care of themselves seem to look like shit by 45. Not all of them, but a lot.

This is one advantage to being unattractive: you have no looks to lose.

Don't laugh. I work in a very large office, and I have a very large family. So, I observe people. I've discovered, if a person takes care of themselves, and I'm not talking about extreme measures, you can hold on to your looks until about mid-60's.

You will be an older version of yourself, but you will look really good. After about 65, most people start to fall apart, with rare exceptions.

What difference does it make?

Looking your age or losing your looks are two different categories. Some people look their best after 50. They have the money and the wisdom to figure out what works best for them. The fifth and sixth decade are when some people hit their peak overall. For some it is in their 20s. The latter is the cruel fate. Depends on the individual. Some people figure out the way to be untouchable.

Men are at their hairiest on their 58th birthday – not a day before and not a day after!

No exceptions!

Life can step in. Like when you lose a partner - people age overnight. Really fit, non-neurotic older people can be hot, if they're enjoying it. Eating animals (G*R*O*S*S*), lack of morning sun, lack of self-investigation (bearing a heavy load), will shut your ass DOWN.

Wow, R64 has some great insights. You sound like a very cool person.

I basically agree with what most others are saying, 50s for white people, 60s for people of color.

The primary thing that ages you is your skins interaction with the sun, people with more melanin in their skin are less affected by it.

R60=IS 60, and no, he ain't lookin' good.

R19 I had my eyes "done" at age 50. My eyelids weren't terribly droopy yet and the bags weren't as bad as Chris Noth pre-surgery but I didn't want to wait until they were so bad that it would be obvious. I think picking the right doctor is imperative. Mine was a board certified ophthalmologist who only did eyes and he was conservative. Surgery was no biggie, twilight anesthesia and about a week recovering. The scars took about a year to completely heal (slight pink line). I also had my teeth capped (8 on top, 8 on the bottom). As some one mentioned yellowing teeth make you look old. I had a bridge in the front from a childhood accident and my dentist talked me into getting the crowns. I get compliments on my smile all the time. Don't get them too white or they look fake. I also get my forehead Botoxed every 3 months to decrease the lines, not enough to make it look frozen like Marcia Cross.

I have 4 sisters who emphasized how important it was to use a good moisturizer and eye cream and I have for over 30 years. As some one mentioned the neck area can really show your age. I use a product called Nectifirm which has some pretty amazing before/after pictures (see link) and the same company (Revision) makes a great eye cream which helps with dark circles and has peptides to thicken the skin (Teamine Eye Cream).

"I know it sounds counter intuitive, but sunlight keeps you young and fresh."

Nope. Ask any dermatologist.

Men start losing their looks about 50 Women about 45

Men getting older is natural in our society. Women are tossed out like garbage.

Question: I'm 30 and right now I have no lines around my eyes, but I have several samples of eye cream that I haven't used yet because 1) I don't need them yet and 2) I'm too lazy to use it. So my question is do you think that eye creams really work and do you think they are good at preventing lines?

[quote]Men getting older is natural in our society. Women are tossed out like garbage.

Unless you're a gay man. They get tossed out like garbage even earlier than women.

It's sad R73. I don't disagree.

More and more reason women and gay men need to develop their personalities and not be reliant on beauty. It always fades - on the outside.

Well, ya know, when you focus on others you don't have time to worry about your looks so much.

I cannot be attracted to an outwardly beautiful person with a shitty personality. Personality is half, or three-quarters of it for me. But then again, I am an older person.

It is not some hackneyed cliche that your inner beauty (or ugly) will come out and reveal itself.

"Men can be attractive at any age."

Not really. For every Cary Grant there are millions of men who look like shit. Plus, Grant didn't really "look" that great when he was old. All the older male movie stars (Redford, DeNiro, Hoffman, Nicholson, Clooney, etc.) don't look any better than actresses their age. They look like old men which is what they should look like.

[quote]43. Seriously. It doesn't mean you are unattractive after that, but that's when your face starts to use its youthful elasticity and fat padding. . . . [bold]And all you people who are older than that claiming you get mistaken for being younger than you are, the people who are doing that are just being nice and/or have absolutely no frame of reference for what someone your age looks like.[/bold]

What a crock.

Every single time this discussion comes up -- without fail -- some little Miss Know-it-All swoops in and declares with absolute, unfailing certitude that NO ONE -- absolutely NO ONE -- over 40 looks younger than their age. Without exception. Because she knows what all you anonymous people look like.

Bitch, please.

Sure, most people look their age; some look older. But I'd wager that most of us have known a few people who have managed to escape the ravages of time fairly unscathed. Not many, but some.

So, cut the crap with the "all you people."

I would suck 51 yo Dylan McDermott dry!

I don't know about 40 being the age. I will say that 40 is when every year is a vandal! Still, I stay out of the sun, don't smoke and haven't had a drink since I was 24 (I'm 49 now), and I am not haggard at all, but clearly not 32 either. Happily, my weight has rarely fluctuated more than 10 pounds as an adult. The need or even desire to be the great beauty or mad sexual Olympian leaves us gradually and gracefully usually. Having more peace and dignity sure helps me feel young!

Thanks, Lou.

From my personal observation, the men I'm most hot for GAIN their looks at 35.

Poor, deluded R77 thinks he's the one exception to the rule because a near-sighted twink once thought he was 58 instead of his true age, 67.

25 or so usually

for women I think it is early to mid 40s because their bodies start to go through hormonal changes as they enter menopause and it transforms them. There is a reason women "hit the wall" - it's because it's all very sudden. The youthfulness disappears almost overnight. Even celebrities seem to be unable to avoid hitting the wall.

Men - in their early 50s

I always hear many people (most gay men) say that women age much better than men. That is so untrue. Women appear to age better because of tons of makeup slathered on their faces, wigs, bras, girdles, etc. When all that crap comes off they are damn scary. Everything hits the floor.

I love when people go on about how Sophia Loren and has aged so well. Uh, no. It's all the art of makeup. I promise that you would cringe if you saw her without her wigs and makeup!

Starting about 22, it's all downhill for guys.

Depends on the individual. Some men and women grow fat by their mid 20's, others are beautiful at 60.

I'm 52 and I didn't start noticing aging until I was 49 or 50. That's when I started noticing I looked older in pictures. I take care of myself, work out, am not overweight, use moisturizer, etc. and have only a strand or two of gray hair but think genetics help, too. My mother always looked younger than her age and I take after her. My dad always looked his age and my younger brother, who looks older than me, takes after him. They always say sun overexposure, especially when young, accelerates the aging process and I feel like that might be happening to me since I used to always be tan, at least until my early 40's. At my 30th high school reunion, I was shocked at how terrible a lot of the guys looked. And for the women, they either looked great or terrible. Lots of 48 year old fat grandma types.

It happens in stages. You'll be freaked out at what happens to your face at 45. Then at 55, you'll look back at 45 with fondness. Btw, I didn't see much a difference with menopause (I'm female). I don't like how I look now at 59. Ten years from now I'll love how I looked.

I believe it's all genetics. I'm 49 and still get hit on and the double takes in grocery stores, etc.. I have cousins older than me but they look younger.

With that being said - looks aren't everything, because my family isn't so swift in the brains department. Trust me ...you wouldn't believe what I deal with for the sake of family.

I dunno. Men don't have an official menopause but their looks go south pretty much when women's do. Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, etc., definitely have lost their hotness. Not even mentioning Val Kilmer, Brendan Fraser, Luke Wilson, Dennis Quaid who just look terrible.

I don't know the precise age, but when mens necks look like their scrotums, it's pretty much over.

For wimmen, It's when they bend onto their knees to paint their toe nails and they scream because they have twelve toes to paint; it's pretty much over.

Once women reach 50, they all seem to buy into the "grandma" persona. Short, unattractive helmet hair, prissy glasses, lots of extra weight, leisure clothing, velcro sandals.

It's like it happens without them even realizing it, and it's such a universal thing.

Why?

And men with their obscene guts. It doesn't have to be that way, does it?

"Once women reach 50, they all seem to buy into the "grandma" persona. Short, unattractive helmet hair, prissy glasses, lots of extra weight, leisure clothing, velcro sandals."

I really think there comes a point in every woman's life where they don't give a fuck anymore.

The notion that a woman has to be fuckable until she dies is idiotic.

I'm just 54 and get more attention now than I have in 10 years. I did lose weight and photograph better now than of late. I just need to get laid like I used to.

I'm not saying a woman has to be fuckable until she dies, R94. You're inferring that.

I've observed that there's a generic, one-size-fits-all "grandma" mold that women over a certain age seem to unconsciously pour themselves into.

Or is that too much for you to wrap your wee brain around?

The importance of physical appearance varies in an inverse manner compared to the degree of maturity attained in the course of attaining greater age. Those still anchored to maintaining maximum youth will tend to challenge outward aging, those with a different balance for contentment may not.

About thirteen.

Not in NYC, r96 and everybody. Where do you see this, Peoria?

I was relatively good-looking until I was about 50 or so.

Then downhill so fast it surprised me. I still exercise a lot and eat right and all that good stuff, but no one would mistake me for anything but a 56 yr. old man.

I can't say I much care. Occasionally, I'll spend 30 seconds lamenting the loss of my looks, but that's about the extent of it. (This is a pleasant surprise---when I was younger I figured that I'd have lots of surgery and all that crap to stay young.)

[r96]: stop being faux condescending (you're not smart enough). My statement about "women don't need to be fuckable until they die" clearly wasn't aimed at what you said since you didn't even imply it.

R96? How about you just shut the fuck up? Then we'll all be happy!

Have a nice weekend, stooge.

Mid to late 30's. Especially for natural blondes and pale skinned people. For tan and dark brown haired and skinned people, maybe early 40's.

I find lots of younger men are attracted to me.

Just lucky, I guess.

i need my bum pounded

Fifty

Stop thinking like that. It's more complicated.

[quote]Where do you see this, Peoria?

Yeah, r99. Because NYC is a magical Utopia where no one gets older.

Agreed, r106.

I could still recognize people I'd gone to high school with when I was in my 40s. But in the 50s, I wouldn't be able to recognize anybody. Time took too much if a toll.

"Most?" "Most," OP? Really?

Most people lose their looks in their 20s. Not completely, and by no means all, but definitely most.

I'm talking about the general population, not the waiting room of a cosmetic surgeon's office.

Would say after 50, around 55 or so. Maybee 54. Better have a great lifestyle if you want to stay healthy, and that won't make you look "great". It will make you look "good for your age".

After 60, looks just don't matter anymore. Health does, and spirit.

agree -50....at 60 it is even worse.....things really fall apart and for those who opt for plastic surgery to maintain their youth- forget it- you look ridiculous.

I make a distinction between men and women re starting to lose looks. Not sexist, just realistic; I could give any number of examples.

Women: c. 37; 40 at latest.

Men: Physic:probably late 30's. Face - maybe not till 50's; LOTS of hot daddies out there.

With questions like that, it seems that you see people as you see meat.

Enough!

For those who look younger because of genetics and because of that think they still have a little bit more time often that is not the case.

Sometimes without warning you hit the wall. You suddenly get old looking fairly quickly and there is nothing to do about it.

I looked great at 25. That was my peak until I think 28. 29 I was running for time I think. Turning 30 was horrible. I started getting wrinkles (between my eyebrows) that I'd never had before. I guess I'd never really worried before. My teeth also started to go south, in a big way. Still struggling with that today.

I'm 36, and I look good for 36. Not exceptional, but fine. And, contrary to what may seem from what I wrote before, I look younger than 36. I often get asked if I qualify for under-25 prices when buying a train ticket or going to a museum.

I believe turning 40 will be fine, in fact I'm pretty sure I'll look better than I do now because my bone structure will be more defined.

I'm not so sure about menopause. Pretty sure it'll be hell, actually, just like puberty was.

After 30 I started to gain weight (belly, mostly), even though I am far from overweight. I know I will never be as attractive as I was when I was in my twenties. It's made for a very different lifestyle, and I focus on different things now.

Peculiarly enough, I'm looking forward to 40. 50 will be difficult, I'm pretty sure, but if I make it to 60 it will be the best time of my life.

Gosh but this thread is depressing. It started for me this year. I'm 51. I still look okay for 51 ... but I never had to throw a qualifier in before now. No red meat or hard liquor. Workout 5 to 6 times a week or I suspect I'd be even further downhill.

Wow, that's scary R118. Because I don't work out, I fear it might be all downhill for me unless I start exercizing again.

Sadly, it's getting to be a psychological issue.

If you've had a good run - 46-48 is attractiveness stretch point.

R119 - just make a 2 times a week workout pledge. It will build its own momentum. Everyone at the gym had their own first day.

Anywhere between 38 and 90.

I don't think I look young for my age. I'm 43 and most people guess my age to be late 30s-early 40s. However, I know that I look good. I workout 4 times a week, eat healthy more times than not, never smoke, stay out of the sun etc. I get my share of compliments and still turn a few heads here and there.

My one vice, and I think this is where genetics comes in, is booze. Though I don't drink everyday, and I certainly don't drink a lot when I do, I still love my red wine. And a cold beer in the summer. Once a month, I like to get trashed on the roof at The Eagle here in NYC.

My mom was a BIG boozer before she slowed down a few years ago. And she looked radiant right up until then. In fact, most people attribute her looking haggard now to the fact that she doesn't drink anymore. Ha.

I'm not sure. I'm 30 and still look great, but I have other 30 yr old friends who have lost their looks completely. Their skin has aged and they just seem OLD. Some guys I went to high school with are balding! I see crows feet in pix. It's scary.

Meanwhile, my mother is 57 without a gray hair or a wrinkle. She is an average woman looks wise but she hasn't lost any of those looks.

Never understood people who think men age better. I used to work in a conference hotel and most conferences were attended by 35-65 year old males and believe me they all looked it. In fact once they hit 45 and they're all in dark suits they all look the same. I mean where are all thee men who are ageing better than women. If you ask me it's just more sexist nonsense.

I think male and female start to really age at 40. Asians age the worst and blacks the best.

I'm 32 and have looked 30ish for the past 10 years. I'm tall,square jawed and dark (always have stubble). My sister is 25 and looks 16. We went on vacation together this summer and she was stopped at the gym and asked if she was over 18. She had to go back to our cabin and get ID. She gets embarrassed like that constantly so she wants to age. I'm interested in how look at 40 because she is freakishly young but has to age sometime! She is very fair so never sunbathes, doesn't smoke or drink and is a trainer though.

37

The biggest sign of aging is yellowing teeth. If you doubt it, take a photo of anyone, run it under Photoshop to whiten them, and notice the difference. Very white teeth, while not making you look younger, can make you look dramatically more attractive, whatever your age. Professional whitening is tiresome and expensive to maintain, but it's worth it.

Really it all depends on the person, how well they take care of themselves, and genetics. Some people just keep their :young look" longer than other people. Some people lose their "young look" earlier than other people. Then some people loose their "young look" at an older age but still look good for their age. It all depends on the person and what I mentioned above.

Now I do agree that men loose their 'young look" at an earlier age then women. Men have a tendency not to care of themselves so they look their look. Most don't care as long as they feel fine. The majority of women care a lot more. They try to keep their "young look" as long as possible. They keep up their appearance and constantly try to look good.

Eventually all men/women loose their "young look" at some point. For some people it can be in their 40's. Some in their late 30's. Then some people still look good at an older age but they don't have that "young look" anymore.

I know a female who is 32 years old at work. I though she was in her late 20's somewhere between 26-29 until I found her age out. I met a guy who is 32 years old and he looks like he is 40. I though he was 40 until I found out he was younger.

Really it doesn't matter how you look as you age. It matter more so how you feel. Granted as long as you don't look horrible for your age (scraggly and unkept.

If they work on holding onto their looks, they can often maintain them til their early 60s, after that it's extremely rare to still have 'em.

I've seen women's looks go downhill rapidly after they have kids, even in their thirties. Women who give birth in their forties age dramatically. I know child free women in their late forties who are stylish, vibrant, fit and have an aura of wisdom and they are attractive. They don't look twenty, but they are attractive and straight men still respond to them.

Men, well, they do tend to go downhill fast after forty. Avoiding middle aged paunch requires discipline. Many men become very stuck in their ways in middle age and do not want to undertake the changes necessary to stay trim. Also many men become depressed after forty. They may not have achieved what they hoped to, they turn grey, their dicks don't work as they used to. Depression ages people, and can result in a lack of grooming, lack of interest in appearance.

There are a very few genetically gifted who just look good near forever.

For most after 35, it is a full time job to maintain one's attractiveness, whether male or female.

At a certain point, the work on hair, skin, and body becomes onerous. One begins to give in on a few fronts. Eventually, you look older.

Best bet is to try to maintain a reasonable weight, exercise for health not looks, and be consistently well groomed. Stick with styles that flatter.

Posture! It's so important and I haven't seen a word about it in any post. (Did I miss it?) Bad posture will age anyone, and it doesn't get better by itself. I see kids hunched over their phones and can't help thinking they're in for a rough time as they age.

It depends...I notice a lot of melanin deficient ppl have receding hairlines at 30.

The shelf life for gay men is often even shorter than the shelf life of STRAIGHT women.

Depend show well kept and where. I was invisible living in Atlanta in my early 40s. When I moved to DC, which has more of a Daddy culture, it was a like a second wind for while. But that ends, too, mid-50s. I think it helps to be in shape and to not be all gray.

It’s 60. I’m starting to look like my grandmother,now.

It really depends on how much people drink. In my experience heavy drinkers age the absolute worst.

R135 here---Depends who and where.....

Sun also makes a difference. I'm still pretty wrinkle free and it's because I know better about how I do in sun (either "a little color or I burn).

It depends on the person and genetics, I never was much of a person for going to bars but when ever I did, I would get carded into my mid thirties. One job I worked they demanded I produce a birth certificate, they thought I was lying about my age, no one else, just me. Even the other day a neighbor found out I was 69 and he said, "WOW, I never would have guessed you were that old". Both of my parents never looked their age, it's genetics, I sure don't take that great care of myself.

Really early for a lot of people I went to high school with. Usually around 30. A few girls I went to high school with who were popular and considered attractive got fat like two or three years after high school and started wearing sweatpants. I remember they always had their makeup done in high school too and after graduation they seemed to give up on that.

R137- Look at Michelle Philips. She was a PARTY ANIMAL in the 1960's into the 1970's- Drinking and taking a LOT of drugs and now it shows. She has AGED TERRIBLY.

I’ve noticed that the heterosexual lifestyle ages people prematurely.

You're right, 143. Especially if they have kids.

When I attended my 10 year reunion, all the women looked fantastic but the men looked horrible. So I'm going with 30 for men, and 45 for women. When I attended the 20 year one, they all looked bad.

I'm 51, female and despite some tiny lines around my eyes and some thinning hair, I look very much like I did in my 30's. People are often shocked when I tell them my age. I'm lucky that I have really good genes.

Revenge of the mad bumper

I agree that alcohol and sun were the two biggest factors in how people aged. I have a friend who is my age but she looks much older...mainly because she drinks a shit ton of alcohol and was a former smoker. She also did drugs.

There's something to clean living.

For most people: 50.

For people who take bad care of themselves: 40

For people who take good care of themselves: 60

It all depends on if you drink, smoke, etc., and other drugs. Drinking especially takes it's toll.

For those who do, they start to lose their looks around age 45, and they end up looking about 15 years older than their true age.

For those who don't, they can hang on to their looks -- at least in the face -- till around 55.

I am 58 and quit drinking/drugs/smoking in my 20's and have stayed out of the sun. The thing you can't control is skin elasticity and I have moments where I see the crepey skin on my arms and legs--I keep thinking I am looking at my 80 year old uncles arm/leg and not mine........I was never one for moisturizer or any skin care regimen. It can be startling seeing it in the mirror or when you bend your leg or arm...also, my neck and hands are getting to be a give away....If I stay fit and keep my weight close to 170 (am 5'11"), I can pass for late 40's as my hair isn't too grey and I still have a full head of hair. If I gain weight, I can age a year for each extra pound. I really have to watch what I eat and seem to do well when I follow the Zone diet type meal structure. Pretty much no sugar and no white stuff. I can gain 5 pounds in 10 days if I would go to McDonalds a few times a week and have chocolate shakes and large fries with the burger. I still fit into 31" jeans but I have to do a lot of squats and bike riding to keep from getting old man ass which I finally realized is inevitable. I go to the gym 3 - 4 days/week or work out on line......if I am not consistent with exercise, my posture suffers and I lose muscle much quicker than I used to. If you are in your 30's-40's and still in good shape, do the things you want to do as the door will close.........I have many friends who have physical limitations and they have had hip and knee replacements or open heart surgery for bypass. I have been lucky so far to have avoided any major ailments but do have arthritis in my hip that is under control with regular exercise....if I stop exercise for more than a month, the hip pain starts to return. I have made the choice not to do botox or dye my hair, so I am just going to enjoy the benefits of clean living and good genetics from my mom's side of the family......my dad's side lived hard and my dad died at age 67 and looked like he was 80.......my mom's brother is 82 and was snow skiing every year until last winter when he fell and fractured his hip....he recovered but isn't skiing any more........but he looked fit/youthful until he was about 75 and then he got the old man look......as someone who watched many friends with AIDS die around me when I was in my mid-twenties to early thirties, the opportunity I have had of getting older is a bonus.........

This may be going off towards new thread territory but a question for older DLers on here who were attractive in their youth/younger years: when your looks did noticeably go, how did that affect you? Was it gradual enough so that you got used to it as the years went on and you stopped turning heads/felt more invisible?

Ageing is where physically average/unattractive people have it better I think as they have less of a shift or shock to deal with. I know attractiveness comes in many forms - I am talking about the shallow, turn heads purely on your looks, physical attractiveness.

Back in the mid to late 1990's when I would go to a bar guys would cruise me and lean forward to catch my glance. Some of them seemed PAINFULLY attracted to me.

Now I am 55 years old. I do take care of myself. I walk about 16 miles per week and lift weights twice a week. I don't smoke , drink or take drugs. I NEVER did. Still when ANY guy checks me out nowadays I am VERY grateful.

I have mentioned this before. Gay men over a certain age lose their gaydar. I'm past that age myself. When it happened, at first I wondered why? Then I realized what gaydar is. It is the subliminal awareness that a man is checking you out. Since gay men, especially gay men under the age of 40, are no longer checking me out, I no longer have working gaydar. When I pass younger gay men on a public street now, I'm so invisible to them that one will turn to the other and say, "did you just feel a touch of a breeze?" as I go by.

However, my gaydar works just fine in Palm Springs. At age 60, I'm median age gay there, perhaps even on the youthful side, so I get checked out. I am fortunate to be tall and slim, and don't have health issues that affect mobility, so I walk athletically and "youthfully". From a distance, I'm certain I look younger than I am. But get close, and you'll get an eyeful of silver hair, fine lines, the beginnings of jowls, a neck line that is is beginning to sag, etc. Looking at pictures of myself, I'd say that I lost my looks in my late 40s. Oh well. I opted not to fight my natural aging with shoe polish dye for my hair and a never-ending regimen of botox and plastic surgery. In the end, that fools nobody, is expensive, and makes people laugh behind your back.

I’ve a friend who says he became almost invisible to other men in his 40s, but has suddenly started getting hit on by daddy-seeking young gays now that he’s 52.

It’s not what he wants - he’s seeking a LTR - but claims he can’t recall when he had such a good looking selection of FBs

Look at Tamron Hall who is like 50. She's freaking gorgeous and young-looking. Jennifer Beals looks amazing, too.

I know a local politician who is 65. I wouldn't call her young-looking, but holy goodness, the charm! She's beautiful and lovely.

In this country, I think most people lose their looks because they fatten up. When you travel to France and Italy, you don't see middle-aged paunch the way you do here. Americans really let themselves go.

When they get fat. People who are attractive and slim continue to be attractive and slim elders. Plus they are not as prone to diseases such as obesity and heart problems.

R152- Gaydar is NOT just about some guy checking you out. I can watch a movie on tv and sometimes determine that someone is GAY or in a store even if they're NOT checking me out.

R155 Is right. All the women in my family have freaky Miranda Kerr baby faces. They all get fat after having children and look old. My sister is the only woman in my family who isn't fat and she looks about 10 years younger than her age (early-30s).

r155, you can be slim and still have a face full of wrinkles.

I agree with R21. I know guys who were sex on a stick in high school and college. They're in the 50s now, and they look fat, bald, and way out of shape.

Watch your diet, exercise, take care of yourselves, and stay out of the sun...when you're in your teens, twenties, and throughout your life, if you wish to age gracefully.

In addition, good genes help. I have a neighbor who's 95. He still lives on his own and looks good for a man his age. He has a girlfriend who is only about 75. Good for the old codger!

R149. Gelatin. Or collagen powder. Seriously.

The reason we have so many hip implants, knee replacement surgeries is also one of the reasons skin gets so thin and crepey. We don't eat the whole chicken, like gramma used to make when she made roast chicken or chicken soup.

Cooking the whole bird allows one to get the gelatin, etc., from the bones of the bird. For the last 30+ years, everyone's eating boneless, skinless chicken breasts (just as one example), and we wonder why everyone is needing surgery.

I always felt putting too much stock in your looks was a dangerous game. I was good looking - but as an Irish person, looks fade quickly - by 30 at latest.

The only reason losing looks hurts is the inability to attract a partner perhaps. But in everyday life, I always think of age as simply a benefit of youth. One of the most important lessons in life is the superficiality of physical beauty. It’s why I find the whole LA/FL cosmetic surgery/youthful looks at any cost so deeply sad. So much more meaning and learning in life than looking young.

This thread seems to presume that it happens all at once.

It happens every year, although diet, smoking, alcohol, drugs, and genetics all influence things greatly. I would say almost all men are no longer as attractive as they once were by 40, and then it goes and fits and starts as they look worse and worse--but everyone is at different rater.