Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

Celebs at AA Meetings

At which meetings have you seen celebrities? AA or other "_A" meetings. I think they tend to go to ones on the westside, and avoid the Hollywood ones.

by Anonymousreply 208November 30, 2018 10:59 PM

The central tenet is that the anonymity of the attendees is sacred. Anyone in the program who takes it seriously won't tell you. And anyone who tells you is likely to be making it up.

by Anonymousreply 1April 6, 2012 5:22 PM

They have meetings in their homes for the most part. Years ago celebs would go to AA meetings in public but word got out and lots of fans would show up just to see them.

They can't do this now as everyone has cell phone cameras.

by Anonymousreply 2April 6, 2012 5:23 PM

I met a minor celebrity some years ago at a meeting in CT.... He was really nice to me, and most of the people at the meeting didn't recognize him, but you would recognize his name.

by Anonymousreply 3April 6, 2012 5:26 PM

R1,

everybody, including the supposed "hardcore" AAer's squack about who's attending.

The lying, treachery, and hypocrisy is hideous in AA.

by Anonymousreply 4April 6, 2012 5:27 PM

I used to attend ACoA meetings which were attended by a well known New Age music performer, a thoroughly nice woman. Name? Never.

I agree about the treachery. Years ago, an alcoholic sibling used AA meetings to engage some members in a smear campaigh which got back to me. Truth-telling is not a requirement of AA attendance.

by Anonymousreply 5April 6, 2012 5:44 PM

I'm just waiting to hear about lawsuits against AA for the abuse, rapes, and criminal activity that goes on in the "fellowship."

by Anonymousreply 6April 6, 2012 6:00 PM

Wtf? Seriously ?

by Anonymousreply 7April 6, 2012 6:05 PM

In one of the few times I ever agreed with Dennis Hopper, he railed about AA people being blabbermouths, not just about who attended, but about their recovery generally. "It's supposed to be Anonymous." Or something like that.

by Anonymousreply 8April 6, 2012 6:07 PM

I've seen several celebs in AA and NA meeetings in Chicago, mainly the theatre areas. Agree 100% with the posters who say the anonimity of AA is BS. Had a collegue who thought he had some big secret to blackmail me with when he saw me at a NA meeting.Bitch forgot that I saw him at that meeting too.

After years in AA and NA I had to get away from it and figure out why I felt the need to drink and get high. AA/NA is good at the begining but if you don't know why you're doing it you're never going to stop.

by Anonymousreply 9April 6, 2012 6:20 PM

Here you go bitches - the courts have spoken about AA anonymity/confidentiality.

So much for the 'spiritual foundation of all our traditions'.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 10April 6, 2012 6:27 PM

AA is a support system that you can reach out to when in need. You shouldn't give people (including celebs) a hard time for reaching out for help imho.

by Anonymousreply 11April 6, 2012 6:42 PM

There are secret AA meetings for various groups of people who have a need to protect their identity, including celebrities. Some of the more protected groups include airline pilots and doctors.

You read that right, airline pilots. It's understandable why that needs to be kept secret.

People would be amazed how many surgeons are in AA, and the fact that they were operating on patients throughout their drinking careers. The chief of surgery in the top-ranked hospital in a city where I lived came to AA and got sober. He was at the end of surgical career and was ready to retire. I always wondered how many patients he had killed.

by Anonymousreply 12April 6, 2012 6:54 PM

There is an actress who portrays a doctor on a television show who unfortunately had an online tabloid take pictures of her having exited an AA meeting. This actress is in dire need of perhaps more than just AA. However, since an online tabloid busted her, she has since claimed to be in Al-Anon and has one of her siblings living with her as her minder. The sibling she lives with is the one she claims to be going to Al-Anon for.

by Anonymousreply 13April 6, 2012 7:07 PM

A relative of mine saw Lindsay Lohan at an AA meeting a few years ago. Not too surprising.

by Anonymousreply 14April 6, 2012 7:08 PM

I've been a c&s member for a long time. I've seen them come and go - it's a veritable revolving door. I can't be sure but I have heard many share from the floor including: Rush L., Spencer P., Heidi M., Jon and Kate G., Nadya "ocotmom" S., Candy S., Lil' K. My eyesight isn't the best (thanks to that damn lighter fluid!) but it sure looked like those people. It could be the ol' celebrity double switcheroo that many people do. Can you believe it? -- they don't use their real first names. (washington D.C. is the most notorious --- as if those minor gov. workers are Anybody!) Of course there are many I pray for : Casey A., Eliot S., Jesse J., and Charlie S. My back is up against the wall to pull a STEP 3 and wait. All in His time.

by Anonymousreply 15April 6, 2012 7:34 PM

In LA, even the most hardcore AAs and Al-Anons drop names as quickly as they breath.

I got into recovery in a place where anonymity was strictly practiced. So, was completely stunned when I moved to LA and heard all this name dropping -- both during shares and outside of meetings.

When I've questioned people about it, the attitude they took was it's OK to break anonymity with people also in recovery. Not OK to break it with people not in recovery.

by Anonymousreply 16April 6, 2012 9:44 PM

Tatum, Alec, Liza....

NY AA

by Anonymousreply 17April 6, 2012 10:23 PM

That's true, R16. There's no such thing as anonymity within AA, only outside of AA.

by Anonymousreply 18April 6, 2012 10:36 PM

Grace Adler and Val although Grace was just there for the food

by Anonymousreply 19April 6, 2012 11:10 PM

[quote]There are secret AA meetings for various groups of people who have a need to protect their identity, including celebrities. Some of the more protected groups include airline pilots and doctors.

And White House Chiefs of Staff.

by Anonymousreply 20April 6, 2012 11:22 PM

I would have loved Leo in meetings.

by Anonymousreply 21April 6, 2012 11:28 PM

"Alcoholism" doesn't even exist. Those people just need to stop getting drunk all the time.

by Anonymousreply 22April 7, 2012 1:19 AM

I'm sure halitosis doesn't exist either, R22. That doesn't mean your breath doesn't reek.

by Anonymousreply 23April 7, 2012 1:33 AM

One of my ex's many faults was an inability to remember what the second A in AA stood for. He had every reason to be grateful to that organization (as did I, during the years we were together after he joined), but couldn't wait to out his fellow members. He apparently hit the motherlode in Amagansett meetings.

by Anonymousreply 24April 7, 2012 1:41 AM

Group therapy is a huge problem for public figures and it's generally recommended that they avoid it.

by Anonymousreply 25April 7, 2012 1:46 AM

It's not well peoples anonymous.Just because a person is in some stage of recovery or trying to be, doesn't mean that they're going to do it perfectly. Celebrity or not. I owe my life to the program... And use my first and last name... If someone is struggling their never gonna find Shannon O in the phone book.... I've never heard of a rape an AA meeting, but I'm sure that type of crime can happen just about anywhere.... What a ridiculous statement that was.

by Anonymousreply 26February 8, 2013 3:01 AM

Lots of celebrities go to both AA and NA meetings in the West Village. Pay attention next time you walk by a nondescript place with lots of people standing outside smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee out of styrofoam cups.

by Anonymousreply 27February 8, 2013 3:12 AM

[quote]People would be amazed how many surgeons are in AA, and the fact that they were operating on patients throughout their drinking careers.

Hardly shocking. I've been to detox and rehab several times (and all the meetings that go along with that). I met many, many well-paid and powerful medical professionals among my fellow attendees. Some of them had worked with or volunteered with children.

[quote]Group therapy is a huge problem for public figures and it's generally recommended that they avoid it.

AA isn't group therapy, though many who share during meetings mistake it for that. "Group therapy" in rehab isn't even what most patients think it is.

by Anonymousreply 28February 8, 2013 3:25 AM

[quote]Hardly shocking. I've been to detox and rehab several times (and all the meetings that go along with that). I met many, many well-paid and powerful medical professionals among my fellow attendees. Some of them had worked with or volunteered with children.

Maybe not shocking to you, but I bet the average person would be surprised to find out the chief of cardiothoracic surgery at the most prestigious hospital in the area was drunk through all the years he was operating on people. I'm also sure they would be a bit amazed at how many airline pilots are drunks.

I don't understand your strange references to alcoholic medical professionals being well-paid, powerful and working with and volunteering with children. Huh?

You might want to remember that most people don't casually drift in and out of detox and treatment like you apparently do.

by Anonymousreply 29February 8, 2013 4:21 AM

The UWS had star-studded AA/NAmeetings in the early through late 80s when a friend went there. Lots of crew members from SNL, musical guests from SNL. That show used to be full of coke heads and heroin addicts. A famous singer was married to another famous musician who was sober until he went off the rails after attending the SNL after parties. That's when famous singer #1 divorced famous musician number 2.

Al Franken's Stuart Smalley was based on a UWS regular attendee who sort of ran some groups. I was at the 92nd St Y year's ago when Julia Sweeney and Al Franken appeared. They interviewed each other and then took questions from the audience. A woman asked if a specific person (ie, Mark E) was the basis for Stewart. Al just laughed and said he wouldn't comment.

by Anonymousreply 30February 8, 2013 4:55 AM

r17, which meeting please!!!

by Anonymousreply 31February 8, 2013 4:59 AM

Please close this thread. It is the decent thing to do. AA should be anonymous.

by Anonymousreply 32February 8, 2013 5:08 AM

r32, here you go

People I have seen at AA meetings in L.A

1. Orlando Bloom 2. Robert Blake 3. Jodie sweeten 4. Alec baldwin 5. Christian Slater 6.Carisma carpenter 7. toby maguire 8. Nancy Allen 9. ozzy osbourne

Many celebs will attend meetings in trendy areas just so people will THINK they are sober!!! Tons of BS' ERS IN AA

by Anonymousreply 33February 8, 2013 5:15 AM

[quote]The lying, treachery, and hypocrisy is hideous in AA.

that's why i hate them

by Anonymousreply 34February 8, 2013 5:16 AM

I'm in OA and OA has tons of meetings online, AA has more. Why go to a meeting when you can be anonymous in an online chat? If these celebs really wanted to be anonymous they'd go to online meetings.

by Anonymousreply 35February 8, 2013 5:20 AM

Which Hollywood Studio had regular AA meetings for 20-25 years, and all anyone had to do was tell the security guards that there were there for a "meeting with Bill W" and they were admitted on to the lot, no questions asked?

Then a new boss took over and just about shit when he found out about it because it was such a breach of security.

by Anonymousreply 36February 8, 2013 5:21 AM

Hi my name is Kitty D, and I'm an alco-ponic.

by Anonymousreply 37February 8, 2013 5:26 AM

R35, if you have a slip Krispy Kreme will have to restock. If an AA member has a slip, they might not survive to make it back.

Online meetings are fine sometimes, but they don't take the place of being in a room of other recovering people.

As for some of the criticisms of AA on here, individual members are not AA and their bad behavior is their own responsibility, not that of the group or organization. Someone who is genuinely in recovery is not about to divulge the names of other people at the meetings, or share anything that's said. It's nobody's business but those who are in that room at the time.

by Anonymousreply 38February 8, 2013 5:26 AM

Hi, I'm Joan and I'm an alchoponic.

Kitty, I told you never to come to MY meeting!

by Anonymousreply 39February 8, 2013 5:28 AM

Someone who is genuinely in recovery is not about to divulge the names of other people at the meetings

LMAO

by Anonymousreply 40February 8, 2013 5:29 AM

AA meetings in West Hollywood - Janice Dickinson and Russel Brand. Plenty of others who I can't recall their name. A few AA meetings in WeHo are so cliquey and repellent it would make anyone start to drink again.

by Anonymousreply 41February 8, 2013 5:30 AM

People who are ordered to go like Lilo have to get court cards signed so probably need to go in person. Also, people like her who really want to be seen as being serious about getting sober like to go to meetings and be seen so that paparrazi can report that they were at a meeting.

by Anonymousreply 42February 8, 2013 5:35 AM

It's the truth, R40.

There are many people who go to AA meetings, but not all of them are in recovery, even some who haven't used recently. Look at some of the crazy people who've posted on DL and claim to be in recovery. Those bedbugs are sitting in the same rooms with people who are actually trying to turn their lives around.

I was fortunate to have good sponsors in my early days who explained the importance of such things as anonymity, the bedrock of AA.

by Anonymousreply 43February 8, 2013 5:37 AM

People like Lilo go around the corner to the nearest bar as soon as the meeting is over.

by Anonymousreply 44February 8, 2013 5:38 AM

Cheyenne Jackson, Anthony Hopkins, Russel Brand, Tobey Maguire, Alec Baldwin, Adam Baldwin, too many others to name.

Sorry if this makes me an asshole, but I've been a DLer years longer than I've been sober. I might be a recovering alkie, but I'm loyal goddamit.

by Anonymousreply 45February 8, 2013 5:53 AM

This thread is fucked up. Most people in AA respect the anonymity of its participants. Those who don't are as sick as the guy who started this thread.

by Anonymousreply 46February 8, 2013 6:03 AM

One of the things you learn in the A programs is not to be judgmental. So the judgmental marys on here slamming people for outting the alkies/NA people should get a life.

As was said before, if they really really want to be anon they can go on line. But they're attention whores first.

by Anonymousreply 47February 8, 2013 7:12 AM

OP, I saw your mom and dad. How 'bout that.

by Anonymousreply 48February 8, 2013 7:18 AM

Bullshit, R47. Learning not to be judgmental is nowhere in the AA Steps or Traditions.

However, the principle of Anonymity certainly is.

by Anonymousreply 49February 8, 2013 7:27 AM

Why does it have to be anonymous? Why should someone feel ashamed if they like to drink too much.? Big deal.

by Anonymousreply 50February 8, 2013 7:32 AM

There's a local celebrity who occasionally attends meetings. When he does, everyone talks about it for weeks. It really makes me a bit sick. People justify it by saying that there is no anonymity within the fellowship, we are only anonymous to non-AAs. Personally, I go by the slogan 'Who you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here.' Who I see at a meeting and a member's individual progress is nobody's business - if I heard it or saw it at a meetkng I won't discuss it.

by Anonymousreply 51February 8, 2013 7:33 AM

for r49 - wrong babe. But I understand. You're angry and resentful. Read this from the BB.

""It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. But are there no exceptions to this rule? What about justifiable anger? If somebody cheats us, arent we entitled to be mad? Cant we be properly angry with self-righteous folk? For us of A.A. these are dangerous exceptions. We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it."

by Anonymousreply 52February 8, 2013 7:49 AM

God. This fucking squabbling is why I no longer attend AA.

by Anonymousreply 53February 8, 2013 7:56 AM

R50, you might try pondering OP's question about which celebrities go to AA meetings. In there somewhere is buried the clue that will help you answer your question.

Actually, the principle of anonymity goes beyond the identity of the people in the meetings. Anonymity also means that everyone who walks into an AA meeting has equal status, and that's been invaluable to AA's continuation. There is no hierarchy that makes one recovering alcoholic more important than another. Meetings have a chairperson, but that person is only there for that meeting.

Having said that, of course there are people in the meetings who have ego problems, but most of us learn early on to ignore them.

by Anonymousreply 54February 8, 2013 7:57 AM

Anthony Hopkins, Diana Ross, Matt Dillon

by Anonymousreply 55February 8, 2013 8:04 AM

Rebel Wilson likes the drinky

by Anonymousreply 56February 8, 2013 8:17 AM

Cheyenne Jackson? Really?

by Anonymousreply 57February 8, 2013 8:25 AM

TBH I don't think there's too many surprises on the list of celebs who attend AA meetings or NA meetings. Almost all of them are known to have issues.

by Anonymousreply 58February 8, 2013 8:30 AM

Is drinking really that hard to stop? I don't know because I can't stand the taste of alcohol. It's not like it tastes like candy or chocolate.

by Anonymousreply 59February 8, 2013 8:54 AM

You honestly think drinking is about enjoying the flavor? It doesn't have anything to do with the alcohol in the drink?

by Anonymousreply 60February 8, 2013 8:58 AM

We had an adorable newcomer and I couldn't figure out why there was such a strong reaction to him - outright disdain or adoration. Turns out he was a porn star of the moment. Poor baby put on sober weight and the bitchiness hit record levels.

In theory, you are judged by your behavior in the rooms. You would think Gay AA was a safe harbor against prejudice. A celebrity is dragged through everyone's database of second-hand information.

by Anonymousreply 61February 8, 2013 9:14 AM

I've known a few prostitutes who ran into that too, R61. It's really hard for sex workers to get sober because of the way they're treated by some of the fringe area crazies in AA, especially the ones who get Jesus when they put down the bottle. They're probably worse than the guys who harass them for sex.

by Anonymousreply 62February 8, 2013 9:48 AM

Life's too short, you might as well enjoy your drugs & liquor.

by Anonymousreply 63February 8, 2013 1:35 PM

[quote]Maybe not shocking to you, but I bet the average person would be surprised to find out the chief of cardiothoracic surgery at the most prestigious hospital in the area was drunk through all the years he was operating on people. I'm also sure they would be a bit amazed at how many airline pilots are drunks.

I don't understand your strange references to alcoholic medical professionals being well-paid, powerful and working with and volunteering with children. Huh?

You might want to remember that most people don't casually drift in and out of detox and treatment like you apparently do.

R29, I wasn't being hostile. I also haven't been in rehab or detox since my early 20s.

I don't think I made any "strange" references. I got to know quite a bit about these people. In addition to some of them being exactly what I said they are, some of them specialized in pediatrics or held other leadership positions with children's organizations, a few of whom admitted to transporting or working directly with children while high.

And I've heard a lot of "normal person" jokes about pilots being drunks. I just think a lot of people do acknowledge things like this on some level, but they choose not to think about it.

by Anonymousreply 64February 8, 2013 5:18 PM

Oh, damn. Quote fail...

by Anonymousreply 65February 8, 2013 5:19 PM

All this AA crap is utter nonsense and a waste of time that fucks with people's heads. As my wise and beloved grandmother used to say, "You know how you stop drinking? You STOP drinking!" And, fyi, alcoholism is NOT a disease people!

by Anonymousreply 66February 8, 2013 5:47 PM

The ONLY good thing about AA is the notion of a group of people with a common problem getting together to help each other out. It's things like The Book and The Steps and the insistence that all members force some kind of spirituality on themselves that ruins it. Individual differences are not respected in AA - you're simply told that if you're a REAL alcoholic, you have to do as they say, and that if you're successful using any other method, then you were never a "real alcoholic" to begin with (as if some people just go through a period of "faking" an addiction that they don't really have - bitch, PLEASE). If you've never been a hardcore, blackout drunk, you'll just be lectured on how you WILL become one if you don't accept the reality of your "disease" as it's described in some archaic 1930s book written by men with little to no actual knowledge on the subject. Read the "Description of the Alcoholic" in the Big Book. It reads like cult dogma, designed to convince people how weak and powerless they are without AA, how they will never truly "recover" and must accept dependence on the group for life. It's some of the most negative and depressing shit I've ever seen in my life (perfect for someone who enters "the rooms" because they're guilty of nothing more than depression and low self-esteem).

Here's an essay from an addictions counselor who was trained at Hazelden about the negativity in AA and the self-defeating thoughts it promotes. She says it better than I could.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 67February 8, 2013 6:24 PM

I didn't know Anthony Hopkins was a lush. Good for him for not being a mess (in his professional life at least).

by Anonymousreply 68February 8, 2013 6:33 PM

Wow, that's a good read, R67. Thanks.

by Anonymousreply 69February 8, 2013 7:55 PM

Thanks, r67.

I was exposed to a heavy dose of gossiping, backstabbing, petty politics, and power trippers when I entered "the rooms" in the largely gay community of my town. It was anything but anonymous.

Back to what matters here... saw Robin W. share at a meeting once. I won't repeat what he said, but he's very public about his experience with addiction. And pretty damned funny.

Seen a few retired porn stars with multiple addictions, some of whom have already been discussed here. Not going to "out" those guys.

by Anonymousreply 70February 9, 2013 1:41 AM

I agree with R67. And I feel the same way about the few other self-proclaimed methods.

AA/12 has evolved many sayings and cliches that try to include everyone's attitudes, but it really only works in theory; not so much in practice.

by Anonymousreply 71February 9, 2013 2:15 AM

As a member of AA for almost 28 years, I'm appalled at the abuse of the fellowship here. Many people appear to have attenhnded meetings of some of the 12 step fellowships but feel the need to abuse them. I have seen several famous people in meetings and would never, ever even hint at their presence in meetings. And while there are obviously problems with what happens in the fellowships at times, no-one is under suress to attend meetings. The fellowships facilitate recovery for all types of addicts on an on-going bassis. No-one claims that they are perfect! Just like any institution, there will be individulas who abuse trust, power, knowledge and niaivity. We can;t just slate the whole of the fellowships because of some weaknesses. That's like saying we should ban all schools because of some bad ppupils. And when people buy into the whole fame game, they run this type of risk in many areas of life, not just in fellowships.

by Anonymousreply 72February 23, 2013 8:20 PM

R49, AYFKM?

AA won't shut up about resentments.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 73February 23, 2013 8:26 PM

r72, go have a drink it will lighten you up!!

by Anonymousreply 74February 23, 2013 8:55 PM

OK, silly question time, I understand that the recovering alcoholic doing the 12 steps must "make amends" to those they have "wronged" (for lack of a better word). So, a cute, sexy guy is doing this step and realizes he must make amends to you; you tell him the only way amends will be made is to have sex, starting with the cute, sexy amends maker going over the knee of the amends makee and getting a firm, but friendly, spanking. Would this be a legit way to "make amends"--kind of like make-up sex?

by Anonymousreply 75February 24, 2013 6:52 AM

Celebs aren't half as interesting as most people think.

Exhibit A: Britney on X-Factor. There's no there, there.

by Anonymousreply 76February 24, 2013 6:58 AM

Quite a few years back, Elaine Stitch was in Cambridge, MA doing a new Edward Albee play at American Repertory Theatre. A friend of mine went to an AA meeting that Ms. Stritch was attending during her run in the play. I only 'out' her because she is very open about it. So, I went to one meeting where she was the scheduled speaker to tell her 'story.' She was so funny - and honest. Many years later, in her Broadway show - AT LIBERTY - she references her drunk history quite a bit.

by Anonymousreply 77February 24, 2013 8:56 AM

Making ammends doesn't mean you have to do anything the wronged person asks of you. I don't know where you got that crazy idea, r75.

Years ago I remember Bobby Brown was in rehab and shared in either a 12 step meeting or other group situation about how he married Whitney thiking she occassionally played around with women, only to find out that she was 100% lesbian and he thought he should get out of the marriage, blah, blah, blah. Someone in the group IMMEDIATELY checked out of the facility to cash in on the story with the tabloids. The story was covered on the TV tabloid shows for a few days then disappeared.

by Anonymousreply 78February 24, 2013 9:21 AM

AA indoctrinates as insidiously as Scientology

by Anonymousreply 79February 24, 2013 9:59 AM

I was in a rehab facility in the middle of flyover. I mean it was NOT for the rich and famous. Yet, there were 2 television TV news people there that were foreign to me but well known to others. There is no anonymity in AA. It is a bunch of gossip queens just like here except they pretend otherwise.

by Anonymousreply 80February 24, 2013 10:05 AM

Another of the 12 Step meetings even has a line in its closing "let there be no gossip or criticism."

Hah.

by Anonymousreply 81February 24, 2013 10:13 AM

I saw two celebs smoking outside an AA location in the West Village.

by Anonymousreply 82February 24, 2013 1:37 PM

r27, styroform cups at meetings? Not if Bloomberg has his way.

by Anonymousreply 83March 4, 2013 7:23 PM

r66 is right. Alcoholism became a "disease" when doctors figured out they could open clinics and make money from insurance companies.

by Anonymousreply 84March 4, 2013 7:25 PM

And is he going to do something about AA coffee, too, R83?

by Anonymousreply 85March 4, 2013 7:26 PM

There's a direct link between alcoholism and sugar imbalance, yet sugar-laden doughtnuts are offered at every meeting along with coffee and lots of packets of sugar. The condition can't improve since AA enables members to continue the problem.

by Anonymousreply 86March 4, 2013 8:45 PM

Also caffeine can trigger addictive behavior, so then need to switch to decaf and stop smoking too. Just see what it's like to be totally sober for a while.

by Anonymousreply 87March 4, 2013 9:35 PM

I am an alcoholic who firmly believes AA saved my life. I'm wondering about the people here who haven't been able to stop drinking. When someone compared AA to Scientology, I wondered what they feel AA would have to gain by that? There are NO DUES OR FEES FOR AA MEMBERSHIP,WE ARE SELF-SUPPORTING THOUGH OUR OWN CONTRIBUTIONS The ONLY requirement for membership is a desire to STOP DRINKING!. As far as the "disease"aspect goes,the best way I could make someone whose not an alcoholic understand that,is to say I have a disease,that tells me I don't have a disease. Alcoholism is insidious and deadly. Almost all violent crime involves alcohol.especially domestic violence.

I really don't need to worry about people who don't need AA,because there are SO many who do. I wouldn't have bothered posting this,were it not for the fact that so many people here have chosen to attack AA, an organization that has helped many millions of drunks stop drinking and get on with their lives.

by Anonymousreply 88March 4, 2013 11:23 PM

R4= serious alcoholic who can 'control his drinking'. Except when he can't, which is most of the time.

by Anonymousreply 89March 4, 2013 11:26 PM

Thanks. [189].

by Anonymousreply 90March 5, 2013 1:56 AM

[post by racist shit-stain #3 removed.]

by Anonymousreply 91March 5, 2013 1:59 AM

Been to a varied amount of AA meetings in LA area and seen celebs. While I don't by into the AA mantra, I believe it is an ethical decision to NOT divulge their presence in a public forum.

by Anonymousreply 92March 5, 2013 2:17 AM

[post by racist shit-stain #3 removed.]

by Anonymousreply 93March 5, 2013 3:14 AM

R93...go for it...I have been to rehab and to AA meetings. Not ashamed and would not mind others knowing. However, one of the most common characteristics of alcoholics is shame. I would not divulge names of anybody since their going to AA is a personal effort to better themselves. Honestly, only an asshole would do so...Are you an asshole?

by Anonymousreply 94March 5, 2013 3:20 AM

[quote]There is no anonymity in AA. It is a bunch of gossip queens just like here except they pretend otherwise.

Bingo, R80. I know many people who are active in AA and/or NA, and I swear, whenever I'm around them the conversation almost inevitably turns to who's (GASP!) still smoking pot, or who's (GASP!) still taking certain prescription psychiatric meds, or who's (GASP!) out drinking right at that very moment (or who's assumed to be out drinking because they - GASP! - never took "the steps"). Sometimes I want to tell them that they sound like a bunch of pathetic, nerdy middle school students who are just incredibly bored with their own lives and jealous that other kids are out getting drunk/high while they can't, but of course I don't.

by Anonymousreply 95March 5, 2013 3:35 AM

Love how some of the posters name celebrities but won't name porn stars. Only on DL are porn stars treated with more respect!

by Anonymousreply 96March 5, 2013 3:39 AM

[post by racist shit-stain #3 removed.]

by Anonymousreply 97March 5, 2013 4:07 AM

It's strange, AA didn't work for me (though I have been sober 20 years) but it did help get me started. What's odd is I could name dozens of celebs at church meetings, alive and some now dead, and nobody would care (they were open and unashamed themselves).

But I swear I would feel like a total douchebag if I did that, even anonymously. It just feels really wrong. So maybe AA worked better for me than I thought it did.

by Anonymousreply 98March 5, 2013 4:14 AM

I attend AA meetings in Chicago. The only person I've seen at a meeting who is anything close to a celebrity has been a famous academic. Professor X is not exactly a household name to most people, but is extremely well-known and well-respected in within their academic specialty. X's spouse, also an academic, is even better known than X, and is also apparently a total alkie, though based on the parts of X's story that I've heard, I don't know whether the spouse is in recovery.

My AA friends have identified two celebrities they've seen at meetings. I will out them here because, for reasons that will become apparent, in these two cases I don't think it's unethical to do so.

One of these people is Roger Ebert. Ebert has been an AA member for many years and is quite open about this fact. He apparently met his wife at AA. A few years ago he wrote a very moving piece about AA, which I've linked to it below. I don't know if Ebert still attends meetings. For a number of years now he has been physically unable to drink alcohol, or to talk (though obviously he can still listen, and many people find the listening to be the most powerful part of the AA experience). Friends I know in the program said that Ebert was a regular attendee at Chicago meetings for many years, and he was respected for the service work he did for the organization.

The other AA celebrity my AA friends told me about was Chris Farley. When he lived in Chicago he used to attend meetings regularly. A friend who knew him said of him, "He was a really nice guy who just couldn't get the program."

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 99March 5, 2013 4:29 AM

Let's get a grip.

I was involved with Al Anon, which is for the families of alcoholics. The problem is on both sides of the family. Is it a disease? Yes, a mental and physical disease that is abusive and crippling. Just grow up with parents like mine.

Does AA help alcoholics? Yes, it can. It is not like Scientology and the idiot posting about clinics has no idea what he is talking about. Here is the truth about AA.

Very very few alcoholics get into AA. The overwhelming majority continue their drinking and die like my parents did of complications from the disease (i.e, colon cancer and liver cancer). Here is a strange fact.

There is an established link between alcoholism and cancer. The number of deaths caused by drunk drivers is indisputable. The violent crimes brought on by drinking is common knowledge.

However, no one will ban drinking. Smoking? Yes. Super sized sodas? Yes. Trans fats? Yes. Drinking?

Spare me talk about Prohibition. The fact is that bars are central to local revenue. You will never see an attempt to limit drinking the way you have smoking. Never. Fact: You will make more on the bar than the food at a restaurant. Fact: The distributors of alcohol have an extraordinary influence in politics. Fact: Alcohol can cause problems, and ruin lives.

So people gossip about who goes to AA? Big. Fucking. Deal.

by Anonymousreply 100March 5, 2013 4:36 AM

Thank you r99 for your post, it actually almost made me cry.

by Anonymousreply 101March 5, 2013 4:49 AM

There have been some major misconceptions about AA on this thread that I want to clear up. I'm doing this mainly for the benefit of anyone who believes they may have a drinking problem and is thinking of giving AA a try.

The biggest misconception is that AA is some kind of dogmatic cult. That has not been my experience at all. The thing to remember about AA is that it's huge, diverse, and totally decentralized. The AA central office has essentially no control over individual meetings, and meetings vary dramatically. Some are very traditional, old school, and religious; others are loose, nontraditional, and go very light on the God stuff. There are even regular meetings for atheists and agnostics that are advertised as such.

While I don't doubt that there are some meetings where people are very dogmatic and authoritarian -- the so-called "AA Nazis" -- I've never personally attended that type of meeting. The meetings I go to, and that I'm most comfortable with, are nontraditional. I've often heard people say at meetings, "Take what you need and leave the rest," and they mean it.Even he Big Book says that the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking, and that the steps are "a suggested program of recovery" -- not mandatory. No one in AA has ever pressured or coerced me to believe anything in particular, or to do anything in particular. I deeply appreciate this because as a recovering Catholic, I'm allergic dogma and religious bullshit.

AA is not for everyone, and people are certainly capable of recovering from alcoholism and other addictions without it. But for many of us, the fellowship, support, and understanding we found at AA was a beautiful thing, and it was critical in helping us become sober. Many of us have also found the program useful because it has helped us examine and better understand ourselves and our behavior, and has provided some guidelines about how to live and how to be better people. We started going to meetings because we wanted to stop drinking, but we stay because the program continues to give us much more than that.

My main suggestion to anyone who is considering giving AA a try is to attend a lot of different meetings. Meetings vary tremendously and you may have to do some searching to find one that is right for you. There are many specialized meetings that are listed as such -- for example, women-only meetings, men-only meetings, and meetings especially for LGBTQ people, for African-Americans, for Spanish speakers, for teens, for atheists, etc. For myself, finding a recovery community where I felt comfortable was a crucial step in my journey to sobriety.

by Anonymousreply 102March 5, 2013 5:11 AM

r102 Thank you for that post, you are absolutely right. I just recently got back in contact with a friend from rehab of over 11 years ago. She still does the meetings and I would too if I needed or if someone wanted to. She gave a cute guy my info while he is in my town to hit a meeting, I may do it. The point is you can meet great, lifelong friends in the program and don't have to stay in forever but should still respect and not out anyone.

by Anonymousreply 103March 5, 2013 5:21 AM

R102 is right. I am sober, did AA for awhile hated it, left and never looked back. I'm not a group person and I didn't need the social support - my friends before I quit weren't alkies. I quit and hanging out them was actually more fun.

As to AA, can it be dogmatic and feel sort of culty/churchy at times? Yup. Conversely, can you totally disregard sponsors or steps or higher powers or commitments and still attend? Yup. The program, ultimately, is up to you.

by Anonymousreply 104March 5, 2013 6:33 AM

R69 is just mad because she's been fucked in the ass so many times that now when she gets a regular fuck (in the cunt), she farts.

by Anonymousreply 105March 5, 2013 1:00 PM

Has anyone seen Lindsay Lohan at AA meetings in NYC?

by Anonymousreply 106September 6, 2013 11:11 PM

[quote]It's really hard for sex workers to get sober because ...

Because they're SEX WORKERS!

Trying to live an honest, authentic sober life, and being able to sell one's sexual gifts for cash seem to be, in my observations, totaaly at odds with each other.

by Anonymousreply 107September 6, 2013 11:22 PM

Are red tags back? Or is someone just writing "post removed?"

by Anonymousreply 108September 7, 2013 12:05 AM

People like R4 help keep me sober. I'm sorry you can't get sober but,don't take it out on AA.

Alcoholics Anonymous works.

If you or someone you know needs help getting sober go to a meeting (or take them to one).

It's a drag I can't drink like normal people but, it's a lot easier when I can listen & talk about it with people who identify with me.

by Anonymousreply 109September 7, 2013 12:20 AM

I think it's OK too drop names and anonymity is at the level of press radio and films also to the individual who said a.a is good in the beginning bit you have to find out why you feel the need to drink and use then you will never stop just a FYI that what you do in your forth and fifth steps obviously you never worked the steps a.a is for life it's not something you graduate from and meetings aren't the program meetings are the fellowship

by Anonymousreply 110May 5, 2014 3:19 PM

There is an app you can buy called "Steps Away" (or something like that) that tells you which meetings are being held near you, with directions and everything. It seems like that might be too obtrusive, if anyone can download and use the app.

I like to think I can keep a secret, but having inside info about a celebrity is so intoxicating. I had lunch with a client last week and found out his sister is a well-known actress that has been gossiped about quite a bit over the years. (marital issues, infidelity, etc).

Our chat did not cover any addiction problems, but the dirt on family dynamics was shocking. I did look at her IMDB and saw that her family and sibling information is not accurate and only presents one side of her family tree.

I will keep the secret, because it could only be traced back to my client, but it is certainly tempting to blab away, particularly about where she is now, and who she's with romantically.

I would NEVER want to be famous.

by Anonymousreply 111May 5, 2014 3:35 PM

I saw a minor celebrity at a job interview workshop for the unemployed (he had done modelling and some TV maybe 20 years before). Somehow I wouldn't think to broadcast it to the world, the guy was nice and quiet enough, pretty uninteresting if you ask me.

I did tell a few friends at the time, but it wasn't major news.

by Anonymousreply 112May 5, 2014 3:38 PM

OP, these meetings are supposed to be anonymous. Is there a reason that you did not sign your post with your actual name?

My ex was in AA, and used to come home with gossip about the celebrities who attended the meetings in Bridgehampton and Amagansett. I found myself yelling at him for breaching the anonymity of the organization -- it bothered me that he wasn't taking the program seriously.

Then again, when I surprised him by waiting outside one of his meetings so that we could go directly out to dinner, it turned out that he wasn't actually at that meeting. His drinking isn't the reason that he's my ex.

by Anonymousreply 113May 5, 2014 3:39 PM

Alcoholism is a disease and any-one who suffers from it is sick in the head. If you were a celebrity would you sit in a room full of sickos who couls blab details about what you share at a meeting.

by Anonymousreply 114September 5, 2015 10:22 PM

I was at a fairly well known rehab facility in Minnesota. More than once. Anyway, during my time there I lived with, met, or saw a number of famous people.

Drew Barrymore

Ozzy

Clapton

Scott Weiland

Layne Stayley

Frank Black

Kelly Deal

Tatum - an acquaintence of mine had a brief affair with her

.....just to name a few

by Anonymousreply 115September 6, 2015 12:43 AM

anyone ever seen Daniel Radcliffe at an AA meeting - and if so where - NYC or London ?

by Anonymousreply 116September 6, 2015 5:07 PM

In LA there were big NA meetings (at least 75 people) held several nights a week in the outpatient services building I worked in for about 10 yrs in the late 90s/early 00s that was run by one of our shrinks. I worked a lot of evenings and saw just about every actor/director/producer/musician/model ever thought to have a substance abuse problem in LA coming or going from the meetings. It was a huge but closed meeting and it was thought that it was one of the exclusive meetings for famous people. There were several instances of EMTs having to be called because of an overdose that happened during the meetings and for awhile no one was allowed to go to the bathroom alone.

by Anonymousreply 117September 6, 2015 8:52 PM

AA sucks.

by Anonymousreply 118May 9, 2016 6:12 PM

R113 - Same happened to me. My ex came home with gossip from his meetings - it took me about a month to realize he had stopped going to meetings right around the time he started telling me the meeting gossip.

I can't imagine trusting other addicts with my anonymity. Whether in recovery or not.

by Anonymousreply 119May 9, 2016 6:33 PM

What happened, R118?

by Anonymousreply 120May 9, 2016 8:32 PM

r53 Dillon? I absolutely believe that. Alcoholism is one of the many by-products of suppressing one's own homosexuality.

by Anonymousreply 121May 9, 2016 8:54 PM

r55 Dillon? I absolutely believe that. Alcoholism is one of the many by-products of suppressing one's own homosexuality.

by Anonymousreply 122May 9, 2016 8:55 PM

You're all evil for posting names, whether the individuals care or not. The ones who go to meetings to get laid (many) are as warped.

by Anonymousreply 123May 9, 2016 9:15 PM

[quote]It's really hard for sex workers to get sober because of the way they're treated by some of the fringe area crazies in AA.

Oh, thank God! Someone finally gets me!

by Anonymousreply 124May 9, 2016 9:44 PM

What a fucked up thread. It's called Alcoholics Anonymous for a reason. You're an absolute cunt, OP, as are other here for outing fellow AAs. I hope you all die in a tequila fueled fire.

by Anonymousreply 125May 9, 2016 9:47 PM

R125 there is nothing illegal about it. Don't go to public meetings if you need to hide.

by Anonymousreply 126May 9, 2016 10:32 PM

Not illegal, R126. Immoral. You're a cunt. Find your nearest CA Meeting and twerk it cuz you're worth it so let's work it!

by Anonymousreply 127May 9, 2016 10:39 PM

What are you hiding R127?

by Anonymousreply 128May 9, 2016 10:42 PM

Why do they write as if Elaine Stritch and Roger Ebert are still alive.

by Anonymousreply 129May 9, 2016 10:51 PM

I have relatives in the Hollywood area who unfortunately have had substance problems. They have told me about two famous people they met in treatment programs. One Tony award winning actress with some decent TV credits and another very famous member of the LGBT community who has had several threads on the DL.

They shouldn't have told me, and I'm not going to pass it on.

by Anonymousreply 130May 9, 2016 10:51 PM

AA membership is rapidly declining due to more awareness about the cult and other alternatives. there are many ways to get sober without BS AA

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 131May 9, 2016 11:25 PM

R125 AND 127is a miserable AA member. He so wants to get loaded!!

by Anonymousreply 132May 9, 2016 11:27 PM

What are some of the alternatives to AA/Al Anon? I know there are more secular groups, but know little about them.

by Anonymousreply 133May 9, 2016 11:29 PM

[quote] What are some of the alternatives to AA/Al Anon?

Jails, hospitals, cemeteries.

by Anonymousreply 134May 10, 2016 1:30 AM

r134- brainwashed AA member

by Anonymousreply 135May 10, 2016 2:26 AM

I don't drink because I never know when to stop. I tried AA, and that is enough to make me drink. It's a bunch of dry drunks talking about the good old days while chain smoking and drinking coffee. No thanks. I can handle it on my own.

by Anonymousreply 136May 10, 2016 2:37 AM

I work for someone who attends a private one on Wednesday nights. Hollywood Hills. I don't need to give names; whoever you would guess would probably be right.

by Anonymousreply 137May 10, 2016 2:46 AM

Janet Jackson

by Anonymousreply 138May 10, 2016 2:48 AM

My sponsor never let me know his last name, but these personalities get bandied about?

by Anonymousreply 139May 10, 2016 2:53 AM

I was a supporting one of my friends at an AA meeting in Malibu and saw Slash from Guns and Roses there. My friend told me "don't you dare ask him for an autograph" I did anyway and he stopped inviting me

by Anonymousreply 140May 10, 2016 2:59 AM

Outing is one thing. But I will say if you want to see celebs in LA or New York,hit Perry Street and Log Cabin.

by Anonymousreply 141May 10, 2016 3:14 AM

132,135, and 136 we will save a seat for you.

by Anonymousreply 142May 10, 2016 3:15 AM

I saw Jim Vance (newscaster) at one many years ago.

by Anonymousreply 143May 10, 2016 8:20 AM

So many twits here.

Please shut down this thread immediately as nearly all the AA bashing is incorrect and could influence others (celeb or not) to avoid seeking help at an AA meeting,

by Anonymousreply 144May 10, 2016 1:54 PM

I've never been to a worse meeting than Perry Street Workshop. What a cramped, terrible space for a meeting. And boring people.

It's hard to believe celebrities would bother with Perry Street, although PSH seems like the kind of boring frump who would fit in there.

by Anonymousreply 145May 10, 2016 2:53 PM

I went to Perry Street twice after I quit smoking. I'd rather drink than sit in that foul, stench-infested room.

by Anonymousreply 146May 10, 2016 2:59 PM

Imagine 40 people sitting on hard metal chairs in a room the size of a studio apartment. And the room smells. That's Perry Street. Oh and you have to get there an hour early to reserve a seat.

by Anonymousreply 147May 10, 2016 3:26 PM

My buddy went to one, and I got to know the 'doctor' who fronted the groups. He was also a drug addict. Michael Jordan had a huge coke problem, and the rest of the group contained many other Chicago atheletes.

Michael also gambled on games he played. Huge Scandal. That's why they forced him out of bball for awhile, and his father got 'murdered.'

by Anonymousreply 148May 10, 2016 3:29 PM

My body doesn't tolerate alcohol. One drink, I can do. Mixed. Not strong.

Two drinks and I am collapsed over the toilet, heaving my guts out. Oh, Gawd. So sick.

I used to hate it. A lot. But then I heard from friends about AA meetings. Heaving over a toilet honestly sounds better.

by Anonymousreply 149May 10, 2016 4:04 PM

R149 tell your friends to stop drugging your drinks.

by Anonymousreply 150May 10, 2016 4:10 PM

r148 any Blackhawks?

by Anonymousreply 151May 10, 2016 5:02 PM

R144 thinks its DL's job to defend AA.

by Anonymousreply 152May 10, 2016 5:06 PM

I'm in AA and I have three years dry, but still smoke weed.

by Anonymousreply 153May 11, 2016 1:17 AM

Congratulations, R153!

by Anonymousreply 154May 11, 2016 1:29 AM

YAY R153

by Anonymousreply 155May 11, 2016 1:46 AM

many in AA and 4specially NA condone pot

by Anonymousreply 156May 11, 2016 1:46 AM

Uh no they don't 156,but nice try.

by Anonymousreply 157May 11, 2016 1:47 AM

" maryjuana maintenance "

by Anonymousreply 158May 11, 2016 1:51 AM

I seen a gay porn star in an AA meeting in Las Vegas...... But other than that no celebs My current AA meeting in my current city usually has this old Polish drunk priest, an old geezer with smelly feet, a frau human resource worker alchie/major pill popper, we used to have this funny black guy that would come but he got in an argument with some fat crazy fibromyalgia frau and she called him an asshole and she and the human resource frau said he made them feel unsafe. Then there is this bulldyke with a shaved head that is on shitloads of psych pills that always looks dazed and confused, some old guy in a wheelchair. Another older and stern authoritarian man. Some super religious middle aged latino man that always carries around a bible. A sweet ex prostitute that was sexually abused as a child that just got out of jail. A methed out woman with tattoos that always looks like she is pissed at being there. A mid 30's woman that is attractive but I think she has social phobia because she rarely talks. This body builder who also goes to anger management classes. A "slow" but very friendly chronic drunk driver who was arrested doing something very stupid and was publicly humiliated in the local media.

No one really famous and very few professionals that I have seen go to AA. I see mostly non college educated people that make under 30,000 a year. Mostly working class,mostly poor, and some people on the edges of society.

by Anonymousreply 159May 12, 2016 1:34 AM

I've seen a politician's wife in a meeting, it's not a secret to anyone that the poor dear has a problem.

Also, I've seen and talked with one of the most famous and accomplished Rock performers. Also well known that he's in recovery. Aren't most of them, the ones that didn't die prematurely?

I'm sorry if that's a tease, but it's as far as I'll go.

by Anonymousreply 160May 12, 2016 2:07 AM

I was having lunch with a fellow from a Caribbean island. I thought it was safe to say that I knew an old guy from his island who was in recovery.

My luncheon companion insisted that he knew who I meant. I said, but there are a couple million people on that island, so how could you know? Neither of us stated who it was by name, but he was very convincing. So, even if you think being vague is protecting someone's anonymity, sometimes it is not.

by Anonymousreply 161May 12, 2016 2:14 AM

starfucker central. but subtle, oh so subtle.

by Anonymousreply 162May 12, 2016 2:21 AM

AA works for some people not all. Who knows why? Let it alone, don't go if you don't want to. I think there's something called Rational Recovery for those who don't like AA. And the LGBT Center in NYC has agnostic/atheistic AA meetings listed for non-religious types. And there's therapy. AA is cheap and large so it does help those with little money to pay for private therapy. I'm glad it's helped some people.

by Anonymousreply 163May 12, 2016 9:57 AM

Rational Recovery was founded by a woman whose point was that people could still drink "in moderation." She's in prison now, after she drove while drunk and killed someone.

There are other methods of stopping drinking. But people don't want to stop drinking. They want to keep drinking, but "act normal." Some can do this. But not the majority, who end up drinking just as often, and as much, as before.

The main obstacle everyone seems to have to AA, and all the other 12-Step programs, is that recovery is based on reliance on a Higher Power. And NO ONE wants to accept that the cure for alcoholism in remission is spiritual in nature. They will do anything to avoid this, and are in perpetual resentment against it.

Another thing: I have never, ever met anyone in the program, who, when they first came, wasn't in a towering rage, most of the time.

I have been clean and sober now for well over 30 years, and I still go to meetings. When people I meet ask why, my response is, "Why would you not want to go to a place where people love you?" I've never had any support from going to bars. Never.

Also, a lot of people who come into the program are determined to do it their way. Fine. I hope it works for them. Many of these disappear. Some go back to drinking. Some go back to drinking and are able to manage. Some die. Some just go to other meetings. Some move out of town. I moved to Hawai'i from New York when I was a bit less than 2 years sober. I came back to New York for Christmas over a year later, and ran into an acquaintance at a meeting, who asked, "Where have you been? Haven't seen you around lately?"

I hope everyone here finds ways of living that work for them.

by Anonymousreply 164May 12, 2016 12:41 PM

Am I too late for the family thing?

by Anonymousreply 165May 12, 2016 12:55 PM

AA may work for millions of people, for me though; NO. I'm not into group activities, particularly self degradation.

by Anonymousreply 166May 12, 2016 12:59 PM

I went to NA for a poppers addiction and they laughed me out of the room.

by Anonymousreply 167May 12, 2016 1:26 PM

I only attend secular AA groups now. My home group got way too fundamental.

by Anonymousreply 168May 12, 2016 1:44 PM

I've been sober so long I've seen stars from the Golden Age of Hollywood in meetings but I'd never divulge their names.

Anyone here in AA who thinks its ok to ignore our commitment to anonymity is not spiritually fit and needs a kick ass sponsor.

Your life depends on it. Good luck to all who struggle.

by Anonymousreply 169May 12, 2016 1:54 PM

:::I have been clean and sober now for well over 30 years, and I still go to meetings. When people I meet ask why, my response is, "Why would you not want to go to a place where people love you?" I've never had any support from going to bars. Never.::

I sat at a big community table in a crowded sandwich shop in my city and there were three recovery queens doing what I have come to learn is "taking the inventory" of other men in their gay AA group and they WERE mentioning names and they WERE being remarkably judgmental and I was so glad to snap a photo and who them to my partner who has been in recovery for decades (he's older and he didn't recognize the young queens) and a colleague who was about their age. Said colleague: "Oh no, the big one is one of my BEST FRIENDS. I am going to HAVE to talk to him about this."

So, I'm glad you feel like "people love you," 164, but I am thinking maybe people are the same horrible examples of humanity wherever they are, bars OR AA.

by Anonymousreply 170May 12, 2016 5:07 PM

Obvs supposed to have said "show them to my partner" and when I mentioning the trio naming names, I should have made it clear that they were using last names as well. Not initials. I guess that's what happens when you continue your AA relationships into your personal lives.

by Anonymousreply 171May 12, 2016 5:31 PM

R164 I've been sober almost 20 years and agree with everything you say. People don't suddenly walk thru the door and boom become decent human beings. It took me about 10 years before I stopped gossiping about what I saw at meetings. It made me feel like a big shot or important. I got to a point where I realized how much damage gossiping does to those around you.

Another thing is just because someone is in AA or works a program means in no way they speak for other members. I've experienced the best and the worst of humanity in the rooms,much like outside them as well.

by Anonymousreply 172May 12, 2016 5:45 PM

R164 that

by Anonymousreply 173May 12, 2016 9:12 PM

R164 Rational Recovery was not founded by the lady who ended up in jail for drunk driving. That person is now dead and was the founder of Moderration Management, a totally different programs. Get youready facts straight.

by Anonymousreply 174May 12, 2016 9:15 PM

I'm not drink, I'm typing on the bus and it's bouncing all over the place.

by Anonymousreply 175May 12, 2016 9:19 PM

Well I didn't have any problem, except there was someone who would sit during meetings with earbuds and listen to Skrillex. But it was so turned so loud you could here it it the meeting. I said something to this person and then an oldertimer called me out for taking his inventory.

by Anonymousreply 176May 12, 2016 10:14 PM

I could not stand having to submit every life decision to my sponsor and the group. It may work for some people, but I would rather not have so much input on every aspect of my life.

Do celebs have to run the same gauntlet? Or do they get to take jobs and travel without having to clear it?

by Anonymousreply 177May 13, 2016 12:52 AM

R177, if you sponsor wants that kind of control, get another sponsor!

by Anonymousreply 178May 14, 2016 2:33 AM

control is the thing in AA

by Anonymousreply 179May 14, 2016 2:35 AM

R178, all my sponsors were like that...if they were one's who actually spoke to me.

The program is not for everyone. It is like driving--to do it well requires a certain level of denial. Without denial, no one would drive...or stay in AA.

by Anonymousreply 180May 14, 2016 2:37 AM

Yeah, I know how sponsors can be controlling like that. I don't know where that comes from. It's not in the literature anywhere.

by Anonymousreply 181May 14, 2016 2:41 AM

R181--It is how you show a sponsor that you have done your first step. You show that you accept your life is unmanageable by getting help managing it.

by Anonymousreply 182May 14, 2016 2:44 AM

The theatrical texting, Instagramming and Facebooking has to be some of the cuntiest behavior I've seen in meetings. During meetings.

by Anonymousreply 183May 14, 2016 2:58 AM

R182. That is how some people interpret the first step, I guess, but I think that's crazy.

[italic]Step 3 is: "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a higher power, as we understood that higher power."[/italic]

I think it's foolishness to turn your life over to a sponsor, someone with perhaps a year or two of sobriety. Some random fool that knows nothing about you? Oy. You turn your will and lives over to a higher power. Not another person. It's one of the things I found frustrating about AA because there was a lot of foolishness with sponsors taking a bigger role than I think they should.

by Anonymousreply 184May 14, 2016 3:06 AM

AA is just like any other group that is a social circle. In it you will find decent people and you will find cunts. The sponsorship thing is funny to me, because some of the people that can sponsor you are complete failures in many areas of their lives, but have managed to do only one thing consistently, and that is to stay sober. Some of these sponsors try to tell you how to live your life, while they have failed miserably at living their own. An AA is sponsor should not be offering life coaching services. All that a sponsor is supposed to do is guide you through steps 1 through 12, which are a suggested part of recovery. I personally feel that AA is a great alternative for people who have genuinely lost the ability to drink responsibly, and are alcoholics, but that's it. It's not a place to go to because you don't know how to live as a responsible adult. If you can't live as a responsible adult once you are over the age of 18, then you need a lot more help than what AA can offer.

by Anonymousreply 185May 14, 2016 3:34 AM

R183, that battle, about texting in inappropriate places, is lost I'm afraid. Movies, Church, AA meetings, etc.

by Anonymousreply 186May 14, 2016 3:42 AM

Well, the worst behavior in meetings is the sanctimonious shares. You can't blame people for texting if they have to sit through those boring shares.

by Anonymousreply 187May 14, 2016 1:48 PM

The average AA member in the US has an 11th grade education.

by Anonymousreply 188May 14, 2016 1:53 PM

R188, Is that true or just vitriol? If true, can you support it with a link? It wouldn't surprise me.

by Anonymousreply 189May 14, 2016 2:30 PM

R189 I don't have a link, I read it somewhere online. But I do remember reading that a study found those who do well in AA are under-educated white males who respond well to an an authoritarian model of recovery.

by Anonymousreply 190May 14, 2016 3:20 PM

Here it is:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 191May 14, 2016 3:35 PM

Such bullshit r190.

by Anonymousreply 192May 14, 2016 6:12 PM

Read the link right above your post R192

by Anonymousreply 193May 14, 2016 6:31 PM

No stats are kept on AA members. .

by Anonymousreply 194May 15, 2016 2:31 AM

Does anyone know the thirteenth step?

by Anonymousreply 195May 15, 2016 2:34 AM

My home group has a lot of Broadway actors (who I used to be star struck by), but what comes to mind is being in a meeting with a major A list star. They just sat there and I thought how lonely it must be to go to meetings and not be able to share for fear of someone selling your story.

I'll admit to gossiping a little with my sponsor (about people there, famous or not - because it is people we know), but would never divulge outside of that.

by Anonymousreply 196May 15, 2016 2:47 AM

Doug Stanhope, on AA

A bit cunty, but he has a point; it's why it doesn't work for everyone. Not everyone is in that mindset.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 197May 15, 2016 5:09 AM

Does anyone else feel like the anonymity of AA shouldn't be that big a deal, at least when it comes to naming names (I don't condone sharing the stories that AA members share about themselves in any circumstance). Are there really a lot of people who think less of someone because that person is in AA?

by Anonymousreply 198May 15, 2016 5:25 AM

r198 In a perfect world you might be right. The problem is not that the people named might be embarrassed. It's that the addict who has never attended a meeting might be less likely to do so if they knew it could become public knowledge.

I'd hate for some celebrity thinking about getting help to say "fuck it" after reading this board. but if they end up driving drunk and running over one of you people who named names, it will only reenforce my belief in karma and a higher power.

by Anonymousreply 199May 15, 2016 7:45 AM

R198, I learned something interesting here in DL. I learned that there are some people, and not a small number, who think all alcoholics are awful people. And there are even more people who think that maybe alcoholics can be "fixed", but drug addicts will always be liars, theives, and morally unfit and week. Granted, these are people who are either mentally ill or ignorant or both, but it is interesting that they are no doubt a fair sample of society. So, I'm afraid that anonymity is still lmportand.

by Anonymousreply 200May 15, 2016 3:31 PM

[R199] and [R200], I see your points, but I wonder if the emphasis on anonymity helps send the message, both to AA members and to the world at large, that working on managing your alcoholism is something to be embarrassed about. It's similar to how many of us feel about closeted gay celebrities -- if only more of them would come out, other gay people would feel more comfortable coming out, and the world at large would realize that homosexuality is more pervasive and normal than they realized.

by Anonymousreply 201May 15, 2016 7:01 PM

R201 You're writing this in 2016. Alcoholism, addiction, and mental illness used to be treated like secrets. Kind of like sexuality.

It's good we are getting rid of the stigma. The way you can help do that is to learn a bit about these programs and what they offer and at some point, suggest to a friend who might need it to check a meeting out. Better yet, offer to go with them. Violating the privacy of celebrities who are seeking help is not a way to end the stigma. If they want to discuss it, they can.

Tomorrow, more Americans will have their stomachs surgically removed (and will suffer long term consequences of nutrient depravation) than will attend their first Overeaters Anonymous meeting. Stigma still exists.

by Anonymousreply 202May 18, 2016 11:21 AM

Sickening to read most of the crap in this thread. Anonymity is protection for many reasons not just for who is at a meeting but for life outside. Imagine trying to land a job only to be outed and not hired. Or be hired and have a client find out that your a drunk and you lose a sale. Of a potential date finds out you were a drunk before you could tell them. It goes on and on. It's each persons own right to break their own anonymity or keep it. But there are lots of people who go to meetings and are still using, or lying or lonely or don't get the honesty part of AA. Lots of folks go cause they don't fit in anywhere else, and will fail so they will take AA's good name with them. Not one comment on here about the good folks that people have met. Sponsors so seriously someone takes the time out of their life to listen to you piss and moan and they have the problem. Seriously sponsorship is about AA not your relationship, job, sex issues. If you wish to disclose those things go for it but a sponsor isn't there for advice they are their to direct you back to the steps and AA so you can find the answer with some time, prayer or meditation.

Lots of sick people in this world in general really and the folks that attended and quit on their own good on you, i hope you really did change your ways, i doubt it from what I've ready but hopefully something changed or your merely just dry and still the same person. Or heck maybe you weren't a drunk in the first place and you could quit or slow down on your own. Some can't, i couldn't.

Most of the rips I've read on here are resentment filled rants it would seem from those who were to good for AA and never fit in and missed the fellowship point, or weren't drunks in the first place. It doesn't matter how long I've been sober but it's likely longer then most of you have been alive or old enough to drink. The AA program works it's flawless and so long as it helps one person who helps another then it works. There will always be predators, liars, cheaters and so on in AA and go fucking figure outside of AA on the streets at the coffee shop, theater and mall.

What is AA supposed to do about some asshole in the program that pissed one of you off or dated a new chick or guy that was new. Shit happens sucks, but if you went to AA and got hooked up with retards then you clearly weren't there to quit drinking. Anytime a newcomer comes in they are given a few suggestions, go to meetings, get a big book, get a sponsor, do the steps, pray, and work with other drunks. It doesn't say get laid, talk to people about your money issues or a job. No where does it say this. It clearly states that if you have an issue with drinking we have a way out, that is it nothing more nothing less. There is much more but most of you that have written have clearly missed that. As a result of AA and doing the suggestions that the old timers passed on I have a great job, a wife and three wonderful kids, a home and can live life on life's terms again without getting drunk or raging out. It's worked for me and I swear by it, it worked for my sponsor who is 2 years younger them me. I attend meetings in Canada weekly home group I don't miss if I can help it. I talk to drunks daily but also have a great life outside of AA that works in conjunction. Am i perfect hell no, have I yelled at folks, talked about people, even lied to my wife yes. But I work my ass of not to, but part of that is being human we are born flawed. So with that entirely said some of yo need to straighten out and learn what your mommies told you if you have nothing nice to say........shut the fuck up!

by Anonymousreply 203May 30, 2016 11:09 PM

R203 " Seriously sponsorship is about AA not your relationship, job, sex issues. If you wish to disclose those things go for it but a sponsor isn't there for advice they are their to direct you back to the steps and AA so you can find the answer with some time, prayer or meditation."

In the program, I can assure you that sponsors are very interested in relationship, job and sex issues. They are part of the unmanageability of life that sponsors weigh in on.

The program as it is actually practiced is not the ideal written about in the Big Book. It is dirty and messy. Sponsors are there in the trenches trying to help people get their lives back together.

by Anonymousreply 204May 30, 2016 11:44 PM

Sponsors have no training.

by Anonymousreply 205June 15, 2016 4:12 PM

Anyone who is thinking about going to AA needs to know these facts first:

1) AA sponsors have no training or credentials 2) No one in AA is legally bound to confidentiality. "Anonymity" is a myth and not actually enforceable. 3) the people who run AA meetings have no training or credentials 4) AA works best for under-educated white males who respond well to authoritarian "treatment" model 5) "AA World Services" will not lift a finger to help you if you experience sexual abuse from someone at a meeting

by Anonymousreply 206June 15, 2016 6:00 PM

"For us of A.A. these are dangerous exceptions. We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it."

You are not entitled to your feelings in AA. NO empathy.

by Anonymousreply 207November 30, 2018 10:23 PM

R206 and other are trolls who know nothing of AA. I have met many famous people for one reason or another at AA meetings in NYC and of course they will remain anonymous unless they write a book or come out publically like Judy Collins who is a wonderful woman. I also know professionals from my career related contacts and they too remain anonymous within our professional setting. DL can be a bitter cynical place full of people sounding off about things they know nothing about. If they are not alcoholics they need not know anything about AA other than it can be a great assistance to alcoholics who desire to stop drinking.

by Anonymousreply 208November 30, 2018 10:59 PM
Loading
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.

×

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!