Frau alert! Meghan, Duchess of Sussex has launched a lifestyle brand, Part 2

Does she give tutorials on how to get that "dangling tendrils" messy hair look?

Jams and Jellies that smell like her vagina?

She should have called it "Poop" and used that awful hat as a logo.

You're being unfair. Opening an online store with zero inventory leaves buyers begging for...anything. It's a new retsiling concept the Duchess is developing. Watch this space et cetera.

What kind of credibility does she even have in this space? I could see it possibly working if she trots the invisi-kids out and centers her efforts around kid and family friendly (ha!) recipes, though it's highly likely she has no clue whatsoever her kids even like.

I appreciate that Harry and Meghan are trying to make their own way ( mostly), but she always sounds like she's talking to herself or trying to convince herself of the things she talks about. I know I shouldn't but I do feel bad for Harry at times. Being a part of that family and institution would be hard I think.

She's just throwing the pasta at the wall to see if it sticks.

Next stop, The Home Shopping Channel

Yeah, they're making their own way on the back of their titles. No one would give a shit about the Poisonous Pair without them.

Zero inventory but a big old fanfare announcing a business is very Sheree from Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Maybe she's waiting for a huge shipment from AliExpress to repackage and label as her own?

It will all be overpriced useless shit from the Montecito piece of shit.

This will never see the light of day. It will just quietly go away like everything else she's claimed was in the works.

[quote]Zero inventory but a big old fanfare announcing a business is very Sheree from Real Housewives of Atlanta.

How dreadful.

I really want an interview about the thought process that got her here. Like Meghan Markle does cooking show on Netflix. Yeah OK no one thinks you actually cook. But you needed content to not get fired and you can pump an entire season out in 2 days. But to then also go "and I'm starting a jam, linen, and table place card holder business off the back of it".

[quote]I really want an interview about the thought process that got her here.

She's crazy. Stop trying to understand her thought process. Because there isn't one.

^^omfg so true!!

R4 Not harder than being married to Meghan.

He's a seriously ugly dude. She's obviously a fan of plastic surgery, but why doesn't she make him get any?

Failing, Foolish, F'd in the head Frau.

American Epic Failure - Montecito

This will not end well. Harry's paying for all this, buying the awards, buying blocks of time at SXwhatever, photo ops, etc etc, it's all coming out of his pocket. The reason why she married him to begin with.

They had some big earnings years — his bestseller book, the original contracts with Netflix and Spotify. The trouble is that the money has stopped pouring in, yet they are living as if the money continues to flow. 2024 and 2025 will be tough years for them because they haven’t been able to get more lucrative contracts and the income from the book is over. Since they seem to have no insight about why their past projects have failed (except his tell-all book), they are likely to make mistakes like this one. And they don’t seem to know how to economize, although they know how to ask friends for favors, it seems.

If they sell the Montecito house, that would be around $10 mil, no?

I wonder if she wanted to name the company American Royal or American Royalty because Riviera makes no sense

Do they really own the Montecito house? It might be rented. I’d need to see the receipts.

Santa Barbara is known as the American Riviera to some people - mostly realtors. Those who live in the area never refer to it like that. Once again, Mrs Henry gets it wrong, It's a stupid and awkward name. It's a lower to middle class version of what she thinks a klassy person would name their company.

P retentious

O ver worked

O rdinary

P ointless

So she started a business with no inventory based on high end home goods is that right?

Jam is high end?

Will she have to appear on morning shows to promote it? Will she roll out the *feminist* story about the dish soap commercial each time, even as she hawks home/kitchen goods mainly targeted towards women?

She’ll never beat Bonne Maman blueberry preserves. Not no way, not no how. Now, get her off my screen, and everyone else’s for that matter. No one likes her and that’s the truth!

Naked desperation is not aspirational.

Jams are especially cheap to make but they sell at a high price point.

I expect the Duchess of Doofus to have a lot of products like that. The question is, how far will she undercut Goop and Martha Stewart prices?

The Wars of the Frau Crap.

Markle nut butter. I can't wait.

Will she make it out of whatever's left of Henry's nuts?

This is the kind of crap that would appeal to Karens and trad wives. Who usually happen to be racist conservative white women and Trump supporters.

The kind of fan base a strong feminist democrat WOC would not want buying their products. Rachel has never been good with being coherent, consistent or cohesive. The Underpants Gnomes from South Park had a much more successful business model.

Its kind of funny. Because if they were on speaking terms her father-in-law would actually be able to help her with this given he managed to run a pretty profitable high end foods business.

Will all the jam be beige?

They are just a pair of kids playing make-believe on a Saturday morning. This venture will vanish into nothingness soon enough. Remember Travelyst? His involvement with BetterUp?

I’d rather buy some organic goods from Highgrove than some jam bearing the label of that yachting skank.

Kate doesn't look very aspirational here. She looks out of it and still smokes, so maybe a wellness brand isn't the best fit for her?

Celebrity hawkers, if they’re actresses, they’re pretty and you like their movies therefore you buy their perfume. Or they’ve unlocked some secret to purity/wellness and you liked their movies, therefore you buy their soap.

It’s different with Megs. She has pushed the victim narrative, poor lil’ old me at the mercy of those cold blooded racist royals for years. That’s her brand. Doesn’t matter how many speeches she gives about female empowerment or racial diversity, her brand is victimhood and her fans relate to that, like Trump voters listening to Trump. So yes, her fans will buy her overpriced products because every purchase will be an affirmation of support that she (they) have been wronged! If she get get her supply chain worked out (a big if) and do all the other stuff necessary to run a mail order business, then yes, it could work.

I know I'm getting sidetracked, however did Kate always have one side of her top lip sit much lower than the other when she speaks? A local instagrifter I know now has this and it seems to be a side-effect/sign of poorly applied Botox, which the instagrifter has been using for at least 12 years. Why can't Kate afford to get netter work done? Her Covid facelift and recent overdone eye-lift were shit, too.

And Naomi looks completely different to the face she had in 1992. It's not aging, it's crappy surgeries she didn't need. Her eyes and cheekbones are totally transformed. She doesn't even look like she is related to her former self.

Meghan was not a pretty child, but with several nosejobs and other work, she was presentable until her Ozempic face cave-in. What remedies will she seek and how bad will they turn out? Naomi and Kate have more money and better connections, yet the work they've had done is nothing short of disastrous. Plus, they were beautiful to begin with.

It's already started.

[quote]Will all the jam be beige?

Beige, ill-fitting, and out of season.

She's Hillary Clinton cosplaying in this outfit.

^ At first glance, those look like paw prints.

I expected a pantsuit at, r42. I don't recall Hillary being a fan of floral prints.

Kate's announcement just torpedoed this launch!

That she would wear something ugly is not surprising. What's surprising is that she allowed Harry to have a microphone and actually speak.

r38 It's more complicated than that. The fanbase she has cultivated is not the same as the upmarket customer base she is positioning herself as. Put bluntly doesn't matter how much her fanbase relate to her synthetic victimhood if they don't have the money in sufficient numbers to afford to buy upmarket overpriced tat.

Her mostly POC fan base isn’t buying designer jellies.

I wonder what fans think of all the times she made eyes at William, and only got scarfed or ignored in return.

This might hurt the brand. That's the only way the Harkles would interpret it.

Gee, was there much trust there to be broken, r50? They need to stop having "an insider" or anonymous "spokesperson" giving their statements to the media.

It's precisely because her father-in-law ran a successful estate and still has a more modest one that she's doing this (or planning on doing this - she hasn't actually done anything yet), r33.

I always choose Duchy Originals!

r50 I've honestly been amusing myself the last few hours just picturing Kate going "No... Lets wait until after she's announced American Riviera Orchard ."

Genuine question. After nearly half a decade in California. Has he not learned to apply sunscreen or does he just drink that much?

R47 and r48, I disagree. They will splurge because they’ll be supporting “their girl”. They’ll pay $10 for a jar of jam or more likely, $30 for a gift set of 3 jams. It’s the same principle as any big designer. Can’t afford the couture or fit into the ready to wear but they can afford the lipstick. It won’t be Goop’s client base but it can be viable.

"Her mostly POC fan base isn’t buying designer jellies."

No. But, if it's weed infused jellies, she'll sell a billion!

They might buy the odd jam as a gift, r55, but they won't become regular, repeat customers, which is what a business needs. People buy big designer accessories and cosmetics because that is a "cheap" way to be associated with the luxury designer's inaccessible couture. Meghan has no couture. Meghan is also a damaged brand in herself.

Jesus Christ, even during Kate's funeral you'll all be talking about Harry and Meghan 🙄

R54, hes too dumb to use sunscreen and wear a hat but probably drinks all day as it's not like he has a proper job apart from blabbing and whining. Maybe part of his drinking is explained by this photo, as his wife is too stupid to listen to professionals such as a good stylist, and anyone they do *collaborate* with ends up leaving.

That outfit may actually be on brand, strangely enough. Would she share the same fan-base as Oprah?

[Quote]Would a decent stylist work with her?

Not even the indecent ones do anymore. Markle dropped Jessica Mulroney like a hot potato.

This thread isn't about Catherine, moron at r58, it's about Meghan's mysterious lifestyle brand. Or don't you think there should be a thread on that?

Meghan's new lifestyle brand is news, not hard world news but big pop culture news, it made headlines when it dropped. It's fine to speculate on what will be on offer and how it will all be hawked.

Think product will be released on Monday? How long do “watch this space” splash pages usually stay up?

That blast outfit with the floral fireworks explosions is so unflattering. She looks 6 months pregnant. Wtf?? Does she use a funhouse mirror?

The Meg will be utterly fuming Kate is in the headlines and not her. Expect a pap walk or some bizarre announcement or unveiling in the next few days I reckon.

HAS ANYBODY ASKED HOW MEGHAN IS FEELING?!?

She better grow some shit in her orchard to sell fast.

Her next project

American Riviera Orchard sounds like some kind of in-store brand at... what? Target? Kohl's? JC Penney?

Kohl's for sure.

Imagine the shrieking coming from Montecito as Madame abuses and berates some hapless intern or assistant to get something, anything up on her site to grab attention from the Princess of Wales

Replace "hapless intern or assistant" with "hapless Harry," R71, and you're correct.

[quote]American Riviera Orchard sounds like some kind of in-store brand at... what? Target? Kohl's? JC Penney?

Dollar General

The chief rescue chicken is in a stew!

I have hours, only lonely -- my vengeance is never free.

Cancerous Charles gave Harry a decent handout from the money he inherited when the Queen died. They're fine.

Then Meghan won't mind if ARO bombs, which it will, r76.

Sick attempt at being "clever", by the way.

Will she rebrand to American Riviera "I Don't Have Cancer" Orchard? Or more likely "I might have cancer too".

THIS JUST IN! Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, has been diagnosed with fibromyalgia.

Somebody did a mock website for her new lifestyle brand: [quote]Discover a wide range of merch that I have stolen, copied or grifted for. I can help you showcase who you truly are, a nobody

That's awesome, r80!

Thanks!

You sad fuckers are still obsessed with Meghan even though your precious Kate is dying!

Just the fact that she did not buy permutations of her brand name, the (dot)net, ((dot)org, (dot)shop, etc as well as a few misspellings (River, orchid) shows a lack of foresight.

We're discussing American Riviera Orchard, r82. Why do you want everyone to ignore it? Meghan obviously launched her IG account and website with absolutely no products to get people talking about it.

Catherine isn't necessarily dying, by the way. She has cancer but it appears to have been caught early. Hopefully this will lead to greater awareness of the importance of testing, scanning and research into catching cancers early. It's still a shock to be told you have cancer, though, and Catherine is being very brave and strong.

I love to take the piss but that website, while hilarious, is really fucking mean. LOL. Youch!

Is this Week Two or Three of the Sussex website launch?

^ LOL

You kinda wonder if she doesn't wake up some mornings and just startsscreaming: I don't care, today dammit!

I read Meg is hiring for a CEO for ARO. Anybody need a job?

[quote]You sad fuckers are still obsessed with Meghan even though your precious Kate is dying!

Nobody would even be thinking about her if she wasn’t constantly forcing herself on the public with idiotic stunts like American River Orchard.

[QUOTE]I read Meg is hiring for a CEO for ARO. Anybody need a job?

Isn't this doing it backwards? Cart before the horse, etc...

That either she or one of her people didn't think to register every permutation and misspelling of ARO as r83 suggests only demonstrates the uphill climb the CEO will face. It's such basic Establishing a Brand 101. Just like doing some simple consumer research like focus groups to see how well the ARO name resonates or even makes sense to potential customers.

Somewhere, Catherine St. Laurent, Bill Simmons and a whole host of competent professionals Meghan has left in her wake are laughing up a storm.

What competent person would want to step into the utter shitshow of working for Harry and Meghan?

R82 KGT, you sad psychotic sick depraved whore. You're still with us? Are you still acting like a Karen on Twitter demanding that the Dubai police arrest Louis Tomlinson for saying "fuck" at a concert?

Harry's name appears in the P Diddy case file. Not that Harry is implicated in any of the accusations, he's more a dim piece of bait. Regardless, that document is not something you would want your name associated with, the contents are gross.

Page 63: [quote]Affiliation with, and or sponsorship of Mr. Combs sex-trafficking parties garnered legitimacy and access to celebrities such as famous athletes, political figures, artist, musicians, and international dignitaries like British Royal, Prince Harry.

Harry takes after his Uncle Andrew. The Spares!

Anne was Charles' "spare", r95. More like spoiled, aimless younger son, always looking for a good time, but immensely stupid and easily manipulated.

There is no implication that Harry was involved in anything untoward, and there were also sports stars, politicians, etc. at these parties, and there is no implication that anything untoward went on at these parties. But it does shed a light on Harry's social life in the days when he was sowing his wild oats, a glimpse of which we got in Las Vegas.

Item q. in the Federal complaint against P. Diddy suggests Harry made at least one appearance at his sex parties.

Anne was not the spare, Andrew was, being the next male in line. Since then the rules have been changed so that males do not have precedence in the line of succession, but that was not the case when Charles, Anne, and Andrew were the Royal children.

You misread that, r97. The "celebrities such as famous athletes, political figures, artist, musicians, and international dignitaries like British Royal, Prince Harry" weren't at the sex parties, but Diddy would get people to sponsor them with promises of introductions to famous people like Harry. Otherwise Harry would be under investigation too.

The "sex parties" are described in the case file I posted at r94. They are quite horrible.

Andrew is 12 years younger than Charles, r98. Andrew and Charles were never children together. Harry is only a couple of years younger than William, which is the age gap where you get the kind of sibling rivalry that Harry is gripped by. Andrew does have a younger brother that he grew up with and any sibling neuroses on Andrew's part would have been more directed to Edward.

Anne and Charles did grow up together and Anne has only ever seen her role as supporting her brother in the job that ended up as his lot.

Besides, the whole "spare" thing is only in Harry's head and perhaps a marketing gimmick.

The problem with Andrew is that he never found a role for himself or a cause to support and he was too thick to think of something or for the palace to devise something for him. But, like Harry, he doesn't comprehend his limitations. After an attempt at a career (and good for him), Edward found a purpose in family life and supporting his mother, father and now his brother, and now he has the Duke of Edinburgh award too. Edward was mercilessly pummelled in the press when he was a young man, but the worst he got up to was wanting to act and organising the cringe (but cute) Royal It's a Knockout.

I think Edward is marvellous!

The guy who’s suing P Diddy, his lawyer is a guy named Tyrone Blackburn and he is the one who name dropped Harry. It was a stupid move. Really stupid. The case is horrific.

Andrew had a few roles supplied to him. After a 20 year career in the Navy, he was Trade Ambassador for ten years and after he messed that up, he had that Pitch at the Palace gig, something about finding investors for start ups and apparently took a cut from that. After Prince Philip retired, he accompanied the queen a lot. So he kept busy until Epstein’s NYC arrest broke that scandal open again. The upcoming Netflix movie about the Maitlis interview should finish him off.

r96 Really? I thought the report cited the event as much later in 2022.

R104, I wasn't connecting the Las Vegas stuff with the stuff mentioned in Diddy accuser's file, simply saying that being in Diddy's orbit fits the pattern of the Vegas stuff. Although, having read more of the file, Harry probably wasn't in Diddy's orbit, at least based on what we know now.

To clarify, Anne was "the spare" in the years between her birth and Andrew's birth, i.e., ten years. Then, Andrew became "the spare."

This company is going to sell everything and the ethically quarried marble kitchen sink.

[quote]stationary,

Yeah, this project isn’t going anywhere.

There's no such thing as the "spare", it's some bullshit Harry or his ghostwriter or his publisher came up with to promote the book.

I would love to be a spare. It's all of the fun with none of the pressure. Why can't these idiots get it right?

Imagine if Harry's situation were like Carl Philip of Sweden. He was the heir until Sweden changed the law to absolute primogeniture and now this older sister Victoria is Crown Princess. If this had happened to Harry we'd never heard the end of it.

Anne wasn't really the spare. There were two other males, besides Charles.

I looked over Carl Philip's Wiki page a while ago to see how he compares to Harry. I've read that CP is not the smartest guy (though I have no idea if he is or not), but he has shown interest in things outside of his official duties and he's completed courses of study in Agricultural Management and design in addition to required military courses.

His design pursuits seem like more of an avocation, but he started a successful firm with a partner. In other words CP keeps himself well-occupied. Harry OTOH seems to have little imagination or interests outside of polo, partying, self-promotion, and self-pity. Oh, yeah. Invictus. Created and pre-chewed for him by the Palace and the Ministry of Defense to keep him occupied.

Anne was Charles' only sibling until he was 12, r112. Andrew was born a decade after Charles. That's far too big of an age gap for Andrew to have felt the kind of sibling rivalry Harry tries to rationalise as the "spare" effect. Besides, the fact Andrew (and Edward) came so much later than Charles and Anne suggests he was either a happy surprise of his parents' loving marriage or he was planned because he was "wanted" and he wasn't just popped out so there could be a "spare". The fact Edward also came along a couple of years after Andrew suggests they were the product of love, not because of an alleged need for a spare. In any case, Harry himself was clearly much loved by both his parents.

Charles offered a country property to Harry, on the border of Wales. It’s an organic farm or something so if Harry wanted to take that up, he could’ve. Gentleman farmer is an accepted profession.

Not for Meghan.

When I looked at the title of this thread I thought it said Fraud Alert!

In due course r117, in due course.

As per R111, maybe Carl Philip of Sweden was hard done by the change in succession, but he hit the jackpot in terms of looks and wife (a pin-up girl who seems like a nice person, too). So all around better off than Harry.

Very bad for Markle's Brand Frau:

While Harry’s relationship with Charles is seemingly on the mend, his dynamic with Kate appears to still be rocky. “I’m sure he’s concerned about her as well, but I know that she wants to have nothing to do with them,” royal expert Christopher Andersen exclusively told Us earlier this month.

Of course Kate didn’t tell Harry and Meghan. They’d have leaked it to the press in a heartbeat and somehow still framed it to make it about themselves.

R121, that's what they've tried to do with NOT being told early, and it's an amazing own goal as it makes them look like they're on the outer, which they are. Now people will think they aren't trustworthy, as they should.

People only now getting that the Putrid Pair aren't trustworthy are rather late to the party.

True, r123. But some people are incredibly dense. On SM, the sugars who kept asking where Kate was a week ago are doubling down. Even DL has its own KGTs.

Lengthy incoming: new info about the abdication chaos.... if only they'd bought someone else off....

As the Abdication crisis reached boiling-point in the dying days of 1936, was Wallis Simpson ready and willing to be bought out of her forthcoming marriage to King Edward VIII?

Newly viewed Cabinet documents indicate that, at the height of the crisis, the question of a cash settlement to get rid of the twice-divorced American was actually proposed by her lawyer.

Had the deal been struck it could have had far-reaching consequences lasting down to the present day, 88 years later, resulting in a different monarch occupying the throne – not King Charles.

The proposal mercifully came to nothing. But for a fleeting moment it looked as if, in return for a large sum of money, “The woman I love” would abandon the hapless king to his fate and disappear over the horizon.

The evidence comes in the contemporary account of Sir Horace Wilson, the senior Whitehall mandarin entrusted by prime minister Stanley Baldwin to collate the avalanche of information coming in as the crisis grew.

Though it came to the outside world as a seismic shock, the hurried exit of an errant king and installation of a reliable substitute appeared a seamless process administered with professionalism and dignity.

But according to Wilson’s papers, nothing could be further from the truth – the whole thing was a shambles, one which could have ended with the present Duke of Kent, 88, being crowned king.

What I uncovered was a picture of panic and despair as the clock ticked down to December 11, the day King Edward signed the Instrument of Abdication – among people who should have been better prepared. In all, it took just 25 short days from the moment Edward loftily told the prime minister he was going to marry Mrs Simpson until his ignominious flight to obscurity.

Despite being told that a marriage between the head of the Church of England and a divorcee would precipitate a constitutional crisis, the king was confident he could have his cake and eat it – “you’ll be Queen, Empress of India, the whole bag of tricks” he promised Wallis. And meantime, over in Whitehall, there was a shockingly misplaced confidence that Edward could easily be deflected by financial sanction from taking what seemed an impossible step.

Edward’s battle for the throne was a stratagem, despite all the king-emperor’s resources at his disposal, that he was ill-equipped to handle. But even though the other side boasted the combined might of the Church, Parliament and courtiers, it struggled to keep on top of the swiftly unravelling narrative. From Horace Wilson’s papers emerges an intriguingly different story to the one which historians have repeated over the past eight decades.

Those in the know were aware from the moment Edward inherited the throne in January 1936 that there was a problem over his relationship with Mrs Simpson. That he had caved in to her superior will was well-known. So too was King George V’s prediction that his son and heir would not last the course as sovereign.

Yet no formal preparations were made – no Plan B formulated. And so in Wilson’s papers we see the first signs of the wheels falling off…

December 5, 1936 The secretary of state for air, Lord Swinton, suddenly alerts Downing Street that Edward has ordered two air planes of the King’s Flight to be prepared for take-off – destination Zurich. Though by this time talks had taken place in Whitehall about the possibility of abdication and the king’s departure from these shores, this news comes as a bolt from the blue.

It is the first the prime minister has heard of any flight plan and it sets alarm bells ringing. In recent days, as part of his power-play, Edward has demanded from Baldwin the right to broadcast an appeal for the public’s support – he would declare his love for Wallis and tell his subjects he wanted to marry her. The nation, he was confident, would rally behind him.

This unexpected manoeuvre rattles everyone from Baldwin to BBC boss Lord Reith, and is quickly stamped on. Now, with Swinton’s report, it looks as though, in revenge, Edward is preparing to quit the country without bothering to sign the Instrument of Abdication papers which are, historically and constitutionally, vital to the monarchy’s continuity.

Ironically, though this is the first Downing Street has heard about the air planes (one for Edward, one for his luggage) the United Press news agency is already on to it. Harry Flory, its European news manager, had cabled his stringer in Zurich to stand by for Edward’s clandestine arrival. Flory reckons that Wallis will fly from Nice to meet him there.

What they plan to do then – this king on the run, his twice-divorced mistress – nobody has the first clue. But Britain’s position in the world would be severely compromised by such reckless behaviour, and he has to be stopped in his tracks.

The news of the two planes’ readiness has come from an RAF pilot, clearly concerned that in taking off with his royal passenger aboard he was about to do something illegal. Downing Street officials scurry to hurry up the Instrument of Abdication paperwork so that Edward can be forced to sign it before being allowed to set foot on the plane. At the same time, an urgent message is sent to Fort Belvedere, where Edward is closeted with Baldwin.

The prime minister confronts the sovereign with his escape plan – and the planes are cancelled.

December 6, 1936 Baldwin receives a letter from Winston Churchill, who has publicly aligned himself with Edward (and will later write HM’s Abdication speech broadcast by the BBC), warning that the king “is very near breaking-point. He had two marked and prolonged ‘black outs’ in which he completely lost the thread of his conversation. His mental exhaustion was painful to see.”

Already suspected of plotting to create a King’s Party of MPs should Edward refuse to abdicate, thus forcing the government to resign, Churchill adds threateningly: “It would be a most cruel and wrong thing to extort a decision from him in his present state”. In other words – do you seriously want a General Election?

Elsewhere, others are questioning Edward’s mental state. “He is, I believe,” writes the diplomat and author Sir Robert Bruce Lockhart, “suffering from dementia erotica”. At the same time Virginia Woolf describes in the New Statesman the king’s “sexual difficulty”.

In her excellent history of the Abdication, The People’s King, historian Susan Williams explains: “Edward’s adoration only made sense if it was seen as an obsession – as a pathology, rather than love”. Lord Dawson of Penn, the royal doctor who’d attended King George V on his deathbed, describes Edward’s attraction to Mrs Simpson as a “medical obsession”.

But both politicians and Whitehall mandarins are simply not equipped to absorb the attendant complexities of this diagnosis, and thus play the ball badly from hereon in.

December 7, 1936 Horace Wilson receives a visit from Theodore Goddard, Wallis’s solicitor. Wilson notes, incredulously: “After some further talk, I discovered that what Mr Goddard was really saying, in effect, was what price could be paid to Mrs Simpson for clearing out.”

The civil servant, veteran of many cabinet crises, finds himself speechless at the thought of providing a massive pay-off to get rid of the problem. Goddard drops the idea like a hot potato when he realises he’s overstepped the mark.

Later in the day, further evidence emerges of the rising panic among courtiers and civil servants. Sir Thomas Barnes, the Treasury Solicitor, suggests a way of bypassing the perceived problem of the Duke of York as a replacement sovereign.

Primogeniturily speaking, Prince Bertie is next up for the throne – but within the corridors of power grave doubts are being cast over his suitability. In younger days he’d suffered panic attacks, his stutter is seen to be a presentational flaw, and doctors have clandestinely conducted a psychological review as to his mental fitness to rule.

Famously, Bertie is to cry on his mother’s shoulder when he learns he is to be the next king. It does not bode well for the future of the monarchy.

“Barnes has made a suggestion which seems to me interesting and hopeful...,” writes another heavyweight mandarin, Sir Maurice Gwyer, to Horace Wilson. “It is that Queen Mary should be invited to become Queen Regent until all these troubles are past. The difficulty about an immediate succession is that a substantial part of the country might still favour the present king, and [will] regard his brother as a sort of interloper.”

Skirting around the unspoken doubts as to Bertie’s suitability, Gwyer adds helpfully,”[Queen Mary] would re-establish the reputation of the monarchy.”

Left unsaid – but later to be discovered buried in an early history of Queen Elizabeth II – is who they thought could eventually succeed the Regent Mary. In his 1958 book The Work Of The Queen, the distinguished royal historian and speechwriter Dermot Morrah, a man better placed than any to know the inside story, wrote: “It was not a legal necessity that the person selected [to sit on the throne] should be the next in hereditary order. Veteran officers of the royal household remember how [the Duke of York] shrank from imposing the burden eventually on his daughter.

“At that time the only prince in the line of succession who had a son was the Duke of Kent – and the draftsmen preparing the Abdication bill considered what to do [should Kent be named king].” So in these plans, Bertie would be bypassed – probably to his great relief – and his youngest brother, Georgie, would become King George VI in his place.

In the present day that would make his son, the current Duke of Kent, King George VII – rather than the present incumbent. And therefore no Queen Elizabeth II in our history books – quite something to contemplate.

December 8, 1936 News of the turmoil in Whitehall has reached America. Edward has been threatened with being cut off from his Civil List cash-flow, but, though politicians think this will bring the king to heel, it does little to deter him from his purpose. Sir Ronald Lindsay, British ambassador in Washington, writes: “The question of the King’s marriage has monopolised [everything] – quite unparalleled in my experience. Nobody thinks of anything else. The effect of this affair is very deplorable. The bonds [between the UK and the US] have been severed, and the loss thereby incurred to Anglo-American relations is very severe.”

This only serves to ramp up the temperature in Whitehall even further, and various ideas start to be tossed about as to what to do with the king to deflect him from his my-way-or-the-highway stance. One such was to send him on what Sir Horace Wilson delicately describes as “a holiday”.

This was a plan to bundle Edward aboard a naval warship which would then be dispatched on a nine-month tour of duty. “It might be a good thing if HMS Renown [he means HMS Repulse] were to show herself in Table Bay, Bombay, Singapore and in the charge of a good commander and trusted officers,” Wilson notes.

In other words, put the king under naval house arrest and send him off round the world. Quite how this would be achieved, given the king’s increasing detachment from duty and responsibility, is not noted – and, in any event, Renown was laid up in dry dock for an extensive refit, while her sister ship, Repulse, was assisting in the evacuation of refugees from the Spanish Civil War.

This hopeless idea is a measure of the crisis-thinking which now prevailed, and, in any case, it was all too late. Events were now moving at a colossal rate and only three days after Wilson’s suggestion of a holiday, Edward was gone.

None of the crazy ideas spun in those dying days – Queen Mary as Regent, the Duke of Kent as the next King, Edward’s enforced “holiday” – comes to anything.

Both sides come out of it badly. Winston Churchill expected a more resilient king – and maybe an opportunity for him, Churchill, politically – but in the end is forced to conclude “Our cock won’t fight”. The king was perceived to have run away and, as a consequence, Churchill’s political reputation is severely dented, if only for a time.

Whitehall, well aware of the colossal hold Mrs Simpson had over the king while failing to understand it, did little in the early days to form a coherent strategy to deflect him from his suicide mission. Nothing had ever happened quite like this in history, and they were woefully unprepared.

Prime minister Baldwin, by every account, played a pretty straight bat. When the king finally realised the game was up, he wept – and Baldwin wept with him. But, in this instance, the premier was the servant of the people, not the crown.

The best they could manage was to deny Wallis a place on the throne beside Edward, but the damage done during those three weeks in December 1936 cast a long shadow over the British monarchy – a shadow which hovers eerily to this day.

Christopher Boozy has just been accused by his own daughter of verbal, physical and sexual abuse.

This came out in the mid 90s after some classified documents were released - and others due to be unsealed were not released.

Compelling, with fantastic music.

R124, please start your own Edward thread. This one is about American Riviera Orchard and related Sussex shenanigans.

^^Oh fuck off. Fascinating stuff R129. Cunt struck, Charles labeled it.

R130, I'm amazed. He seems like such a nice guy.

The Edward story had to go somewhere and Wallis and Megahari seem to have a little in common, at least to begin with. Though obviously Wallis was discrete and stylish throughout her lifetime.

Will she be selling cat litter on her site?

Isn't that what happens to suddenly famous people who have it all and then bite the hand that feeds them? They end up selling cat litter.

It's called Katherine Heigl-itis.

Katherine hit the jackpot with Grey's Anatomy and a couple of back-to-back rom-coms and then she treated people badly and trashed her tv show and movies. Her lucrative career and fame then dried up and she ended up doing cat litter commercials.

Meghan, The Duchess of Fresh Step

It's been two weeks since the 9-square Instagram was launched and since then there has been no further news. What's the point of launching the IG account if there's no follow up? The only thing I can think of is that she did it for some tactical reason, perhaps because she knew there was going to be an update of the royal website and wanted to oblige them to link the ARO website and IG account, like they did with sussex.com.

r136 Well she's trademarked for "pet accessories" according to PEOPLE. So yeah probably.

She should sell douches. She knows so many, she might actually be expert.

Thank you, r125. Fascinating account of the abdication. I hadn't read that he secretly ordered two planes to flee the country. Imagine if the RAF pilot had thought nothing of it and didn't report it to his superiors.

[QUOTE]In the present day that would make his son, the current Duke of Kent, King George VII – rather than the present incumbent.

Can you imagine Queen Maria Christina instead of Princess Michael of Kent and how insufferable she'd be? 😂 And her son Freddie, the bug-eyed King after that.

Near miss, R140. Wouldn't have been them. Would have been the living but ancient, Duke of Kent and his wife, Katherine. Seen here with the Queen at the Platinum Jubilee.

Oops ^ v

His heir(s)

His father, who for that lot, wasn't bad looking (and said to be bisexual.)

The article which littered this thread and that has nothing to do with the Sussexes is a load of crap. For that bullshit scenario to have ever been contemplated would have required bypassing the first, second, third and fourth in line to the throne.

[quote] Anne was Charles' "spare", [R95].

Only until she was ten. Thereafter, Andrew was the spare until 22 years later when William was born. It affected Andrew far more than it affected Anne.

Thanks, r141. I guess I got carried away by the amusing and surreal scenario of "Our Val," more pompously regal than anyone in the RF, except maybe Andrew, as Queen Consort.

Andrew never experienced any kind of "spare" syndrome, r147. The age gap between him and Charles was way too big for that and they didn't grow up together. Anne never had a "spare" syndrome, and she did grow up with Charles. In fact, the only one in centuries to have a "spare" syndrome was Harry, because he - or his publisher or ghost writer - made it up as a way of marketing his book.

[quote] In fact, the only one in centuries to have a "spare" syndrome was Harry,

You know nothing, Jon Snow.

I didn't read this thread (so, no idea if posted yet) and no dog in this fight (so to speak) but, this sincerely had me cackling because the energy is dead on.

Meghan announced the launch when she did in order to pull attention away from William when he was speaking at the Diana awards. She also pulled attention away from Harry, but we know he has no balls and doesn't say boo to his wife.

R146, Parliament is supreme. It can enact anything. His Majesty's Declaration of Abdication Act 1936. So put that in your manure pile.

He might, R152, but it's surely at least a hundred yards from the big house to rescue chicken coop.

R148, in fairness to you the very mention of her induces a kind of chaos and panic.

Harry was male and closer in age to William. Anne was probably resigned to her situation as a girl. Andrew is a lot younger than Charles and was QE’s favorite. Plus, he seemed like just enjoyed all the perqs of being prince, without the stress.

Harry was more observant and aware of how William was being treated and groomed, vs. himself.

Parliament wouldn't do anything bizarre and insane regarding the line of succession, r153, especially for no reason at all - and in fact it didn't and Charles is King. The Telegraph article is bullshit. Not content with making up ridiculous gobshite about the current royals, the insatiable media has to reach back almost a century to make some fake gossip crap up about the royals back then.

The voters are supreme, and no parliament which proposed something as fucking ridiculous as that would have been voted for.

You don't know that, R157. The evidence says all sorts of things were considered. You plainly have no concept of the enormity of the abdication.

Calm down. It's just history. Sorry if it upsets at length.

Also, don't read this. Your head might explode.

But things were not that simple. The royals themselves believed absolutely in the rule of primogeniture but others did not necessarily see it that way.

While King Edward VIII wavered over quitting the throne in the dying days of 1936, his brother Bertie was being primed for the job in a series of secret meetings with the prime minister, Stanley Baldwin, at No 10. Baldwin encouraged the reluctant prince to see himself as king material.

With doubts still in his mind, Bertie left London for an engagement in Scotland. During his five-day absence at the beginning of December civil servants cooked up their plot to deprive him of the throne.

At the heart of the intrigue was Sir Horace Wilson, an arch-manipulator employed in a freelance role to advise Baldwin. He was supported by two mandarins, the first parliamentary counsel, Sir Maurice Gwyer, and the treasury solicitor, Sir Thomas Barnes.

History relates that Baldwin played an honourable role as the abdication crisis unfolded but the same could not be said of these men. Wilson — whose Machiavellian antics were described in the book Winston’s War by Michael Dobbs, creator of House Of Cards — was urging the prime minister to push Edward into abdicating earlier. Gwyer and Barnes were obligingly finding ways to further Wilson’s determination to influence events.

Seen at this distance, it is clear that there was a pincer movement by these three officials, and others, to bring about a chain of events that would see Edward VIII off the throne and the implementation of a mechanism to cherry-pick his successor.

George V’s doctor, Sir Stanley Hewett, said: “The Duke of York is the worst of the four sons and has a mean character. Steady and reliable, but dull.” The diarist and MP Sir Henry “Chips” Channon also dismissed him as dull.

Lloyd George, the former prime minister, viewed Bertie’s prospects as king with barely concealed contempt: “He will not pry into any inconvenient questions, he will always sign on the dotted line without asking any questions — he will always do exactly what he is told.”

1/2

Thomas Dugdale, an MP close to the abdication action, was “depressed by the dullness of the Duke of York”. Other senior courtiers thought him “not naturally a likeable man”. The historian Susan Williams noted that not everybody loved Elizabeth (later the Queen Mother) either: “His wife has shown an unfortunate tendency to play to the gallery,” she quotes one correspondent as saying.

Sir Maurice Gwyer, Chief Justice Of India Sir Maurice Gwyer, Chief Justice Of India REX FEATURES There were also serious questions about whether Bertie was up to the demands of kingship. He was known for his outbursts of uncontrollable bad temper. There were panic attacks too. A report by the RAF’s director of medical services, James Birley, some years earlier had insisted that although Bertie had taken flying lessons he should in no circumstances be allowed to fly solo. Bluntly, Birley said, he was psychologically unfit to fly — “too highly strung”. In the run-up to abdication it was felt necessary that doctors should undertake a discreet psychological assessment.

All these things led many in power to conclude that Bertie was not the man for the job.

When Baldwin, the prime minister, returned to London from his final meeting with Edward VIII at Fort Belvedere on December 5, 1936, he called in Gwyer. Baldwin’s biographer Keith Middlemas, notes that Gwyer had drawn up two parliamentary bills but did not disclose their purpose. Their likely content included two proclamations: one naming Bertie as King George VI; the other naming his mother Queen Regent.

Queen Mary was 69. Her becoming regent was merely a holding position. To complete the plan there had to be another contender for the throne. The obvious candidate was Harry, Duke of Gloucester, Bertie’s next brother. Harry Gloucester was considered by many to be a complete fool — a man who drank too much, had a silly giggle, and who had fathered at least one illegitimate child. Hardly the stuff of monarchs.

The plotters’ eyes turned to Prince George, Duke of Kent, the most glamorous of the brothers, popular and married with a son and heir.

No record of the plan to put Prince George on the throne exists in the archives but incontrovertible evidence is to be found elsewhere. In a long-forgotten book The Work of The Queen, the academic, herald, and royal speechwriter Dermot Morrah wrote: “It was certainly considered at this time whether, by agreement among the Royal Family, the crown might be settled on the Duke of Kent — the only one of the abdicating King’s brothers who had a son to become Prince of Wales, and so avoid laying so heavy a future burden upon the shoulders of any woman. The possibility of such a course was debated by some men of state who believed that it would accord with the wishes of the royal concerned.”

Those men included Baldwin, his chancellor, Neville Chamberlain, his home secretary, Sir John Simon, and the men who had hatched the plot. It explains why Prince George — until then his eldest brother’s favourite — suddenly and unexpectedly distanced himself from Edward VIII.

2/2

No r158, my head won't explode. As a British citizen - and voter - I know it very well. And I also know that the suggestion of putting the Duke of Kent on the throne is bullshit and there is no evidence at all for it. Precisely because, as a British citizen I know it very well I can tell you that the monarchy is very conservative (and I don't mean in a political sense) and its very basis of existence is tradition and convention. It doesn't experiment, it's not going to do anything wild and crazy just for the sake of it, the line of succession is stuck to as far as possible and is only violated for an extremely good reason. And by monarchy here I also mean the British constitution and parliament, and the country.

Especially at a time when the monarchy and country had been rocked by Edward's abdication and the restoration of order and convention was essential, the idea of skipping the two next sons in succession to go to George (and apparently actively bisexual George) just because he seemed more perky was never a consideration. So, there would be a King George VI who had three older brothers still knocking around? The very fact that Albert chose George as his regal name shows that continuity, tradition and stability were the order of the day.

And as it happened, King George VI was a perfect king, he and his family kept the country's spirits alive during the war, and his successor was one of the country's most successful ever monarchs. If there was ever any serious concern (which I don't believe) then there was no need for it.

It's just more of the same bullshit of the style William is having an affair and Kate is in a coma. Or "Diana was plotting to put Andrew on the throne until William was an adult" or "Diana was pregnant with Dodi's child" or "Philip plotted to kill Diana and Dodi ". It's just stupid bullshit that people make up because they think it makes them sound clever and "in the know".

The people of Britain for a start would not have agreed to Albert, his children and Henry being skipped over, for a start. Absolutely not, not in any way at all.

But, I can tell you almost for certain that if for some reason William and his kids all die, then the next monarch will be Beatrice.

I'll don't know what you find so unbelievable about cited letters found in the National Archive, R161.

But ooooooooh-kay.

No need for a lengthly reply.

There are no letters cited from the National Archives saying that parliament was considering skipping Albert, Elizabeth, Margaret and Henry in favour of George, r163.

I can believe the plot to pass over Bertie, but the Duke of Kent? He was strongly rumored to be bisexual and a possibly an addict. Not sure how stable he was to take the throne himself.

It seemed to be a choice among also-rans, although the best choice was made.

Oh, will you just hush, you pedantic windbag. Christ.

[quote] It's just stupid bullshit that people make up because they think it makes them sound clever and "in the know".

Conspiracy theorists in a nutshell.

Stop with all this history shit!! We want to talk about Meghan Markle's website of crap she's not selling yet.

Supposedly she made an attempt to partner with a site called Flamingo Estate. It fell through after she was made privy to their business plan and model along with inside info. Now she's trying to emulate them. Flamingo Estate was Markled!

Stupid move. She should have gone with the Bible.

Flamingo Estate was not 'Markled,' frau. They are just fine.

Flamingo Estate soap (12 oz) sells for $58. A candle costs $58. A 16.9 oz bottle of body lotion costs $70. A jar of NZ honey costs $98. I don’t see the intersection of Markle fans and people who can afford this stuff.

It also sells half a dozen candles for $150 and they smell like tomatoes! Tomatoes! Get a bottle of passata and simmer it on the fucking stove if you want your house to smell like tomatoes.

But I read that website. It's full of bullshit like this: "It’s a quest for intimacy — between plants and people, body and spirit, heaven and earth."

It's so Meghan speak.

There are some limited edition items, or “small batch” as they call it. “Tiffany Haddish Honey” from hives she apparently has in her garden in LA. $250/jar. I wonder if Megs was looking to do something like that.

r174 Isn't the only thing the Sussex's have in their garden chickens? Does this mean American Rivera Eggs $38 a dozen is a possibility?

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Flamingo Estate is currently selling Jane Goodall's 90th Birthday Honey, harvested in Tanzania for $36 a jar. Harry interviewed Jane Goodall for the 2019 edition of British Vogue that Meghan "edited". So, yeah, it's very possible that Meghan either wanted to work with Flamingo Estate and then copied them. This "sustainability" thing, partnering with respected, humanitarian-style figures is exactly what she and Harry assumed they were going to be doing.

[quote]The honey is harvested by Beekeepers using traditional methods, some of them traveling days to reach their hives. It’s part of the Jane Goodall Institute’s community-led conservation efforts, where local community members turned beekeepers collect Honey using traditional methods. Beekeeping helps these community members earn supplemental income, while also helping to protect sacred Tanzanian land.

Harry's 2019 interview with Jane Goodall in the September edition of British Vogue that Meghan "edited". Lol, it's quite fascinating to read some of his question in the light of what came after.

[quote]It’s the same as an unconscious bias – something which so many people don’t understand, why they feel the way that they do. Despite the fact that if you go up to someone and say, “What you’ve just said, or the way that you’ve behaved, is racist” – they’ll turn around and say, “I’m not a racist.” “I’m not saying that you’re a racist, I’m just saying that your unconscious bias is proving that, because of the way that you’ve been brought up, the environment you’ve been brought up in, suggests that you have this point of view – unconscious point of view – where naturally you will look at someone in a different way.” And that is the point at which people start to have to understand.

I look forward to Meghan standing in her knowing.

Poor Jane. I hope she was compensated for having to sit through an interview with DumDum

Poor dim Harry wouldn’t know unconscious bias if it bit him on his flat ginger arse.

The idea that Harry is qualified in any way to identify "unconscious bias" in anyone else is preposterous.

He should be looking inward rather than examining other people's attitudes.

His pomposity is off the charts.

This from the moron that described the US's First Amendment as "bonkers".

Physician, heal thyself.

He’s just parroting what his wife has tried to teach him. It’s impossible to hear any of his Uber American pronouncements without picturing wifey’s hand up the back of his shirt, working the dummy’s mouth.

r178 That reminds me. What ever happened to that Africa documentary Harry was planning last June.

That Flamingo Estates stuff is such nonsense; the product descriptions read like parody. But if the middle-class fraus are buying it, I guess they're marketing geniuses.

It"s not just "very possible" that Narkle wanted to work with Flamingo Estate, they were quoted as saying she took "several" meetings to go over product details and financing, as an interested investor. They turned her down.

R179, apparently having sex for her is about something to do with getting in touch with her "feminine divine".

Jesus Fucking Christ, will someone superglue her stupid mouth shut?

Tony Blair was premature naming Diana "The People's Princess" because nothing says "of the people" like being willing to shill:

[QUOTE]Flamingo Estate soap (12 oz) sells for $58. A candle costs $58. A 16.9 oz bottle of body lotion costs $70. A jar of NZ honey costs $98.

[QUOTE]"several" meetings to go over product details and financing, as an interested investor.

She wanted to invest in a company that specializes in products so "high end" that 95% of her fan base is priced out of enjoying the offerings.

Okey doke, smart business lady.

From what I’ve seen online though, her small but very vocal (and virulent) fanbase of demented fraus probably WILL spent an extortionate amount buying her products, even if they have to bankrupt themselves to do so.

So they're like the MAGAts then?

This is perfect!

Meghan in her Dollar Tree store.

Celebitches, what do you make of the kind of priced merch your idol wants to tie to?

This is extra ouch given this is allegedly coming from people who are "friends" with H&M.

Tee, hee.

[QUOTE]“She thinks her audience is high-end wealthy and wear Cartier and Tiffany — because she does,” the insider said. “But I think they are J Crew. She is really in the mid-tier market.”

^ worth reading. Mentions several people whom MM consulted and also interviews people in the business who explain what she is not doing and who she is not hiring. Looking forward to her lifestyle show on Netflix!

Not understanding your audience is a recipe for business failure.

The silly cow looks to be selling low volume/high margin when, with her target market, she should be aiming for high volume/low margin.

Of course I’m sure that in her head she’ll be selling high volume/high margin.

As if.

I'm surprised Page Six would publish anything less than glowing about her. But then again, Sunshine Sachs were the ones with the clout at Page Six not WME apparently.

Let's give her the benefit of the doubt.

That Page Six article has a link to another article entitled "Prince William attends funeral for Pippa Middleton’s ex Thomas Kingston after death by suicide". This sums up everything that's wrong with the American "perspective" on the British royal family. The "celebrification" with a slightly salacious spin, as though Kingston's only relevant relationship was when he allegedly dated Pippa over 10 years ago, well before either of them married and at the time the tabloids didn't claim they were dating. The confused understanding of royal connections, as though Kate's sister is somehow more relevant than Lady Gabriella Windsor. The weird implication that the only reason William is attending the funeral is because it's for Pippa's alleged ex. The totally inappropriate photo of William jauntily walking along smiling, captioned "Prince William attended the funeral service for Lady Gabriella’s husband, Thomas Kingston", as though William was smiling at a funeral, when the photo is actually of him attending the Commonwealth Day service at Westminster Abbey. A weird paparazzi photo of Kingston and Pippa in a black cab from 2013, back when she was dating Nico Jackson, and it was understood that Kingston was simply a friend (so, perhaps they never even dated).

[quote]Let's give her the benefit of the doubt.

Name one thing she’s ever done that has been successful.

Well, she bagged Harry, so she was successful in that sense.

But it hasn't quite worked out as she'd hoped, r202. I wonder if she sometimes regrets bagging him, because while it's made her more (in)famous, her work/life opportunities are severely restricted and she is unwelcome at all the glamorous celebrity events she thought she was going to be feted at. Now she can't do a thing without it being widely ridiculed.

Obviously, it could have worked out differently if she'd just made the tiniest effort to adjust to royal life, then she would have had a great platform to do all sorts of amazing things for important causes. But she never cared about that, just her own narcissistic self-promotion, and that's backfired on her.

Great post, R203, and I agree. If she'd put in even the most minimal effort at being one of The Working Royals, she'd be on a good thing for life. She is truly her own worst enemy.

Personally, I think she'd have been far better off pursuing a wealthy Hollywood mover and shaker and living a life of luxury as an LA housewife. But that never would have satisifed her - with Harold, she got the level of fame she so desperately craves. Pity it all turned out to be so negative though.

Would any man of power have actually wanted her? She embarrasses herself continually. She can't even dress herself. Her idea of literature is Eat, Pray, Love.

Markling family members en masse, dressing badly and tending to Dimbo's todger?

>>A source shared with People magazine that ARO will show off what the Duchess loves most, like "family, cooking, entertaining and home decor".

[quote] In moments that are peak Markle, the 42-year-old was also seen picking flowers and posing in a black ball gown.

I'd forgotten about the Jamaican ballgown making a reappearance.

You'd think Harry would be harder to snag than a powerful Hollywood producer, but probably not. Less competition for him.

R207 It's just a black tank top with a long black poofy skirt. Princess Temu.

I just wanted to clarify that I was referring to Rachel as Princess Temu, not you R207

How can she or her halfwit husband refer to "family" with a straight face?

They are scary delusional.

I find it hilarious they thought they would come to the US and preside over a rival Royal Court. They are vulgar clowns. Laughingstocks and the butt of peoples' jokes.

No product launch yet. Maybe it’s going to be timed with her Netflix lifestyle show? God knows when that’s going to air so she should’ve waited. Or posted a “coming summer 2024” line under the logo.

I think she launched the the brand in anticipation of Kate's Easter Groundhog appearance, but when the cancer news came out, it threw her for a loop, and had to delay the launch.

Barren Riviera Wasteland

Anyone who is serious about starting a business, doesn't announce a launch and then go hunting for a CEO

R215, of course you are right, but when you are arrogant and self-important, you think you don't need a CEO because you have all the smarts! The first of many wrong steps in this endeavor, just like the past ones.

I thought this concept might work for her, but it has all the hallmarks of her usual certainty to fail. By the time she gets anything to market, if indeed she ever does, the whole concept will have been picked over like buzzards on road kill... analysed, mocked, questioned. She should have focused her press on the actual process of developing the business, shown some momentum, instead of a dress through a Vaseline lens.

Serious question - even for you, Celebitches - what is this woman actually good at?

R217, social climbing, duh.

She's become a pariah despite having married a prince, so no, R218, she's not good at social climbing.

She's good at buying awards for herself, generating negative press, and wearing ugly, wrinkled, ill-fitting, albeit very expensive, clothing.

She's good at showing off jewelry and watches.

She is so completely vapid and has the attention span of a gnat.

They truly are vulgar.

She IS good at social climbing, but she breaks all the rungs on the way up.

You'd really expect more discipline if WME is at the helm. Like if an Emmanuel can't keep her to a plan, who can? She appears at once ruthless and brainless.

Will Harry blame the failure on someone's or some groups' unconscious bias?

She probably thought that the instagram reveal would be so impressive that she'd instantly have hundreds of millions of followers and powerful people would be vying to be CEO.

I don't think WME has anything to do with this venture...they're strictly entertainment agents. But I see no movement on the acting side. She's probably saving up her book until after King Charles dies and after her divorce from Harry. Then she'll try to write a bestseller and turn it into a movie starring....well, who else?

WME VENTURES

Our experienced experts and investors help world-class entrepreneurs accelerate their businesses by leveraging the full breadth and creativity of the WME network.

What divorce, frau R228?

He only got the ginger gene from Diana.

Does he have an ability to do anything save whine, launch lawsuits, get high and play video games?

Didn't he also get his 'thick as a plank" intellect from Diana, r231? She didn't leave him totally bereft.

So hot she couldn't do her zip up!

She needs to hire someone to dress her. She’s incapable of doing it herself.

JAM HAS BEEN RELEASED! A limited edition to 50 friends…er influencers. Numbered labels (collector’s items surely!) to determine where you rank on the friend/influencer scale. Recipients must post photo on Instagram. That is all.

I hope there's no hair in it.

Limited edition jam? Is she expecting them to increase in value?

Limited Attention Span Jam.

By the time they find a manufacturer, she'll be designing tennis skirts. Or at least have announced she will.

Would it kill you to post a link about it?

Come to think of it, that would be a good SNL skit. Every line she announces a new venture.

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Yeah, R238. It looks like she’s aiming to be the Franklin Mint of jams. .

r242 The label seems to be peeling off in 2 of those pictures. Which doesn't exactly scream great product to me given they probably only got it 10 minutes ago. Also why is she apparently sending out Lemon baskets?

[quote] Recipients must post photo on Instagram. That is all.

Instajam scam!

It doesn’t say you can’t post a photo of it beside a puddle of puke.

I think that's assumed, R246.

Bespoke jam. How very original. Her grasping and phoniness is hilariously transparent. She must have no self-awareness whatsoever.

Numbered jars of jam? For fuck's sake it's not a limited run of Champagne. She probably just bought several nearly expired cases of Bonne Maman and put them in new jars.

Wouldn't be surprising since she made up a lie about regularly making apple butter with her grandmother when in reality she only did that once or twice.

She lies almost as much as Trump does.

Oh, is that what the fuck that delivery was.

Wow, her friends only made instagram stories about the jam, not posts. The stories are no longer available.

Those that actually managed to put something on SM about it.

Perfect pants for Smegs as she's so short they'll be dragging on the ground.

Very Butterick!

In other news, Haznoballs has renounced his British citizenship.

Harry has absolutely *not* renounced his British citizenship. He has declared the US as his primary residence for domiciled tax purposes. This means he has been/will have to jump through all the hoops for a permanent residency visa, otherwise known as a Green Card. This does not make him a US citizen nor does it invalidate his British citizenship.

Ahhh I misread the article.

People only renounce their American citizenship if they go to live abroad, to save paying taxes to the US when they don't actually live or work there. Unlike renouncing American citizenship, there is no benefit to renouncing British citizenship.

Renouncing American citizenship is not for the faint at heart. They come after you hard for whatever assets they can in anticipation of not receiving income tax from you in the future. This is to prevent high net worth individuals from easily renouncing their citizenship to avoid paying taxes. Fun fact: they also do this to you if you want to give up your green card after having it for 7 years or more. They tried to do this to my partner when we moved back to the UK (he's British and had a US green card, I am American). It was a nightmare and went on for years.

Anyway, I'm sure Harry will slide through all the red tape with few problems due to the influence his "horrible" family has (his words not mine).

She sent jam unsolicited to 50 friends? I'll bet she hasn't even met half of them; or more precisely, 47 of them.

R258 Most of them were influencers.

Unsolicited jam.

If she sent her jams to their agents/managers, chances are that they'll get them a month from now, or never get them.

So, did she just send the jar of jam or was that just part of the basket which also came with the lemons?

Was there a proper top to the jar? Or only that tie on top?

Did she write messages of encouragement on the lemons?

R263 Perhaps. Maybe she'll send clearance Dollar Tree snacks, ham Lunchables and personally autographed menorahs with empty generic platitudes in elegant calligraphy over to Palestine as her part in the aid effort.

Then she can call it a tax write off since it was charity related. The bitch has 50 Delaware based shell companies (including Doria's totally legit nursing home) which always list her attorney's address on the forms.

So, a basket of lemons with a jam jar artfully wedged on top. Couriered (I expect) to the SB/LA area influencers.

I think calling it a “limited edition of 50” was an okay marketing idea. Like a soft opening for a restaurant. NUMBERING them was extremely dumb as now you’re comparing numbers on the call sheet. The cloth square tied with ribbon has been featured on Mommy blogs for decades. She should’ve come up with a different finishing touch. Sealing wax maybe or custom printed caps. Print her logo/name on the cap and her fans WILL keep it, long after the paper label has washed. off. She also has to come up with a little folded tag tied onto it as she goes into mass(-ish) production. Needs to have a portrait illustration of her (maybe in style of Wall St Journal illustrations or watercolor) and “her story”. Again, it’s a keepsake for her fans.

Luxury foodstuff is a crowded field. The only only distinction ARO will have is Megs herself. As it’s presented now, the design concept is very low rent.

Coming soon…

Tbe burlap square tied with twine is so....quaint, so countrycore, like a Joann Fabrics tutorial. If Sparkles is involved, it's pure cheesiness

Traci Ellis Ross received her display with the clay container, lemons and jar of jam. Only she displayed it on her Instagram with wilted leaves and dead flowers. Subtle takedown?

What did she write on them, I wonder?

You are famous.

I like your Insta.

SOS?

That is because she has no imagination, just copies others...

Jam and Lemons is the weirdest fucking combo. Like even if you're just trying to fill the basket out there a lot of things that make more sense than Citrus fruits. Hell just put it on top of a basket of strawberries.

r271, I believe it's lemon marmalade. Looks like she helped to sell out Charles' jam:

r272 All the posts seem to imply its strawberry jam. Delfina Balquier in that link you sent spreads it on bread and it looks like strawberry jam. The only thing that mentions lemon in that page is Charles makes jam that's "'A mouth-watering combination of plump ripe strawberries and tangy lemon," (which sounds awful). But even so if you're sending me a gift basket of lemons I'd assume you make gin or lemonade.

A bit slow on the uptake here, I just made the connection that NOWHERE on the label does it say what it is. Yes, it’s obviously strawberry jam but if you are selling/giving away jams, they need to be labeled distinctively. Even first editions. /s. omg, this whole enterprise is SO DUMB.

Dumb doesn't even cover it. Maybe she had a CEO and they quit? Nobody would want to take on this stinker and then get blamed for the inevitable train wreck.

That’s the best she came up with?

A small amount of fresh lemons and jam jar that isn’t labeled (with a uninspired design, that looks cheap)

She really needs a long long long break away from the public and wheelin and dealing shit projects

From the comments section at the article linked at R268

“I’m proud to admit that I received basket #50 and was thrilled to try Meghan’s jam. The doctor said I’ll be out of the hospital in a couple of days.”

I only hope I live long enough to see Archie and Lillibet, in their 30's, hanging their upbringing out to dry. Perpetuating the family business of moan-grifting.

Come on! Watching her flail around from failure to failure is quite amusing. Besides, that bitch would rather plunge into boiling water than be out of the public eye. Remember the event where they had to practically drag her off the red carpet? Apparently her cooking show has started production. I can't wait!!

I hope this is true.

Meghan would struggle in a sheltered workshop.

Martha is the Grande Dame of this space and has every right to side-eye all the people who think they can do it too. I suspect this is more about Martha swatting away yet another fly than it is about Meghan herself. Personally I can't wait to see Meghan's show if and when it's ever produced. I suspect it will never see the light of day, and if it does, it will be on the same level as Archetypes. I wonder if Brooklyn Beckham has any tips for Meghan?

I used to get annoyed by Meghan, but now I find her endlessly entertaining. I have never seen anyone fail upward so many times and still keep coming.

There's so many failures to choose from! So much for schadenfraude to thrive on!

The red Carolina Herrera gown worn to a solemn event for veterans is a bittersweet one as she looked hilariously inappropriate, but the gloating is severely tempered by the thought that her dress and behaviour must have caused offence to the other people present. People who made sacrifices for their country, whereas she would sacrifice anything/anyone for her own benefit.

She really just used the gown and the "gala" as material for the Netflix series. How sad and twisted is that?

Along with enjoying all the failures though, there's bewilderment that someone with THIS face wasn't stuck serving donuts for Craft Services. What the hell is wrong with her eye on the left side of the picture? Then there's the teeth, the expression, the lantern jaw...

What other Netflix (ie not free on YouTube) cooking? lifestyle? show would be similar to Meghan Cooks! or whatever the name will be.

Seems like she would be aiming for something similar to Ina Garten, but who knows. Isn't Meghan supposedly vegan? Maybe that's her hook. Anyway, they have supposedly starting production, but they're filming at a different house from where Meghan and Harry supposedly live. The wierdness just keeps coming with those two.

Hardly anyone is actually vegan and nothing is organic

Megan is a phony shit and Harry is a dimwit.

Love that they published this pic of her in r280's article:

She said she baked a chicken for Harry when they were first dating.

I agree that the strawberry jam in numbered jars is ridiculous, like these jams are works of art.

Seems like she could make more money by just investing wisely in the stock market and real estate.

[quote] Seems like she could make more money by just investing wisely in the stock market and real estate.

That doesn't bring the necessary amount of fame and public attention either of them need to function. So cooking show and Jam it is!

Yeah, I know, R288. She could also save money on her wardrobe. But no.

Harry and The Mrs. Harry simply want to be venerated, regardless of their lack of substance, talent, or integrity.

I guess I never expected Megs to do a cooking show in her own kitchen. You see all the film trucks and there’s got to be a ton of equipment stacked everywhere indoors. It’s very disruptive. Besides if you have a film crew wandering around, someone’s bound to notice that most of the rooms are empty.

R286 Like everything else those bolt on cheek implants and horsey veneers aren't doing her any favors.

The Daily Mail threw the perfect shade when they wrote that Meghan sent fifty jars of jam to "her closest influencers."

Ouch!!Article in Business Insider analysing why most businesses fail to reap rewards when they invest in Harry and Meghan.

r293 Above post was me just so I cant be accused of misleading or hiding

r293 I'll genuinely be amazed if they ever have a success that isn't from (complaining about) his royal connection. He's a relatively bland not hideous looking rich English guy. She's a C-list actress. There's not a single thing they have to provide people want other than royal gossip.

Harry - not hideous looking, r295?

This was taken when he had some hair.

Shame Kate only has six months to live.

[quote]She's a C-list actress.

Wrong.

R297 You wish.

FF R297 for sheer cuntitude.

The Sussexes weren’t at their close friend Victoria Beckham’s 50th birthday party in London on Saturday, and for sure they wouldn’t have stayed away from the star-studded event.

Maybe their invitation got lost in the mail.

R301, the Harkles didn't invite the Beckhams to their evening wedding reception.

They also accused Victoria of selling stories to the paps about Madame.

Quid pro quo, then.

Now that Meghan was married to a prince and didn't have to steal clothes from photoshoots anymore (see beige Aquazurra heels) she expected then friend Victoria to give them to her for free since they were such good friends.

Victoria of course wasn't having it and immediately ended things. Meghan has been bitter over it since.

We DECLINED the birthday party invitation!

The staggered rollout of the jam via Instagram posts is kind of hilarious. The more you see of the ugly octagonal jar with its cheesy burlap cloth top perched incongruously on top of some lemons in a clay pot, the more ridiculous it gets.

I recently perused a book on the different types of calligraphy. None of the many types featured looked anything like whatever it is she does with her calligraphy pen.

R307, Meghan's pseudo-calligraphy falls in line with her other pseudo-talents.

R308, she probably failed at scripting acceptable calligraphy and invented her own - as you so beautifully put it - pseudo-calligraphy. That's if she even tried. She probably considers her own flourishes special - as *she* invented them.

It does make me think of a first-grader failing at plasticine/play-doh, and being kept back a grade because of it.

It’s not even good penmanship.

That she signed visitor books with that signature is an embarrassment.

I wanted to invent calligraphy but the royal family wouldn't let me.

They really are trying to make a go at it.

New reports coming out that Meghan's deal with Lemonada is already up in the air with her podcast relaunch being postponed until at least the second half of 2025.

[quote] Lemonada

Its getting to the level where you can start to throw together a deepstate conspiracy theory about Meghan Markle and Lemons.

From one bully to another. Chrissy Teigen was a jam recipient.

LOL... nice headline.

Best lines:

Mark Borkowski, the crisis PR consultant, says he’s not surprised that the Duchess has taken on an expert in consumer products to help “sell her wares like jam”, but thinks that rebranding Meghan to appeal to British audiences is “one of the most difficult jobs in PR…. second only perhaps to doing PR for Prince Andrew”. Yikes.

There’s also no consistency in how they want to present themselves as a couple. Are they royals or are they not? Do they want to be in the public eye or do they want privacy? People respond to a consistent narrative so a more joined-up approach on who she is and what her goals are will be the first job.

I don’t know who’s been advising them up until now, but their strategy seems so all over the place that I wonder if they’ve been listening to the advice they’ve been getting.

It’s not just the ‘us vs them’ dynamic that they’ve set up with the Royal family, but also the scraps that have played out with Meghan’s own family and the bullying accusations by some of her staff [palace aide Samantha Cohen recently confirmed that she was questioned by the Palace about the allegations]. There’s a lot to unpick and correct and that takes honesty and guts and patience. If you air your dirty laundry in public, it will take time for it to dry.

Meghan has a voice and a platform, what does she want to use it to say? Who is she and what does she really stand for? I don’t think anyone knows yet. And hopefully it’s more than flogging strawberry jam to rich people.

Sometimes less is more. Meghan seems to be more about the explosion of flashbulbs and grandstanding than she is about the soft and gentle touch. If I was advising her, I’d tell her to do some charity work undercover, then she’d surprise people if the things she was involved in turned out to be a great success. She needs to build up relationships with key players in the philanthropic arena, not just lean on celebrity friends like Oprah. I’d like to see her build bridges with some of her biggest critics.

Dialling down her Hollywood ways would be a great start. Less word salads and fewer psychobabble references would go far with plain-speaking Brits who rarely use the words ‘heal’ or ‘empower’.

Is this the first time we've seen the full American Riviera Orchard basket exactly how it looked that day last week when 50 people people wondered who was ringing their doorbell so aggressively?

Meghan has already shown us who she is, so not sure how you missed it. First and foremost, she's a liar, a user and a bully. What's she interested in? Herself, attention, being admired, being photographed, and giving speeches. She is wildly ambitious, but also incredibly lazy.

I think she wants to be acknowledged and feted as a great and powerful philanthropist. Except she doesn’t have enough money to donate herself and she can’t focus on a particular cause using the money she does have. Instead she jumps around good causes, dazzling them with her word salad and temporary publicity but there’s nothing sustainable.

It’s remarkable that two nonagenarians who gave up most of their lives from their 20s until their deaths in public service had their life’s work lied about and degraded in their dying days so that the world could have a dozen podcasts and 50 jars of strawberry jam.

Apparently Kris Jenner got a lemons-jam-clay pot arrangement, too.

I wonder how MM manages her fame hunger against H's desire for privacy/a cloak of humanitarian dignity.

Kate Halfpenny from the Sydney Morning Herald weighs in, and it’s pretty funny.

This is pretty funny. Chrissy Teigen and John Legend were asked on a red carpet about the jam. Chrissy makes her famous grimace and then quickly recovers. John only says the sandwich Chrissy made with the jam was good. They also do a shout out to Flamingo Estate, the company that Meghan has apparently ripped off. Chrissy had also posted a gift box she received from Flamingo Estate earlier that day. The shade, the shade. (I am not a fan of either Chrissy or Meghan, but I find this very funny)

Can you post a link where we can see that, r324? Because the one you posted shows them faking like for the jam.

[quote]This is pretty funny. Chrissy Teigen and John Legend were asked on a red carpet about the jam.

That was a skit; interviewer and Chrissy and John were well prepared. Phoney.

Chrissy Teigen? Phoney?? It’s shocking.

Charles gave Harry millions from his inheritance from the Queen so they're fine.

r328 "millions" can be 2 million, which they would have run through when they bought the Montecito house.

More like 200m, Fuglicia.

The only source I've ever seen for the Queen throwing millions at Harry is a blind item someone posted which I wouldn't usually trust as a source of reliable information on royal wills. Plus given she'd be aware both William and Harry are going to do well out of Charles I'd assume she'd make Anne, Andrew and Edwards kids the biggest beneficiaries rather than leaving 200 million to the son of the wealthiest heir to the throne in the countries history.

The Queen didn't throw millions at Harry but she was a billionaire and she left the bulk of that wealth to Charles. He offloaded a good chunk onto Harry to salve his guilt about driving him out of the UK.

I doubt Charles allowed her to leave much to Andrew. The last thing they want is for that pedophile to start partying again.

Charles drove Harry out of the UK? He feels guilt about that?

The only people responsible for Harry and Meghan leaving the UK are Harry and Meghan. Harry fucked up so much.

[Quote]I doubt Charles allowed her to leave much to Andrew. The last thing they want is for that pedophile to start partying again.

Comments like this are why I love the DL.

[post redacted because independent.co.uk thinks that links to their ridiculous rag are a bad thing. Somebody might want to tell them how the internet works. Or not. We don't really care. They do suck though. Our advice is that you should not click on the link and whatever you do, don't read their truly terrible articles.]

Years from now, the young ‘uns will be asking us, “what was it like to live through the great Jam War of 2024?”

Sophie ex-Trudeau executes a perfect Half-Carey:

When I bring up Meghan Markle, who did an interview with Grégoire Trudeau on her podcast where she gushed about a day spent hanging out at the pool with her and her children, where they got “giddy like absolute schoolgirls”, she does not gush back. “I know her,” she says, before adding that they haven’t spent much time together, and telling me how terrible she feels for Kate Middleton after her cancer diagnosis (“my heart just sunk when I saw what was happening”).