Rubber-faced Dog Killer Walks Back More Details of Faux-ography Written for Express Purpose of Becoming #2 to Von Shittezenpants

Ha, she does look like a Dick Tracy villain. Puppy Pistoler

MAGA lies

"Noem book dogged by new claims of inaccuracies

The South Dakota governor says she met with North Korea’s dictator and, separately, that she was threatened by Nikki Haley. Both are being questioned."

proofread

I mean, it's pretty easy to fact check a claim of having met Kim Jong Un, so pretty stupid to lie about that.

Oh please. Who hasn’t met Kim Jong Un and given him the business?

[quote] I remember when I met with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. I’m sure he underestimated me, having no clue about my experience staring down little tyrants (I’d been a children’s pastor, after all). Dealing with foreign leaders takes resolve, preparation and determination. My experiences on those many foreign trips made me a better member of Congress and a stronger governor. It allowed me to hone my deal-making skills, which play a crucial role in leadership.”

Best thread title ever. It made me stop.

Toast, party of one?

I feel sorry for South Dakota.

Nah!

I’m tempted to say “One less MAGA politician to worry about,” but then I remembered they like liars.

C’mon people. Even those here on DL would be hard-pressed to tell the difference between a Korean and a Chinaman!

Kristi Noem checks off 3 MAJOR boxes to be Trump's VP:

- Hates dogs (will literally kill them)

- Fantasizes about Kim Jong Un

- Has cheated on spouse

Haley was lucky I did not shoot her in the fucking face.

R3

r13...it appears she also hates children:

[quote] I’m sure he underestimated me, having no clue about my experience staring down little tyrants (I’d been a children’s pastor, after all)

Quick! Somebody check the Noem family gravel pit for bodies of missing kids!

These MAGA Governors never seem capable of translating to the national stage.

Some people just can't tell the truth.

Rescue people are worse than anti tobacco people. We could only wish Trump would be now dumb enough to pick her for VP. She shot that chance for VP right in the fucking face..

She has as much chance for VP as Michael Vick has today.

Dollface murderer

Run, Spot, run...

Snow Queen's gotta snow.

This bitch self-canceled.

This isn't even a good lie. It's a lie about something easily fact checked. What the hell? Another George Santos?

Krusti Gnome

So many lies. So many unforced errors.

She seems…untrainable.

You know what that means.

R19

Death threats. A fundraiser was canceled because of these death threats. But those who had to cancel the event do have 300 copies of noems book so if you are looking for a deal. I already have my copy

I feel so bad for her , poor crickets , and her vp chances

I am so sorry it’s all kind of new for me

I love dogs , President Trump and my soon to be wife.

It's good news for November. She was probably the most high-wattage VP pick Trump could've had. She still had traces of sex appeal under all the plastic surgery, and her rugged "Mama Grizzly" bullshit would've gotten some attention.

Contrast her with, say, Tim Scott (the Senator even white people call a Shuck-and-Jive) or Elise Stefanik (dumpy, shrill, and overly energized about the wrong stuff) or JD Vance (who'll remind America of that one cool kid who grew up and became a rich asshole).

Noem had sizzle and charisma. But she's got the political instincts of a dead mackerel - remember, she CHOSE to tell the world this story and end her own career - and Donald knows he can do better.

And the book also contains several easily fact checked lies such as her staring down Kim Jong Un. She's a George Santos who also kills puppies. Not even time will help her now. She has no political future.

How many male politicians pose for a professional photograph playing with their hair? Not even Trump

Make America"great again" by killing our puppies with a shotgun, conducting extra-marital affairs with lipless spousal abusers, GRIFTING, vaping in venues that have banned vaping, performing hand-jobs on our date (in public) while hubby is home beating our kids, becoming grandparents at age 35 to a half Mexican kid born to an under-aged mother, GRIFTING, fucking all of the staff who work at our CrossFit gym and then working our way through the clientele, feeding milkshakes filled with abortion drugs to our sidepiece, GRIFTING, calling up electors to round up eleven thousand and six ballots to the contest election results, using federal funds to purchase supplies during a pandemic and forcing states to bid for the supplies aka GRIFTING, burying the mother of our children in a golf course in New Jersey of all places, grabbing women by the 😺 and boasting about it, GRIFTING,

I know you gays tend towards the pussy side, but I say it again, these people need to be eliminated from breathing, like dead, these people are in control.

I love my dog up all the time, pets on the head, kisses on the top of her nose and whispers of sweet nothings.

I actually misread the link as "thedakotacunt".

Excellent thread title OP!

I think she's tremendous!

She’s the sociopathic version of Sarah Palin.

Before…

*ahem…

Hottie!…

Noem/Santos 2028!

R33

Other than talk, vent, post, yack, plead etc exactly what are you going to do to eliminate those people. Other than talk vents post yack…?

bye Felicia

R44

They nailed it. It will be the white man or the black man the white woman shot herself in the face and fell into a gravel pit. She is officially hated by red and blue.

twisted, puppy-killing twat

A closeted black gay male who just got engaged to a white woman is unappealing

Tim Scott is almost 60 years old. Just now decided to get married to some white woman? Sure Jan.

R47

And which trump VP choice would make voting for trump appealing for you? Name one. Because I am sure you are the exact type of voter trump wants to woo.

Bitch, I am blocking your magat ass

R50

Weak ass pussy.

Well if Trump were terminally il and certain to die within twenty seconds of taking office and Joe Biden and Kamala Harris had both dropped out and the Democrats were running Ilhan Omar, maybe big Gretch.

But only if Gretch promised to let Kristi Noem take Trump out to a gravel pit if he lived past the inaugural parade.

OK, R39, R40, and R41 demonstrates that KKKristi is giving Joni Ernst a run for her money in the bad wig department!

Waist long hair extensions, face full of botox and fillers, along with a sepia toned spray tan have not improved her looks.

Her glowup signals, "I am a woman with a distorted vision and no class". Did you hear the story of the call she made to ensure her retarded adult daughter passed a certification for a real estate career?

bootstrappers= boots are hoisted behind their ears to level up in life.

Talent and hard-work has nothing to do with this.

I was the original pageant walking politician!

Palin did the secret slut style correctly. Updo. Glasses, tasteful makeup. A bit of leg.

It's a look that worked for her, back then and doesn't flatter her now.

At least Palin had somewhat of a personality, unlike this cunt and Boobert and the others who have tried to copy her.

Palin is nails-on-a-chalkboard but Boebert and Noem are sad little pick-mes. Sad, stupid, violent pick-mes.

Margaret asked her on Face The Nation why she didn't catch the mistakes in her book when she was recording the audio version of it.

What was her reply, r59?

R60

She did try and retake the high ground by suggesting that Bidens dog should also be shot.

Oh Oh Noem is now in fat or dumpy daughter territory with trump. She can come visit have dinner but no fucking picture with her.

She was the one who gathered this weekend who was not in the trump approved picture.

She did the audio version? That pretty much disproves that she didn't know what was in the book

[quote]And the book also contains several easily fact checked lies such as her staring down Kim Jong Un.

She was confusing the time she stared down the Chinese delivery guy because he forgot the egg rolls.

[quote]Cricket ruined the hunt, going “out of her mind with excitement, chasing all those birds and having the time of her life”.

Now he's Cujo.

The family pet, had the time of her life, doing dogs things, this needed to be corrected.

"So I um, like, um totally like shot her? In the, like gravel pit? Like, to 'deaf".

SO,cI am, like totally like VP material cuz like,I can make like,life or "deaf" like, decisions. In like? A moments notice.

I would NEVER like, NEVUH,vote to certify the like, election results against the like ,President like, rino Mike Pence!"

[QUOTE]A closeted black gay male who just got engaged to a white woman is unappealing

You serious?! Their nuptials will be high viewing here!!!

I am not watching that shit. It's depressing and demoralizing and bad for American democracy.

You just know she wanted to show more titty but someone said no. She seems to be an amalgam of Sarah Palin, Nancy Mace and Lauren Boebert.

"A closeted black gay male who just got engaged to a white woman is unappealing"

That's why I feel mom is incompetent to become my conservator.

The Witch of Watertown is about to be pushed into her own cauldron. 🧙‍♀️

There is only one thing that would have made this story better a lot better (apologies to the deceased) is if this story had broken after she was picked as VP by Trump.

Now it’s just a story

That's why they did it- so it will all be forgotten by the time Trump appoints her Secretary Of The Interior or some shit.

As with all Republican "authors", The Republican Party will buy the book in bulk.

Bolt-ons, chicken wing arms, bad wigs, veneers, and puppy killer. She's the perfect Republicunt!

She originally included the dog-killing anecdote in her first book but publishes told her to nix it

Christ, what the hell is wrong with her?

[quote]Christ, what the hell is wrong with her?

She's a sociopath.

So in the GMA interview, she says when she saw the lines about Kim Jung Un were in the book, she asked they be taken out.

Is this pretty much just admitting she neither wrote nor read the book? Is that where we are in society?

Just asking.

Yes, r79.

Maybe she can only read picture books. After all, illiteracy is freedom to these types.

She was the narrator of the her autobiography's audiobook, folks.

I guess she was high when she read and recorded that part about her staring down Kim Jong Un.

Of course this was all to flatter the Orange Anus and get his VP slot. Why else would she make up a lie about meeting his North Korean boyfriend?

The gaggle discusses

I think she's tremendous..

I've seen better looking blow up fuck dolls.

This bitch. Please.

The interviewer ripped her to shreds R84.

I wonder what church she goes to

Her book is getting savaged on Amazon

Hey- Kristi's book came out on Amazon today! Go ahead and leave her your honest review!

I love how she claims three decades of foreign policy experience, using that as an excuse for “her publisher” fucking up on Kim Jung Un… because, I mean, she stared down so darned many global leaders!

She would so be sucking Trump's teeny peen

Why isn't this seen as an INTENSE KRISTI FALIURE? AGAIN!!! Her stupidity is hilarious.

Burgrum, Scott, Rubio, Vance according to Forbes and others are now the top 4 for VP. Allegedly Noem was leading the pack before dog-gate sunk her.

And Rubio to run would have to move from Fl where he is a senator to a different state not named Florida. I don’t see that happening.

If trump does win noem will spend the rest of her life knowing she would have likely been VP if not P some day soon except for that dog and the idiocy of putting killing it into a book despite being told not to by several people.

She and killer Corey really are soulmates.

R95 Notice the lack of Republican women on that list.

There are several in this country who would make fine attack dogs, policy leaders, and potential POTUSes. But Trump only views women as "Hot but dumb" or "Just Plain Unfuckable." He would never give a woman any real power in his administration. He might pick a VP who looks like a real whore, but he'd never pick a strong woman with her own mind and ambition.

R97

Thank you so much for reminding the rest of us that trump does not treat women well. A needed reminder. I bet most here have forgotten that

[quote] Notice the lack of Republican women on that list.

Given who the Republican women are in government, we can all be thankful.

He'll never pick Scott. His base in the KKK

[quote]Notice the lack of Republican women on that list. There are several in this country who would make fine attack dogs, policy leaders, and potential POTUSes.

Name one??

Nearly all Republican women are batshit crazy.

And the few aren’t (Lisa Murkowski, Liz Cheney, etc)…wouldn’t touch a Dump Presidency with a ten foot pole.

“I like her a lot!”

^ When he can remember who she is.

R101, but MOST Republicans these days are batshit crazy, not just the women

She's the Dogkiller Snatch, R103. Trump hates dogs. He's probably asked her down to his Casa de Diabetius and offered her the honor of changing his diaper just for offing the puppy.

I hope that Fuckface von Clownstick doubles down on choosing her for VP. So many opportunities to humiliate them both and destroy them at the polls. It's fun.

This fake ass cunt will look like Jocelyn Wildenstein inside of 10 years. She's already got the bolt-ons, cheek implants, plumped lips, veneers, etc.

She should just go ahead and try out for a real housewives show. But maybe Trump will come through and shove his tiny mushroom cock in her pussy, which is what she's craving.

Aside from the crazy hair, it’s amazing how naturally pretty she was before going under the knife. I think she may have intentionally disfigured herself out of repressed guilt for being a terrible human being.

The Daily Show did a roundup of her bellyflops on conservative, not liberal, networks. No wonder she canceled the book tour.

You are too kind, r108.

“South Dakota, is that Sioux City?”

Outside of the Worldwide Privacy Tour from Prince Whatshisname and his ILBW this Rubber-faced Dog Killer Faux-ography Tour is the best one ever!

Since she has nothing to lose, I predict that her next few years as governor will be a wild ride for South Dakota. The gravel pit is open for business!

Dogs and goats beware!

Did I tell you how much I love pussy?

[quote]—everyone forgets that she shot that goat right after she shot the dog

Weird, isn’t it, because the goat wasn’t a threat, just annoying, which makes me wonder about the dog. Did she really shoot Cricket to protect the farm, or in revenge for being publicly humiliated by the dog getting out of control? If so, it makes sense that she took her anger out on the goat too, because she was still in a narcissistic rage even after shooting her dog.

Are the heads of Cricket and the goat stuffed and mounted on one of her walls, like her other trophies?

Would anyone be surprised if they were?

Hide yo' goats

Hide yo' dogs

Apparently she lied about Emmanuel Macron, too

Dead eyes; she’s evil.

No wonder she gets along so well with the Dumpster Fire. She's morally unsound and a lying sack of shit.

And the sad thing for her is that she did not need a fucking book to put her as #1 or #3 on the Trump VP list. She was already there.

Now not a chance she is dead weight

I’m still trying to wrap my head around MAGA supporters reading a book.

R123

Let’s hope this sounds as funny in November.

It’s like she has NO political instincts. The voters in South Dakota must be incredibly stupid to have repeatedly fallen for this fraud.

They voted for her because they vote straight ticket Republican and/or to "own the libs".

She is disfigured. Sooooooooo grotesque. Lizard Lady.

Maybe she bragged to her plastic surgeon about killing her animals before going under the knife.

[quote]Noem’s tome has dropped off the Amazon top 500 hardcovers to #563. Even worse, the Kindle version –which can be instantly downloaded — is down to around number 9,200. Call it digital kindling for real.

Good. Cunt.

The customer reviews on Amazon are great.

[quote]A book actually better used to start fires.

She has the stench of a loser now. Sad she was such a star.

R129 - it looks like the usual conservative groups aren't putting in bulk orders to inflate sales figures. She has lost *everybody.*

Oh my God. She claims to be 52. FIFTY TWO?? How many years do we think she's shaving off there? Ten, twelve?

What if she really IS 52 and that face is just... the damaged remnants of decades spent killing dogs, goats and lying about world leaders? Or maybe she's like the Red Woman in Game of Thrones and she's lost her necklace?

Hate her