Tasteful friends. Would you want your very own castle for under 1 million?

It looks like the unholy union between a Medieval Times and Mormon mcmansion.

Varlets included or extra ?

I am the easiest person to please. On anything. I could have probably found something nice about Hitler. However, every inch of this house is ugly. It looks like the exterior is made of cardboard.

That is not a castle. Its a McMansion with bits stuck on so it vaguely resembles a castle from a distance...in fog. And as R3 says, those bits look like cardboard

I can't stop laughing at the patches of brick stuck ON TOP OF the plaster

What a DUMP !

It’s a McCastle.

That’s sad. Not a single redeeming characteristic.

Well I had a theory, but it is nowhere near Michigan’s Renaissance Faire, so I’m at a loss on why this was built.

Looks like they ran out of money before completely whatever it was supposed to be.

Beautifully staged.

Does it have an air strip?

A lot of odd angles in a place that's basically a couple rectables with some bay windows. Looks like they ran out of money before they could landscape. Probably meant to be a vacation/weekend house given the location unless they're the local gentry.

It's quintissentially Michigan.

it has a vineyard; perhaps this was someone’s dream winery business or something and they failed horribly.

hideous and risible yet i feel it could be worse

The outdoor area with the long tables set up gives credence to the winery theory.

I've seen mobile homes with more charm.

Ghastly! The furniture is hilariously awful.

It needs a moat.

Vile. The most laughable American castle I have seen in a very long time.

Not one aspect or feature that's not horrible

Well, to be fair, in Michigan you’re not really safe unless you live in one.

Love the landscaping.

That is one ugly ass castle.

[quote] It needs a moat.

You don't need a moat, you could always drown yourself for buying that money pit in Lake Michigan which is nearby.

McMansion staircases are all horrible. And this is the clumsiest McMansion staircase design I have ever seen.

Trying to figure out what’s going on in the twin bed room. The view from the window is blocked.

I wondered the same, R26. Grain silo? Plastic pod sauna? Tanning room? Wine fermentation tank? Home for bad children?

Oh, my stars. I’ve lived my entire life in hopes that in the final act a mob of villagers would set their brooms alight and storm my castle as I hung out the highest window shrieking at them and now it can all happen!

R26 and R27 that bedroom is below grade and that is the window well for escape in case of fire.

OMG, surely that is not legal. I did look at the exterior trying to find the double window shown but could not see one.

(Continued)

3 bedrooms and one is THAT? Every decision here has been bad.

If I ever had a RICH stalker, this would be his abode. I could live the life of Costco luxury in some part of the mitten and he would proudly serve air-fried turkey legs.

Well it does have a view of the lake...

What in the world do they teach in architecture school?

R34 Ypu think the people that "designed" this have ever been anywhere near an architecture school?

This is truly one of the most hideous homes I’ve ever seen.

is there even access to the top of the turret!?!

Those scratcher winnings never go as far as you think they will.

Yeah, someone lost their shirt on this project.

[quote]What in the world do they teach in architecture school?

They teach build house!

It’s a shitty house with an awful exterior that looks like a cheap attempt to make it look like a castle.

The worst thing I've ever seen in a "Tasteful Friends" thread. Stupefying.

[quote] The worst thing I've ever seen in a "Tasteful Friends" thread. Stupefying.

Oh there have been much worse than this.

Looks like a hole at the miniature golf course.

And suddenly even a shitty house thread is a Trump thread. Forty replies though. You Trump gals are slipping.

When a house fails even by McMansion standards, I can't laugh; it's just too easy. Even the views of Torch Lake can't redeem this chaos. The weedy vineyards tell the whole sad story.

Not that I've seen, R43.

Looks about as authentic as Mortville in John Waters’ “Desperate Living.”

Is it in one of the MAGAT areas of Michigan?