I’m okay with my son being gay… as long as he’s not a bottom
Hi Jake,
My 20-year-old recently came out to me as homosexual. I had a feeling something was going on because he was hiding a lot from me, and I also found some “evidence” on his computer (including your website). In some ways, I’m relieved, because I knew something was off between us.
That said, I was raised in a family where homosexuality is highly discouraged. We are church people, and it’s challenging for me to divorce myself from that way of thinking. I’m trying my best, and learning from my son in the process. He tells me that he’s always felt this way, and that being gay is not his choice. While I’m still wrapping my head around it, I’m getting there.
One issue I struggle most with, however, is that it’s hard to imagine him having sexual relations with another man if he’s the submissive partner. I realize I might be overstepping, but it would help me come to terms with his new identity if at least I knew he was the masculine, dominant one. I don’t like thinking about him in another way.
Is it okay to tell my son that I accept him being gay, as long as he isn’t the passive one in the bedroom? I think that would make it easier for me to come to terms with all this.
Father Figure(ing things out)
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 80 | April 30, 2024 10:11 PM
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Dear Jake,
It's me, Speaker of the House Mike Johnson. I monitor my son's porn habits so I'm really worried about all the gay porn he's been watching! And if he's gay, he should definitely be a top. I want to fantasize about my son plowing guys, not the other way around
by Anonymous | reply 2 | April 20, 2024 3:40 AM
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If he’s hung and has a coinslot then he should top. If he isn’t and has a rosebud then he should bottom.
by Anonymous | reply 3 | April 20, 2024 3:42 AM
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Imagine Father’s horror when he finds out his gay son tosses salad.
by Anonymous | reply 4 | April 20, 2024 3:59 AM
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This attitude is quite common, especially among southern women.
by Anonymous | reply 5 | April 20, 2024 4:41 AM
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Sorry, dad, he inherited your tiny cock.
by Anonymous | reply 6 | April 20, 2024 4:43 AM
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Both look like little-dicked bossy bottom pigs to me.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | April 20, 2024 7:58 AM
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QUEERTY is pure garbage. A vehicle for clicks. The content is meaningless. I hope for the owner's sake it is all A.I. generated because it's tragic to imagine "writers" putting out such dreck.
by Anonymous | reply 8 | April 20, 2024 8:54 AM
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I actually believe this could be real.
by Anonymous | reply 9 | April 20, 2024 8:58 AM
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[quote] it’s hard to imagine him having sexual relations with another man
A parent should be “imagining” their kid having sex at all. Just like we naturally can’t bear to picture our parents or siblings having sex. There are some places the mind just shouldn’t go, and if it does there are, at best, boundary issues.
by Anonymous | reply 10 | April 20, 2024 9:01 AM
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Admit it Dad, you’re secretly turned on at the thought.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | April 20, 2024 9:12 AM
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Father:,Why are you a bottom?!
Son: Why not??
by Anonymous | reply 12 | April 20, 2024 10:03 AM
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Well he probably wants to throw up at the thought of dad poking mom's snatch, so you're even.
Don't think so hard.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | April 20, 2024 10:34 AM
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Exactly, whenever I think that might parents might be weirded out by the thought, I catch myself remembering, well I don’t wanna think about them having sex either. Ewww
by Anonymous | reply 14 | April 20, 2024 11:39 AM
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"I'm ok with you being a lesbian as long as you don't eat pussy" is what my mother told me when I was 16.
by Anonymous | reply 15 | April 20, 2024 12:03 PM
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“Well, ok, actually I’m ok with him being a bottom. Just not a ‘pass-around party bottom’. “
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 16 | April 20, 2024 12:28 PM
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My boy can have his ass pounded out every day if that's what he wants!
by Anonymous | reply 17 | April 20, 2024 1:34 PM
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R17, like father, like son!
by Anonymous | reply 18 | April 20, 2024 1:37 PM
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Dad is right. We need more tops to take care of the cock-starved, gaping holes of DL's eldergays...
by Anonymous | reply 19 | April 20, 2024 1:48 PM
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R18 Of course we like each other - not makin' sense, woman!
by Anonymous | reply 20 | April 20, 2024 2:02 PM
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Wait till he tells dad about his DP fetish.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | April 20, 2024 2:08 PM
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I imagine a lot of dads secretly feel this way (or at least did when their sons first came out). Getting sucked off and fucking is more relatable to them in terms of being a manly thing than getting fucked. But do I think this letter is real? Not a chance in hell. It doesn't sound like it was written by a dad. And the mention of the website is just cringe...
by Anonymous | reply 22 | April 20, 2024 2:11 PM
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R22 He's jealous of his boy's big dick and desperately wants to get fucked by him.
by Anonymous | reply 23 | April 20, 2024 2:13 PM
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LOL! It was a thread like this that led me to the discovery of Data Lounge many, MANY, years ago. THAT THREAD WAS HILARIOUS!!! After all of these years I still remember many of the postings...
(Son): "Mom, I'm gay."
(Mom looks at her son with a pleasing cheshire smile and then begins yelling for her husband) "FRED! FRED!!! I told you! You owe me $50 bucks!"
(Fred/Husband) "But, do you win the $100?"
(Mom looks back to son with an ernest pleading gaze for him to give the correct answer...)
LOL!!!
by Anonymous | reply 24 | April 20, 2024 2:21 PM
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My dad got mad and yelled “cocksucker” at me. I replied “Who told you”??
by Anonymous | reply 25 | April 20, 2024 3:09 PM
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But Mr. Graham, aren't you proud that your son became a Senator?
by Anonymous | reply 26 | April 20, 2024 3:28 PM
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I think a lot straight dads of gay sons imagine them as tops.
by Anonymous | reply 28 | April 20, 2024 3:30 PM
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I've met a number of straight women who want to see and experience their husband/boyfriend bottoming. They want them to know how aggravating and uncomfortable it is to have someone jumping up and down on them...
by Anonymous | reply 29 | April 20, 2024 3:34 PM
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What a weird thing to say. I call BS.
by Anonymous | reply 30 | April 20, 2024 5:37 PM
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This father's EST wasn't unbelievable until he mentioned gay content on his 20-year-old son's computer.
A cellphone or TikTok would've been more believable these days.
by Anonymous | reply 31 | April 21, 2024 4:27 AM
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My son is the biggest most bust open pillow bitting popper sniffin bottom out there! Ain't nobody can service a truck stop like my champ! I always knew he was born to be the best. They call him "Swiss Cheese Stevie", yeah he's got a nickname just like Magic Johnson!
by Anonymous | reply 32 | April 21, 2024 4:30 AM
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“Dear Jake:
I have a hard time imagining my gay son getting fisted, with another man’s arm buried in his colon up to his elbow.
Can you help me?”
by Anonymous | reply 33 | April 21, 2024 4:35 AM
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A lot of such homophobia and specifically bottom-phobia is down to straight out (excuse the pun) misogyny. Being a bottom is seen as being “the woman” and that’s seen as degrading. The fact he’s “imagining” his son in sexual situations is also rather fucked up.
by Anonymous | reply 34 | April 21, 2024 9:26 AM
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It’s sex. Everyone almost everyone does it at some point in their life. Sex is the single most important act humans do. It’s what keeps our species a species. It’s normal it’s healthy, at least often healthy if done safely not so safe if not done safely.
Sex is like breathing or taking a pee. It’s part of life.
Parents should be talking about sex and sex lives with their kids. And the kids should feel comfortable talking to their parents about fucking, sucking, fisting and rimming etc. if it’s fucking normal to do it should not be forbidden to have intelligent conversations.
The prudes and the dirty sex people who think adults and young people need to keep all of this hidden from their parents are the true anti sex people. Forbidden and dirty and needs to be hidden.
Many of these anti sex prudes will have bareback orgies with the multitudes or suck lots of coke thru a gloyhole, but thinks what is wrong is talking to your parents about your sex lives. That’s fucked up. That’s not healthy.
Now be good boys and wear your rubbers when you go out——moms and dads advice of the day
by Anonymous | reply 35 | April 21, 2024 10:22 AM
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[quote]They want them to know how aggravating and uncomfortable it is to have someone jumping up and down on them.
You're doing it wrong.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | April 21, 2024 10:33 AM
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OK lets pretend its 1978 and a youngen asks you if he should be a top or bottom.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | April 21, 2024 1:42 PM
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NOT WITHOUT MY SON THE WHORELEENA!
by Anonymous | reply 38 | April 21, 2024 1:52 PM
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“Don’t you call my son a whore! He’s gay so he does what he wants! I gave him condoms! He ALWAYSuses them! I raised a good boy! He does anything for anyone. You should hear how he helped that guy at the park. Something about a lost dog, they found it in the bathroom.”
by Anonymous | reply 39 | April 21, 2024 1:56 PM
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[quote]OK lets pretend its 1978 and a youngen asks you if he should be a top or bottom.
Bottom.
They have more fun!
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 40 | April 21, 2024 2:16 PM
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R34 it's seen as degrading because it's between men. No one is berating women for being "bottoms"....and stop trying to infect every gay male convo here with dumb tumbr dumblr bs feminist taking points.
by Anonymous | reply 41 | April 21, 2024 2:19 PM
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[quote] OK lets pretend its 1978 and a youngen asks you if he should be a top or bottom.
Bottom.
Cuter and sexier outfits!
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 42 | April 21, 2024 2:28 PM
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Well considering the death toll of bottoms starting in 1981 that we saw the smart advice would be stick to being a total top. You will have better odds of surviving .Of course condoms and gloves would make a big difference as well.
When it comes to diagnosis and deaths related to sexually transmitted diseases is there any condition where tops are more at risk than bottoms ?
Remember it’s your own pretend son that we are giving this pretend advice to
by Anonymous | reply 43 | April 21, 2024 2:40 PM
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[quote]OK lets pretend its 1978 and a youngen asks you if he should be a top or bottom.
Bottom.
You will get all of the jocks and thugs--the bad boys, who will delude themselves into thinking that they are fucking pussy but then discover how GOOD THIS type of pussy REALLY is!!!
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 44 | April 21, 2024 2:44 PM
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[quote]OK lets pretend its 1978 and a youngen asks you if he should be a top or bottom.
Bottom.
[quote]You will get all of the jocks and thugs--the bad boys, who will delude themselves into thinking that they are fucking pussy but then discover how GOOD THIS type of pussy REALLY is!!!
Which means GIFTS!!!!
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 45 | April 21, 2024 2:51 PM
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[quote] “Dear Jake: I have a hard time imagining my gay son getting fisted, with another man’s arm buried in his colon up to his elbow. Can you help me?”
Yes. If you love your son, please trim your nails.
by Anonymous | reply 46 | April 21, 2024 3:01 PM
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"You will get all of the jocks and thugs"
That's not all you'd be getting.
by Anonymous | reply 47 | April 21, 2024 3:01 PM
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R41, it's true and it's not a talking point. There was a study recently showing that a lot of homophobia is really femme-phobia and rooted in fear of effeminacy in males. That's also where bottom shaming comes from
by Anonymous | reply 48 | April 21, 2024 3:35 PM
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Woman have been berated, looked down upon, and seen as weak and soft because they were dick receiving bottoms and not the strong hunters.
So do some straights and some gays look down on fem men because they adopt the weak and the soft and the dick receiving not the more traditional masculine? Sure and I bet it’s been that way since forever.
All the while woman are starting to take over and run things.
by Anonymous | reply 49 | April 21, 2024 3:42 PM
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rooted in fear of effeminacy in males.
But that's not the same as misogyny sweety. If it was we'd be told by society women should only peg men. But the most conservative, religious supposedly women hating tradition is of women BEING submissive and on the receiving end of things. They're judged if they're not. So how does that fit into your misogyny theory?
by Anonymous | reply 50 | April 21, 2024 3:42 PM
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"Woman have been berated, looked down upon, and seen as weak and soft because they were dick receiving bottoms and not the strong hunters"
The fuck? Women may have been seen as weaker in some contexts but if anything that made them mire livable and worthy if being protected, not berated or looked down upon....fucking hilarious.
by Anonymous | reply 51 | April 21, 2024 3:45 PM
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Yes woman looked down upon.
Not worthy of the vote, not worthy of being in the military, not worthy of medical or law school, not worthy of owning property directly, not worthy of being able to drive a car, not worthy to have control over her own body, property of the husband in many cultures.
The world is a bigger place, and there is something called history, than your small understanding would suggest..
Fucking hilarious back at ya tiger
by Anonymous | reply 52 | April 21, 2024 3:52 PM
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R52 women were infantilized because they were stuck tending homes and kids before technology made it possible for women to free themselves from that if the wanted it. No one is disputing that, and that it was unfair and oppresive. But you're ignoring the fact that they were deemed as more emotionally evolved and therefore more worthy of care and protection. Women and children 1st existed and still exists in many ways for a reason. And men WANTED their women like that. So again how does that fit in to the idea that the "feminine" is hated?
by Anonymous | reply 53 | April 21, 2024 4:01 PM
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And when I mean infantilized I mean infantilized. Women were literally a step above children in the law in many cases (though when they fought it, they usually found success) which is why they had less rights than men. Men had more rights but they also had more responsibilities and were wholly responsible in every way for their women, be it their wives, daughters, sisters. Obviously I'm not condoning it (it was unfair to both genders) but it's a more historically accurate and nuanced argument than "WAH MEN HATE WOMEN"
by Anonymous | reply 54 | April 21, 2024 4:08 PM
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R53
I never said fem was hated. I said it was looked down upon. Woman were restricted and managed and controlled by men throughout history.
But If you think the majority of citizens today look up to fem men as a standard to achieve for boys and men so be it.
Although as the song goes, the times they are a changing. The trans are demonstrating that.
by Anonymous | reply 55 | April 21, 2024 4:09 PM
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"I never said fem was hated. I said it was looked down upon. " Depends on the context. In certain contexts it was praised.
About fem men I don't disagree it's looked down upon but it's more about the conservative ideal of men being "masculine" and women being "feminine". Not misogyny.
As far as trans, no, they're actually playing up the conservative talking points that if you deviate from a traditional gender norm then you can't be considered of that gender.
by Anonymous | reply 56 | April 21, 2024 4:14 PM
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R53, femininity IN MALES is hated
by Anonymous | reply 57 | April 21, 2024 4:17 PM
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Men traditionally have been the masculine ones and woman the feminine ones. That’s not a conservative idea it’s a reality.
by Anonymous | reply 58 | April 21, 2024 4:19 PM
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Transwomen are hated more than transmen because of hatred of effeminacy in males. It's why conservatives are obsessed with Dylan Mulvaney and other MTF but don't care much about FTM
by Anonymous | reply 59 | April 21, 2024 4:19 PM
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R57 possibly but that's not what was up for discussion
by Anonymous | reply 60 | April 21, 2024 4:19 PM
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R59 except there really is no famous ftm trans celeb. Well except Elliot Page and I see him get plenty of ridicule and derision.
by Anonymous | reply 61 | April 21, 2024 4:21 PM
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Not as much as Dylan Mulvaney
by Anonymous | reply 62 | April 21, 2024 4:22 PM
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R62 not so sure about that but even if we entertain that notion
1-DM is much more in your face and outspoken. She talked to Biden, not EP who is relatively
2-DM just put a dress 2 years ago and supposedly still dates women. At least EP came out as a lesbian years ago.
3-the hate DM gets is because she goes about trying to be treated like a bio women who gets periods, etc, which showcases the criticism (from many feminists too) that you can switch genders on a whim. Has shit to do with being "feminibe"
by Anonymous | reply 63 | April 21, 2024 4:28 PM
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Plus EP is not getting "Man of the year" awards.
by Anonymous | reply 65 | April 21, 2024 4:31 PM
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R63, so anti-trans wingnuts are obsessed with picking on someone who isn't harming you or affecting your life in any way?
Effeminacy in males is hated, it's why gay men and MTF get more shit from straight guys than lesbians and FTM. Look at all the gay/trans panic murders
by Anonymous | reply 66 | April 21, 2024 4:59 PM
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What the fuck happened to this playful little thread?
by Anonymous | reply 67 | April 21, 2024 5:03 PM
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R8 - god damn - you're totally right. Holy shit does that site look cheap and simulated.
I thought it used to be an actual website - this looks completely automated and shitty.
by Anonymous | reply 68 | April 21, 2024 5:04 PM
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"Effeminacy in males is hated"
Dear lord the reading comprehension on this board is null. I never argued otherwise
"anti-trans wingnuts are obsessed with picking on someone who isn't harming you or affecting your life in any way?"
They get more hate from very liberal feminists that actually view the world through misogyny glasses thzn they do from right wing nuts, but nice job ignoring it.
by Anonymous | reply 69 | April 21, 2024 5:04 PM
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[quote]One issue I struggle most with, however, is that it’s hard to imagine him having sexual relations with another man if he’s the submissive partner. I realize I might be overstepping, but it would help me come to terms with his new identity if at least I knew he was the masculine, dominant one. I don’t like thinking about him in another way.
[quote]Is it okay to tell my son that I accept him being gay, as long as he isn’t the passive one in the bedroom? I think that would make it easier for me to come to terms with all this.
Because decent fathers imagine their sons having sex and want to be stage managers for the mental porn they're creating. Fuck YOU, Daddy, to disgusting asshole.
by Anonymous | reply 70 | April 21, 2024 5:05 PM
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Well... it seems that all of the fun (what little there was of it) for this thread has been totally obliterated...
MOVING ON. NEXT!
by Anonymous | reply 71 | April 21, 2024 5:16 PM
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I wonder what kind of evidence he found?
Solo jerk off porn= bottom?
Blowjob POV porn = top?
2 for 1 dildo sale = guess?
by Anonymous | reply 72 | April 21, 2024 5:37 PM
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R67, this is what happens when Reddit discovers Datalounge.
by Anonymous | reply 73 | April 21, 2024 6:08 PM
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This is a bit… “not my taste”.
by Anonymous | reply 76 | April 21, 2024 7:34 PM
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Is the dad asking Jake at State Farm?
by Anonymous | reply 78 | April 21, 2024 7:56 PM
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Dear Lord in Heaven,
My son's a catcher, not a pitcher!!!!
by Anonymous | reply 79 | April 21, 2024 8:26 PM
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All those rebellious str8 boys - if only they could realize that taking it up the ass would really piss Dad off the most!
by Anonymous | reply 80 | April 30, 2024 10:11 PM
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