Let’s be Beyoncé’s upcoming act 3 Rock album

I'm the 15 writers, per song.

I'm the much needed - and inevitable - autotune.

I'm the NYT review, full of superlatives.

I’m guest spots by Meshell Ndegeocello, Slash, Zoe Kravitz, Willow Smith, Darius Rucker, Rage Against The Machine, TV On The Radio and Alabama Shakes.

I'm Whoopie and Sunny on 'The View' praising the new album before it's even released.

I’m Jimmy Page, who turned down this insipid gig.

I'm JLo having a meltdown over her success. 'This Is Me...Jealous!'

I’m her blistering remake of Janet’s “Black Cat.”

I'm the 24 puff pieces in WaPo.

I'm Jolene, still irritated by Queen Bey's warnings. Dolly was politer. She asked me please don't take her man. Beyonce straight up threatened me.

I'm the Steven Tyler duet absolutely nobody asked for. I won't even mention the Slash guitar solo or the obvious inclusion of Lenny Kravitz .

I am Phoebe Bridges, Bruce Springsteen, Alanis Morrissette, , Nile Rodgers, Elton John, Lana Del Rey, Sufjan Stevens, and Bono. We will all be invited to collaborate. Only three of us will accept and one of those will be Bono.

I’m the ‘85 Camaro used for the album shoot. I’m hoping to burst into flames and end this humiliation.

I'm the duet with Barbra Streisand. 20 years ago, she would've never stooped so low to duet with Beyonce, but now at 82 she's desperate to stay vital in the music industry and try to eeek out one more #1 album for the 2020s. Including this duet with Beyonce on her album may just do it.

I'm the lawsuit that Paramore will file for one or more plagiarized tracks

I'm the Rolling Stones Article noting that this is the first time ever a Black woman has released a rock album

R16 I'm Donna Summer rolling in my grave, noting that Rolling Stone praised my rock album in 1980.

I’m this song and the inevitable Questlove cameo.

I'm Taylor Swift quietly waiting in the wings with my new album of heartbreak and lost lovers, ready to blow Beyonce off the charts...once again.

I'm Taylor. And it's already recorded, mixed and ready to break hearts.

I’ll be Nutbush City Limits.

I’m the desiccated voodoo doll of Luke Combs who got to Tracy Chapman first.

I'm the middle-aged White music critic in the Guardian.

"As a lifelong lover of indie and alt rock, Beyonce's new album has blown me away. Has she come to save rock from itself?"

I'm the collab with Sonic Youth. Therefore, I suck.