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I hate my In-Laws

Help me DL friends. I have been with a wonderful man for 13 years and most of the time we get along very well. The main problem is his family, mostly his mother and 3 sisters.

They live in the south and unfortunately we live a half an hour a way and they are very wealthy. His parents are from the fifties and were big fish in a small town so they are used to controlling everything. They have done nothing but cut me down and be cruel to me the entire time we have been together. My partner has stuck up for me many times with them but they continue to try to cause trouble and are constantly pressuring us to come to family gatherings they have made up because none of them have jobs or friends. They also treat me partner like crap but it doesn't seem to bother him.

I hate these people with a passion and they are nothing but a drain on my life and my relationship. My partner does stick up for me but then feels guilty if he doesn't go to some stupid party. I have threatened to leave twice and he does change but I want these people out of my life. They are horrible. I am seriously thinking of leaving this wonderful man becasue I am becoming bitter and defensive because I feel like I am being attacked all the time.

Not sure what to do but tired of living like this.

by Anonymousreply 809/07/2013

I feel your pain, OP. Nothing worse than having assholes for in-laws. My brother has been in a relationship for 13 years with a whiny paranoid drama queen who keeps shitting on me and my mother's heads (not to mention my two other sisters) over perceived slights that exist only in his head. We keep inviting them to our family gatherings and try to make him feel welcome as much as we can (Southern hospitality, you know). Do you think we ever get any thanks? No, last thing we heard, he was trying to make our brother chose between him and us. You would think he would be happy to politely turn down our invitations and stay home but no, he won't be satisfied until our brother cuts us off completely. Now that's what I call a controlling passive-aggressive bitch.

by Anonymousreply 112/29/2010

I could have written your post, OP (only my In- Laws are Midwestern). They are also big fish in a small pond, which annoys the fuck out of me. They look down on me for ridiculous reasons (my parent's are divorced and poor, I attended a public University, I am Lutherern, a democrat etc.) We moved away, so I now only have to deal with them every two months or so (yes they fly 1500 miles to see us that often because they miss their son so much). I was polite and kind to the entire family for years, and they walked all over me. I was pretty distant with them all, because I was sick of their shit. My partner told them that we wanted to spend Xmas alone a couple of years ago, and his mother sent me an email accusing me of trying to break up 'their' family. I went nuts, and sent an email back letting her know that I am his family and that she needed to deal with it or she wouldn't be welcome in our home. I also made a list of all of the shit that she has done in the last 12 years, and told her that I wouldn't tolerate it anymore. Guess what? She is sweet as pie to me now. It is phony, but she is so afraid of offending me and not being allowed back in our home that she tiptoes around me (which is better than the alternative). You need to put your foot down. They probably don't like you anyway, so you may as well get their respect.

by Anonymousreply 212/29/2010

OP here, R1 you made me laugh!! Thanks

Thank you R2, you described so many things we have in common! and yes I am the one trying to break up the family because I don't want to go over there every weekend and every holiday may be Mommy and Daddy's last.

I like your idea, I am just so sick of this shit and want them out of my life. But yes I will take the respect instead. I have a feeling we may have it out in the coming year because I am so tired of their high school games.

Thanks so much for the support!

by Anonymousreply 312/30/2010

R2, I look down on you for this: "my parent's"%0D %0D I mean, really. That's fifth-grade English, son.

by Anonymousreply 412/30/2010

My in-laws think I'm not good enough for their son. They're right, of course. They want me to be a doctor or lawyer and I'm not. I admit: I'm terrible on paper. I don't have much money or a clear career path. But I love their son, I take care of him, I'd do anything for him.

We got married last month. They haven't spoken to my husband since, because I "make the family look bad." He pretends it doesn't, but I know their distance and disapproval hurts him deeply.

Meanwhile, they collect kudos and awards for being pro-gay in their liberal community, and the mother uses her gay son to advance her political career - at the same time she's advising him to divorce me.

I kind of want to set them afire.

by Anonymousreply 509/07/2013

[quote]constantly pressuring us to come to family gatherings they have made up because none of them have jobs or friends.


They throw family gatherings and invite you and that's bad, somehow? Wtf?

by Anonymousreply 609/07/2013

[quote]but they continue to try to cause trouble and are constantly pressuring us to come to family gatherings they have made up because none of them have jobs or friends.

I must be missing something.

by Anonymousreply 709/07/2013

The OP is three years old.

by Anonymousreply 809/07/2013
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