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That moment when a straight guy realizes you''re cruising him.

I love, love, love their reaction. They feel so uncomfortable and inevitably look straight ahead, almost robotically, and get a gulp in their throat. It's so funny.%0D %0D %0D Tonight in the gym, this hottie who I know is straight came in my direction. I was sitting on the flat bench press, resting between sets. I stare at him pretty intently. At one point I can tell he picks up on my stare. That's when he looks straight ahead without batting an eyelash and gets the gulp in his throat. %0D %0D %0D It's no nice to make THEM feel uncomfortable and awkward for a change.

by Anonymousreply 155April 2, 2020 2:40 AM

they usually pull out at that point, kind of ruins it for me

by Anonymousreply 1December 24, 2010 4:14 AM

I did this accidentally the other day. He started flashing his wedding ring at me. But he was staring at me first!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 2December 24, 2010 4:30 AM

OP is to be congratulated on his rich and varied fantasy life.

by Anonymousreply 3December 24, 2010 4:35 AM

I pity all the future stinking, unshowered Marines who fear the male gaze.

by Anonymousreply 4December 24, 2010 4:36 AM

My favorite thing is when a straight guy feels like gays are cruising him and he does one of those absurd "spit" things, like he's on a baseball field. Oh, ok, we get it, you're straight. So boring.

by Anonymousreply 5December 24, 2010 4:45 AM

OP, he was probably shocked, when you said, "Yum!"

by Anonymousreply 6December 24, 2010 4:58 AM

I find holding forth a plate of fresh baked cookies does the trick.

by Anonymousreply 7December 24, 2010 5:05 AM

Thanks why we can't have nice things ... like a "str8 fb" -bwahahahaha!

by Anonymousreply 8December 24, 2010 5:39 AM

reckless horseplay leads to orbital fracture

by Anonymousreply 9December 24, 2010 5:48 AM

[italic]stinking, unshowered Marines who fear the male gaze[/italic]

I'll take two, please.

by Anonymousreply 10December 24, 2010 5:54 AM

Full of paranois, they stand sideways and at the urinal for fear that you might catch a glimpse of their dick.

by Anonymousreply 11December 24, 2010 6:00 AM

Or, OP, it could be like the guy I was checking out coming out of the coffee shop the other day, yelling "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, FAGGOT?" Then cursing at me and shaking his head as I hurriedly rushed past him.

Some of them choose to bash us, and that's not so fun.

by Anonymousreply 12December 24, 2010 6:23 AM

R12, perhaps uttering "Yum" while attired in a caftan was not the wisest choice at that moment?

by Anonymousreply 13December 24, 2010 6:32 AM

But I do appreciate the concept. Some straight guys DESERVE to be gawked at and made to feel uncomfortable in the same way they gawk at and make women feel uncomfortable. Works both ways, pal.

by Anonymousreply 14December 24, 2010 6:33 AM

You should have raped him op and then told him he deserved it because of what he was wearing.

by Anonymousreply 15December 24, 2010 6:44 AM

You sound obnoxious, op.%0D %0D I'm usually not in the habit of TRYING to make people uncomfortable.%0D %0D In the dictionary, there's a word for it - it's called CREEPY.

by Anonymousreply 16December 24, 2010 6:51 AM

R14 I make it a point to always give a heavy cruise to a guy that I've just seen obnoxiously ogling a woman. I like to give them a taste of their own medicine. You are so right about the gulp and staring ahead OP. Exactly.

by Anonymousreply 17December 24, 2010 6:53 AM

I think I love r15.

by Anonymousreply 18December 24, 2010 2:26 PM

R12, you should have politely told him he had a booger coming out of his nose.

by Anonymousreply 19December 24, 2010 2:33 PM

I never post this, BUT, this is literally why they hate us.

by Anonymousreply 20December 24, 2010 2:36 PM

R11 I know, I always get a laugh out of that. And most of the guys I've seen do it aren't all that hot, either. I almost want to say to them, "What makes you think I'd WANT to see your dick"?

by Anonymousreply 21December 24, 2010 2:42 PM

Some of you queens are really sociopathic.

by Anonymousreply 22December 24, 2010 2:46 PM

How do you feel about the moment after that %E2%80%A6 when he drags you into the alley and starts kicking the shit out of you for fulfilling his preconception of fags as sexual predators whose intent is to turn all straight people gay?

by Anonymousreply 23December 24, 2010 4:06 PM

nothing, because THAT. NEVER. HAPPENS.

by Anonymousreply 24December 24, 2010 4:19 PM

I guess it all depends on how you do it. I steal glances, but when they glare back I avert my eyes. I also get the spitting that #5 described (flyover state). It's a tricky enterprise. All I want to do is look. Hey, don't be surprised if someone you DON'T desire checks you out. You don't have to look back.

by Anonymousreply 25December 24, 2010 4:39 PM

I avoid checking out straight guys. Most straight American males are pathologically entitled and homophobic: They don't deserve my attention. There are plenty of good-looking gay guys to check out in my 'hood and there's always the internet. I'm not so self-hating or so starved for images of good-looking guys I have to look at lunkish, idiotic straight guys, thanks.

by Anonymousreply 26December 24, 2010 4:49 PM

OP sounds like a creep.

by Anonymousreply 27December 24, 2010 4:56 PM

R26, you sound very flyover. the straights in my 'hood really couldn't care less if I check them out.

by Anonymousreply 28December 24, 2010 5:01 PM

I get the exasperated head turn suggesting "Oh, I am so sick of being ogled by all you tired old queens." If the guy is actually gay it suggests "As if!"

by Anonymousreply 29December 24, 2010 5:04 PM

This is why they hate us.

by Anonymousreply 30December 24, 2010 5:13 PM

I am usually tempted to shout "I'm looking because everybody thinks you're GAY!", but I never bother. I really should.

by Anonymousreply 31December 24, 2010 6:46 PM

Some straight guys take it okay, others don't. It helps if you don't overdo it and cruise them for more than a few seconds.

by Anonymousreply 32December 24, 2010 10:02 PM

"the straights in my 'hood really couldn't care less if I check them out."%0D %0D The home for the developmentally disabled which you frequent isn't technically a neighborhood, R28.

by Anonymousreply 33December 24, 2010 10:13 PM

"I make it a point to always give a heavy cruise to a guy that I've just seen obnoxiously ogling a woman. I like to give them a taste of their own medicine."

r17, I love you.

by Anonymousreply 34December 28, 2010 12:54 PM

Or how 'bout the straight guys that think EVERY gay guy is cruising them? I was sitting in a restaurant once with some friends. I was kind of tired, so I wasn't very talkative, and started doing that "zoning out" thing...you know, when you're staring at something but not really seeing it.%0D %0D All of a sudden, this guy at a table across the restaurant bellows out "Hey, faggot, and I'm not wearing any underwear, either!" It shocked me out of my stupor, and I started looking around to see who he was talking to. Lo and behold, he was talking to ME! Apparently he thought I was staring at him laciviously or something...or just looking at him -- which some straight guys can't handle from we poofs.%0D %0D Very embarrassing..at the time, I thought for me alone. But for him, too. What an idiot. And for the record, he had nothing to worry about. He was a pig.

by Anonymousreply 35December 28, 2010 1:20 PM

"It's no nice to make THEM feel uncomfortable and awkward for a change."%0D %0D I suppose you mean "SO nice". Anyway, you're probably just a stupid troll. But it you're not, then you're a sick, twisted gay man who for some reason thinks he's striking a blow, so to speak, for gay rights by sexually harassing straight men (staring IS a form of harassment). Well, all you're doing is making an idiot of yourself. And chances are one of these men you're annoying is going to get fed up enough to beat the living crap out of you.

by Anonymousreply 36December 28, 2010 2:06 PM

As a woman, I do like the aspect of having a straight man feel what it means to be a girl. They feel absolutely entitled to stare to the point of discomfort for women. And yet they don't stop. When they're the disinterested or disgusted object of desire, I often wonder if they make any connection to what they subject me to. I doubt it. They'll just fixate on the 'faggot's checking me out'. So although maybe it's meants as a 'taste of their own medicine', I don't think those taste buds are activated.

by Anonymousreply 37December 28, 2010 4:33 PM

Some straight guys DO NOT like to be cruised. You guys are asking to get punched in the face or something.

by Anonymousreply 38December 28, 2010 4:40 PM

I'm 6' 5" and 230 lbs. I love it on the crowded six train when I'm holding the pole next to a shorter hot guy. It's almost like we're spooning. I sudden stop or incoming crowd I have to move out of the way for he gets thrust on his ass. Love it.

by Anonymousreply 39December 28, 2010 4:50 PM

I am very naive when it comes to cruising. %0D %0D I work out a lot, and there are these three guys who constantly stare at me. One of the guys is older, in his late 50s/early 60s at least. The other two are my age, 24/25. They are always together, and they are bodybuilders - they spend ample amounts of time in the gym, as do I. They are always staring at me through the mirror, in person, and working out near me. Is this cruising? %0D %0D They don't come off as nice, I have also heard them say some pretty homophobic stuff, and not in a joking way - in a bashing way. So I am not even sure they are gay or not. But, would homophobic guys cruise guys at the gym?%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 40December 28, 2010 4:56 PM

bump. %0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 41December 30, 2010 5:36 PM

Chill r36. Let OP have his fun.

by Anonymousreply 42January 2, 2011 2:39 PM

Sex negative people in general are screwed up and mentally ill, obviously including R36

by Anonymousreply 43January 4, 2011 1:09 AM

why not make a gang of gays who rapes straight guys i think thats great and take them a video while the are being raped hahaha

by Anonymousreply 44April 19, 2012 2:28 PM

OP gets his caftan stuck in the treadmill.

by Anonymousreply 45April 19, 2012 2:37 PM

OP: Setting the gay rights movement back decades, one heterosexual at a time.

Brav-fucking-O, douchebag.

by Anonymousreply 46April 19, 2012 2:46 PM

R44 is sick. Doubly so for bumping this thread after over a year.

by Anonymousreply 47April 19, 2012 2:50 PM

The idea that we should be ashamed of doing polite flirting with a guy unless we know 100% sure he is gay is absurd.

If some guy can't take a little harmless flirtation that is not our problem. Are straight guys expected to make sure a girl is not a lesbian? Are straight girls expected to make sure a guy is not gay? There is so much inherent straight male entitlement in that thought process that I am so ashamed to see my fellow gay dudes parrot.

(And mind you, this is normal flirtatiousness, not creepy cruising which is never appropriate IMO)

by Anonymousreply 48April 19, 2012 2:57 PM

I check out straight women all the time. But I'm a typical "ass man," so they rarely notice -- unless they turn around while I'm doing it. OOOPS!

by Anonymousreply 49April 19, 2012 3:01 PM

I think any flirting with people you don't know should be rather discreet and lightweight. If a person looks away, get a hint, and stop staring or following. That's creepy.

by Anonymousreply 50April 19, 2012 3:05 PM

[quote]The idea that we should be ashamed of doing polite flirting with a guy unless we know 100% sure he is gay is absurd.

That's not what OP is talking about and you know it. It's right there in the thread title: OP likes making STRAIGHT men uncomfortable by agressively cruising them.

by Anonymousreply 51April 19, 2012 3:12 PM

I've seen a variety of reactions when a straight guy catches on that you are looking at him -

From the "stop looking at me" stare - to the attempt to simply leave the area - to the grabbing of his wife / girlfriend and kissing and hanging all over her - to the spitting (as someone else pointed out) to the most interesting reaction, which is the package adjustment (which I've never quite understood; is it protection move or a tease?)

My favorite - and never repeated - was actually when I noticed this really tall, handsome guy walk in to the store I was working at (years ago). I was just drinking in the sight of him, TOTALLY not even realizing that there was a woman on his arm. But she noticed me noticing him - and when I realized she was there (his back was to me), she was just smiling at me - not in a mean way, but an amused 'yeah, I caught you' look. I almost started laughing and held my head down in mock shame, and she just kind of laughed and smiled back at me before turning her attention back to her husband / boyfriend.

by Anonymousreply 52April 19, 2012 3:20 PM

Guys checking out girls is a way of life. Guys checking out guys is detrimental to our civil rights?

It seems some people here would have gay people cover up in burkas and a veil lest a straight man see our eyes wander.

by Anonymousreply 53April 19, 2012 3:25 PM

Do you have Asperger's, R53?

Seriously.

by Anonymousreply 54April 19, 2012 3:33 PM

I’ve told this story before on DL:

In the 80’s, I had a straight (gay-friendly) boss who lost a lot of weight. None of his clothes fit and they were not very stylish or flattering to his new body. Two of the gay guys in the office took him out shopping at several men’s clothing stores to help him pick out and coordinate new business and casual outfits. He spent a lot of money, but was not convinced that the new stuff was any better than his old clothes. One of the gay guys said to him “Norman, are you kidding? After you tried on that last outfit, you got cruised by the sales guy and by that hunky guy over there!”

My boss came back to the office, arms filled with his new purchases, screaming with joy “I got cruised! I got CRUISED!” He shared this story with his wife and with any colleague who’d listen. It really changed his appreciation of new svelte figure.

We recreated that “I got cruised!” moment many times at the office. Always good for a laugh.

by Anonymousreply 55April 19, 2012 3:40 PM

I laugh and point at their crotch and say, a cock ring would make it look bigger, dude.

by Anonymousreply 56April 19, 2012 3:51 PM

[quote] OP is to be congratulated on his rich and varied fantasy life.

It's not that varied. It always involves cruising straight men at the gym, and so ad infinitum.

by Anonymousreply 57April 19, 2012 4:15 PM

Please, bitch, that was me you were looking at ... and the swallow was me forcing down the urp i coughed up in my mouth when I got a look at your spare tire and layered chins.

by Anonymousreply 58April 19, 2012 4:50 PM

Assbergers is debunked, R54. It's quackery.

by Anonymousreply 59April 19, 2012 4:57 PM

[quote] which some straight guys can't handle from we poofs.

And you went on to call HIM an idiot? Are you Lorelei Lee?

by Anonymousreply 60April 19, 2012 5:11 PM

Assburgers would probably be big sellers.

by Anonymousreply 61April 19, 2012 5:13 PM

Assburgers is common among straight guys. Big sellers? Maybe to the scat-lovers.

by Anonymousreply 62April 19, 2012 5:16 PM

"From the "stop looking at me" stare - to the attempt to simply leave the area - to the grabbing of his wife / girlfriend and kissing and hanging all over her - to the spitting (as someone else pointed out) to the most interesting reaction, which is the package adjustment (which I've never quite understood; is it protection move or a tease?)"

Wow. I was subjected to two of these reactions just yesterday on the subway. Saw a guy around 27 in impeccably cut grey trousers and white shirt. Russian-looking with a huge Roman nose, thick black hair and a hairy chest. The guy was so hot. And I thought I was being discreet in my appreciation, but I guess not. Because he adjusted himself like 3 times - quite openly. Like literally grabbed his dick and moved it around. After the 3rd time, he just walked to the other end of the car. wtf?

by Anonymousreply 63April 19, 2012 5:32 PM

What's up with guys adjusting their packages when you check them out? I have experienced this too. A lot. They kind of look my way and fondle their cocks at mt gym. But, quickly. It's not in an obscene or obnoxious way either.

by Anonymousreply 64April 19, 2012 5:39 PM

I don't know about adjusting packages but I speak about sexuality at college classes, as an out gay man, and there is always at least one straight guy sitting like this.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 65April 19, 2012 5:50 PM

I see that a lot too. Guy spread their legs at me too. In class, I will talk to them, and they just their legs wide open.

by Anonymousreply 66April 19, 2012 5:56 PM

LOL @ R58.

Must be an impostor though. The real MHB is never funny.

by Anonymousreply 67April 19, 2012 5:59 PM

Some guys just sit like that R65/66. My son is 6'6' and he always sits that way because he's all legs and can't get comfortable.

by Anonymousreply 68April 19, 2012 6:01 PM

Everybody sits like that in class r65/66.

And r65, couldn't you have found a better pic?

by Anonymousreply 69April 19, 2012 6:04 PM

what is a ROman nose?

by Anonymousreply 70April 19, 2012 6:12 PM

R55, loved your story. Your old boss sounds like a fun guy.

by Anonymousreply 71April 19, 2012 6:13 PM

For R69.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 72April 19, 2012 6:15 PM

I don't know, R69/68. Maybe you're right, but when a guy looks you deep into your eyes and apread his legs, that's something else to me. But, who knows. haha. I was uncomfortable to say the least. I looked away.

by Anonymousreply 73April 19, 2012 6:19 PM

spreads...

sorry.

by Anonymousreply 74April 19, 2012 6:24 PM

I don't know if this video fits here or not, but it's REAL cruising captured on camera.

It really should have its own thread, so...

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 75April 19, 2012 6:26 PM

That is definitely real r75. I wonder where it is.

by Anonymousreply 76April 19, 2012 6:40 PM

Guys like to lift their shirts to show me their abs. I don't get it, but I don't want them to stop, ever.

Oh:

"(staring IS a form of harassment)"

So is the crazy.

by Anonymousreply 77April 19, 2012 6:46 PM

for r70

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 78April 19, 2012 7:01 PM

This has always been an interesting pastime for me but seldom have I been as lascivious, obnoxious or aggressive conduct like the OP.

I appreciate beauty in both males and females and that has worked out for me sometimes and sometimes not.

I was once the subway. I found myself staring a hot guy across from me, who was in the open leg position. Handsome, almost to the point of beautiful.I thought he should model or be an actor. He caught me staring so I averted my eyes but continued to steal glances . Every time I looked in his direction he was staring at me. I assumed he was cruising me also, so I continued to occasionally look in his direction and we would lock eyes, but nothing lascivious on my part. (i.e. no crotch grabbing or sticking out tongue licking my lips).It continued for a while but he suddenly yelled' You got a problem?" and I thought this can't end well. Thankfully he got off at the next stop but ever since I have been very more conscious of not staring and certainly not assuming anything.

When I was in college I saw a new face in the cafeteria and found myself staring at him. He caught me, we made eye contact and he smiled. From then on this was our ritual .I nicknamed him "Eyes" as he had some of the most beautiful eyes ,grey with dark lashes even though he was an almost a greyish light blonde which made him very exotic looking.His best friend was one of the best looking guys on campus and built like a brick shit house . If he caught me even nodding in their direction ,he glared. I assumed they were boyfriends. This continued the entire school year.That summer school semester I was in town visiting friends and we were going to a Police concert. Andy Summers was doing a book signing at the local mall. I went and "Eyes" was also there. That was the day we progressed to "hello".

The following semester a friend who lived in his dorm was performing in their dorm "talent"show and I went with 2 friends."Eyes" ]and friend happened to be sitting directly behind us. After an Africa-American girl with an fro,wearing a belt which not went around her waist butt through her legs and who jumped off the stage while singing "Closely Watch Me Now." A terrible off-key "Memory" by the alleged voice major .My friend's off-key, plaintive rendition of the theme from ARTHUR. A partially deaf girl who signed, danced and lip synched with another girl to "Enough Is Enough" and told the "DJ " If duj mu-sici id too loud you can turn id down". By that point I was reduced staring at the ceiling trying to keep it together. When a guy with a guitar began singing "Don't Cry Daddy" (an Elvis song I had never heard) thelyrics struck me as hysterically funny:

Don't cry daddy Daddy, please don't cry Daddy, you've still got me and little Tommy Together we'll find a brand new mommy

I was chewing on my collar.

I was chewing on my collar.

"Eyes" apparently did know the song and leaned forward whispering the next lyric in my ear as I muttered "Stop!Stop! under my breathe.

I got to know him after he began dating a girl I became good friends after we were assigned the balcony scene from ROMEO & JULIET in acting class.We also made out once at a dance very hot and heavy. (She was sitting on my lap and I was straddling both sides of the fence at that time). However ,once they started dating my hots for him diminished...somewhat. I just focused on how lucky she was.

By that point he had moved into my dorm into a single room .One Saturday night a bunch of us were hanging with nothing to do when a guy with who was a diver suggested we go to his house and party since his parents were out of town. By the time I arrived there were about 20 people there, both sexes and even thought it was October some people were in the pool or part of a never ending rotation in and out of the outdoor jacuzzi or inside talking and drinking beer.All very tame.(No skinny dipping and all the guys were in boxer shorts or his extra swimsuits ."Eyes" was one of the first into the pool wearing a swimsuit but got out and did the towel

by Anonymousreply 79April 20, 2012 3:59 AM

the towel dance to remove his shorts but never put any dry ones on. Earlier we had both been in the jacuzzi together with probably 6 other people Everyone crashed there. Very BEACH PARTY.

Next semester I was lived off campus and seldom saw either of them. I finally ran into him in a bar near campus on cheap beer night when I was drowning my sorrows after my first long term relationship ended badly.We hung out,drank more beer and he was cool discussing my breakup. When the bar closed we walked outside and it was snowing . Rather than my driving home drunk in snow, he offered me his floor. Once we had stripped down to our underwear (both in no-fly low-rise colored briefs) he climbed into bed and I into a sleeping bag on the floor but we continued talking. Feeling brave and being drunk,I told him I was attracted to him and asked if he had ever been aware of it . Not only did he admit he knew but he had been playing along all the time. I asked about his friend ,who he said was straight and nothing ever happened between they and admitted he also thought he was hot. He told me he transferred after dating one of his female professors who was 36 which also ended badly and at the same time he was dating an older man. We were both probably 22 at the time. Nothing ultimately happened and who knows if anything would have. Since he was dating a close friend of mine-there are some lines I don't cross. That was the last time I saw him and may be one of the regrets of my life.

One summer when I was home I was at the local university library reading (better selection than the public library and a really cute pocket gay kept staring at me and getting up from his table and walking by. (I'm 5'7 so I guess I am a pocket gay too) This was a situation when the open leg spread was appropriate. After about an hour of this, the closing in 15 minutes annoucement was made and I figured since really no longer I lived here, what the hell?

I walked over to his table and asked him.

"So what do you want my name and number?"

He stammered "i don't know" but suddenly he shook my hand as we exchanged names which not only made me think -he has good manners -and it was a bit of turn on .We sat on the steps outside waiting for his dad to pick him up. History major, on the swim team.Local who wanted the "living on campus" experience. We made a date to meet same place, same time but I didn't expect him to show up but he did, right on schedule. We went to bar, drank a pitcher of beer and then I suggested we go to a local park and talk . We ended up on a hill overlooking the baseball field and when the lights were turned off we stared silently at the moon. I moved closer so our legs were touching. He turned to me and said "One brave move deserves another" and next thing I knew we naked and rolling around in the grass kissing. It never went beyond sucking ,I was covered with mosquito bites the next day but worth every itch and remains one of the hottest experiences of my life. He was blonde, tan,stereotypical swimmer body , man groomed but still just hairy enough.Tighty whities .And for anyone still reading and wondering-cock about 5 inches and on the thin side. But who cared? .

by Anonymousreply 80April 20, 2012 4:02 AM

After that incident he was suddenly never available but after about 2 weeks of only talking on the phone, he invited over to his dorm room, coincidentally btw between summer sessions .We laid side my side and he told me he was very conflicted and dealing with wasn't something I wanted to get mixed up with. Also neither of us wanted a summer fling and especially me as this was the summer after my breakup. We both agreed it would be too painful to part at the end of the summer . I almost never came home, even for holidays and it just wouldn't work out. We parted ways and he is another one I never saw again. My patents actually told me they saw in the paper he had gotten married. Probably best it didn't go further.

My last similar flirtation started in another university library after I had transferred to another school. Studying, a hot Mediterranean type and I kept making a eye contact. He was surrounded by girls. I recognized him as I would often see him coming out of a classroom building after my classes were over and I was walking to commuter parking .I soon figured out he lived within walking distance from campus. I may have actually followed him in my car. One day I timed it to be meet him coming out and so we were walking to the lot more or less side by side I asked him if he wanted a ride home and he said no, it wasn't too far to where he lived. Foreign with an accent. I asked him if he mind if I walked with him and he said do whatever you want,which I found oddly very sexy and for some reason a bit dangerous. Turned out he was living with an host family. No one else was home but all we did was stand in the kitchen drinking water but he remained coy and I left with no wish to pursue it. Being new meat on campus I had plenty of gay guys in my classes hitting on me and the intrigue wasn't really worth the effort.

Nowadays I will occasionally cruise obvious gay men which inevitability leads to mutual masturbation or oral sex in a bathroom or we go back one of our's apartments.

I still have my straight boy flirtations and crushes-a Starbuck barrister close to work.An attorney in my office building. A guy who works in the local head shop. An award winning owner and chef of a local restaurant.

Anyone else care to share good/bad experiences?

by Anonymousreply 81April 20, 2012 4:03 AM

After that incident he was suddenly never available but after about 2 weeks of only talking on the phone, he invited over to his dorm room, coincidentally btw between summer sessions .We laid side my side and he told me he was very conflicted and dealing with wasn't something I wanted to get mixed up with. Also neither of us wanted a summer fling and especially me as this was the summer after my breakup. We both agreed it would be too painful to part at the end of the summer . I almost never came home, even for holidays and it just wouldn't work out. We parted ways and he is another one I never saw again. My patents actually told me they saw in the paper he had gotten married. Probably best it didn't go further.

My last similar flirtation started in another university library after I had transferred to another school. Studying, a hot Mediterranean type and I kept making a eye contact. He was surrounded by girls. I recognized him as I would often see him coming out of a classroom building after my classes were over and I was walking to commuter parking .I soon figured out he lived within walking distance from campus. I may have actually followed him in my car. One day I timed it to be meet him coming out and so we were walking to the lot more or less side by side I asked him if he wanted a ride home and he said no, it wasn't too far to where he lived. Foreign with an accent. I asked him if he mind if I walked with him and he said do whatever you want,which I found oddly very sexy and for some reason a bit dangerous. Turned out he was living with an host family. No one else was home but all we did was stand in the kitchen drinking water but he remained coy and I left with no wish to pursue it. Being new meat on campus I had plenty of gay guys in my classes hitting on me and the intrigue wasn't really worth the effort.

Nowadays I will occasionally cruise obvious gay men which inevitability leads to mutual masturbation or oral sex in a bathroom or we go back one of our's apartments.

I still have my straight boy flirtations and crushes-a Starbuck barrister close to work.An attorney in my office building. A guy who works in the local head shop. An award winning owner and chef of a local restaurant.

Anyone else care to share good/bad experiences?

by Anonymousreply 82April 20, 2012 4:07 AM

I have a bad experience to share.

It was reading the frau flashfiction you just posted above me.

Get a blog, girl.

by Anonymousreply 83April 20, 2012 5:52 AM

There is an advantage to being a big gay guy. I get to cruise whichever hot guy I want on the subway, and even the homophobic ones won't dare say crap to me. They just get huffy and turn around, letting me check out that pretty little ass of theirs.

by Anonymousreply 84April 20, 2012 6:36 AM

I don't cruise dudes. Sometimes, I cruise a hot chicks. I get cruised by dudes.

by Anonymousreply 85April 20, 2012 3:14 PM

Which muumuu did you wear today, r85? The pink floral one or the orange paisley?

by Anonymousreply 86April 20, 2012 3:22 PM

Staring at a hot straight man is my way way of saying, "I don't respect you." I have no problem making them feel uncomfortable.

by Anonymousreply 87April 20, 2012 3:29 PM

R87 and others who have these anger issues, you are damaged. Why would you intentionally make anyone feel uncomfortable? Why would you STARE at ANYONE that way? It IS creepy. Someone's sexual orientation is what it is. There are wonderful straight men on the planet and some awful ones. There are some pretty awful gay men, too.

What you are describing are acts of aggression, no better than a straight bully, only you are doing it passive aggressively.

THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOU. Not straight men.

by Anonymousreply 88April 20, 2012 3:36 PM

There is nothing damaged about, R88. You, on other hand, would drop to your knees suck that asshole's cock because you yourself as inferior and less-than, just like more than half of the self-loathing basement-dwellers on this web site.

by Anonymousreply 89April 20, 2012 4:35 PM

"anger issues" rather.

by Anonymousreply 90April 20, 2012 4:40 PM

But I don't want to make men I find attractive feel uncomfortable. I want to show them respect.

But I also have not always found straight men to be appalled by my looking at them. I suppose it's how one looks at a person that helps determine the response.

by Anonymousreply 91April 20, 2012 4:49 PM

If you're hot, R91, you're "respected". That's it. If you're not hot, you're a creep.

by Anonymousreply 92April 20, 2012 4:55 PM

R91, it's not that you find them attractive (why would I find a douchey straight guy attractive?), it's a power thing. Worrying about offending straight men, and going out of your way to accomodate them is why you don't get any respect. Treat them like garbage and you're the one who comes out on top. That's the way it is.

by Anonymousreply 93April 21, 2012 12:06 PM

Best to butch it up and say, 'hey' or 'hows it going?' Cruising the way the sociopathic OP described is super creepy, regardless of sexuality. If you say something neutral and 'not loaded', they just might respect you for at least being chill and confident or they may actually think you've met before. OP sounds like he deserves a good bitch slap and it sounds like he might like it. Which is a problem. This behavior is repulsive to straight men not because it's homosexual (not anymore) but because it is simultaneously pushy and sad.

Some gyms are just not sexual places, so don't make them into one. Gay men at gyms can be so desperately swishy and 'insertive', doing that one thing any modern gay man should never do - 'the lean'. 'The Lean' is when a desperate, antagonistic queen walks/swans past (seemingly pissed at the target's very existence, paradoxically) then leans into the target's field of view in one last 'attempt'. It's that one last 'exit leer'. It's unbelievable. This is homosexual desperation, self-devaluation and self-hatred writ large. Leave the conquest alone, he's clueless. Gay men who do this are usually doughy anyway and need to focus on why they bought the gym membership in the first place.

One more suggestion: when you sit next to a guy who is alone, has fitness goals and clearly not interested and you pretend to exercise in an effort to magically alter his sexuality, do more than one set before you leave your bench. Do three sets - it's a little less obvious that way.

What OP described is really base behavior, usually reserved for emotionally disturbed fuggers. It's pathetic people defend this behavior as if it's their 'right' to stalk someone and make them feel insecure, even if the straight target is a sex pig with women. Two wrongs don't make a right. You just might deserve to have your teeth chipped and jaw broken by a startled, vulnerable guy minding his own business who wants to be left the fuck alone. Like somebody being bullied, maybe.

by Anonymousreply 94April 23, 2012 11:35 PM

r94, got any links that illustrate that leer?

by Anonymousreply 95April 23, 2012 11:41 PM

I can tell the moment a straight guy notices I'm gay. I'm sure my eyes dart to all the places a guy's shouldn't go. Sometimes they puffeth up (hey, everyone likes to feel desired- you just can't choose who checks you out).

by Anonymousreply 96April 24, 2012 1:03 AM

What a fucked up thread. Sounds like a pathetic excuse to be lecherous towards someone you know has no interest.

by Anonymousreply 97April 24, 2012 1:14 AM

[quote].I soon figured out he lived within walking distance from campus. I may have actually followed him in my car. One day I timed it to be meet him coming out and so we were walking to the lot more or less side by side I asked him if he wanted a ride home and he said no, it wasn't too far to where he lived. Foreign with an accent. I asked him if he mind if I walked with him and he said do whatever you want,which I found oddly very sexy and for some reason a bit dangerous. Turned out he was living with an host family. No one else was home but all we did was stand in the kitchen drinking water but he remained coy and I left with no wish to pursue it. Being new meat on campus I had plenty of gay guys in my classes hitting on me and the intrigue wasn't really worth the effort.

by Anonymousreply 98April 24, 2012 1:18 AM

3/10

by Anonymousreply 99April 24, 2012 1:35 AM

Staring is a sign of aggression.

by Anonymousreply 100April 24, 2012 1:39 AM

The rule is three seconds. Here's a training video.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 101April 24, 2012 2:41 AM

"It's no (sic) nice to make THEM feel uncomfortable and awkward for a change."

What ever could be "nice" about making a complete stranger feel uncomfortable, unless one is a complete asshole? But you know that already, OP---your Freudian slip, noted by others as well, reveals ALL about you.

by Anonymousreply 102April 24, 2012 2:52 AM

How about have some self respect and don't come on to people who don't want you.

by Anonymousreply 103April 28, 2012 5:55 PM

Smell my finger R103! That's from YOUR ASS and YOU WANTED IT!

by Anonymousreply 104February 18, 2013 9:52 PM

Guys who are totally comfortable in their skin don't get bothered by a cruise from anyone, male or female.

by Anonymousreply 105February 19, 2013 4:33 PM

OP, you're just making it worse for gays and racking up opposition against our cause. It looks so desperate and he's just going to think you would sleep with anyone. You should be uncomfortable because he's thinking you're a diseased creature.

by Anonymousreply 106February 19, 2013 4:39 PM

This is a bumped thread from 2010 people.

And what R105 said is true. There is nothing wrong with some noncreepy flirting with someone, if they aren't interested they will make it clear. You can't know if a guy is gay/bi just from looking.

These are probably all points that have been rehashed, cause this thread another victim of that poster going bumping all the old threads.

by Anonymousreply 107February 19, 2013 4:44 PM

I have a straight friend in his early 20s, extremely good looking and gets hit on by gay guys all the time. He couldn't care less - a compliment is a compliment to him.

by Anonymousreply 108February 19, 2013 4:47 PM

Straight men are way hotter than girly gay men

by Anonymousreply 109February 19, 2013 5:23 PM

I put the fear of god in a frau tonight. I was walking the mall, and as I was about to enter a shop, I noticed this terribly cute guy with his frau-ish looking wife. He obviously noticed me as well, because our eyes locked, holding each other's gazes for more than a few seconds. Well, the wife must've taken note of our lustful exchange of glances. She grabbed her man's hand for dear life and shot me a smug, gloating look as they walked away, all gestures to telegraph to me that that man belongs to her. Obviously, this is not the first time this has happened to them.

I can just imagine the fear that goes through a woman's mind at that very moment when she realizes that her man longs for cock and the musky scent of testosterone that only a virile man can offer. Everything she stands for, how she defines herself as a woman, and the only life she knows are threatened at that moment. Just think about it. When one feels threatened they go into attack mode, which is obviously what this wife did tonight. Her manifestation of "attack mode" was to take hold of his hand and give me a smug look.

by Anonymousreply 110March 3, 2013 1:34 AM

[post by racist shit-stain #3 removed.]

by Anonymousreply 111March 3, 2013 1:51 AM

R5 and R25 That's what all the spitting is about? I used to notice black guys especially doing it in DC as they walked past me all the time.

It's because they thought I was looking at them? I thought they were just being disgusting. Who spits on the sidewalk?

by Anonymousreply 112March 3, 2013 2:01 AM

I never know what's staring and what's cruising. It's like, you look at a guy at the same time he's looking at you, then you look away, then you look back at him and he looks at you.... it goes on for a bit, then you start thinking, "OMG - he probably thinks I'm staring at him, and it's probably freaking him out." It's a fine line.

by Anonymousreply 113March 3, 2013 2:26 AM

I have a straight friend that I flirt with all the time. He takes it so well that I sometimes wonder if he is secretly in to me, but I'm pretty sure he is just flattered by it.

Talk about fine lines... I think I'll keep pushing it until I am absolutely sure he is 100% straight.

by Anonymousreply 114March 24, 2013 12:44 AM

Hot young straight guys ("bros") are the Gods of this world. If one talks to me or is friendly to me, I feel totally validated as a person.

If one deigns to allow me to suck him off, alls the better.

by Anonymousreply 115May 28, 2013 4:44 AM

IF they gulp, they are closeted. Excessive salivation is one of the signs of attraction.

by Anonymousreply 116May 28, 2013 1:07 PM

I don't get the need to make others uncomfortable. I admit some straight guys are hot and nice to look at, and I've cruised guys who ultimately weren't interested, but I don't go around aggressively seeking out subjects to discomfort.

You sound weird and damaged, OP. Likely very unhappy, too.

by Anonymousreply 117May 28, 2013 1:15 PM

R115 that's crap. Get some slf-respect, you don't et any kind of validation fom feeling that a young 'straight' guy is in any way better than anyone else.

by Anonymousreply 118May 28, 2013 2:14 PM

hot

by Anonymousreply 119July 2, 2013 12:16 PM

v

by Anonymousreply 120July 25, 2013 2:59 AM

v

by Anonymousreply 121January 23, 2014 2:57 AM

OP - you realize you are a sad sad little loser, don't you?

by Anonymousreply 122January 23, 2014 3:05 AM

I realize R122 is a mentally challenged cultural stereotype of the brainless sheep.

by Anonymousreply 123January 23, 2014 5:31 AM

Wow

by Anonymousreply 124January 25, 2014 1:46 PM

When their fist hits your chin, OP.

by Anonymousreply 125January 25, 2014 1:54 PM

r110 You are pathetic.

by Anonymousreply 126January 25, 2014 3:28 PM

d

by Anonymousreply 127August 2, 2014 3:41 AM

My clueless but goodlooking husband has no gaydar or sense about any predators, and he will smile and talk to whoever looks at him, male or female. This often leads to some very bad outcomes.

by Anonymousreply 128August 2, 2014 8:04 AM

It has happened that a few times in a gym locker room I have found myself staring at a very good looking straight guy. I honestly don't realize it as they are so mesmerizing. But they seem to know it before I do and when they give me a look of anger and disgust I am mortified.

by Anonymousreply 129August 2, 2014 9:40 AM

Staring is creepy

by Anonymousreply 130August 2, 2014 11:40 AM

It's sad for the woman.

It just happened to me earlier.

A man was out with his wife and he was suddenly checking me out...I looked back and there was his wife looking all worried. I think they go into denial.

Sometimes the wives look all angry with me. I want to say "HE's the one checking ME out, dear".

But I don't, because I'm a gentleman.

by Anonymousreply 131August 2, 2014 11:49 AM

You deserve to have your head bashed in OP.

by Anonymousreply 132August 2, 2014 1:04 PM

Staring is only creepy when it is by someone you have no interest in.

Otherwise it is flattering.

by Anonymousreply 133August 2, 2014 2:01 PM

[quote]Sometimes the wives look all angry with me. I want to say "HE's the one checking ME out, dear".

I get that all the time. Young married guys today, seem to be open to checking out other guys in the mall, but the wives get very uptight about it.

by Anonymousreply 134August 2, 2014 5:38 PM

What I don't get is gay guys, usually older but not always, checking my husband out when I am there, in a very open, suggestive way. He's good-looking, but basically looks like what he is - a straight, middle aged married man who is out with his wife. He is not bi-curious. What do they expect? It's just rude and disrespectful. I always give them a filthy look in return.

by Anonymousreply 135August 2, 2014 7:42 PM

I love the pov that we should stare at straight guys, cruise and ogle them because that's what they do to women.

You know that about this particular individual, right? But if he dares to stereotype YOU, watch out.

by Anonymousreply 136August 2, 2014 8:07 PM

I stare at cute guys all the time but when I am the one being stared at I get severe anxiety attacks. I look at the floor and leave the place rapidly, no matter how good looking the guy is.

by Anonymousreply 137August 2, 2014 8:46 PM

[quote]What I don't get is gay guys, usually older but not always, checking my husband out when I am there, in a very open, suggestive way.

Maybe they recognize him from his visits to Home Depot.

by Anonymousreply 138August 2, 2014 9:18 PM

I've had a married man rubbing my leg with his foot under the table in a station cafe with his wife and kids sitting there.

It was in Marseilles so I guess it's understandable.

On top of that, he was gorgeous. I'll never forget it.

by Anonymousreply 139August 2, 2014 11:18 PM

My cousin put himself through grad school waiting tables at a restaurant in the neighborhood with a lot of cultural venues. He wore pants that were very snug and shirts that were a size too small ,,, in addition to his wedding ring. He said that he would flirt with the gay guys who would come into the restaurant. He said that opera queens are the best tippers.

A married friend works high-end retail and gets cruised a lot. At first he was shocked by the attention from gay men, now he is used to it.

Another married friend had some fashion modeling when he was younger. He still get cruised. He said that he is flattered when he gets cruised.

Alas and alack, no one seems to want to cruse me,

by Anonymousreply 140August 3, 2014 3:00 AM

I've had wives sneer at me when I've been caught checking out their husbands/boyfriends.

by Anonymousreply 141August 3, 2014 3:11 AM

Maybe they're worried that their husbands will enjoy being checked out.

by Anonymousreply 142August 4, 2014 3:11 PM

I don't check out people with spouses or significant others. That is disrespectful.

by Anonymousreply 143August 17, 2014 1:09 AM

Don't you even wink, R143, when you realize you know him from the booth at the ABS?

by Anonymousreply 144August 19, 2014 12:36 AM

hot

by Anonymousreply 145November 30, 2014 3:21 PM

Hot straigh-identified football player at gym and I have been eye flirting for weeks. We worked in together today.

by Anonymousreply 146January 10, 2015 6:22 PM

OP is ruining it for the gays. He's the reason people do the towel dance.

by Anonymousreply 147January 10, 2015 6:28 PM

[quote]But, would homophobic guys cruise guys at the gym?

Uhm ... you just accounted for about 80% of the free weights section.

by Anonymousreply 148January 10, 2015 7:33 PM

Exactly, R148. Can you explain what they're doing? They do weird footsie games, like they're laying a trap. What are they doing and why?

by Anonymousreply 149January 10, 2015 7:42 PM

I find it a good way to get them away from any weight equipment that they may be monopolizing.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 150January 11, 2015 2:54 AM

[quote]I don't know about adjusting packages but I speak about sexuality at college classes, as an out gay man, and there is always at least one straight guy sitting like this.

R65, do you think they're advertising?

by Anonymousreply 151March 11, 2020 4:19 AM

If I were r65 I think I would get more and more flamboyant and fruity. the more guys did that

by Anonymousreply 152March 31, 2020 3:02 AM

There’s one thing that straight guys hate worse than being cruised; not being cruised.

by Anonymousreply 153March 31, 2020 3:49 AM

Bump.

by Anonymousreply 154April 2, 2020 2:28 AM

Most straight guys don't realize they're being cruised unless you are REALLY obvious about it.

by Anonymousreply 155April 2, 2020 2:40 AM
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