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Gay men on the verge of a hoarding meltdown.

So my partner and I went to his family Thanksgiving this year, and we're back home now.

We're pretty much minimalists - we don't like a lot of stuff. Our house is modern and spare, and we like it that way. Clean, clean, clean, with room to think and room to move.

His gay brother and brother's partner, however, are the opposite, as are his parents, who live in the same large house.

The place is done up in what I like to call "High Gay" - oriental rugs, jewel toned colors, faux-painted EVERYTHING, dark "dramatic" color treatments on the walls, and lots of sparkly baubles everywhere. Fringe, too. Lots of gold fringe. Imagine gay style circa 1992.

Every surface has a tchotchke - lots of mediocre "art glass" and "antiques" - old tarnished silver picture frames everywhere - I swear to God the only thing missing is a few dozen lace doilies. They live like impoverished Victorian ladies. Except they aren't impoverished.

And everything - and I mean everything - is blanketed with a light snow of cat and dog hair - even the kitchen counters.

Even the drawers and closets are crammed full of stuff - literally you open a door and things fall out. A random kitchen drawer might contain the following:

Some hotpads A few old greeting cards A screwdriver or two Dried bits of food Cat hair A wooden spoon An ancient pack of gum A beanie baby Et cetera, et cetera.

We stayed there for 3 nights and by the time we left this morning, I was about to come out of my skin. I had to resist the urge to light the place on fire and blame it on a dusty paper mache Thanksgiving accessory placed too close to the kitchen stove.

And to top the whole thing off, they think their house is GORGEOUS.

I want to remove their gold-leafed blinders and hand them a scrub brush.

by Anonymousreply 4711/19/2012

Since you're rich, give them a cleaning lady who steals shit for Christmas. One Aldi bag a week and they'll be clean by next year!

by Anonymousreply 111/27/2010


Time for some some nighty night.

(or start a blog).


by Anonymousreply 211/27/2010

I'm sorry, you were saying..?

by Anonymousreply 311/27/2010

Do they collect antique wedding gowns?

by Anonymousreply 411/27/2010

it's their house not yours so what the fuck do you care? is it just because they're gay, and in your mind that requires you to compare yourselves favorably to them to make you feel better about yourself?

its only human to titter gently at the bad taste of others, but to get all worked up about it is reaaaaaally annoying. Especially when I suspect your taste isn't particularly sophisticated either, but rather just another unimaginative facet of bougie.

by Anonymousreply 511/27/2010

Mind. Your. Own. Business.

by Anonymousreply 611/27/2010

You didn't take pictures?

by Anonymousreply 711/27/2010

Room to think? You'd never guess that from this post.

by Anonymousreply 811/27/2010

Op--next time stay in a hotel.

by Anonymousreply 911/27/2010

OP sounds like an insufferable snob. The fact that the decorating scheme in his in-laws' home bothers him so much only proves how empty his own life is.

by Anonymousreply 1011/27/2010

No, people, the house is the gay brother's and his partner's - the in-laws live with them.

That's the point. Gay guys with dog/cat hair all over the place and so much clutter you couldn't possibly keep it clean. Bits of food in the drawers and hair all balled up in the corners.

Yeah, I'm a snob. A cleaning snob.

by Anonymousreply 1111/27/2010

OP, would probably hate our house. I am a collector and a reader. However, I understand what he is saying to a point. I just do not understand Gay men who seem to embrace Early "Norman is that You" bad taste when they are very well off and can afford better. There is no excuse for gaudy synthetic window treatments with cheap fringe that remind one of a Ben Cooper Halloween costume from 1962.

Having a collection is one thing, (I don't care if you collect Hummels if you can converse knowledgeably about "Full Bee", "Missing Bee", etc); however, just acquiring stuff for the sake of acquiring stuff is just plain stupid. These Gays have no sense of design, history, or art. They aren't even snobbish enough to buy stuff to brag how expensive it is. They just acquire useless junk because it is there.

Finally, whether your taste is minimalist or high Victoria, for heavens sake keep it clean. Bad housekeeping is as bad as bad hygiene.

by Anonymousreply 1211/27/2010

If you don't like it OP...feel free to clean the house or go elsewhere. At least that's what I tell my mother-in-law when she makes snide comments.

by Anonymousreply 1311/27/2010

op / r11 - Although I'm not quite sure if the parents are your partner or his partner's parents. Just be glad thosee inlaws don't live with you!

by Anonymousreply 1411/27/2010

Just FYI... gold fringe was never in.

by Anonymousreply 1511/27/2010

I know some gays like this. On their bed are at least 20 Versace pillows. Fake Tiffany lamps abound. The worst are the walls teeming with Patrick Nagel prints from the 80's...the couple's hey-day.

by Anonymousreply 1611/27/2010

Dear OP:

So fucking what?

Go back to what you mistake for your life and leave us alone.

by Anonymousreply 1711/27/2010

I'd shoot myself in the face if everyone had the same sense of style and taste. What the fuck do you care, OP? What can you possibly use to feel superior to them if it's not for their home?

by Anonymousreply 1811/27/2010

r16 - Nail on Head.

Their bed has (I kid you not) probably 10 fake Versace pillows and on either side are two fake Tiffany lamps! (covered in dust)

I'm not kidding!

by Anonymousreply 1911/27/2010

OP, don't listen to the haters. You know there is a double standard around here. If you had made this post about your overweight, mid-western, cube-frau sister-in-law your post would be a hit.

by Anonymousreply 2011/27/2010

You should put them in touch with Sir Patrick, they can rotate their collections with him.

by Anonymousreply 2111/27/2010

I wouldn't start worrying until they find the first crushed, mummified body of a trick under piles of old back issues of After Dark.

by Anonymousreply 2211/27/2010

I could care less about the decor. But the cleanliness? Ugh. I'm outta there. That's not being a snob, that's being sensible. I would politely invent an allergy to all the cat dander and book into the nearest hotel.

Problem solved. Holiday saved.

by Anonymousreply 2311/27/2010

Lol. The Dorian Corey Syndrome, R22?

by Anonymousreply 2411/27/2010

I think stark minimalism is as bad as what you describe, OP.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 2511/27/2010

OP's house.

by Anonymousreply 2611/27/2010

OP, admit it, you looked up how to spell tchotchke before you posted.

by Anonymousreply 2711/27/2010

Recently, as if by fate, an advance copy of a book arrived in the mail that is without doubt the most helpful tome for anyone with a cluttering tendency. It’s called “The Hoarder in You: How to Live a Happier, Healthier, Uncluttered Life” (published Tuesday by Rodale Books). It was written by Robin Zasio, a clinical psychologist, a star of the show “Hoarders” and director of the Anxiety Treatment Center in Sacramento.

I would say that Dr. Zasio’s book is about the best self-help work I’ve read in my 46 years as a health and science writer. She seems to know all the excuses and impediments to coping effectively with a cluttering problem, and she offers practical, clinically proven antidotes to them.

by Anonymousreply 2811/19/2012

Sorry to bump an old thread but searching took me here.

Can anyone recommend a good home organizer person in NYC? Who can help me get rid of shit? I have all these old clothes I never wear.

by Anonymousreply 2911/19/2012

Just to confirm OP

Your partner and his brother are both gay?

Are they close and do they get along?

by Anonymousreply 3011/19/2012

What do you guys do if your weight fluctuates?

I have been everywhere from 175 to 240 lbs as an adult. Currently 209. Should I keep fat clothes / thin clothes?

by Anonymousreply 3111/19/2012

Countess Helen to the rescue!

by Anonymousreply 3211/19/2012

This thread is from two years ago!

by Anonymousreply 3311/19/2012

R30, I'm sure OP will get back to you ASAP.

by Anonymousreply 3411/19/2012

After two years, not holding my breath

by Anonymousreply 3511/19/2012

Is it like this house?

by Anonymousreply 3611/19/2012

If only threads went further back than 2010...

It looks like the webbies have been bumping 2010 threads since Fri. I've been home all weekend recovering from strep and all I've done is doze, read and surf the internet. It seems like more of them keep getting revived like clockwork all weekend. Why something as weird as this...

by Anonymousreply 3711/19/2012

Maybe the "truth" lies somewhere between stark minimalism and Victorian bric-a-brac gone awry. I don't care to live in a sterile "operating room" atmosphere complete with spotlights in/on the ceiling (which I thoroughly detest) nor would I care to live in a place that resembled an antique store that took hours to dust and vacuum. I will agree with you OP that clean is good and less might be more but not so less that you live like a monk.

by Anonymousreply 3811/19/2012

Cat hair is such a beast to get rid of. You don't even need to have a long hair. I have a short hair tabby, and dear god its everywhere.

But I'm low on tchochkes...the ones I do have are in a cabinet.

by Anonymousreply 3911/19/2012

This thread is so typical DL.

The Op writes a very funny post and then, because he's exposed himself a little, a truck load of not very bright, bitchy queens arrive, one by one, to insult him.

by Anonymousreply 4011/19/2012

How bad could it be? I did not see a mention of any objects d'art by "Thomas Kinkade, painter of light."

by Anonymousreply 4111/19/2012

Yes, r36, it isn't unlike the house you linked to in Dallas. In fact, it is remarkably similar in "style".

(yes, I saw this thread two years later - and yes it is the same OP, who just happens to be visiting the same household in 48 hours' time. UGH.)

by Anonymousreply 4211/19/2012

They sound capable of choosing how they live. Mind your own business.

by Anonymousreply 4311/19/2012

This sounds like my late mother's big, Victorian house which she filled with flea market kitsch and CATS. She was a spotless housekeeper, however, so at least it was clean, despite the cats.

OP needs to have an enema then smoke a big bowl, enjoy the freaky house and his partner's family. It's only for a few days. Stay in a sterile hotel room at night like my partner and I used to do.

Problem solved.

by Anonymousreply 4411/19/2012

"I'm a collector" = OCD with a price tag.

"It looks like the webbies have been bumping 2010 threads since Fri. ... It seems like more of them keep getting revived like clockwork all weekend."

That's because the webmaster is a thread hoarder.

That, and the fact that NO ONE INTERESTING has been posting here for months; just tired old queens, snobby post-flood NYers and a constant ocean of paid shills, reichwing turd buckets, and menstruating fraus.

by Anonymousreply 4511/19/2012

r2, we're sure you meant to say "capito."

by Anonymousreply 4611/19/2012

R29, don't pay someone to help you get rid of things. There are online sites about cleaning and organizing and books at the library.

I've read more than once to use three boxes when sorting, one for things you will throw out, one for things to give away and one for things you want to keep. I add another for things I want to sell on eBay. They say if you haven't worn something in a year, get rid of it. You could make it two years and probably still get rid of quite a bit. I give anything in good condition to Goodwill. It seems if there's one thing you later regret getting rid of it tends to make you want to keep everything. Fight that. I use those clear plastic storage containers for things I just can't part with but don't really use and smaller ones or baskets to organize the office, kitchen and bathroom and I label them. Be sure to get the right size container for the space.

I think too much stuff contributes to my anxiety. I feel so much better when the house is organized and uncluttered.

by Anonymousreply 4711/19/2012
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