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Women Without Kids Up 80 Percent From 30 Years Ago

The number of American women without children has risen to an all-time high of 1 in 5, a jump since the 1970s when 1 in 10 women ended their childbearing years without having a baby, according to the Pew Research Center.

About 1.9 million women aged 40-44%E2%80%94or 18 percent%E2%80%94were childless in 2008, an 80 percent increase since 1976, when just 580,000%E2%80%9410 percent of those in that age bracket%E2%80%94had never given birth, the Census Bureau's Current Population Survey shows.

Childlessness has increased across racial and ethnic groups and most education levels, but has dropped among women with advanced degrees in the past decade, according to the research.

Part of the reason for the rise in the number of childless women is an overall pattern toward delaying marriage and having kids, the research showed. Experts say that a drop in societal pressure to be a parent is also responsible for the trend, along with an increase in career opportunities and an improvement in birth control options and effectiveness.

"People put off getting pregnant," said women's health expert Dr. Laura Corio, a member of AOL Health's Medical Advisory Board. "Even when they're married they're putting off getting pregnant. Then they wake up one day and they're 40 and they want to have a child. It's like, hello?"

Explanations for the trend vary, but for some, the reason behind delaying parenting is a simple joie de vivre.

"They're freer. People are enjoying their lives: they're traveling, shopping, eating out," Corio told AOL Health. "Putting a baby into the situation is going to change everything."

Though the most educated women are still among those most likely to never give birth, there was a 31 percent decline in those aged 40-44 with master's, doctoral or professional degrees who had not had babies between 1994 and 2008, when 24 percent of women in that category were childless.

The data represents combined statistics from 2006 and 2008 (referred to as 2008 in the study) and from 1992 and 1994 (referred to as 1994).

White women remain the most likely not to have had a child, but the childless rates have grown more quickly for blacks, Hispanics and Asians over the past decade, according to the figures.

Never-married women still had the highest incidence of childlessness, though those rates also have declined over the past 10 years. By comparison, the childless rates have increased for those who are married or were at one time referred to as the "ever-marrieds."

"A lot of women can't find someone, or they're very picky or very educated," Corio said. "Contraception is also better. A lot of pregnancies in the past may have been accidents where they decided to keep the baby. It's also money - they think, we're not in the financial situation [to have children]."

Among the women aged 40 to 44 without children, the number of those who didn't want to have children equaled the number of those who did but weren't able to conceive, according to figures from the National Survey of Family Growth.

In 2003, about 6 percent of women in that age group were voluntarily childless, 6 percent were involuntarily childless and 2 percent didn't have children but wanted them in the future.

Along with the population changes have come shifts in attitude, with public opinion showing more acceptance of women without children, Pew Research reported. Most adults - 59 percent in 2002 - said they disagree with the statement that people who don't have kids "lead empty lives," compared to only 39 percent who didn't agree with the statement in 1988.

Similarly, a 2007 Pew survey showed that 41 percent of adults believe children are important for a successful marriage, down from 65 percent who expressed the same views in 1990.

About 46 percent of people said the trend has no bearing on society, according to a 2009 Pew survey, but 38 percent said it was bad for society -- up from 29 percent in 2007.

by Anonymousreply 9305/24/2013

I had one but I gave him up. Best decision of my life.

by Anonymousreply 111/16/2010

Good move. The planet is too fucking full up anyway.

by Anonymousreply 211/16/2010

I'm glad that more people are deciding not to have children.

by Anonymousreply 311/16/2010

[quote]women's health expert Dr. Laura Corio, a member of AOL Health's Medical Advisory Board

She might be very qualified for all I know, but telling me a doctor is a member of the AOL "advisory board" doesn't exactly instill me with confidence. Most of her comments are kind of bitchy, the stuff about picky women and putting off having kids.

by Anonymousreply 411/16/2010

Children are a threat to a couple's relationship. I'm glad more people are realizing it's not a good idea to have them.

by Anonymousreply 511/16/2010


by Anonymousreply 611/16/2010

So glad I didn't have kids. Small carbon footprint too! Bonus!

by Anonymousreply 711/16/2010

Childfree not Childless!

by Anonymousreply 811/16/2010

There are too many children. My neighbor recently got inseminated and had a baby on her own and now it screams all the time.

by Anonymousreply 911/16/2010

Why would anyone want to bring children into a world like this?

by Anonymousreply 1011/16/2010

We child-free women don't have to look far to feel extremely releived about our choice. We aren't missing the sicknesses, the screaming, having to leave work all the time, getting up at 5 a.m. daily for the forseeable future, and let's not get started on the dads. The majority of them who stick around expect the mom to do nearly all the housework, childcare and a job too. There are plenty of kids in my extended family who turned out great, so I am just saying, "No thanks". I can tell people still want to pity me, though.

by Anonymousreply 1111/16/2010

My daughter said she was thinking of adopting a child? I wanted to scream, NO! I didn't. Children are not my thing.

by Anonymousreply 1211/16/2010

Thank GOD.

I don't know if anyone has read Franzen's "Freedom" but one of the lead male characters advocates population control. I've been reading it as a DL manifesto.

by Anonymousreply 1311/16/2010

I just can't cope with all that responsibility.

by Anonymousreply 1411/16/2010

[quote]"A lot of women can't find someone, or they're very picky or very educated," Corio said. "Contraception is also better. A lot of pregnancies in the past may have been accidents where they decided to keep the baby. It's also money - they think, we're not in the financial situation [to have children]."

Blah. blah. blah. Here's the major reason: Women do not want to be mothers!!!!!!!!! Why the fuck would anyone sign up for that stinkin job?

by Anonymousreply 1511/16/2010

Thank God women are finally catching on to what gay men already can have sex and no kids ever.

by Anonymousreply 1611/16/2010

Our species is going to go extinct!

by Anonymousreply 1711/17/2010

No it won't r17. There are still enough stupid people having babies for the rest of us!

by Anonymousreply 1811/17/2010

The problem is that all the smart people have stopped having children or are having very few of them and the idiots are reproducing wildly so the species is becoming stupider and stupider.

by Anonymousreply 1911/17/2010

Soon the whole country is going to look like a Florida condo.

by Anonymousreply 2011/17/2010


by Anonymousreply 2111/17/2010

It's because women finally woke up to the scam that was being pulled over them by males through the use of that old biblical fairytale "be fruitful and multiply". Popping out a bunch of babies kept more women at home, in the kitchen, and constantly cleaning which is what most straight males wanted in a wife. Most straight males still do not want a woman who can think and act independently because it scares them. They want to feel needed and relied upon by their wives. This is why most women up until the late 80's (and there's still some left) had no idea about their household finances or what their husband's salary was. They were doled out a "house allowance" by the husbands and they didn't even have access to the bank accounts.

Keep 'em naked, barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen, that was the theme of the day in the straight world for many decades.

by Anonymousreply 2211/17/2010

r19, your theory isn't new. The dummies get killed off at a faster rate, sometimes even before reproducing, so it balances the score the way that nature will - brutally.

by Anonymousreply 2311/17/2010

It's true, the stupid, will continue to have one baby after another but an intelligent one will pop out every now and then. Were Einstein's parents smarter than most people?

by Anonymousreply 2411/17/2010

I am one of them, i am 19 and have already made my mind up never to have one.

by Anonymousreply 2511/17/2010

The birth rate is declining because Communists like Obama are saddling future generations with huge tax burdens. Who wants to bring a child into the world like that?

by Anonymousreply 2611/17/2010

There is one problem - uneducated and ignorant people are having children so average tolerance, intelligence and education level will drop.

by Anonymousreply 2711/17/2010

"About 1.9 million women aged 40-44 or 18 percent were childless in 2008"%0D %0D %0D %0D %0D Women can have kids when they are over 44. Some of those women may wind up having kids. %0D %0D %0D "The problem is that all the smart people have stopped having children"%0D %0D %0D Um, no. The vast majority of women have kids, whether they are smart or dumb. The ones who don't have kids are still a minority. I guess you could argue that smart women have FEWER kids, but that isn't the same thing as having no kids at all.%0D %0D %0D "Women do not want to be mothers!!!!!!!!!"%0D %0D %0D Statistics say otherwise.

by Anonymousreply 2811/17/2010

Your daddy should have wore a rubber..all of you clowns

by Anonymousreply 2910/03/2012

This is good news. It used to be drummed into women that not having children was a tragedy. I'm glad more women are wising up the fact that more often than not having children is a big mistake.

by Anonymousreply 3010/03/2012

"Women can have kids when they are over 44. Some of those women may wind up having kids."

Any woman who wants to get pregant at that age has got something wrong with her. Middle-aged and pregnant: not a good combination. But I guess there are women out there who are so selfish that they bring a child into the world without thinking about how their advanced age is going to affect the child.

by Anonymousreply 3110/03/2012

I know that in my life if I make a mistake I can only blame myself and not a child, that's a big relief.

Resources are hard to come by, nobody's talking about children guaranteed to live in poverty or be homeless.

by Anonymousreply 3210/03/2012

Men suck. All of them

by Anonymousreply 3310/03/2012

1. Men are childish and don't want any responsibility. They don't want to marry the mother of their children, and they don't want to support children they had with a woman they broke up with. Since most unmarried couples eventually break up, women don't want to have kids with some guy who's going to take off and leave them with every bill, every responsiblity, and every waking hour taken up by paying for/caring for kids, while Daddy walks scot free and makes a new family with a younger woman replacement. Courts often don't make sure child support is paid, unless you have enough money to keep going back and back and back and... Life is too short to have all of the work and none of the fun.

2. People's jobs are unstable. Even if you have a good job today, tomorrow you could lose it and your next job could be at McDonald's regardless of your education. Then you're trying to pay off a gigantic college loan, raise a kid, and save for your retirement all at once? Impossible.

3. The guys that are willing to stick by the woman for the whole 18 years are religious control freaks that want them barefoot and pregnant. Not worth it.

4. A lot of guys these days are so childish it's like having another kid. They don't do housework or childcare, and half the time they either don't have a job or are stingy as hell about the money they do have. It's "my money" and the woman's money is supposed to go into the community pot. Where's her retirement supposed to come from?

The alternative is having a kid by adoption or IVF, and raising it alone. It's lonely and scary to know you have no back up.

Women don't get paid as much as men. If the relationship goes sour, they're going to be poor forever. Who wants that? And no low cost childcare for working women. If you take time off to take care of your kid, the boss resents you and thinks you're a slacker. So sick kids get parked in crappy childcare centers or left at school sick, like trash nobody wants.

Society doesn't support child raising, period. Then people wonder why people don't want their lives ruined by having kids with no support from anyone. When society makes having kids so difficult, nobody will have any.

by Anonymousreply 3410/03/2012

[quote]Women Without Kids Up 80 Percent From 30 Years Ago

Good. Why anyone would ever choose to have a brat is beyond me.

by Anonymousreply 3510/03/2012

A few years ago, my 30 year old niece told me that she admired me for not having children. She also wished she didn't have to one she already had. Sad to say, 5 years later she decided to have another one. Go figure!

I have never regretted not having kids. I'm i my late 50s and have a nice nest egg and already retired. Had I had childen, I would have zero savings and been working into my 70s.

by Anonymousreply 3610/03/2012

Several years ago, I spent some time babysitting two little girls who lived near me. Bear in mind that these girls (half-sisters ages 6 and 8) were Native, and were raised in the stereotypical scummy Aboriginal culture where girls breed early and often, usually with different babydaddies.

After about an hour in my house, they asked me where my kids were.

I told them I didn't have any.

They asked if my kids had been taken away by Child and Family Services (another frequent component of the scummy Aboriginal lifestyle).

I told them that no, I didn't have any children by choice, and didn't intend to ever have any.

Both girls were absolute shocked to hear this. It was clear that they'd never been exposed to any woman who chose not to have children.

Damn, it's been almost a decade since I knew those girls. I wonder how many babies each has had by now.

by Anonymousreply 3710/03/2012

Children would only get in the way of our erotic lifestyle.

by Anonymousreply 3810/03/2012

[quote]She also wished she didn't have [the] one she already had. Sad to say, 5 years later she decided to have another one. Go figure!

Well, really, once you've already got one kid, you may as well have more.

And kids can be a lot of fun, and they're often sweet and loving and cuddly.

by Anonymousreply 3910/03/2012

Spitting out brats doesn't define you. More women realize than can be productive members of society without having kids. Tell that to the emerging fraufag population that craves conformity.

by Anonymousreply 4010/03/2012

My friends and family with kids used to pity me for not having any. What a shame, all that I was missing.

I didn't miss anything - I have all of their kids in my life, which has been great. I love kids. Just not all the time.

Now that many of those friends' and families' kids are horrible teenagers who hate everything or spoiled 20-somethings who never call or visit unless they need something, I've noticed that the looks of pity have changed to looks of envy.

And I will always be the fun, cool gay uncle to their kids.

Win-win for me.

by Anonymousreply 4110/03/2012

If any woman 44 or older is having kids, she's using someone else's eggs. Extemely rare to be able to get pregnant on your own at that point. Fertility drops off rapidly after 40

by Anonymousreply 4210/03/2012

Modern motherhood is just a bad deal. Most of the time it means working full-time as well as doing all the housework and child care, and having a husband who's resentful that his wife doesn't do more to please him. If the husband leaves, it's a near-perfect guarantee of lifetime financial troubles.

The fact that most women intentionally have children, in spite of the reality, is proof of how strong our instincts really are.

by Anonymousreply 4310/03/2012

If anyone has a first kid at 44 they need to have their heads examined. I decided not to get a puppy because it would be too disruptive to my life. Imagine how needy and demanding a baby human would be. No thanks.

by Anonymousreply 4410/03/2012

Friend of mine had a baby at age 43 with no problems. I think she's crazy, but it's not my life.

I have never had the "instinct" for a child. In fact, it's completely foreign to me when people talk like this is something natural to want. I think kids are sometimes cute, but they are mostly annoying and dirty and just plain gross.

And yes, I'm a woman and I have never, ever wanted one.

by Anonymousreply 4510/03/2012

Men are far FAR more likely to bring children into the world at advanced ages, even though it's usually women who are criticized for it.

by Anonymousreply 4610/03/2012

My sister is 44 and is on the fence about having children. She has an MBA degree and is beautiful. She got all of the good genes, she is genetic perfection. She has 3 dogs she treats like gold so there is no chance she wouldn't be a good mother. Her problem is the men she chooses. Her latest relationship is with a wonderful man but he has Aspbergers and some relatives with Autism. In essence she chose him over becoming a mother because she would not risk having a child with his family history. She is very picky about her future children's genes. She says that good genes are the best gift you can bestow on a child. She also has the attitude that this world is not GOOD ENOUGH for her kids. I think she thinks too much about it but her overall attitude is refreshing. She's like a reverse narcissist.

by Anonymousreply 4710/03/2012

Please die in a grease fire, R36. You sound like a racist, judgemental cunt so it won't be a loss to anybody.

by Anonymousreply 4810/03/2012

"Modern motherhood is just a bad deal. Most of the time it means working full-time as well as doing all the housework and child care, and having a husband who's resentful that his wife doesn't do more to please him. If the husband leaves, it's a near-perfect guarantee of lifetime financial troubles."

Bottom line: if you're married and your husband dumps you, you have no back up. If you're partnered and your partner dumps you, you have no back up. If you're single and have a kid on your own, you have no back up. If you're a woman, you make less money than a man, so if you have no back up, most women can't afford kids on their own.

If society as a whole decided raising children was going to be an important activity, society would be built around the idea of providing back up - job retraining for moms out of the job market raising children for years, paid maternity and paternity leave, free or low cost childcare, college free or low cost. Any time anybody brings up anything like these issues, they are immediately accused of being a socialist.

And the resentful husband is definitely an issue. Men are so infantilized, they don't understand they're supposed act like a Daddy, not one of Mommy's kids. How many times have you heard some cheating guy complain "The wife doesn't pay me any attention since the kids were born, I'll show her"? Uh, that's because young children need attention 24/7. What was she supposed to do, throw them out a window when you want to fuck or get a good's night sleep?

Then there's the "you're an ugly old hag since the kids were born, I need a young sexy woman" thing. Childbearing is hell on a woman's body, it's never the same again. And since guys are not hanging around too long anymore, a woman needs to look good to find another one, once the current one bails for a 20 year old. Sagging tits, stretch marks and a couple of sombody else's brats that hate all newcomers don't help.

by Anonymousreply 4910/03/2012

R48 = typical dumb over-sensitive Aboriginal whore.

First of all, you stunned cunt, I wasn't criticizing ALL natives, just the ones who are scummy and live on welfare and breed like rabbits just for the child tax benefit. Pretending these types don't exist is the worst kind of racism.

Secondly, I'm R37, not R36. If you hadn't dropped out of school in sixth grade when pregnant with your second baby, you'd be better able to read.

by Anonymousreply 5010/03/2012

R49, you genius, you. Very astute response.

R50, lots of people ride the system and keep having kids. Every race and creed takes part. You're confusing socioeconomic status with race. A common misconception. Don't you fall into this trap.

by Anonymousreply 5110/03/2012

Excellent news -- and I know so many women who resisted. For once, I am truly empathetic, the pressure they are put under to breed, the signals that they are incomplete without that. Glad so many are doing what they want and not caving. And I say that without an ounce of sarcasm.

"Idiocracy" remains a problem but I hope these stats keep going up and for men too... I can't believe how many poor ones I meet with offspring scattered all over the planet and how proud they are to be "the man". THE core of the world's problems, if you ask me -- kids popped out and then forgotten, resented, ignored.

by Anonymousreply 5210/03/2012

So basically we only have stupid people reproducing right now.

That will bode well for the future.

Glad I'm almost dead.

by Anonymousreply 5310/03/2012

Where I live there are a ton of children living in hotels, motels and homeless shelters. Sometimes these children go to school, but mostly not. These kids have gotten used to a life of packing their things on a moments notice and moving when the money runs out or something else horrible happens.

What kind of adults are these children going to be when they grow up? They have been raised in complete and total chaos and they have no fucking clue as to what stability looks like.

Then I see these dumb ass mothers that look about 16 - 24 pushing their baby buggies onto the bus with no father around. There's no money for food and/or diapers, their children smell like shit (literally) but this dumb bitch somehow has the resources for the latest smartphone, which she is currently using - as she ignores her kid.

I swear if these kids don't learn to pick the damn bottle up and feed themselves, they're going to starve, because these mothers just don't give a shit.

No fathers, no resources, no common sense. Why are the older women not talking to these girls and giving them the facts of life? They need to be told, as we were, that these men don't give a shit about them once they get what they want. If they have a kid they are totally on their own.

When I say these things I am speaking of both white and minorities as I live in an area that has plenty of both.

by Anonymousreply 5410/03/2012

It's just like Idiocracy.

Btw, what the fuck is up with all the old men becoming fathers? Research has shown that old man sperm is responsible for many birth defects.

by Anonymousreply 5510/03/2012

I'm a doctor. With no kids. And I know a racist when I see one. But I'm sure once you move out of your mom's basement and get a job,you'll become a bit more tolerant and accepting of difference.

by Anonymousreply 5610/04/2012

"Society doesn't support child raising, period. "

This is the essence of the trend.

by Anonymousreply 5710/04/2012

r47, your sister sounds wonderful. They/she should look into adoption-- these kids kids need all the stability they can get.

by Anonymousreply 5810/04/2012

[r58], it just isn't worrying about him passing on the spectrum gene or she would seek out a sperm donor. It is his inability to connect and have empathy. She would be responsible for everything. She says sometimes she feels like his Aspergers makes her feel like she went out and adopted a special needs child. He gets easily flustered by a dog. God help her.

by Anonymousreply 5910/04/2012

During a lot of my child bearing years, I was with an alcoholic. Alcoholism was part of his family's history. Kids were out of the question. I'm not sacrificing my life to raise a bunch of kids all alone so they can grow up to be drunks. I have heard of women going ahead and having the kids with some loser, then dumping the guy afterward because they want the kids. No thanks.

I wonder how many women reallize the guy they're with is not Daddy material, or they can't find one that is. It's harder to finance raising kids alone than it's been for decades. Years ago, welfare picked up the difference, and jobs were easier to get. Not anymore.

by Anonymousreply 6010/04/2012

In line with r60, I can't believe how many - I'm just going to go ahead and say it - totally trashy people keep popping out kids. I live near a low-income/Section 8 neighbohood and you see these young white trash women with 3 or 4 kids, and they don't have a pot to piss in. Why would you want to burden yourself with kids when you have NO money? I'll never understand it.

by Anonymousreply 6110/04/2012

R[37]Damn, it's been almost a decade since I knew those girls. I wonder how many babies each has had by now

Maybe your life choice made an impact on them or one of them and they didn't have children or overbreed???

I'm 48 single spinster. Didn't want kids when I was young because I wanted to live my life, earn and save money, and find the right guy. For some reason I'll never figure out, no man wanted me and so I had no husband (wasn't gonna have a child by myself) to breed with. The guys who did want to marry me, I wouldn't even think if bearing their children.

Now,I'm a bit regretful. My friends have grandchildren now and I have nothing. To top it off, I denied my parents their grandchild. So it's not that women are choosing not to have children, it just didn't wasn't in the cards for some of us.

Then again, I'm selfish and I hate to take care of sick people and kids get sick alot.

by Anonymousreply 6210/04/2012

My step sister has a 17 year old who she let move in with her boyfriend because she threatened to run away if she didn't.

Cut to 6 months later and the 17 year old is preggers. She wants to keep the baby even though she's still in high school and has no plans to go to college. She actually said she thought having a baby was going to be just like having a puppy. My step mom was SO excited for her new grandchild. The baby arrived and the 17 year old fell into a deep depression when she realized it wasn't "just like a puppy." But every single person in that step family thinks it's so wonderful to have a new addition.

I don't understand the Republicans bitching about abortions. I know way too many kids having kids who probably should have had one but opted not to. It's sad that so many dumb girls think having a baby will give their lives meaning. I guess I understand it on some level because if you have nothing else in your life to reach for, popping a creature out of your vagina that is totally dependent on you makes you feel important.

by Anonymousreply 6310/04/2012

Describe, the boyfriend, R63.

by Anonymousreply 6410/04/2012

Never met him, r64.

by Anonymousreply 6510/04/2012

I see, thanks R65. Do you know what he was supposed to look like?

by Anonymousreply 6610/04/2012

No shock at all that this thread has brought all of our resident misogynists and child-haters out of the woodwork. R28 is one of the few sane people on here.

That said, I think it's great that there's no longer such a "stigma" towards women who don't have children, and I have a number of female friends who've decided they have zero interest in having kids. I still remember my mom telling me how "weird" she thought one of her friends from back in the '60s was for not wanting children (I won't name names, but she's married to a Pulitzer-winning fiction writer and is an ardent feminist - my mom doesn't know it, but she and the hubby also have an open relationship even well into their 60s). Such a viewpoint would seem utterly ridiculous today.

Btw as for the question of why so many young and poor people have kids is generally a combination of a) they live in red states where they don't learn even the most rudimentary basics of birth control, like how to put on a condom and the fact that "pulling out" doesn't work; b) girls do it because they think, almost always falsely, that it'll help them "keep their man," which is the main reason why it's so commonplace among poor urban black women in particular to have so many children with so many different fathers; c) girls think, like one poster mentioned, that having a kid is akin to having a puppy, when the reality is far from the truth; and d) even if they're on the Pill, they're too stupid, forgetful or irresponsible to remember to take it daily, so they get knocked up and decide to have it. None of this is changing anytime soon btw, at least in America, or at least as long as a majority of American states are Republican-dominated.

by Anonymousreply 6710/04/2012

[r67] Your b) example is contradictory. Resubmit, please.

by Anonymousreply 6810/07/2012

Who gives a shit. Jeez.

by Anonymousreply 6910/07/2012

Reading your selfish statements I wish your mothers had your attitudes and then you wouldn't exist would you... I call you selfish bitches because you take the gift of life but won't give it... Why get married???

by Anonymousreply 7005/23/2013

How does that work, Fred? Because you're a man and can't birth children, you like name-calling those who choose not to?


by Anonymousreply 7105/23/2013

what the hell is wrong with you people you were once children too you have no right to say things like this. Like children dont belong to this world you were once children too yet you have the stupidity to say why there are born you people are sick and need help!

by Anonymousreply 7205/24/2013

"Why get married???" Nuckfuggets like Freeper Fred conveniently forget that it helps immeasurably to have a partner with money, time, and desire to help take care of kids.

Until quite recently, lest we forget, Freepers like Fred criticized and stigmatized women for having kids out of wedlock. Now they turn around and call women selfish who don't want to raise kids more or less alone in some sort of pathetic Bristol Palin scenario.


by Anonymousreply 7305/24/2013

Children would only get in the way of our erotic lifestyle.

by Anonymousreply 7405/24/2013

This doesn't surprise me.

Motherhood sucks!

by Anonymousreply 7505/24/2013

Unfortunately, R54, sometimes the younger women don't want to hear the truth. They seem to have some kind of fantasy in their mind that having a baby will make whatever problem in their life better.

A 21 year-old co-worker is pregnant and I'm pretty sure the father won't be around. She still refers to him as her boyfriend although it's pretty clear he doesn't give a shit about her, especially after she got pregnant. She admitted that she wanted to have a baby and purposely messed with her birth control to do so. Some of my other co-workers and I try to tell her that the guy is no good and ask her if she even knows what she needs for her baby, but she seems totally clueless. I hope someone in her family can get through to her.

I'm a 28 year-old female and it's almost always other women who ask me why I don't have kids or when I'm going to have some.

I don't think I need a child to make my life worthwhile. I also have a personal and family history of mental illness, I can't really afford to fully support myself although I work full-time, and I'm not in serious relationship (if I were to have kids, I don't want to do it alone).

Next time someone asks me about kids, I'm going to ask if they're going to help raise them, haha.

by Anonymousreply 7605/24/2013

I have never had children and am beyond that now. I was never interested in having children, but I know people who are. They plan their families and like the family experience. I think it's good and I'm glad we've both been allowed to have our choices.

by Anonymousreply 7705/24/2013

I actually have worn a wedding ring for the past 10 years to work even though I'm not married. There is still a stigma for women to not be married (in red states).

So I lie during the week and live my life after hours.

When co-workers ask about kids (and they do) I just say that he's infertile. They shut right up.

by Anonymousreply 7805/24/2013

On page 1, several comments (from 2010!) say that stupid people are doing the breeding making for a stupider society.

Turns out they're right!

by Anonymousreply 7905/24/2013

I'd love to have kids of my own, but I know chances are good that I never will. I'm 35, and I probably won't find a guy who wants to have kids in the next couple of years. I wish I could afford to raise a child alone, but I can't. It's just too expensive. I tell myself that not having kids will bother me less and less as I get older, but I know deep down that it's a lie.

Having said that, r70, r72 et al. are the worst kind of shitstains. Who are you to judge someone else's reproductive choices? If people have enough intelligence to know that they would be lacking as parents, they should be applauded. If more people had that kind of foresight, there would be far fewer starving, homeless, or abused kids out there. There's no law that says someone has to want children, and I, for one, am glad societal pressure is lessening.

by Anonymousreply 8005/24/2013

[quote]Good move. The planet is too fucking full up anyway.

The U.S. is not anywhere near full.

People should be having at least 3 kids here.

This will not end well.

by Anonymousreply 8105/24/2013

Personally, I think people who have children are the selfish ones. Ask anyone why they had kids their answer almost always starts with, "I want".

I want someone to love unconditionally.

I want someone to love me unconditionally.

I want to continue my family's name.

I want a symbol of my love for my husband/wife.

I want to prove to myself/my friends/my family I can do it.

I want to be a better parent than my parents were.

I want a little version of me

by Anonymousreply 8205/24/2013

Multiple studies have shown has kids brought up in single mother homes serious emotional, educational, and drug problems. This is what selfish woman do to their children because they want to be "a mom.'

by Anonymousreply 8305/24/2013

R83, not to mention the damage done by missing fathers.

by Anonymousreply 8405/24/2013

Well, sometimes the absence of a father is better than the presence of a shitty one.

by Anonymousreply 8505/24/2013

I don't know why anyone would want kids. These women are SMART.

by Anonymousreply 8605/24/2013

Most of the western world, with a few exceptions, has a falling birth rate -- especially for educated people.

Thank you for blaming single mothers on the world's ills, R83/Miss Mitt Romney.

by Anonymousreply 8705/24/2013

Yeah, and now with gay marriage in 20 years there won't be no more children.

by Anonymousreply 8805/24/2013

Everyone on this thread must own or will own a cat. Am I right? But I guess to hell with it, the world is quickly becoming one big nursing home. I mean even the starving folks over there in Ethiopia or Somalia are still fucking and reproducing. You childless heifers need to pull your collective heads out of your asses. Didn't your grandPARENTS make it through THE GREAT DEPRESSION? It sounds as if someone people particularly those who are blessed with more(i.e. intelligence, money, etc.) don't want to even try. Sad.

by Anonymousreply 8905/24/2013

R89, BREED, troll, BREED! You first, dimwit.

by Anonymousreply 9005/24/2013

It IS too much responsibility and worry to have to deal with. My sister is now reliving her nightmare high school years through her kid. I knew that would happen and I never wanted to go through any of that again. I knew when I was a kid watching The Brady Bunch in the 1970's that I would NEVER want to be a mother. It's just not worth it.

by Anonymousreply 9105/24/2013

I'm guessing R89 regretted having children sometime with in the first year. Also, they must be old. The grandparents who lived through the depression remark is a dead give away.

by Anonymousreply 9205/24/2013

From Slate:

[quote]People without children have lives that are as legitimate and that they cherish as much as people who have children. This unwavering entitlement—I need time off; I have to have this holiday; I need to leave a half-hour before everyone else does, every day—kills office morale. (And obviously this doesn’t apply to emergencies.)

by Anonymousreply 9305/24/2013
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