Serving up this steaming pile of
Celebrity Gossip
Gay Politics
Gay News
and Pointless Bitchery
Since 1995

When is the last time you fell down?

I mean REALLY fell?

Me? Last week, Nordstrom's parking lot. Phone and keys went flying as my arms flailed trying to keep from hitting the asphalt. Despite my best efforts, down I went. Ripped a hole in the knee of my slacks too, dammit.

I'm sure it was hilarious to those who saw it, but my knee still hurts.

by Anonymousreply 9902/19/2013

Last week. I was playing with my friend's dog, tug of war, and she over powered me and yanked me out of my chair onto the ground.

by Anonymousreply 111/11/2010

To properly determine the hilarity, everyone please include your weight and waist size.

by Anonymousreply 211/11/2010

When I went ice skating with my little niece.%0D %0D Fell hard twice. 2nd time I popped the living shit out of my knee.%0D %0D The thing is.... When I was a kid, I don't remember it hurting when I fell on the ice.%0D %0D Now, it hurts like hell. However, since so many kids and teenagers were around, it was absolutely mandatory that I popped right up like I didn't feel a damn thing.

by Anonymousreply 311/11/2010

Haha!

by Anonymousreply 411/11/2010

[quote]Ripped a hole in the knee of my slacks%0D %0D Slacks? Grandpa is that you?

by Anonymousreply 511/11/2010

Yesterday. I was on my bicycle. Does that count?

by Anonymousreply 711/11/2010

Two years ago.

Drunk as a skunk, walking down a long flight of stairs to a basement bar. Totally tripped on the first stair and plummeted down the entire flight. Luckily because I was rip roarin' drunk my body was limber enough that I didn't sustain any injuries, just very sore the next day. Apparently I just stood up, looked around and started laughing, according to my friends who witnessed all of this in complete horror.

by Anonymousreply 811/11/2010

I haven't fallen for a while, but my mother fell 10 weeks ago and broke her hip. (R2, she weighed 87 pounds and had about a 24 inch waist). Five days later she had hip replacement surgery. Two weeks later she had a post-op infection from the OR, and over the next three weeks she had a series of four surgeries to try to stop it, then had cardiac and respiratory failure, and the breathing tube screwed up her ability to swallow. They inserted a GI feeding tube in another surgery, which she tore out. They announced they were sending her to the nursing home, and an hour later she was dead. My father had died four weeks before she did, in the middle of her trouble, but she was so out of it she never realized fully what had happened with him. I didn't see her fall, OP, but my brother said it was really funny when he found her on the floor in the middle of the night how she kept denying she was in pain because she knew once she left she'd never see her home again. Great idea for a thread! Thanks!

by Anonymousreply 1011/11/2010

ditz queens

by Anonymousreply 1111/11/2010

Last winter. I was running late for work, I got out of the cab, ran out and boom, I slipped on a slab of ice.%0D %0D I cried.

by Anonymousreply 1211/11/2010

A couple of weeks ago. Running downhill on a narrow path. I had to run around four fatties blocking my way and I tripped and went flying into a tree. Nothing was broken but my shoulder is still a bit sore. The scrapes and bruises have pretty much cleared up. I admit it - I'm clumsy.

by Anonymousreply 1311/11/2010

Truly falling as an adult sucks. I'm not talking about a fall where you can right or brace yourself or land as well as possible. I'm talking about the you are on the ground before you know it falls. Had one on the ice last winter. I ached for a long time. Falling is for kids with rubber for bones.

by Anonymousreply 1411/11/2010

r10 cries while watching slapstick.

by Anonymousreply 1511/11/2010

Maybe you should wear flats next time, OP.

by Anonymousreply 1611/11/2010

What is this "ice" of which you speak?

by Anonymousreply 1711/11/2010

This winter, stepping on a patch of leaves over a patch of slick silty mud. My legs slid out from under me and I landed on my tail bone, and bit through inside of my lip when I landed. Sat for a bit, and recalled how much less this used to hurt, then walked back home with my muddy sore bum.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 1811/11/2010

Retain an attorney immediately and pursue legal action against the parking lot company, Nordstroms, and anyone else you can think of.

by Anonymousreply 1911/11/2010

These are great - (aside from R10), now I don't feel so bad.

R5, for some reason I have always called work pants and dress pants "slacks". Casual pants are just pants. Guess I got that from my dad.

R14 - exactly.

by Anonymousreply 2011/11/2010

Today, chasing my 2 year old nephew around the National Zoo. Of course he laughed at seeing his 37 year old uncle flat on his ass.

by Anonymousreply 2111/11/2010

[quote] Retain an attorney immediately and pursue legal action against the parking lot company, Nordstroms, and anyone else you can think of.

I served papers on the tree but it has yet to respond.

by Anonymousreply 2211/11/2010

R20 is me, OP

by Anonymousreply 2311/11/2010

The last time I fell was twenty three years ago when I was eight months pregnant and big as Humpty Dumpty. Took a hell of a slide in the produce section of Stop and Shop and landed hard on my bum. Not a single soul offered a hand while I flailed around trying to catch my breath. Thankfully we both survived.

by Anonymousreply 2411/11/2010

I was running with the Nike running club, tripped and fell spectacularly forward. Fortunately the momentum of the fall forced me to do do a weird flipping roll and was back on my feet running, still abreast of the pack. If I hadn't rolled, the whole front of my body would have road rash. I couldn't duplicate that if I tried.

by Anonymousreply 2511/11/2010

Walking too fast in the early morning to class, and KA-KOOO! Slipped on some black ice and busted my ass.

by Anonymousreply 2611/11/2010

About two years ago walking around the block. I stepped on a small acorn...and I guess my ankle is so unstable I was flat on my face in a second or so.

My brother who is 49 yrs old fell off a roof last month. He was doing a roofing job at his home.

Mind you he is an attorney...don't ask....and fell off a steep roof in Berkeley onto one of the decks on his two story house.

He fractured his finger and hit his head.

He is quite a lucky son of gun.

by Anonymousreply 2711/11/2010

[quote]Nordstroms%0D %0D OH MY!

by Anonymousreply 2811/11/2010

R10, no one made you open this thread let alone post something.

You're not gonna get a lot of sympathy here.

by Anonymousreply 2911/11/2010

This thread is hilarious. An old friend of mine used to say that one of the funniest things a person could do was to fall down. I must admit, it is always funny. He was right.

by Anonymousreply 3011/11/2010

Last year, our first all-staff meeting at a new location after a tiring move across town. SOMEBODY left a piece of plastic on the floor, I was trying to scoot by a LARGE woman who was spilling over the edge of her aisle seat. I twisted sideways, hit the plastic with my left foot and BOOM, next thing I know I am down on the floor.

The CEO of the place came over and helped me up, which was humiliating in its own right. As soon as he could see I was fine, a colleague laughed really hard because he said I made a funny face.

Honestly, it was like some frames of film had been cut out, I had no sensation of falling, just having fell.

The large woman left the company three months later.

by Anonymousreply 3111/11/2010

Last week a store wearing new high-heeled boots. I stepped wrong and fell on all-fours in the middle of an aisle. My friend lost it and a guy came around the corner looked, asked if I was okay and started to laugh.

by Anonymousreply 3211/11/2010

It's so funny to see how many people trip and sometimes fall around Manhattan. I notice that everytime I am there I see SO many people trip, slip, tumble, and walk into things. Myself included. This should be a thread of it's own.

by Anonymousreply 3311/11/2010

About two years ago. In a parking lot on one of those low parking lot barriers. It's such a weird sensation, that split second of suspended in mid-air Matrix type of feeling. Then SPLAT!

by Anonymousreply 3411/11/2010

In LA eight years ago when I was there on business. I tripped over a yellow cement parking thing - right in front of an ambulance. The guys got out and asked if I was OK.%0D %0D I couldn't believe no one laughed (including my coworker). That made it more embarassing.

by Anonymousreply 3511/11/2010

While anchoring the evening news.

by Anonymousreply 3611/11/2010

It was the day after Christmas four years ago. I went outside for some reason and slipped on ice. My feet went flying up and my lower back hit the corner of the stairs, stunning me silly, then I slid down the rest of the stairs. I could have been killed! In shock, I crawled on my hands and knees back inside and made it to the couch. My back was cut open from the stairs. Thank God my mom was there with me. Then again, she bitched that I was no fun when I said that I didn't want to go shopping with her later that day. I couldn't walk! I work with a girl who, three months ago, broke both her wrists falling out of a tree. She was drunk and climbed the tree so her friend could take a picture. Then she fell out and landed on her wrists *SNAP!*. Get this, she's a hairdresser and had to do hair with a cast on each arm.

by Anonymousreply 3711/11/2010

fall a thon

by Anonymousreply 3811/11/2010

I stopped to admire and yak at my neighbor's enormous, ancient pet goose (I've written here before about its chatty nature) in the middle of a mountain bike ride last summer. I had just (mis)adjusted the bike seat...way too high! They are 7th. day Adventists and love to WITNESS! Imagine the panic as I spotted them rolling out the front door in their Hover-rounds. I quacked goodbye to my giant friend, and swung my arse up high, higher...slightly dizzy from the Lisinopril crap I take for high blood pressure. I misjudged and went off the back end of the seat, ass over teakettles as we say, hitting my helmeted head on their concrete driveway with a variety of contusions here and there. Ma and Pa Adventist rolled right over and prayed for me! Chatty the Goose: QUACK!!!!

by Anonymousreply 3911/11/2010

About two months ago, a friend of a friend was hunting from a tree and fell...and now he's quadriplegic!

by Anonymousreply 4011/11/2010

Speaking of falling:

by Anonymousreply 4111/11/2010

Fat people doing what they're best at:

by Anonymousreply 4211/11/2010

May 2010, St. Martin. on vacation in the caribbean, stumbling along the beach, walking on slippery walks and a wave comes in and i lose my balance. down i go onto my right knee. tore a big rip in my skin. my knee and my wrist STILL hurt, especially when it is cold or rainy. i'm only 41, but oh boy do i feel like an old fart.

by Anonymousreply 4311/11/2010

gertie, You were on the beach. What ripped your knee??? Just going down on it? Damn.

by Anonymousreply 4411/12/2010

Teusday, two days ago. I was walking through the neighborhood, it started raining... I still don't know what made me lose my balance.%0D %0D I landed flat on my left hip, on cement, with nothing to break the force of the fall. If I had weak bones, I'd be in the hospital with a broken hip right now. But since I have well-padded size 12 hips, I don't even have a bruise.

by Anonymousreply 4511/12/2010

oops, i meant walking on slippery ROCKS. hee!

i was on the beach on the rocks. that's what banged me up. i was a little drunk, maybe the sand could have taken me down too. har.

by Anonymousreply 4611/12/2010

I fell off of a ladder when I was cleaning the gutters and hit my head on a tree trunk.

by Anonymousreply 4711/12/2010

I don't know what happened, but I stumbled backward, lost my balance and landed ass-first in the cat's bed. Luckily the cat was elsewhere at the time.

by Anonymousreply 4811/12/2010

This thread had made me laugh harder than anything posted here in a long time. Thanks! %0D %0D Me: on holidays about 2 weeks ago, coming down the small stone stairs outside a store. I completely stepped down two stairs at once and inexplicably found myself on the sidewalk, on one knee, like I was proposing to someone. It must have looked hilariously stupid to passersby. I was mortified and started talking to myself in the shock 'how did THAT happen?' etc., while trying to pretend I hadn't just ripped all the skin of my palm when I landed.

by Anonymousreply 4911/12/2010

The only two times I've tripped in the last decade it just happened to be winter, icy, pitch black in the middle of a residential neighborhood and no one was anywhere around. Beautiful.

by Anonymousreply 5011/12/2010

r49, I honestly missed the word "laugh" the first time I read your post and for a few moments there, I thought you had a weird fetish.

by Anonymousreply 5111/12/2010

Poor baby...that sounds bad! Are you ok now?

by Anonymousreply 5211/12/2010

R51, that WOULD be a freaky fetish. I can just see someone ordering old slapstick movies surreptitiously online.

by Anonymousreply 5311/12/2010

Funny

by Anonymousreply 5411/12/2010

Owwww, owwww, oooh, ooooh! Owww, owwww, oooh, oooh! It hurts!

That was funny, R54. It makes me a bad person, but I laughed. Hard.

by Anonymousreply 5511/12/2010

Last week. I was on my back patio straightening up a wood pile. The wood is on some uneven pavers - I stepped wrong and went face down on the wood pile. I used to play hockey and still rollerblade. You kind of know when you're going down with those two activities. Didn't see this one coming at all. Drove myself to the emergency room and am now sporting eight stitches.

by Anonymousreply 5611/12/2010

Last weekend. I got out of bed to get a something to drink. When my feet hit the floor, they just kinda went out from under me and I landed flat on my ass. Made a ton of noise. I find it disturbing that my girlfriend didn't even stir in bed.

by Anonymousreply 5711/12/2010

About a onth and a half ago. I have a new addition to my house and sliders that open to a new deck. I opened the slider after dark and misjudged where the first step down to the deck was. So I opened the slider and basically disappeared, my bf said.%0D %0D I landed on the deck on my knee. Now it hurst sometimes when I walk go down staircases.

by Anonymousreply 5811/12/2010

Took my retriever out for a run on a grassy quad. We sprinted the whole length of the field, but when he got to the sidewalk at the end, the dog came to a (very unexpected) full stop.%0D %0D I didn't want to careen into him, but there was no time to zigzag, so I ended up doing a full-speed standing somersault right over the dog *and* the sidewalk, and miraculously wound up on my feet on the other side of the pavement.%0D %0D Thank jebus there were no witnesses. Hee.

by Anonymousreply 5911/12/2010

I was performing Miss Ross' "Remember Me" at Missie B's in August. The stage is black and three or four feet high. The floor beneath the stage is black too and there are no footlights or glowtape on the stage. There I was going for some cash and BOOM!!!right off the stage and on to the floor. For several weeks I could barely walk.%0D %0D My partner and both of the neighbors on either side of my house said it is karma for me making fun of him for hurting his knee playing softball a year ago.%0D %0D Then there was the time I took out a row of tables singing karaoke one night...drunk and fell backwards into a bunch of people. Apparently this is on video although I haven't seen it on Youtube yet. Ugh.

by Anonymousreply 6011/12/2010

Treadmill last Tuesday. Trying to adjust my headphone and just slid off - ungracefully!

by Anonymousreply 6111/12/2010

6 monthes ago a friend of mine had a stroke and lost her balance and I stupidly tried to break her fall (she weighs 100 lbs. more than me). I went down with her and broke my arm.

Four weeks ago she lost her balance again and broke her own arm.

Crazy.

by Anonymousreply 6211/12/2010

I fell on the sidewalk getting out of my roommate's car about two months ago, skinned my knee like a little kid. I still have a scar!

by Anonymousreply 6311/12/2010

Another time I was dancing with my cat in my kitchen and fell out of my shoe. I fell and twisted my ankle.

by Anonymousreply 6411/12/2010

These are hilarious!

by Anonymousreply 6511/12/2010

What a funny thread, except for that fact that I had a terrible spill about two months ago. Running to move my car to a legal spot, I tripped on a cobblestone sidewalk and fell flat on my face, with my wrists breaking my fall.

I was working with clients at the time and had to finish the day. I started sweating and seriously wondered if I needed to go to the emergency room. Advil sort of took the pain away.

The worst part: I'm 50 and I was working with a delicious 20ish twink who was into me. It was so fucking embarrassing. Just went to show me that I need to stay out of that territory. As it was, he was very sweet about the whole thing and didn't hold it against me but I felt very old.

by Anonymousreply 6611/12/2010

Is anybody else surprised by how many unbalanced people there are? Is there an epidemic of inner ear problems?

by Anonymousreply 6711/12/2010

R67, this is Datalounge. The number of unbalanced people really shouldn't come as a shock anymore.

by Anonymousreply 6811/12/2010

A year ago, on Bourbon Street in New Orleans. I wasn't even that drunk, sadly. I just tripped on a loose piece of brick in the sidewalk and went flying on my hands and knees. A nice group of youths from Tennessee came rushing over to ask if I was OK.

by Anonymousreply 6911/12/2010

About six weeks or so ago - rushing up the driveway in the dark after a windstorm that knocked down a lot of branches, tripped over a branch, right hand slid when it hit the ground because it landed in the wet, woodchipped landscape space, so it was nicely scraped up and dirtied to go along with a very, very sore knee that made itself known every time I knelt for the next three weeks.

by Anonymousreply 7011/12/2010

I never fall down - in fact I am very sure-footed - because I am 1/4 alpaca!

by Anonymousreply 7111/12/2010

[quote]my brother said it was really funny when he found her on the floor in the middle of the night how she kept denying she was in pain because she knew once she left she'd never see her home again

R10, your brother is an asshole.

by Anonymousreply 7211/12/2010

A few years ago, I was trying to get my winter boots laced up right outside the back door. It was raining and cold and I was in such a hurry to lace them up I didn't realize I was leaning too far to the left. Ended up falling over, rolling gently onto my back and still holding my shoe laces, wondering what the hell just happened.

My partner still talks about it with glee.

by Anonymousreply 7311/12/2010

I will freely admit that I am clumsy. My parents have an old colonial that had rough hewn granite steps to the front door. To make them more hospitable, my dad had new steps installed that had a more gradual, but shorter rise and run. Walking out of the door after they had been installed, I was in mid-conversation. You know how if you know an odd set of steps, you automatically navigate them?%0D This time I didn't. "Thanks for dinner, Mom" Clunk, thud. I landed on the leftovers and a lot of new bluestone.%0D %0D A few days ago, my assistant was dealing with a client. She's an adorable tiny woman with a penchant for the highest of high heels. New hairdo partially covering one eye, she starts stalking down the hallway to complain about the woman. Stomp, stomp, stomp---She strides forward down a long hallway toward my desk. "I cannot deal with this woman! She really---What does she...BOOM! She walked into a file cabinet taller than her, fell off one shoe and crumpled to the ground. I couldn't stop laughing, and when I picked her up, she fell off the other shoe and took us back to the floor.

by Anonymousreply 7411/12/2010

Walking in my apartment in my pajamas. Got my toes stuck in the bottom inside of the opening and went crashing to the floor.

by Anonymousreply 7511/12/2010

Last winter, I fell on ice in the backyard as I was taking the dog out.

I broke my arm in two, just below where the shoulder meets the upper arm bone.

One titanium rod later, I'm still here.

by Anonymousreply 7611/12/2010

About three weeks ago, I was standing on a stool on my tiptoes getting something down from a shelf. When I lowered myself back down onto my feet, I stepped off the edge of the stool. It was an easy kind of rolling fall and I landed on my bottom although I was a bit dazed for a few seconds.

My dogs are probably still laughing about it.

I hate videos like the one at R38 where some of those people probably ended up in the hospital.

by Anonymousreply 7711/12/2010

Oh how I wish a youtube video showing your fall would accompany each post.

by Anonymousreply 7811/12/2010

[quote]I was standing on a stool on my tiptoes getting something down from a shelf.

Honestly, at any point did you think maybe that wasn't a great idea??

by Anonymousreply 7911/12/2010

Except for the parts where you go to the ER, I wish these stories would keep on coming.

by Anonymousreply 8011/15/2010

[quote]Honestly, at any point did you think maybe that wasn't a great idea??

I freely admit it was a stupid thing to do, R79. It only would have taken a couple of minutes for me to get the folding two-step ladder from the adjacent kitchen.

by Anonymousreply 8111/15/2010

Me, last week:

by Anonymousreply 8211/15/2010

I waited two hours for a friend who was going to drive me to the Post Office to mail a heavy package, before we went out together. This person is chronically late. I had to get this box in the mail, so I headed out with this big box. I was crossing the street and fell forward on my knees. I got up and proceeded to the P.O. I got my box mailed but I had to go to the hospital the next day with a cracked knee cap (patella).

Before this, I can't remember falling down without snow or ice being involved.

by Anonymousreply 8311/15/2010

ciaran, be glad you weren't running with scissors. that tree could have been hurt...

by Anonymousreply 8411/15/2010

r83 sue your friend. what a bastard.

by Anonymousreply 8511/15/2010

I lived in Huntington Village, NY, and had been procrastinating resuming my jogging schedule due to the cold weather. (I'm from Florida.)

I went and bought cute black running tights, and set out one Saturday morning, full of hope.

I didn't get one block down the street before I slipped and fell. Thankfully I was able to put my hands out before my face smacked the sidewalk.

I had no idea that the sidewalks were coated with black ice.

I tore the left knee of my tights, and was skinned and bleeding in four places. I didn't attempt running again until spring.

by Anonymousreply 8611/15/2010

Our retired high school librarian tripped in her bedroom and put her eye out on the bed spindle. The poor lady drove herself to the ER!

by Anonymousreply 8711/15/2010

This past weekend. I was getting off an airplane in Denver and the person behind me tripped me. As I fell I couldn't get my cane out of the way and the handle smashed into my breastbone. I have never felt such pain, not peritonitis, not even spinal surgery hurt that bad. Noticed this morning that it looks like I have storm clouds brewing in my clevage.

by Anonymousreply 8811/15/2010

Hie thee to a doctor, R88. You could be looking at a cracked sternum or hematoma.

by Anonymousreply 8911/15/2010

Two recent trips are by far the worst spills I've taken. After a 2 hr massage, go to walk to my car and the rain had turned to sleet and there was black ice on the pavement. Feet went out from under me, tried to protect my head and used my hands..wrist just snapped. Laying on my back I am trying to yell help and she looks out the window to see me there. She comes out and has to scoot on her butt to get to me so she won't fall. Ruined a damn good massage. The second was weeks ago, new pair of boots with thicker sole, stepped out the backdoor only to have the sole catch on the door jamb, down I go again, fractured my ankle.

by Anonymousreply 9011/15/2010

Last week I got into a fight with the BF and I fell down the stairs.

by Anonymousreply 9111/15/2010

It was a few years ago at the baths on a Friday night. I didn't have dinner and had a beer on an empty stomach to calm my nerves (I'm not really a bathhouse guy but I was curious and in a dry spell). Big mistake. Started feeling woozy in the heat of the dry sauna as someone started groping me and went out to get under the shower to revive and down I fell flat on the shower floor stark naked. The kind gentlemen there helped me to a lounge chair and management came round to make sure I wasn't on drugs. Embarrassed - I sat until I felt I could walk, got dressed and went home unfulfilled.

by Anonymousreply 9211/15/2010

Fell down in the yard...just lost my balance, I guess. It didn't hurt.

by Anonymousreply 9311/15/2010

R90 have a glass of milk or something -

I don't want anyone to fall - that would be sick - but if they're gonna fall anyway, someone may as well enjoy it, why let it go to waste?

I'm a klutz - always was. I've had lots of slips, trips and falls. The last bad one was on ice last winter. A friend was staying with us and the BF was going to drive in to the airport in the morning. Of course this friend is my BFs ex - who I like a lot but didn't want to fall in front of him. I had just come down the stairs to greet him in the drive and take his suitcase and my feet went out from under me - I actually could see my boots in front of my face like a cartoon, and I went straight down and landed right on my back. I had a giant hematoma on my lower spine but my ego was much more bruised. Of course the BF and he almost pissed themselves laughing. bitches.

by Anonymousreply 9411/15/2010

BUMP

by Anonymousreply 9502/19/2013

Today trying to get around the junk in my apartment.

by Anonymousreply 9602/19/2013

Last winter and it was a doozy. I went down so fast and I was just laid out flat. This was on a New York City sidewalk. A couple people looked in my direction but not one person asked if I was o.k. My fellow citizens. Bless their black little hearts.

I always ask people if they are all right if they trip or stumble. Do you? I think it takes a bit out of the sting of embarrassment. At least it does for me. Maybe I'm hyper sensitive to even get embarrassed by stumbling.

I can't imagine seeing someone wipe out and [italic]not[/italic] asking them if they are o.k.

by Anonymousreply 9702/19/2013

I was walking and saw about a 10 yr old kid wipe out on his skateboard. He fell pretty damn hard.

I asked if he was ok and he popped right up and said, "Yes Sir."

Skateboarders are tough hombres... even the pups!

by Anonymousreply 9802/19/2013

A few years ago I was walking up my basement stairs (an open staircase with unfinished wood) when I lost my footing and landed smack on my face. I busted my chin open and was bleeding like a stuck pig. My BF drove me to the ER and they had to give me stitches. BTW, I was 100% sober at the time. I still have a tiny scar, but I don't really care because it could have been worse. I'm lucky I didn't knock any of my teeth out.

by Anonymousreply 9902/19/2013
Loading
Need more help? Click Here.