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Ways to not get picked at Jury Duty.

What if I walk in with a hangover, half beard and smelly pajamas? %0D %0D I am terribly swamped at work because I'm taking a long vacation in a week and we are understaffed. This couldn't have come at a worse time.%0D %0D Suppose I tell them I'm in the middle of a robbery case?

by Anonymousreply 15711/09/2014

Tell them you worship Satan and let him guide you in all decisions.

by Anonymousreply 111/07/2010

If you walk in like that, they'll think you're a bum who has nothing better to do. Better to go in and talk to yourself or, better yet, to your invisible friend.

by Anonymousreply 211/07/2010

He must be guilty, your honor. The police never arrest innocent people.

by Anonymousreply 311/07/2010

Just have an actual opinion during the initial selection. They don't want people who have a point of view, i.e. biases.

by Anonymousreply 411/07/2010

If it's civil court, say a relative owns or works for the type of business that's involved ("My brother owns an insurance company... or "my sister-in-law works for the electric company.")

by Anonymousreply 511/07/2010

If you have the balls, but I don't know anyone who does, say something racist or sexist during the Juror questioning.

by Anonymousreply 611/07/2010

It's the American justice system%E2%80%94answer the questions intelligently and efficiently. I tried acting crazy and was picked as the foreman.

by Anonymousreply 711/07/2010

lol @ r7

by Anonymousreply 811/07/2010

Be really careful, because if you piss off the judge by acting like an asshole, you can be held in contempt of court and fined.%0D %0D One time I said my boyfriend was a cop (and he was). That was met by stunned silence and I was excused. %0D %0D In NYC that wouldn't get a blink probably, but it worked in Wichita.

by Anonymousreply 911/07/2010

[R9] beat me to it -- someone was held in contempt and fined for it the last time I went and had come back to do it a second time. Do you think courts are not hip to this? Check your rules. If you haven't declined before, many jurisdictions give you an automatic pass if you can't do it, but you'll be rescheduled in a matter of months.

by Anonymousreply 1011/07/2010

RE: One time I said my boyfriend was a cop (and he was). That was met by stunned silence and I was excused. %0D %0D %0D Wow... R9 that is material for a movie..%0D %0D I can see the shock in the courtroom...

by Anonymousreply 1111/07/2010

Try talking like a pirate all day.

by Anonymousreply 1211/07/2010

The shock may have been that he/she had a BF, R11, not to mention could get a cop. Or would date a cop. Or didn't care or have anything to say and it was mistaken for "stunned silence."

by Anonymousreply 1311/07/2010

Say you support the death penalty. For everything. Chuckle like you meant it as a joke. Then mention biblical punishments, like eye for an eye, chopping off the hands of thieves, chopping off ... you get the idea. Surefire way? Don't get a driver's license. That's where they get the nmes

by Anonymousreply 1411/07/2010

Got picked for jury duty, and one guy who was selected came in with a Metallica t-shirt, ripped jeans, steel-toed boots, and grease on his hands from stopping in at the garage before he reported. He got selected because we ran out of people on the first day of voir dire. The next day he came in showered, shaved, and with a tie.

by Anonymousreply 1511/07/2010

[quote] Surefire way? Don't get a driver's license. That's where they get the nmes Most places also get names from voter registration rolls.

by Anonymousreply 1611/07/2010

get an extension, and do it later, or else tell them about your work project and how much you are needed. If you are in NY, they are actually very understanding. I got off last time by saying I was in the middle of a big project and as a freelancer would be taking a financial hardship.

by Anonymousreply 1711/07/2010

R4 is correct. Tell them you don't believe the proecutor would go to the trouble of taking someone to trial unless there was a lot of evidence against the person.%0D %0D For civil, tell them you believe the justice system allows people to bring outrageous cases for ridiculous reasons. The defendants will strike you from the list.

by Anonymousreply 1811/07/2010

No R13. It was because a guy was standing in court in the biggest little town in America, loaded to the gills with right-wing fundies (remember this is where Dr. Tiller was murdered)and cops, and said my boyfriend was a cop.%0D %0D The stunned silence was genuine, I'm sure.

by Anonymousreply 1911/07/2010

I was selected for a domestic violence case. We had to fill out surveys to find out how we felt about domestic violence. I wrote that women have it coming to them if they get hit, that there is always a reason someone gets hit, it doesn't come out of the blue and if bitches don't provoke, they wouldn't get beat. I was immediately dismissed.

by Anonymousreply 2011/07/2010

Don't wait to go through the jury selection process and then act like a jerk so you won't be selected. That wastes everybody's time, including your own.%0D %0D When you get a jury summons, call the jury office and tell them you are self employed and the sole support of your family, and that jury duty would impose economic hardship. %0D %0D Do NOT say you are unemployed, that's not a viable reason and they won't excuse you for that.

by Anonymousreply 2111/07/2010

I'm just idealistic enough to believe that jury duty is a small price to pay for a judicial system that usually works fairly. That said, it's not necessary to do or say anything stupid to get out of it. All you need to say is that you could not be objective in this particular situation. If you need to be more specific, just make a very opinionated statement.

by Anonymousreply 2211/07/2010

I did what r6 suggested. I felt shitty doing it because who wants to paint themselves as a bigot but I knew it would get me off the panel of jurors.

by Anonymousreply 2311/07/2010

Forget these dramatic gestures mentioned here. The easiest thing: bring along a note pad, and everytime the lawyers say something, raise your hand, ask them to repeat it, ask them how to spell their names etc. They peg you as a trouble maker and you will be released.

by Anonymousreply 2411/07/2010

Some of these selections are really funny. Thanks guys.

by Anonymousreply 2511/07/2010

The courts know which companies have a generous jury duty policy. I work for the phone company; whenever one of my employees is asked to call in, they end up getting picked.

by Anonymousreply 2611/07/2010

When its your turn at voir dire start every answer with "as stated in prophecy".

by Anonymousreply 2711/07/2010

I'm with r22. I think reporting for jury duty, and serving if chosen, is an important part of good citizenship.

by Anonymousreply 2811/07/2010

I was in a jury pool and told the judge I didn't think I could be objective about the case and he threatened me with contempt and threw me out of the courtroom.%0D %0D Don't give me that shit about civic duty. I did exactly what the attorneys said we should do and that is be honest about our feelings about the case and I got reamed.

by Anonymousreply 2911/07/2010

Are you still in Wichita r9?

by Anonymousreply 3011/07/2010

Past felony conviction(s) helps.

by Anonymousreply 3111/07/2010

In California you can no longer be excused for economic hardship. I'm still pissed off that I had to use up all my vacation days and then some even afer I explained my situation to the judge. I was on a jury for an entire month.%0D %0D OP, be opinionated. You can figure out the bias they're trying to see you might have during questioning. Once you figure sound as biased as possible. Make up a story about a friend whom you trust deeply told you blah blah blah. If you can't think of anything but someone earlier said something you liked just say you agreed with him/ her and expand on that if you'd like.%0D %0D I don't know if this will work but my judge excused someone who brought a plain ticket showing she planned a trip the same time the trial was going to take place. If you're so inclined buy a cheap transferable plane ticket that coincides with the trial dates.%0D %0D Good luck.%0D %0D %0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 3211/07/2010

Tell them that you have very little faith in the justice system and that you know juries aren't told everything and you're not sure if you can live with passing judgement without all the facts.%0D %0D They will excuse you.

by Anonymousreply 3311/07/2010

Can you fake not being able to understand English? The last time my father was called for jury duty, he said a lot of jurors were excused because their command of English wasn't strong enough to fully grasp the proceedings.

by Anonymousreply 3411/07/2010

I got a notice for jury duty for this upcoming week. I called in but they don't need me tomorrow. I'm kind of wishing they would because I'd get paid for it by my employer and man, I could use some time off.

by Anonymousreply 3511/07/2010

I've noticed they've been really rough in vetting potential jurors for capital cases -- at least in LA County. A murder conviction was recently overthrown when in the appeal they showed the attorneys did a poor job in the voir dire -- the jury questioning phase.

by Anonymousreply 3611/07/2010

Jesus fucking Christ people, we only ask three things of you in this democracy - vote, pay yer damned taxes, and show up for jury duty. Jumping jacked-up tap-dancing Jesus H. Christ on a crutch ! Fucking miserable, lazy, selfish bitches. No wonder the judicial system is all fucked up, and this is part of the reason why. Fuck I hope I never get into trouble with the law. No telling what dreck I'll end up with for a jury. Goddamitt it's a civic duty, just do it ! Fer fuck's sakes. Goddammitt.

by Anonymousreply 3711/07/2010

Go to law school.

by Anonymousreply 3811/07/2010

[quote]Goddamitt it's a civic duty, just do it !

Worked for me.

by Anonymousreply 3911/07/2010

I am sure none of you would bitch about how a jury decides a case since y'all are too important to serve.%0D %0D Who knew there were so many Freepers on this site.

by Anonymousreply 4011/07/2010

r32, I think it's illegal for an employer to make you use vacation days for jury duty. You should check on that.

by Anonymousreply 4111/07/2010

Judges and juries need to be replaced with computers.

5 minutes, in and out.

by Anonymousreply 4211/07/2010

In my area, you get paid for jury duty. Lots of bored, unemployed people volunteer to take jury duty when they get called. I've been called a few times and when I got there, so many people volunteered to serve that I never had to worry. Unemployed people were tripping over themselves to get grand jury duty, which pays $40 a day.

The economy is really bad.

by Anonymousreply 4311/07/2010

[quote]OP, be opinionated. You can figure out the bias they're trying to see you might have during questioning. Once you figure sound as biased as possible. Exactly. It's as simple as that. Nearly everyone else will bend over backwards to assure the court of their total objectivity (yeah, right). Those who actually express a firm opinion stick out like sore thumbs, and are dismissed. And I love R27!

by Anonymousreply 4411/07/2010

Serruptitiously masturbating (aka "voiring your dire") during selection almost certainly guarantees a dismissal if noticed.

by Anonymousreply 4511/07/2010

[quote]No telling what dreck I'll end up with for a jury.

You'll get what juries always serve up - a bunch of liars who deny ever having a solid opinion on anything, and who swear they can be objective even though further questioning turns up ample proof to the contrary.

The jury system DOES. NOT. WORK.

by Anonymousreply 4611/07/2010

I was in jury selection. One of the women questioned (I was in the back row) told them she was a defense attorney and knows how corrupt police can be.%0D %0D They didn't pick her.

by Anonymousreply 4711/07/2010

R41, my company only paid for a few days of jury duty service. After that it was either not get paid or use my vacation days and get a paycheck. I chose to use my vacation days.%0D %0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 4811/07/2010

I informed the judge that I was going to a political protest with my young son during the course of the trial. I stated that teaching my son about the freedom to protest peacefully was equally as important as performing my civic duty as a member of a jury. I also stated that I would gladly serve on a jury on a later date. I was excused.

by Anonymousreply 4911/07/2010

Just ignore your jury summons. I just noticed in my huge pile of unopened mail that I had a jury summons from March. Obviously I didn't go since I didn't know about it and nothing happened.

by Anonymousreply 5011/07/2010

Appear intelligent.

by Anonymousreply 5111/07/2010

I enjoyed jury duty. It was like watching a two-week long Law & Order episode, what with how stoned I was the whole time.

If you want to get out of it, tell the judge you find his tits mesmerizing.

by Anonymousreply 5211/07/2010

answering questions with a bias doesn't always work. I answered once with a clear bias and I was selected for the jury.

by Anonymousreply 5311/07/2010

I've done jury duty six times in NYC. SIX! I've gotten picked for cases five times, all but the most recent. Ay my most recent appearance, happily my name just didn't come up until the second day, and self-employed people were not being considered for the long case at hand. Dismissed for six more years. Yahoo!

It's important everybody serves, as others have said it's a small price to pay for our participatory judicial system. I'm proud to do it.

by Anonymousreply 5411/07/2010

Had my doctor write that I had poly urea. He said that if I was picked they would have to stop proceedings several times an hour so I could go take a piss. Permanently excused. Not a lie, I have an anxiety disorder.

My husband went in an knew the Judge, the D.A. and the defense attorney. Small county. Excused.

by Anonymousreply 5511/07/2010

[quote]In California you can no longer be excused for economic hardship.

Not true. I was just did jury duty at Superoir Court in downtown LA and lots of people stated economic hardship and the judge let them off with no problem.

by Anonymousreply 5611/07/2010

Piss yourself on the stand when they're interviewing you. Or if you want to go big, shit yourself, so the crap runs down your leg and out on the floor. Both worked for me.

by Anonymousreply 5711/07/2010

Officially L.A. has ruled out economic hardship as an excuse, but individual judges may well be excusing people for such claims.%0D %0D I'm in the "Pay the two dollars" camp.%0D %0D It's called a civic duty, bitches.%0D %0D And yes, I've used vacation days for jury duty but I dined out on the story for the whole season!%0D %0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 5811/07/2010

I was once with a guy in a jury pool. A drug case. During the selection interview this guy said out loud that he would probably vote for a conviction.%0D %0D Why?%0D %0D Because he had bought drugs from the defendant - and they weren't any good.

by Anonymousreply 5911/07/2010

Presenting your hole does wonders.

by Anonymousreply 6011/07/2010

"Officially L.A. has ruled out economic hardship as an excuse, but individual judges may well be excusing people for such claims."%0D %0D Exactly. That's why I'm still pissed off about my experience. I wasn't making much money. I brought all my bills and my last few paycheck stubs with me, handed them to the judge to look over, and he still didn't let me go all the while knowing the case would last about a month and my company only paid for a few days of jury service.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 6111/08/2010

Having served on a jury, I no longer trust the jury system in our county. Too many stupid people.

by Anonymousreply 6211/08/2010

R3 and R4 nailed it. I was interviewed in a case where a young father killed his baby by shaking it to death. He calimed he didn't do it. I just told the lawyers that as the child's father it was his responsibility to protect that child and he failed so he was guilty no matter how it happened.%0D %0D Another time, a young man was being charged with rape because two very mature looking 14 year old girls partied with some 19 yr. olds, got drunk, and had sex. I told the judge I had two sisters and I would want to just kill someone who did that to my sisters! I said where there's smoke there's fire.%0D %0D Both times I was excused when the attornies used their premtory challenges.

by Anonymousreply 6311/08/2010

What jury notice? I didn't receive any jury notice? Damn. That fuckin' post office! Can you believe how bad the mail is in this country?! Last week they lost my....

by Anonymousreply 6411/08/2010

The last time I was called for jury duty a lot of scumbags got off by saying they could/would not be partial if they were picked for the trial.

Of course, someone else had to take their place.

by Anonymousreply 6511/08/2010

As personnel manager for a small company, I wrote a letter for an employee requesting she be excused from a federal grand jury because her services were vital to our small company.%0D %0D It fell on deaf ears.

by Anonymousreply 6611/08/2010

All of you who want to find ways not to serve can kindly fuck yourselves. As previous posters have said, we do not ask THAT much from you to maintain what is left of our democracy.

by Anonymousreply 6711/08/2010

If anybody in your family has worked in the justice system or gone through the system, make sure you put that on the questionnaire. They may assume you're biased, even if you tell them you're not.

by Anonymousreply 6811/08/2010

oops, "partial" should be impartial.

by Anonymousreply 6911/08/2010

Both times that I've been called, I've brought a John Grisham book to read while I wait. I've been dismissed both times, I assume because the lawyers figure I would be a pain in the ass wannabe junior lawyer.%0D %0D Either that or my answers are horrible and I don't realize what a terrible person I am.

by Anonymousreply 7011/08/2010

If everyone else in the judicial system is a paid professional then jurors should be too.

by Anonymousreply 7111/08/2010

My friend got out of jury duty because he had a letter from his employer saying that he would not be paid while away on jury duty.

by Anonymousreply 7211/08/2010

r71 doesn't understand what serve and duty mean.

by Anonymousreply 7311/08/2010

For all you people who think it's civic duty and we should just shut up a do it. Fuck you because a lot of jobs do not pay you to go and in LA you get $15 dollars. In NY I know you get $40 bucks but $15???%0D %0D That is not enough to do your civic duty. If you have vacation time, there it goes, if you work freelance, you're fucked.%0D %0D For those looking to get out of it. It's not what you say or do that is important but what you do when others are being interviewed. They are watching your reaction when others are being questioned. They are aware of bullshit when you are being questioned. %0D %0D Start smirking when others answer senstive questions, looked surprised at other answers. Nod when someone says something biased. Then when they get to you act hard of hearing, having them repeat everything, look up and down around the room, pick at your skin but answer each questions like you are serious and want to do your best.

by Anonymousreply 7411/08/2010

I understand it perfectly, R73. That is best left for the military, where servitude is voluntary.

I pay my taxes and vote. That's more than enough.

by Anonymousreply 7511/08/2010

During voir dire they should ask how much blood and guts one can handle. I was picked for a federal drug case that involved a lot of violence. Many photos of bloody, maimed bodies. Lots of detailed descriptions of depraved behavior. I puked at least once a day during the month I was on the jury. %0D %0D A simple, "Are you a Mary?" might have gotten me out of there.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 7611/08/2010

OP you might have to show up for he general jury pool but there's no guarantee you'll get picked for a panel to actually be interviewed to be n a jury.

If you're in California they have a "1 day or 1 trial" system in most courts.

You show up and if you don't get picked that day you're done for at least a year.

This may depend on which county you're in, and if it's not a state or county trial court your mileage may vary.

Also, they normally ask up front if you have any reason that you cannot serve at this time, prior to calling people for panels. If you have a vacation or business trip planned and you can show them tickets, etc, then you can postpone your service to a later time.

by Anonymousreply 7711/08/2010

I wouldn't have minded doing a week long trial. That would have been fine. But to be on jury duty for an entire month that puts someone out of pocket while there are unemployed people and retirees available as potential jurors is just wrong.

by Anonymousreply 7811/08/2010

Two words: explosive diarrhea

by Anonymousreply 7911/08/2010

As someone mentioned earlier in the thread, just ask for an extension if this is a bad time for you.

I did that a few years ago when my mother was in the last stages of cancer. They called me back for jury duty 6 months later.

They never asked for any proof, but I suppose they could have.

by Anonymousreply 8011/08/2010

I had to appear in federal court once for jury duty. During the screening process all of us were asked how we felt about the police. I said I had mixed feelings and was excused post haste.%0D %0D It was a drug-related case.

by Anonymousreply 8111/08/2010

I wouldn't trust someone as sanctimonious as R28 to polish my silver without counting it afterwards.

by Anonymousreply 8211/08/2010

I've been told anyone who admits to being very religious gets eliminated, because they think you'll be too soft-hearted.

by Anonymousreply 8311/08/2010

I have been a registered voter since 1976 and I have never been called for jury duty -- NEVER! I'm very upset about it, since my students get called all the time.%0D %0D %0D I guess they don't trust me.

by Anonymousreply 8411/08/2010

You could try this:%0D %0D CLEVELAND (AP) - An Ohio man was excused from jury service after mentioning he was friends growing up with serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 8511/08/2010

Just tell them that you think the cops set up defendents. You will never be called again.

by Anonymousreply 8611/08/2010

"Suppose I tell them I'm in the middle of a robbery case?"%0D %0D As a victim? a defendant? a lawyer? a judge?%0D %0D If you have a functional career and are clearly not mentally unbalanced to the degree where you would arrive in court wearing pajamas, I would think the judge would be able to find you in contempt for arriving in court wearing pajamas, so I wouldn't advise it.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 8711/08/2010

NYC is pretty efficient at getting you in and out; I've been called maybe four times in the 20-plus years I've lived here. I was never seated on a jury because of various things: relatives who are/were in law enforcement; relatives who have been drug abusers; I was the victim of a violent crime; I've been sued in civil court. Boom...out with the "served" notice.%0D %0D This last time, I was actually seated, and was flabbergasted. It turns out the lawyers were planning to settle as soon as the jury was seated, so they essentially took the first six (and two alternate) jurors in the pool.%0D %0D We showed up, the case was settled, and I was out the door with my six-year exemption.%0D %0D Day and a half, which tied with the longest I've had to spend on jury duty.%0D %0D Just GO.

by Anonymousreply 8811/08/2010

Another NYC jury story: a friend of mine was called, and they asked if he was married, and he said "yes" and they asked what his wife did, and he said "HUSBAND." And they said, you mean your partner. And he said: no, my HUSBAND. %0D %0D And he was dismissed (and this was in Manhattan).

by Anonymousreply 8911/08/2010

Will being closely related to a local defense attorney get you dismissed?

by Anonymousreply 9011/08/2010

If you have problems with a minimal support of the judicial system of the United States, you should seriously consider moving to a country whose judicial system you would rather support.

by Anonymousreply 9111/08/2010

I was in the same jury duty pool as Anderson Cooper ten years ago or so. He got dismissed because when they asked "is anyone involved in litigation right now?" he said he was, on a case involving someone who stole his identity. I was dismissed because I spoke Spanish.%0D %0D We found out the case involved credit card theft and the suspect only spoke Spanish. That of course gave me an advantage in hearing the defendant in the original language, while everyone else got translations. %0D %0D But AC, I mean - WHAT are the chances 1) anyone would steal the identity of someone public with that unusual a name? 2) that his case was that close in nature to the case we were there for?%0D %0D He wasn't as famous then but still. He seemed like a nice guy (and hot!). The judge didn't know him well (kept calling him Cooper Anderson).%0D %0D Years later I allowed myself to think maybe he knew someone and was primed ahead of time.

by Anonymousreply 9211/08/2010

It's not that I don't want to do my civic's just that I honestly do not trust the courts or the police. Should I be honest about that or should I pretend...

by Anonymousreply 9311/08/2010

Only if they ask you, r93. I've always been honest about everything and haven't had to serve yet. But it would look highly suspect to volunteer biased information.

by Anonymousreply 9411/08/2010

To those who don't trust the courts and the police, the defendant on the trial has no choice in whether or not to trust the court and the police.%0D %0D It's called a jury of your peers and if you were the one on trial you would want someone on the jury who doesn't have blind faith in the courts and police.

by Anonymousreply 9511/08/2010

Ask if the defendant has big titties. If they say it is a guy, say "Gross!!!! If he's black he guilty".

You will not be picked....

by Anonymousreply 9611/08/2010

[quote] It's called a jury of your peers and if you were the one on trial you would want someone on the jury who doesn't have blind faith in the courts and police.

If I were the one on trial I would realize how screwed I was because my fate was in the hands of 12 people not smart enough to figure out how to get out of jury duty.

by Anonymousreply 9711/08/2010

[quote] If you have problems with a minimal support of the judicial system of the United States, you should seriously consider moving to a country whose judicial system you would rather support.%0D %0D Perhaps you'd be happier in a place where it was put up or shut up.

by Anonymousreply 9811/08/2010

R74 that's why we call it a *duty* You don't get paid to do your duty - you do it because it's required of you. It's a civic duty because it's part of he social contract, you douchebag.

R 71/75 - no paying your taxes & voting are not enough and jury duty is not servitude, it's part of maintaining what's left of civil society. The reason we have juries is precisely *because* they aren't professionals in the judicial system.

Oh never mind, never mind, Magna Charta and Sixth Amendment - we didn't mean it all that while ago. Never mind.

Fuck yourselves 71/75 & 74. It's partly because of lazy assholes like you that it's been so fucking easy to abrogate the Constitution. It's not all your fault, but you helped.

by Anonymousreply 9911/08/2010

[quote]Will being closely related to a local defense attorney get you dismissed?

Probably not, R90. He would have to be directly involved in the case for which you were summoned for that to happen. Usually the potential jurors are told who all the parties, attorneys, etc. are and you're supposed to tell if you know any of them.

by Anonymousreply 10011/08/2010

When asked the preliminary questions, I responded by barking like a dog.

by Anonymousreply 10111/08/2010

First - Take your laptop. Most jury waiting rooms have WiFi and you can work remotely. Second - If they call your name, just ignore. They'll assume you're on the crapper and move on to another candidate. If you're not called by 10 or 11 a.m., then it is very likely that you won't be called and will be released for the day. If you're not called by Tues./Wed., then you most likely won't BE called. If you do end up in voir dire and don't want to serve, then just indicate that you have past juror experience and it was "a total letdown", "too lenient", "very hard to follow", etc. Play dumbass.

by Anonymousreply 10211/08/2010

By the way, I think the jury system should be abolished. I've been on 3 juries, and let me tell you - they're loaded with fucking MORONS. I think all cases that would normally be decided by juries should be decided by a panel of judges, with a simple majority.

by Anonymousreply 10311/08/2010

I was forced to cancel a dinner invitation with Jimmy and Roslyn Carter due to jury duty. We were sequestered and I had to share a motel room with an old biddy who kept her June Allyson bladder pads on the night stand.

by Anonymousreply 10411/08/2010

I received a jury duty summons last year (LA county). First I asked for a change of venue, which was granted, but the start date now fell on a religious holiday. I called the Thursday before and asked the service to be postponed a week, which they did. I called in every night and never had to appear.

My theory is that by asking for the postponement at the last minute I was thrown to the back of the line, as it were, and they simply never got around to me.

Since then I've suggested this to three other co-workers who got jury duty summons. All three called at the last minute and postponed, and all three never had to show up, either.

It's worth a try, OP. If it doesn't work, you've got lots of useful (and not so useful) excuses in this thread to try.

by Anonymousreply 10511/08/2010

By the way, if you are on medication, you can always say "I have to take xxxxxx at various times throughout the day, limiting my ability to participate fully in the jury process." They'll excuse you.

by Anonymousreply 10611/08/2010

Tell 'em you simply can't miss your soaps or Oprah, especially since it's her final year. It worked for me.

by Anonymousreply 10711/08/2010

[quote]All three called at the last minute and postponed%0D %0D Where I live (Riverside County CA) you have to request a postponement by a certain date. It tells you so in the jury summons you get in the mail. After that date you MUST show up in person on your jury duty date to request from the judge that you be re-assigned a new date.

by Anonymousreply 10811/08/2010

Cry. Worked for me. I'm a girl, btw. Use what you got, folks.

Also, that "1 day 1 trial" rule is total bullshit. There's a clause that basically says "...unless the judge wants you to come back." I wasn't picked but forced to come back the next day. Also the "not likely to be picked if they haven't called you by 10 or 11 am" is bs, as I've been called around 3 or 4 pm both times I was called in.

In general, what I have heard and seen is that the judges are hip to all the tricks people try to pull to get out of jury duty, and will pretty much bitch you out for it. So expect a fight. They also don't care how much work you will miss.

by Anonymousreply 10911/08/2010

r99, Fuck you! Again. I've been called 3 times (Under 35 too) and I have gone each time. The first time in NY I was on a civil case for 2 weeks. I was still working (Independent Contractor) so I didn't even get the compensation.%0D %0D It I asked to be excused before the penalty began because I could fucking stay awake.%0D %0D So Fuck you! I've done it, don't like it and am going to do whatever I need to, to get out of it next time.

by Anonymousreply 11011/08/2010

Yes, 108, that's what they say, but, at least in Los Angeles, they're willing to make exceptions as long as you aren't trying to get out of it altogether. The big thing today is you can NOT get out of showing up for jury duty unless you meet their very strict, short list of exemptions (24 hour care of a child under 5, or ill adult (dr's verification required). You HAVE to show up, and tell it to the judge.

I once got off of jury duty because I had a dentist appt. the next day to repair a crown. Sorry, your honor, I can't predict when I'm going to have a dental emergency. He really couldn't argue with that one.

by Anonymousreply 11111/08/2010

Thanks for the response, R100. I kinda figured as much.

by Anonymousreply 11211/08/2010

OP here, I got picked!

by Anonymousreply 11311/08/2010

take it as a compliment OP.%0D %0D They think you are sane! Woo-hoo for you.

by Anonymousreply 11411/08/2010

R92: AC was hosting The Mole at the time and was traveling a lot, and he had three checks stolen from his suitcase at an airport. It was an account he didn't use very often, so by the time he realized, the person had stolen $25,000. He only got $3000 back because he took so long to report it.

by Anonymousreply 11511/08/2010

OP, your service will be over before you know it and you'll likely have an interesting story to tell from it.

by Anonymousreply 11611/09/2010

After reading this thread it should be titled Ways to Get Put in Jail for Contempt of Court. Seriously, lawyer here, most of this will get you a contempt fine and possibly jail time.

by Anonymousreply 11711/09/2010

Some of the posters here have noted that they have had to serve even though their employers did not pay them for the time off.

I wonder how they feel now knowing they may not have had to serve if others had done their duty and served instead of figuring out a way to get out of it.

by Anonymousreply 11811/09/2010

I'd be happy to do it. I never get called.%0D %0D I got called once in the last 15 years. I went and sat around in a room and then was dismissed at around 3pm. Never even went before a judge or lawyers for questioning.%0D %0D I was called one other time, about 20 years ago, and it was scheduled for March 17th. My parents owned an irish bar and I got it postponed because my parents needed me to work. I was never recalled.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 11911/09/2010

We get called for a two week period but only have to report the first day, then call every night to see if we are needed. I only got called in halfway through the second week. I did get on the initial panel the first day and the day we got called in. Both times I was dismissed for cause because I am a lawyer.

by Anonymousreply 12011/09/2010

In Toronto, if you're summoned for jury duty, it's mandatory you appear at the court house EVERY DAY for a week, regardless of whether you're needed. None of this "call the night before to see if you have to go in" business.

And I watched several people try to get out of jury duty when they were selected for a trial -- each time, the judge on the case was VERY tough on the person wanting to be excused. He/she challenged every claim, including folks who were self-employed or claimed they would somehow be prejudiced (e.g., "I know someone who owns a similar business," "I have outside knowledge of this case because I saw it on the news," etc.).

So, if you're gonna try to get out of it, be prepared to be convincing and firm in your resolve.

by Anonymousreply 12111/09/2010

Well, that's because there are fewer people in Canada.

by Anonymousreply 12211/09/2010

Well that was easy. They settled before I even entered the room. We were there for two hours and dismissed. Now I get the whole day off!!!

by Anonymousreply 12311/09/2010

I worked in newspapers for many years, and any of my coworkers that were called were always dismisssed. For some reason they didn't want journalists. Maybe they think they'll be able to get inside information from cops reporters?

by Anonymousreply 12411/09/2010

I just got picked to go in for jury selection tomorrow... oh what a fun Friday this is gonna be.

I'm just going to be honest with them. I'm pretty certain that'll get me out of having to do the jury duty.

by Anonymousreply 12511/11/2010

Fuck me, I got my notice today. It's the very first time I've been selected. From what I understand of the notice system, as a virgin juror I can postpone the date without questions asked. Correct?

by Anonymousreply 12611/13/2010

Came home on Friday and found my jury duty notice in the mail. Last time I was called, which was a few years ago, when I called the night before, I was told I wasn't needed. Can I be lucky again this time?

by Anonymousreply 12711/13/2010

I was called for Federal Jury. We were given a 12-page questionnaire with questions including what radio stations we listen to. It also asked our feelings on Rap Music and the artists who perform it. Wrote that all raps performers are thugs. I was dismissed. Next day read in the paper it was the L'il Kim case. IIRC, she was accused of lying about having a gun in some street dispute.

by Anonymousreply 12811/13/2010

You sound like a fucking racist to me.

by Anonymousreply 12911/13/2010

"Ways to not get picked at Jury Duty"

OP belongs not on the jury panel but in the dock.

by Anonymousreply 13011/13/2010

To all you bubbleheads who think everyone should love jury duty, you've obviously never been. I live in Manhattan and the times I've been on a jury, the people were fucking retarded.

One time we went into the room to begin deliberations and this stupid black woman lays her head down on the table and says "I've decided not to vote."

Another time there was this woman who was a paralegal and every time someone said something, she would have to interject her "knowledge" of the law.

Another time I was the foreman. So the first thing I did during deliberations was to ask each person to state if they were "decided" or "undecided" on the case. One black woman asks me "Who made you foreman?"

The judges are real ballbusters in NYC. For a couple of years I worked the graveyard shift (midnight to 8 am). So my first day of jury duty (Monday) I get called and I tell the judge that I just got off working the graveyard shift (Sunday night into Monday morning) and wasn't used to being awake at that hour and the bitch says: "You're not supposed to go to work while on jury duty."

by Anonymousreply 13111/13/2010

Never respond to the questionnaire. you won't be found for years. Though if you vote, that's when the questionnaire comes in the mail.

When I moved, I never changed address at the post office, I just contacted credit card companies and the others I get bills from.

I recently got to two questionnaire forms in the past three months, the second was telling me I was delinquent in filling out the questionnaire, that it was due back in 10 days or whatever. They stressed it wasn't a Summons to appear, but that "you must" fill out the questionnaire.

I'm too busy, besides working, I'm the care giver to my elderly parents, they can still get around a bit, but I do most of their shopping for them and run other errands. I'm exhausted. My partner helps as much as he can, he has a full time job and his own parental responsibilities.

Who's got time for a trial, for some idiot criminal who doesn't even show up? A relative was on two rape trials, for one trial, the rapist didn't even show up!

What are they going to do, track me down and arrest me? Pfft. If they do, I'll just tell them I was away. I'm a freelancer, so that's believable.

I'm self employed, I don't get paid from my accounts if I have to go on jury duty. The money they pay is a joke. I'm a bus ride and two trains from the court they had wanted me to go to in past! The amount paid for jury duty, doesn't go very far between carfare and lunch, maybe you're left with $10?

I spoke to my doctor's office manager about his recently, she's been "throwing the forms in the garbage for years", so far, they haven't tracked her down, she about 35-36. She's also never served.

I'm in NY. I've successfully avoided jury duty my entire adult life, I'm certainly not going to start now!

by Anonymousreply 13211/13/2010

@R67 Would you do it if you would not only lose a weeks pay but Three months. Some people have good reason to try to get out of it. My pay is based on billable hours to a client but the client will choose another consultant because I would have to be off one week a month for three months so I would Loose three months pay not just the three weeks. So before you start calling names and acting holyer than though think about that.

by Anonymousreply 13311/15/2012

People should only get called for jury duty if they've committed a crime in the past that required a jury to be assembled. It's only fair. I lead a quiet life and will never get involved in any activity requiring a jury of my peers to be selected, so why should I serve on one?

by Anonymousreply 13411/15/2012

Raise your hand and asked if you're ineligible because you've been CONVICTED of a crime or just ARRESTED?

by Anonymousreply 13511/15/2012

R29 has nailed it. They say they want you to be honest and then ream you out and threaten you with contempt of court if you are. It's not worth it.

Mine was a drug case. When the attorney asked what we thought about drugs several said something like "I think drugs are terrible. But I can be objective." This way they were compliant but stated an opinion and were given a pass.

They were clearly more experienced with jury selection than I was.

by Anonymousreply 13611/15/2012

You're going to lie to the court you are in the middle of a robbery case? Brainy idea, Dude. Don't you think they would be able to verify that by a quick computer check and stick you with contempt?

by Anonymousreply 13711/15/2012

Put a yellow sticker on the summons letter that says forward order expired. Return to sender.

by Anonymousreply 13811/19/2012

I hate to sound all Frank Capra, but jury duty makes me feel like a real citizen. I've been called four times in Manhattan, but they never pick me for a trial.

I tried to figure out why they never chose me. I was dressed nicely, paid attention, and not "obviously gay."

I came to the conclusion that you'll get tossed if you answer "reading" on a questionnaire that asks for hobbies or tell them you have a university degree.

by Anonymousreply 13911/19/2012

I was discharged because I claimed a hardship. I'm a freelancer who lives alone and am 100% financially independent.

Once I found out the judge was dismissing people who had "vacations" booked but was making self-employed people stay, I freaked out, started bawling in front of the judge and lawyers (in private) about how I don't think someone else's ability to take vacation is more important than my ability to pay rent next month. He said, "Well it's because a vacation is booked and paid for..." and I was like, "It's a loss of money. So what? So is my income when I don't work!" He then said he totally agreed with me, asked a few more questions about my line of work, and sent me out the back entrance, end of story. The lawyers just stared. I was really embarrassed, but that is what the prospect of true hardship does to people.

Basically if your service would truly be a hardship, and I'm talking about a legitimate financial hardship that would cause suffering (debt, psychological damage, etc.), you would be affected emotionally and the judge will be able to see that.

As far as getting out of jury duty by faking it, if you can come across as emotionally unstable enough such that you cannot provide a fair and honest trial for the defendant, that is all you need. Neither the lawyers nor the judge have use for jurors they can't work with.

by Anonymousreply 14009/09/2013

I can tell you right up, this doesn't work:

by Anonymousreply 14109/09/2013

I agree with (R20) Just give negative remarks to whatever the case is about. If it's robbery, you were just robbed & think they should all burn in Hell, etc.

by Anonymousreply 14209/09/2013

Los Angeles County has totally got their jury duty system figured out. It's pretty much impossible to get out of now, but they make serving as pain-free as possible.

My last two experiences were typical: 3 years ago I had to call in the night before my first day. I was released right then and there.

Last month, I called in for three nights, then had instructions to show up the next day. I brought my laptop; the wireless internet was actually fast. Had a great lunch downtown and then was released without ever being empaneled.

And I found it interesting. Now that you really can't get out of jury duty, you really get a cross section of LA. When I served before the changes, the jury pool was mostly union workers, poor people, minorities, and retirees. Now it really is everybody.

by Anonymousreply 14309/09/2013

I've told this story before (maybe even on this thread, since it's a revived old one and I don't feel like reading the whole thing again), but fuck it.

I went through the jury selection process with Anderson Cooper, a few years before he became a household name (he was already in CNN, just not famous).

The case involved a Hispanic non-English speaking individual accused of stealing credit cards

Anderson got off because he was in the midst of an identity theft investigation in which he was the victim (imagine the idiot thief who decided he'd be called Anderson Cooper).

I got off because I spoke Spanish.

We both got off in the court's public bathroom.

OK, the last one's a lie. Though there was enough cruising back and forth (he does like his Spanish meat I guess)

by Anonymousreply 14409/09/2013

Easy for me. Social Workers are excused on the first pass every time. One side or the other gets rid of me at the drop of a hat.

by Anonymousreply 14509/09/2013

Don't vote.

by Anonymousreply 14609/09/2013

[quote] Don't vote.

Most states draw from both registered voter rolls AND state DMV records.

So just not voting anymore isn't enough.

by Anonymousreply 14709/09/2013

OP write a letter to the judge, telling about your work load and plans. ask to be excused this time, offer to be put into the pool for the next round. i did this, andd was granted a waive. haven't been recalled yet (3 years and counting)

by Anonymousreply 14809/09/2013

Lawyer here. Voir dire rules vary by state, but R144, you shouldn't have been dismissed on the basis of language alone. That's tantamount to a dismissal solely due to race or gender, which is explicitly prohibited per the Supreme Court's Batson decision. R146, voting may have nothing to do with it, either; some states cull venire rolls from driver's licenses.

Your best chance at avoiding a jury is, ironically, being a lawyer. The last thing either a prosecutor or defense attorney wants is another lawyer being hypercritical of their work, or worse, catching them fucking something up that the judge somehow misses. Your next best chance is by being, or at least claiming to be, a criminologist or sociology professor with a focus on criminal behavior. Just about every sociologist in that field believes that jail doesn't work for most crimes, period, and that recidivism can only be reversed by bona fide (and very expensive to the state) rehabilitation as opposed to incarceration. In other words, no prosecutor on Earth wants you anywhere *near* his jury.

Absolutely do NOT ignore a jury summons, unless you aren't worried about being called on it. I've seen one judge *literally* call you on it, as in telephoning each no-show juror in front of the rest of the jury pool asking why the fuck they weren't there (in nicer language, but about that kind of tone). Last time around with this guy, a couple of people let their cell phones go to voicemail; after listening to the judge's understandably pissed-off messages, they each called back within 45 seconds.

On the bright side, if you do get called try to remember that 98% of all jury trials are completed in three days or less, including voir dire.

by Anonymousreply 14909/09/2013

Same with lawyers, R145.

by Anonymousreply 15009/09/2013

I'm a military veteran with PTSD. I am receiving treatment at a VA hospital. I got a letter from my mental health therapist stating this which gave me a permanent exemption from jury duty.

by Anonymousreply 15109/09/2013

Where I live, the retired and unemployed people can't wait to volunteer to get picked because it's $40 a day.

by Anonymousreply 15209/09/2013

Lick your lips at the prosecutors - works every time

by Anonymousreply 15311/09/2014

Years ago, I worked as a legal assistant, both in NYC and SF. In NYC, got called once - in those days (80's) you had to commit to coming in each day for 2 weeks (or 1; they would often excuse after 1 week.) My employer paid, and I additional got $70 for my 5 days.

3 cases settled; the last one was a big-deal med malpractice; delivery-gone-bad, resulting in "a pathetic child" ("pathetic used almost "legally, medically"-sounding.)

4 attys in sharp suits, ambulance-chasers (i.e., representing plaintiff), one, taking the lead, gave his name, and I realized at my prior law firm, professional malpractice: we had represented him (tech., his insurance co) in 4 legal mal cases! Didn't want to embarrass him, so I raised my hand and I said I used to work for X employee at Y firm, so I'm SURE Mr. atty realizes why I can't serve. He got a little flustered, but I was excused.

SF: Got called 3-4 times; got lucky each time - part of a group dismissed in jury room; called but on telephone standby; one time - during voir dire, asked for an excuse, I said I worked at a firm that specialized in asbestos, the type of case being decided; got excused.

Finally (sorry; get a blog, I know!), disabled the past 6 years, and now back in hideous Northern NY State, I got a summons - got auto extension; got another summons - and the thing is, I would have had NO way of getting there! I don't drive anymore; don't have a car, and this courthouse is 30 miles away.

I'm mentally disabled. NOT "nuts", but (mild) bipolar. So just called the no. for Jury Commissioner; left a sobbing vmail (about being bipolar not about not driving!); nice, motherly woman called back, left a vmail, said she was taking me off "the list" permanently.

(of course, now that I have NO F---ING THING to do all day, would have been interesting to serve, hee-hee!

by Anonymousreply 15411/09/2014

Just drool, hunch your back and say, "Cops, it's always the cops. Too much power can drive a man MAD."

by Anonymousreply 15511/09/2014

My dad thinks he got disqualified at jury summons roll call last time.

Our surname is long and unusual. The attendance keeper struggled with it and said "I don't know how to pronounce this." My dad called out "I do." Everyone laughed. He was not selected as a jury member.

by Anonymousreply 15611/09/2014

I got called up for federal grand jury. Talk about turning your life upside down. Those things can go on forever. Also, got one for county service. Suffer from chronic back pain, so got a note from the doctor, permanently removed from both lists. Legitimate excuse since sitting for days on end is out of the question.

The bf got excused for changing his answers multiple times on the questionnaire. Too indecisive, they apparently don't want you. Scary thing is that I don't think he was faking it.

by Anonymousreply 15711/09/2014
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