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Straight guys discuss man hugging their guy friends;they seem obsessed about possible gay implications

Back slaps are mandatory. Straight guys may not hug unless they are hitting each other as well, that's how they keep the gay off.

I give them the ultimate man hug. I get real close and whisper in their ear, "Our dicks are touching." No homo.

Unless you're making out with them or trying to penetrate their anus I can't really think of a display of affection that would be classified as gay.

Man hugs make people uncomfortable that are unsure about themselves and their sexuality - mostly if you are under 25 and have not yet found out who you really are.

One of my friends is kind of sensitive and he does it.Another friend is the "No-homo" douche type and he don't like being touched.I'm right in the middle so I go both ways.

Generally a handshake will suffice, unless it's one of my guy friends mocking my homophobia.

I remember a comedian talking about how men always have to hit each other on the back while they hug. Something about counter-balancing the 'feminine' hug with masculine agression- "I'm huggin ya, but I'm hittin ya!"

by Anonymousreply 7512/30/2013

Straight guys are the most insecure group of people on the planet. Then again, I'm usually incline to think anyone insecure enough to refuse to hug, pee at a urinal, or be friends with a gay dude, probably is a closet case with a lot of baggage and something to prove. My straight male friends don't have a problem with me and they certainly don't mind a hug.

by Anonymousreply 108/14/2010

Sounds like your typical Canadian conversation.

by Anonymousreply 208/14/2010

I have a straight married friend who gives great hugs. I'm very close to him and his wife and I know he doesn't see any affectionate contact in a sexual way and I don't either. I love him like family and he loves me like family.

by Anonymousreply 308/14/2010

[quote]My straight male friends don't have a problem with me and they certainly don't mind a hug.%0D %0D They hug you like this?

by Anonymousreply 408/14/2010

Take notice, straight guys hug at the shoulders.

by Anonymousreply 508/14/2010

My personal favorite is when I see a guy at a urinal who is standing on kind of an angle so that any other guy who might happen to come in can't get a look at his penis.

by Anonymousreply 608/14/2010

[quote]Take notice, straight guys hug at the shoulders.%0D %0D Wha???%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 708/14/2010

I love that too R6. Or they go pee in the stall to avoid it altogether.

I was in grade school and jr high in the 80s...and back then it was the "pussies" and the "fags" who peed in the stall. It was considered manly to piss at the urinal.

Now these insecure straight fucksticks are just TERRIFIED that another man will see their penises.

Laughable.

by Anonymousreply 808/14/2010

I too have the same sort of friend R2, he and I have been very close throught the years. He is devoted to his wife and family but we have held each other and cried when something earth shattering has happened to one of us (Both have had calamities in our lives). We tell each other that we love one another...but it is understood that this isn't a sexual thing; just two very close friends. He knows that I am gay and he accepts me for who I am; the same with me accepting of his heterosexuality.

by Anonymousreply 908/14/2010

I know what you mean, R8. I'm probably a few years older than you, but I remember that way of school age thinking from that era.

by Anonymousreply 1008/14/2010

make that reference to R3, not R2

by Anonymousreply 1108/14/2010

R9, the I love you reference reminded me that we tell each other that when the occasion calls for it. It's also the same with his wife. I knew her first and then became friends with the husband. I'm actually closer to them than to the family I was born into.

by Anonymousreply 1208/14/2010

The correct way to hug a guy, if you are straight: You shake each other's right hands while at the same time embracing each other with the left around the other's back. The hug lasts as long as it takes to make contact and then there is immediate release. Also, groins must not be touching at any point in time. If you don't believe me, watch (unrelated) str8 guys hug.

by Anonymousreply 1308/14/2010

Jesus H. Christ, how fucking complicated does it have to be? All those ignorant ass rules. My straight friends don't give two shits about ANY of that stuff. We hug, we kiss (on the cheek) and are just NATURAL about it all. No thoughts about gay/straight "rules."

by Anonymousreply 1408/14/2010

I know a lot of straight guys for whom this isn't an issue. But, obviously for many it is.

There's an accepted straight guy hug - basically shake hands, lean in, head slightly over the other guy's shoulder, the clasped hands in between the bodies. Back slap often, but not always.

It's not a romantic or affectionate hug where the arms are around the persons body and the head is resting on the other person.

I see many guys do this without worrying about homo implications. But, again, I guess many do.

by Anonymousreply 1508/14/2010

R14, you know the very few extreme (nay radically) gay friendly straight guys in the country. They are in the less than 1%. Most straight guys do not hug, at all. In business they shake hands with other guys. In personal friendships, they usually don't touch at all or sometimes, IF they are life long friends or brothers, they friendly-punch the other guy when he is leaving. The pat on the back is sort of a rear version of the friendly-punch. Straight guys also DO NOT talk to others guys in the urinal, unless they are pissed drunk. Sometimes I wonder if some DLers have ever left NYC and met a genuine straight guy. Maybe these hugging and kissing guys are closet cases, still telling you they are straight. Straight guys do not hug or kiss other guys in North America. Sorry to ruin your fantasy.

by Anonymousreply 1608/14/2010

My straight guy employees used to hug me.

by Anonymousreply 1708/14/2010

[quote]Straight guys do not hug or kiss other guys in North America. Sorry to ruin your fantasy.%0D %0D You should get out of your mommy's basement. You'll find that you're so wrong.

by Anonymousreply 1808/14/2010

[quote]Straight guys also DO NOT talk to others guys in the urinal, unless they are pissed drunk. I don't talk to other guys at the urinal.

by Anonymousreply 1908/14/2010

Is this the new version of "white guys walk like this, but black guys walk like this" that we had to endure a billion variations on in the '90s? Now we're doing "straight guys hug like this, and gay guys hug like THIS"? Yay, they ARE beginning to accept us!

by Anonymousreply 2008/14/2010

1. Straight guys who hug and kiss other guys are called "Metro" which really means: will have sex with the right guy. 2. White Collar or Blue Collar makes a different. If you think you can pop down to the local truck stop, country music bar or rifle range and see straight guys hugging and kissing, you are on drugs (that's you R18 - stop spending so much time with Crystal and Tina).

by Anonymousreply 2108/14/2010

[quote]White Collar or Blue Collar makes a different. If you think you can pop down to the local truck stop, country music bar or rifle range and see straight guys hugging and kissing, you are on drugs%0D %0D Are those the bars you get your hillbilly heroin from R21?%0D %0D I stand by my statement.

by Anonymousreply 2208/14/2010

I was in Italy last month and really surprised by teenage boys kissing each other on both cheeks as they greeted each other on the bus, teenagers with arms around each other's shoulders, or arm in arm. Teenage boys in the US would NEVER do that.

by Anonymousreply 2308/14/2010

So do we think the guys @ r4 are gay?

by Anonymousreply 2408/14/2010

"Unless you're making out with them or trying to penetrate their anus I can't really think of a display of affection that would be classified as gay."%0D %0D How about air kisses? %0D %0D Or since there's no physical contact, is that manly now?

by Anonymousreply 2508/14/2010

I like the back-slapping

by Anonymousreply 2608/14/2010

[quote]Most straight guys do not hug, at all. In business they shake hands with other guys. *gasp* Really, R16? I think if I was attending a meeting and introduced to some business associates and one of the men leaned over and HUGGED me, I would not only think he was flaming gay, I'd think he was professionally retarded. And really, making sweeping pronouncements like 'STRAIGHT MEN DO NOT HUG' is not helping you come across as anything other than delusional. You and R21 really do need to get out more. You know, women don't hug every woman they meet, either. I would only do that with someone I felt very close to, so I would imagine it is the same for a lot of men. There's really no need to hug a casual acquaintance hello.

by Anonymousreply 2708/14/2010

This has become a "straight guys will have sex with another guy under the right circumstances" thread. Just like a gay porn movie.

by Anonymousreply 2808/14/2010

R16, I've heard another thing is that straight guys won't talk to each other while showering. I never understood that. Where do they think the gay connotations come in if you talk to a guy while urinating or showering? Or is it because they're just afraid that the other guy will try to sneak a peek at his penis?

by Anonymousreply 2908/15/2010

My experience is the exact opposite with the "chit-chat while peeing" phenomena. Gay guys NEVER chat with eachother while pissing. None of my gay friends do this, and at the gay clubs--when I go, which is rarely--guys stare straight ahead and don't say a word. The straight guys at work, however, are constantly chatting you up at the urinal with a "hows it going today" and "this new procedure we're supposed to do sucks" and "how is your work load lately" and blah blah blah. I just want to pee! And to the guy who posted that STRAIGHT GUYS DON'T HUG: Wrong. Straight guys who are secure with themselves have no problems hugging another dude--gay or straight. The guys with major hangups about ANY type of physical affection with another dude have something to hide usually. I usually think those guys are closet cases.

by Anonymousreply 3008/15/2010

"NYC straight" is not really straight. So, yeah I'm sure "secure straight guys" are always hugging other guys in NYC, well in Manhattan. I'm sure these NYC "heterosexual guy hugging guys" also like to dance and spend a ton of money on clothes too, you know because they are so secure about their heterosexuality.

by Anonymousreply 3108/15/2010

I'm a woman r13 and I hug some of my guy friends like that. I've seen other women around my age do the same. I wonder if it's a generational thing since I'm in my 20's and most of my guy friends are the same.

by Anonymousreply 3208/15/2010

"The straight guys at work, however, are constantly chatting you up at the urinal..."%0D %0D I have seen this occasionally, but I don't think it's the norm at all. If anything, straight men are pretty reticent at urinals, unless they're next to someone they feel [italic]really[/italic] comfortable with.%0D %0D I do agree, though, about never seeing any gay men talk to each other at urinals.

by Anonymousreply 3308/15/2010

Straight guys r the best cuz their dick is awsome

by Anonymousreply 3407/11/2012

[quote]My personal favorite is when I see a guy at a urinal who is standing on kind of an angle so that any other guy who might happen to come in can't get a look at his penis.

I do that. So many seedy DL types with compound eyes seeing every cock at the stall.

by Anonymousreply 3507/11/2012

I give air kisses to all my best buds. I especially like to lean in and compliment them on their fragrance. Then I'll hook my hand into the back pocket of their skinny jeans and we'll walk to the Pottery Barn.

by Anonymousreply 3607/11/2012

I'm gay and in my 20s and I hate to hug. Some people just like their personal space.

by Anonymousreply 3707/11/2012

[quote]Some people just like their personal space.

There's more facets to intimacy than your personal space, Carrie Brad.

by Anonymousreply 3807/11/2012

At my work straight guys who know each other talk at the urinal. At my gym they carry on with small talk in the showers.

by Anonymousreply 3907/11/2012

My best buddy is a Greek...had two failed marriages and tons of girlfriends. I'm his best friend and GAY. He USED to hug me lots...very affectionate..then has gotten weird...says "real men don't hug". He has left for Greece for several years and I cried...He said "only fags cry over friends". Is he a closet case?

by Anonymousreply 4008/12/2012

American str8 men are assholes.

by Anonymousreply 4108/12/2012

You can blame women for this: "Stop that. Did I marry a man or a girl? You're touching too long... quit!".

by Anonymousreply 4208/12/2012

you gays are really obsessed with straight men and women. why don't you stick to your own type? maybe the guy at the urinal is trying to shield his dick from prancing mary and her open mouthed gawking. have you ever thought you give off creep vibes?

by Anonymousreply 4308/12/2012

I'm gay and always have been out, and I don't like hugging. If we are not intimate, don't touch me. (Except for a handshake in an appropriate situation. If you must.)

by Anonymousreply 4408/12/2012

[quote]Straight guys also DO NOT talk to others guys in the urinal, unless they are pissed drunk.

They most certainly do. And I live in Texas. They will carry on inane conversations for the duration of the piss. They will also call people and talk on the phone while taking a shit.

Personally, I think it's disgusting, especially the talking on the phone while taking a shit. If I'm talking to someone on the phone and become aware that they're on the can, I will hang up the phone. Anyone who knows me knows this.

by Anonymousreply 4508/12/2012

Do women talk to each other through the stalls while they're doing their business?

by Anonymousreply 4608/12/2012

g

by Anonymousreply 4708/27/2012

I guess I'm lucky, but the presumably straight men I know in my life are always quick to hug. Occasionally a straight male friend will kiss me on the cheek...........I can be playful and somewhat touchy-feely with them and nothing is weird about it. With that being said, most of my friends aren't the macho-bravado jock type.

by Anonymousreply 4808/27/2012

R23, exactly. Very different in Europe and South America. Americans are uptight- they wear pants half an inch above their pubes with tats just so on their bellies and put towels over themselves as they dress in locker rooms. They are afraid to touch and hug- etc etc. It's our Puritanical/Victorian heritage. Of course not everyone is like this- certainly I know a lot of relaxed guys, gay and straight. But when you travel in Brazil or Italy (continental Europe; UK is a bit uptights as well) you get the idea pretty quickly.

by Anonymousreply 4908/27/2012

A truly straight guy, who knows who he is and what he wants will not have any hesitation about hugging another man, gay or straight.

---

It's only the guys, who call themselves straight or gay, with some sort of hidden issues, would normally have a problem hugging or kissing another man.

by Anonymousreply 5009/21/2012

lol all this hiding away when your peeing try holding each others theres a thin line betwween gay and jokes

by Anonymousreply 5111/16/2012

Men spend their whole time ACTING tough like they got backbone and rubbing it in other's guys faces when they are fucking hypocrites: hidden in a shell that's afraid to be supposed emasculated. Their fears get the best of them, and anything that ONE guy says is girly, they will believe that and it will spread on, so that's what they do. Im a gay guy so I would now

by Anonymousreply 5201/08/2013

The only thing this thread has told me is that Americans still think in terms of homosexual=bad, undesirable, abnormal, unnatural; heterosexual=good (or bad if your "bad" is "good"), "cool", desirable, NORMAL. The idea about "rules" for hugging indicate this just as there are supposedly "rules" for the ass smack in sports. If you do it too often or in a certain way you might be *gasp*--queer!

by Anonymousreply 5301/08/2013

[quote]Man hugs make people uncomfortable that are unsure about themselves and their sexuality

I'm quite sure about MY sexuality (Het). It's the other guy's that I take issue with. I'm under no obligation to touch a gay male, no matter what names I might be called for doing so.

by Anonymousreply 5401/09/2013

[quote]The only thing this thread has told me is that Americans still think in terms of homosexual=bad, undesirable

Bingo! Undesirable, not as a lifestyle, but simply someone that I, as a heterosexual, find unattractive and unappealing.

Do you like being touched or hit on by really, really ugly people? To a heterosexual, a homosexual is just like a really, really ugly, fat chick. Physically repulsive.

by Anonymousreply 5501/09/2013

[quote]Men spend their whole time ACTING tough like they got backbone and rubbing it in other's guys faces when they are fucking hypocrites: hidden in a shell that's afraid to be supposed emasculated. Their fears get the best of them, and anything that ONE guy says is girly, they will believe that and it will spread on, so that's what they do. Im a gay guy so I would now

Everything you say could apply to the way beautiful women view ugly, short, fat, old, creepy, *loser* men. Should those women be forced to hug those men? Is it "fear" of these men that rules female behavior, or simple disgust at what they see, and the thought it might be hitting on them?

Equality is one thing. Invasion of my personal space is quite another.

by Anonymousreply 5601/09/2013

[quote]Straight guys are the most insecure group of people on the planet.

Women call it sexual harassment when they wind up insulted for the "crime" of not being attracted to someone. This is dancing near that line.

[quote]Then again, I'm usually incline to think

Oh, dear.

[quote]...anyone insecure enough to refuse to hug, pee at a urinal, or be friends with a gay dude, probably is a closet case with a lot of baggage and something to prove.

Or he's just someone who is physically repulsed by the idea of having sex with men. Sometimes the "baggage" comes from having been the target of one or several closeted gays "orbiting" them, hoping to catch them vulnerable, all the while operating under the cloak of a presumption of heterosexuality. One could easily use your logic to say gays have issues when it comes to "normal" gender roles or relations with women.

How convenient of you to have a readymade insult for any man who won't let you watch him piss in a public urinal, hug you, or spend time with you as a friend.

[quote]My straight male friends don't have a problem with me and they certainly don't mind a hug.

Sampling bias: you're dealing with men who could be anything from ignorant and brainwashed, to naive, to closet cases themselves. Ignorance and brainwashing hits early, but boys usually break through that (some men are equally brainwashed not to go for women based on looks, or even to raise another man's child). Naive is when they just assume their friends are straight, usually until one makes a move on them or it becomes obvious they're gay. The closet cases are likely just testing the waters.

Having found out years or even decades after the fact that various males from my past (everything from bullies to teachers to friends) were gay, I speak from experience. The bullies wanted an excuse to touch me, the teachers were pervs, not concerned about my studies, and I had no problem with my closeted friends because they fed my ego, took more shit than my straight friends, were always around and available, willing to help with anything ("good friend" right), and it's just a LAZY way to avoid hitting on beautiful women, since some hard-up closet case isn't going to reject my invitation to hang out on a weekend.

Any gay who says he doesn't believe gay men ever prey upon straight men in this manner, is lying. Women have no problems with gay men because gay men don't hit on women. Not a fair comparison.

by Anonymousreply 5701/09/2013

[quote]A truly straight guy, who knows who he is and what he wants will not have any hesitation about hugging another man, gay or straight.

Just like only paranoid people have locks on their doors.

by Anonymousreply 5801/09/2013

[quote]My personal favorite is when I see a guy at a urinal who is standing on kind of an angle so that any other guy who might happen to come in can't get a look at his penis.

That you would notice this proves its need.

by Anonymousreply 5901/09/2013

Total false equivalency, r55. When attractive (or ugly, for that matter) women hit on me I enjoy it despite not having a sexual interest in them. It's a great compliment to be hit on by someone of incompatible orientation.

Besides, humans self-segregate when they decide who to hit on. If you are talking about repulsive people hitting on you then that's saying something.

by Anonymousreply 6001/09/2013

trolldar r59 and look at that bigot light up like a burning cross. Fucker, get the fuck out of here you piece of loser shit.

by Anonymousreply 6101/09/2013

Hugging is part of the culture in my area, the South. It is just something we do, especially at church.

by Anonymousreply 6201/09/2013

[quote]One of my friends is kind of sensitive and he does it.Another friend is the "No-homo" douche type and he don't like being touched.I'm right in the middle so I go both ways.

Oh yeah, I can see which way you're going, pal.

by Anonymousreply 6301/09/2013

There's a percentage of men who get all weird about this stuff because they're gay and can't admit it.

It's probably a small percentage, but it's there.

by Anonymousreply 6401/09/2013

"a small percentage"

Unfortunately not.

by Anonymousreply 6501/09/2013

[quote]they're gay and can't admit it.

Not a small percentage, a lot of them.

by Anonymousreply 6601/11/2013

Oh, dear. Someone needs to learn how to use the quote box.

by Anonymousreply 6701/11/2013

Straight people are annoying.

by Anonymousreply 6812/29/2013

R62: I am from the South, too, so I suspect that you a member of one of those evangelical Protestant denominations found so commonly throughout the Alabama, Georgia, etc. We do NOT hug in my church. You should not extrapolate broader meaning from your own narrow perspective.

by Anonymousreply 6912/30/2013

I agree with R66.

by Anonymousreply 7012/30/2013

This is one of those threads where I read the responses and it feels like everyone's been transported back to 1950 and their IQ dropped 30 points along the way.

I'm a gay male. I have straight male friends. We hug. Normal, platonic hugs where our bodies are relaxed and true affection is displayed.

It's 2013 and no one we know is fazed by this. We know homophobes and closet cases exist, but no one cares or thinks about such things.

None of this is all that new, either. I'm 45 and everyone in my family hugs, male or female.

by Anonymousreply 7112/30/2013

Straight male gay panic is SO tiresome.

by Anonymousreply 7212/30/2013

[all posts by tedious troll removed.]

by Anonymousreply 7312/30/2013

[all posts by tedious troll removed.]

by Anonymousreply 7412/30/2013

Fags hug, norms don't. That's like saying norms can fuck each other. No they can't otherwise they'd be fags.

by Anonymousreply 7512/30/2013
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