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Being Gay and Having Asperger''s Syndrome

For those who are gay and have Aspgerger's Syndrome, how has having Aspgerger's affected your "gay life"? How do you meet men, and what are your relationships like in both sexual and social terms with your dates and/or partners? What difficulties do you encounter as gay males with Asperger's?

by Anonymousreply 9108/04/2013

Up for Assburger's.

by Anonymousreply 307/04/2010

I don't have relationships. Guys can't put up with my weirdness. I jack off a lot to Xtube, etc. Occasionally when I'm in a big city I hire an escort. There are two in SF I use who are cool with my Asperger's and the weird tangents I can go on.

by Anonymousreply 507/04/2010

Rupert Everett owns this thread.

by Anonymousreply 607/04/2010

R5, good for you.%0D %0D I've been without sex for so long, I can't even work up the courage to hire an escort at this point.%0D %0D I jackoff to internet porn and porn I downloaded from torrents. And spend most of my time by myself these days.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 807/04/2010

R9 - I'm in NJ. I wish there was a group in the NYC area.

by Anonymousreply 1007/04/2010

What are the charateristics of Aspergers? disconect, and...

by Anonymousreply 1107/04/2010

R7, I don't really "get" what people mean by their look--the way the hold themselves or what's on their face. I am like a cat when I see certain patterns of light or shadow. I can get obsessed to the point of ignoring almost anything else, by the way a sheet drapes over a leg.

by Anonymousreply 1207/05/2010

I haven't had a date in years. I used to hook up with a guy who was older than me, he was cool but he never vocalized what he wanted from me so we just drifted apart. In general normal gay men scare me. They're all feeling and illogical behavior and that just doesn't sit well with me.

If I had more money I'd probably hire an escort too but I think that wouldn't go well either.

by Anonymousreply 1407/05/2010

I once went on a retreat long-weekend for gay men, and one of the guys had Asperger's. I don't see how he could have had a relationship with someone:

- he wanted to be near other people but not touched too much

- he had all these rules in his head about food (for example, it was VERY BAD if two foods on the plate touched each other). The retreat center staff tried to accommodate him but they must have been like "WTF?" in the kitchen... some of his requests were really strange

- he obsessed about fabrics especially tactile ones. He sent us a long email after the program, listing the moments of his weekend experience through the lens of a clothing/fabric fetishist.

by Anonymousreply 1507/05/2010

R15, sounds like he had a lot more going on than Asperger's. Like just plain OCD.%0D

by Anonymousreply 1607/05/2010

I have Asperger's and haven't had a relationship in years. One guy broke up with me precisely because of my unusual behavior and mannerisms. I have a very difficult time with social interaction and "small talk", as well as all the give and take that is part of a normal conversation.

On the positive side, if I become interested in something, I absorb every detail and analyze without emotion. Of course, the interest can become almost an obsession or fetish. I actually treat guys very well because I listen to them intently but the social interaction difficulties are usually what ends it. Also, my emotional needs are extremely limited. I want a guy for companionship and because of who he is, but not necessarily what he "does" for me emotionally.

by Anonymousreply 1807/05/2010

I also add that I when I fall for a guy, which is rare, I fall hard, part of the same obsessional behavior, but I don't even know what to do go out with him or even approach him. For example, I met a guy who I think is gay but I'm not 100 percent sure. We have some limited contact and mutual acquaintances, and I'd definitely like to get to know him better. I don't know whether to approach him directly about it the next time I see him, send him a message, try to find out more from our mutual acquaintances or have them try to set us up. Those first steps are the most difficult for me as I simply don't know what to do. It's almost like a social fog for me, or as if I'm from a different country or planet. Advice would be helpful.

by Anonymousreply 1907/05/2010

I always thought Glenn Gould was a gay with AS, but it turns out he wasn't gay.

by Anonymousreply 2007/05/2010

I meant r19, not r9.

by Anonymousreply 2207/05/2010

R19, here. I would find it very difficult to do what R21 does and ask a guy out directly because I wouldn't know about the social clues or whether I'm doing it correctly. I don't even know the words to use like, "Would you like to go out some time?" or, "Would you like to go to dinner?" I'm afraid my intentions would be misconstrued, as they were for R21, or that I wouldn't read the situation correctly.

For example, with the guy I'm interested now, we have had some nice times and shared quite a bit in a group situation, but none of our mutual acquaintances even know whether he's gay, and I've asked them. So I don't know how to approach him or even whether to do so.

by Anonymousreply 2307/05/2010

Thank you, r12.

by Anonymousreply 2407/05/2010

Up for some advice (I'm R19/R23). Thanks.

by Anonymousreply 2507/05/2010

Robotic, unemotional, unimaginative. Something is very off about these people.

by Anonymousreply 2607/05/2010

ASS BURGERS? Heh heh..

by Anonymousreply 2707/05/2010

But I don't think aspergers people have an emotional or artistic imagination. It's more along the lines of science and star trek if you ask me.

by Anonymousreply 2907/05/2010

There is no Asperger's. It's been subsumed under autism.

by Anonymousreply 3107/05/2010

Keanu Reeves owns this thread.

by Anonymousreply 3507/06/2010

Everybodys gotta have a label....

by Anonymousreply 3807/06/2010

I also add that I when I fall for a guy, which is rare, I fall hard, part of the same obsessional behavior, but I don't even know what to do go out with him or even approach him.%0D %0D %0D %0D Me too.

by Anonymousreply 3907/06/2010


You can't cure Autism. It's just something you live with.

by Anonymousreply 4007/06/2010

Well R36, there are mo magic drugs or treatments. There is some behavioural therapy that makes it easier for me to be in the work world, and letting people I work with know that Steve is different and what that means has been very helpful.

It isn't seen as a medical condition (at least not by my insurer).

by Anonymousreply 4207/07/2010

Would it be easier for a psychopath to con someone with Asperger's than to con someone who doesn't have Asperger's?%0D %0D I knew a married couple and I swear in hindsight, the guy had Asperger's and the woman was a psychopath. She drove him to two nervous breakdowns before he finally booted her ass to the curb.

by Anonymousreply 4307/07/2010

What meds do you take for Asperger's?

by Anonymousreply 4705/04/2012

R47, I don't think it's something you treat with meds.

by Anonymousreply 4805/04/2012

R50: that's very interesting.

Regarding career, I pursued a dead-end degree in college (fine art) and had absolutely no career path planned upon graduation. I had a vague idea of some administrative career in the arts, but I avoided doing the necessary legwork/networking that is mandatory for making that happen. I worked in an independent bookstore and temped to pay the bills. Temping worked well for me because I'm terrible at interviews.

by Anonymousreply 5205/04/2012

I would gladly be fuck buddy to a cute aspie gay! Nerds are so cute and I love quirky oddballs.

by Anonymousreply 5305/04/2012

Half of you cunts just think you have Asperger's. The rest might as well say they have Fibromyalgia.

by Anonymousreply 5405/04/2012

Remember, R54--there are some people out there who believe that your form of cruelty and ignorance should be culled from the human herd. Don't forget that. Okay? ;)

It's a new era.....

by Anonymousreply 5605/04/2012

I find it hard to believe RE as Aspie, not hard to believe KR.

by Anonymousreply 5705/04/2012

Aspergers is the "I desperately want to be different" syndrome.

by Anonymousreply 5805/04/2012


by Anonymousreply 6105/05/2012

Based on r44's post one sign of Asperger's is failure to separate lenghy messages by using paragraphs.

by Anonymousreply 6205/05/2012

Asberger's must be tough, but just try dating with Tourette's like I have, ASSHOLE FUCKER. Not that it sometimes doesn't help cut to the chase.

by Anonymousreply 6305/05/2012

i would love to have asperger's, it seems like one of the best of the 'isms'. it seems so exotic and makes my bipolar so pedestrian.

any pointers how i can pass the diagnosis? what to say/do?

by Anonymousreply 6405/06/2012

Most gay men have assburgers.

by Anonymousreply 6605/06/2012

A gay man should never admit he has ass burgers. Ever.

by Anonymousreply 7207/10/2012

[quote]They told me I have "high-functioning" Asperger's, which reflects the fact that I get obsessed with science and get pretty good at it ... which is probably why I became a lab tech many years ago. However, I have problems at work. Social situations with my co-workers get toxic and I don't even realize it's happening until they yell at me. I've managed to keep the same job for many years now, but my strategy has been when things get to be too much, I switch to a different shift and therefore a whole new set of co-workers. But I'm running out of shifts.

I find it suspicious that you are aware of your behavior. Almost bragging about it. Which makes me question the validity of assburgers.

[quote]I've managed to keep the same job for many years now, but my strategy has been when things get to be too much, I switch to a different shift and therefore a whole new set of co-workers.

This is called laziness.

by Anonymousreply 7307/10/2012

R71, If I were your doctor I would diagnose you with hypochondria and prescribe you therapy. You need to discuss your *need* to have disorders.

by Anonymousreply 7407/10/2012

Years and years of research and practice, R75.

by Anonymousreply 7607/10/2012

Lord the number of MDs with Asperger's would make your head spin.

Proceed with caution.

by Anonymousreply 7807/10/2012

I know a guy who has big time AS. He's just "odd". He will walk towards you staring at you silently. Then just as you're ready to say hello to him, he'll look away. He eats with his mouth open. He can't make small talk to save his life.

On the other hand, he's very good with numbers, doing multiplication and even long division in his head.

He's in charge of the cheese and wine department at our local Whole Foods, so he's doing okay for an Aspie.

by Anonymousreply 7907/10/2012

"On the positive side, if I become interested in something, I absorb every detail and analyze without emotion"

Sounds like Mitt Romney

by Anonymousreply 8007/10/2012

I rolled my eyes so hard they fell out of my skull at R79.

by Anonymousreply 8107/10/2012

Do you guys wash up?

I know that personal hygiene is an issue with Asperger's.

by Anonymousreply 8207/10/2012

Sometimes I wish I had Asperger's so I didn't have to feel so much pain.

I wish I could be happy in my own little self-centered existance where I had no compulsion to please anyone else. People-pleasing has been my downfall in life and Aspie's just don't play that game.

Also, I wish life would be as simple as getting a rush from touching flannel.

by Anonymousreply 8307/10/2012

On the scale of Modern-day signs of the Apocalypse here is the breakdown:

sociopaths--narcissists--asperger's--vanity--meth heads--celebrities--bad parents--school bus bullies--walmart shoppers--preachers--cat shit parasite.

In that order.

by Anonymousreply 8407/10/2012

Sometimes I wish I had Asperger's too, so I can tell everybody I have Asperger's.

by Anonymousreply 8507/10/2012

Hey Asperger's guys, SNAP OUT OF IT!

by Anonymousreply 8607/10/2012

Anyone know if Angie Dickenson's/ Burt Bacharach's poor daughter , Nikki, was a lesbian ? I read lots of stories of her isolating life, some by Angie, and seemed to remember her with a woman - but not sure.

by Anonymousreply 8707/10/2012

Ass burgers

lick da ass

by Anonymousreply 8807/10/2012

I get really nervous when doing sexual stuff with somebody. I've been with the same guy for almost 3 years, but I still get really nervous. It's frustrating because I don't want to make him think that I'm not attracted to him or anything. Then there are times where i start talking during sexual stuff, and i go on for ages and the mood just goes.

by Anonymousreply 9001/18/2013

I am gay with aspergers. I have never had a relationship in my life. I am 49 years old. I have 1 close friend who is not gay. I am alone most of the time. I don't like being around gay men and I have given up on finding love. I have also hired escorts a few times because I can't find anyone who I click with. I thought I was the only one like this...just reading this blog makes me feel a little better just knowing there are others out there like me. I am very alone...most of the time that's ok with me but I do crave human interaction and affection.

by Anonymousreply 9108/04/2013
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