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Few lesbians attracted to straight women, many gay men attracted to straight men...why?

I am a lesbian who very rarely finds a straight woman attractive. Yet, on DL, straight men are highly prized. I just don't get it.

by Anonymousreply 14512/09/2013

The dilusional GAY men on DL has this fantasy that they can convert straight men making them avandon vags for cock (since cock is much more tasty, according to their egos, and nobody in the world can like vaginas). It's that simple.

by Anonymousreply 106/24/2010

"Few lesbians attracted to straight women, many gay men attracted to straight men...why?"

What are you basing these generalizations on? I'm a lesbian and I'm usually attracted to straight or bi women.

by Anonymousreply 206/24/2010

Well, OP, I'm not sure. From my perspective, as a gay guy, I have to honestly say that I have met very few attractive lesbians. (I know, I know, there are some and I have met a few, but they seem to be few and far between.) I think lesbians may have different standards of attractiveness than straight men or women or gay men, for that matter. There seems to be a very small niche in society where lesbians seem to function and it seems far removed from everyone else.

by Anonymousreply 306/24/2010

I don't know that this is true. What is your source OP, DL?

I do know that all the straight men threads on DL are seriously dysfunctional and they are not remotely representative of my gay male peers.

by Anonymousreply 406/24/2010

[quote]Few lesbians attracted to straight women

According to who? You? LMFAO.

by Anonymousreply 506/24/2010

OP. Gay man here. I'm just guessing from a man's point of view and the litle I know about lesbians:

Women are looking for a relationship, and they know they're not going to have a relationship with a straight woman. However, men (gay or straight) are often looking for sex. So if there's a "straight" man willing to have sex with a gay guy, both men are more apt to take that opportunity at the moment--and not worry too much about forming a relationship.

by Anonymousreply 606/24/2010

Straight men threads are like the racebait threads. The OPs of them use the responses as jerk-off material.

by Anonymousreply 706/24/2010

Men are whores, they will fuck anything, the more the merrier.

Lesbians are more exclusive.

by Anonymousreply 806/24/2010



by Anonymousreply 906/24/2010

While this board definitely seems full to overflowing with gay guys who would push their grandmothers off a bridge if it meant they got to suck some disinterested straight guy's dick for five minutes, there are also plenty of lesbians who seem to make a life's work out of taking in crazy straight chicks. I think it's the same impulse that leads them to buy fixer upper homes and worry about stray cats. And while gay guys lusting after contemptuous and/or oblivious straight men at the gym might rate higher on the pathetic behavior scale, it's unlikely that those gay guys will ever underwrite some bipolar woman's home jewelry business, only to have her move out of the house in the middle of the night in order to be with some black guy from another state she met on the internet.

by Anonymousreply 1006/24/2010

There have been scientific studies done that women often like to be lusted after - being found attractive turns them on. Whereas men find visuals attractive, so the reactions of the object of affection isn't so important sexually.

thus men - like hot looking people.

women - like people who respond sexually to them.

So straight women like straight men, and rarely (exceptions of course) but rarely get really worked up over a gay guy.

Lesbians like other lesbians and rarely get worked up over a straight woman (unless they form a bond or friendship first with her).

Straight men like hot women.

Gay men like hot men.

by Anonymousreply 1106/24/2010

[quote]Men are whores, they will fuck anything, the more the merrier.

I got over that by the time I was 19. I'm 52 now, and celebrating 33 years of contented, manly monogamy.

by Anonymousreply 1206/24/2010

I am a straight woman generally, but the only women i have ever felt attracted to have been lesbians on occasion.

Not sure why.

Not sure if it's that swagger some lesbians have -that mix of warmth and coldness, the whole "hot dyke" thing.

Haven't acted on it, but that's my general mode.

by Anonymousreply 1306/24/2010

lmao @ r10

by Anonymousreply 1406/24/2010

Gays go after men they cant have.

by Anonymousreply 1506/24/2010

Because like women, gay men want to be 'receptive', and like straight men, lesbians do not want to be receptive.

by Anonymousreply 1606/24/2010

Not into straight women, myself (as in desiring them, unless they're they'd be flattered at the interest and not offended). I don't get being into someone who wouldn't be attracted to your OR pleased about your interest in them.

by Anonymousreply 1706/24/2010

Oh and I'm without a preference (not for politically correct reasons, I just like people outside of what would be included in the word "bi"). On DL that distinction may matter, not sure.

by Anonymousreply 1806/24/2010

R10- you funny!

R11- you sum me up perfectly- as a bi-women, I'm into those that are into me- straight guys who are cute/ funny and crush on mostly strong/ nurturing gay women.

by Anonymousreply 1906/24/2010

Charlie makes me long for the days of Kirker... At least Kirker had a naive sweetness to his braggadocio.

by Anonymousreply 2006/24/2010

Lesbians like to pretend that they are too deep to care about appearances. In truth they are the easiest mark in the world for a twenty-one year foxy straight lady saleslady.

by Anonymousreply 2106/24/2010

[quote]Lesbians like to pretend that they are too deep to care about appearances

I wonder why?

*3 seconds later*


by Anonymousreply 2206/24/2010

R10 truly deserves wit and wisdom. Very funny and true.

by Anonymousreply 2306/24/2010

R22 There are goodlooking and feminine lesbians, you know.

by Anonymousreply 2406/24/2010

There have been scientific studies done that women often like to be lusted after - being found attractive turns them on. Whereas men find visuals attractive, so the reactions of the object of affection isn't so important sexually.

>>> Was it based on sexual orientations also? The study I've read about found that lesbians and all men were turned on visually. Straight women weren't. I tend to believe that study more.

by Anonymousreply 2506/24/2010

A good number of gay men lust after masculinity.

And many straight men are very masculine.

Therefore, gay men lust after those straight men.

by Anonymousreply 2606/24/2010

According to those studies, all the straight women that send me pics of hot guys via email(they don't know I'm a lesbian) are really men.

by Anonymousreply 2706/24/2010

I guess I'm one of the few lesbians that find some straight women attractive.

by Anonymousreply 2806/24/2010

I don't nec. buy your premise, OP.

I have lesbian friends who worship some straight female celebrities, Scarjo and Linda Eder come to mind as two women who two separate lesbian friends are gaga over.

However, looking at your question in a different light, simplistic stereotypes in all, one might be tempted to say its because there is a cult of masculinity that many lesbians and gay men attach to sexual attraction. But by this answer, I don't mean to argue that all lesbians are butch, all straight women femme, all lesbians attracted to the butch rather than the femme, all straight men butch, all gay men femme, all gay men attracted to the butch. I only mean to imply that your question seems to be based in the flawed sense that these rules operate.

by Anonymousreply 2906/24/2010

Put it this way, lesbians aren't attractive by gay male standards. I prefer my women to be normal weight and normal looking, not on the verge of starvation and looking like a combination B&D hooker and a poodle at Westminster.

Gay men, like straight men, are all about scoring, and making a conquest of a straight man means more points. Lesbians are somewhat more likely to see potential sex partners as human beings.

by Anonymousreply 3006/24/2010

[quote]Put it this way, lesbians aren't attractive by gay male standards.

And the standards of most people, for that matter.

by Anonymousreply 3106/24/2010

Too true, r31.

by Anonymousreply 3206/24/2010

Stereotyping much?? There are attractive lesbians. How do you explain Gabriela Sabatini?? The tennis sex symbol of the 80's/90's??

by Anonymousreply 3306/24/2010

And yet, OP, so-called straight women play around with other women suddenly and miraculously all the time.

by Anonymousreply 3406/24/2010

And Portia de Rossi of Sirens fame.

by Anonymousreply 3506/24/2010

Masculinity is what is viewed as the most desireable trait in men in our world. Masculinity is what makes men hot, so the world says. Therefore, people who are attracted to men are attracted to masculinity. Because straight men are GENERALLY more masculine in appearance, interests, and demeanor, they are more likely to be thought of as attractive by people who are attracted to males than gay men, especially openly gay men who have attributes associated with gay culture (Diva worship, nonathletic, lighter voice, emotive, artistic).

by Anonymousreply 3606/24/2010

I know plenty of lesbians attracted to straight women. Two of my lesbian friends crush on my sister. One of them actually propositioned her!

by Anonymousreply 3706/24/2010

Yep, R35. Portia Rossi is another choice. I have lesbian friends who are the ultimate hetero male fantasy. The thing is people don't see them as lesbian because the don't fit the fat butch lesbian stereotype that wears flannels and cargo pants. People realize they are gay when they show up with their partners.

by Anonymousreply 3806/24/2010

[quote]are the ultimate hetero male fantasy.

Ewww. Why would you crave that? Do you crave male approval? How pathetic!

by Anonymousreply 3906/24/2010

[quote]I got over that by the time I was 19. I'm 52 now, and celebrating 33 years of contented, manly monogamy.

you're the exception, not the rule. nearly EVERY straight guy I know is terribly jealous of gay men and how much sex they have and wish that they could too.

by Anonymousreply 4006/24/2010

speak for yourself Op! I am attracted to pretty, femme girls most of whom sadly are straight

by Anonymousreply 4106/24/2010

r40 LMAO! YOU are delusional

by Anonymousreply 4206/24/2010

Straight women hit on gay guys all the time, they figure if they only could meet the right girl........ It starts with "be my gay friend and lets talk about girl stuff" and ends with "the groping hand" Its freaking insane sometimes...... So much so, that one of the pickup lines straight guys use is telling chicks they are gay but curious if the right girl came along (who is whom ever they are saying this to).

by Anonymousreply 4306/24/2010

every lezzie i know that like 'em femme, has a straight girl crush problem. you couldn't be more wrong, OP.

by Anonymousreply 4406/24/2010

Yes, R39! I flirt with men. The funny thing is when they don't get what they want!

by Anonymousreply 4506/24/2010

You're dilusional, R42! Thinking that every guy in the world wants cock!

by Anonymousreply 4606/24/2010

R43, maybe you are much hotter than I am, but I can assure you that as a 25-year-old non-mutant who lives in New York, I am not having to fight off the unwelcomed advances of lecherous straight women.

I would say that there is a propensity, however, held by some young gay men and their straight lady friends to play act at lewd behavior, especially when drinking is involved, because it allows them both to blow some "naughty" steam off in a non-threatening and risk-free scenario.

No straight men, outside of hackish Hollywood rom-coms, claim to be gay in order to pick up chicks. Women generally aren't dying to sleep with male bisexuals.

by Anonymousreply 4706/24/2010

I think R40 means straight men wish they had the AMOUNT of sex with women that gay men have with men.

by Anonymousreply 4806/24/2010

[quote]The funny thing is when they don't get what they want!

Riiiight. I'm sure they get exactly what they want. I bet you ride like a're even more pathetic than I thought you were.

by Anonymousreply 4906/24/2010

[quote]Women generally aren't dying to sleep with male bisexuals.

Why not?

by Anonymousreply 5006/24/2010

[quote]I think [R40] means straight men wish they had the AMOUNT of sex with women that gay men have with men.


by Anonymousreply 5106/24/2010

Do they really drive the majority of Subarus?

by Anonymousreply 5206/24/2010

You're more pathetic thinking that all lesbians should be fat, butch and ugly. I'm a woman who likes to be a woman (and who also likes women). The thing is that I don't want to emulate a dude, wear an strap on, cargo and flannels. Get it??

by Anonymousreply 5306/24/2010

R4 charlie, you must have some amazingly well adjusted friends because I think DL is typical 35-55 gay male. Lost and struggling with themselves. Stylish and good looking maybe...but lost.

by Anonymousreply 5406/24/2010

Oh, now you're just a screeching, incoherent harpy r53. Do try harder, dear.

by Anonymousreply 5506/24/2010

That doesn't change the fact that you're a bitter queen who hates women. Did you start the Jessica Simpson thread??

by Anonymousreply 5606/24/2010

OP, it's about surfaces. Males are more drawn to surface attributes. Definitely to looks, but also to archetypes. Women are more drawn to character.

Gay men who lust after straight men aren't lusting after their straightness. They are lusting after a more emotionally distant style of masculinity.

by Anonymousreply 5706/24/2010

[quote]Gay men who lust after straight men aren't lusting after their straightness. They are lusting after a more emotionally distant style of masculinity.

R57, I am fascinated by your comment(and I'm not disagreeing with you). Can you expand on this please? I think you hit onto something in a rather concise way, but there is a ton that could be said about it.

Please continue with your thoughts on this :)

by Anonymousreply 5806/24/2010

Masculinity is even attractive to straight men. Most mancrushes are for dudes that are ubermacho archetypes. Even straight guys are drawn to Alpha Males. Straight women are very often too.

by Anonymousreply 5906/24/2010

Gay men covet and lust after the masculinity of some straight men - the masculinity which some of the gay men do not possess

by Anonymousreply 6006/24/2010

This is the epitome of 'masculine' to me:

by Anonymousreply 6106/24/2010

We live in a society that exalts masculinity, degrades femininity, especially in men. There is no wonder that guys who have ultramasuline attributes, physical and nonphysical, are idealized and the object of desire.

by Anonymousreply 6206/24/2010

r43 has been watching way too many bromantic sitcoms. Straight men don't use that trick in real life because they know it doesn't work. Although, many straight women find themselves initially attracted to gay men, once they learn he is gay the attraction usually dissipates.

by Anonymousreply 6306/24/2010

So it's only because of the TV and isn't an innate reaction?

by Anonymousreply 6406/24/2010

Straight men try to emulate the masculinity of those alpha men, R59. They don't find it attractive, they want to HAVE it to score WOMEN not men. It's related with the desire of procreation. To R60, there are masculine gay men and straight men that are not that masculine.

by Anonymousreply 6506/24/2010

How do you explain all those girls screaming for Ricky Martin and Michael Jackson, R62.

by Anonymousreply 6606/24/2010

R58, for a while I was doing hookups on Craig's List. There is a subset of ads from people who are looking for "straight" and "bi" and "married" men. What to do?

Well, I could laugh at the absurdity of it -- like they're gonna find a "straight" guy in the "men seeking men" section, right? -- or I could ask myself what they're really after.

I bought myself a second hand wedding band at a pawn shop, and answered a few of the ads for married guys. (I'm one of those guys who has sometimes had people flatly refuse to believe I'm gay, because I'm too "standard masculine.")

What one of those guys is looking for is someone who is masculine in the traditional archetype. Deeper voice, masculine looks, all that shit, plus not as emotionally "connected" as a lot of gay guys are.

It's hard to put this into words, but a lot of gay men are such open books from the start, and when you put it together with some stereotypical mannerisms you get something that a lot of guys aren't into for sex. For friendship, yeah, but not for hardons.

It's not that they want "straight." It's that they want a rougher edge, less gushing, and less complication in the interaction.

Christ, if I was a whore I could make serious dough as a "str8 guy" who'll "let" other guys suck his dick. It didn't take real long until I lost interest in the whole thing. I'm into masculine gay guys, and eventually I found one so I'm off the market.

But the "str8 guy" pose was kinda interesting. If nothing else, you get connected to what guys REALLY WANT as opposed to the shit they're supposed to want. News flash, the two are rarely the same.

by Anonymousreply 6706/24/2010

[italic] I think DL is typical 35-55 gay male[/italic]

Sounds like projection to me, or maybe you have really fucked up friends?

DL is like bizarro world in my view, especially when it comes to the topics of gender and sexual identity.

I'm 41 and friends with probably 2-3 dozen gay men between the ages of 25 and 55. I've never heard any of them express anything but the most superficial attraction to straight men (cops, construction workers...basically anyone The Village People parodied). We might comment on a random straight guy on the street, or tease a straight gal friend about her hot new beau, but no one actually pursues straight men, and certainly not to the exclusion of gay men.

Wait, scratch that, I know exactly ONE deluded old queen who lusts for them; he's over 50, dresses like he's 21, and is a raging alcoholic. We're not friends, though.

by Anonymousreply 6806/24/2010

So do you think the guy went insane with glee when he saw the fake wedding ring?

by Anonymousreply 6906/24/2010

Video footage of the guy reacting to the wedding ring:

by Anonymousreply 7006/24/2010

Straight women with the baggage of a husband (or ex or boyfriend) and children just don't appeal to me. Also, I'm not interested in a woman who will potentially go back to men after her curiosity has been met. Especially when the woman is beyond the early 20's. After that, she's probably looking to fill a void left in her marriage and wanting to experiment, which I'm not interested in. I do agree that most straight women seem more attractive but that's because they've had it beat into their brains to be made up and appealing to the opposite sex. I think lesbians just live their lives without caring about what people think. I do think that the more masculine lesbians could maybe try a little harder to look a little better but I prefer the feminine lesbians so whatever.

by Anonymousreply 7106/24/2010

r68, you must not get out much nor pay attention to the Straight Guy for Straight Guy phenomena on the internet, from Craigslist, Adam4Adam, Jockbod, to fans of all male porn. It's not a new nor isolated thing, ya know.

by Anonymousreply 7206/24/2010

No, R69, it took longer than that. But some of 'em sure as hell liked the whole act. One guy said, "Your dick [italic]tastes[/italic] straight." Part of me wanted to laugh, but another part of me knew exactly what he meant. People here will cast their judgments, but if someone is in fuckin' [italic]heaven[/italic], hell, why not go for the illusion?

by Anonymousreply 7306/24/2010

R72, I get out plenty. As in outside, interacting with real people, face to face.

How laughable are you, claiming I "don't get out much", then citing internet poseurs on hookup sites as evidence of your more wordly experience. I think it's you that needs to get out more, get some fresh air, and stop being so gullible that you believe men who troll internet hookup sites claiming to be "straight" while seeking other men for sex. Get a grip.

by Anonymousreply 7406/24/2010

How sad is r72?

by Anonymousreply 7506/24/2010

Do you actually think there are more men who are attracted to men that are well-adjusted, openly gay and oriented-attracted to other openly gay men than there are guys on the DL, on the internet, secretly bisexual, straight-identified men who are attracted to men, and otherwise not a part of the gay community?

by Anonymousreply 7606/24/2010

I hate to say it. But the guys who identify as straight OR bisexual seem more masculine. Even on Craigslist, the guys who say they are straight or bisexual have a much more masculine demeanor than those who say they are gay. I am not just talking their online persona. I am talking about dudes I have met and hung out who identify as straight or bisexual.

by Anonymousreply 7706/24/2010

Who can possibly say, r76? You're basically asking if there are more openly gay men than closet cases. Since neither group has ever been accurately measured (and the closet cases, by their nature, probably never will be), no one can say. But claiming most gay men really want to be with a straight guy is a smidge absurd, at least to anyone who actually interacts with other gay men on a personal (and not exclusively sexual) level.

In other words, sure, if all the gay men you know are guys you meet online, in bathhouses, or in clubs at 3am, you're going to encounter a high rate of really fucked up gay men. But they're not representitive of all gay men everywhere.

by Anonymousreply 7806/24/2010

I hit on straight women all the time and they just don't get it. They smile, giggle, blush and go "oh you're so dirty"

by Anonymousreply 7906/24/2010

It's about masculinity. Gay men and haterosexual males are largely masculine by nature. It's the socialization which separates many gay men and haterosexual males. While haterosexual males socialize with other males almost exclusively growing up and LEARN all these other masculine characteristics, many gay men socialize with girls and adopt some characteristics of females. It's the LEARNED masculine characteristics (masculine-sounding voice, walk, personality, attire) that attract gay men. Gay men can also learn these masculine characteristics.

What's ironic is these gay men who see haterosexual males as the gatekeepers of masculinity get thrilled when they go to plays or use mosturizer. These haterosexual males are seen as enlightened. Some gay men are dumb, they can't think on their own, they parrot everything haterosexuals think. Which is why for some they can never see a masculine gay man because haterosexuals believe you can't be masculine and gay.

by Anonymousreply 8006/24/2010

[quote]What's ironic is these gay men who see haterosexual males as the gatekeepers of masculinity get thrilled when they go to plays or use mosturizer.


by Anonymousreply 8106/24/2010

More Straight Men have Gay sex than "GAY" men

A recently published survey done in New York City [1] found that 3.7% of men aged 18 and above identified themselves as gay.

This figure is lower than the usual figures gay activists use. They tend to say 10%. I myself have generally said, for some years now, that probably 6 – 7% of men are exclusively homosexual, that is, they have no real attraction to or interest in sex with females.


Compared to the 10% claim, the 3.7% figure seems rather closer to the figure generally used by Christian fundamentalists who lead most anti-gay campaigns in America and elsewhere, including Singapore. They tend to claim that only 1 – 2% of men are gay, with the subtext that it is an inconsequential minority for which state and society need not make any allowance.

But wait.

The same New York City survey also asked respondents how many sex partners they have had in the previous 12 months and whether the sex partners were male or female. It turned out "87.5% of men... exhibited exclusively heterosexual behavior and 12.5% demonstrated exclusively homosexual behavior." [2]

"Among men who have sex with men, 72.8% identified as straight."

These included married men [3]. "In our sample," the report pointed out, "10% of married men reported same-sex behavior during the preceding year."

The Community Health Survey set out to investigate the sexual behaviour of New Yorkers in an attempt to understand the patterns of potentially risky behaviour that might expose people to HIV and AIDS. One of the reasons why the researchers wanted to ask people how they identified themselves sexual-orientation-wise was because other studies had found a significant discordance between declared sexual orientation and sexual behaviour. The researchers in this study wanted to see how large this discordance was.

A big part of public policy and HIV prevention efforts are directed towards "gay men", but what if most people who were having gay sex don't see themselves as "gay"? Are they missing out on health education and testing programs?

And that's exactly what the New York study found, except that now that they have gone out specifically to put a number to the discordance, it's turned out to be larger than most anticipated. As mentioned above, there were more straight men having gay sex than gay men!

Conducted between March and August 2003, it was a large survey, with 9,802 residents participating. Of these, 4,193 were men.

Of these 4,193 male respondents, about 69% (2,898 men) provided answers to both the sexual orientation and sex behaviour questions (and reported at least 1 instance of sex in the previous 12 months), enabling the researchers to cross-tabulate. Those who reported no sexual activity were left out. Despite the attrition rate, 2,898 participants is still a very large sample. The demographic profile of these 2,898 was checked against that of the 1,295 who didn't answer one or both questions, and was found to be similar. The attrition therefore did not result in any demographic bias.

by Anonymousreply 8206/25/2010

YAY! For the proliferation of hypocresy and closet cases!!

by Anonymousreply 8306/25/2010

why are there more BUTCH looking/acting lesbians than LIPSTICK lesbians?

by Anonymousreply 8406/25/2010

[quote]why are there more BUTCH looking/acting lesbians than LIPSTICK lesbians?

Oh, the LL ones usually retire to suburbia with her penis after a certain age.

by Anonymousreply 8506/25/2010

R84 for the same reason there are more soft gay men than masculine gay men.

by Anonymousreply 8606/25/2010

Because they just don't go with a huge rainbow flag around R84. You assume they're straight.

by Anonymousreply 8706/25/2010


by Anonymousreply 8806/26/2010

[quote] "Gays go after men they cant have."

Sweetie, you don't live in MANhattan.

by Anonymousreply 8906/26/2010

OP, you've based your conclusions about lesbians based solely upon your experience. Quite the narcissist, aren't you? And everything you know and surmise about gay men you get from Datalounge? Yet, you lack the intellectual capacity to realize that not only does Datalounge not represent all gay men, but the most by a couple of prolific trolls you've fixated on don't even represent Datalounge?

So, aside from being a troll wanking it's way to the hundred or whatever posts will get you off, surely you must also take us to be as stupid as your cunt makes you, right? Or is it your incontinent "muss-he?"

by Anonymousreply 9006/26/2010

"Although, many straight women find themselves initially attracted to gay men, once they learn he is gay the attraction usually dissipates."

Ah... sorry NO R63. Believe me, I wish that were true, but NO, not even in the ball park.

by Anonymousreply 9106/27/2010


by Anonymousreply 9206/27/2010

seriously I find this too, most lesbians actually dislike straight girls, but gay men love the straight ones more than their own kind

by Anonymousreply 9308/13/2012

Gay men are more accepted than lesbians, and this impacts on the difference. So do fingernails. Straight womyn have talons that hurt the vagina.

by Anonymousreply 9408/13/2012

As a lesbian, I have to disagree. I cannot stand the butch stereotype. I have dated straight women for years, (I know, they aren't so straight). My last girlfriend was gorgeous, looked just like the female comedian Angela Johnson. I was with her for 3 years. She is with a man now, but that's ok. It was fun while it lasted. I just don't care for the manly women, they all look the same to me. Call me shallow, I like the pretty ones. I honestly think it's natural that gay women like femmes and gay men like manly men. The stupid cliche "If I wanted a man, I'd date a man" applies to me. No offense intended, to each his own.

by Anonymousreply 9508/13/2012

I'm femme, and am attracted to feminine looking women. Sometimes they are gay, often they are not.

by Anonymousreply 9608/13/2012

OP, my lesbian friends are attracted to women, not straight women, not gay women, but women. By definition. And women includes women of all sexual orientations.

Now, why are gay men often attracted to straight men. Because gay men are attracted to men. Men includes straight men. And often - but not always, thank goodness - masculine men are either straight or closeted.

by Anonymousreply 9708/13/2012

Many gay men come across as highly competitive with straight women. I think that is one of the reasons for the attraction and ever-present fantasy about "turning" a straight guy.

by Anonymousreply 9808/13/2012

I'm bi, and I'm only attracted to straight women, which is a big problem. I've found a few soft butch women attractive, but I am less attracted to women who look like men. If I want to fuck someone who looks like a guy, then I'll fuck a guy. I have never understood women who say they're attracted to women, but they like sleeping with those who look like men.

I think I may be a bit unusual, because even though I like both sexes, I really feel I was born into the wrong body. It's caused me a lot of depression in my life.

by Anonymousreply 9908/13/2012

I'm a bi woman who is never attracted to butchy lesbians. The less lesbian they look or act, the better.

It goes both ways OP.

by Anonymousreply 10008/13/2012

I don't know what circles you all run in, but the lesbians I know generally look pretty decent -- quite cute, even -- and do not conform to the ultramasculine stereotype you are mentioning.

I am a presentable lesbian who occasionally admires good-looking straight women and finds them attractive, but is wary of anything deeper. In my experience they tend to make trouble. Also for something more long-term a fellow lesbian seems like a better bet.

Some straight women annoy me around men, it's like their voice goes up an octave and their brains disappear into thin air.

by Anonymousreply 10108/13/2012

If you're moderately attractive and have straight friends, don't act like a total queen and they know you like dick, but TELL them you're not interested in ass, you have like a 90% chance of doing SOMETHING with them - sucking, mutual j/o, etc. I don't know why DL say this is a "myth" - have you never hung with straight guys? they're JUST like us. MEN are MEN. in all honestly, i'm almost 30 and i've come to the realiztion that the line between gay and straight is blurry if not entirely nonexistant. it's just culture that makes guys say they're 'straight'

by Anonymousreply 10208/13/2012

I meant to say...I COULDN'T be less attracted to women who look like men.

by Anonymousreply 10308/13/2012

I really disagree with you OP. I wish I knew some 100% gay men in Vegas, so I could just hang out without being hit on.

by Anonymousreply 10408/13/2012

You've missed the obvious,

Straight Women are obsessed with Gay men. Sexually and emotionally.

by Anonymousreply 10508/14/2012

So R102, how many women have you had sex with lately?

by Anonymousreply 10608/14/2012

R105, Don't know if your comment was directed at me, R104, but if it does then it doesn't make any sense. By definition gay men aren't interested in sex with women, otherwise they would be at least bi, right?

by Anonymousreply 10708/14/2012

Seriously, R102, how many women have you been with lately?

by Anonymousreply 10808/14/2012

I'm a lesbian and I'm always attracted to straight women. I don't actually know many lesbians. I don't mind butch looking women as long as they're well presented and not overweight. I don't go for typical straight women with long hair and high heels. I prefer the older professional woman who power dresses. It's always a disappointment to me to find out they like men. Damn waste.

by Anonymousreply 10908/14/2012

Nor will you ever get it, OP. Straight men are authentically masculine, which is their allure. Gay men are like straight women, we primarily seek out authentic masculinity. Gay women are like straight men, they like lesbians...

by Anonymousreply 11008/14/2012

[quote]Straight men are authentically masculine

This is hilarious.

by Anonymousreply 11108/14/2012

Many, many straight men are not "authentically masculine" at all, which is why they're so quick to delineate "masculine" and "feminine." They're terrified about being thought of as "girly" or having "girly" interests. They're insecure and expend a lot of effort trying to conform to some macho ideal. If they were truly masculine, they wouldn't give a shit.

by Anonymousreply 11208/14/2012

I'm a bisexual woman who is only really attracted to dykey-with-a-soft-side women, and to gentle-with-an-edge straight men.

by Anonymousreply 11308/14/2012

Most of the gays that make an issue of seeking out masculine straight man were kids that were bullied and made fun for being gay. They don't grow up and spend the rest of their lives trying to please that HS bully/absent father figure.

Truly masculine man don't care about how masculine they come off, and they don't care about how masculine other men are. That's what makes them masculine, that they are completely comfortable and proud of themselves without having to knock others down. That's why closeted straight-acting guys are the most femme men you'll ever meet. They are not comfortable or proud of themselves so they lie.

by Anonymousreply 11408/14/2012

Hyper-masculinity is a turn-off.

by Anonymousreply 11508/14/2012

Exactly R114 - And real straight men are masculine NATURALLY, the definition of "truly". They don't HAVE to try or "act", they just are - thus the allure. I'm not talking about hyper-masculine posers like meat market douchebags and Jersey Shore cartoon characters - I'm talking about guys that are straight, and comfortable in their skin. That's extremely hot to gay man. It's true, no matter how much you wish to talk it away or try to intellectualize it. There are gay men like this too - but there's always some little trigger that lets out their inner teenage girl, shattering the ILLUSION.

by Anonymousreply 11608/14/2012

[quote]real straight men are masculine NATURALLY...

This made me 'lol'.

by Anonymousreply 11708/14/2012

"There are gay men like this too - but there's always some little trigger that lets out their inner teenage girl, shattering the ILLUSION."

Nah, that's you projecting. The only "masculine" gay men I've met that had an inner teenage girl inside are usually the ones that live in gay ghettoes. Most truly masculine gay men are NOT part of the gay scene which is all about worrying about how you come off.

by Anonymousreply 11808/14/2012

LOL I am femme and most of my femme friends and I LOVE straight acting or straight or bi chicks. Love women, not bulldykes

by Anonymousreply 11908/14/2012

r95, nails it!

by Anonymousreply 12008/14/2012

r94, lol lesbians are WAY more accepted by straight culture

by Anonymousreply 12108/14/2012

r93, yeah the bull dykes do! They also resent lipstick lesbians because we find them repulsive

by Anonymousreply 12208/14/2012

R110/116 self loathing, rightwing shitstain who supports chicfila.

by Anonymousreply 12308/14/2012

[all posts by flame bait troll #11 removed (violent racist homophobic right-wing misogynist), ISP notified with full text of all posts.]

by Anonymousreply 12409/29/2013

[all posts by flame bait troll #11 removed (violent racist homophobic right-wing misogynist), ISP notified with full text of all posts.]

by Anonymousreply 12509/29/2013

[all posts by flame bait troll #11 removed (violent racist homophobic right-wing misogynist), ISP notified with full text of all posts.]

by Anonymousreply 12609/29/2013

R10 was funny, except for the racist part.

by Anonymousreply 12709/29/2013

[all posts by flame bait troll #11 removed (violent racist homophobic right-wing misogynist), ISP notified with full text of all posts.]

by Anonymousreply 12809/29/2013

Maybe not straight women, but I am certainly attracted to bisexuals.

by Anonymousreply 12909/29/2013

...because men are hoes. and gay men are delusional hoes.

by Anonymousreply 13009/29/2013

I'm a lesbian, and I like straight women. I don't mind a bit of a tomboy, but butch women, no. To me there is nothing sexy about a woman who dresses in men's clothing, walks around like she's getting ready to scratch her balls. I can't help it, I'm gay. Women are sexy to me. To each their own though.

by Anonymousreply 13109/29/2013

[all posts by flame bait troll #11 removed (violent racist homophobic right-wing misogynist), ISP notified with full text of all posts.]

by Anonymousreply 13209/29/2013

[quote][R94], lol lesbians are WAY more accepted by straight culture

No. Just. No. They aren't. And they're not most accepted in queer culture, either.

by Anonymousreply 13309/29/2013

[all posts by flame bait troll #11 removed (violent racist homophobic right-wing misogynist), ISP notified with full text of all posts.]

by Anonymousreply 13409/30/2013

[all posts by flame bait troll #11 removed (violent racist homophobic right-wing misogynist), ISP notified with full text of all posts.]

by Anonymousreply 13509/30/2013

Portia DiRossi is the only lesbian that I would be attracted to in a sexual way.

Ellen , no way, same with Rosie, Melissa, K.D. Lang, etc.


by Anonymousreply 13609/30/2013

I'm a femme lesbian who's usually only attracted to straight / bisexual women.

I'm not self-loathing / in the closet / a man-hater. I'm simply attracted to femininity. And most card-carrying lesbians are naturally on the butch scale. It's not just about appearances - it's behaviors. Actually - the behaviors are even worse. They do things like make asinine generalizations and assume they can speak for everyone...

by Anonymousreply 13709/30/2013

Because both lesbians and gay men like mannish-ness.

by Anonymousreply 13809/30/2013

Oh R137, read your last sentence as you stand in front of the mirror.

by Anonymousreply 13909/30/2013

a lot of lesbians are attracted to straight chicks. OP is wrong.

by Anonymousreply 14009/30/2013

[all posts by flame bait troll #11 removed (violent racist homophobic right-wing misogynist), ISP notified with full text of all posts.]

by Anonymousreply 14110/04/2013

[all posts by flame bait troll #11 removed (violent racist homophobic right-wing misogynist), ISP notified with full text of all posts.]

by Anonymousreply 14210/04/2013

You are all over this thread, R142, as a male and a female.

by Anonymousreply 14310/04/2013

I love femme women, which means I like straight gals

by Anonymousreply 14410/06/2013

I was at the Abby recently, and I was so pleasantly surprised how feminine and nice the gay ladies looked and behaved. It gave me new hope!

by Anonymousreply 14512/09/2013
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