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Don''t ever tell me again that a puss-he can''t get wet!

Earlier tonight I saw my super's hot, hunky teenage son shirtless. I live across the hall from them and as I got off the elevator, he was standing by the door, totally shirtless, displaying his patented thick arms that he LOVES showing off and a beautiful chest. He was waiting for his gf, who got off a few seconds later from the other elevator bank.

I felt my back pussy start to twitch and moisten up as he said hi and I stared for just long enough to drink in his gorgeousness. By the time I got into my apt and threw my backpack on the couch, my hole was throbbing and dripping like a lesky faucet. I disrobed, lie back on my bed, spread my legs, and put my finger to town in that wet juicy. When I stuck my finger in there, it felt like I just stuck my finger in a container of Curel. I tore that thing to shreds as I screamed out his name, Pete.

So don't ever tell me that a vaguyna, when sufficiently aroused, cannot become moist and dewy. My mind recognizes that I need a cock back there, and it forces it to become wet like a female twat. I'l living proof that it can.

by Anonymousreply 11607/18/2013

Now this is why they hate us.

by Anonymousreply 106/11/2010

Maybe you sharted.

by Anonymousreply 206/11/2010

Immodium will dry that vaguyguy right up.

by Anonymousreply 306/11/2010

I spent about half a minute trying to figure out what the hell "Don't ever tell me again that a puss. He can't get wet" means.

by Anonymousreply 406/11/2010

[quote]I felt my back pussy start to twitch and moisten up

by Anonymousreply 506/11/2010

[quote] dripping like a lesky faucet

Oh, dear.

by Anonymousreply 606/11/2010

Mucus Monster

by Anonymousreply 806/11/2010

[quote]what's a "lesky" faucet?

It's a special faucet placed on sewer pipes for extracting fecal samples. It was designed and patented by Christine Jorgenson Lesky.

by Anonymousreply 906/11/2010

An ass that self-lubes is marriage material.

by Anonymousreply 1006/11/2010

OP, you had an involuntary fecal discharge. Eat more fiber.

by Anonymousreply 1206/11/2010

It was sweat dumbass. That or the ol' sphincter ain't what it used to be.

by Anonymousreply 1306/12/2010

Ewwwwwww. There are NO glands back there that would make this happen. NONE. It is NOT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE for a man's anus to "lubricate" with ANYTHING other than sweat or some sort of fecal discharge.

Disgusting.

by Anonymousreply 1406/12/2010

Mucosal discharge is real.

by Anonymousreply 1506/12/2010

The most common causes for mucus rectal discharge are benign. Anyway, serious pathology is sufficiently likely to warrant though examination. There are a few conditions that can cause rectal mucus discharge. Common are hemorrhoids, anal fissures, rectal prolepses, proctitis and perineal warts. Those situations are most common in human. Occasional that can be caused by rectal carcinoma and villous adenoma. Also perineal Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis is possible for rectal mucus discharge. There is included and solitary rectal ulcer syndrome too. A very rare condition that causes Rectal mucus discharge is anal tuberculosis, syphilis, gonorrhea or AIDS. Anal tuberculosis...OP's anus is consumptive.

by Anonymousreply 1606/12/2010

I think it was want-water released by the OP's wishing.

by Anonymousreply 1706/12/2010

next time see a doctor

by Anonymousreply 1806/12/2010

I hear a little baking soda in the hole can make it QUITE juicy indeed. Not exactly self lubricating, but if you want a wet man pussy....

by Anonymousreply 2006/12/2010

I think I need mind bleach now.

by Anonymousreply 2206/12/2010

Ah, the wonders of butterfish!

by Anonymousreply 2306/12/2010

Your whole large intestine and connectors are lubed. If it weren't the feces would run away the lining or even more likely, just get stuck in the tract. The lubrication allows them to shoot out. Then during times of sexual arousal, men get more moist in the bomb bay in anticipation of penile penetration. It's the guys with dry chute who have the problem.

by Anonymousreply 2406/12/2010

Feel confidant... Feel safe... Feel dry...

MODASS sanitary pad

(Because you never know when you'll bump into your super's hot son)

by Anonymousreply 2506/12/2010

"My mind recognizes that I need a cock back there, and it forces it to become wet like a female twat"

Darling, really, shouldn't you be using your powers for good?

by Anonymousreply 2606/12/2010

If he lives across the hall from his super he is not in a building where there is one bank of elevators let alone two.

He took the stairs so it must be butt sweat.

by Anonymousreply 2706/12/2010

Dad?

Yes, son?

Do you ever feel... not so fresh?

by Anonymousreply 2806/12/2010

^lol Maybe the Super is paid well or the apartment is part of his compensation?

by Anonymousreply 2906/12/2010

Until just now, I thought that OP had written "my super hot, hunky teenage son shirtless". I was wondering why nobody was up in arms about the incest angle. Now that I know that this is about some menial's offspring, I don't care about this thread anymore.

by Anonymousreply 3006/12/2010

Well, R30, that's our loss. buh-bye.

by Anonymousreply 3106/12/2010

I wish I could self-lubricate. Sometimes I get a logjam when having a BM. Nothing worse than having one turn sideways on the way out.

by Anonymousreply 3206/12/2010

R32. That's known as a breach turd.

by Anonymousreply 3306/12/2010

R14 = top of every summer hostesses' guest list.

by Anonymousreply 3406/12/2010

I felt the wind whistle through my pussy reading this OP

by Anonymousreply 3506/12/2010

This thread MUST have Momma's mussy (puss-he, vaguyna) SNAPPING like a turtle!

by Anonymousreply 3606/12/2010

What a sad pathetic attempt at recreating Bonnie Mace.

by Anonymousreply 3706/12/2010

no that is not medically possible OP

by Anonymousreply 3806/12/2010

You guys make me sick. You bitch and moan about "butch" lesbians wanting to be men, etc., but god forbid you all should admit that, in yout heart of hearts, you want to be women. I think I'll go puke now.

by Anonymousreply 3906/12/2010

"a vaguyna, when sufficiently aroused, cannot become moist and dewy"

Speaks for itself.

by Anonymousreply 4006/12/2010

"I think I'll go puke now."

Try fewer Doritos while online, sugar.

by Anonymousreply 4106/12/2010

This thread actually made me laugh.

by Anonymousreply 4206/12/2010

If your mangina is leaking a mucus discharge, it's usually because of some medical issue. It's best to see a doctor.

by Anonymousreply 4306/12/2010

"I tore that thing to shreds as I screamed out his name"

This is about as erotic as watching my mother shave her heels.

by Anonymousreply 4406/12/2010

I think there was an episode of ER involving a breach turd.

by Anonymousreply 4506/12/2010

That's not your asshole you're feeling, OP. You're intersexed and discovered the dormant vagina in your taint. You are going to be the most popular person at school from now on.

by Anonymousreply 4606/12/2010

OP has pussy envy.

by Anonymousreply 4706/12/2010

If the dick and the clit are variations on a theme, why can't the vaguyna and the vagina be so?

by Anonymousreply 4806/12/2010

R36 made me crack up!!!

by Anonymousreply 4906/12/2010

r32, just get your honey to dig the dookie bubble out with their finger. that's what peoples in love does.

by Anonymousreply 5006/12/2010

[quote]You bitch and moan about "butch" lesbians wanting to be men, etc., but god forbid you all should admit that, in yout heart of hearts, you want to be women.

No, we don't. The OP is a well-known troll whose M.O. is usage of ridiculous names for male assholes ("puss-he," "mangina, etc.) along with farcically ridiculous tales about male assholes being able to self-lubricate. They are fiction and quite possibly the work of Noodles.

by Anonymousreply 5106/12/2010

If that wasn't a joke post, R39, you're a sad human. And pretty fucking stupid, to make generalizations based on an EST.

by Anonymousreply 5206/12/2010

[quote]This is the Resident Datalounge Sex Troll AKA Noodles.

I'll bet you were a delight to all your teachers in school. Did you stay after school to deliver your daily report on what everyone did when the teacher wasn't looking?

by Anonymousreply 5406/12/2010

Well OP, I'm glad you had a happy time after seeing Mr. Muscles. I hope you didn't work that thang raw.

by Anonymousreply 5506/12/2010

I think it's pretty obvious the OP was simply suffering from a slight case of diarrhea. Either that or there was some residual semen left deep in his rectum from the back room gang bang he had partaken in 2 nights before. You know OP, when you take 20 loads in your hole in one night it takes a high colonic to get it all out.

by Anonymousreply 5606/12/2010

I'm a little ashamed to admit it, but the same thing happens to me when I get extremely excited. I noticed it a few weeks ago. This hot guy moved into my building and was unloading his furniture from a U-Haul. By the end of the day, he was shirtless and stripped down to a pair of shorts. He has an incredibly sinewy upper body. We started chatting, and I felt myself getting wet back there. By the end of the conversation I was gushing harder than BP oil rig. I have a term for the wet, dewy feeling in my mantwat: boysture, and it is very much a real thing. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

by Anonymousreply 5706/14/2010

Get tested for gonorrhea, OP!

by Anonymousreply 5806/14/2010

[quote]By the end of the conversation I was gushing harder than BP oil rig.

And had just as many crabs killed by the sludge.

by Anonymousreply 5906/14/2010

R54=momma/noodles.

Moist mussy=unwiped shitbox.

by Anonymousreply 6006/14/2010

This sounds like the poster with the "my ass was literally chewing".

by Anonymousreply 6106/14/2010

OP, this may well have happened to you.

Just like some people have six toes on one foot, there are physical anomalies in the world.

But, as a matter of fact, in general, a butthole does not get wet upon arousal.

by Anonymousreply 6206/14/2010

R6 NAILS it.

by Anonymousreply 6306/14/2010

Self-lubing buttholes are like the male version of the "myth" of female ejaculation, right?

At least, I hope they are myths, kind of like chupacabra, although I find the latter infinitely less disturbing.

by Anonymousreply 6406/14/2010

r59, thank you! I need a good laugh. That is one of the funniest lines I have ever read on Datalounge. Bravo!

by Anonymousreply 6506/14/2010

so that's why my bf insists on blowing his nose in my ass!

by Anonymousreply 6606/14/2010

[quote]I have a term for the wet, dewy feeling in my mantwat: boysture, and it is very much a real thing. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Boysture? LOL!

Okay OP, here's what's going on. When your puss-he gets wet, that's just douche water, lube or semen from some earlier sex you had. Sometimes it can take a while to move down and out. Arousal puts you in a relaxed state and gets things moving.

by Anonymousreply 6706/14/2010

This thread reeks of pussy envy.

by Anonymousreply 6806/14/2010

I suppose if you had a dry eye or dry mouth condition you might be likely to believe that everyone is the same as you. However, once you find out that everyone else isn't like you, for example that everyone else has the self-lubricating anus, what would prompt you to be so vociferous in your denial?

by Anonymousreply 6906/14/2010

a moist bump for the night crowd!

by Anonymousreply 7006/15/2010

R60 is so consistently off the mark and always reveals herself for the foolish KAH-weeeeeen that she is.

by Anonymousreply 7106/15/2010

This thread was SOOO worth reading. I needed a huge laugh this morning, and I got it from the triple hit of "puss-he", "vaguyguy" and "Modass". Thanks DL!

by Anonymousreply 7206/15/2010

Whoa What's a Modass?

by Anonymousreply 7306/15/2010

r73, see r25.

by Anonymousreply 7406/15/2010

This happened again today to me, OP. It must happen a lot more than I think. It happened in the men's room at work.

You know how it is when you slink into a men's room in anticipation of what you'll find there. You know, there's that mix of exhilaration and apprehension at what testosterone-riddled specimen of masculinity awaits you. C'mon, we all do it and we all know that breathtaking feeling. And then you slither by the stalls, casually peeking into the interstices to catch a glimpse of heaven, your heart increasingly pounding as you stroll from stall to stall. As I was doing this today, I felt boysture building and building in me, like a river rising to its banks after a sudden downpour. My manties were drenched.

by Anonymousreply 7506/15/2010

r75, bag those manties STAT and send them to mama next day air. I'll wear them like a surgical mask when I surf Manhunt and diddle my bumclit.

by Anonymousreply 7606/15/2010

manties!

by Anonymousreply 7706/15/2010

"C'mon, we all do it"

No, hon, some of us grew up.

by Anonymousreply 7806/16/2010

"Manties?"

by Anonymousreply 7906/16/2010

tis thread is sick.... not in a good way

by Anonymousreply 8006/16/2010

The anal canal is about an inch and a half long.

Its inner lining (called the mucosa) is made up of several different kinds of cells.

Glands and ducts (tubes leading from the glands) are found under the mucosa. These glands make mucus, which acts as a lubricating fluid.

by Anonymousreply 8106/16/2010

Actually humans have apocrine (SCENT!) glands there.

by Anonymousreply 8206/16/2010

I guess you queens will start listening for now on when someone says their mussy is moist...

Non?

by Anonymousreply 8306/16/2010

R83, if I'm there at a church gathering, or a PTA meeting or a girls get together at Starbucks, and someone starts talking about their moist mussy, my gaydar will kick in, yes.

by Anonymousreply 8406/16/2010

I guess OP is now in depends.

by Anonymousreply 8506/23/2010

R85?

[italic] ENOUGH.[/italic]

by Anonymousreply 8606/23/2010

How soon until "boysture" makes it into Webster's Dictionary?

by Anonymousreply 8706/23/2010

[quote]The anal canal is about an inch and a half long.

But my FB is 8" and fills me to the hilt of his love-lance. Check your figures.

by Anonymousreply 8806/23/2010

How did this thread die?

by Anonymousreply 8907/15/2012

back pussy vaguyna vaguyguy boy holes MODASS sanitary pad puss-he mussy mangina Manties boysture

by Anonymousreply 9007/15/2012

Bravo. 10/10.

by Anonymousreply 9107/15/2012

Is this what you saw, OP?

by Anonymousreply 9207/15/2012

bump

by Anonymousreply 9307/16/2012

I really needed that laugh, thanks op.

by Anonymousreply 9407/16/2012

Now, Marcus, get your trousers back on. Golly, I called dinner ten whole minutes ago!

by Anonymousreply 9507/16/2012

The sky was so moist that day....

by Anonymousreply 9607/16/2012

will you marry me 21

by Anonymousreply 9707/16/2012

OP: It doesn't get better. Commit suicide.

by Anonymousreply 9807/16/2012

OP darlin', you're a whore.

by Anonymousreply 9907/17/2012

my tight black puss-he is always dripping

by Anonymousreply 10007/17/2012

OP, your mom would be welling up w/ tears of pride if she read this post.

So.... touching.

by Anonymousreply 10107/17/2012

i can't believe that you fucking morons spend money to post this shit......get relevant or get gone!

by Anonymousreply 10207/17/2012

[quote]my super's hot, hunky teenage son shirtless

The first time I read this, I didn't notice the apostrophe and thought it was another pedo/incest troll.

Then, I read the entire post and wished that I had been right the first time.

by Anonymousreply 10307/17/2012

Ah the joys of the cyber world. People Listen: Of course the anus of both sexes has glands that produce mucous. It is generally clear in color. Taking a crap would be a nightmare if this were not true. It is also true that sexual arousal induces spasms in involuntary muscles in and around the anus in both sexes which certainly can expel said mucous. Take a freakin' course in basic anatomy before you make assumptions. Jeeze!

by Anonymousreply 10410/16/2012

Anal mucous smells bad, so your guygina must stink OP

by Anonymousreply 10510/16/2012

I like in porn when you can hear the hole getting wetter as the top pounds the bottom

by Anonymousreply 10610/16/2012

It was probably prostatic fluid, which does build up there without frequent ejaculation. When was the last time you'd cum OP?

by Anonymousreply 10710/17/2012

I'm am 19-years-old and I've never heard of this until just recently. My 16-year-old boyfriend told me that, because of my New York accent, when I speak it turns him on and makes him dripping wet. I was totally confused because I've never heard that to be possible. I didn't really believe him but also wasn't sure because at this point in our relationship we hadn't had sex yet. A day or two later we were messing around and when I went to finger him, he was really really wet. So maybe it is true. Guys can get wet when aroused!

by Anonymousreply 10802/20/2013

"Anal mucous smells bad"

It smells like what you ate. Whereas the vagine smells like what didn't become a baby.

by Anonymousreply 10902/20/2013

My talents are acting, singing and self-lubrication!

by Anonymousreply 11002/20/2013

[quote]It smells like what you ate.

Poor R109 must eat some really "shitty" food.

by Anonymousreply 11102/20/2013

OP, see a doctor. It sounds like you have IBS.

by Anonymousreply 11202/20/2013

[quote]I tore that thing to shreds as I screamed out his name, Pete.

My name isn't Pete, and I furthermore want to hear nothing else about that thing.

by Anonymousreply 11302/20/2013

Seriously you guys are stupid!! are prostate gland (male G-spot) is in are ass, alright if you regulary stimulate it by fingering, toys or anal sex... It produces a white and yellow goo and your ass gets extremly wet!! so If I see a extremly hot guy and think about him penetrating me and move back and forward thinking about it my prostate will stimulate a little and I will get wet. because its use to the stimulation

by Anonymousreply 11407/17/2013

How did I ever miss this thread?

by Anonymousreply 11507/18/2013

Dear Lord in Heaven!

by Anonymousreply 11607/18/2013
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