I'm a 33 year old white guy and until now had only been "attracted" to other white guys. But about 3 months ago, I met a black guy, a friend of a friend, at a small party. We talked quite a bit at the party and I found him witty and very interesting. Still, I was not romantically attracted. At the end of the evening, Paul asked me for my number and asked if I would be open for drinks one day. I was caught a little off guard but gave him my number. Long story short, we went for drinks, which went well, made out, yada yada and now I could not be happier. I'm struggling with what my initial hesitance was to not being more open about dating someone not white. And to honest, I'm just dumbstruck as to how well this relationship is going. It's still new, but it's fucking good and Paul is fantastic: Tall and handsome Smart and funny Stable Sex is the best In some ways this has been to good to be true. What have been your experiences in interracial dating?
Interracial dating. Have you do
|by Anonymous||reply 85||10/30/2014|
Where did you grow up?
|by Anonymous||reply 1||04/25/2010|
I have do not.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||04/25/2010|
OP, why have you felt the need to start three threads with the interracial dating theme?
|by Anonymous||reply 3||04/25/2010|
"In some ways this has been to good to be true." It is, OP. It is.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||04/25/2010|
Just wait honey. He will at some point probably right after you move in together play on your white guilt to manipulate you into having his views about the oppression white hegemony has created for black men. He will angrily and smugly tell you that you cant possibly understand because you didn't grow up black in a white dominated society. AND DONT YOU EVER GOD DAMN COMPARE WHAT BLACKS WENT THROUGH IN THIS COUNTRY AND SLAVERY TO ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR BOURGEOISIE MIDDLE CLASS GAY SHIT. He is a control freak and likely an abuser. Get out while you can.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||04/25/2010|
MHB went off her meds again. Call the fire dept., make sure they bring her some brandy. For what it's worth, OP sounds like he's having a mild case of post-hoc white guilt. Not a big deal, as long as you don't get all hung up over it. Racial/cultural mingling? A damn good thing. Just ask my parents!
|by Anonymous||reply 6||04/25/2010|
As far as black men are concerned I have seen many who I thought were extremely handsome, but they are men who do not have the stereotypical negroid features and who's skin tone is lighter in color. I'm sorry that I don't find all black men attractive and I know that some people here will think I'm a racist because of it. But I also don't find all white men or Asian men handsome either.
The holier than thou ultra politically correct crowd around here will take great offense at that and so be it.
I've met a few black men in my time who intimated they would like to go out but it always ended up that they had some sort of a race chip on shoulder they were dealing with and I'm simply not interested in race being a major topic of conversation on a date. Strangely enough of all the black people I've known or know, the vast majority of them are dead set against interracial dating/marriage especially straight black men with white women. That seems to offend them greatly and I can see why. With all the fine looking black women out there it just looks suspicious when a black man will only date white women as if they're somehow better than black women.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||04/25/2010|
Sorry r7, but you are the one with the "race chip" on your shoulder, which is transparently obvious from your lengthy, irrational screed full of projection about what everyone else is going to say about you. Get some help. OP, do what feels right and live your life. And stop asking for advice here. The population is 98% mental and emotional cripples; they cannot help themselves, so how are they going to help you?
|by Anonymous||reply 8||04/25/2010|
I knew it! It didn't take long for an idiot to come out of the woodwork to accuse me of being a racist because I don't find some black men handsome. R8, I'm sure you've probably dated many black men (or are a black man) and think that all black men must be considered handsome by all white people because you think all black men are handsome. I don't find redheads handsome either R8. So I guess I have a ginger chip on my shoulder too. What a moron you are.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||04/25/2010|
--shrug-- I read what you wrote. Get ahold of yourself.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||04/25/2010|
I dated a black person for awhile, and race was discussed frequently. It was always the elephant in the room. For that reason, I didn't feel comfortable enough to continue the relationship.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||04/25/2010|
yeah, im sure it was YOU who always brought it up and went on and on about it... right, R11.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||04/25/2010|
OP, ignore the neanderthal @ r7. I partially disagree w/ r6. I don't think it's necessarily white guilt you're experiencing here. I think everyone experiences a little unease when involving yourself with something you are not accustomed to whether it's your first time dating somebody of another race, a different body type, cultural background, etc, etc. Don't be too hard on yourself, OP and congrats on the new relationship.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||04/25/2010|
Oh yeah fer sure, r12. I couldn't stop talking about how hard it is to be black in the US, how prevalent racism is, how all my friends are racist, how my bf should get reparations. It turned him right off.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||04/25/2010|
My Mom's cousin has been in an inter-racial relationship for thirty years - if I'm lucky, my partner and I will have a marriage that's even half as solid and loving as theirs.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||04/25/2010|
Just wait till you have sex with him and find out he has an irish dick.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||04/25/2010|
R11 has never met a black person, let alone had a "relationship" with one (newsflash--gloryholes are not relationships). The conversations you described are exactly what happens in the heads of white people who segregate themselves whenever they want to talk about what black "will" say to them (think r7)--"see, that's why I have to hide from them! They're sooo mean!" Please grow up.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||04/25/2010|
nobody gives a shit about your mom's cousin, R15.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||04/25/2010|
It's kind of hard to believe that your relationship could be going so well if you're so squirrely about being in an interracial relationship. How can Paul not realize you have these issues?
|by Anonymous||reply 19||04/25/2010|
R7, I don't know if you're a racist (nor am I accusing you of being one) but I do wholeheartedly agree with R8 -- you're clearly projecting your own drama/issues onto black people. You may never want to admit that but it's true.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||04/25/2010|
[quote]What have been your experiences in interracial dating? It's not an issue I even think about, and I've dated a number of different races (black, Hispanic, Korean-American and Native American). My grandparents -- who are both in the South and still openly use the word "colored" to describe blacks -- got the vapors when they met the black guy, having only recently heard that I was gay.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||04/25/2010|
Ascribing positive traits to race isn't exactly progressive, guys. It means you're seeing the person's color as their defining characteristic. Pathetic.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||04/25/2010|
I just love black dick.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||04/25/2010|
OP asked for examples, R18. Up to him whether it's relevant or not.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||04/25/2010|
One question: has he done the "Say my name" thing yet? I hear that's a hallmark.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||04/26/2010|
Been in a interracial relationship for 20 years. Since there is no inherent racism in either of us, we've managed to work through any misunderstandings. I can't imagine life without him.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||04/26/2010|
Jeez, it's 2010. Is "interracial dating" still an issue? Really? Really?
|by Anonymous||reply 27||04/26/2010|
Apparently for some it is, R27. Sad, isn't it?
|by Anonymous||reply 28||04/26/2010|
Its not an issue for most people r27, especially those of us who live in urban areas. I do think there is a high concentration of rural and Midwestern posters who still have hangups.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||04/26/2010|
I know, I know. There are obviously geographic and socioeconomic circumstances where it can still be an issue. I just get all Pollyanna sometimes. The civil rights movement was basically two generations ago. That this is still an issue for some folks is just bizarre as hell to me. Love who you want to love. Be happy. Fuck the haters!
|by Anonymous||reply 30||04/26/2010|
I married my handsome black man.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||04/26/2010|
I'm a black guy in my 20's and I've dated several white men. It's funny how some of you act like it's the black person who's hung up on race, because that certainly hasn't been the case with me.
In a few instances, my white boyfriends made me feel like more of a fetish than a person (they only dated black men, they'd go on and on about my dick size, and they expected me to be the alpha male/protector). In one case, I was deemed good enough to be a fuckbuddy by a friend in medical school, but he only dated white men.
I admit that I'm one of those black men who are often attracted to white and Latino men, but at the end of the day, a good guy is a good guy. Interracial dating shouldn't be the big deal that men, gay and straight, make it out to be (my straight female friends--of all races--have no problem dating outside of their race). Too many men are quick to say that all blacks or Asians are ugly, and therefore not worth getting to know. I have a problem with that mentality, but I am willing to concede that we all have our preferences.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||04/26/2010|
DON'T DO IT OP! ALL BLACK MEN ONLY WANT US WHITE GUYS FOR OUR MONEY & TO MAKE THEM LOOK GOOD AMONGST THEIR GHETTO FRIENDS! AND, THEY'RE ALL CRACK ADDICTS THAT ARE LAZY, WILL STILL YOUR MONEY, AND CONSTANTLY TELL LIES! THEY'RE OK FOR A GOOD FUCKING IF YOU NEED WITH THEIR BIG, ALBEIT SEMI-ERECT, PENISES. BUT, I STRONGLY ADVISE YOU AGAINST AN ON-GOING RELATIONSHIP WITH A BLACK MAN!
|by Anonymous||reply 33||04/26/2010|
R33, you are a racist piece of white trailer trash. You should be only happy if a black man finds your pot-bellied, thinning hair, bad breath, & small dick attractive! ASSHOLE!
|by Anonymous||reply 34||04/26/2010|
Might be a bit late with this one and also only read page one because I was getting so fucking wound up by you fucked up Mummy's boys... I'm black and I have a beautiful boyfriend of three years,who is white. The only time the race thing is brought up is when he is telling me how much he likes having my big black cock deep up inside of him. We joke about it. Maybe it's a generation thing (we are in our early twenties unlike most of you haggard, rotting old creepers)or maybe even a location thing (we live in Acton, W LDN- went to HS together and there were more black kids than white) and in our first week of dating my boyf was making slave jokes along the lines of; him: make me a drink. Me: fuck off. Him: i'd have whipped you for saying that 100 years ago... Call me self loathing but I find it very fucking funny and not at all a sore subject! Maybe when you DON'T talk and joke about it, thats when it becomes a problem.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||04/26/2010|
Wow, slave jokes! You two are so post-modern and kewl!
|by Anonymous||reply 36||04/26/2010|
R36 sounds like he needs some big black dick in his prissy little mouth.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||04/26/2010|
This entire thread sounds like an old Virginia Slims cigarette commercial: You've come a long way, baby!
I suspect this the first time a guys penis has entered his ass only to be seen as his uvula when he opens his mouth. Granted it's always exciting, but most keep the details to themselves.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||04/26/2010|
I told him to come in here and bust up this cheffarobe and I would give him a quarter
|by Anonymous||reply 39||04/26/2010|
I love interracial dating. Honestly, I've always been more attracted to people who don't look like me. I'm 26 white and have a 37 year old black fwb.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||07/02/2013|
Let's just say I like my men the way I like my coffee.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||07/02/2013|
Thanks R40 for bumping this three year old thread...
|by Anonymous||reply 42||07/02/2013|
R42 I didn't find any recent threads and I'm not a free member so I can't create my own. That's why I bumped this. I think interracial dating is awesome.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||07/02/2013|
I'm attracted to good looks, not someone's race. And there's good looking people in every race and ugly people in every race.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||07/02/2013|
Understandable I guess R43. Though I will say I think it is a good sign there weren't any topics on this. "Interracial dating" shouldn't be a topic. The idea that the race of the person you are dating should even be some big consideration is way old school thinking.
You like a person, you date a person, making a issue about their "race" is archaic.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||07/02/2013|
but for many people, it is an issue. I hate seeing profiles of guys who "only" date guys in their same race or ethnic group. It is still quite common sadly.
|by Anonymous||reply 46||07/02/2013|
R41, bitter and over priced?
|by Anonymous||reply 47||07/02/2013|
Interracial dating is so 1990's.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||07/02/2013|
Obviously this country still has it's issues with race and interracial relationship.
The Cherrios ad controversy proves that.
I find myself attracted to the *person* so race is not an issue as much as cultural differences. Having been in a LTR relationship with someone of European background, I often find discussions tend to sound like one sided arguments.
"Why are you yelling at me?"
Took a long time to distinguish the tendency to just be loud and impassioned on a subject but it isn't a fight, my BF just is very passionate. When speaking with his family in his native language, they always sound like they are fighting. It's just the way they are.
I have never had a specific "type" I was solely attracted to or fixated on but as another poster said, there are attractive and unattractive people of all races.
I'd never limit myself by race or even looks. Personality, common interests, common values seem to be the deciding factors. I have found those kind of things seem to lead to problems in relationship even more than cultural differences.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||07/03/2013|
I dated outside my race, and I'd gladly do it if I met the right guy who was attractive. But generally I'm more attracted to guys of my own race (or to Hispanics).
|by Anonymous||reply 50||07/03/2013|
No thanks. I just can't stomach bestiality.
|by Anonymous||reply 51||07/03/2013|
OP: It's all fun and games until the rape starts.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||07/03/2013|
My first LTR was with a black guy (I'm white). I know not all black guys are like him (I've had many black friends who weren't) but after initially telling me he was a lawyer I found out he was not employed at all and made his money and bought his house by dealing meth. Also he was HIV positive and knew it and didn't tell me. Fortunately I'm somehow still negative. I made a lot of stupid mistakes in that relationship ignoring red flags, but I was 19 and in what I thought was love for the first time and trying to prove to my racist parents that black guys weren't all bad.
Even after I found out the truth about everything I was afraid to leave him because he would threaten to kill me and choked me and beat me up a few times. I moved and changed my phone number when he went to jail. (He had a prior criminal record and warrants for his arrest for shooting someone!)
I think I probably missed out on a great LTR with another black guy a few years later who was really sweet just because I was afraid of something crazy happening again. I'm sure I will get labeled racist for being honest about this and I'm trying to stay open minded, but in my experience the stereotype I always called my parents racist for having was true.
|by Anonymous||reply 53||07/03/2013|
R53, the ONE experience?
|by Anonymous||reply 54||07/03/2013|
Different races have different body odors(and different amounts of odors). Therefore:
B.O. is racist.
B.O. is a social construct.
|by Anonymous||reply 55||07/03/2013|
"I made a lot of stupid mistakes in that relationship ignoring red flags, but I was 19 and in what I thought was love for the first time and trying to prove to my racist parents that black guys weren't all bad."
Typical mindset of a race mixer: Dating someone to make a point and or to thumb their nose at their family, and to prove that "they aren't all like THAT"
Translation: Most of them are like THAT.
|by Anonymous||reply 56||07/03/2013|
Is the OP 95 years old?
|by Anonymous||reply 57||07/03/2013|
Just be sure to always keep a watermelon in your fridge and you'll have no problems at all
|by Anonymous||reply 58||07/03/2013|
It's the only way to calm the beast, R58.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||07/03/2013|
R54 Yes, the one experience dating a black man. It only takes one when it's that traumatizing. I acknowledged not all black people are like that (including many of my friends/roommates over the years) but the one time I did date one he was and even a few years later I was still too afraid to be proven wrong. What is so confusing about that to you?
R56 I didn't date him just to thumb my nose at my family. He was hot and great in bed and the guy he pretended to be at first was smart and successful and nice. I thought he was a great catch until I found out all the crap he was lying about. Plus, my family wasn't speaking to me at the time because I had just come out.
Everyone complains about stereotypes, but even the ones about gays (promiscuous drug addicts) are there for a reason. Enough people in that group conform to the stereotype that it can't be simply explained away as a coincidence. Not everyone falls into the stereotype; It's like all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares. Ever seen "Avenue Q"? "Ethnic jokes might be uncouth but you laugh because they're based on truth?"
|by Anonymous||reply 60||07/03/2013|
Don't date a black guy if you're white! They'll sneak money out of your wallet while you're asleep! I know. Trust Me.
|by Anonymous||reply 61||07/03/2013|
Nothing confusing about it R60, just pathetic.
|by Anonymous||reply 62||07/03/2013|
Was the black boyfriend hung as a horse?
|by Anonymous||reply 63||07/03/2013|
r53, you like thugs..you thought it had to do with him being black. Thugs come in all colors.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||07/03/2013|
Yes, congrats OP, for discovering that black people are actually good people.
|by Anonymous||reply 65||07/03/2013|
Yes R65, a 'discovery' that is only made through TV and movies.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||07/03/2013|
R53 - considering the major mistakes you made in picking someone to date - I don't think you should be afraid of dating another black guy.
I think you should be afraid of dating anyone you are attracted to.
Even at 19 you can't tell the difference between a meth dealer and a lawyer? (As I type this I'm sure there is a joke hidden in their somewhere.)
|by Anonymous||reply 67||07/03/2013|
And you must be a real prize R54/R62 if you have dated (slept with?) so many races and none of them stuck around. Maybe they had a problem with your judging and soap box preaching and constantly reminding them how not racist you are because you've presented your hole to so many different races?. At least I was honest and admitted where I was wrong.
R63 Yes, his cock was ginormous. I was completely dicktamized.
R64 He was not a "typical" thug, whatever that is. He wore suits and ties, owned his own house, and drove a nice car, not with rims and neon lights or whatever a meth dealer drives. Maybe I shouldn't be attracted to driven successful people? He made fun of people who smoked weed because it was for "ghetto" people. He didn't live in a crack den or a trailer or have gold/missing teeth or meth face or any of the telltale signs. And I didn't know the telltale signs at 19 anyway. I grew up in the Midwest and was super naïve back then.
R67 I didn't say I was still afraid of dating a black guy (I've been in an LTR with someone for 5+ years so I'm not currently looking) just that I was for a while after this horrible experience and even later recognized that was a mistake.
The OP asked about our experiences with interracial dating and why some people were reluctant to do it. I gave a realistic, honest answer that maybe some people had bad experiences in their past and haven't gotten over them yet. Sorry if that offended you.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||07/03/2013|
What would make you think none stuck around? You've no ability to evaluate based on logic, have you?
You are traumatized from an entire race due to one experience with one person. You make a statement about a stranger's life on DL with no knowledge of that stranger.
You're either trolling, or not to smart. I'm going to guess it's both.
|by Anonymous||reply 69||07/03/2013|
I once got involved with a guy from another race, a Vulcan to be exact. He was great but I couldn't get past those pointy ears
|by Anonymous||reply 70||07/03/2013|
R53 you're a moron. You just weren't good at picking out signs of a liar. Would you be hesitant to date another white guy or asian guy if this guy who fooled and mistreated you were white or asian? The fact that you said this ONE black guy shaped your views, or "confirmed" negative stereotypes of black people makes you sound quite ignorant and racist.
|by Anonymous||reply 71||07/03/2013|
I'm the smug asshole who decides what threads should be posted and what other posters should say! I call people "moron" when they've honestly share things about their lives! I am one of the most intolerant people on the DL but I must continue calling people racist and ignorant (even after they've fessed up to their faults) because I offer nothing of value here except the sublime stink of my own superior farts!
And I am being stalked! STALKED! here because I am so fucking fabulous!
Somebody PLEASE park their dog's ass over my mouth BEFORE I POST AGAIN!!!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 72||07/03/2013|
lol R72 you're obsessed with me and if you're not drunk or high while making these posts, then you're just a sad being. I don't care if you like my opinions or not but I am just as free as you to post here. You will deal. Hopefully your meltdowns will stop soon though, it's not a good look for you, gurl.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||07/03/2013|
I am an idiot who confuses obsession with noticing how loathsome a little turd's posts are and calling him on it.
And I am so self-absorbed that I cannot take the hint, but DO run all over the DL to see if anything else has been posted about ME. Because I am incapable of reading for content. I only want to shit on people, in the manner of the asshole I am.
And I stick the lol in because I am, as I said, an idiot. So young, so smart, so devoid of substance.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||07/03/2013|
|by Anonymous||reply 75||07/31/2013|
Interracial dating is nice. I love meeting people who come from different backgrounds than me.
|by Anonymous||reply 76||07/31/2013|
I don't see men as black or white. I see them as big dick and bigger dick.
|by Anonymous||reply 77||07/31/2013|
First of all, R33 is a trouble making troll. My first sexual experience with a Black man was when I was 22 years old. It was the most fulfilling sexual experience I had ever had, up to that time. I also had a Black lover for almost two years in my 30's. And through my adult years, my sexual encounters and love life have included many types, races and ethnicities. Ive never given it a second thought. Attraction for me is color blind. We just need to click.
|by Anonymous||reply 78||07/31/2013|
I have doed it and all the men of either race hit me.
|by Anonymous||reply 79||07/31/2013|
Its sad many white men wont even give good black guys like me the time of day
|by Anonymous||reply 80||12/11/2013|
I LOVE BLACK MEN!
THEY ARE DELICIOUS!
|by Anonymous||reply 81||10/30/2014|
[quote]As far as black men are concerned I have seen many who I thought were extremely handsome, but they are men who do not have the stereotypical negroid features and who's skin tone is lighter in color. I'm sorry that I don't find all black men attractive and I know that some people here will think I'm a racist because of it.
Not at all.
We think you are a racist because you use words like "negroid," asshole.
|by Anonymous||reply 82||10/30/2014|
He's an American asshole!! NAAAAAIIIEE!!!
Now where's my crystal meth?..
|by Anonymous||reply 83||10/30/2014|
im a black female. my s/o is white & asian. such a gorgeous man...just amazing all around. over 6 feet tall, brains, great job.
my experiences in IR relationships have been good and bad. i was almost someones "experiment". i've had white and latino guys say super offensive things on dates or while trying to pick me up.
it's sickening how much black men and women are sexually objectified by other races. white guys in particular have a talent for dehumanizing us.
i usually date within my race, but i've tried everything at this point.
|by Anonymous||reply 84||10/30/2014|
posted by r80: "Its sad many white men wont even give good black guys like me." Really? Your thirst for white men makes the Sahara look like an oasis. Not a good look! Nobody wants a desperate black man hungering for validation of worth by a white man. Just Stop!
|by Anonymous||reply 85||10/30/2014|