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Have you ever had an affair?

I'm not talking about a one night stand or a brief hook up on a business trip or a blowjob in the bathroom at The Abbey, but an honest to goodness, stolen moments, motel off the interstate exit meeting, longterm, emotional and physical affair?

by Anonymousreply 5805/29/2013

Hey, that's my life story.

by Anonymousreply 104/17/2010

Straight people have affairs. We have fuck buds of varying shades.

by Anonymousreply 204/17/2010

OP, are you in your 60s ?

Who else would use the word 'affair' these days ?

by Anonymousreply 304/17/2010

Is it an affair if you have it while in an open relationship and your partner was aware of it? If yes, then several.

by Anonymousreply 404/17/2010

Many, many, MANY! I've fucked my way all over the world, and enjoyed every fucking minute of it.

by Anonymousreply 504/17/2010

What's worse, an emotional affair or a physical affair?

by Anonymousreply 604/17/2010


by Anonymousreply 704/17/2010


by Anonymousreply 804/17/2010

I can't remember.

by Anonymousreply 904/17/2010


I have also never had a relationship where my partner didn't cheat on me.

(sometimes it was the reason for the breakup, sometimes I only found out afterwards).

I no longer even bother trying to date or find a relationship.

by Anonymousreply 1004/17/2010

Aw r10.

by Anonymousreply 1104/17/2010

I had a fuckbuddy who I knew during his relationships with women as he went from one girlfriend to another. When he got married we started up again after he'd been married for about a year. Then after he got her pregnant he came over a lot.

Haven't seen him in years.

by Anonymousreply 1204/17/2010

OP = Tiger Woods

by Anonymousreply 1304/17/2010

Yes. About 5 years ago I was in a committed relationship with the perfect woman. She was nice-looking, with an incredible body - sexy, smart and funny.

But, I travel a lot because of my job, and can be away from home for months at a time. While on one those hiatuses, I started shacking up with a co-worker, who was great in bed, but completely nuts.

She stalked and threatened my girlfriend and ruined the best relationship I've ever had and probably ever will have. I'll regret it until the day I fucking die.

I'm involved with someone else now, but I still love my ex and probably always will.

by Anonymousreply 1404/17/2010

Ouch, r14.

But, karma.

by Anonymousreply 1504/17/2010

Damn r14. Did your girlfriend drop you immediately after finding out or did she drop you because of the threats by the other woman?

by Anonymousreply 1604/17/2010

She threw me out of the house immediately once she found out about the affair, but I think we could have eventually gotten back together if the psycho gf had stayed out of the picture. She just made her life miserable.

My ex eventually started dating someone else and they're still together. The psycho gf apparently found someone else to direct her attention to - I haven't heard from her in years, thank God.

by Anonymousreply 1704/17/2010

You dykes have the best relationship drama EVER.

by Anonymousreply 1804/17/2010


by Anonymousreply 1904/17/2010

Actually, I know a lot of faggots who could give the lesbians a run for their money in the relationship drama department.

by Anonymousreply 2004/17/2010

[quote]She stalked and threatened my girlfriend and ruined the best relationship I've ever had and probably ever will have.

Oh NO no no. YOU ruined the best relationship you ever had, not the psycho 2nd girlfriend. You don't bump pussies with crazy, especially if you want to keep your "real" girlfriend. And don't act all whiny and scarred for life, honey, because your ex-GF is the one who is really scarred, what with being cheated on and stalked and threatened and all.

by Anonymousreply 2104/17/2010

[quote]Actually, I know a lot of faggots who could give the lesbians a run for their money in the relationship drama department.

Oh, puhleez. All we have is throwing computers out of high rise windows and screaming matches. You all have the stalking, the crazy and the obsessive revenge fantasies that never die.

by Anonymousreply 2204/17/2010

You can get a blowjob in the bathroom at the Abbey? Shit I can't even get a drink there.

by Anonymousreply 2304/17/2010

Hey R14, was the psycho gf's name Ilene or Miggi, by any chance

by Anonymousreply 2404/17/2010

I am proud to say I have had two ltr's in my adult life, and I never cheated on either of them - not even as much as a kiss or a serious flirtation at a party or with a friend or friend of a friend.

I don't know if either cheated on me. I doubt it. I remain friends with both of them to this day. WE talk once or twice a week. I don't want to know, if indeed, that is the case. But I don't really think it is or I would know already.

And lesbian drama is totally different. Men don't obsess and stalk and hold things for years the way fish do. We are just built differently.

by Anonymousreply 2504/17/2010

I was in a LTR and was cheated on by my gf/financee. She had an affair with a co-worker who knew we were together and engaged. It devastated me. Because of the pain it caused me and the way it turned my life upside down, I will never knowingly interfere in someone else's relationship. I will never act on an attraction if the other person is not single. I would never want to inflict that pain on someone after being put through it myself. And if I'm in a relationship, I will get out first. Anybody who gets involved with another persons partner is the lowest form of life.

by Anonymousreply 2604/17/2010

[quote]Anybody who gets involved with another persons partner is the lowest form of life.

It takes two to tango, honey.

by Anonymousreply 2704/17/2010

Yes, it takes 2 to tango. But if you knowingly do it, you are scum.

by Anonymousreply 2804/17/2010

Yes, on my previous partner. Come to find out he was nutzo and toward the end, I had to have some companionship. I've only ever told my best friend, and no one else.

He was a straight/engaged guy. Met online and spent the summer sucking and fucking. He was pretty hot. He got married late that summer, finished law school, and started his life.

Shortly thereafter, I ended my relationship in search of something less insane.

by Anonymousreply 2904/17/2010

R26, you are nice and kind. Because an affair was done to me and shattered my life, I would like to do it to another person.

by Anonymousreply 3004/17/2010

The cheater is responsible for their share of scumminess. And, yes, it takes two people to knowingly engage in an affair.

by Anonymousreply 3104/17/2010

I love the way the fish here want to blame FIRST AND ABOVE ALL, the innocent third party.

The third party has no blame. He is not violating any promise to anyone.

The cheating partner is the bastard, plain and simple. That is the person whose actions directly violate the trust, honesty and partnership.

However, something was missing in the relationship that opened the door for the cheater to leave - and THAT is where it takes two to tango.

If you bitches would take care of your man, none of this would happen.

The truth is, you use sex to grab them, then use it to manipulate them into a miserable life of withholding it knowing full well a man has physical needs.

you think he is going to carry all that lawn shit for you and go with you to furniture sales and lug all that shit and move all that furniture all day, blah, blah, blah, and

Plus listen to all your constant bitching and talking endlessly in circles about your feelings...

Those are your needs and he meets them, then you turn over when its his needs being met...

and you want to blame the person who simply takes care of him.

Well, it does take two to tango, sweetie, and when you arent living up to your end of the dance, you are in sick denial to think you dont have a part in it.

by Anonymousreply 3204/17/2010

R26, I completely agree with you. I've never cheated on anyone before, but I've had it happen to me. And knowing how that felt, well I would never put anyone through that feeling ever.

R30, that's really sad.

by Anonymousreply 3304/17/2010

if you had been satisfying your partner sexually R26 and 33, it would have never happened. It's that simple.

And you can deny it all you want, but you got lazy or fat or bossy, one or all of the three, so your partner left.

There, I said it. And you can flame me if you want, but you know im right.

by Anonymousreply 3404/17/2010

Christ MHB you do you on and on and on and on and on

It's simple... the person who has the most to lose is the one who is responsible for the repercussions.

The lesbian @ r14 is wrong because she knew she was jeopardizing her great loving relationship. She didn't just set up housekeeping she did so with a crazy person. A person she knew was nuts and yet continue anyways. I think the lesbian @ R14 knows and accepts this.

by Anonymousreply 3504/17/2010

R30 here, yes, but I never have, R33.

by Anonymousreply 3604/17/2010

R34 you seem to miss the point, they never left they just cheated. If they were unhappy they they should have left instead of living a big fucking lie. They never gave their partner a choice.

by Anonymousreply 3704/17/2010

EVERYONE STOP! Give me some attention, damn you.

by Anonymousreply 3804/17/2010

im just saying... if wifey would fish-up and do her womanly duties, the hot straight guy over in "My cocksucking exploits with straight buddy of mine"

wouldn't be all up in a bed with with his legs spread and danglin over the edge holdin up a sheet between him and some queen down there

whose gotta endure the indignity of being called "girl" or whatever it is she has to hear while she is milkin her some hard stiff cock.

Bless miss thing on her knees. She's just steppin in where she is needed.

by Anonymousreply 3904/17/2010

I'm miserable

by Anonymousreply 4004/17/2010

Bless you, r40.

by Anonymousreply 4104/17/2010

well, that was sort of embarrassing, wasn't it R38?

by Anonymousreply 4204/17/2010

R34 is right in my case, obviously in retrospect, the "relationship" or whatever it was, was lacking and weak, but that isn't the issue. The issue is when the other partner doesn't have the courage or respect to end it before just cheating.

It isn't fair to put the "non cheating party" at risk for STDs.

by Anonymousreply 4304/17/2010

I was obeyed wasn't I, fish cunt at 43?

by Anonymousreply 4404/17/2010

I have never had an affair and i'm very happy i haven't. I love my bf.

But i've met men in relationships, when I was partnered, that I really wanted to have an affair with.

by Anonymousreply 4504/17/2010

I haven't.

by Anonymousreply 4608/03/2010

What if you are in a sexless partnership of more than 6 years? But do not want to break up the family/social unit and want something on the side?

by Anonymousreply 4705/23/2013

I have, once. I was/am in a long term relationship with someone my own age (40's) who is smart and super successful plus really funny and kind. I started messing around with a very young hot women (20's) who was (I hate to say this but...) rather dumb and not so nice...but ridiculously hot. She was always all over me and complimenting me => like a constant ego boost. I was able to justify it at the time because it was fun and exciting. But as the affair carried on, I started to realize that once the newness faded, it was less exciting and rather tedious. And besides sex, the woman I was having the affair with was no fun. So - I ended it. My partner never found out. The affair woman tried to guilt trip me into resuming the affair but I just ignored her. This will sound sick - but it made me really grateful for the relationship I have. This was years ago and I never strayed again.

by Anonymousreply 4805/23/2013

Exactly my situation, R47. My partner has been suffering from depression and anxiety for years and was finally put on various medications which pretty much killed his sex drive. Add to that all other pressures of daily life and we went on not having sex in any meaningful sense for several years. I met someone and what was supposed to be no strings attached sex, turned into an affair. He was an intelligent, very successful man with whom I had so much in common. Soon, casual sex turned into dates and sleepovers when my partner was out of town. The guy ticked all the boxes on the perfect man checklist but, in the end, I realized I loved my partner too much and we shared so much, both good and bad, to carry on the affair.

by Anonymousreply 4905/23/2013

I AM the affair. . . .to remember!

by Anonymousreply 5005/23/2013


When I'm in love with someone, I'm not immune to other people's looks and charms, but always in a very removed way, with no urge to act upon it. And if the person I'm in love with doesn't color the world in that way, then there's something wrong from the start.

I'm happy on my own and happy being plenty trampy but, like a chemical reaction, both of those things change the few times I've been in love.

by Anonymousreply 5105/23/2013

Yes, but unfortunately he thought we were an item.

Basically I used him as a two year fuck buddy and he made the unpardonable sin of falling in love with me.

One day I just moved out of state.

He didn't take it well. Was pretty confused and hurt, but I wanted it to be over between us.

by Anonymousreply 5205/23/2013

Thanks R49 - I met someone recently as well- but not sure if the other person is even interested.

But have some DELUSION that I can maintain both relationships my primary non sexual one and the secondary one. I stumbled on this Private Affairs board and there are lots of threads that make this seem feasible.

However, I posted my scenario on DL knowing I would get a quick call to reality.

by Anonymousreply 5305/23/2013

They were my destinies!!!!

by Anonymousreply 5405/23/2013

[quote]Oh NO no no. YOU ruined the best relationship you ever had, not the psycho 2nd girlfriend. You don't bump pussies with crazy, especially if you want to keep your "real" girlfriend. And don't act all whiny and scarred for life, honey, because your ex-GF is the one who is really scarred, what with being cheated on and stalked and threatened and all.

Exactly. No sympathy for the cheater who lost the "love of her life".

by Anonymousreply 5505/23/2013

Spuds isn't going to answer this thread, Francis, so you'll have to.

by Anonymousreply 5605/25/2013

Shoot! I don't even know where to find an affair. oh well.

by Anonymousreply 5705/29/2013
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