My Fat Daughter is having pregnancy cravings

How many kids does this fat cunt have to have, anyway? This is number 3. Her first two are named Liberty and Clover.

I hope she tries to order Mexican food with a straight face, and I hope the server or the cook throws hot beans right in her face. She can eat it off the floor like the MAGA trash she is.

Raw Oysters? Go for it - how about some sushi and a bottle of sake? Treat yo self!

As R2's mother used to say, "During pregnancy, you're allowed one bottle of wine a day, and that's it!"

R3 - exactly - and cigarettes help to keep the pregnancy weight down. That's just science.

[quote]Her first two are named Liberty and Clover.

Those are cow names. My late grandmother (b. 1902) had a Jersey named Clover. My late Aunt Mamie (b. 1913) had one named Bertie.

Which in Cindy's Fat Daughter's case is apropos considering she's a BIG OL' HEFFA.

Over/under this new kid's name: Bessie or Elsie? If it's a boy, Angus. Or Sir Loin, 'cuz that's fancy--from the French, y'know.

Her poor underwear. I can only imagine the stench.

I thought I felt some tremors this morning. It makes sense, this fat heifer was hangry and stomping her hooves.

Unfortunately, we will all have to endure months of My Fat Daughter’s pregnancy cravings, until it is born.

When My Fat Daughter was last pregnant, she had a craving for Trader Joe’s Mozzarella Sticks. My Fat Daughter demanded her fat husband lumber down to Trader Joe’s and get her 8 bags of them, STAT.

Unfortunately, she woke up at 3am with this craving. My fat son-in-law pleaded with her to go back to sleep, he would go buy them as soon as the store opened, but My Fat Daughter would have none of it.

After hissing some vicious insults at my fat son-in-law-about his manhood and his mother-My Fat Daughter waddled out to the driveway.

My Fat Daughter got into her car-the Chevy Suburban with the turrets on the fenders, the Arizona flag on the hood, and John’s face in vinyl on the side-and drove to Trader Joe’s, where she rammed the Suburban right through the front doors.

My Fat Daughter was uninjured-her bulk is like an extra set of airbags.

My Fat Daughter waddled out of the Suburban, grabbed all of the mozzarella sticks out of the freezer and a couple of cheesecakes for good measure, and drove home.

The McCain Family had to pay $8 million to Trader Joe’s to repair the storefront.

It is times like these, that I wish I were still taking pills.

Sigh.

R8 Your Fat Daughter is the sole reason the tariffs on Mexico are taking so long.

That will mean slower production of frozen appetizers like this, and SHE WON'T HAVE IT! DON'T YOU KNOW WHO HER DEAD FATHER WAS???

Ambassadress how do you deal with the odors that emit from your fat daughter and your hog eyed son in law?

My Fat Daughter has lobbied the White House for tariff exemptions for frozen appetizers. My Fat Daughter will turn on Donald Trump in an instant if she can’t readily get frozen pigs in a blanket or fried cheese.

R10-I keep the house at 60 degrees; every inch of my home has some mechanism for reducing odor-candles, fans, potpourri, Glade Plug Ins, Febreze- you name it, the McCain house has it. The fans in my bathrooms are industrial strength, like the ones in a factory, they can suck up any unpleasant odor quickly. Lastly, the McCain family are angel investors in Lume, that helps when My Fat Daughter is on the go.

When all else fails, I will just spray My Fat Daughter with a hose. She will scream and wail if she’s eating when I do this (which is most of the time), but I just promise to buy My Fat Daughter 6 dozen more Domino’s Pepperoni and Mushroom pizzas when it is over, and that keeps her quiet, as the toxic cloud of odor floats away from the McCain homestead, and over the Phoenix metropolitan area.

[quote] Her poor underwear. I can only imagine the stench.

That's okay, I wasn't hungry today anyway R6.

Amb. Cindy/R8, you forgot to post the incriminating footage.

My mistake r13!

My Fat Daughter bears a more than passing resemblance to the Kool Aid man. They have the same jumbo sized hips and lack of a neck.

My Fat Daughter once burst through the wall of the kitchen like that. She was 10 and the cook was baking a Black Forest Cake. When it comes to baked goods, My Fat Daughter can move from 0-60 faster than a Lamborghini.

Dear Lord. I told Cindy to remove that poor thing's uterus

oink oink magat

What a fat whore

I have two things in common with her: I was on the View and I’m a bitch.

She wants carne asada burros? Like, the whole damn donkey? And more than one?

What a heifer!

My Fat Daughter has already been shunned by the mommy groups of Professional DC - and that’s a rare feat! She’s been telling people she uses a private nanny for security reasons, but actually, the Center had to ban her because she kept upending the snack fridge to eat all of the children’s snacks in one desperate gulp. The other mothers were terrified of her, and her loud “Live Tweets” made it impossible for the children to sleep at naptime.

My Fat Daughter’s husband can’t afford private tutors on a gay waiter’s salary, so I had to pay out of the family beer fortune. It’s another nibble out of My Fat Daughter’s inheritance, but the doctor did say to take smaller bites!

My Fat Daughter still loves to take her children to the playground, however. There are so many unguarded lunchboxes! And even if a sprog gets to open his own meal, a husky word from My Fat Daughter about who her father was sends the child running, and she gorges on the food scattered in the sand.

I was wondering where my sandwich went. Those Republicans sure love to steal!

Meghan, you’re not welcome in our Mommy and Me group! JUST LEAVE!

I want to marry R8!

My Fat Daughter and her fat husband were just in Arizona last week, according to their social media. They seem to be back home in the DC area. My fat daughter seems to allude that they live in Northern Virginia. Their local Trader Joe's will be filled with liberals. They should stick to conservative safe havens like Olive Garden.

R23 I already told you, they can't afford chain restaurants on a homosexual waiter's salary!

My Fat Daughter had no suitors after NBC cancelled "The Biggest Loser," so she had to marry something called a GBF. Personally, I don't grasp it. I thought the homosexuals took care of their bodies!

R24, perhaps Jillian Michaels can help My Fat Daughter lose weight. Jillian used to be a trainer on the Biggest Loser. She's married to a woman, and she adopted a daughter from Haiti. Now she's a MAGA influencer; last month she wrote a Daily Mail article complaining about Pride lasting for a whole month instead of just a day.

It's easy to see why Jillian transitioned from targeting the severely obese to targeting MAGAs. Those two target audiences have a lot of overlap. Maybe Jillian can give Megan tips on weight loss. Now they MAGA recognized Jillian as one of the "good ones" of the LGBT crowd. And she will make sure her Haitian daughter doesn't eat any of their cats and dogs.