Random crazy shit that has happened to you

Looking for a Visa and meal ticket from American man. Gotta hand it to those gals -- they're nothing if not persistent.

My sister bought a painting at and estate sale about 10 yrs ago for $500. Turns out it's worth $50k.

[quote]My sister bought a painting...

Wow. That's so crazy that happened to YOU, R2.

I met William Shatner at an auto show. He complimented my hair ((?!) and then a member of his entourage approached me and said that Mr. Shatner would like for me to meet him behind the curtained divider when he took his break. I was too weirded out to follow through; though I still can't imagine that this was any kind of sexual overture. But this certainly lives up to the title occurrence for me.

When I was a film writer, Shatner randomly brought me up in an interview he was giving at one of his horse shows. I emailed the interviewer to ask if he'd asked Shatner anything about me specifically, and he said no, Shatner just brought me up, then started talking about Twitter.

Not as good as r4's story but Shatner-related, so I thought I'd share.

[quote]She was dressed like a green fairy

We prefer the term gay, thank you very much.

I’ve had a lot of random crazy shit happen to me. Here’s two:

Visiting San Diego with a friend in the early 2000’s, we headed down to the Gaslamp Qtr for dinner/drinks and got lost. Driving down some random street that didn’t seem too sketchy, a very fat black woman came running toward our car and grabbed the door handle on the passenger side to open it (thanks auto-lock). She was wearing just a bra (no idea what she had on for pants/shorts) and had curlers in her hair, and was screaming angrily at us, like she knew who we were. We sped off, mildly freaked out. Later, after a few drinks, we laughed about it. But what the fuck?

Another time, years and years ago, I was pulled over in a rural-ish area near (or in) an army post near where I lived, by military police. Everyone cut through the post (pre 9/11) to get to the mall and stores/restaurants we didn’t have in our sad little town. Pulled over…at gun point. Then swarms and swarms more MPs, guns drawn. “Hands up. Turn off the vehicle. Slowly remove ignition key…” the usual stuff. Only when I slowly got out and they got a good look at me, did they realize I wasn’t even a close match to whomever they thought they’d nabbed. It was the early 90’s, I was in college home for the summer and had hippie college kid hair: all one length down to my shoulders, and was wearing one of those hemp or whatever, off-white hoodie things everyone wore. So obviously I was the wrong guy. Scared the shit out of me, but pissed me off because they weren’t like, “Hey, sorry, wrong guy” (not that they would). They just said, “You can go… GO! NOW!”

I amlost got attacked by football hooligans in London on 1987. Luckily a taxi pulled up and I shopped in.

I was subletting on the upper east side of Manhattan for a while. One evening a naked, incoherent old lady was roaming the halls. A neighbor, who must have been familiar with her situation, eventually yanked her inside.

[quote]I amlost got attacked by football hooligans in London on 1987. Luckily a taxi pulled up and I shopped in.

In my experience, those lads don’t take kindly to the DL tradition of lifting your caftan and presenting hole. Odd, that lot.

I randomly got upgraded to First Class on a BA transatlantic flight. I was massively hungover and slept nearly the whole flight in the pod.

1995 I was waiting for my flight in the passenger waiting area at the Munich airport. Sitting close to the windows were a couple of stewardess and a stewart talking amongst themselves. I had this overwhelming feeling I knew who the male stewart was but could not put my finger on it, so I walked over to the trio and said to him he looked familiar to me. He recognized me as we were condo neighbors living across the hallway from each other. Once I got in the plane and seated he arranged for me to sit in first class.

I recently had a car accident. No one hurt. As cops were taking statements and tow trucks were called the scene was randomly and separately witnessed by my friend and my hair stylist!

No one hurt what, R13?

Ran into Zach Tinker on the street.

I decided to take 5 months off in between jobs. That happened during the spring and summer of 2019. I could not have planned that better myself! So the summer before Covid, I basically lived like a kid going to summer camp. Going on field trips, sitting by the pool, reading books, and doing little projects taught me I can live fine without work when I get to retirement age.

I was in the grocery store and a woman was at the case with fruit juice blocking my way. She took forever, like 5 seconds, actually, before she decided what to buy. I was pushing my cart down an aisle when the woman ahead of me stopped suddenly and I almost ran into her, the same woman. I’m in the parking lot and backing my car out and another car hits me and, yes, it was the same woman!

This thread is ripe for ESTs.

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis slapped me in the face with her winter scarf.

She was ahead of me going through a revolving door and when she got out, she stopped, flung the scarf back and whacked me. If she realized she hit me, she never acknowledged it.

In one of my first acupuncture appointments with a new practicioner I told them not to leave me in the room with the needles in for more than 10 mins because I would get claustrophobic. Well, I was in there forever. I got super pissed off and pulled all the needles out, got dressed and stormed out. The practicioner was nowhere in sight. I planned to carry on with my day and went to get a few groceries and my cell phone rings. The acupuncture doc asked where did I go? I said you left me in there too long! Apparently I was the only patient who ever ran away.

My high school graduation was on this huge football field. We all got in this one really long line and were standing in our caps and gowns waiting to walk on. The young man in front of me turns , looks down and says..."You're standing in dog shit." And indeed I was. I thought on this entire huge football field, *I* managed to step in the pile of dog shit. I thought it was just a symbolic statement from the universe about my high school years.

I got a call from my video store that someone had found my wallet in the parking lot. That person, who turned out to be Tucson's best-known transvestite, Tatiana, wanted to give it back to me in person (i.e. wanted a reward). When I went down there, he/she was 40ish (I was 20) and had BO. She asked me to give her a ride to town and I did and she talked about floating in the air and looking down on everyone. She gave me her number and I lied and said I had a girlfriend. She just about started sobbing and asked me to let her out "here" and as she got out, said, "no one can know how difficult it is for someone like me".

Christmas time in a packed grocery store at the meat counter. I accidentally hit a lady with my cart and she immediately started howling like she was dying. I apologized profusely and as I was going down another aisle I felt a cart ramming my ankles. I was wearing boots so it didn't hurt but I turned around and the lady I'd hit had a look of rage and kept bumping me. I said something like "crazy bitch" and turned back around trying to ignore her. She started screaming like a banshee "you fucking asshole", I turned around and calmly stated I had apologized and what else did she need from me and she continued screaming until a manager popped up from around a corner where upon she took off.

Two years living in St. Louis. The place did not impress me. Depressing and full of depressed, angry people.

R22 did you give Tatiana a reward or was the ride to town the reward?

R24 - I gave Tatiana $40, which was a lot for me back then. I had to take her to my bank to make the withdrawal then to her bank so she could deposit it and then to town, where she got out. I just found her picture in the university yearbook - manly, but not ugly. I also discovered she died two years ago, age 72.

Poor thing. She looks very gentle.

[quote]He complimented my hair ((?!) and then a member of his entourage approached me and said that Mr. Shatner would like for me to meet him behind the curtained divider when he took his break

Do you wear a hairpiece, R4, or maybe your hair looked like a hairpiece back then? I suspect he thought you had a great hairpiece and wanted the name of "your guy."

Or maybe blowjobs...

Christmas eve about seventeen years ago my bf and I and a coworker of his all ended up at the home of an elder gay. The elder gay got on the floor and my bf and his coworker piled up on him and started wrestling and dry-humping each other. I just stood there dumbfounded. When they all got up the elder gay says to me how lucky I was to have my bf. He was right I was lucky! I just wonder how he arrived at that hypothesis.

some of this shit is pretty stupid

Dry humping in Christmas Eve! Well I never!!

Lots of weird things have happened to me—but this is the first that came to mind:

I was walking along the Wharf in SF and a German woman stopped me and began speaking to me in German. I assume she was trying to ask for directions or some touristy question.

I stopped her and said I don’t speak German.

She looked shocked (and obviously understood English) and responded “But you ARE German!”

“No, I’m American.”

“But you LOOK German!”

“But I’m American.”

This back and forth continued for several rounds until she ended the conversation abruptly and marched off, clearly still convinced that I was German

Which I’m not!

Germans never believe you!

Hear is some lasagna for you.

What?! shove it up your ass!

WTF is the problem with lasagna?!

If you don’t know by now, you never will.

I married a showgirl!

(doorbell rings)

Oh god I hate it when people come over to my house! What do you want?

I’m selling frozen pizzas for the school sports association.

You get the fuck off of my property right now you little bastard!

R11 misunderstood the assignment.

[quote]and a stewart talking amongst themselves. I had this overwhelming feeling I knew who the male stewart

Stewart? Like Stewart Smalley?

Didn’t you take a hint from the word stewardess?

I was once drunk and trying to find the restroom in a big restaurant. I bumped into a cook while he was holding a gigantic vat of mayonnaise. He dropped it, and it spelled everywhere - it was horrifying. I tried to help him clean it up, and the manager made me leave because I only made things worse. I will never forget the look of horror and despair on the poor guy's face as I was watching him while being removed.

I was sitting in an empty carriage on the Tube, when a man with bright orange hair got on and sat next to me. He asked,

“Do you like Julie Andrews?” “I love Julie Andrews. “ “What are your favourite Julie Andrews films? “ And so on.

I got off at the next station even though it was inconvenient taking care I wasn’t being followed. Fucking bampot.

If it was Duke's R38, then no great loss.

R39 Not quite

I have the converse of that story, R31. My WASP brother, with thick dark hair, who could possibly be considered Hispanic, was told at the end of a flight by his seatmate, and I'm NOT making this up: "I would have spoken with you, but I didn't think you understood English."

I was stopped a red light and a bird just plopped out of the sky, dead. The weirdest part was that my brain kept disbelieving that it had happened. There was the bird, dead in the intersection, there was me, and there was my brain with, “Did that just happen??”

[quote]I was sitting in an empty carriage on the Tube,

[quote]Fucking bampot.

I love this whole post.

R43, I swear I wasn’t even in the area that day!

I got on the subway (NYC) and grabbed a seat, glad to get one at express hour. But this guy who looked homeless was sitting across from me— and was “wearing” a lobster on his head. The claws were still moving slightly. He looked drunk, too. People who got on the train stayed well clear of him, but I kept my nose buried in a book, hoping he wouldn’t bother me.

Of course he did.

As I got off at my stop, he stood up, swaying, and said with disgust: “ oh, you’re all alike, afraid of a little ole lobster!” I cracked up but made sure he wasn’t going to follow me.

This was on a hot summer day so that lobster was going to stink big time.

One time in a rental in Cocoa Beach, Fla I was watching tv and had a feeling I was being stared at. I looked over by the chair and saw a little head staring at me. It was a lizard.

I was once in a store buying a pack of cigarettes.In the brief verbal exchange we had I was involuntarily throwing my voice so it sounded like it was coming from a metre away.The guy behind the counter freaked out in a panic and was shouting, "how did you do that?" I was weirded out too.I've no idea how it happened but it's not occured since.I'd love to know the science behind the phenomena.

I met a nice-looking guy at a club.

We went back to his car in the parking lot, where we proceeded to make out and do some coke.

Not sure why, but the coke made us both get kind of belligerent with each other, and he wound up telling me to leave.

I just ignored him and continued doing coke. I didn't say it out loud, but I was letting him know that I would leave only when I was good and ready.

After a while, I left. Drove home, got in bed, turned on the TV, and started watching the news.

This was at the height of the "freeway shooter" phenomenon in L.A., when seemingly all of a sudden, people started shooting each other on the freeway practically every day.

So, up comes a report about a freeway shooter. The news crew is interviewing the shooter as he's sitting in the back seat of the patrol car, handcuffed...and it's none other than the guy with whom I'd just been making out, doing coke, and arguing.

Apparently he was kinda racist, because he referred to the guy he (allegedly) shot at as a "black pervert".

I suppose you could say I dodged a bullet with that one.

Weird thing is, not long after, I saw him again as we were both leaving a club, and he tried to talk to me. I just ignored him, and he said, all queeny, "ay, I GUESS..."

I was how you say "lesbian model" in Slovenia counting my misfortunes on fingers and toes, when my mudder tole me someone reech in America was interested in my 'mail order bride' ad. I fly to Manhattan and tie knot wit reech man and he grab my poosy, and then I become how you say first girl in 2016.

One St. Patrick’s Day in the early 1990s while I was still in my 20s I went to the Townhouse Bar. I was pursued by the oldsters, but fell into clique with three other guys in their twenties. We ended up going back to one of their apartments for a fourgy, two of us billed as tops and two of us, including me, a bottoms. The two tops tried to fuck the other bottom, but couldn’t, so I had to, yes Vers does exist. Nonetheless we had a great time and we became two separate couples and I dated my guy for more than two years.

Get your hand out of there!

It’s MY snack drawer!!

I bumped into a very tall older man at the CVS on Lovers Lane in Dallas. He dropped a box of Robitussin, and a bag of Halls cough drops. I immediately apologized, and bent down to pick the items up. I hear an English accent tell me, "not to worry, lad", I look up, and it was Mick Fleetwood. My partner watched this unfold wide eyed. We theorized he was in town visiting Don Henley who lives not too far from that CVS.

Ten years ago I went to a party at a friend's place where I met a woman who claimed to work at SNL as an assistant to Marci Klein. She regaled me with stories about SNL and Marci and then gave me her card and said to email her for tickets. The card was clearly self printed and her email address was "@snlstaff.com," which she'd clearly registered herself. When I Googled her, I found she'd commented on the Facebook pages of several celebrities telling them to email her at the same bogus email address if they wanted to host SNL. Seriously bonkers. I just Googled her now and found a page (full of typos, of course) where she talks about being a writer for SNL and now seems to also be hyphenating her last name with Klein!

At the same party I met a deaf girl who was stranded in Manhattan because of subway issues (this was shortly after Sandy, after all) and was desperate to get home to Brooklyn. I was between jobs at the time, but felt so bad that I gave her $40 to take a cab home. After I put her in the taxi, I watched as it got to the corner and turned uptown instead of downtown towards Brooklyn. Later, the guy who brought her to the party said he thought she was hard of hearing but faked being fully deaf for sympathy. Again, totally fucking bonkers.

You grandpa fucker!!

Have we yet to quantify the number of “This never happened” posts?

R54 TL;DR

I was going to the post office to mail some things for my work, I had to pass Independence Hall in Philadelphia, and they had strict rules for security near the building which was put in place after 9/11. A car driving past me and the Hall suddenly stopped ( a no-no), and a guy dressed as the Geico lizard and some chubby woman got out and the police across the street began shouting at them. The car had moved on but the Geico lizard and the woman ran down the sidewalk to catch their car. The Asian tourists had a field day with their cameras, the Geico guy had big lizard feet so he had a hard time running. One of the funniest things I've seen.

R54 man did they see you a mile away or what.

About 25 years ago I was driving my piece of shit Subaru (I know…dykes and Subarus!) on a major thoroughfare in Albuquerque when all of a sudden it stalled and died. Fortunately I had time to pull into a left-turn only lane, where I turned on my hazard lights and called AAA to come tow my car to my mechanic’s shop. While I waited for them, I got out of my car and sat on the curb of the median, smoking a cigarette. Less than five minutes later, a pickup truck pulled out of a side street into oncoming traffic and crashed into another car, flipping it end over end, not five feet from where I was sitting. Pretty freaky. Amazingly, no one in the flipped car was seriously hurt.

So the majority of these 'random crazy shit scenarios', involve cruising strangers for sex. Never change DLers, never change.

I was walking in the street late at night and tripped over the pavement and badly grazed a leg with blood streaming down. I got up and continued walking and saw two ambulances drive by me. One stopped and the attendants came back to me offering to clean my wound. But they couldn't have seen my injury from the back?

i was with my german friend and her bitchy mom at the mall. a friend came up to us and said "hey bitch". she high-fived us and walked on by. my german friend's mom immediately said to us in her german accent "who dat bitch"?!!

R27 I can hear William Shatner speaking to his entourage now “He's a fag, right? See if you can get him to give me a bow job.”

Rupert Everett and I blew William Shatner and Alain Delon in a hotel room in Geneva in the late 1980s.

When I was at Princeton a really creepy looking guy would break (or walk) into student housing and steal stuff. He was repeatedly turned over to the police but kept coming back. I turned him in myself whenI came across him stealing stuff from the common areas. So he knew who I was. In the early 90s within the first week of moving into NYC I was walking in Times Square and who should pass right in front of me while criss-crossing the street but that guy. I was totally freaked out!

I’ve never run across him sense,

^ since

I've been in a consensual sexual relationship with my dad since I was sixteen years old. Never thought it was 'crazy shit' until the press heard about it five years ago when I was 36. They told me it was 'crazy shit'.

R38 tl;dr + not random or crazy.

I'm guessing that R4 is a woman. R4 is the poster who William Shatner requested a private audience with.

R53 Back in early Jan 1996 I was at Kinko Kopies on Oak Lawn Ave in Dallas and this guy asked me if I could help him with one of the machines. I looked at him and said , "Are you Don Henley". He said "shhhh" because he didn't want the other customers to hear. When I went to my car I turned the engine on and out of my radio was an Eagles song at the exact moment he was walking out and waved bye to me. To top that off his SUV was parked next to my vehicle.

This happened at a casino in Ohio. My former partner and I were walking through a casino behind this old lady, and some guy I assume was her adult son. Anyway, out of nowhere the old lady turns to her son and says, "I told him to eat shit and die, motherfucker!" I thought I was going to fall over laughing right there. We made sure she didn't hear us laughing lest she turn her anger on us.

I was molested at Hardees

I knew this odd guy, through a friend. He invited a fellow 9/11 truther to his boyfriend's birthday party. He warned us she would be bringing a doll with her, but he didn't say it was 6 feet tall. This was a full-size man doll, handmade with a face drawn on, wearing clothes. She introduced "him" to me, so I shook "his" hand and said hello. Eventually she left "him" sitting on the sofa and went outside. I felt "him" up and he was packing a nice-sized dick. Such a sad scene, I still feel bad for her.

I ran into Anthony Kiedis' lost personal chef (a lovely older Irish lady) at a campground and helped her find her way back to her group site.

I thought all the stories had to tie back to St. Patrick’s Day, but mine is the only one that has?

R76 No darling. Just your own personal crazy shit anecdote. St. Patrick's Day is happenstance.

There are too many Don Fucking Henley posts on this thread. He is a scum bag scourge who should never be spoken of.