Larry King’s Kirstie Alley Tribute Show

Kirstie had big shoes to fill, replacing Shelly Winters on "Cheers.," wouldn't you say, Ted?

Next up is George Takei, who doesn’t remember co-starring with Kristy in Star Wars Two, but fortunately he’ll show up for anything.

We're trying to get Orson Bean on the line to comment on the passing of his lovely wife.

I’ve never been to Kirstie’s alley. I think I heard it’s in New York City somewhere in the theater district. Next up we will have a comment from Della Street.

We've got Jane Curtin!

Jane, what was it like working with Ms. Alley on your show about two divorced women living with their kids in New York?

Billy Joel is on the line to talk about the death of his ex, Kirstie Brinkley. Billy, are you disappointed that she got big as a house? I guess the profits from those Jenny Craig commercials went straight to Ho-Hos and Ding-Dongs, amirite? And why are they called Ding-Dongs anyway? They don't look like any penis I've ever seen.

Hold that thought while we bring you this word from Mazola. You call it corn, they call it Willie Mays.

Some poor woman named Kirstie died in an alley. So sad when that happens.

I hear she was in the closet with someone named Veronica.

And then she was founded in an alley.

Was the closet near the alley? Or did she travel a long distance to get from one to the other?

And what happens to the closet now that she's not living in it any longer? Will they scatter her ashes in the closet?

Living in a closet and dying in a alley. #SAD.

The nation's flags are at half mast tonight as America mourns the passing of a legend. She was a fat actress and a hell of a hoofer. Keerstie Alley has died at 81. Sending off dearly departed Keerstie, Countess Vanessa Redgrave joins us, via satellite to talk about the woman known as Jenny Craig. Countess, hello! You starred alongside Kirstie in TOOTHY, your first foray into motion pictures since Georgie Girl. Was that a troubled production? I gotta ask ya, Countess, since you knew her best: the circumstances around Mrs. Craig's death are suspicious to say the least. Could her daughter Tatianna be responsible for her tumble down the ski slope? Hold that thought Countess, we have to go to a quick commercial break and when we return Delta Burke will regale us with tales of Keerstie and the plus sized world of 80s television. But first, a word from our friends at Garlique.

Coming up next, the star who just might be the new Kirstie Alley, Delta Burke. To play us to the break, The Lawrence Welk Orchestra and the Too Fat Polka.

And we have a caller from Cheyenne, Wyoming. You're on with Kristy Swanson, the frozen foods heiress who just survived a HARROWING night in an alley!

TURN DOWN YOUR RADIO!!!

Coming up after the break, we talk to Shaun Cassidy about giving Kirstie "the big one."

And we're back, folks. We couldn't get Shaun Cassidy on the air, but we have now, via satellite, Sean Young. She worked with the deceased on four seasons of McHale's Navy, I understand.

And now please welcome the great singer Miss Connie Francis...

to talk about her unfortunate experience, Connie you were raped, and how was Kirstie involved?

Were you two in an alley together when it happened?

Connie Francis: Larry, I was raped in a goddamned Howard Johnson's motel - and Kirstie Alley wasn't even there, although the guy was big like her. I already told all this to your producer.

Larry: Folks, the legendary Ethel Merman!

Larry: Ethel you were married to the great Ernest Borgnine who was a great big hairy fat person, like Kirstie Alley; how else were they similar?

Ethel: Well Larry, Ernie and I were married for only about a month, but I'd have to say that Ernie had better hygiene and he was...well, he wasn't exactly pleasant, but he didn't go on and on about that L. Ron Hubbard shit, if you know what I mean.

Joining us next is singer Bob Seeger who has a personal connection with Kirstie. He wrote his biggest hit "Night Moves" about her. But it was a relationship that ultimately went bad.

"And we'd steal away every chance we could

To the backroom, alleys or trusty woods

I used her, she used me but neither one cared

We were gettin' our share, workin' on our night moves"

After the break, the wonderful singer Claudine Longet will dedicate a medley of her greatest hits to the late Kirstie Alley.

And next Lorna Luft, the daughter of Judy Garland and a wonderful, talented performer in her own right, will tell us about her memories of Kirstie...

And now representing young Hollywood, Miss Joey Heatherton!

Joey, wonderful to see you again.

It's hard to believe Crusty's dead. I swear I saw her at the Macy's Parade and she was floating on air. Liza?

Well, gosch, Larry... I didn't schee the parade. I wasch passched out after Michael gave me a Pumpkin Pie Old Fashioned!

Now Fox News host Tucker Carlson:

Tucker you have an interesting theory about Kirstie's death I understand.

Tucker Carlson: Larry, Kirstie was on my show complaining about the militant gays and drag queens who are trying to groom and recruit our children. And now Kirstie is DEAD. What would make that happen? Larry, I can tell you that Kirstie looked perfectly healthy on the monitor...the part of her that I could see on the monitor.

Now let's hear from honky-tonk angel Lynn Anderson.

Lynn, I understand you toured Alaska with Kirstie in 1970. Expand on that!

"Larry, she couldn't sing for shit, but those fishermen were so mesmerized by her jiggly watusi dancing that Emmylou Harris and Tommy Tune were able to sneak in the back and raid the cloakroom during every show. It's the only way we made any fuckin' money on that tour! But, I beg your pardon. I never promised my crew a rose garden!"

Next up, he went from set designer on Veronica's Closet to coming out of his own closet. Jared Goldstein on how it was working with Kristie back in the 90s.

Lindsay Lohan is with us folks. She is going to talk to us how Kristie helped her break addiction 20 years after their hit film, Parent Trap.

And we want to thank our sponsor, California Closets. We'll be right back!

William Shatner! You worked with Kristy Olay on one of your early "Star Wars" movies. What is it like for you now bidding your fond and final "Live Love Laugh and Prosper" to your beloved Major Uhura?

Larry: "Fat pussy, Parker?"

Parker: "I beg your pardon?"

Larry: "Come on. I'll bet those lips looked like side pillows on a cripple's bed." Oh, I'm getting the signal for a break.

"And now a word from Garlique."

Coming up Vince Gill, Amy Grant and one of the Gatlin brothers not named Larry talk about the legendary Gospel singer Kirstie Lane.

Gatlinburg, Tennessee: You're speaking now with Gene Simmons, the brave transsexual socialite who famously poisoned the Scarsdale Diet doctor, and went on to work with Kirstie Alley in the robot thriller "Runaway." Mr. Simmons, tell us some stories from the set!

I have to agree that changing her name from "Krusty Alley" really helped her catch the eye of Miss David Cabbage.

Which meant the world to her. But, God, could that woman sweat.

Oh.

AndnowawordfromGeritolJunior!

Cut! CUT!

Is KATE AND ALLIE out on laser disc yet? The ladies on that program were sensational!

Famed coroner Dr. Thomas Nagouchi joins us. Doc, when you're that big a star, do the elastic marks come out of your skin after death?

Johnathan Demme is with us,

Larry: in 1999, you considered the actress to star in film about Catherine Martin's plight in Buffalo Bill's dungeon.

Shelley Long refused to come and won’t make a statement about the woman who took her place on Cheers.

We're pausing our interview with Kari Lake to announce this breaking news: Muhamad Ali has died. I believe we have his wife Christie on the phone...

Joining us now is LAM Meredith Baxter who was related to Kristy. You two were Family? Sisters, correct?

So what was she like in real life. Was she as perky and lesbian-like as you were on the show?

And we're back. Now as you have as you might have heard, Kristie was a Scientologist. Just what IS a scientologist you ask? We have Ridley Scott on the line to tell us all about Xenomorphs!

Lorna in Culver City you’re on the line…

You say you were what now?

We have Shelly Miscavige on the line. Hello Shelly! Shelly! Shelly are you there?

Oh Larry, Kirshtie wash tremendoshly fabulush!

Kirstie was fabulous in Family and Empty Nest.

Coming up after the break, we'll have Park Overall and David Leisure to talk about working with her.

On the line we have Charlie Sheen. How was it working with Kristy in The Chase? And please tell us more about your struggles with addiction, right after we hear from our sponsor, Miralax.

George Takei on the line. You appeared with Kirstie Alley in the Star Trek movies, where she played a humpback whale in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. How was working with Leonard Nimoy, this time behind the camera?

Diane Lane and Picabo Street join us now to share their memories of the late great Kirstie Alley.

Look Whosh SHINGING!

Coming up after the break: We've got Neil deGrasse Tyson, here to share an insider's view on the loss of a great scientist, Kirstie Alley.

On the line, Kirstie's ex husband, Ray Parker, Jr. Ray, what was on the Raydio when you got the news?

"Well, Larry, it's a good fuckin' thing Kirstie wasn't on that hill. Her fat ass would've crushed Jack AND Jill!"

Lead Remedy's on the line.

George? George who? George [italic]WENT[/italic]? Went where? Cheers? So now we’re toasting this guy because he’s gone?

We'll be right back with Woodley Hammerstein who co starred with Kristy on the hit tv show CHAIRS. And we're still trying to get Dave McCabbage on the phone to talk about Kristy's great support of the religion that he and Ted Cruz are such a big part of. But first a word from Faux Viagray.....

We're getting a live shot of the alley where Little Kristie was last seen.

Folks. It's a sad night here at Larry King Live.

One of the greats is gone. Someone HUGE has departed this earth. He was one of the GIANTS.

Governor Chris Christie was found dead in an alley.

What a horrible place to die. In an alley with rats running around and garbage all over the place.

Chris, the world had great hopes for you. So sorry it had to end this way.

Debbie Reynolds will tell her fond memories of Kirstie, even though they never met.

R32 the house they showed as Kate and Allie's is 72 Bank Street. Home of Marian Tanner, the real "Auntie Mame."

Up next, we have Jacob Spillow calling in to take us back to the early days of his collaboration with Kirstie—his onetime paramour and the first black woman to dance in the Berkshires—and the formation of the Kirstie Alley American Dance Theater. Becket, you on the line? Jacob? Becket?

Hold on, a note from the producer…

Hold on…

Hold on…

The producer is telling me that it’s actually Kirstie’s twin sister, Kirstie Dunst, on the phone. You there, Kirstie? How are you and Fred holding up? Before you start, let me say that I was very sorry to hear about your dad, Robert. What a mensch. May his memory be a blessing.