Let's Be: People on Public Transit

I'm the young punk who won't get up for the two old ladies standing in front of him, one of who has a cane.

We're the very numerous assholes who've never been taught that subway stations/bus stops are NOT:

1. Public gambling halls 2. Neighborhood social centers 3. Public bathrooms 4. Backdrops for your "art" i.e. graffiti 5. Drug distribution centers 6. Playgrounds/baby sitters for bored, frustrated teenagers 7. The neighborhood town dump

i’m the inevitable person who sits gobbling takeout food with their bare hands after touching numerous fecal coated surfaces.

It's just common courtesy to thank the driver, OP; plenty of New Yorkers do so.

[quote] We're the British tourists thanking the driver as we get off the bus.

I do that in D.C. Especially when I ring for a stop.

Don't you thank the flight attendants when you disembark a plane? Courtesy - so cheap and easy.

I'm the guy in the suit and tie whose license was suspended over a DUI yet who tells everyone he's taking the bus because his car is in the garage.

Ugh R6.

That cut DEEP.

I'm the person who falls asleep and misses his stop and then has to get off and back on the other direction.

I'm the old lady with her shopping trolley you're sitting uncomfortably next to because you haven't got the nerve to plunk yourself down next to the cute guy on the other side.

R7 I'm your cousin. When travelling I always miss my stop too, because I refuse to ask anyone where I should get off. Would make me seem like a stranger in those parts.

I'm the manspreader on the subway. Male and proud of it!

I'm the guy who didn't pay his fare. Driver didn't say a thing. They never do.

What's it to you? Fuck off.

.

You never see me. You don't know I'm there. Not until.you're walking away from the bus and check for your wallet.

I am the pickpocket.

I'm the inevitable crazy person babbling shit.

Others sit there silently hating me, but don't say anything.

I’m the spilled monster drink rolling, leaking neon, rolling, rolling.

I’m the group of jiggling, big-booty women in thong bikinis, twerking and sliding on a greased-down tarp as our BFs upload videos to WorldStar of us cavorting and having simulated sex with a blind passenger’s German shepherd.

I'm the cunt sitting three seats away who has her phone on speaker the entire time, listening to music way too loud or else shrieking back and forth with the cunt on the other end of her phone.

I’m the bus driver. I know my union rights. I floor the accelerator to run lights, stomp so hard on the brakes that riders wince, and eyeball what gets put in the fare box. I’m a fat fuck that hates everyone, and never have to answer to mistreatment to passengers because union.

I'm the cunt beside you watching annoying videos with the sound on. I should be shot in the head.

[quote]one of who has a cane.

Oh, dear.

Plus it's a cunt who doesn't understand the R1 position.

I'm the blind guy with the dog fumbling my way upstairs to the top deck. What can I say. He likes the view!

I'm the guy in Lycra getting on the bus with my bike. You pretend not to look. But I caught you.

I'm the busker letting my guitar echo off the tile walls of the tube station. Why do people walk by me so fast? Some even glare. Alright, I may be no McCartney, but my Yesterday is pretty good if I do say so.

I'm the homeless man riding the night bus to stay warm all winter. Don't mind me. I brought a sleeping bag. But watch that bottle. It's not filled with tea.

I’m the inevitable poker faced black youth blasting tinny rap music from my cracked phone, disturbing an otherwise fairly quiet subway car and silently DARING you to ask me to lower the volume. . I won’t use headphones because somehow I’ve deluded myself into believing you’re all impressed with both my incredible technology and choice of music, even though every other passenger including the musty- smelling homeless guy trying to sleep on an entire seat owns a cell phone. Your ride WILL be negatively affected by my desperate attempt at aggression, I promise you. I WILL BE SEEN AND HEARD.

(My equally repellent white counterpart is the chunky young man in a badly painted black matte BMW with tinted windows and a modified muffler. His car alarm is always going off because he cannot afford to correctly maintain his car).

Along with litter and public urination, we generously provide a significant part of what makes city life uglier than it has to be!

I'm the circle jerk.

All these freaks! I'm the only normal person on the bus.

[quote]It's just common courtesy to thank the driver, OP; plenty of New Yorkers do so.

Same here in L.A., and probably everywhere else.

I’m the accidental brush of a bus conductor's hand that sends a jolt of longing straight to your groin.