Anybody else going through the holidays sober this year?

Why don't you just cut down after the holidays?

I've been sober since 1987. It helps especially when dealing with family and certainly can be done.

Also, keep your coat handy and know when to go home.

I weakened over Thanksgiving and will probably still indulge through Christmas. I'll taper off on 12/26 and be sober by New Year's Day. For some reason, NYE doesn't tempt me at all.

r1 because my liver, i'm tired of waking in the middle of the day feeling so sick, it's a horrible waste of money, and I have a huge problem. I'm done drinking. I wanted to see who else was also flying sober this year.

I don't think I drink the way you probably do, r1.

I stopped two years ago at Thanksgiving when I was spending the holiday alone. I had been a 2-cocktail a day guy before that. Last week I had a glass of red wine. Did nothing for me. This week I had a draft beer. Disgusting! I will try hard alcohol again next but I really haven't missed it. I may just stick with my gummies.

^Good for you, but 2 cocktails a day? Easy to quit. You obviously don't have 'the gene.'

Here's what helped me get through any social function sober, including holiday gatherings: I wrote a list of all the positive things about not drinking, such as "won't wake up with a hangover", "won't get a DUI", "won't get into heated arguments", etc.

Like someone upthread, I haven't had a drink since the 1980s. I have no plans to change this. I know the official DL position is to hate AA, but it's worked for me for more than three decades.

Yes. It won't be the first time I've done it. But I'll reach one year of alcohol sobriety on 12/6. I'm not at all concerned, but I AM avoiding family this time around.

OP here - this isn't my first sober holiday season, but it's the first one in about 4 years. Surprisingly, I've had no issues so far, even when I sat at a table where 2 people were drinking wine and I was offered a glass. Not my first time getting sober either, but something seems different this time. I think I must have just drank so damn much that I've completely lost any impulse or urge or craving. It's like a switch has been flipped. And I'm not smoking pot either, although I do have a vape I plan on using after the first month for an autoimmune disorder that causes a lot of joint pain and swelling.

I really wanted to see how many others on here choose not to drink for whatever reason. Thanks for all the responses!

I got hooked on booze and weed during the pandemic and it has been a bear on my back which I haven't been able to quit. About a month ago, I stopped drinking, but still smoked while the DT's were happening. Last week I stopped weed and it has been a stressful week. I took a drink on two days, but not today, at all. It is truly one moment at a time. I hope I make it, cause I can't live that way anymore.

r11 exactly how I feel. I can't live the way i was anymore...at the bottom of a bottle and planning for the next. Fuck that bullshit, I was and am just so sick of it.

While I no longer use 12-step meetings, I think it’s a great tool! Use whatever you need to heal, and there are many other methodologies out there now besides AA, different ways work for different people. I’m a huge advocate for listening to your body, listening to your heart, listening to your mind. We are all born “whole” and have everything we need inside us, but I don’t think we’re meant to do this alone — that’s why 12-steps and other support groups are an effective tool.

Congrats to everyone doing sober holidays this year. It ain't always easy but it's worth it.

We stay home and lie low for the holidays, and we don't keep any alcohol in the house. This has made ours a "safe house" for relatives who want or need a sober location during this tricky and stressful time of year.

Some of the most obnoxious, pointless and self-absorbed family drama I've ever witnessed (or directly participated in) tended to happen during the Thanksgiving, Xmas, New Year's trifecta and it was always boozy.

The link here illustrates how I feel being rid all those tired old scenes.

LOL R14 and good for you that you make your house a safe haven for others that wish to be drama and alcohol free!

Very kind R14.

I’m envious. And you sound like a saint.

39th year in a row. I can’t drink and there’s nothing harder for me to get through than the two-month run up to the New Year. But I’m an alcoholic and the depression I go through is worth the sobriety.

It’s not that I want to drink. It’s that I don’t want to FEEL. I’ll make it.

This is my 37th year without drinking. Never thought I could live without it. If I can stay sober, anyone can.

Though it helps to want to.

When I was first sober in NYC, I frequently heard spoken around this time of year:

“Welcome to the Threefold Disease: Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s!”

It is amazing how many old-timers are on DL. All of you with sobriety over 30 years, are you friends of Bill W.? I salute each of you!

16 years sober.

Love having no hangovers.

Love sleeping through the night.

Love never wondering what I said the night before.

Love saving booze money.

Love being able to handle my own shit.

Love not being known as an embarrassing drunk.

Love not worrying about a dui if I see a cop car behind me.

Love not being red-faced and bloated.

Love not being depressed.

Love not being obsessed with the next bottle of wine.

Don’t love *never* being able to just get drunk or buzzed for the night and “check out”…but I’m not willing to give up all the stuff I love for that.

Any alternative beverage recommendations? Whether you want to cut down or cut it out completely, it’s good to have options.

HELL NO! That said, I've come to the point in my life where I will only become inebriated with top-shelf booze: Veuve Cliquot; Amarone; Condrieu; Cote Rotie; Beaune; Chateau Yquem; etc. You get the picture.

There's more than one way to escape reality, and I'm going FIRST CLASS.

How about these?

[quote]r8 Like someone upthread, I haven't had a drink since the 1980s. I have no plans to change this. I know the official DL position is to hate AA, but it's worked for me for more than three decades.

#MeToo

I don’t think DL hates AA. There’s just one poster who’s never gotten over that his sponsor made him clean his gutters (??) and give up his old apartment. Or something.

It’s quite the Babe In the Woods soap opera.

Stopped drinking in November of 2018. Sorry, no suggestions for alternate beverages. Maybe a nice, icy cold Fresca?

[quote]R13 I’m a huge advocate for listening to your body, listening to your heart, listening to your mind.

Those things didn’t also tell active alcoholics to drink like pigs at a trough?

To my surprise I was able to get through the holiday without drinking a whole bottle of wine every night. I spent all week home and off work and as my family is deceased I don’t have anyone to celebrate.

I have depression and once or twice month I’ll drink heavily at home as a escape. I make the most horrible decisions, write emails and other dreadful things I not only regret but feel an enormous guilt the day after. I am getting better at controlling the impulse but a traumatic event a couple of years ago is making it hard for me to control myself and never drink again.

Hope I will quit just as I did with cigarettes 10 years ago. Never again.

Oh, do shut up r27.

Best of luck R28!

Thanks R28

R27, my comment was made with the assumption that one listens to oneself whilst one is sober and of a sound and clear mind.

R22, I've always liked Diet Ginger Ale. Another idea is to mix seltzer (I don't like the non-taste of even flavored seltzers) with an exotic juice like blood orange or peach.

I tend to avoid drinking out of wine or cocktail glasses, which remind me too much of actual drinking. I use a regular glass, and keep it in my hand at all times so nobody feels obliged to offer me a drink. It works, tastes good, and I don't crave drinking or feel socially awkward.

Advice I've heard for people stuck at a big table for a meal with people getting progressively more hammered and provocative: when it gets uncomfortable, get up from the table and ask the host/ess if you can help with any meal prep, cleanup, or dishes. Get your mind and body into a useful activity right away, and it will take you smoothly through that otherwise intolerable 15-second period of craving.

I made it halfway through the weekend and then gave in. I keep trying to stop, but I hit a wall eventually and give in.

I quit, not purposely, just hooked up with someone that didnt drink. Now i really cant stand the taste of it.

r34 It really is difficult when you hit that wall. I keep hitting it too. I try to distract myself, go outside, play with the dog, have a cup of tea, or just sit and wait it out. Sometimes it works, sometimes I panic and get overwhelmed. Just one wall at a time. Thank you for being here to talk with us.

16th Christmas sober. I take Italian sodas and fancy kombucha to events. I *love* being sober and wouldn't be here if I hadn't stopped drinking so I find it easy. If you feel pressured to drink you're hanging around people who don't care about you or have issues with their own drinking - IMO.

Thank you R35. Sincerely. I'll keep trying. I'll keep you in mind too.🙏

I quit drinking Oct 20 and started going to AA meetings most evenings. I will visit family out of state for Xmas but they aren't really big drinkers and are tolerable for the most part so it shouldn't be too bad.

I'll miss drinking on New Year's, it was always one of my favorites.

[quote]Any alternative beverage recommendations?

I've been drinking unsweetened iced tea and plain San Pellegrino for years now.

Tomorrow morning, at 4am, I will have 3 weeks sober. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, especially to people who don't drink the way some of us do (read: me, and maybe others here), but it's a lot for this person who was drinking two bottles of wine a night. Although I've quit before for 18 month spans, i started back up again for lame excuses. Not this time. I don't plan on ever going back, for all the reasons listed above at r21 and more. My bio Dad died of alcoholism 5 years ago - not from liver failure, but from mouth/lip cancer which was a direct result of his drinking.

Before quitting completely, I had played around with not drinking a day or two here and there. I also didn't drink first thing when I woke up, I preferred to wait until at least 6pm. That said, my last drink was at 4am in the morning the day I quit. FOUR IN THE MORNING, I was drinking my last glass of wine. Woke up at 2pm that afternoon feeling sick as a dog and just said "that's it. It's over. You don't have to do this anymore."

I know lots of people hate on AA, but I went to my first Zoom meeting that night. I've gone to in person AA meetings in the past. I've also tried a few other programs, as well as talk therapy. I've been to a meeting a day since then, sometimes more. I'm not banging the AA drum. I think there are a lot of ways to quit, and a lot of other groups. I think the point for me was this introvert was finally tired of being alone in this. Not having people to talk to and "hang out with" was key for me. Now I do. Now if I feel particularly shitting about something, I can find a meeting pretty much any time of the day and just hang in the background and listen. I used to pick out the differences: i didn't drink as a kid/teen/in my 20's (at all, I was a teetotaler), I hadn't gone to rehab over and over again, I didn't drink handles of vodka, I hadn't had any brushes with the law (until 2017). Now I listen for the similarities. It could even be just one sentence, but I can see myself in all these people from everywhere. And if I don't like what they're saying, I can leave. I can find another meeting, another day. But I'm not alone.

That day I decided, I downloaded a quit drinking app on my phone that detailed all the little steps I, and my body, was taking toward restoring my health, because my health is a huge reason (honestly) why I'm getting sober. I won't go into it now, suffice it to say it figures in. I downloaded a bunch of games on my phone to keep my mind busy. I planned when I would attend the next Zoom meeting. I bought a bunch of food and things to drink that I enjoy. I busied myself with things I had long put off. I cleaned my health-code-violation apartment within an inch of my life and now have had family over at least 5 times for dinner (and kid relatives to spend the night!). I've spent money on things that enrich my life that I would have spent on wine.

There's so many ways to do it. Just know you don't have to do it alone and reach out to the many resources that are available. It's worth it!

I did, because I'm not a sad soggy whore.

*within an inch of ITS life ^^

May you have many more days without alcohol, r41/OP.

R44 Thank you :)

[R41]: Check out the book, “Living Sober.” It’s full of short chapters (1-3 pages) about how to stay sober in all kind of day-to-day situations. Infound it a great help when I first got sober.

And, though the book doesn’t say so, it was written by a gay man, Barry L., one of the early founders of gay A.A.

Be good to yourself.

R41, do you mind sharing the quit drinking app. I'm tired of this and want to make some changes for many reasons.

24 years sober. It’s all about expectations. If you just let it be what it is rather than try and make it what you think it should be, it makes life a lot easier. I’ve also officially retired from the taking care of other people business. Their lives are none of my business.

OP I noticed I was drinking every day after work in August. Not much - a single local, low-strength beer - but I typically have 1-3 drinks a month in total.

So from the end of August until a family birthday in November, I swore off alcohol.

For the first three or 4 days I missed reaching for a cold one while watching TV at the end of the day or wine with dinner, but thereafter I forgot about it.

If anything, it was a lesson in how habits are formed. And I learned that I am a happy drinker, not a depressive drinker. A neighbour died during that dry period and the idea of drinking alcohol turned my stomach.

Yes, I’ll be sober. I don’t drink. Personal preference. Why would anyone have issues not drinking? I haven’t studied it closely but I was usually under the impression issues arise when people [italic]are[/italic] drinking. Baffling

I don't drink.

You're all a bunch of fuckin' juice-pumps anyway, so why not balance it out?

When i quit drinking ( not on purpose) after awhile i realized all the time i wasted drinking. It was a revelation .

No. What's the point of that? You think I wanna deal with my crazy relatives SOBER? Fuck that.

Kind of. I'm having wine with dinner but no alcohol without a meal. So no cocktail hours or drinking at bars. Mainly because I love holiday food and need to cut calories somewhere.

I'm also doing sober-January. I've done it for the past several years. Feels good to accomplish something the first month of the year.

I stopped drinking for a few months before the pandemic. I don't think I had a problem but I definitely was drinking too much. So decided to take a pause.

I thought the hardest part was going to be not drinking when I was in a social situation, but it turned out to be no big deal. After I explained to friends that I was taking a pause, they didn't pressure me. And I didn't mind being around people when they drank. If I was out with a group of people who were drinking too much, I'd usually cut out early because that proved to be dull.

The toughest part was the anxiety of wondering what it would feel like not to drink around other people. Seems like that's what you're experiencing, OP.

r47 It's called EasyQuit Drinking (I'm not a schill, it's just the first free app I found that had good reviews). I use the free version, which means sometimes I'll see some stupid ads for other apps, whatever.

I like that it actually does a deep dive into health and what is going on with your body and mind the longer you abstain, what is re-growing (neurons, grey brain matter, skin, liver, and all manner of other things), gives you awards, offers a place to track weight, journal (I don't use either of those things just now). It even has a "quit slowly" option, which I haven't used. I took a look at it just now and it has you set up a plan if you choose that option. There are other features I haven't used either. I've found it pretty motivational.

For example, I know since the 20 days and xx hours I've quit, I've saved $260, I've not had 188 drinks (it has you put in how many drinks you were having per day/week/etc), regained 47.4% health (this is obvs an average), avoided 37,684 calories, regained 2 days and 14 hours worth of life.

I just wanted to say that I also (like r28) would chat/message the most ridiculous, stupid things to people, and see their responses in the morning and think "what the hell are they talking about?" Then, I'd have to scroll up and ashamedly read the dumb, depressive, ridiculous things I had written and try to do damage control around them. Also, I've had severe depression my entire life (even when I hadn't started drinking) and to add a depressive substance onto already existing depression didn't help matters. What it did was make me forget the stuff from my past and also not have to deal with physical pain. It also made me forget, every day, how I felt waking up after being completely blitzed, how guilty and shameful I felt, and all that goes along with making a complete idiot of myself. Thank God I did this from home (I've never been a barfly), but I still found ways to make a complete ass and idiot of myself.

R55 I'm actually not having that problem this time (stressing about how it feels to be around people who were drinking when I am not/wasn't). I went to Thanksgiving dinner with semi-relatives and was offered a glass of wine (my past drink of choice), sat next to someone drinking wine and additionally, there were 2 other people at our smallish table who were drinking wine as well. No cravings, no qualms, and no desire to drink.

Happy that the obsession seems to have been lifted. I think I actually drank SO MUCH over the past 2 years that it flipped that "done with it all" switch for me.

[quote]You think I wanna deal with my crazy relatives SOBER?

Why not just avoid them? I realize that may not be as easy as I may make it seem, but isn’t that better than using alcohol as a defense mechanism?

Also, if you're running into trouble staying sober at social functions, one strategy that works for some people is to "bookend" the event--call someone who doesn't drink and/or is supportive of your desire not to drink right before you go and again right after you leave the event.

Another tip--arrive late/leave early (or don't go at all, if it's a really tough crowd) and be sure your car (if you drive) is not blocked in, so you can leave quickly and quietly if you need to get out of a very boozified atmosphere with minimum fuss.

[quote]r41 Now if I feel particularly shitty about something, I can find a meeting pretty much any time of the day and just hang in the background and listen.

Good!

It took me about a year to get up the nerve to raise my hand and share in a meeting, but once I did that I felt more bonded to the group, and they knew me better. Plus I feel better after I share, and I often figure out a solution while I’m hearing myself talk about it. And while some advice is useless, you might have someone come up to you after you share who says “I went through that, too” and has a helpful suggestion or idea.

Alcohol is revolting, makes you look and feel like shit.

Ask yourself, why do I drink it?

[quote]r54 I'm also doing sober-January. I've done it for the past several years. Feels good to accomplish something the first month of the year.

You do know only people with drinking problems do this?

Liquor is overrated. Booze sucks.

If this includes cannabis, then hell no. I just picked up 7grams of Laughing Gas, I good for a while.

If this includes cannabis, then hell no. I just picked up 7grams of Laughing Gas, I good for a while.

r65 i'm not advocating boycotting cannabis at all. I'm waiting a month and then going to be vaping to relieve some of my auto-immune symptoms as well as anxiety and depression. I know plenty of people in the program I use who use cannabis and I don't blame them. I'd rather use that then to use the plethora of anti-anxiety and depression meds I've used in the past. I live in Northern California so it's probably much more accepted here than maybe across the country/world.

No ties, no busts, no booze, no needles

I broke my foot this morning; got a covid shot, tetnus and flu shot this afternoon. Went to the Emergency room for a foot x-ray and was told the out-patient clinic was closed till tomorrow. My foot hurts like hell. Went home and had four belts of whisky and a .5 mg of klonopin. Barely felt better, but guilt set in for going off the wagon. Fuck it! Sometimes, life is just too damn hard.

Why would you do that? Alcohol makes everything more festive!

People who aren’t alcoholic don’t have to try to stop drinking.

I'm looking for first hand experiences of living on Fire Island. By "lived there" I do not mean you stayed in share for one or two months in season; I am talking about staying year around, over the winter months.

I only drink when I'm with family.

[QUOTE] I only drink when I'm with family.

Then if you are one of those people who refers to gays as family, that means you drink all the time.

🤚🏼🤚🏽🤚🏾

R69 Festive Vomiting

R70 People who aren't alcoholic can go without alcohol for a month or year with no problem

OP here, and I've had 3 periods of 18+ months of sobriety since my one and only rehab in 2009, another of 6+ months.

What I've decided is I can get myself sober, but I can't sustain sobriety when I don't have support of others with a similar problem. To go it alone has led in the past - for me - to isolation and eventually rationalization that maybe I don't have a problem.

I've learned my lesson.

R34, congratulations ( I really mean it) I just read what you said and I'm taking it to heart. I don't drink with anyone and my family doesn't drink either. My Dad also died of acute alcoholism. I didn't start drinking until 3 yrs ago. I never wanted to. This is something that developed that I shouldn't have let develop. Shame makes it hard to reach out, I guess. I'm glad you and the other posters have stopped and are happier.

^^R34

r78 there are many people out there (myself included) who feel the same shame that you do. You may drink alone, feel alone, but you definitely don't have to quit alone or be alone. There are so many options for support. Try one, try many, but just TRY to reach out to those who know what you're going through. I heard something the other day that's stuck with me: I can get myself sober (for a day, a few days, weeks, months, etc.), but without support, I most likely won't be able to STAY sober. I've certainly found this to be the case over the past 20 years. Isolation is the enemy. And letting yourself forget how bad you feel is also the enemy. That's been my experience. But I don't think I'll forget anytime soon that drinking a HUGE bottle of wine nightly is not - by any stretch of the imagination - normal or sustainable. Nor is the feeling of one's liver hurting.

And don't fall into that trap I did for so many years (well, I'm not as bad as THAT GUY!). It's progressive. It will get worse if you let it go on.

Best of luck.

[quote]R76 People who aren't alcoholic can go without alcohol for a month or year with no problem

But it would never occur to those people they need to cut back, so they wouldn’t do it intentionally.

R78 Shame plays a big role on not reaching for help. Not one person on earth - including my therapist - knows I heavily drink alone from time to time. I’m a high functioning depressed with a good career and everyone around me thinks I’m happy as a queen.

The pain of loss, aging and loneliness are the reason I drink and try to escape from reality in the privacy of my home. I still don’t feel strong enough to just quit and at the same time I wish I didn’t feel the need to drink. It’s a paradox.

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. As snarky as DL can be just writing about it brings me some kind of relief.

I'll gave a glass or two of red wine. I like it better now that I'm old.

Cannabis is good for me , alcohol made me do bad things, truth.

[quote]R82 Not one person on earth - including my therapist - knows I heavily drink alone from time to time.

I’d think it would be a good topic to discuss. Although, I guess therapy is for things one wants to change, or understand better. If you don’t want to change that part of your life it makes sense not to bring it up.

Thanks for starting this thread OP.

I’ve been sober a while and have relapsed like every other honest alky/druggie has.

You do whatever you can to get through the day. AA has helped me but I’m not a fanatic. I know a meeting is there if I need it. My meeting philosophy is take what is helpful and leave the rest. Lots of sick puppies there.

Focus on what you like most about sobriety . For me, it’s being able to REMEMBER where I put something. When I find it I say to myself thank god for my fucking sobriety. I’m elder gay . Neuriva plus helps my memory and gives me vivid dreams

The best thing about not drinking for me is the absence of splitting hangovers. I used to begin many days by vomiting.

Much love and support to all of those who have chimed in on the thread, both soberites as well those in the thick of it and struggling. I am glad to hear/read a great, honest discussion here about shame, honesty, pain, and everything that goes along with having a problem with alcohol. Even if you don't think you're (per se) an "alcoholic," realizing you have a problem and wanting to change are very admirable and I think it's useful to know that there is support and people out there (even here!) who you can talk to and share with. I've read each response and really appreciate your posts and input.

I wanted to share that, after 23 days of not drinking, my liver has finally stopped aching. Yes, I could feel it almost every second of every day and it felts like a hot, heavy lump in my body. Today I realized I don't feel it anymore. I'm certainly not out of the woods yet; if one's liver is throbbing, there was definitely damage going on. I'm hopeful that my continued sobriety will help heal what damage has been done over time. And yes, it's so wonderful to not wake up to a throbbing head, painful digestive issues and no memory of why there's a pile of clothes in the middle of the room and the abomination of whatever concoction I put together last night to eat, or the nonsensical, weepy messages I texted to friends/family the night before. Life isn't perfect, but it's becoming more manageable.

I hope and wish the best for all of you who've contributed to this thread, and even those who maybe have just been reading along. Love and support to all of you!

I’m always sober.

Congrats OP/R88 - that's great!

Shober?

If it ain't broke, why fixsh it?

OP, I went 6 days sober and then caved yesterday. I once went almost 3 months sober. I'm going to give it another try so I'll be sober for the Christmas holidays.

Congrats R88!! And thanks for the great thread. As a I read it since its start I was actually able to skip my usual weekly drunken session, so thank you OP.

OP, I envy your sobriety and for not having cravings.

My partner and I are both (functioning) alcoholics, with myriad medical problems, pains, and other "excuses" but it's creating more problems than drinking has solved. I honestly don't know how to get out of this and AA is not an option (been there, did that for 3 years). Hope to taper off, then moderate. Have done it before. But we're now in the depths of heavy drinking and physical dependency, which becomes quite counter-productive. Not falling down, DUI drunk, but just daily, heavy drinking. We do have fun together, but it's become tedious, and making us sicker than we already are.

Quitting cold turkey has given me seizures. Talking aloud to myself here - need to be disciplined and measured about cutting back and then actually not drinking for a few days at a time. Wish I had no cravings. It takes a long time to get over that.

I wish you good luck, and want to say that if you don't crave alcohol, then don't drink just because others around you are. Also, jettison (love that word, DL used to call it Punch and Delete) any triggers -- especially family during the holidays. Toxic. You have no obligation other than to take care of your own health first.

I quit drinking completely about ten years ago not because I had a problem, but cos my alcoholic ex did and was fucking over it. Also my mother developed an alcohol problem late in life. I know the genes for alcoholism/ addiction are present in my family, so I decided fuck it, not drinking any more, not that I was ever a heavy drinker after my 20's. Havent missed it at all, plus I like to drive and always end up the designated driver which is fine by me. This'll be the 10th or 11th Xmas without alcohol for me. Not drinking has meant my health is good and I am slim for my age which I like. Alcohol got shitloads of calories so stopping drinking also helps if you want lose weight

Bump

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone! I thought I'd check in with you to see how things are going: whether you've been swilling it down but wishing you weren't or abstaining. There are events going on (zoom or otherwise) for people who are alone and maybe don't want to drink today or tomorrow and also on New Year's Eve.

I'm 46 days sober now and happy about my choice. If you want to chat about it, leave a post. Regardless, I wish each and every one of you a happy and healthy holiday and upcoming new year.

R8, you shouldn’t need AA or any program for decades . You are no longer a drinker . Stop wasting your life in the program. Your “ disease” is not doing push-ups waiting to devour you again . AA takes a lot of time out of your life by lying to people that they will sue if they leave . That’s classic cult behavior

☝🏼Die not sue lol

Hi, OP. Congratulations. I quit drinking in November, 2018. So, I'm OK with that. The trade-off (drinking vs. not drinking) has been worth it, for me.

R70 Is a judgmental AA member . These people are exhausting and insufferable. They don’t think for themselves. It’s group think personified

r100 congratulations. I've already saved close to $500 with how my old drinking habit was and passed up close to 430 drinks. However, I'm going in to the doctor on Tuesday and will see what havoc i've wreaked on my body (my last blood tests in August showed elevated liver enzymes and my liver still aches on and off).

I'm never going back. It's too exhausting, time consuming, sickening, and costs way too much money for the amt I was up to.

Bump

I've saved, so far, around $3,400 over the time I've not been drinking. I wasn't drinking in bars, I was drinking at home, so I wasn't spending a crazy amount (monthly). But it does add up, over time.

I experimented with alcohol in my late teens/early 20s until the first time I blacked out. I had an alcoholic mother growing up and knew that was a bad sign.

Now I’m in my 50s and have been sober all the while. I will take the occasional puff on a vape or have a gummy sometimes, but can take or leave those as well. I feel for everyone struggling because I have seen for myself how difficult it is to quit and how much trouble it can cause.

It’s true that other people seem to find non-drinkers a curiosity. Not sure why, but they usually want an explanation (or assume, I’m sure, that I had a problem). Fortunately I live in a big city where drinking is not the only social activity, not everyone is so lucky! But you don’t owe anyone an explanation for not drinking anyhow.

Thanks r104 and r105! I am really encouraged to hear about others who are happily not imbibing as well.

I should note the $594 I saved over the past 46 days was from at-home drinking. I've never been a bar/going out drinker because I find that pretty irresponsible and would have rather had more drinks by myself rather than spend more money for less drinks and obviously NOT potentially put others at risk with my behavior.

Please feel free to share your stories of drinking or non-drinking here. Someone revived this thread, so I'm wondering if they are interested in stopping drinking. I'd like to share that it also took me about 3+ months of "playing" at NOT drinking. By that I mean, every 2 weeks (not planned by any means) I'd just feel uninspired to go out and get more wine (either from laziness, feeling really ill or just wanting a break from it all), and would go 24 hours without drinking, and on rare occasions, 48 hours. So maybe I was "rehearsing" the whole cessation. Was it helpful? I don't know.

There's no "right" way to get there. AA can help, but so can a number of other ways (Rational Recovery, SMART, medication-based methods, CBT, etc.). Some people do have had some success using psychedelics as well.

Bob's Burgers had a hilarious quote, which I stole and had embroidered on a pillow for my alcoholic grandmother:

"AA was A waste of time!"

Nope

Pretty much.

I have never been a big drinker and I may have a half a beer once or twice at a party but that's about it.

If it's a corporate type party I will drink a club soda with lime as it looks enough like everyone else's drink that no one thinks to comment on it.

[quote] I should note the $594 I saved over the past 46 days was from at-home drinking.

Whoa! The financial incentive, alone, would be enough for me to quit.

r110 I put the money to good use: replacing my 32 inch non-smart tv with a 55" Samsung Smart TV, and also quite a bit more on holiday spending. I kept it reasonable, but mostly went a little wild buying some holiday type stuff since I spent the last few Christmases drinking by myself and not even decorating. Making up for lost time in a way, I guess.

Sober for 30 years.

Quit CT, went into DTs, hospitalized for 4 days, no alcohol since.

I've never liked the battery acid taste of alcohol, so I go through every holiday season sober.

Not if I can help it.

[quote]I'm going to give it another try so I'll be sober for the Christmas holidays.

I didn't make it.

[quote]I weakened over Thanksgiving and will probably still indulge through Christmas

I did indulge through Christmas Eve and don't see myself quitting tomorrow. I'm ashamed.

I was ashamed all the times I told myself I was going to quit too. In the end, that's a useless pit to hide out in. At some point, if you really want to quit, you'll make a decision. I wish everyone the best this holiday!

OP I actually found R1 in this thread attached to be really helpful in helping me put drinking into perspective and stop myself when tempted to drink when I'm stressed or want a quick high.

Thank you to whoever posted it X

I am. On warfarin until at least April due to a pulmonary embolism/DVT. Apparently alcohol and warfarin are unpredictable, so no holiday cocktails for me. A Dry January is a foregone conclusion as well.

r118 thanks for that link and your input.

I actually don't subscribe to the notion that I'm helpless to stop drinking, and never have. I have stopped drinking several times on my own. Rather, I've had a hard time CONTINUING to not drink. And yes, the R1 at your link was correct...you need to figure out WHY you're drinking, that is integral. Many programs (including AA) actually work on chipping away at what's driving your drinking.

I have been doing some work on myself and realized boredom and trying to escape reality and pain have a lot to do with it. I also have a CBT workbook I'm going to start using (bought this months and months ago but never cracked it open). For me, I had to do the grunt and very rudimentary work of just STOPPING drinking, and using whatever means necessary to do that. I didn't - and haven't - used just one technique (like AA); I have tried many different things I never tried before. I've been willing and open to trying new approaches, and not giving up if it didn't work and resort to falling back to drinking again.

I've been kind to myself during this process and decided to be flexible in my approach. I figured I've spent over 18 years drinking and establishing a very bad way of dealing (read: NOT DEALING) with my issues, so it's okay if I figure out (for me) that some things work and other things don't. The important thing for me is NOT TO DRINK. It's not good for my body, my health, my mind, my mood, my wallet and the world at large. All it was doing was putting a shitty bandage on all my mental wounds, night after night, and having to re-apply it again and again because it was the dollar store brand of bandage: it kept falling off and needing re-application EVERY.DAMN.NIGHT.

This thread was only a means to spark conversation and maybe thought into whether continuing dysfunctional drinking may be something worth further consideration. I'm happy that we've had a pretty productive thread and truly appreciate people posting honestly about their experiences.

R104, use that money you saved on yourself . Vacations, clothes , nice restaurants etc. etc . Congrats on your freedom

R117, so true and helpful post . God bless and Merry Christmas if you celebrate

I drank the last of the booze in the house Friday. It's really cold out, and there's nothing I needed today, so Sat and Sun will be booze-less. Not saying I might not buy some Monday, but am enjoying a break.

No, but I cut way down. Waking up with a hangover and having a terrible night's sleep just stopped being worth it after a while.

[quote] because my liver, i'm tired of waking in the middle of the day feeling so sick

Does your liver make you sick?