Shakespearean characters you despise

Leontes in A Winter's Tale.

Kevin.

R2 oh was he in CARDENIO?

No frustrated AmDram elders around anymore then, I suppose?

Juliet. If Romeo and Mercutio hadn't gone to the Capulets' party, Romeo and Mercutio might have gone from being best friends to falling in love with each other. And they might not have died in the end, as they'd have kept their love secret from the Montagues and Mercutio's family.

Did Mercutio even have a last name?

Claudio. I never understood why Hero still married him after he allowed himself to be manipulated, and then embarrassed her in front of her whole family.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead to me.

R5 RoMercutio??? nah the ship is clearly MercuTybalt, they were sooo flirty

“Maybe a word and a blow..” “You’ll find me good at that, Mercutio, if you’ll give me a chance.”

“Here’s my baton that shall make you dance. Consorts indeed!” Etc.

Friar Lawrence. His cowardice and shitty advice got both Romeo and Juliet killed.

Consensus so far? We all fucking hate Romeo & Juliet because the characters are all awful people👍

Your mom.

Polonius. Perhaps just… don’t sound like Claudius and you won’t be killed mate :/

Those annoying cunts at the beginning of Timon who don't have names, just their professions as titles. All very unserious and unhelpful lads, terrible bants from them as well.

Ophelia. The original drama queen.

So you got dumped, bitch -- it happens.

Do you put on your big girl panties and seduce young Fortinbras to show that limp-dicked soyboy Hamlet what he's missing? No, you swan about woe-is-me-ing to everybody at court and literally -- literally! -- losing your mind. Can't even drown yourself discreetly, nope, go floating down the river singing (off-key, no doubt) and making sure everyone watches.

She's even more annoying than her father.

R9 wasn’t it only the screw ups with messages that got Romeo squibbed? The Friar would have had a sound plan if not for that, and Romeo & Juliet both followed it to the letter and could have pulled it off but for a twist of fate in the fucking postal service.

If you want to talk about +300-year old doomed lovers with no plan who didn’t give a fuck if they lived or died, you want John Ford’s Giovanni & Annabella. They were just winging it in the most hilariously gruesome and obnoxious and stupid (affectionate) way possible.

OP has an issue with a character in Shakespeare's beautiful "sad fairy tale without fairies" because the themes required Capulet to be a stereotypical authority figure and father.

But Iago....

Cordelia.

Her on-the-spectrum thick-headedness, ignoring the fact that she must have known her sisters were conniving cunts, killed her entire family, plus Gloucester, Edmund, Lear's Fool, and thousands of soldiers.

The imitation Falstaff in "Merry Wives of Windsor" - NOT MY SIR JOHN!

R17 oh, is that all?

Romeo and Juliet. Pair of teenagers throwing a tantrum.

Lavinia in Titus Andronicus is in the Too Fucking Dumb to Live category. If you catch the Empress shagging her major domo, just keep your mouth shut and pretend you didn't notice.

I can't really explain it but I've just always wanted to beat the shit out of Puck.

R22 that's how I feel about Ariel. The spooky bitch just flies around like a more annoying Tinkerbell, "yes Mastering" Prospero without even asking any pertinent questions first. Grow a spine, gurl.

Bottom

Ophelia

R21 that was really the least of poor Lavinia’s problems..

On the other end of the spectrum, j’adore that queen bitch Tamora. The way she just isn’t fucking having of the imperial war hawks looking to swing their withered dicks around. And she openly lusts and receives hot young submissive dick. She’s brilliant.

Achilles in TROILUS & CRESSIDA. Giving gays a bad name.

There again, he’s a loathsome whiney queen in every literary work in which he appears, so it’s very on brand and IC.

R18 Shallow & Slender think they're sooooooo hilarious. Well, they're not.