Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

What was the scandal of your Thanksgiving?

My cousin made a comment about how many glasses of wine his sister had, which made her very loud and defensive about NOT being an alcoholic. They spent the rest of the day apart and bitching each other out to anyone who'd listen.

by Anonymousreply 84December 7, 2022 1:54 AM

Lol.

She should have dumped her wine on his head.

That would have made everyone's night!

by Anonymousreply 1November 25, 2022 3:01 AM

Your poor cousins.

To come from the same gene pool as OP. How do they ever keep from jumping in front of a train??

by Anonymousreply 2November 25, 2022 3:14 AM

I asked the same person "What was your name again?" three times in an hour. Sober. She was really pissed off the 3rd time.

by Anonymousreply 3November 25, 2022 3:16 AM

My mom shit her pants before we arrive as she has dementia and forgot where the bathroom was. Then I learned from my MAGA family that Joe Biden is giving free marijuana to homeless people and that's why there are so many homeless. And that all homeless people have iphones so why should anyone give them money? I tried to point out that an iphone is far less expensive than a phone but it fell on deaf ears. MAGA Aunt said she had a nightmare that all the illegal aliens here in the US were in her house and she couldn't get rid of them and how she isn't going to take the latest booster for Covid because Fauci is a nazi. Good times.

by Anonymousreply 4November 25, 2022 3:19 AM

My partner threw something at me and then pushed me into a piece of furniture because I forgot the herbs for the turkey. Then I cried and went to the store to buy the herbs. Then went home and started drinking. The turkey turned out nicely.

by Anonymousreply 5November 25, 2022 3:21 AM

Oh yes, and I forgot that I used the F word in front of the same MAGA aunt who told me to watch my mouth. She's a good Christian ya know. I told her, "I'm 53. I'll swear if I want to."

by Anonymousreply 6November 25, 2022 3:21 AM

r4 I'm sorry you had to deal with your MAGA relatives. So many people are in the same situation you are. It's maddening.

by Anonymousreply 7November 25, 2022 3:22 AM

Sorry, r4 should read that a phone is far less expensive than a house.

by Anonymousreply 8November 25, 2022 3:23 AM

R4 has the lead thus far.

by Anonymousreply 9November 25, 2022 3:24 AM

Not this year but last year my uncle told me that my cousin's skanky new girlfriend looked like a "cooze" and a "two-dollar whore." I started laughing my ass off, I couldn't stop. My other uncle (my cousin's father) overheard the remark and stared daggers at the both of us, which made me laugh even harder. He barely spoke to us for the rest of the day.

Side note: She really did look like a whore.

by Anonymousreply 10November 25, 2022 3:30 AM

I misgendered the turkey by making assumptions about its tasty- looking "breasts."

by Anonymousreply 11November 25, 2022 3:37 AM

My sister-in-law (Controller/Bitch) insisted on doing "ALL" the cooking at my parents' house. Mother is feeble and Father is incompetent and their cook and nurse have the holiday week off.

SIL moved in on Sunday, leaving her two kids with my brother. NO one wanted her to do this, but our parents said to let it go, please. My two sisters and a niece already were there to take care of things. We brought appetizers and things for drinks, and more food for the weekend.

SIL worked "like a dog, despite a migraine since Tuesday." No one was allowed in the kitchen. The food was middling, but she made a huge deal about making her perfect homemade mashed potatoes she worked to get everyone to say they were the best ever. Right. Typical.

Then one of my sisters, who had left the table, came back in with pieces of an Idaho's Best Instant Mashed Potatoes box she had pulled out of the trash can.

The sister-in-law SCREAMED and left, grabbed her coat, came back in and told my brother to "bring my things in my suitcases, didn't look at her kids as her daughter cried, and stormed out, driving.

We all laughed so hard that Mom peed herself, my brother choked and turned red and my sisters cried. Even my brother's kids started to laugh. My other niece was very quiet, and when things quieted down, she said, "I feel sorry for her, I think." And it all started up again.

by Anonymousreply 12November 25, 2022 3:47 AM

This year, my dad stood up before the turkey was carved and announced something we always suspected - he's the father of my older half-sister's children. My mother then confessed something we never suspected: that he was not my father - her handsome masseur from Slovenia was really my father. And then my older half-brother's fiancee ripped open her blouse and said "My tits aren't real" as she bobbed them up and down and fondled them in front of my dad's face. And then my oldest half-sister stood up, and said, "Nothing on my face is real - which is why I'm considered the pretty one."

I miss the old days when the biggest scandal at the Thanksgiving table was figuring out when my so-called-dad would be impeached.

by Anonymousreply 13November 25, 2022 3:53 AM

My high maintenance sister in law and her part of the family went out of town this year, so thanksgiving was much more peaceful. The biggest “scandal” was the giant hickey on my stepson’s neck. I told him to cover it up before his grandmother saw it and had a cow. (Also, he’s 26. Who still gets hickies at that age??)

by Anonymousreply 14November 25, 2022 4:47 AM

“Someone” clogged one of my sister-in-laws toilets and left a very shitty mess behind. She has 4.5 bathrooms and had about 25 people over for dinner. The smell and mess were so bad, that a few people actually threw up on their way to one of the other safe bathrooms. It completely ruined the dinner and left my SIL in tears

For me, the massive dump left me feeling free and light. It also reminded me that the next time she calls me a faggot, I’m going to send out the nudes my brother took of her and sent me by mistake…..

by Anonymousreply 15November 25, 2022 5:04 AM

Brothers would not shut off football.

One of them screamed, “the fucking Lions” and we heard he lost j$6000

by Anonymousreply 16November 25, 2022 5:37 AM

R4= didn't happen

by Anonymousreply 17November 25, 2022 5:43 AM

My siblings and I would beg to differ, r17.

by Anonymousreply 18November 25, 2022 6:36 AM

(^.^) absolutely fabulist!

by Anonymousreply 19November 25, 2022 6:42 AM

TL:DR - daughter's bf pulled out his asshole mask toward the end of an enjoyable night when he didn't get his way and shit all over it. We survived and ended the night on a good note without him.

Everything went fine over at my daughter's boyfriend's parents house. It was when we left...we were in a hurry to try to make a movie that we'd already purchased tickets for and my daughter's boyfriend began haranguing her about going the way she was to get on the 101, insisting we should have taken a way that would take us West for about 5 miles, just to hit another route to go directly East to hit 101. He kept saying she should have gone the other way and i finally butted in and said the way she was going was quicker, which of course he began arguing with. Ultimately, he got really annoyed and when it became apparent she wasn't turning around, he then insisted that I had been "super offensive" and "super insulting" to him, and that he was right and I should apologize. After a minute of his dumb whining, I finally said that while I didn't believe i was being super insulting or offensive, I apologized for arguing. This was completely unacceptable to him, he said it wasn't even an apology, and proceeded to pull up a map that showed that "his way" was the faster route, that i was wrong, and why didn't i admit I was wrong and apologize the right way. I had already just shut up and let him go off on his tantrum, and my daughter kept telling him to stop and drop it, which he didn't do. We got to my house to drop off my dog, at which point, he got out of the car while we were briefly in my house and he got out of the car and walked away off into the night (they live a good 1/2 hour and several miles away). We were annoyed (her kids were in the car and witnessed all of this), but we headed to the theater anyway and watched the sequel to Black Panther. It was rather enjoyable.

by Anonymousreply 20November 25, 2022 7:02 AM

Not a scandal, but just as my party was seated & about to begin eating, my relatively new marble table split in half.

by Anonymousreply 21November 25, 2022 7:45 AM

When my brother and his wife came downstairs for breakfast, my dad intercepted them and strong-armed my brother into a full lipid profile + glucose (he had brought a mobile analyzer home specifically for the ambush).

I eavesdropped on the I'm-so-disappointed talk that followed and at one point I heard: "When you live a cruddy lifestyle, you end up looking and feeling like crud. Do you think Heavenly Father would've given you a mortal body if he had known you were just going to turn it into CRUD??"

Later, to me: "Why is it that the whole family is out here, snowshoeing and enjoying a beautiful day, and they're in there....I don't even know what they're doing....probably drinking gravy.

Gee, I can't imagine why they're avoiding you.

by Anonymousreply 22November 25, 2022 7:51 AM

I have a newly nonbinary cousin who dyed her hair in rainbow stripes. I win! They all came to me, individually, to ask me what nonbinary is (obviously I'm the expert here) and I said "nothing." It means nothing.

by Anonymousreply 23November 25, 2022 8:39 AM

My father-in-law said he loved turkey so much he wanted to marry it, and his wife said she would have given anything for him to attack her with as much passion as he was attacking the drumstick on his plate. Both are obese.

by Anonymousreply 24November 25, 2022 8:42 AM

I'm r4. I wasn't planning on going to Thanksgiving but since we were told my mother's dementia was getting worse, I went on Wednesday. Started sneezing today and feeling a bit under the weather. Just took a Covid test. I'm positive.

I managed to go the past 3 years without catching it. One fucked up family gathering and I get Covid. I'm livid.

by Anonymousreply 25November 25, 2022 8:46 AM

Food poisoning. Massive. Affecting over half the guests. Now people are creating food trees to trace who ate what and how much and attempting to discover which dish poisoned them and who cooked it. It's getting ugly. It's a toss up (pun intended) between the secret-recipe deviled eggs and the poached salmon. I suspect it was the quiche, which I brought and prepared with unwashed organic spinach.

by Anonymousreply 26November 25, 2022 8:51 AM
Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 27November 25, 2022 10:47 AM

With food on it R21?? What a mess!

by Anonymousreply 28November 25, 2022 11:02 AM

This didn't happen this year but I love this story. My then boyfriend and I were to attend Thanksgiving at his mother's house. Also expected were my boyfriend's brother and wife, their children and my boyfriend's sister. The brother's wife, we'll call her Bitch, called my boyfriend's mother and told here she would not come if my boyfriend and I were there as a couple. Bitch did not agree with our "chose" lifestyle, harm to the kiddies, blah blah blah. I happened to be there when my boyfriend's mother was on the phone with Bitch and was given this news. Without missing a beat, my boyfriend's mother said that she was sorry to hear that and that they would be missed. This kind of thew Bitch. She fully expected to have her way and that I would be uninvited. I was so moved by what my boyfriend's mother did. I told here I was sorry that my presence was creating trouble. She assured me that I was not the source of the trouble and that Bitch was the problem. I told her I loved her and she said she knew that and that was the reason why she would rather have me there than to have Bitch there. It made her a little angry, too. She said something like "the nerve of that piece of work thinking she can dictate what I do in my home". That woman is now my mother-in-law and we are very close and have a great relationship. It means a lot to me as my own mother and I did not have a close relationship at all. She related only to her pharmacist.

by Anonymousreply 29November 25, 2022 11:19 AM

Jada announced she was keeping her baby! Then changed her mind!

by Anonymousreply 30November 25, 2022 11:20 AM

Not this one, but a memorable one was when the family found out that my grandmother had been fucking her daughter's husband for the past couple of years.

by Anonymousreply 31November 25, 2022 11:23 AM

Mormon R22?

by Anonymousreply 32November 25, 2022 2:11 PM

They are, r32. I’m ex.

by Anonymousreply 33November 25, 2022 5:03 PM

Oh, we just discussed who among us has pre-ordered "the book."

by Anonymousreply 34November 25, 2022 5:18 PM

R26

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 35November 25, 2022 5:22 PM

[R24] No way did you contract COVID at your family gathering yesterday and Wednesday. It takes five days to start symptoms and test positive - not one or two. So counting back from today, you contracted it this past Monday or last weekend.

by Anonymousreply 36November 25, 2022 5:28 PM

My skirt *twirled* up.

by Anonymousreply 37November 25, 2022 5:30 PM

R16, that sounds like it belongs on The Sopranos. ;)

by Anonymousreply 38November 25, 2022 5:33 PM

That's awful, R26.

Somehow, I suspect you did it on purpose.

by Anonymousreply 39November 25, 2022 5:39 PM

R31: Are you related to the Lavoies?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 40November 25, 2022 5:47 PM

The host yelled at a friend because he had to work that night which meant his daughter wouldn’t be able to play games with us later.

And then some dyke started making jokes about prostitution & cocaine….in front of the kid who is 13.

The friend didn’t engage much & played with his phone before leaving with his husband & kid.

After they left, the host bashed the friend for being conservative…that it’s ok to talk about whores & drugs at the dinner table on a family holiday.

Fun times 🙃

by Anonymousreply 41November 25, 2022 5:51 PM

A very tipsy married (gay) close friend asked me to have a 3 way with him and his side piece. Apparently they'd already talked about it. He whispered it to me at the table while at a mutual friend's house.

by Anonymousreply 42November 25, 2022 5:54 PM
Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 43November 25, 2022 5:54 PM

R12 didn’t happen.

by Anonymousreply 44November 25, 2022 5:55 PM

Not wanting to cook. I barely did either. I just wasn't feeling it this year.

by Anonymousreply 45November 25, 2022 5:56 PM

Would you do it, R42?

by Anonymousreply 46November 25, 2022 6:00 PM

I served a raw turkey.

by Anonymousreply 47November 25, 2022 6:08 PM

My verbally abusive to her kids and husband SIL was talking about their crazy neighbors and my son said, "Tell them about our crazy neighbors (the one who screams at her kids and threatened to kill "my cats" for getting on her patio furniture, which I shared in the Crazy Neighbors DL thread) So I told SIL and added "And she's always yelling awful things at her children like "Why can't you just be quiet for 10 minutes and leave me alone!" and "How are you 12 years old and still don't know how to do that?" All shit the SIL had said to her own kids in the past hour. I looked her deeply in the eyes as I said it and she was mellow for the first time in the decade that I've known her. Fuck that bitch, she scarred my husband for life with her verbal abuse and meanness.

by Anonymousreply 48November 25, 2022 6:08 PM

I so upset wit husbin I go outside during turkey and make phone call to IRS, CIA and FBI and tell zem everytin. I zen start digging husbin grave in back yard of Mar Largoes.

by Anonymousreply 49November 25, 2022 7:25 PM

The Trump jokes are so funny!

by Anonymousreply 50November 25, 2022 7:29 PM

One of my guests got the day confused. Really.

by Anonymousreply 51November 25, 2022 7:39 PM

Thank You [R50] - I do my best with these. No one had a more scandalous holiday than Trump.

by Anonymousreply 52November 25, 2022 7:47 PM

I'm anticipating (and instigating) part 2 before the end of the day.

The cruddy daughter of my crud brother and his wife told us about a nightmare she had last night. She was in the toy aisle at Target looking at Barbies, and some Proud Boys came in and started slashing the boxes.

My dad, to me: How does a six-year-old know about the Proud Boys? Who is filling her head with this garbage? Oh, and you were still asleep, but they all went out at seven this morning. Fast food! I know it! Why else would they go out so early? They weren't going for a run, that's for sure.

Me: Don't tell them I told you, but they let her watch the Kardashians. She knows about a lot more than just the Proud Boys.

by Anonymousreply 53November 25, 2022 7:54 PM

My mother who was told early this year that she has chronic pancreatitis is having a flareup. She is in pain all the time, particularly after eating. So she cooked all that food and wasn't able to have any of it.

by Anonymousreply 54November 25, 2022 7:58 PM

R22/53 Your dad needs to be slipped a medible for Xmas. Or spike his tab, but he sounds TOO easy to have fun with.

by Anonymousreply 55November 25, 2022 7:59 PM

Went to my nephews place. His fiancé is a lovely Swedish girl working on her PhD. Wen my MAGA brother on his sixth beer started on his Biden rant" the worst Potus in history. and a pedo, Hunters laptop ect ect. Malin calmly got up and whispered to her Alexa. This song came on and we all laughed so hard we had to leave the room. I adore her.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 56November 25, 2022 8:11 PM

MAGA relatives are the fucking worst.

by Anonymousreply 57November 25, 2022 8:30 PM

R56, Gnarls Barkley is a sexual predator with multiple sexual assaults on his record. I don't think your story is true, but if it is, "Malin" sounds like a cunt.

by Anonymousreply 58November 25, 2022 9:06 PM

I like to dedicate this song to R58

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 59November 25, 2022 10:13 PM

R58 You sound gnarly.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 60November 25, 2022 10:21 PM

Sat through and evening with passive aggressive sister and SIL. Making backhanded comments about how expensive my shoes were and the desert I bought. Dinner was great though.

by Anonymousreply 61November 25, 2022 10:42 PM

Holy shit ! I have you all beat...

Two weeks ago I married into this freaky family. They had billions (so they said) and my family has billions (so I've counted). I married the second daughter of the father with the second wife / mistress. None of the kids in this family is what you'd call 'beautiful' or even 'remotely attractive' and the one I married is probably the homeliest, but she has an inheritance worth a king's ransom.

So we have Thanksgiving at her father's Florida home called Mar-A-Lardo and the whole family is there. I just spent my wedding with them, but don't remember much because one of the sons girlfriend gave me enough Coke to ski down Mt. Everest. The stepmother - the third wife of this old dude - asks me to sit next to her, on her left since I'm right-handed. Odd request, but fine. She's not half bad for a 52 year old European broad. My wife is sitting at the other end of the table - on her daddy's lap. WTF?

Shrimp cocktail is served, and this step-mother named 'Melania' looks at me seductively as she sucks on the shrimp. Holy Fuck ! This 25 year old is getting a boner quicker than you can say 'impeachment'. She then grabs my right hand and puts it up her dress so I can massage her pussy. Ho-lee-fuck! She's as smooth as a baby's bottom and the more I massage, the more she moans and groans as she eats her shrimp. The turkey is served, and she tells me to grab the drumstick. I do as told, and the next thing I know she's guiding my hand with the drumstick in it and I shove it up her pussy! Ho-lee-shit ! She moans, she groans, her head spins 360 degrees like Linda Blair in 'The Exorcist' while her eyes roll into the back of her head.

My cock is throbbing in my pants and I'm ready to shoot like Mount Vesuvio, when I see some kind of dark-haired she-beast under the table, between my legs with her mouth on my cock. It's the brother's girlfriend who Coked me up at my wedding. Next thing I know, my new brother-in-law 'Eric' is sitting on my left and grabs my left hand to stroke him off. I ain't into no gay shit, but damn I like this. Meanwhile, my new bride Tiffany is climaxing as her father bounces her up and down on his lap, singing 'Giddy-up horsey'.

Damn, if this is Thanksgiving dinner - I can't wait until we return for Christmas !

by Anonymousreply 62November 26, 2022 2:45 AM

One of the kids said it’s a countdown 321 and all of the kids farted at the same time. You could no longer smell turkey. It was turkey farts galore.

by Anonymousreply 63November 26, 2022 2:48 AM

r36, yeah, the family and I went back and determined I must have contracted it last weekend when I was visiting my sister in Northern California. She wasn't sick, but she did say she'd been feeling off and had some vertigo. I wore a mask anytime we went indoors...except at her house. I'm just sad because I exposed my entire family, including my dementia ridden mother, my step father with heart problems, my 80 year old MAGA aunt and my brother with MS.

Everyone has tested today and were negative except me. I went an got a PCR and rapid test. Rapid test also came back positive like my home tests did. Still very mild, thankfully. I just had the 4th Omicron booster at the end of September and I'm really grateful I did.

by Anonymousreply 64November 26, 2022 3:28 AM

Things are heating up in this episode of [italic]Lord of the Mormon Flies: The Mountain Years[/italic]...

Crud Niece found out about the Proud Boys when she wore a bumblebee costume on Halloween and another kid said she looked like one. She later googled the name and watched a bunch of fights on YouTube.

My dad: But why was she able to search that? Don't you have some kind of parental control software?

Crud Parents: Yes, of course we do.

Crud Niece: No, we don't!

Crud Parents, shooting death rays: Yes. We. Do. Go. To. The. Other. Room.

Dad: I'm going to rest my eyes.

I'm tempted to go out and buy something that will provoke a sows-at-the-trough response, but the only thing open is a Crumbl that's kind of a drive. It might be worth it.

by Anonymousreply 65November 26, 2022 4:50 AM

The best Thanksgivings I recall were when I was in my 20's in LA. All single gay guys and girls would have a orphans Thanksgiving at Confetti Apts. Ate and drank and toked and everyone got their bird stuffed afterword's.. These days I get to smell peepaws colostomy bag. Guess I'm lucky most of those guys are long gone.

by Anonymousreply 66November 26, 2022 1:57 PM

[R64] By any chance, when you went to visit her - did you go by plane, train, bus, etc. ? Once out there, did you use any public transportation ? These are big culprits in spreading the virus during the holiday season.

by Anonymousreply 67November 26, 2022 4:08 PM

R22 I would love to hear more about your father.

Please keep the stories coming, everyone.

by Anonymousreply 68November 26, 2022 7:53 PM

Cousin's boyfriend slapped my ass for doing a good job with the turkey. He's not gay, just the locker room jock type.

by Anonymousreply 69November 26, 2022 8:06 PM

I was going to guess the father ambushing his son with a glucometer was Mormon.

They are a driven people, aren't they?

by Anonymousreply 70November 26, 2022 8:11 PM

I went to work at my Swiss university. I was borderline cunty to as student who showed me the most pitiable presentation (a draft) on Elon Musk. Fortunately it was not in front of an entire class, but in a small group. Sometimes I just can't with this Gen Z generation who grew up attached to the Internet but have ZERO information literacy and ZERO curiosity and ZERO intellectual ambition. I don't predict great things in this young person's future.

by Anonymousreply 71November 26, 2022 8:12 PM

R68/R70, I don’t know what to say about him except that I’m living proof that Dataloungers are born, not made. For an ostensibly straight man, he sure is a snippy queen.

He always had weird competitions and challenges for us when we were growing up. From minor: I’m checking your bedrooms right now, and the kid with the cleanest one decides where we go for dinner to tonight.

To insane: You need to learn how to overcome fear before you get out into the real world, so….you’re going to take flight lessons and get your private pilot license! Yay!

To life-changing: Graduate from law school, even if you have no intention of practicing, and I’ll pay for any and all education you choose to pursue after.

CrudBro refused to participate in any of these schemes, so he was put at a disadvantage which continues to this day and seems to get worse with every passing year.

Before you feel sorry for him, he's always been a huge cunt. His three topics of conversation are 1) video games, 2) sausage-making, and 3) what Joe Rogan, Elon Musk, and Anthony Bourdain (yes, still) said. He used to have four topics, but there hasn’t been a peep about crypto this year.

I decided not to make the drive to buy cookies last night, so instead I’m going to casually mention that all of the ancient movies produced by the cult are on Youtube now. Then I’ll just happen to land on [italic]Run Dick, Run Jane[/italic] to stream.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 72November 26, 2022 11:34 PM

r67, no public transportation at all. I drove up the coast and met her at her house. Wore a mask everywhere indoors. I had to have been infected by my sister but she was asymptomatic. It's likely we'll never know but what I do know is that I'm very grateful for all the boosters as yes, I am sick, but it's really mild compared to the flu that I've had in the past. A lot of coughing though but no fever. Found out today I can't take paxlovid because it raises your blood pressure and I'm on medication for mine. They did give me a z pack for if it turns into pneumonia. I won't take it unless it does.

by Anonymousreply 73November 27, 2022 12:43 AM

Mine was pretty normal.

No major scandals, just had to listen to my parents and aunt naming all the people they know that are currently dying.

I didn't get enough stuffing, though.

by Anonymousreply 74November 27, 2022 12:55 AM

[quote]Found out today I can't take paxlovid because it raises your blood pressure and I'm on medication for mine.

Hmmm - I was on Paxlovid and I'm also on meds for high blood pressure (Metoprolol, a beta blocker). The only thing my doctor told be to stop was Atoravastin for cholesterol, because it will not be effective while I was on Plaxovid.

by Anonymousreply 75November 27, 2022 1:16 AM

The incompatible antihypertensive drug is aliskiren, which is a renin inhibitor. With calcium channel blockers, we reduce the dose for a week (five days for the full course of Pax, and two days after).

by Anonymousreply 76November 27, 2022 1:39 AM

Against my better judgment, I attended a "friendsgiving," hosted by a good friend of one of my best friends. I had gone there previously, so it was not a new thing. The host invited me because he learned that I was going to be alone on Thursday.

Nearly thirty people crammed into a 2BR/1BA apartment. The mean age was probably 65 and mostly lonely old gay men and butch lesbians. Every one of them cheapskates. I was asked to bring a side (I took two) and everybody was supposed to bring whatever they wanted to drink. Anticipating a dearth of ice at a party, I loaded up my cooler with ice and put a 12-pack of Heineken in it. I left the cooler on the balcony with other coolers filled with cheap soda and PBR and Coors Light. I had one of my beers and when I went to get a second, all my Heinekens were gone. I looked around the by-then darkened living room to see all the cheapskates with a Heineken.

When the host announced that it was time to eat, everybody pushed and shoved their way to the tables. By the time I got to the food, all the turkey and ham was gone. My side dishes were gone. The massive vat of mashed potatoes was gone. The only thing left was a corn pone that should not have been served to human beings and a bowl of cranberries. I sat down with a plate of corn pone and cranberry gunk only to be interrupted by a call to hold hands for a prayer.

Five minutes later, I went to wash my hands before leaving and somebody had thrown very shitty toilet paper in the wastebasket. The tiny bathroom reeked. I left after waving bye to the host from across the room, drove through a Wendy's, and then straight home. Never again.

by Anonymousreply 77November 27, 2022 1:44 AM

Jesus Christ, R77, that sounds WRETCHED.

by Anonymousreply 78November 27, 2022 1:49 AM

guests might have given us covid

by Anonymousreply 79November 27, 2022 1:51 AM

R69 Yeah, right. He literally hit on you.

by Anonymousreply 80November 27, 2022 2:01 AM

I had to tell my husband’s son to pipe down. We were watching a football game the day after thanksgiving and he kept yelling “fuck.” His stupid wife didn’t say anything so I had to.

by Anonymousreply 81December 7, 2022 1:13 AM

R79 might have been my host. I know I gave two people Covid at a Friendsgiving we all attended.

by Anonymousreply 82December 7, 2022 1:33 AM

Aunt Shelley crapped herself again.

And she's only 45.

by Anonymousreply 83December 7, 2022 1:42 AM

I'm only involved with the maternal side of my family. Our uncle (grandmas brother), was cucked by his better looking and more successful brother brutally. It was discovered in the mid 90s that three of his four children, were his brothers kids, and then his wife left him to be with the brother for good. They married and are still together having had two more children. My other uncle never remarried. Let's call the cuckold uncle "Mike" and the sinister uncle "James". James is a very cold very arrogant preening jerk, he's never interacted with me in any way besides touring me around his house bragging about various purchases. Mike is a lovely guy with a great sense of humor who is really warm to everybody. The children who were raised under false pretense stuck by their cuckold "dad", the family is completely split down the middle. Me and my mom go to both Thanksgivings and our neutrality is tolerated. The woman is a disgusting fat pig and she wasn't a looker in the 90s either so the whole thing confuses me. I've never experienced actual drama at Thanksgiving, but our holiday routine is born from it I guess.

by Anonymousreply 84December 7, 2022 1:54 AM
Loading
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.

×

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!