Should I Read My Uncle's Will Now While He's Still Alive? I am His Next of Kin and Executor

He gave it to you along with the responsibility. Go ahead and read it in case there are any surprises, you'll be prepared

Read it! I want to know. And what R1 said.

As executor, you do get paid for the work involved in interacting with his lawyer.

Is it in a sealed envelope?

Also, besides being executor and having power of attorney for his estate, are you also the person designated to make sure his Living Will and/or any Advance Directives for medical decisions are carried out? If that's part of what he gave you, then you would need to know what his wishes are before anything happens

Your Uncle Bottom?

Well, Fred, I knew you were a shit and your parents were shits so it all makes sense.

I have called my friend the lawyer and changed everything. You're out and it's none of your business who's replaced you. Go ahead and read my old will.

And weep.

And you know that terrible mishap that traumatized everyone in the family?

It was suicide.

First line of the will...

"If my nosy nephew should read this will before I'm gone... You get nothing! For reasons well known to you 😠 "

You have every right to read it. And if not the specifics let us know if he was generous to you or behaved like a total shit and left all his money to charity. This way if he needs end of life care you won't be wasting your time like Paulina Porizkova.

I'm all about being prepared, so I'd read it. When the time comes, you won't be subject to any surprises.

can you please write me into it?

I doubt he wouldn’t leave you anything if he appointed you executor, OP.

Just read it, clarify anything that’s uncertain now that your uncle is still around, and be sure to add notes to the document.

R10 after me, please

I would look at it.

A while back, my older brother (divorced w/one child) asked me to be the trustee for his trust, which is like being a will executor, I guess. Anyway, he has a difficult ex-wife and a step-child that he's close to despite the divorce.

I was our mom's trustee & I did administer the trust. It was tedious, but pretty straightforward.

I looked at my brother's documents and knew there would be drama with me as the referee. We have other siblings, so my sister agreed to be the trustee, instead. She looked at the documents and, also, didn't want to deal with the drama.

My brother said he'd clean things up, blah blah blah.

Anyway, I'm glad we (my sister and I) both told him that the trust wasn't set up very well.

Please read it OP. I'm bored as fuck. We can have a will reading party. I'll get the drinkie-poos ready. And I have some Xanax on hand for you juuuuuust in case things go south.

"and be sure to add notes to the document."

OP, do NOT listen to R11. It's a lawyer-signed, witness-signed legal document. I wouldn't be adding any of my own notes to another person's will.

Executors are usually one of the people who have to be there next when it's notarized. You weren't, OP?

Assuming your uncle is still of sound mind, go over it with him OP. My parents went over their wills with me and my four siblings plus gave us info on all of their accounts. It’s very straight forward with any remaining assets to be divided equally among us five. My parents made me the Executor and my sister Co-Executor on the advice of their attorney because we are the youngest. She and I spoke to our sister and brothers about it because any of them and/or their spouses would be so much better at it. My sister and I both have ADHD, are disorganized and don’t do well under pressure. We all agreed not to make any changes but that they would help us and when the time comes, we could refuse and ask two of them to take over if necessary. If I hadn’t seen the will I would have asked my parents not to make me Executor but doing so would be admitting I am an irresponsible fuck up. I’m glad they have faith in my sister and me but know neither of us are probably up for it.

Why would he give you a copy unless it was for you to read it? Typically it is the original signed copy that holds up in court. You just have a photocopy - I hope. Read it.

Read it. Make sure you know where the original Will is. Sit down with your family uncle and ask where all his accounts are. You will need this information either as attorney or executor. Ask about insurance policies as well.

read it, maybe he confesses something in it that you can blackmail him with while he's still alive

[quote]Executors are usually one of the people who have to be there next when it's notarized.

Most states don’t require wills to be notarized, and if they do, the executor has nothing to do with it. In CA, for instance, if you hand write your entire will, it only needs to be signed. If it’s printed, it requires two witnesses. A power of attorney requires a notary, but a POA ceases to exist after the death of the person.

He has a copy of the will, so of course he can make notes on it.

In NY, it's a requirement that a will be notarized. At least my lawyer had me notarize mine.

[quote] He has a copy of the will, so of course he can make notes on it.

If it's a notarized copy, you shouldn't write notes on it. Even if it's not notarized, you shouldn't write on it. Who knows what happened to the original and this may be the closest thing to an original.

Make an extra copy and write all the notes you want on it.

The other posters are correct. Do not write on the will — it could invalidate it.

Agree. Don't write on the fucking thing. NOW can you please read it to us?

Besides which, what kind of fucking notes would you need to write on it?

I vote that we all receive a contributing" mention.

R25 I haven't contributed but I think I should be included in that because it wouldn't be fair otherwise. Why should only contributing thread members get the mention? I deserve to have a mention because I'm identifying as a contributor. Please stop being so exclusive. We live in an inclusive society now. And we should be mentioned in the will too.

R26- Exactly! It's a INCLUSIVE WILL!

OP here. Just checking in to say I appreciate the responses. I hadn't really thought about some of the issues you raised so will definitely take them into account. To be clear, I HAVE read everything he gave me, just not the will. And I won't be home where it's all located until Monday.

[quote] In NY, it's a requirement that a will be notarized. At least my lawyer had me notarize mine.

No, it's not a requirement to notarize a will in NY. However, it makes it easier to probate the will (otherwise they have to track down the witnesses) so that is why your lawyer had you do it.

R29 If you go that route, you notarize the witnesses' signatures, not the signature of the person executing the will (not to say some don't do it anyway).

Not sure about other states, but in NY an original “wet signature” copy of the will is required for probate. Don’t rely on the existence of photocopies of a will.

So, did you read the will OP? How much will we all get?

Of course you should read it, Op. you’re the Executor. It’s your job.

If you just had access to it but were not the Executor, then reading it would make you a greedy little bitch. But since he gave it to you as the Executor it's your responsibility to read it. You need to be prepared. Sometimes people put WILD expectations in there that can't be met. Like wanting their ashes thrown off the top of the Empire State Building. I actually know someone that wanted that and put their partner in a terrible stress not being able to do that and feeling guilty about it. It took them a year before they could come to terms with that and actually doing something with the ashes.

Look at it this way, if you were a lawyer who was given this document as executor, it would be malpractice not to read it and know what your responsibilities will be on the day it's to be executed.

Read it so you have a clear understanding of the intent of his wishes you will be carrying out. Organizations he has left money to may change their areas of focus by the time he passes. It’s good to track them now.

While you are at it, talk with him about his funeral plans. Cremation or burial? A close friend is serving as the executor for his aunt who died with a will, but she went so quickly she was not able to state if she wanted a traditional service with calling hours, service and cemetery burial or not. Talk about the readings or hymns the uncle wants at the service. You may learn more about each other during those conversations.

But think very carefully before having that heart-to-heart. Not everyone is up for a "will it be cremation or burial" chat.

My partner gave me a copy of his will.

Not only didn't I read it and threw the copy away. I don't care as I have my own assets and don't need handouts.

I'm also the executor but have no intention of being involved with all that crap.

JFC....Read the fucking thing already. I've been waiting since this was posted and I'm getting impatient and frustrated. Yes, it IS all about me.. Read and report back ASAP, OP.

"As executor, you do get paid for the work involved in interacting with his lawyer."

That depends on whether the. will allows for payment of the executor or not.

Read it. I made the mistake of not reading the copy of my mother's will she gave me

My mother died in 2019, as far as I know, she didn't leave me anything in her will, not even a note or a letter. We were estranged the last 14 years of her life so, no surprise. My other three brothers did that tacky thing where they set a day and time to show up at my father's house and go through her things - and then two of them showed up 4 hours early and took everything, all of her jewelry! I don't know what gets into people. This is why I don't want other people's things, lay no claim to them and express zero interest. In fairness to my mother, years ago she did tell me to let her know if I wanted any of her possessions and she would put it in the will - and I just stared at her blankly. I would've preferred if she'd contributed to my life while she was alive by actually being a good mother.

I don't expect to get anything in my father's will which will probably be more financial in nature and their one property which isn't really much, it might be worth about $300,000. It's not coming to me and I wouldn't want to get down in the mud and fight with everyone else over it anyway.

Frankly I don’t know why you’re even asking the question. It’s like say when I take a course in college should I look at all the resources and assignments.

You were not made his executor against your will. You were made his executor because he believed you to be competent to carry out his “will”. Read it!

I suspect you are a troll for being this clueless.

[quote] My mother died in 2019, as far as I know, she didn't leave me anything in her will, not even a note or a letter.

[quote] I don't expect to get anything in my father's will which will probably be more financial in nature

You may be watching too many movies. All wills are financial. They rarely contain notes or personal remarks to their heirs.

If the will directs you to make a contribution to a charity of your choice, please consider the Datalounge Foundation for Impoverished Frequent Posters.

[quote]My uncle had no kids and I am his closest relative

I misread this at first as "his CLOSET relative" and I was immediately concerned you should tend to yourself first...

Anyhoo, I would read it so I could plan.

"I leave my Fortune to Ralph Kramden."

OP Here! Thanks to my DL friends' advice I pulled out the packet to read it...and guess what? The will isn't in it!

In the packet there is the lawyer's cover letter which states there are 3 documents enclosed, the first of which is "copy of Last Will and Testament" . I didn't know until today that the will isn't in the packet he gave me, just the other two documents, Original Advance Healthcare Directive and Durable General Power of Attorney.

Do I ask him for a copy of the will? If so, on what grounds? If not, I of course know who the attorney is to get a copy of it when the time comes.

Of course ask him for it…you’re entitled to see it.

It's good to know what's what before emotion clouds your judgement. You'll know how to handle what you find.

Read it now and ask any questions you might have....if you aren't aware all assets and where to find them, it can be a really difficult process.

No, you are not yet executor and you are not "entitled" to see the will. Fairly obvious your uncle pulled the copy of the will out from the lawyer's packet before handing it to you. No doubt he had his reasons. Time to put this aside and worry about something else.

Is he hot? He sounds hot…

If you get anything please pay for all of our anonymous subscriptions.

[quote] Fairly obvious your uncle pulled the copy of the will out from the lawyer's packet before handing it to you

It's not obvious at all. The cover letter says a will is enclosed and yet there is no will. OP will be blamed for losing it.

R54 Blamed? For what. It's just a photocopy, of no legal significance whatever. The lawyer has the one original.