Let's be things in Donald Trump's safe

The pee tapes

Ivanka's cherry.

His actual taxes.

His gold cock ring.

A can of orange spray paint. I'm actually everywhere throughout the house in case a quick touch up is needed.

Ivana's taxidermied head mounted on wooden plaque.

I'm Ivanka's first bra

Roger Stone's used anal plug.

r8, Trump doesn't have that, I do.

I'm extra small toothbrushes for extra small hands and extra small mouths with weak chins.

A bucket of children's tears collected by Stephen Miller at the border.

His dignity

I'm the bottle of Adderall.

His prized Barack Obama voodoo doll.

Lindsey Graham's pride.

Melania's Epstein visa.

The satellite phone that Putin gave him for use only in extreme emergencies requiring immediate departure from the United States.

Receipt for Melania.

A delivery menu from McDonald's.

Love letters from Kim Jong-un.

I'm a framed picture of HRC with horns and a mustache drawn on with my favorite sharpie and a little speech bubble 💬 that says "Lock me up!"

Depends

[quote]I'm a framed picture of HRC with horns and a mustache drawn on with my favorite sharpie and a little speech bubble 💬 that says "Lock me up!

Oh, I'm sorry! No! I'm not in the safe. I'm on the nightstand next to the bed.

A copy of Mein Kampf.

Hitler's dick in a jar, that he sucks every night.

r24, no, that's in the drawer where he keeps his jackoff material

Roy Cohn's ashes, which he snorts in time of need.

That's not his cock ring, R4 -it's his first wedding ring. Easy mistake to make...

A photo of Kim Jong-Un in a heart shaped picture frame signed : Love always, Your special little Rocket Man.

Hours and hours of surveillance videos and hundreds of photos from various Epstein and Trump properties, featuring many special guest stars.

A keepsake jar of teenage girl teeth from missing apprentice J.E. spa attendants.

Ivanka's actual baby pictures and somewhat-more-recent "baby pictures." Goo goo ga ga, daddy.

Fake Alien federation treaty papers from when he met with them. They then they switched the real ones with fakes. They knew he was he was gonna use to the papers to hold Biden hostage over prosecuting him for stealing state secrets. Now the federal government is in a jam and the Aliens are laughing.

Donald Jr.'s penis and balls. Eric's brain.

The souvenir panties he took from the little girl he raped,

Pictures of Macron banging twinks

A DNA test showing he's not Barron's father. And DNA tests proving he *is* the father of many secret babies.

Receipts for abortions.

Barron's weak, Trumpian jaw and anus-like mouth preclude the need for DNA testing. Unless the father is actually a stepbrother.

I wonder if he'll get a bunch of cosmetic procedures like his mommy and stepsiblings.

I doubt that any illegitimate Don-spawn made it to full term (or much beyond it).

Half-brothers, R36. Step-siblings do not share a biological parent.

Collection of Proud Boy pics with sycophants Lindsey, Sarah, and others.

His bottles of Viagra...he keeps them there, because Melania throws them out when they aren't locked-up.

The boner pills that Dr. Oz sold to him

LadyG’s appointment book for scheduling gentleman callers. While LadyG was in a drunken state in her Mar-a-Lago suite, DJT had Eric swipe the book for him. What a trove of information DJT would use to ensure loyalties.

I'm the signed copy of The Art of the Deal. In hardback

I’m his Valtrex prescription for his genital herpes. I’m made out, though, in the name of one his aides (not AIDS) who he makes shamefully go to the pharmacy for pickup and then delivery. I make the blisters on his misshapen peen go away faster.

Monkeypox meds for Jared

From the horse's mouth.

LadyG’s pasties used for the ballroom shows.

The value will only increase over the years.