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Gays who shame gays for liking 'straight-acting' men

Why do you think some gays pour scorn on other gays for saying they like butch or straight-acting men?

Before the Second World War, homosexuals - known more colloquially as fairies or queens - always sought straight-identified men (called 'trade'). They wouldn't dare get off with a 'sister'. Of course, technically speaking, trade were also engaging in gay sex or gay relationships. But the point was that such men were deemed much more masculine or 'real' because they tended to be conventionally masculine and assume the active / top role in sex. They might also have sex with women. The same thing happened in Latin America and other non-Western places.

My own hunch is that some gays don't like the fact that their masculinity might be called into question if other gays pass them over in favour of 'straight-acting' men. We all seem so desperate to appear masculine that the idea that we AREN'T as masculine as heterosexuals is really unpalatable.

by Anonymousreply 42August 18, 2022 6:40 PM

There's nothing wrong with liking masculine men, but liking straight men because you think all gay men are doomed to be unattractive is pathetic.

by Anonymousreply 1August 15, 2022 11:20 AM

The proper term is “masculine.”

by Anonymousreply 2August 15, 2022 11:25 AM

There's a reason you don't see many screaming queens in gay porn.

by Anonymousreply 3August 15, 2022 11:36 AM

R3 what's interesting though is that if a model has a 'gay voice' they will be edited out as much as possible in terms of when they speak, so that their voice doesn't come across much.

by Anonymousreply 4August 15, 2022 11:53 AM

I'm attracted to masculine guys, almost exclusively, but 'straight acting' to me summons up images of horrendous neurotic closet cases.

by Anonymousreply 5August 15, 2022 12:05 PM

I never understood why anyone cares what kind of guy anyone likes. Straight, straight acting, gay, gay acting, fat, skinny, whatever. Like who you like, let me like who I like.

I don't necessarily like "straight acting" but I don't think I would ever be attracted to overly feminine, either.

by Anonymousreply 6August 15, 2022 12:06 PM

It’s very quaint to think of a time where straight acting was a thing. Now you’re just lucky if the people who message you on Grindr don’t have two giant surgical wounds across their chest and puffy women nipples.

by Anonymousreply 7August 15, 2022 12:10 PM

feminism

and gay male studies, particularly in the U.S, being derivative of women studies, and in turn, feminist perspectives on gay male sexuality. . .

of course, we could also suggest that it applies to the broader problems in feminism and women studies that ignores biological realities, save for their one cry of trans in particular male to female trans and how the rhetoric traces back to radical feminist theories... both 'modern' feminism and radical feminism tends to have a piss poor view of gay men as anything but female imitation. The latter assumes gay men are autogynophiles and the former believing that is what we should strive towards.. Because otherwise we have internalized homophobia, and under those theories, homophobia doesn't truly exist and is only a stand-in for misogyny.

in either case, they view us as neither wholly male nor female, we are to be but eunuchs to the temples of their worship, the gay bff.

by Anonymousreply 8August 15, 2022 12:59 PM

R5 yes I agree that 'straight-acting' can bring up closet cases, but also it can simply be a way for a man to indicate that at least how he sees things, his attraction to the same-sex is the only thing that differentiates him from other men, as opposed to other gays, who might be quite different in other ways as well, not just the fact they're attracted to other males.

by Anonymousreply 9August 15, 2022 1:01 PM

Why can’t “masculine” be used?

by Anonymousreply 10August 15, 2022 1:06 PM

r9 just as feminine "lipstick" lesbians tend to receive more flak from the lesbian community than "butches"... there's a similar conflict in the gay community when one doesn't present "signs" of being gay. . . accusations of being str8 does happen, though on rarer occasion to claims of being self hating.

Personally, I think it's the loss of gay communication, codes and symbols. . . hence, one doesn't find this present so much while "cruising" vs more socialable avenues... also, comparatively, it's more of a scene issue in the cities than in the burbs or boonies.

by Anonymousreply 11August 15, 2022 1:06 PM

Is “straight-acting” considered a step above “masculine”?

by Anonymousreply 12August 15, 2022 1:07 PM

[quote] There's a reason you don't see many screaming queens in gay porn.

I'm sorry, what gay porn are you watching? It's almost entirely screaming queens in gay porn these days.

by Anonymousreply 13August 15, 2022 1:10 PM

r10 because "str8-acting" is established. . . and there are bearded drag queens, hairy bears with limp wrists and lisps, etc... masculine is variable.

r12 No, it was basically saying you're more traditionally masculine... without having to run into the problems of saying you're "conservative" as most in the gay sphere would take that to mean political and frankly, even socially would create offense to some.

although, over time, as with clickbait, all words lose their definitions with exposure to wider populations, crossing borders and generations.

now hardly a person could agree on what hanky codes represent.. even when they add them to the new and improved pride flag because even what the flag represented had lost its meaning.

by Anonymousreply 14August 15, 2022 1:13 PM

[quote]because "str8-acting" is established

Is this gay law?

“Straight-acting” seems more desirable than masculine though, that’s my observation. It seems above masculine, that’s I wonder when they’re going to start capitalizing “Straight”.

by Anonymousreply 15August 15, 2022 1:17 PM

[quote]his attraction to the same-sex is the only thing that differentiates him from other men, as opposed to other gays, who might be quite different in other ways as well, not just the fact they're attracted to other males.

Why don't you just say "normal" then?

by Anonymousreply 16August 15, 2022 2:38 PM

I must admit that I fancied a few straigght guys, but not that hypermasculine exaggerated type that often screams closet or various hang ups.

They were nice, mainstream, cute, friendly, laid back guys. And they really were straight, hence, it was unrequited. But, I like a nice "sister" as well. It just happened that I was spending time with these straight guys in some period of my life and I couldn't not notice their charms.

by Anonymousreply 17August 15, 2022 3:03 PM

Would could be more straight acting than a woman trying to get off with men R7 ?

by Anonymousreply 18August 15, 2022 4:17 PM

All gender is performative.

by Anonymousreply 19August 15, 2022 5:11 PM

I've never found a straight man attractive simply because he was straight. I have, unfortunately, found many straight men attractive because of their physical hotness or personality. I don't want to 'convert' them, I want them to convert on their own, then call me.

by Anonymousreply 20August 15, 2022 8:20 PM

Let people like what they like.

by Anonymousreply 21August 16, 2022 3:59 AM

As if

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 22August 16, 2022 4:16 AM

Oops, wrong thread

by Anonymousreply 23August 16, 2022 4:16 AM

What is the difference between "straight acting" and masculine. I like a masculine guy who is gay but could totally pass as straight. Experimental straight men, especially married men, all tend to be bottoms. That is one thing porn has got wrong.

by Anonymousreply 24August 16, 2022 5:02 AM

[...]

by Anonymousreply 25August 16, 2022 5:31 AM

"Straight-acting" is such a bullshit term.

It implies that mincing shrieking limp wristed behavior is the default gay-behavior, when it's not. Most gay guys are "straight acting" because that's just how average men behave. They move thru life not automatically being pegged as gay.

They're not "straight-acting" they're just average with average mannerisms.

by Anonymousreply 26August 16, 2022 10:17 AM

I went for the straight acting gay guy years ago. Fast forward 30 year and he's now in his late 50's, drinking beer every day, put on about 40lbs, does not get gay jokes, humor, has no interest in movies or plays beyond a one time viewing, hates shopping for clothes, the only thing that makes him happy now is working on old cars from the 70's.

by Anonymousreply 27August 16, 2022 10:47 AM

A straight man

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 28August 16, 2022 11:44 AM

It’s “Straight-acting”, not “straight-acting”.

by Anonymousreply 29August 16, 2022 12:13 PM

Anyone who uses the term straight acting is damaged

by Anonymousreply 30August 16, 2022 1:28 PM

The correct term is “masculine.” I also see a lot of dudes use the terms “mainstream” or “nonstereotypical.”

by Anonymousreply 31August 16, 2022 1:29 PM

Insecurity. Anyone who scorns other people for their preferences/ choices is insecure, be it for "straight-acting" guys or the opposite. They damaged

I prefer guys that flame from space, and I got shit for that from people sometimes

A good example of a healthy attitude on this is R6

[quote]I never understood why anyone cares what kind of guy anyone likes. Straight, straight acting, gay, gay acting, fat, skinny, whatever. Like who you like, let me like who I like.

And R21

[quote]Let people like what they like.

I have found myself attracted to straight guys sometimes, but usually they arent very masculine, as R20 says. And R25 got a good point, not all straight men are masculine. I gets confused when that happens though i have to say

by Anonymousreply 32August 16, 2022 3:43 PM

It’s “Straight-acting”. Capitalize Straight, people.

by Anonymousreply 33August 16, 2022 3:49 PM

He he v8fairy, we get it that the guys you were attracted to were not very masc.

by Anonymousreply 34August 16, 2022 3:50 PM

Im attracted to guy who are butch.

by Anonymousreply 35August 17, 2022 7:53 AM

Always thought that butch was originally lesbian term R35

by Anonymousreply 36August 17, 2022 7:55 AM

chill

laid-back

dudebro

jock

regular guy

no drama

by Anonymousreply 37August 17, 2022 8:02 AM

[quote]Always thought that butch was originally lesbian term

No, it wasn't. Not back in the 70's and even 80's. But yeah, now most of the time it means a masculine lesbian. "straight-acting" wasn't a term used back then because apps were not invented at that point to describe the type of person you were seeking.

by Anonymousreply 38August 18, 2022 10:10 AM

Ya know someone is old when they use the term Butch to refer to men

by Anonymousreply 39August 18, 2022 12:42 PM

I came out in the 80s. "Straight-acting" was absolutely in use back then; as evidenced by the examples above of ads in gay rags, men seeking other men would often use the term, and I recall reading op-ed pieces in those same rags decrying the usage of the term.

by Anonymousreply 40August 18, 2022 12:42 PM

R40 same here, early 80's and yes "straight-acting" was in common usage then, "butch" was too.

by Anonymousreply 41August 18, 2022 5:25 PM

I like conventionally masculine bros. Sexual orientation does not matter to me. I’ve been quite successful with mostly straight dudes and guys who never have been with a dude before, but if a gay guy happens to be conventionally masculine, I can be attracted to him too

by Anonymousreply 42August 18, 2022 6:40 PM
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