How do you feel about affair babies?

I've never heard anyone call them that. Is that your personal term for illegitimate children?

Get over it.

I judged an ex-friend harshly for treating her half sibling, her dad’s love child, like shit. Blood is blood and it isnt the child’s fault

R1 It's an old timey legal concept that was thrown out by American courts in the late 60s.

Messy messy. I wouldn’t want to mess up my family by insisting they be invited to a wedding. Can’t the relationship happen separately? And why would you show up to a wedding if everyone there hated you?

R1, "affair baby" is what I've always heard it called.

I am very nearly one of these, but not quite.

Just an early-in-life "mistake" that my father's family tried to ignore and deny for decades.

His other kid even had birth announcement reading "our first grandchild and our son's first child".

Then when my brother found out I existed, they told him they paid off my mom to walk away. Which is utter bullshit.

Gutter!

R4, you can change the law, but you can't change what they are.

OP's family.

R3, the affair baby is a physical manifestation of infidelity. Betrayal in the flesh.

R11 what is this, the scarlet letter?

if born of bastards the bastard is a vampire!

Put yourself in my aunt's place. Would you not feel that your daughter betrayed you by throwing the product of her husband's infidelity in her face?

R14 no, because everyone is related to people they would rather not be.

Your aunt is dumb and should have carried herself as though this is simply another distant relation.

Her husband is the one that deserves to be treated like a shithead.

Idiotic post

In my day we called them bastards. There were oodles of them at the Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside Home for Unwed Mothers just on the other side of wishing well in Mountebank.

(Different from!)

Different from the rest!

I am one of these "Affair Babies", however I prefer the term LOVE CHILD.

What Happened: My father, cheated on his wife with my mother. She wanted to have an abortion, but my father talked her out of it. My father told her he would raise me. He fessed up to his wife about what had happened, and she ended up staying with him. They brought me home when I was 3 months old.

How It Was For Me: My stepmother, had a baby from a previous marriage, that was almost 2 years old when I came home. We grew up together as brothers. We were both in a spot where someone wasn't our parent so we sympathized with that as we became older, and aware of our situation. I always felt wanted by my father, but it was always detached with my stepmother. I can't say I blame her. When my father died, she made it clear she didn't want anything to do with me. I started working as much as I could during high school, and upon graduation, I moved away. I didn't ever speak to her after that. My step brother died, and I have no idea where she is.

"Season's Greetings to Our Friends and Family" situations are to be avoided, if at all possible.

Your cousin sounds really weird. To choose an illegitimate half sibling over their own parent sounds very passive aggressive. Ah well, in the age of 23 and me I'm sure there will be plenty of these little melodramas in the years to come.

Weddings are bullshit anyway and often turn into a war between family factions.

If OP's relative is real, she made a wise choice.

Khloe Kardashian is one of my FAV Kardashian sisters. So yeah, treating people different because of the circumstances in which they were conceived is a bit archaic, is it not?

OP, what did your uncle say or do about that?

The cousin sounds sane, and did the right thing by forgoing the big wedding and getting married at the court house.

I hope she spent it on a better honeymoon for herself.

I am R3 and I wanted to add when my ex-friend’s dad died, he got a nice writeup in the NY Times and I could tell my friend and her family had helped because the love child’s name was nowhere in the article although his other children were mentioned. I just think it is effed up and wrong

It is NOT the fault of the so-called "affair baby" that the parent - mother or father - is a lying cheating piece of garbage.

The child should be accepted and treated as any half-sibling if it were from second marriage or any other "legitimate" situation.

The ONLY person who should be shunned is the lying, cheating piece of garbage for stepping out of the marriage and having a kid, not the child who had no say in the the selfish, miserable choices of either parent.

People who blame the kid or take out their misplaced anger on a kid who had nothing to do with the indecent actions of either of their parents are just as much garbage as the cheaters themselves. I don't care if the kid is a "living reminder" of the person's infidelity. It's not the kid's problem that you have misplaced anger and find it easier emotionally to blame a kid than the person against whom you should rightfully be angry.

And no, I am not an affair baby.

[quote] I always felt wanted by my father, but it was always detached with my stepmother. I can't say I blame her. When my father died, she made it clear she didn't want anything to do with me.

It's not your fault. What happened to your biological mom, R19 ?

People shouldn't get married if they don't want to deal with the children from previous marriages.

In another thread, I posted that "blended families" were a crock of shit and I got a lot of criticism for it.

My mom got married 2X. I'm the product of the 2nd marriage. My dad legally adopted Mom's kids from 1st husband. My 2 half-siblings are still troubled people despite the adoption. On top of that, when our dad died, they reconnected with their bio dad. Still troubled people.

[quote] Your cousin sounds really weird. To choose an illegitimate half sibling over their own parent sounds very passive aggressive.

Not at all.

It was the parent in question who made it have to be a choice: the cousin wanted everyone there. The wedding was about the cousin and the cousin's spouse, NOT about the cousin's mother. By forcing her daughter to choose, the mother tried to make the wedding all about her.

What R3 said.

"Affair babies" isn't a phrase normal people use, OP. I've never even heard it before. The fact that you toss it around so casually in this day and age really says a lot about you, none of it flattering.

"Affair Babies" would be a great name for a rock band.

I can't find her R28. I do know her side of the family, and I know my half brother from her. What I know is she lives a near homeless existence, and under the radar. I met her once, when I was 16, and she was clearly on something. She said I looked just like my asshole of a father. Not exactly a heart warming tale. I do speak to, and am accepted by her family, so it's not a total loss.

Thanks for answering, R32. Glad you have a relationship with your bio mom's family.

Children are innocent. That said, family members are not obligated to have a relationship with the child.

Honestly, I thought it was "Affair Barbie", what the hell in the woke era? or maybe some foreign affair politicians modelled after Hillary Clinton...

W&W, r13.

Ar— archaic?

Affair Baby?

The correct term is "Whore's Spawn"

[quote]"Affair babies" isn't a phrase normal people use, OP.

"Affair baby" is a very common phrase. It's all over reddit and most message boards.

Reddit is a toilet for fools and foreigners.

R40 Fools yes. But reddit is about as suburban middle American as it gets.

It's not the child's fault. I never understand blaming the other person in the affair or the child of an affair, especially not the child. There is only one person to blame in a cheating situation.

And are we still doing this whole legitimate/illegitimate thing? Do people even care any more?

I get the impression the uncle and aunt are still married and the uncle’s bonus child was never acknowledged. So I think the daughter getting married handled things extremely poorly. I can understand wanting a relationship and, obviously, the half sibling is not at fault in any way whatsoever. But neither is the aunt, as far as we know. It would be lovely if the aunt had the grit to say, “Yep, that happened and we worked though it and I am going to welcome this blameless person into our family because she obviously belongs here.” But that’s not realistic and the aunt probably had to work through a lot of pain. Maybe the marrying daughter should spend a little time thinking about what her mom might have gone through to keep her family intact instead of trying to prove something.

I admire your cousin. Obviously she bonded with her sister and did not want to deny her existence.

Your husband put his penis into another woman’s hoo-hoo…over and over and over

R30 I don't think "affair baby" is that common either, and it was only added to the Urban Dictionary two months ago. It doesn't even have any votes yet.

People in my family are really good about using birth control.

[quote]"Affair baby" is a very common phrase.

No one of intelligence uses this phrase.

OP is clearly working very hard to make "Affair baby" happen.

This term is very trash.

Also fake and gay.

R19, my story is similar. My mom had an affair with a married man (she said that they were separated but he had several children with the wife after me). She was also casually dating another single man. She wanted to have an abortion, and the single man told her that he would raise the baby as his own even if he wasn’t sure about paternity (she thought that either of them could be the father). They married and had two more kids together. I did a 23 and me dna test in my early 40’s and found all of this out, The ‘single man’ raised me, and paid child support for 8 years of my life. Even with the nasty divorce, he never said a word about paternity to me. I reached out to a half sister, who is only 8 months older than me, but got no response. I completely understand. My biological father passed away 15 years ago. I have decided to just let it go. Those people aren’t my family, even if we are biologically related.

I've heard "side kid" and "outside kid"

She didn't decide that she is her sister. She is her sister. Also, is her last name Snow or Sand?

I have heard "child from another relationship," "illegitimate" and "bastard," but the last two were from bigots over 80 years old.

Absolutely no one says "affair babies."

Is OP the same poster who put this thread up about the "affair child" in August 2021? .. Sounds like the same "wedding invite" scenario.

Another thread where the term "affair baby" appeared within.

R43, my aunt divorced my uncle. She was totally devastated. She can accept my cousin having a relationship with her father, but the affair baby is a step too far.

[quote]Children are innocent.

Again, the affair baby is the physical manifestation of betrayal. She literally never should have been born. The daughter is throwing her father's affair in my aunt's face by associating with this girl, to say nothing of inviting her to the wedding to sit with the family like she belongs there.

R55, yes that's my thread. I forgot that I posted about this before. My cousin continues to associate with this girl and tries to bring her around. My aunt's mental health has declined in recent years and my cousin loves poking the bear. I believe my aunt has made some threats against this girl if my cousin doesn't back off.

Are you polish?

R56, the “affair baby” was an innocent person who did not ask to be born. She should not have to wear a Scarlett because of her parents. Your cousin is brave to understand this. BTW she is not “like” family; she is family.

[quote]Are you polish?

Yes. Furniture.

Illegitimates are supposed to have last names like Fitzsimmons, and be unimpeachably discreet and dignified during their lives.

Their reward for behaving is generally marriage to a minor aristo / member of the gentry, or some such.

She is NOT family. She is nothing.

I don't think we're talking about cousins. This seems way more personal than cousins to OP.

Guys, stop feeding the troll. OP is a troll. Stop talking to it.

Usually it's only 1987 on Datalounge.

Today it seems to be 1887

Another completely lame thread.

Are you talkin to me?

[quote]Illegitimates are supposed to have last names like Fitzsimmons

The Fitz prefix does not indicate illegitimacy. It's Norman for "son of" the same as other patronyms. "Fitzroy" is the only surname that indicated illigitamcy and it was for the non-royal offspring of monarchs. It literally means "son of the monarch."

I called them "love children" and I even sang a song about it with my background singers.

A few years later, Berry Gordy helped me create my very own love child, whom I named Rhonda.

A person's existence, brought about by a person's out-of-marriage sexual activities is not a "slap in the face" of a spouse.

Of course relative trashiness equalizes such "illegitimate" and "legitimate" questions. A wife who declares she's not attending a wedding because of her husband's offspring is about the same as a man who seems to have stepped back from taking appropriate responsibility.

The wife simply needed to make a public show of welcoming her to eliminate the fun for others and then to have enjoyed her daughter's wedding. After all, she is shunning her husband's daughter, which is appalling.

And using "affair baby" shows the OP to be a cunt.

Blood is overrated. I have half siblings i don't acknowledge. I'll nod back if they say hello. The fewer relatives the better.

Your aunt's feelings are more important than some random child your uncle had. You have a shared history with her, not with the AB.

Your cousin is a shit stirrer who has other issues with her parents she is acting out.

[quote] the aunt probably had to work through a lot of pain. Maybe the marrying daughter should spend a little time thinking about what her mom might have gone through to keep her family intact instead of trying to prove something.

As opposed to the pain her half-sister went through by not belonging to her father's family? Why should the mother's pain be necessarily more important than hers?

The mother's feelings of being hurt by her husband's betrayal 18+ years ago should have nothing to do with her daughters' wedding.

I think the aunt could have worked through her pain when she divorced the uncle who cheated on her. She has no right to dictate which relations her children associate with.

[quote] As opposed to the pain her half-sister went through by not belonging to her father's family?

That's something that she and her father need to work out together. It is not right to dump it on OP s aunt.

It wasn't her affair then and it should not be her affair now.

If she took him back, then everything else goes out the window. She forfeited her right to be upset about anything when she allowed him back into her life and into her bed. End of story.

"Affair babies"?

Did you grow up on the set of the Jerry Springer show?

Building a relationship with the half-sibling is the right thing to do.

Inviting the half-sibling to a family event full of the mother’s side of the family is not the right thing to do.

Eloping for a courthouse wedding and saving yourself a table-flipping family feud wedding is the right thing to do.

If the aunt divorced her husband at the time of the affair, then I’m less on her side. Because it’s not like the half sibling is going to be a shock to all the guests and the focus of gossip and attention. Everybody already knows the uncle cheated ages ago. I’m assuming it’s been at least 20 years. The uncle was going to be allowed to go, right? So seems odd to include him, but exclude the blameless innocent party. And if you get really petty, the half sibling is more blameless than the aunt, because the aunt chose to marry the guy who eventually not only cheated, but was so cavalier about his family’s well-being that he didn’t bother with reliable birth control. Personally, I find that more inexcusable that the cheating, but I realize most people wouldn’t see it that way.

- R43

-R43

The wedding is for a daughter who is a product of the uncle and aunts union. Both have a right to veto of they are going to be involved.

The daughter did the wrong thing by inviting the half sister against her mother's will, but did the right thing by going the courthouse route.

R57 it's not about affection for the half sibling then. Nobody likes their fathers illegitimate child that much. Sounds like she really hates her mother and wants to punish her.

Not entirely so, r68.

“In some cases, it is the title of the father that would form part of a 'fitz' patronymic form. This is seen, for example, with Otuer fitz Count, illegitimate son of Hugh d'Avranches, Earl of Chester (the continental title 'count' being the equivalent of the English 'earl'), while several illegitimate children of the Norman and early Angevin kings were called 'fitz Roy', "son of the king" in Anglo-Norman French, examples being Henry fitz Roy, son of Henry I, and Richard fitz Roy, son of king John.

In some circumstances, it was instead the mother who was memorialized in a 'fitz' name form, making it a matronymic. This is seen with the name of a noteworthy mother, as with William fitz Empress, Robert fitz Wimarc, and Robert fitz Pernell, a byname of Robert de Beaumont, 4th Earl of Leicester, or to distinguish like-named brothers with different mothers, such as Robert fitz Edith, born to Henry I's mistress Edith and distinct from another of the king's bastards born to a different mother, Robert, 1st Earl of Gloucester.”

Ugh. I have a HORRIBLE, Trump loving half-brother from an affair my dad had before he and my mom married. Being open to a relationship w him was a huge mistake. He’s an angry man. He comes by it honestly but he’s only hurting himself. No longer have anything to do w him really. It’s better this way n

“Foreigners”, R40? You know that you are a “foreigner” in every country on Earth apart from the USA, right?

Of course you don’t, you dimwit.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Is this an Ivanka - Tiffany thing?

Straight people problems. Yawn.

OP left out a lot information here, now we know his uncle and aunt divorced 20 years ago, but a lot questions still linger,

Was your uncle in your cousin's life after the divorce?

Did your uncle marry the other woman?

The relationship between your uncle and the other daughter/family

The relationship between your cousin and her half sister (socialize together, holiday gathering etc...)

The answers to those questions are actually very important for us to figure out the dynamics/relationships among your uncle, your cousin and her half sister.

The bride wants her sister there and the aunt can shove it.

I feel about them the same way I feel about other babies. They didn’t ask to be brought into the world the way they were and they shouldn’t be the ones paying the price of what their shitbag parents did.

R88 if the cousin lived with her dad, not her mom, then yes I tend to agree, she should be able to choose her wedding guests even though it might upset her mom.

Ahnold's son Patrick and "Affair Baby" Joseph spotted last year.

Can I ask you a personal question, OP? Is the daughter mulatto?

The divorce was over 20 years ago, but my aunt was mentally and emotionally destroyed. She has never gotten over it. My uncle remarried later, but not the affair baby’s mother. He was in her life to some degree, but AB did not grow up with my cousin, nor did they know each other well until they were teenagers.

My aunt tolerates my uncle’s presence when she is forced to be in the same room with him, but avoids him and his new wife if she can.

My aunt is not well mentally and my cousin is poking a bear by doing this. I’ve heard that my aunt has made some threats against AB if she’s put in the position of seeing her. Aunt had a nuclear meltdown at the time of the affair/divorce which culminated in property damage and a stay in a psych unit. So she is capable of violence.

If AB gets hurt, my cousin will be to blame.

OP needs to learn what the fuck personal responsibility is. People are responsible for their own fucking actions. What a fucked up group of people, blaming everyone except the responsible party.

I just call them little bastards.

The Bastard, 1979 mini-series starring hottie Andrew Stevens (ex of DL fave Kate Jackson!).

It's not their fault and they don't deserve to be excluded. Their parents fucked up and deserve 100% of the wrath.

By all means, cuss out the adults responsible. Like these two women going in on auntie.

The child is at the very least a half siblings/ half sister and innocent in this. I’m with the niece.

The child is innocent, your aunt needs to cope with the fact of the affair and get the fuck over it.

Affair baby is not a thing.

Sounds like a soap opera. But wise up. You never know when someone in the family might need a kidney, partial liver, or some bone marrow and that bastard child will be the only match!

Gretchen, stop trying to make "affair baby" happen. it's not going to happen!

The mother should have gone, but then cursed the happy couple at the reception, like Elizabeth Taylor on "General Hospital."

OP, you're placing blame on an innocent person. Affair baby didn't cheat or seduce a married man, so why direct any animosity toward them? I sympathize with their situation and think it's probably been hard wearing that big letter A around their neck all their life. Show some understanding and kindness.

Your aunt would be responsible for her own actions against the half-sibling. I don’t understand why you would remove all accountability just because she struggles with mental issues and has made a warning. If she can’t regulate her emotions then she should exclude herself from any gathering at risk of her outbreaks. I have no opinion on the wedding except that, if the mother was paying she can make that demand on the guest list. If she wasn’t, then accommodations should have been made to keep the half-sibling separate, and that’s probably where the issue resides. The bride can continue to blend her half-sibling into family events, but that means including her in the bride’s events, not inviting the half-sibling to other people’s events, and her mother an refuse to attend. A separation is always going to exist if the cheated on spouse doesn’t welcome the resulting spawn. This is difficult, but not impossible if people stop trying to be absolutist in having their way.

R93 sorry but your aunt sounds like a very difficult person in life, probably your cousin is fed up with her too.

The bride sounds like a shit stirring drama queen.

See, now r96 is a quality post.

OP/R57/R93,

So, your friend posted about this on 16 August 2021.

Then, you posted on it 17 Aug 2021. But, I cannot see the OP there. Is this thread here started by a sock-puppet account?

I do not care about OPs story, but the stories of some of the other posters are interesting. Does r51 still have a relationship with "single man"? Did "single man" ever find out he wasn't your bio dad? Seems like "single man" was a decent guy. I'm surprised men and women often have such a hard time with "illegitimate" children or kids from previous relationships. Why is it so hard to just love these kids? You've been raising a child for years and when the bio dad dies you just tell the child you never want to see him again?

I hate Tom Brady, but I admired the way he handled the situation with his oldest son. He found out his ex girlfriend was pregnant after he had already started dating Giselle Bundchen, but he had nothing but love for his "illegitimate" son. Made sure he could see his son regularly and that he was part of his new family. He was even there when he was born. He could have just walked away from a messy situation and write a check each month.

This child of the plantation should show some dignity and avoid this occasion.

Op, you are truly a fuckwit of the highest order. Your aunt, a cunt of cunts. The bottom line is, your cousin is correct in wanting a relationship with her sister. That relationship is solely between those two only and has not implication or impact on another because it is only between them. This isnt about your cousin, your other cousins or even you, your uncle had an affair and that affair itself is only between him and his wife, but the baby born out of that is not to blame for anything, including being born, so your family are shit kicks, and you a rabid imbecile.

Actually, I find the baby to be at fault, for reasons that are well known to it.

I don't understand why people are taking OP at face value. He did a thread about this a year ago. He said it was his friend in this situation. And, then, the next day, he started a SECOND thread under a different account and said it was about family. I know it was two different accounts, because the OP for the second thread is on my Ignore List and the first one isn't, and I can see the OP for this as well. He's telling the story like it's something new.

Maybe if you’d stop hanging about his apartment, r113, OP could get some work done and write a new bit.

R46 it might be added by OP

Could a man, even a gay man, type "affair babies"?

No, r116.

I believe one is supposed to send one’s illegitimate children to France to be educated.

I honestly can't picture an actual man or any adult saying "affair baby" with a straight face. It's such infantile phrasing, for when "big words" like "wedlock" or "half-sibling" are out of reach of your limited, child-like vocabulary. Seriously, I can only picture an adult saying it in a mocking, baby-voiced tone.

OP is probably the sparklepony Dollface Troll addicted to cute animal YouTube channels.

My mother got divorced and her kids were old enough to decide to stay with their rich father instead, even though he abused them. He actually abused his whole family, his own siblings, his parents when they got older, he's crazy, but rich. Mom remarried and had me, and the older half siblings have made it clear they wish I was never born. Mom's funeral was fun.

It's still better than my partner who discovered he had two half siblings in his dad's obituary. No one ever told him and when he asked about them, his already tenuous relationship with his half siblings disintegrated completely. They stopped speaking to him, he had no idea when or where his dad's funeral was or where he's buried, and they now pretend (at least on Facebook) that he doesn't exist.

I'd bet anything OP added "affair baby" (and probably other stuff) to the Urban Dictionary in preparation for trying to make "affair babies" happen on DL.

How do you feel about "fur babies"?

Maria Schriver loathes Joseph Baena yet her sons are friendly with him now because he’s a decent guy and their dad adores him. It’s not the kids fault his dad fucked his chunky mom while married to a skeleton. Look we can say what we want about Trump (and he’s a horror of a human) but his kids from Ivana never mistreated their half sister , the FUGGO Tiffany, they don’t refer to her as half nor do they with Barron. The eldest sons are like mutants who came out of the womb too early , underdeveloped and lacking brains and muscles.

What about ass babies? (anal creampies)

If this story is real, the aunt is a violent and unstable loony that would have ruined the daughter's wedding even without the presence of the half-sibling.

Wise to forgo the whole thing.

He obviously had an affair for a reason.

This is the kind of family drama I hate.

The "affair baby" did nothing wrong. Your cousin whose wedding it actually was had obviously bonded enough with her over the years to want her at the wedding. EVERYBODY else, including you and aunt, should have quit being cunts and let the bride have her wish without drama.

The nuclear family and its outmoded focus on hereditary inheritance is an invention of industrial capitalism intended to enforce the patriarchy. Nobody cares whether the state has sanctioned your romantic relationship or any offspring resulting from it.

The daughter is a cunt. Let her pay for her own cunting wedding.

Your Aunt should forget she has such an ungrateful daughter. The daughter will also be guaranteed to cause lots of family trouble in the future

OP, you seem to be poking the bear yourself.

Every family should have one.

In fact, study genealogy and at some point you may very well discover that you have a direct ancestor who was one!

Daughter sounds like a drama seeking cunt. She should remain close to her dad and half sibling and see how well that works out.

Until it happens in your family, it’s hard to understand the dynamics. The kids tend to side with their mother, and see it as a betrayal to their mother if they were to have a relationship with the kid. (Front row spectator on this.)

Some women will intentionally get pregnant to try to get the guy to marry them. Seen that. Rarely works, and when it does, the marriage rarely lasts very long, and the father tends not to be in the kid’s life.

Another thing I’ve seen is sperm donors’ offspring. The donor usually gave before he married. A kid now shows up, and the wife doesn’t want the husband to have anything to do with the child.

As in the episode of Paternity Court — what a shit show — the full siblings usually attack the mistress, holding her at fault, while giving their POS father a pass. Yes, the offspring isn’t to blame, but it is a reminder of the father’s betrayal to the mother…very hard to separate. FDR’s daughter used to help set up her father’s affairs with his mistresses. Hurt Eleanor greatly when she found out.

trash problems, idc.

THIS is why we need to keep abortion legal.

I feel very sorry for them. It’s not their fault both of their parents are shitty selfish assholes.

Came back to thread just to laugh again at affair babies. Trashiest, funniest shit I've heard in a long time.

I know of a straight couple, married over 20 years, have two teenage boys and a few years ago the wife discovered the husband had a secret second family, two daughters with a much younger woman. The husband was a stay at home dad (and occasionally worked in a creative capacity but it was inconsistent). She is an MD. She had to pay him alimony and child support. She was able to get the court to order a bi-weekly accounting statement on how the child support is allocated because he was using it to pay child support for his affair babies. Their boys want nothing to do with their much younger half sisters and resent their existence.

These str8 men sound addicted to the drama. Why would anyone want two families? That sounds like one of the rings of hell.

Even one sounds like a life sentence.

R139 she should have sued him since he was obviously using her income during the marriage, to support his secret family.

The picture below shows how affair babies are produced most of the time. It demonstrates that men are too gullible and abortion rights aren't used properly. We need to change that. Please warn your fellow men not to trust women. When they ask why, you answer with: "it is what it is".

Did they drink out of the same cup, r142?

"Affair babies" are produced when people have affairs, it's not complicated MRA troll at R142.

[quote] Their boys want nothing to do with their much younger half sisters and resent their existence.

What’s your point, R139? You’re just reinforcing OP’s willfully selfish perspective. Children borne out of an extramarital relation are not the problem, but the people who see them as junk humans are. Family members possessed with this puritanical, faux moral outrage are at the root of almost all the turmoil in these situations.

If these boys are bitter and hostile towards their half-siblings, that’s entirely on them and no one else.

R145 so what are people supposed to do? Are you suggesting that people should just forgive and forget in these situations? Human emotions don't work that way. When people commit an act so egregious it becomes impossible to forgive. What is so puritanical about not wanting to be in contact with your cheating father's secret family?

R144 Sorry for expecting women not to behave like retards. How about not birthing children by men who won't be interested in them? As if the world needs more bastards. And as I said, it would be nice if feminists trolls like you would tell the men in their lives not to trust women but what you usually do is to say that they "should have kept it in their pants" when it is too late. You could say the you even secretly enjoy it when you see all these bastards born because it promotes the notion that fathers aren't needed except for their sperm. So be it, I'm no traditionalist but how about going to a sperm bank instead of using unsuspecting men? I just wish women had more integrity because I wouldn't behave so filthy.

[quote]How do you feel about affair babies?

Depends on how they're cooked.

R148 is he talking about you?

R147 taking a look at your posting history, you're not just an MRA troll, you're a Qanon-every-celebrity-woman-is-a-tranny psycho. Go back to 4chan, you freak.

R150 Sorry but just because you don't like that I call out immoral behavior doesn't mean you can decide where I should go. I will stay here and on 4chan because I like to be informed about recent events. If you wanna avoid certain topics or opinions feel free to block me or go somehwere else. For I will stay and pray to Jesus.

[quote] And as I said, it would be nice if feminists trolls like you would tell the men in their lives not to trust women

A man cheats on his wife but it's women who can't be trusted 😂. You're so dim witted it's comical.

Well, look how Jon Snow was treated by Catelyn and that wasn't even Ned's kid.

R146, These children obviously had no say in their entry into this world, and they are absolutely not at fault and are not the problem. They are in no way members of a “cheating family”, as you put it, because there’s no such thing. The culprits are the two people having the illicit affair, not the children being born as a result of it.

If you see people borne of an affair outside of a marriage as inherently bad, that’s on you, not them. It’s understandable that you can’t forgive the cheaters, but seeing their children as among the perpetrators is wrong.

R151 immoral behavior is a man cheating on his wife. In your pea brain, you somehow equate that to women being untrustworthy which is typical of MRA retards. They have low IQs and big mouths.

One of my uncles had an affair baby—it was a mess of epic proportions! He had two families for years until his wife found out.

I know a few people who discovered they had half siblings—a mess of epic proportions!

My advice is: do not have affair babies.

R152 How is that dim-witted? Yes, the man cheats but does that mean he deserves an out of wedlock child? Does that mean a woman should lie about birth control? A man who cheats often includes an immoral woman who knows about his relationship status. So when you argue that way it appears to me that you think that women are brainless cripples with no mind of their own. I merely suggest to them that maybe an affair fetus should equal an abortion.

But as I mentioned in my reply before, it appears to me that feminists, (and) people like you actually love it that men get punished that way because it produces another household without a man in the picture. That's why I also suggested to men to be less gullible but if no one tells men that except for me I am not suprised that affair babies still exist.

I just saw R155 reply to me and I the same goes to you. Your responses to me demonstrate one thing: You don't even want to solve the issue and you appear to be in support of bastards. But when I look at the statistics of single mothers and how many criminals they produce, it would be wiser to abort out-of-wedlock, fatherless children. I just simply look out for my own safety.

A man cheating is immoral, I agree but birthing his bastard is suddenly the moral choice here? Am I arguing with conservatives on this site?

R154 you still aren't acknowledging the fact that these kids are the result of their dad's affair. They weren't raised with these siblings, and they didn't know about them for years. But because they share DNA, they're supposed to make time in their lives for these people? Most people barely have time to spend with family they were raised with

Love Child. Love Child.

R157 you have no fucking clue if she lied about birth control. You have no fucking clue if she knew he was married. You just want to assume it because it fits your misogynistic theory. The only thing you know for certain is that a man cheated on his wife. And if you don't want an out of wedlock child or "bastard" as you so morally call them, then don't have sex outside your marriage. You could lecture men about that, but then they would have to be responsible for their actions. You wouldn't want that.

And your straw man argument about single women with out of wedlock children is just that- a straw man. We're not talking about children born outside of A marriage, we're specifically speaking about children born from a married man who cheated. Nice try.

[quote] Yes, the man cheats but does that mean he deserves an out of wedlock child?

He deserves any consequences that result (outside of violence). Quit pretending like a man who cheats on his wife is a victim. He's not a victim, he's a perpetrator. He's the cause of the consequences and the drama. You can't seem to get that through your thick head.... Why don't you go back to arguing that celebrity women are secretly trannies?

R158 The children from the legitimate marriage have no obligation to accept those half-siblings that they were never aware into their current lives, but isn’t that beside the point?

My initial reply to your post was to point out the falsehood of your underlying message that children born out-of-wedlock are an inextricable part of a larger, wicked picture and that they are by default, essentially an extension of the same thing.

My argument was never that the children must bring the prior unknown half-siblings into their world, but neither should they see them as integrally part of something morally wrong, either. The children you mention have become judge and jury over two innocents when their outrage should be directed at their father and the “other” woman.

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!

- Outraged frauen on this thread

R160 You still continue to argue like a conservative. It is not misogynistic to call out women who act retarted. Birthing a child from an affair is retarded.

Your argument: If you don't want an out-of-wedlock child, don't have sex. A conservative to a woman who seeks an abortion: If you don't want a child, don't have sex.

Apart from that, I've already suggested through the picture I attached at R142 and my own words, that men in our lives should be warned about that. That women who claim they are on the birth control pill are not trustworthy. Why does no one say that this is misandrist, me suggesting that men are gullible beings? This notion is accepted without anyone becoming offended.

R161 "he deserves the consequences" is the same argument a conservative would say to a woman who seeks an abortion. So if a married woman cheats with a single man, she should keep the bastard child against her will too?

But again, you two prove my point. Feminism = conservative values for men but freedom for women. And you are still surprised why I would call that way of thinking out? I'm just not a hypocrite. I don't have out of wedlock children and I just wanna share methods on how to achieve that which as I said is 1. Women should stop being illogical and 2. Men should assume that women are party poopers by default.

Me receving so much oppostion shows that you don't want men to reach my message. Your arguments against me really show that you like to see oopsie babies being born. Illogical as I said.

R164 nothing you say is logical. I knew it sounds logical in your head, it doesn't make it so in reality. You say men should be warned about the evils of women. Yeah nothing conservative about that (snort). You don't lecture men about being faithful because that would make it men's responsibility. You put the blame on women. You say a woman shouldn't have an affair with a married man, as if it's someone else's job to uphold a married man's vows. Nothing conservative about that (snort). Everything you suggest is straight out of the fucking bible.

[quote] Your argument: If you don't want an out-of-wedlock child, don't have sex

Um no, retard. If you don't want an "affair baby" don't have sex outside your marriage. Even the stupidest person understands this, yet it keeps going over your head...I wonder why that is? (Hint:you have a low IQ).

Typical MRA, Qanon loon. Stupid, yet thinks he's the smartest in the room.

Women are party poopers, though.

I mean, you have to at least concede that point.

Don’t do a DNA test, as more than 25% of them lead to unexpected surprises, that lead to trauma for many. There are support groups for these emotionally wounded people.

Well

R165 Why is it conservative to warn men about the facts I posted at R142? If that were the case, conservative men wouldn't fall for the trap of the "affair baby" but they usually do. It shows that men, regardless of their lifestyle are all gullible fools when it comes to women. Only mra and mgtow men know what's going on and that's why I love them. Incels are braindead btw because all they care about is women, they are like lesbians who are pissed that they can't get straight women. But anyway... Should feminists stop warning women about the evils of men because it is conservative according to you? That's why I don't like feminists because you apply your advice and support only to women but men shouldn't reveice the same support. Odd for a movement that claims to fight for equality. And yes of course I blame the woman because it is the woman who can decide about life and death, thanks to abortion. I support abortion and therefore I expect the right to an abortion to be used properly. But apparently women don't do that and my conclusion for that is it to warn men about that. But when I say we should warn men, women say this is misogynistic.

And regarding your argument of married men who shouldn't have sex outside their marriage. Please just admit that you are pro-sexual freedom for women but anti-sex for men. Because I am damn sure you wouldn't say the same stuff to a married woman who cheated and got pregnant.

R169 what about what about what about

R170 Are you the affair fetus that is about to be aborted?

Don't you have a "transvestigation" YouTube video you should be creating and disseminating? Your fellow retards need you

R172 Yes, please excuse me. It is actually important work to find the secret transgenders! Do you wanna join?

That’s funny!

I am an affair baby, I was fine with it; my non DNA dad was not fine with it

Lots of abuse, foster care at 11 yrs(bad things happen-burnings, whippings sexual abuse)

I forgave my mom(finally), non DNA dad( we met the night he died at MCP Hospital in East Falls(philly) we had a nice chat, then he died(oh well, no tears) I've said that story on DL(much cleaned up version).

I spoke once to my half older brother& sisters; it did not end well (oh sadness-don't care)

If I told the full story, it had everything including the wolves nipping at my feet. I formed my new family& friends, never looked back

"That bastard brat of a Scottish peddler!"

I never heard this term before, though did run across "child of shame" in Angela Thirkell novels.

My mother's friend's son got his side piece preggers. The wife divorced him, but is not bitter about it years later. He paid faithful child support, with his son being considered a family member.

[quote] Op, you are truly a fuckwit of the highest order. Your aunt, a cunt of cunts.

"Devoted sister, beloved cunt."

"Bastard" is of course the accurate and actual--and thus preferred--term, rather than the cringeworthy "affair baby" (which is sickeningly euphemistic).

Bastid!

If I were your aunt I would simply refuse to acknowledge the affair baby's existence at the wedding and press my kerchief daintily to my nostril every time she passed by me at the reception. Ugh, peasants!!!

I prefer this term to affair baby ...

So-ci-e-teeeeee!

R181 is the way. No muss, no fuss.

The cut direct.

Hugs to you, R175 xo

I'm not too fond of them.

I have an affair baby and he’s adorable!

Auntie didn't think it through. She should have insisted on the big huge wedding, and introduced the girl as The Affair Baby to everybody. In fact, she should have brought an Affair Baby sash and made the girl wear it.

My co-worker’s father had an affair baby with her Aunt. He ended up leaving her mother for her sister but favored her until her Aunt told him to choose. She’s had major daddy issues ever since.

To me it is best to take the Victoria Barkley approach, the child had nothing to do with the betrayal and is innocent. It is the parents who shoulder all the blame and to whom one can feel anger.

The kids are people and don’t deserve to be treated poorly because they were created in an affair.

The obvious answer is to leave them in the Black Forest in winter to die from exposure. It’s the kindest way.

This can work for any age, so you have some travel flexibility.

My dad had a whole affair family. It’s weird because they were treated as legitimate by his family because they never liked my mom. So good for the kids they didn’t live their lives as somebody’s dirty secret. My mom found out and my parents divorced and my dad married the mother of his children.

So sick of the affair baby apologists.

They are NOT innocent. Cousin’s illegitimate “sister” should’ve been aborted. If she had any shame, she would’ve killed herself a long time ago. Instead, she’s parading around town with my aunt’s legitimate daughter. If my aunt does something to her, it’ll be her own fault.

There’s a lot of white trash on this thread.

Don't most marriages end in divorce? So one cheated on the other? Shit happens. Affair baby is your blood relative, and you should treat them as family.

Treat them as family? Okay, so treat them like crap

r195 There's a lot of white trash on DL, in general.

Whatever happened to those Quadroon Balls?

That seemed like a good system, at least as far as illegitimates. Win-win solutia, if you ask me.

I don’t know nothin’ about affairs with no babies!