Crushing

So, the poll didn't add to the post because I didn't include the question part. Should I start another thread?

Of course it is normal. Being sexually attracted to other people is healthy. I will never stop flirting with men I find appealing.

the bee's knees

Using this phrase indicates that you are over 70, so flirt away, just don't embarrass yourself by flirting with anyone under 60. You will be mocked.

Present hole!

Best to crush on unattainable celebs like Shawn Mendes.

I do, R5! But I want something closer to real life.

If I told you my real age, you wouldn't believe me, R3. I have always been told that I speak an old person.

Sad - because it just happened to me. 54 and a totally gorgeous smart 34 year old hit on me. Had a great night of conversation and sex and am now obsessing. I know it’s totally stupid and need to move on - but the brain went into overdrive. Just when you think you’re over that stuff, you become a silly old man. The mind doesn’t always win.

Happily married and monogamous.

I have a tried and true saying, “Don’t put your penis where it don’t belong”. The other saying for those that are already married is, “You gotta respect the ring”.

Whether it’s the guy you’re crushing on wearing it, or your own… who else will respect it, if not you?

I found my past open relationship was like a pair of undewear. The band between us stretched out too much for either of us to keep wearing it. If you can make it work, hooray for you!

It’s perfectly normal to “crush” on someone, but acting on it is different. If a guy cruising looks back at me, I stop at the second glimpse, never a third and turn, appearing disinterested. There’s an endorphin rush of validation, but it’s so easy to ruin what hard work is put into an exclusive relationship. Crushing is like kindling a spark turn into a flame.

Don’t encourage it unless you want your relationship to go up in flames. I’ve seen it happen too many times to ignore.

Thank you, R8, really and truly! I was going to call it sage advice, even before I saw your name.

(In my case, though, the first saying would go, "Don’t put your bussy where it don’t belong”.)

I’m going to add one more thing that both monogamous and open relationship folks would recognize-

There’s a current of energy that connects two people committed to each other. Whether you meet him at 9 or 90, it’s an attraction that runs clean and pure, and unadulterated. If you find the right man, you are genuinely interested in spending time together and making things work smoothly. There will be bumps, learning moments, and struggle, but if both parties respect the connection, it will hold lovely.

However, if you cheat- it’s like mixing a pound of spoiled hamburger to three pounds of fresh, grilling it up and hoping for the best. If the relationship doesn’t end, you have forever changed it into something else that is dramatically different than what you started with. ]

The real question is that what you want and is is worth cheating for?

Thank you, R10/ElderSage. Food for thought.

I developed a crush on a guy I'd befriended a couple of years ago at 50. I think it had been almost a decade since I was interested in dating someone. Kind of surprised me that I could still be giddy about someone like that, to be honest. If you're already in a relationship though, I'd say mercilessly stamp out those feelings and let it pass.

R7 I currently find myself in a similar situation. I’m also 54, but he’s much younger and a few years into marriage to a man he claims is no longer interested in sex due to health issues and medication. He’s nice looking, intelligent and ambitious. I’m going to enjoy it as long as it lasts, knowing there’s not a long term future here as he will still be relatively young when I’m an old man.

I don’t feel guilty. No healthy, attractive young gay male is going to be sexless nor should be expected to. But I am surprised to find myself “crushing” on this young man because in my younger days I had several fuck buddies that I never had any feelings for other than lust, I’ve never been a “ daddy” before, but I’ll be this young mans daddy. I’m lucky to have him in my life.

Totally normal, OP

Great posts r8/r10

Enjoy it for what it is (fully) and don't mistake it for anything else.

It's OK, Miss OP, but don't let your crush reach the twenty-three-skidoo level.

It’s abnormal

An odd time - the young are in a sex mania after being denied for 2 years. Us olds are getting some of the overflow sex.. No complaints - but I’m assuming the younguns move on and seek long term stability with similarly aged guys after the sex - a - palooza of 2022/23.

Yes, r18! I have been swimming in young ass. It sucks because I started to catch feelings with a guy 17 years younger. I know it’s just a stage he is going through and he will snap out of it.

No more stories of crushes? It really does make life more interesting. I love my partner, but life is really short to not fuck around a little.