Michelle Branch Arrested for Beating Up her Ex-Husband Patrick Carney

Damn. Didn’t Jack White beat him up too?

He’s so ugly. He probably looks better after she beat him up.

She slapped him once or twice, which still counts as assault but is hardly "beating him up."

I'd beat him up too. Might take that smirk off his face.

I hate that song “a thousand miles”.

Maybe this is old fashioned, but someone who cheats on their partner (man or woman) should expect to take a couple slaps in the face without calling the police. Have some shame!

Never heard of either of them, I’m glad to say

R5, that's Vanessa Carlton's song.

Is the frying pan being dusted?

Sad!

cunt

They have six month old baby girl. She found he cheated on her while she was at home with the baby. She slapped him. He sounds like a douchelord MFer, cheating on his wife and then calling the cops on her for a slap. Good riddance to Long Chin

To add though, this was apparently his third marriage and he is 42 years old. Red flags galore

Is it on tape? Were there witnesses? I don't get it.

She said it in a deleted tweet ^

If you read early interviews with the Black Keys, it’s obvious they are two fratty douchebags who got lucky and rode to fame by being a lesser, derivative version of the White Stripes.

He's cheated on every woman he's had a LT relationship with. Apparently, he doesn't end a relationship until he's already in a new one, or working on a new one.

I still feel sorry for Hedlund

R11 uuuum she could have aborted instead of becoming a violent cunt?

What a whiny lil bitch. He should be grateful anyone should give him the to me if day looking as he does.

Maybe she slapped him because he’s so ugly and his ugliness was getting on her nerves.

What a pussy man. I feel bad for her. She’s talented. But she’s also been unlucky in love so maybe there’s some crazy in her.

Sounds like serial cheater doesn't want to pay alimony (again). Team Michelle.

Looks like it's been going on for a while.

As we speak hordes are lining up to smacks the lil bitch.

He's no longer everywhere to her.

Great and the child carries on his cheater genes. The world becomes worse and worse.

The first slap was for the cheating. The second slap was for his awful music.

Why the long face, Patrick?

He really is ugly

The arresting cops probably thought she beat him with the ugly slap stick.

She is a cruel woman, procreating with that hideous man and passing on those genes to her poor child.

R11 🎵 it’s all in the game of love 🎵

All she wanted was somebody to slap.

She's paranormal - she bent his face.

This guy is douche of the year. He cheats on his breastfeeding wife - and then calls the cops because she bitch slapped him? what a tosser.

R35 But she chose to get pregnant by an ugly guy who was apparently known as a cheater. No need to slap someone else for your own stupid decisions. I'd have chosen another man for my offspring.

You write that Grammy winning break up ballad, Michelle! Goodbye To You, Part Two!

My ex cheated on me. I left. No need to become violent.

[quote]Smh WHET her? She fell off.

You’d fall off too if you were fucking someone that ugly and then he cheated on you.

To be fair, he does have a punchable looking face.

Honestly fuck her for having a kid with that ugly man. Deserves whatever she gets.

e21 talent?

nepotized and manufactured, aggressively pushed on a public that spoke up time and time again, no matter what celeb or famous musician they paired her with... the greater public didn't want her.

Her songs were good but basic and so was her voice. Inferior to Avril Lavigne's even. Kind of boring. Such people shouldn't be allowed to be in the news when all they can offer is being a basic beotch.

She’s a much better vocalist than Avril and an actual artist. Unlike Avril who can’t sing live.

Michelle Branch is a musician and a songwriter. Avril was a shrieky singer. No comparison.

Sorry but Avril can sing high notes. Michelle can only sing in basic talking range. That's what it sounds like at least on the record. Not bad but not good either.

why do people - fags especially - pit women against each other? You don't see people pitting Mic against Rod, etc.

The two broads are nothing alike. It's like comparing Beyonce to Madonna. No comparison.

R47 It is a duty of fags to keep women active so that they don't become fat.

R46 barely. She sounds terrible live.

Good that Michelle sings within her range…

Musicians age as well as crème fraîche.

Daddy issues.

R51, him or her?

Her first husband is not bad looking. Why did she trade down to this guy?

He’s hideous so good riddance. I hope she gets plenty of child support and trades up to a better man. The bar is low.

Awww…she has a music video coming out with Tracey Martell!

Well, I hope it’s the same Michelle Branch…

I should have stayed out of this thread now I have a freaking Michelle Branch song stuck in my head.

The husband sounds like a little bitch

I remember her she was that basic girl who did a song with Santana. He’s a douche too

Everywhere, All You Wanted and Goodbye to You were really good songs. Nothing else she did was good.

R53 because looks aren’t everything.

R59 TO YOU. That is called an opinion.

Breathe was her best song, in my opinion

Jesus Christ, Michelle Branch fan r61, go get your fave's abusive ass under control. She could have killed that ugly man. Save the links for after you've gotten her to hand over the gun and knives.

Not a fan of Mich, but I can't be the only one troubled that some creepy hipster man can get his tiny ex-wife hauled in by cops just for slapping him once?

Where's your argument now, MRAs?

R63, she slapped him at least twice, they're still married, and we don't know that he called the cops on her. Someone else in the house could have done so. (My assumption as I think most men aren't running to talk about their wives whooping up on them.)

Branch's music was somewhat ruined for me by 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer', that awful episode where Joss caved to the Buffy/Spike shippers and had them kiss romantically over a montage Branch performing 'Goodbye To You' live in The Bronze.

Season six had its moments, but this was not one of them.

As the French say... "Il a une tête à claques"

I've not thought about her in ages. She has nice eyes and pretty hair.

Is it really domestic violence if a lady who is all of five feet tall slaps their adulterous tall ass husband Bette Davis style a time or two?

r67 Yes, yes, women are victims even if they're doing the violence unless she's a mother doing it to her daughter because you can only relate if the daughter hates her mother, too.

the ex looks like a discount beer goggles version of Hugh Grant. So, I'm assuming junkie until proven otherwise.

He must have a great personality because he is unfortunate looking. Even if he had an giant dick, no!

Ugh! No he doesn't have a great personality.

He has a responsive personality females would like.

They’re both musicians. She is probably attracted to his musicality and he probably was good to her until he wasn’t. They usually are.

I agree with his thoughts on music

Patrick, Thurston Moore called. He wants his grease back.

She tried to slap the ugly off his face but failed.

She did have a few bops.

I loved the album she did as The Wreckers with whatshername Harp. The album was a modest hit and they never did another one, which was strange.

Calling the cops for a slap shows he's preparing for the divorce and custody battle. What a POS.

"Leave the Pieces" by the Wreckers was one of her better songs.

He's like a fugly version of Kevin McHale.

She was only booked because she admitted to doing it. He had no visible injuries on his face.

R71 Let that man-baby hipster bitch try that after I ruin my body to have his offspring. Shoulda been a 2x4 across the face. His type is the worst. Nice leather jacket and hipster glasses past the age of 27.

R80 Kevin Mchale is the “fugly“ version of Kevin Mchale.

We don't know who called the police, r78. It almost sounds like neighbors called because of a disturbance and then she admitted to slapping him. If he called, though, that is a 100% bitch move on his part.

R81 whereas her face is very visibly bruised.

That's a birthmark, r85.

Twitter was 50% "she's got an injury" and 50% "that's just her birthmark" comments at one point yesterday, it was kind of funny.

[Quote] Twitter was 50% "she's got an injury" and 50% "that's just her birthmark" comments at one point yesterday, it was kind of funny.

So typical.

Holy fuck that’s an ugly couple at R16

So given his pattern, will he be marrying Haley McDonald from Full Stop Management?

Not if she has any sense.

R61, no fucking shit it's my opinion; this is a fucking gossip forum, not a repository of facts. Take a xanax!

r90 Well, she was already fucking him, so it's already established she doesn't have much.

Yes. That’s a birthmark. She covers it with makeup

He deserves it for being so ugly.

I agree, r94, but I also want her to be punished for being such a dumb bitch and fucking such an ugly man. People that ugly should not be encouraged let alone bred with.

r84 Yes, men should accept violence direct at them because they're men and not women (bitches)

Why do so many on here support a domestic violence-whore? She chose to birth an ugly guy's child and she knew about his personality. She should have hit herself for being so stupid and not he guy. He wasn't violent towards her and it's good that the cops were called on her because violent people need a reminder that this isn't the way to solve problems.

R97 because a slap for what he (allegedly) did seems justified. It’s not like she smashed his skull in with a 2x4 or beat him with a golf club. I’m sure she regrets doing it (and confessing to the cops) but getting arrested for that is absurd.

This thread did NOT disappoint.

And at least for now, the MRA canards have been kept to a minimum

R99 give it time.

R98 when my ex cheated on my I left him without becoming violent. Branch has too much neanderthal inside of her

Don't you mean Denisovan, r101?

In OP's picture, he does have a punchable face.

Obviously he had a big cock because what else could she want in someone with a face like that. He took it away from her and she lashed out, we have all been there. Are You Happy Now?

R101 is incapable of empathy

R105 I feel for the guy who was hurt on his face

No one believes that a 5'2" woman of 120 lbs slapping a 300-lbs man a foot taller than her is "violence" or "domestic assault."

R107 She has a manly pose and body type

r108 = Johnny Depp

I didn’t realize he was fat too. Isn’t his band mate the talented one anyway?

Mandatory arrest laws targeting (mostly) male perpetrators of domestic violence have backfired on women, unfortunately.

I don't want to sound like a MARY!!!!!! but in in the next 20, 30, 40 years, I feel we're going to take HUGE steps backward regarding women's rights in this country. Roe v. Wade might just be the beginning.

The Wrecker's Leave the Pieces is a fucking great song. She is a good artist.

They were originally called "The Homewreckers" because they'd broken up some marriages.

This is what their kid will look like

I will never forget when she told off her fans on The Wreckers official website message boards back in the good old early 2000s.

"Alright, I don't even know why I am still awake seeing as I have to be up in a few hours to feed Owen.

What I am most frustrated at, I suppose is...I pay money to keep this website up so all of you "fans" can talk about our music. Why would I want to spend the money so the majority of you can sit around and b1tch about us?

I understand that you are frustrated with the fact that there isn't any music for you to listen to. Don't you think Jessica and I are frustrated too?? We finished this record over a year ago and were sent on a lame ass tour we didn't want to be on. It was a horrible idea to headline a show playing music that nobody had ever heard. Maverick wanted to make a quick buck, and unfortunately, we were obligated by contract to do so. I was 5 months pregnant when we started that tour and believe me...it was the last place I wanted to be. Then I got pushed into doing a Santana song I didn't want to do (I didn't write it either, Shanks wanted me to sing it so bad, that was a bargaining tool), Maverick wouldn't let me do it unless Jess was on it so they would get "free" promotion for a record they didn't even understand or believe in for the most part. The record wasn't released because Maverick didn't want me promoting an album pregnant. They thought it would look bad to my young fans...bull.

As far as "biting the hand that feeds you"...

I would give nothing more than to play music in a shitty bar and fold clothes at The Gap for a living. My "being famous" has done nothing but ruin my relationship with my parents, mostly my Father and it has made me hate doing what I used to love more than life itself...playing music. I have been pushed around and now most of you see me as someone who I never really was, and most of you can't accept the plain fact that people change and grow up and I'm not the little girl you think I am. I have a family of my own now, a baby...the last thing I could imagine doing is making music. I'm fine financially (although I don't make millions contrary to popular belief.) and being a famous musician has brought nothing to my life besides strife. (Okay, I met my wonderful husband and bandmate because of it.) I have maybe written two songs in the past year. That's ridiculous. This isn't fun for me anymore. I'm sick of sucking dicks to get my music heard, putting on a fake smile, and saying things that are acceptable.

On the contrary, The Wreckers album makes me very proud and excited again. It's almost like my first day at a new school. It’s a fresh start. I'm finally excited to tour (although I need to find a nanny!) and I am looking forward to seeing what fans think.

You know, I CAN take the criticism. I just don't understand why I should pay for an arena for you to do it. If you are a "fan" why do you speak about Jessica and I in that way?

I never wanted to be put on a pedestal... I just wanted to make music. And believe me, many times I have thought I was going to quit. It's too much energy to pretend it's fun. You can call me a baby if you'd like, but life is too short to spend it being miserable.

This board is going to be shut down tonight. I think we all need a break. When the Wreckers album finally comes out, we'll see the ones who decided to stick around. As for the rest of you, I meant it when I said "f-off"

M"

I hate that song, r32.

I cannot express how much.

Literally 2/3 of the MRA-like posts on this thread are from the pedantic misogynistic incel Dark Gemini.

R115 That post makes me like Michelle especially the part about not wanting to do that shitty Santana song that Madonna forced her to do. I am guessing that post is from early 2006?

R116 Michelle agrees with you.

She's spunky. Her husband sounds like a pure tool

Does that Santana song not put food on the table? What DOES then? Really, how does the bitch eat. Still paid from the 'everywher' hit?

R121 Well Michelle was bitching about the second santana song she was forced to do by her label in 2005.

R121 Michelle had more than one hit.

R123, did she though?

R124 Everywhere, Breathe, Are You Happy Now, You Get Me, You Set Me Free, All You Wanted

I have heard one of those. Please tell me you’re not counting songs on the rock or AC charts? How embarrassing.

R126 whatever you need to tell yourself.

I had forgotten all about her but played a couple of songs on this thread and they were still very recognizable. I’d never heard of The Wreckers but liked that song too. I see she’s filed for divorce so hopefully she can move on and do well for her kids’ sake. She had a likeable energy to her music.

The only “friend” I ever actively cut dead, instead of letting things die out over time, was a straight guy I knew from law school who got married a hot minute after we graduated and immediately had two kids. We practiced in the same city and hung out a lot. I knew his wife only a bit through plus one type events. His second kid had special needs and from the expense and constant medical interventions I assumed they were done having kids.

Several years after the second was born he told me he’d finally convinced his wife to have a third. Apparently her pregnancies had been awful and she didn’t want to get pregnant again, plus the concern another child might also have special needs, but they had two girls and he wanted to try for a boy.

Fast forward and she catches him cheating while she was pregnant. She kicked him out and he fought hard to get immediate overnights with the baby once she (another girl) was born, wife had to fight that because she was breastfeeding, etc. At that point I don’t know why he didn’t just knock up the mistress before the whole ordeal and leave because of that.

Who/what is Dark Gemini, r117?

R128 what a piece of shit.

She hardly "beat him up"

She wrote most if not all of her hits, and the Wreckers album went gold. She would have made some money from the Santana hit, which was huge, but royalties for performing are much, much smaller than for writing and owning the publishing.

She sounds aggressively dumb at r115

The internet was developed for intelligence purposes and to cunt about things endlessly.

There are quite literally zero other reasons for it to exist.

I love her music with the Reckers. They have a song called leave the pieces that i play over and over and her solo album had three really good songs on it.

Maybe she wanted to beat the ugly off him?

I was thinking the same thing..must have a 3 foot cock. Only way I can see him getting Michelle Branch.

She must have been beating him with an ugly stick on the regular.

I wanted to be like you / I wanted everything / So I tried to be like you / And I got swept away / I didn't know that it was so cold and / You needed someone to show you the way / So I took your hand and we figured out that / When the tide comes I'd take you away

If you want to / I can save you / I can take you away from here / So lonely inside / So busy out there / And all you wanted was somebody who cares /

I'm sinking slowly / So hurry hold me / Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on / Please, can you tell me? / So I can finally see / Where you go when you're gone

Ugh...I’d beat him up to

Didn't she take him back?

R140 yep 😔

Branch was one of the few actually talented singer/ song writers of the early 2000s era.

Didn't this hideous creature cheat on her while she was pregnant/nursing an infant?

He is fug as hell. She looks like shit, too. He must be a big dumb lug, to stand there and let her beat him.

Is she part Asian? If so, you know what THAT means!

Good at math?

Taylor Swift happened her to her career.

R147 nope, Michelle pretty much killed her career (or at least its momentum) when she posed topless¹ for the cover of Maxim. I was in jr high, and still remember all the drama/controversy around it. Around the same time, a similar thing happened to Jewel when she released a "sexy" music video for her song Intuition.

It was a different time back then, and guitar-playing, songwriting, "folksy" female musicians were expected to be the antitheses to all the manufactured bubblegum pop tarts that were saturating the market at the time.

Taylor Swift (or rather, her management team) wisely never went down that path.