Do you allow people to change their minds after you’ve been rejected?

Are they a couple, OP?

Yes.

Maybe negotiate a bit harder, but seems like a trivial hill to die on.

Yes, because it may work out in the end. Also, keep your eyes wide open, he might be playing you again.

[quote] but seems like a trivial hill to die on.

It’s about dignity and self-respect. I’ve found that people will do whatever they can get away with, so if you have an opportunity to impose consequences, you have to take it. If people aren’t at least a little afraid of you, if they don’t think you’re kind of a cunt, they’ll walk all over you.

No one knows your particular situation, OP, but I think going with your gut feeling is best. I don't like giving second chances to people who are economically advantaged and entitled. They are usually fickle with their loyalties. Let em eat ....

What is different now than when you made the original offer? It does not sound like anything is different.

I personally have an aversion to letting other people determine my decisions, so if it was good when I made the offer and nothing has changed why not do it? Unless it was a bad idea in the first place and you were foolish to offer.

Either way, you sound like you are dependent on other people and their opinions, so my thinking is probably not helpful.

[quote]If people aren’t at least a little afraid of you, if they don’t think you’re kind of a cunt, they’ll walk all over you.

One of these days these cunts are gonna walk all over you!

OP, are you going to continue to rent from these 2 people? Now that you said no to the offer, does that mean they get to choose your new roommates?

If you agree to be the property manager, at least you'd have some control over who your new roommates would be.

I usually will give someone a second chance. However, I usually find that what turned me off in the first place is still a turn-off.

OP, you are a renter, you don't have any power in this situation. You can be easily replaced. If they accept your offer of being property manager with reduced rent you should take them up on it. You are very unlikely to get a better deal.

Grow the fuck up.

Prepare to be evicted

They are cunts OP, that will not change.

Oh hell no. Once I'm dissed, you are dismissed.

R5 "is about dignity and self respect" not it's not. Really, drill down and this is just about your bruised ego. They injured your ego with their flippant or of hand rejection of you, because clearly they don't need YOUR help. And now look what happened, and they expect you to just be on tap?

I get it, but if you're not lying to yourself you will see its just an injured ego.

Imagine how insufferable OP must be in all areas of life.

It depends if they NEED to sell to pay down debt or cannot afford to keep it. Also, for protection I’d insist on a standard lease in my name, with specified rent and shoulder the responsibility of subletting the other two. Without your name on a lease you are not afforded certain rights as a tenant. If they refused, I wouldn’t stay.

If you are “property manager”, they could still sell it out from underneath you and give you 30 days, or an endless parade of house viewings until they sold it.

NO SECOND CHANCES !!!

[quote] What is different now than when you made the original offer?

Actions must have consequences. They rejected me, now it’s their turn to get rejected. I will not abide being disrespected.

[quote] OP, are you going to continue to rent from these 2 people?

No. When they were going to sell, my plan was to move out. I’m proceeding with that plan.

[quote] Oh hell no. Once I'm dissed, you are dismissed.

Thank you!!

R16, I would’ve insisted on a lease/contract. If I’m being a petty bitch about this, then that should go without saying. I mean, honestly.

R15 is right, OP is tiresome.

If they weren't dicks about it, and if you still are interested in being property manager, go for it. However, if they were assholes when they first rejected the offer, move on.

I say no because as soon as they get what they want you are history.

Sounds like they were doing what was best for them and not being able to achieve that, they are looking into other options. Sounds like they have been honest and shouldn't be expected to have put their tenant's needs first. Nor cater to his ego. OP sounds exhausting and insufferable. Unfortunately, renters are not the ones who hold the cards in the relationship.

Aside from the dis, if you're really not interested then move on.

But if you are, and they're in a bind, make the offer again but with a further rent reduction than your initial proposal.

I totally get it OP. Some people turn into cunts when they have the smallest bit of power over other people. I lived in a shared house with the owner and he would always go out of the way to use the words tenant and landlord even though we were all living as roommates. That guy loved to send passive aggressive group texts about the proper way to use the dishwasher.

"I don’t give second chances to people as a general rule" said every bitter, single eldergay at multiple times in her life - and then wondered why she was single and bitter as she sat alone finishing her fifth Chardonnay of the evening.

OP, don’t cut your nose off to spite your face.

OP, you claim you were disrespected?

Can you explain how? You left that out of your posts. We all thought that you had made a suggestions for dealing with the real estate that they rejected and then changed their mind about.

If they did something disrespectful, that changes things and you ought to tell us more.

In other news, OP cuts off his nose to spite his face.

Rejection is a normal part of life. How you handle it reveals a lot about your maturity and how much you really wanted 'the thing,' whatever it was, to begin with.

I'm in camp OP. What I've learned over the decades is that how someone treats you when you are in the inferior position is how they will treat you when you are once again in the inferior position. What OP could expect if he were to consummate this arrangement would be for the owners to disregard any agreement if it suits them.

Am I missing something? OP does not seem to be badly treated. In fact, he was treated well enough that he asked to enter into a business arrangement with them.

Now, suddenly the idea is they treated him badly? When? When did this happen? What did they do?

OP is a cunt. Don't do it, landlord!

I have to say I'm a cunt like OP. One infraction, and that's it.

Go re-read OP's post, R31. He lays out the sequence of events pretty clearly.

R34, I still do not see it. He offered to manage the property. The friends said no. Then they changed their mind and said yes.

But for some reason he is mad? He is claiming disrespect, but I do not see it. Is it because they said no at first?

That just seems really stupid---especially since they came around to his thinking. So he is angry that they were persuaded by him. Really weird.

^^^So he would be fine with them if they got someone other than him to manage?

It really feels like part of the story is missing.

Well, I personally have a varied approach.

People always reveal who they are, if I just take the time to watch & to listen. The good old silver rule: Shit on me once shame on you. Shit on me twice shame on me. So, yeah I don't give second chances.

But, in the realm of moneymaking its' different. I have absolutely, no skin the game, in terms of liking, loving, or even trusting people. One question plain & simple: Can interaction, relationship(only business for sure) benefit me in terms of money, property or prestige to make money or get property. If they can promote my financial agenda, I interact with them. However, they are never given any inroad with me. I don't shit where I eat.

The initial disrespect was in turning their noses up at my offer. That was bad enough. But then they had the unmitigated gall to come crawling back when they realized they’re preferred course of action didn’t pan out. I will not be anyone’s backup plan.

When I was in my 20s I was a bit overweight and can remember being rejected. It hurt. So, I did a self-improvement make-over with weights and diet. After a year I had lost all the weight and looked great. I was hit on lots of times. But, I always remembered the ones who rejected me. Several times the same guys hit on me, not recognizing me because of the makeover. I loved telling them to fuck off! Especially the hot ones.

Getting a place right now is a royal pain in the ass. I would go with the offer and then save up if you have to to find another place in the meantime.

[quote] The initial disrespect was in turning their noses up at my offer.

Were they rude about it? It sounds like they misjudged how easy / hard it was going to be to sell the place.

I'm pretty observant with people and lots of things can turn me off, but if they were polite about declining your offer and had simply miscalculated their needs, I wouldn't take it personally.

If it suited my financial needs, I'd do it, but be looking for how soon I feather my nest & leave. If they direspected you once they will do it again.

Would be sweet, of course, to be able to leave when it works best for you & to be able to them in the lurch, when they least expect it. Revenge..Ahh.. the dish best served cold.

I forget what I did yesterday, but I NEVER forget the shit people do. Not EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck OP and his rules and consequences and doling out of punishment. Actually, there is no need to do, he will fuck himself over at every opportunity, bear the weight of every grudge (unbeknownst to the person who has aggrieved him), and generally is just a miserable score-keeping little bitch. And always will be.

And never will be content in any situation.

[quote] I will not be anyone’s backup plan.

Enjoy homelessness, OP, or another situation with shittier roommates that you don't get to choose. Keep sabotaging yourself.

OP = What is a housemate?....Is that one of those things the poor do?....

[quote]and they don’t like it when the tables are turned. But fuck them.

Did you have a fair deal or are you envious of people who own property? Anger and envy are your two emotions that just reek and emanate. Were they mean or unkind landlords to you?

OP doesn't understand there is an affordable housing crisis in America. He will find out soon enough when he hops into the back seat of his car to go to sleep.

Unless I misunderstood, they came crawling back. What more do you want?

In sexual situations I never let them win if they change their mind. If someone rejected me in the past i'll always refuse them sex when they changed their minds.

OP, you need some help with your issues.

My sister is like OP. I’m not saying she’s bad or wrong, it’s just a very black and white way of being. And it only applies to other people. She wants second chances and the benefit of the doubt for herself.

I get it if someone has mistreated you, but I’m not seeing it in OP’s case. But if OP wants to take his offer back, he’s not wrong or bad.

Somewhat OT: the actress who played Miranda in “Picnic at Hanging Rock” was cast in the role, then told the producers changed their mind, then rehired when they decided their other choice had gained too much weight.

Was she supposed to pout, stand on pride, and tell them to fuck off? No. If it’s a job you want, you say thank you.

^ You can't go into a perfect mathematical dimension if you are fat.

Remember that, girls!

56 comments and we've yet to hear how OP was disrespected. If they were pleasant during the initial rejection, and later came around to agree with you, what's the big damn deal? OP is a drama queen.

So many gay men are damaged, OP in particular.

There is no "rejection" here.

You made them a business proposal.

Sounds like they did not initially appreciate the benefit of what you were proposing, but as they thought it about, the benefits of the arrangement became more apparent.

But that aside, what a horrible and unhappy way to go through life, OP, never giving anyone a second chance, or, more accurately, reading negative intentions (or the possibility thereof) into ever interaction you have.

#TherapyWorks

OTOH, imagine being an adult man and having to live with roommates

Thank you R57 and R58.

OP sounds like someone very damaged. That he considers what happened "rejection" and claims that they are "crawling back" --then feels the need for retribution over.....what?

Sounds very Cluster B.

Let's just hope he repeats this story obsessively to anyone he meets so they get fair warning not to engage with him.

OP in action

OP cannot differentiate b/w personal and business. and will always be rentin with roommates

Recently a friend put a bid on a house, but someone else bid more. Before they could close, the mortgage fell though on the higher bidder, so they came back to my friend, who got a house that he really loves.

OPs head would explode. He would feel the need to punish the seller and the broker for having gone with the higher offer originally.

I am sorry but I am enjoying this thread way too much. I have no idea if it is real or an EST, but the idea that someone like OP could exist is so ridiculous and delicious that I cannot stop coming back to this thread.

Nah. I just say, 'Stick with your first impression'.

💰 💰 💰

In business, there's no room for pettiness. Always and only focus on the bottom line. If you can make a good deal, you make a good deal. Seize the opportunity, don't let personal pride get in the way.

I can’t get my head around OP’s belief that he was somehow mistreated, but it’s even stranger to me that there are other people agreeing with him. Or maybe they are just egging him on.

OP, they wanted to sell the house. That would mean you having to leave. Their biggest nightmare is for you to not get the fuck out of the house when they need to deliver it empty. So the last thing they are going to do is to give you ANY encouragement or indication that it might be possible for you to stay, unless they are completely sure that is what they want. Because they don’t want you to become a problem, but also because THAT would be disrespectful and mean. Jerking you around and letting my you think you can stay and then pulling the rug out from under you. They did the right thing.

[quote]They rejected me, now it’s their turn to get rejected

Did they really reject you personally, or did they merely not accept your offer and then reconsidered? I hope for your sake you're trolling, because if not, you sound like a miserable human being who generates drama to feel alive.

[quote]But then they had the unmitigated gall to come crawling back

MARY!

OP, were you an only child who got everything you wanted when you wanted it? Life doesn't work that way. You sound like a spoiled brat.

Question for the OP: Is the place you are living in now better or worse than places you are finding available to move to? As far as price, location, type of housing, etc.

If places you are considering are worse than what you have now, why not stay until you find something better?

Not at all R72

He sounds much more like someone who was shat upon and bullied for much of his life and thus developed a defense mechanism that tells him that no one is ever to be trusted and that it is only a matter of time before people let you down.

He then goes on to push people away before they can let him down and push him away, as, to his mind, that is the inevitable outcome of any human relationship.

This leaves him bitter, cynical and frequently self-destructive. I would not be surprised to learn OP has a drinking problem or (this being DL) a binge-eating problem.

I'm not a shrink, but have been on DL enough to have learned this behavior and thought pattern is quite common with older gay men.

I don't, OP, but I consider it a character flaw, especially if it would benefit my interests to accept.

[QUOTE] I offered to find a couple of other roommates and act as a sort of property manager in exchange for reduced rent. They initially said no, but later changed their minds and asked to take me up on my offer.

Bad idea, they were right to turn you down. What happens if you fail to perform but you still have reduced rent?

OP, you must have a small cock.

Does cock size matter in a bottom?

R78 Cock size always matters!