Coming out at 58

Mental illness. Period

I follow a FB page for gays over 60 and some of those guys are still struggling.

Autogynephilia.

Kaitlyn owns this thread.

That’s dumb.

Wearing a short skirt when painting a house doesn't seem very practical.

Yes, a transvestite.

That is one HARD 58.

Just 5 to 10 years ago we all understood exactly what a fetishistic transvestite straight male was, and we all knew what motivated them. Post gender ideology those men are now just women, period. We as a society are getting dumber and dumber and more and more influenced by cult thinking.

Better never than late.

I won’t usually engage in the trans-bashing threads (because it’s gotten me banned from posting in the past and I don’t think arguing with folks is being a good ally). A very close friend, someone I never in a million years would have expected, came out as trans at 50. She wasn’t a gay guy, she was married father. I love her every bit as much as I did when she was a he, and I support her 100%. She, and her wife and their daughter (who is surprisingly cool with having a trans mom-dad), are the ones that have to deal with this. She’s never going to pass, and that doesn’t seem to bother her. She’s so much happier now than she ever was before and I’ve known her for 30 years through some sad times. I do feel sympathy for her wife. They’re still married, but I know it’s been rough. I wish she could have come out at 20 instead of 50, but I know she loves her daughter more than anything in the world and wouldn’t change anything.

I don’t see it as my place to judge her or other trans folks. Their lives are hard enough. I’d never contribute to making things more difficult for them.

R11 Thats all cool. But what do you think about this person potentially sharing intimate spacers such as communal showers and changing rooms with women? A 50yo straight turned woman who does not pass? What about the needs of those women to have their own boundaries and spaces.

[quote][R11] Thats all cool. But what do you think about this person potentially sharing intimate spacers such as communal showers and changing rooms with women? A 50yo straight turned woman who does not pass? What about the needs of those women to have their own boundaries and spaces.

Well, we don’t talk about what she does and what she needs in terms of women only spaces. I’m sure she has to use women’s restrooms from time to time, but she lives in a major metropolitan area where that’s not unusual, plus she’s going to use a stall, so I don’t see that as a huge problem. She’s 50 and if she’s using a gym, I don’t think she’s going to want to use the women’s locker room. I think she’ll just show up in her workout clothes, exercise, and leave. She’s not a confrontational person and I don’t see her as the type to demand that she have access to women’s only spaces. The only thing she’s ever complained about was getting grief from the state about changing her ID. It was causing her stress because she had a pic of her with long hair and makeup and an ID that said male, and she had to get the DMV to understand that they already had a policy in place for changing gender markers on IDs, she had met all the requirements and provided the paperwork, and they still refused her. She got it sorted eventually and to her, that was a victory. I think that’s probably a bigger concern for most trans folks than whether they can use a locker room or bathroom. That’s a Republican talking point, not an issue that is affecting most trans folks. Yes, there are creeps that want to invade women’s spaces. But most aren’t. Most just want to live their lives in peace and go to work and not get called names.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Sue the fuck out of them, kid.

It looks 78.

Good for her. She’s all we aspire to be when we get old.

Grand looking house she’s painting.

Let him/they/whatever do their own thing, but please get some teeth. Having so few teeth alters the face. As someone said upthread he/they looks 78.

Some trans men are gay men so not all men that want to become women are straight.

[quote]That’s a Republican talking point, not an issue that is affecting most trans folks.

It may not affect trans people but have you considered how it affects actual women?

R21 Men get to decide who they want to be and where they want to go. Women will adjust.

As soon as you see the dirty, crayon scribbled RV, you know there's an exceedingly large quantity of mental illness stuffed in between it's walls. 🙄

The saddest thing about the story at R14 is the link to 40 thirst-trap photos of Heather Graham and her boobs on the beach.

R13, thanks for sharing this. I’ve read that a lot of MTF come out in middle age; it corresponds with a natural drop in testosterone that happens around that age. Girls, who reach peak testosterone at 18-19, but reach peak estrogen in their late 20s, may want to cross dress at some point and then stop wanting to…Guys who aren’t happy at having to live up to a cultural standard that admitting to being overwhelmed by something isn’t masculine might at some point think about what it means to live as a woman if what they want is permission to ask for help or to have self-expression. But the hormones sometimes make people no longer attracted to their partners; your friend may have never had a wife and daughter transitioning at 20 instead of 50. It may be true that “masculinity” as a cultural concept is toxic to many men, their physical maleness aside. But their conceptions of “femaleness” are internal and not based on anything objective to the body, more objective to the culture ; I would guess what they really want is a change. To say surgery is the answer ignores the capacity for people to change over time and also makes us less likely to address social issues that should be talked about widely. But I’m glad your friend is happy with her life and choosing the best option for her at the moment…

Fetishes escalate over time.

Same old story....a middle age white guy feels irrelevant, the grave looms. He has three choices: acceptance, the bottle or declaring himself trans.

He looks like a villain in a 1980s a British crime drama. Not the main villain, but one who is suspected in the second act and charged with unrelated offences.

Does she score a lot of hot young str8 dick?

R26 Is that so? Interesting.

R11 I know two well, and feel as you. One is a neighbour, and one is a friend I knew ages ago as a young gay man.

Too early. For our sake he should wait til he’s dead. Yea

Dress as a woman if that floats your boat, but why is he dressed like a ten-year-old girl?

Of course he doesn't have to give a rat's ass about what people think of him, but why draw attention and potentially unkind remarks to himself? I've seen obese women do this too. They dress like circus clowns hoping to be noticed then become aggrieved and aggressive when people laugh at their ridiculous attire.

If you've been awash in testosterone for 58 years, you're desire to be a woman is based on guilt: yo'ure blaming your penis for something you did.

...k

Thanks r25 and r30.

[quote]That’s a Republican talking point, not an issue that is affecting most trans folks.

[quote]It may not affect trans people but have you considered how it affects actual women?

I have and I think most of those instances are by people trying to be provocative and intentionally make people uncomfortable. And I think that it’s rare and it makes the news every time it happens and isn’t representative of the majority of trans women who don’t want to make people uncomfortable, having spent much of their time being made to feel uncomfortable themselves. But Republicans do love stories like that. Those and stories of young trans kids needing to use the bathrooms at school. If a high schooler is trans girl and tries to use the women’s restroom, parents freak out and call the news, and at the same time if a trans girl has to use the mens’ restroom, she faces getting beaten up, called slurs, or worse. Kids are way more open-minded than we can ever realize. My nieces would be the first to take that girl by the hand and march her into the women’s restroom and watch the door for her while she she uses the bathroom! And I don’t think they’re alone. Kids are pretty protective of their friends, gay and trans, today.

If my 50 year old friend is invading any traditionally women’s spaces, it’s something dumb like a knitting group or a cat-lady luncheon. She’s not out to erase women or invade their spaces. She just wants to get shoes that fit and makeup help at Sephora.

Never too late

"any traditionally women’s spaces, it’s something dumb like a knitting group or a cat-lady luncheon." - Yeah, traditional women's spaces are so dumb, r36. If those women are creeped out by having a man attend, which means they won't be able to relax and talk about things and have a good time together as they wish, then they should just shut up! Your friend's delusions - especially his delusion that he'll fit right in with the girls - matter so much more!

"She just wants to get shoes that fit and makeup help at Sephora." - Your male friend who thinks he's a woman isn't going to find women's shoes that fit him because he doesn't have women's feet. And why should anyone give a fuck about the young female staff at Sephora, who will have to look carefully at your male friend's face and try to help him realise his middle-aged man's stereotypes of women's make up. And who will have the heart to explain to him that men and women have different skin types.

By the way, there are no such things as "trans kids". There are simply kids who behave differently from the gender stereotypes. There is nothing wrong with those kids' bodies and any adults who seek to mutilate or sterilise children and to block their body's natural development are sick and evil.

[quote]Yeah, traditional women's spaces are so dumb, [R36].

I never said all women’s spaces were dumb and think most are very important, so please don’t misconstrue what I actually said. You don’t know my friend. She was there for me and stayed my friend when I came out as gay. She’s an important person in my life. Your hurtful comments aren’t something that she’ll ever see, so I assume they’re directed at me. But they don’t hurt me so I’m not sure what your point is.

R38, calling people “sick and evil” tends to lead to hate crimes. I’m against the hormones and surgery too, but having directly known many people who believe the general arguments of transitioning because they were raised with them, I would hardly describe them that way. Many are thoughtful and great people in every respect; some are family. The trans arguments are backed by various studies and all the opposing studies are done by conservative groups; the same groups apparently strive to achieve some rigid society devoid of freedom of thought and are not appealing whatsoever so it’s hardly surprising that studies by them are easy to ignore for many people. The thing is, though, I don’t believe what I believe because of a study. I was raised at a time when the prevailing belief was that your body is your body, while you are yourself. Your body has a sex part and that has nothing to do with how you are as a person, but it’s a factually existing sex part. And the argument that “biological sex” is inaccurate because trans women also have biology doesn’t make any logical sense. Everything alive has biology. Biological sex is just literally referring to sex parts, which factually exist.

Oh, lord.

Which Harry Dean Stanton film is OP’s pic from?

[...]

Well, at least he’s old enough to make the decision himself.

Unlike Jazz Jennings. With that useless canal their mother made them get.

[quote]With that useless canal

Hey! That’s not nice! I’m sure that’s what everyone said about your mother’s crack after you slid out.

The Love Canal?

There is NO WAY IN HELL that man in the video is 58.

R45 you were probably conceived via anal sex.

[quote][R45] you were probably conceived via anal sex.

Lol! I’ll give you full credit for that. I WW’d your post.

No but you did describe girls and women, who don’t want trans women and teenage boys rocking with their cocks out in public change rooms, as cat ladies and knitters.

Yeah, no negative stereotyping at all from you, r39.

Oh grow up. Anybody who is offended by nudity is mentally ill. Full stop.

R51, if you want to join a nudist colony and everyone else who joins says they’re fine with it, and then the next day they scream at you for being nude, yeah, that’s crazy. I believe most office and restaurant dress codes require people to be clothed, however. Full stop.

[quote]No but you did describe girls and women, who don’t want trans women and teenage boys rocking with their cocks out in public change rooms, as cat ladies and knitters.Yeah, no negative stereotyping at all from you, [R39].

I did no such thing.

R50, I’m not R39, I’m a woman who read his post, and I don’t think he was disparaging women although if I really liked knitting I might take offense. It would be like saying stamp collecting is a silly male hobby. But men aren’t banned from knitting groups anyway; it really would be discrimination to ban a trans woman from a knitting forum. If it’s just a group of close female friends who meet in someone’s house I can see the situation could be uncomfortable but in that case it shouldn’t be a public group. A public group would meet in a public place, also be open to male knitters, etc.

Coming out...as what?

There are actually several books written for and by male knitters, including “The Manly Art of Knitting” and “Knitting With Balls” both for sale on Amazon.

R33 Though your post is hilarious;(and it indeed made me laugh) It all sounds too Freudian to be believed. Rather than focusing on some cause, or process to explain it, it's much easier for me to simply accept them as they are... no questions asked.

"Does she score a lot of hot young str8 dick?"

You have to live near a military base for that.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

But if the trans at R59s link had been denied the surgery, he would have screamed "TRANSPHOBIA" at the top of his lungs. You just can't win with these guys.

R59 is a terrible story but I don’t buy that you can just get your penis split open and inverted without some serious contemplation and lots of conversations with doctors. I’m not gonna say he’s an idiot, but it sounds like buyers remorse.

He was emotionally compromised and got led into it by a homophobic cult.

The de-trans dude in r59 looked like cute, butch, indie-chick in his girl drag. It’s a real shame he went in for castration - a shame, and idiotic.

The first step to happiness is accepting who you are and appreciating your body for what it can do and how it serves you to go through the world. And it serves you well by enabling you to urinate and procreate and experience sexual pleasure. A couple of years of intensive talk therapy ought to be mandatory prior to any cosmetic sex change operation.

This is just a difficult, transitional time. In the future, you'll be able to change your sex at will. See a hot straight guy in a bar? Step into the Sex-A-Dapter, and go home with a stud.

[quote]but I don’t buy that you can just get your penis split open and inverted without some serious contemplation and lots of conversations with doctors

Oh you sweet summer child, that is NOT how it works anymore.