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I’m Trying Celibacy

I am a 40-year-old gay man.

I am a good looking top guy with 8.5 inches. I have had sex with well over 1,000 men since I was 19 years old. Cruises, Grindr, traveling, etc. I don’t consider myself any kind of sex addict, it’s just plentiful and I’ve had LOTS of it.

I have been in love only twice and am now separated from the first true “love of my life.” We were married for 5+ years and of course “open” for the last few. We were never really sexually compatible but I fell for him because he was the first man I’d ever “waited” to have sex with. About two months before we did anything.

I’m tired of seeking something fulfilling from sex. Tired of “performing” for guys who just want to get pounded. Tired of the never ending, nonstop “hunt.” Just TIRED.

So I’m stopping. I don’t know when I’ll have sex again. No dating. No sex. No NOTHING. Don’t know when it’ll happen. I just know that for the foreseeable future I need to let it go.

I feel like there’s something broken in me from all the sex and I feel like I need to heal. Yes, I’m a child sexual abuse survivor. I thought I’d dealt with that but perhaps I haven’t and this is one way to start.

Has anyone tried celibacy?

by Anonymousreply 249September 13, 2022 10:24 PM

[quote}Tired of “performing” for guys who just want to get pounded. Tired of the never ending, nonstop “hunt.” Just TIRED.

Exhausted?

by Anonymousreply 1June 21, 2022 4:12 PM

I can relate to this on a couple levels, though I have always been a bottom. I gave up sex/dating 6 years ago after a series of bad dates and finding out my FB was recording our hook-ups. Every now and then I fall into a porn hole but overall I don't miss it. I had a lot of encounters over the years so maybe I just became cynical about sex and romance, but I spoke to a therapist about it and she didn't seem concerned and I did work out a few issues. Sometimes it's okay to just work on yourself.

by Anonymousreply 2June 21, 2022 4:40 PM

Facebook was recording your hook-ups?

by Anonymousreply 3June 21, 2022 4:43 PM

OP, why do you have to go from 180 to 0. Can't you just slow down? Take time to get to know people? Develop friendships first based on mutual interests, see where it goes?

by Anonymousreply 4June 21, 2022 4:48 PM

What a waste of good top dick. Oh well. Good luck to you, buddy!

by Anonymousreply 5June 21, 2022 4:49 PM

You need to go out and find guys that have similar interests and make some friends, OP, not be strictly dickly about attraction. I love my husband on several other aspect other than just sexual attraction.

I also very much encourage you to do some work on yourself, therapy. I also urge you to read the book, “Velvet Rage”.

I think a lot of it is gay guys try to fill loneliness with sex.

by Anonymousreply 6June 21, 2022 5:25 PM

A period of forced celibacy is good to think about your views towards sex.

Should it be meaningful? Do you want a BF? Is it worth it without love? Should you have standards?

Once you are honest with yourself about what sex should be for you, you get back into the game.

It can just becoming an unfulfilling, meaningless, empty habit that gives an hour of pleasure. That shouldn't be enough .

by Anonymousreply 7June 21, 2022 5:46 PM

OP, I see that you must be done after so many hook ups. As one gets older it really gets tiresome. But why giving up on romance, companionship, emotional connection? Since you are a top, it should be much easier for you to find a guy because there are plenty of lovely nice bottoms. Even here on DL you see many good lonely guys longing for love. No need to become a nun you are too young.

by Anonymousreply 8June 21, 2022 5:47 PM

Give 2 inches to me, I only have 6.5.

Problem solved. You'll no longer be seen as just a big dick.

by Anonymousreply 9June 21, 2022 5:49 PM

Yeah, why from 180 to zero? Wouldn’t it be better if you just put off sex until after a couple dates?

Are you tired of sex or tired of dating or both?

How come you and the love of your life weren’t compatible? He was as a top too?

by Anonymousreply 10June 21, 2022 5:58 PM

sounds like your first love came pretty late in life, that head-over-heels, don't-care-about-compatibility love fog. it really gets to you, but you survive it and start thinking more about a partner

by Anonymousreply 11June 21, 2022 7:14 PM

Try blogging while you're at it.

by Anonymousreply 12June 21, 2022 7:15 PM

OP, you could also try living in reality.

by Anonymousreply 13June 21, 2022 7:18 PM

Stay off Grindr and don’t go out cruising. Just live your life and you may find love in another setting. Some times it comes along when you least expect it.

by Anonymousreply 14June 21, 2022 7:19 PM

@R3 - FB = Fuck Buddy

OP, celibacy is a good thing for you. Over 1k different sex partners at 40 years old? Damn!

by Anonymousreply 15June 21, 2022 7:49 PM

Goodness. Does your dick glow in the dark?

by Anonymousreply 16June 21, 2022 8:02 PM

Celibate, celibate, dance to the music.

by Anonymousreply 17June 21, 2022 8:08 PM

[quote]Over 1k different sex partners at 40 years old?

For sexually active gay men who live in a big city that's not crazy. I mean you can easily go to a party and end up hooking up with several guys in one night.

But really, who even bothers to keep count.

by Anonymousreply 18June 21, 2022 8:08 PM

[quote]I feel like there’s something broken in me from all the sex and I feel like I need to heal.

Can you elaborate on this? I.e. when did you first notice you were feeling this way and what that feeling of 'brokenness' is like? As a straight man it's interesting reading another man write that; even the most prolific womanizers I know (some of whom are even older than you are) have never expressed anything like what you wrote. Granted, not many of them even approach your partner count, but I do wonder if something about what you're feeling is tied to the 'ease' with which gay men can find sex.

by Anonymousreply 19June 21, 2022 8:11 PM

What is an 'EST,' Daddy?

by Anonymousreply 20June 21, 2022 8:12 PM

Am I supposed to give a fuck?

by Anonymousreply 21June 21, 2022 8:13 PM

[quote]Exhausted?

Or Spent?

by Anonymousreply 22June 21, 2022 8:22 PM

Over 1,000 in 19 years averages 1.092 a week... impressive.

by Anonymousreply 23June 21, 2022 9:40 PM

Another silly thread. Time to grow up OP (did we need to know about your dick?) or nice try, EST.

by Anonymousreply 24June 21, 2022 9:45 PM

OP here.

The feeling of “brokenness” has been there for awhile. It became more pronounced the past few years as I dealt with the breakup by diving right back into the same old patterns.

I do feel like at some point I want to explore moving much slower and find a compatible partner. Yes, we were both tops. But incompatible in other more fundamental ways. We still have so much love for each other but I just can’t make it work.

I moved too quickly back into “single” mode and now I just want to stop it all for at least a period. I’ve never been celibate for any period of time before since I became active: the sex has always come quite easily to me. It’s the other stuff that has been harder to find.

There’s a part of me that thinks if I put a hard stop on this stuff and kind of rewire how I view the world (and it views me) I will find what I’m ultimately looking for.

by Anonymousreply 25June 21, 2022 10:23 PM

Op....when you quit looking for love that is the point in time when it finds you.....you are on the right path and do not settle for less .

by Anonymousreply 26June 21, 2022 10:26 PM

I think it is a good idea. I got to a point where I was just tired of the hassle. Plus, taking a break, you stop the compulsiveness of the behavior. I recognized I have used sex to manage my anxiety all my life, so it kept me from really addressing my anxiety issues. The online sex during COVID just felt gross and made me look at the madness of it all. I have a friend who hooks up regularly and it all seems so transactional. He talks about sex like it’s going for tacos. It doesn’t really have any significance.

by Anonymousreply 27June 22, 2022 12:52 AM

I also agree that The Velvet Rage is a must read.

by Anonymousreply 28June 22, 2022 12:53 AM

OP why do you think it’s connected to the early abuse? Sorry that happened to you. I bet it’s common for victims of abuse to be compulsive sexually, but given how normal promiscuity is in the gay world, I don’t know if it’s always the case..

by Anonymousreply 29June 22, 2022 12:58 AM

You seem sweet, OP. So let me be real for a minute and give you some advice: Don’t do this.

I’m closing in on 6 years of celibacy. Had a bad breakup and decided to swear off men for a while. Before you know it, the days become the weeks become the months become the years.

I’ve become so used to being alone and it feels like it’s too late to go back and there’s no point of messing up my life to let a guy in who might hurt me again. It becomes a cycle that feeds into itself. I’m going to be alone because I’m already alone and I don’t want to upset the Apple cart. Nobody is good enough to break out of my self-imposed sexile.

Deal with whatever your issues are with the guy you just broke up with. Those issues do not apply to all men. There is someone out there who is actually right for you.

You gotta get back on the horse, OP. The sooner, the better.

by Anonymousreply 30June 22, 2022 1:05 AM

OP, are you trying celibacy like you're trying our patience?

Oh, no you're not.

by Anonymousreply 31June 22, 2022 1:14 AM

I’m tired…

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 32June 22, 2022 1:50 AM

Are you still watching porn, OP?

by Anonymousreply 33June 22, 2022 1:52 AM

Jerking off? Yes or no?

Why not just stop having sex for awhile, why label it?

by Anonymousreply 34June 22, 2022 2:06 AM

I agree with R30.

by Anonymousreply 35June 22, 2022 2:15 AM

3/1000

by Anonymousreply 36June 22, 2022 2:18 AM

Stay home and self-suck.

by Anonymousreply 37June 22, 2022 2:47 AM

There's not having sex, and then there is "I'm celibate." My concern is that if you start over-identifying with the label, it could become a fixed part of your identity. How about just take time for yourself? Live your life for awhile.

by Anonymousreply 38June 22, 2022 2:49 AM

No porn. I’m anti-porn after I read a book called “Your Brain On Porn” that connects it to ED and other stuff. Also I think porn today is very extreme and aggressive and is way too influential on peoples sexual tastes. I remember when fisting was a very extreme, fringe thing…now it’s being mainstreamed because of porn.

I try not to jerk off, too. I’m a no-fapper.

So the next period of time is going to be quite interesting since I literally won’t be ejaculating. Thx for advice DeFacto it makes sense.

I’m taking a trip overseas at the end of august. Will be lots of gay dudes there. Maybe I’ll break my streak then. But I really need to step back and do some self-reflection. It’ll be interesting to see how Pride weekend in NYC will be now that I know I won’t be having any sex.

Plus my last guy was actually a very sweet Grindr hookup and it was - oddly enough - probably the best sex I’ve had in quite some time. He’s very sweet and very sexy. But he really likes me and wants to date me I think so I need to let him down gently.

by Anonymousreply 39June 22, 2022 3:02 AM

Wow 1,000 I’m a disgrace I’m looking for my 4th lay

by Anonymousreply 40June 22, 2022 5:06 AM

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 for humble bragging.

by Anonymousreply 41June 22, 2022 5:08 AM

I’m celibate. I like it. I’m much more productive. I’m glad I don’t have to deal with a relationship, much less dating and hooking up. Ideally I should be a monk copying manuscripts but I don’t have a religious bone in my body.

by Anonymousreply 42June 22, 2022 5:46 AM

Miss OP is confusing her "8.5 inches" with 8.5 centimetres.

by Anonymousreply 43June 22, 2022 5:49 AM

Anonymous fucks lost their charm for me long after they should have. I kept going back to the trough and racking up a significant percentage of fucks who clearly thought less of themselves for not saying no to me, and others who did say no almost before I could say I was there to meet someone I didn’t know and ...

So, the rejections came based purely on looks and in the first ten seconds. I didn’t even have a chance to be “interesting” because they were comparing the fantasies they’d developed as we communicated online to the person who showed up and giving me the bad news immediately. That didn’t happen when I was younger and I hope like hell I’m smart enough that it never happens again, even if I have to go to a senior center and sign up for pickleball.

by Anonymousreply 44June 22, 2022 6:01 AM

A new angle on hunblebragging.

by Anonymousreply 45June 22, 2022 6:03 AM

[quote] I am a good looking top guy with 8.5 inches. I have had sex with well over 1,000 men

Wise call to lead with this; if you had declared that you were a bottom and had decided to quit getting fucked your steamy little thread would be attended by only crickets and tumbleweeds.

by Anonymousreply 46June 22, 2022 6:23 AM

"I’ve never been celibate for any period of time."

by Anonymousreply 47June 22, 2022 6:38 AM

So, if the OP started whoring at age 20, according to my calculations, that means he's been with fifty different mean for each of the last 20 years. Which means...

You're a WHORE darlin'...a WHORE.

by Anonymousreply 48June 22, 2022 6:44 AM

This EST is total proof that 99.9% of DL is comprised of elderly bottoms. The comments are so kind to the strapping, 8.5 inch insatiable cocksman with a heart of gold. If a bottom told the same story they would be eviscerated.

by Anonymousreply 49June 22, 2022 6:57 AM

R48=fish

by Anonymousreply 50June 22, 2022 7:00 AM

Could you possibly be any more boring?

by Anonymousreply 51June 22, 2022 7:08 AM

I’ve learned questioning the status quo of the gay world, especially social or sexual norms, only invites harsh criticism from other gay men, where the only real problem or issue identified is your bad attitude or perception of things. It leads to a lot of isolation, because you can’t be open or honest about feelings or struggle, and you’ll just be dismissed or made fun of.

The cattiness can be funny here on DL, but in real life, you are perceived as strange because you want something more or different than endless hookups—or because you.want real connections with other men based on more than the mutual pursuit of cock. So you figure the problem is you, and go back to seeking fulfillment by doing more of what you feel is eating your soul, because the at least there is some company in the misery.

Ultimately you have to have the strength to figure out what you want or need and act accordingly. Life is short. But if you are waiting on a cheering section from the gay world, you’ll be waiting a long time. And DL is the last place to look for it.

by Anonymousreply 52June 22, 2022 12:42 PM

I am all for it. I practice celibacy mostly because I am too ugly to get anything. I find it comforting to know I don’t need to hookup to be happy. People who just chase after cock and hookups are like addicts trying to fill a void. They will never be satisfied. The sex crazed are surely inferior.

by Anonymousreply 53June 22, 2022 12:48 PM

OP says he doesn't masturbate either.

IMO not shooting loads regularly is not healthy for the plumbing. Supposed to be bad for the prostate, too. At 40, this is too young to stop flushing the pipes.

by Anonymousreply 54June 22, 2022 12:54 PM

So what you’re saying is that you’re struggling with the fact that everything else doesn’t come as easy as sex. I don’t have a lot of sympathy here, this is something you should’ve started to realize at least a decade ago.

by Anonymousreply 55June 22, 2022 1:02 PM

R54, regular masturbation can still be considered practicing celibacy.

R55 Exact opposite, I wish sex came as easy as everything else in life lol.

by Anonymousreply 56June 22, 2022 1:13 PM

[quote] The comments are so kind to the strapping, 8.5 inch insatiable cocksman with a heart of gold.

Hot.

by Anonymousreply 57June 22, 2022 4:25 PM

It's funny r49, I was thinking of OP as tall and thin and a bit shallow not "strapping with a heart of gold", but I'm not fapping to him.

by Anonymousreply 58June 22, 2022 5:32 PM

How about mingling your bullshits, OP?

And how about keeping your bullshits to yourself, since they're not engaging, they're implicitly homophobic/sex-aversive, and blaming?

What a masquerading cunt troll.

[quote]Do masculine gay men still go out to gay bars? At least in NYC OP is right, and the triggered responses of all these people prove his point. Men in the gay world HAVE gotten femmier and femmier as the years have passed, and the NYC crowd is as feminine as ever. I think it’s because gay culture has become so mainstreamed there are so many messages as to “how” to be gay: and the young gay men are taught as teens at this point to flame it up. Masc, secure, chill gay men are a rarity, which is why they’re so sought after.

by Anonymousreply 59June 22, 2022 5:43 PM

Humans are not designed for celibacy. It's a disastrous mind f*ck to screw up with a natural desire to bust a load. So jack off when you feel really horny instead of going to Grindr.

Most importantly, step up your game. Not the quantity, but the quality. Keep your eyes open and start gradually stepping into an elevated, higher league where a more stable, content, satisfying, successful, beautiful crowd is functioning way beyond your level of unhappiness.

by Anonymousreply 60June 22, 2022 6:10 PM

Man whore gets bored with banging. Makes sense.

by Anonymousreply 61June 22, 2022 6:17 PM

[quote]Humans are not designed for celibacy. It's a disastrous mind f*ck to screw up with a natural desire to bust a load.

R60 ,Celibacy doesn't mean NOT masturbating. It means not having sex with another person. He can jerk off as much as he wants, he is still Celibant.

by Anonymousreply 62June 23, 2022 3:34 AM

R19 thinks he's straight. Those poor, sick perverts. Reduced to cruising gay gossip sites to get their thrills.

by Anonymousreply 63June 23, 2022 3:36 AM

Of course celibates masturbate. We just don't have sex with other people.

by Anonymousreply 64June 23, 2022 4:25 AM

No one finds you attractive anyway OP, so it's a good thing.

by Anonymousreply 65June 23, 2022 4:45 AM

No subtle whoring with this one.

by Anonymousreply 66June 23, 2022 5:05 AM

I know something was fishy and my theory about thirsty elder bottoms proven correctly when hot dogs down a hallway De-Facto was far too keen to comfort and defend.

by Anonymousreply 67June 23, 2022 6:39 AM

OP's story just screams 'humblebrag'

by Anonymousreply 68June 23, 2022 7:26 AM

R67, DeFacto WISHES he had a hotdogs-n-hallways situation going on. He has admitted to not having had sex for six years.

by Anonymousreply 69June 23, 2022 12:12 PM

Well if you are ugly and no one wants to have sex with you celibacy is pretty easy to maintain unfortunately…

by Anonymousreply 70June 23, 2022 12:23 PM

This guy knows everything and he recommends it.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 71June 23, 2022 12:23 PM

R71 interesting will need to try it. As I am celibate due to being an ugly gay man, I feel that I have conquered the desire many people fall into a trap with: sexual desire. It’s such a basic crude animalistic desire and people can’t help themselves and act like a dog in heat… if you comment on how that seems stupid to do, you are called “sex negative”.

by Anonymousreply 72June 23, 2022 12:41 PM

Troll.

by Anonymousreply 73June 23, 2022 12:42 PM

Interesting, R71. I used to know a very nice and attractive gay Indian man who was a big fan of Sadhguru. I certainly hope he didn't choose celibacy, it would be quite the waste.

by Anonymousreply 74June 23, 2022 1:12 PM

I don't really see the point in celibacy. It seems to be unnecessarily punishing for no benefit.

I think you need to focus on quality, not quantity OP. You say you have had a lot of sex, with a lot of men, but what percentage of that was really enjoyable and fulfilling? Fast food sex just makes you empty inside.

by Anonymousreply 75June 23, 2022 1:21 PM

Also having read through more of the thread now I see you aren't even going to masturbate and ejaculate on a regular basis which is straight up unhealthy and has been linked to higher prevalence of prostate cancer. If you don't want to fuck guys, at the very least make sure you clean your pipes once a week!

by Anonymousreply 76June 23, 2022 1:33 PM

The age old gay dilemma - realizing in middle age that life and partnership have little to do with sex. Sex is actually a misleading distraction in the hunt for happiness. It’s so much clearer now in my 50s that the biological, urgent sex drive has waned. The opportunities and encouragement of sexual abundance in gay youth can be a distraction from accomplishing what means most in life. And that includes finding a domestic partner to live life with - after the sex mania has waned.

by Anonymousreply 77June 23, 2022 1:58 PM

all the rhetoric of an ex-gay but none of the commitment

by Anonymousreply 78June 23, 2022 2:04 PM

So, OP, you replaced seeking validation through sex with seeking validation on DL starting threads like this one? Great. *two thumbs up*

"I'm celibate now, y'all! Look at me!"

Why, no, you're not a trolling attention whore at all! AT ALL!

by Anonymousreply 79June 23, 2022 2:12 PM

Maybe a healing trip to an Ayahuasca retreat is what you need to find your answers.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 80June 23, 2022 2:24 PM

"I am a good looking top guy with 8.5 inches. I have had sex with well over 1,000 men since I was 19 years old. Cruises, Grindr, traveling, etc. I don’t consider myself any kind of sex addict, it’s just plentiful and I’ve had LOTS of it"......

but would you consider yourself an attention addict?

by Anonymousreply 81June 23, 2022 4:17 PM

[quote] I have had sex with well over 1,000 men since I was 19 years old.

Amateur

by Anonymousreply 82June 23, 2022 6:05 PM

I was forced into celibacy as no gay man ever wanted to touch me. It sucks sometimes not having human contact, but you get over that quickly if you keep yourself busy.

by Anonymousreply 83June 28, 2022 1:12 PM

OP, my story is somewhat similar. I was really sexually active and I never considered myself an addict, either. When I hit late 30s I just became very **done** with it.

I think a helpful thing is not to think about it as a negative, or that by not participating in sex that you are somehow "missing out." I just felt like I needed to rest those muscles, so to speak. I did for a few years, and did a reset. I ended up meeting my partner that way.

A partner may not be your end goal, but it sounds like you need a break. So work other muscle groups, so to speak. Meditate. Take a class. Do something that brings you the same sense of fun and joy and discovery that sex with a new trick can bring. No one is watching, and no one is requiring you to write your name in blood and commit to celibacy FOREVAH! But yeah, stretch yourself and be in a different space for a while.

by Anonymousreply 84June 28, 2022 1:19 PM

Dear Tired Top Guy. I know exactly how you feel. Th problem is you are chasing an ideal. You are hot with a big dick so you go for what you think you want and it is exhausting. We are about the same age and I am in the same boat but other side. I thought all I needed in a guy was hot with a big dick. Yeah it's great for a while but as you say they get tired of performing or being what you think I want you to be. Same for me. I get lazy, and my partner gets bored or tired and goes looking. Then I had an epiphany. If I wanted to keep my man, I had to work not him.. I set up rules in my head. I would never ever let my man go to bed with out sex. At the very least I would blow him but I was always ready for anal and if I initiated it I did the work. The same went for the morning. I would never let him wake up and leave the bed with out a blow job and even the occasional anal i the morning too. I took mental notes of what made him moan and did them over and over. Ass eaten? I will do it for hours if he loves it. I treated sex like my duty, because it was. It had to be for one of us and putting all the pressure on him was too much. I changed in other ways too. I was always a giver so I started to take on little things for him. Errands or taking care of the bill paying. I did most of the housework. In just a few weeks there was such a fundamental shift in our relationship. He was so attentive and in the relationship. It got to the point just saying let's get ready for bed would give him a hard on. A lot of people may disagree with me but you are a hot top with a big dick. You need a man who wants to work to keep you, not a man who wants an open relationship or random hookups.

by Anonymousreply 85June 28, 2022 1:37 PM

mate welcome! it’s quite good on this side🤗

by Anonymousreply 86June 28, 2022 3:10 PM

[quote] I would never ever let my man go to bed with out sex. At the very least I would blow him but I was always ready for anal and if I initiated it I did the work. The same went for the morning. I would never let him wake up and leave the bed with out a blow job and even the occasional anal i the morning too.

Even men get bored of daily sex.

Plenty would choose to forgo, if it meant a guarantee they’d wake up to a stack of cash, top-shelf kush to smoke, or a gourmet steak dinner every day instead.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 87June 28, 2022 3:18 PM

Virginity and celibacy are not the same thing, at least to most of us.

by Anonymousreply 88June 28, 2022 3:31 PM

Sex is so primal and low level type of satisfaction. I have been celibate mostly because I can’t get any. Just find a hobby. That will be more fulfilling.

by Anonymousreply 89June 29, 2022 12:25 PM

We fellated our gorgeous 4th husband's magnificent nine inches every night at bedtime, swallowing every delicious drop of man juice!

by Anonymousreply 90June 29, 2022 12:40 PM

OP,

Celibacy does rewire your body in a major way. If you were triggered by your childhood sexual abuse, and acted out in a way that didn't work for you, your feeling to stop for a while could be your body's way of healing.

Then you may approach sex in a new way and attract a different partner.

by Anonymousreply 91June 29, 2022 12:45 PM

R91=fish

by Anonymousreply 92June 29, 2022 12:46 PM

R92=Whale

by Anonymousreply 93June 29, 2022 1:41 PM

So many people just let their dicks do all the thinking. Sex is one of the lowest forms of satisfaction yet people see, addicted to the fleeting pleasure.

by Anonymousreply 94June 29, 2022 1:51 PM

OP how about a middle-ground?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 95June 29, 2022 1:55 PM

Why not disregard the cold mechanics of the sexual experience for a time? Perhaps you might take a more spiritual approach to your sexual encounters in such a way that you become attuned and therefore elevated to the notion of mingling your essential spiritual energy with that of your partner through that sexual experience. Perhaps it will become more meaningful and worthy of appreciation when you redefine it. 😇

by Anonymousreply 96June 29, 2022 11:18 PM

How do you ‘try’ celibacy? Either you’re fucking or you’re not. Unless masturbation or p0rn watching is a grey area counted as sex?

by Anonymousreply 97June 30, 2022 9:53 AM

People who are against celibacy are basically sex addicts that are no different than alcoholics and heroin junkies. Many have a physical addiction to sex and society just looks the other way. Celibacy opens your mind and frees from the addiction of sex.

by Anonymousreply 98June 30, 2022 12:32 PM

I'm not a sex addict R98, I just don't see why anyone would voluntarily deny themselves one of life's greatest pleasures. It serves no benefit in my opinion, and could potentially be quite damaging. I think if people genuinely have a sexual disorder of some kind or are constantly putting themselves into risky sexual scenarios, then a brief period of celibacy until they can learn how to have a healthy sex life is ok, but long term celibacy just seems like unnecessary punishment to me.

by Anonymousreply 99June 30, 2022 3:45 PM

OP, I’d like an update. How is this going, hon?

by Anonymousreply 100June 30, 2022 3:47 PM

OP, De Facto seems like a nice guy, instead of celibacy, why don't you try with him.

by Anonymousreply 101June 30, 2022 6:27 PM

I have found in my short life men are ruled by sex. Keep them happy and they don't stray. At least it works for me. Trust me I don't want to blow him every morning and evening either...sometimes a guy wants to sleep in but it is what it is. As a former serial cheater - I can tell you that gets old. It's never the sex, it's the chase. When I would finally land a piece was left wondering in the middle of sex, why did I even do this?

by Anonymousreply 102June 30, 2022 6:35 PM

OP - I have a tight hole and go do magical things with balls. I also have no gag reflex.

by Anonymousreply 103July 1, 2022 6:35 AM

R92=molested in childhood/still blames her mother for it

by Anonymousreply 104July 1, 2022 11:46 AM

Amazing how triggered some people get when abstaining from sex is mentioned.

by Anonymousreply 105July 1, 2022 11:47 AM

[quote] I am a good looking top guy with 8.5 inches.

Oh yes, there's thousands of you on Grindr at any given time. None of whom have clear and full pics.

by Anonymousreply 106July 1, 2022 12:09 PM

[quote]I just don't see why anyone would voluntarily deny themselves one of life's greatest pleasures

So is heroin and lashing out on someone, but do we do that? No.

by Anonymousreply 107July 1, 2022 12:17 PM

R105 it makes no sense. I would expect the same kind of situation as one who does not choose to have kids. So what?

by Anonymousreply 108July 1, 2022 12:19 PM

I think Gen Z is starting to adopt this. I hope this movement continues.

by Anonymousreply 109July 2, 2022 1:37 PM

[quote]I am a good looking top guy

You're not.

[quote]with 8.5 inches.

You don't.

[quote]I have had sex with well over 1,000 men since I was 19 years old. Cruises, Grindr, traveling, etc.

You haven't.

[quote]I don’t consider myself any kind of sex addict,

You are.

[quote]it’s just plentiful

It's not.

[quote]and I’ve had LOTS of it.

You haven't.

by Anonymousreply 110July 2, 2022 1:51 PM

[quote] I don’t consider myself any kind of sex addict, it’s just plentiful and I’ve had LOTS of it.

Lots of what? STIs? I imagine so.

by Anonymousreply 111July 2, 2022 2:19 PM

R110 you are one very jealous and bitter bottom.

Just ignore the haters, OP. I support you, babe ❤️

by Anonymousreply 112July 3, 2022 10:26 PM

Op, you forgot to add that you look like you’re in your mid twenties…

by Anonymousreply 113July 3, 2022 10:32 PM

De-Fug-to, please stop sucking up to the OP, just suck him off instead.

by Anonymousreply 114July 3, 2022 10:59 PM

Have you tried watching 80s Menudo videos? They are really erotic. I bet you have.

by Anonymousreply 115July 3, 2022 11:16 PM

I'm a tall, muscular bottom with a velvet hole. Some say I'm gorgeous, but most say I am stunning. I'm humble so I'll just go with devastatingly handsome. I have an 8.5in cock that bounces while getting pounded and a hole that can milk 2 loads in one fuck session, maybe 3 or 4. Also, I cum fountains while getting fucked. I've had a least 2000 loads in my hole (if you count the first 1000 that were in condom pre-prep when I was a gayling in the early aughts). Some people say, "you are so hot and everyone wants to fuck you, but aren't you worried about your hole." This gave made me think. Is keeping my hole constantly stuffed a substitute for the emptiness that I feel? Is that firm grip I keep on a raw cock after it's cum in me really me just trying to control life, to hang on to the past? I've decided that I'm never going to love again. A guilty hole with too much rhythm. Anyway, gurls, you can bring your men out again, because this gorgeous bottom has hung up my shower douche and going celibate

by Anonymousreply 116July 4, 2022 6:54 AM

Yuck r116. That’s revolting 🤮

by Anonymousreply 117July 4, 2022 6:56 AM

Your hole can't hold onto a fart, DeFacto. You would't get it.

by Anonymousreply 118July 4, 2022 7:01 AM

Damn, OP! I was so looking forward to meeting your hot, gorgeous self this summer!

by Anonymousreply 119July 4, 2022 8:24 AM

I can never understand how people who have multiple, random sexual partners over a period of years avoid contracting an incurable disease, being robbed or beaten up.

OP, sexually speaking, you've been eating fast food for a long period. Time to step up to some fine dining. Use your looks, relative youth, and sexual prowess to attract a quality partner.

by Anonymousreply 120July 4, 2022 9:28 AM

R116 = Literally analy retentive male Blanche Devereaux

by Anonymousreply 121July 4, 2022 10:41 AM

DeFuckto is another of poo shoes' alts, and the subject matter of this thread - anti gay anti sex concern trolling - is typical PS, as is PS talking to herself in her EST threads.

by Anonymousreply 122July 4, 2022 11:24 AM

^ DeFacto posted a clip of his voice in a recent thread called, "Does my voice sound gay?" or something like that, and it did sound like a gay man.

by Anonymousreply 123July 4, 2022 11:42 AM

R123, PS/DeFacturd/etc posts all sorts of shit and LARPs as any number of (fake) people. It's in her failed Hollywood genes. There's no solid proof that the voice you heard was of DeFacto herself.

by Anonymousreply 124July 4, 2022 6:39 PM

R120, I've far outpaced EST OP in the body count department. It comes down to a few very basic things: Sex drive and partner availability. I am horny a lot, an attractive top, and live in a metro with lots of sex opportunity. My body count has to be 3000+ at this point.

Nobody wants to admit the elephant in the room, which is that fuck apps have made it nearly impossible to create and sustain relationships. Everybody is constantly on the prowl, constantly thinking there's something better behind the next profile. Not to mention the addictive game aspect of hunting for dick and ass online.

My attempts at relationships post-2010 - when apps really sunk their dirty fangs into people's sex habits - have been terrible. One fucked up person after another, or more frequently, married and cheating and wasting my time. People I think are promising are too aloof and things fizzle out, sometimes remaining friends, sometimes not. Current generational trends have turned a lot of online sexing into a sort of relentless prostitution roulette.

Oh, and I've never been robbed and never contracted an incurable disease. I have had chlamydia twice.

by Anonymousreply 125July 4, 2022 6:47 PM

R124 That is an awful lot of effort to go thru to fool a bunch of 60 year old bottoms. You are paranoid as fuck.

by Anonymousreply 126July 4, 2022 7:10 PM

Own the lies, R125.

Own the lies.

by Anonymousreply 127July 4, 2022 7:23 PM

Celibacy is the way. We need a bigger movement to raise awareness

by Anonymousreply 128July 5, 2022 3:44 PM

Celibacy is a valid option ... for uggos.

by Anonymousreply 129July 5, 2022 4:11 PM

I like chopped celibacy in my tuna salad.

by Anonymousreply 130July 5, 2022 10:56 PM

Op is a Nifty fantasy creation.

by Anonymousreply 131July 5, 2022 11:21 PM

I was just bred. I tried to stay celibate but I am addicted to cock and cum. It's who I am. I need seed.

by Anonymousreply 132July 6, 2022 6:14 AM

My mother used to put celibate in the potato salad but I never liked the aftertaste.

by Anonymousreply 133July 6, 2022 6:30 AM

R132, but how can you be such a bigot and discriminator? What if a guy doesn't have a cock and cum, but a nice clit?

by Anonymousreply 134July 6, 2022 6:43 AM

The power of cock compels you.

OP, you’re a standard, oversexed gay man. Honestly, I’m just as exhausted having read your post.

by Anonymousreply 135July 6, 2022 6:47 AM

Madame la Sénatrice @ R132, you forgot to sign your post. Also, how long did your attempted celibacy last - a whole afternoon?

by Anonymousreply 136July 6, 2022 7:58 AM

How about just being with a FB for awhile? Pick one you can actually talk to.

by Anonymousreply 137July 6, 2022 8:08 AM

[quote] I was just bred. I tried to stay celibate but I am addicted to cock and cum. It's who I am. I need seed.

How much did he charge you?

by Anonymousreply 138July 6, 2022 11:45 AM

No deposit, no return

by Anonymousreply 139July 6, 2022 11:50 AM

FYI:

OP is a lame Repug troll using a new account and trying to come off as a gay guy.

by Anonymousreply 140July 6, 2022 11:53 AM

What makes you think he's a Republican? Doesn't sound like one to me.

by Anonymousreply 141July 6, 2022 11:56 AM

Yeesh. Get a fucking hobby. Maybe knitting. You can open up a back alley abortion clinic on the side since you’ll have the needles.

by Anonymousreply 142July 6, 2022 12:00 PM

R141, from another thread the OP is posting in:

[quote] I know most of you are Liberals but my God, you’re so STUPID. Gavin Newsom has completely fucked up CA, been revealed to be an absolute hypocrite when it comes to the COVID stuff, and he knows all he has to do is attack DeSantis (who has been unfairly smeared as antigay), and you people will eat it up.

by Anonymousreply 143July 6, 2022 12:00 PM

R142, your mum should've poked those knitting needles up her putrid snatch when she was pregnant with you.

by Anonymousreply 144July 6, 2022 12:01 PM

I am a gay man that loves cock and cum. The problem is that no man wants me to drain them unless they are obese or over the age of 55. So I am forced to practice celibacy.

by Anonymousreply 145July 6, 2022 12:11 PM

OP, why don't you just go fuck yourself?

by Anonymousreply 146July 6, 2022 12:19 PM

R144 - why so hostile? My post was for the OP. Not everything is about you, you know.

by Anonymousreply 147July 6, 2022 12:21 PM

Try the spinach artichoke dip instead, OP!

by Anonymousreply 148July 6, 2022 1:25 PM

[quote]I'm Trying Celibacy

Oh, are you, Leper Boy?

by Anonymousreply 149July 6, 2022 1:47 PM

I have stirins and urgins that need fixin.

by Anonymousreply 150July 7, 2022 6:06 AM

OP sounds like a catch. I can just tell.

by Anonymousreply 151July 8, 2022 1:20 PM

I fell off the wagon, again, and found my way on to a cock after a few too many drinks. I shower, my hole aching, my head pounding and I wonder why. I love that full feeling.

by Anonymousreply 152July 11, 2022 6:25 AM

Good for you, Op. With your break, the CDC has a fighting chance.

by Anonymousreply 153July 11, 2022 6:39 AM

OP here. Not only did I not go celibate, I’m having more sex than I have in awhile. Geez I rly gotta slow down. I have a tendency to go from 100 to zero then back again. You guys that suggested that I slow down and not completely stop were on point. I think I’m gonna do that. I was just getting outrageously horny because of all the lifting I’m doing lately and I’m back in NYC for the summer and Jesus sex is just fucking EVERYWHERE.

Perhaps trying out celibacy in my first summer back in NYC in awhile with the best body I’ve had in years was too heavy a lift.

But since this is an anonymous board, I’m gonna be honest: I think I may have a minor, curable STD (likely Chlamydia I’ve had it before and know the symptoms) so I’m gonna get that checked out today, get a full panel, and take this as an opportunity to check the fuck out of the sex stuff for a bit.

I am not a sex addict, I’m just a sexual guy who gets a lot of attention and I need to learn how to rein it in. The issue is I don’t WANT a relationship right now I want something casual but when I have casual things they start wanting more. So it’s easier to just have hookups. I don’t want anyone needing or wanting anything from me right now.

So Tired Top Guy is gonna chill the fuck out, give this big old dick a rest, and focus on some other things for the next few weeks or so.

by Anonymousreply 154July 11, 2022 12:21 PM

Lilibet married a glamorous man and is delighted to meet one.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 155July 11, 2022 12:34 PM

OP, you are incurable whore, you made us pat your head and console you, while you never meant to change your behavior.

by Anonymousreply 156July 11, 2022 12:39 PM

It sucks but it takes a lot of perseverance to stop being a filthy whore and focus your energies on something productive instead of getting laid all the damn time.

by Anonymousreply 157July 11, 2022 12:41 PM

[...]

by Anonymousreply 158July 11, 2022 12:49 PM

R158- He only puts the undesirables at the bottom of his shoe 👞- ie the FEMS and the FATS

by Anonymousreply 159July 11, 2022 1:06 PM

So, do you think that we must find OP a woman. Maybe one of DL fraus would take him?

by Anonymousreply 160July 11, 2022 1:24 PM

I recently read a book by a gay psychotherapist called "out of the shadows" that addresses all this perfectly. gay men have a very hard time connecting emotionally and this is a result of all our traumas. so that means most sex between gay men is emotionless, essentially using each other as sex toys. sounds like you're sick of this situation OP. we as gay men need to a better job of healing collectively

by Anonymousreply 161July 11, 2022 2:30 PM

R160 ooo we can play Frau matchmaker.

by Anonymousreply 162July 11, 2022 3:19 PM

R154 congrats, babe. Glad you are looking good and feeling good and that you are enjoying a fulfilling sex life. You sound so in control.

by Anonymousreply 163July 11, 2022 3:20 PM

We agree, OP. Sex is for procreation ONLY. Otherwise, lust is a sin.

by Anonymousreply 164July 11, 2022 3:24 PM

R154- Why aren't you living in NYC full time and where do you live when you're not in NYC?

by Anonymousreply 165July 11, 2022 3:51 PM

[...]

by Anonymousreply 166July 11, 2022 4:23 PM

OP, it's the height of foolishness to try to get therapy from a Datalounge thread. So foolish it almost makes me wonder whether you're having us on.

by Anonymousreply 167July 11, 2022 4:25 PM

R155 What kind of nonsense is Justin babbling to her, I wonder.

by Anonymousreply 168July 11, 2022 4:29 PM

I'm extremely gorgeous and have a killer body, and when you add to that my luscious fat pendulous cock, it's a little ridiculous almost. When I parade around the locker room at the gym, I get tired of the smoldering lust in the looks of all the men there. Can't they look at someone else? It's almost enough to make me want to shower with my Speedos on, but some of them seem turned on by that as well.

by Anonymousreply 169July 11, 2022 4:43 PM

Celibacy makes brain function better overall. Makes you act less barbaric too.

by Anonymousreply 170July 12, 2022 12:30 PM

You’re choosing celibacy at 40? You’ve gotta get back in the game. All the best are already taken. Lower your expectations and you’ll do okay.

by Anonymousreply 171July 12, 2022 12:31 PM

r154 call me. I don't want a relationship either.

by Anonymousreply 172July 14, 2022 2:53 PM

"I'm Trying Celibacy" - Oh, you are not, OP! You cheap $2.99 discount whore!

by Anonymousreply 173July 14, 2022 6:07 PM

OP, I believe in your celibacy about as much as I believed in Morrissey's.

by Anonymousreply 174July 14, 2022 8:42 PM

[quote] I’m having more sex than I have in awhile. Geez I rly gotta slow down.

We understand OP, hand cramps and chafing are no fun at all.

by Anonymousreply 175July 14, 2022 10:07 PM

[quote]OP: I’m Trying Celibacy

Yes you are. Very trying.

by Anonymousreply 176July 14, 2022 10:30 PM

OP are you cut or uncut?

White or Bipoc?

by Anonymousreply 177July 15, 2022 2:00 AM

Perfect thing to do during this monkeypox outbreak.

by Anonymousreply 178July 23, 2022 3:35 PM

How is it working by now, op???

by Anonymousreply 179July 23, 2022 3:46 PM

One thousand sex partners by the age of 40? I know that is the norm, but think about it. No wonder we get HIV, monkeypox, etc.

by Anonymousreply 180July 23, 2022 3:54 PM

I'm trying Cellebrex!

by Anonymousreply 181July 24, 2022 12:02 AM

He's trying celibacy. For two weeks, or for however long it takes for the carbunkles to lessen.

by Anonymousreply 182July 24, 2022 12:17 AM

OP - Are you really trying celibacy, or has it simply been foisted upon you? There are gay incels too, you know.

by Anonymousreply 183July 24, 2022 6:03 PM

Tired Top Guy, unless you supply photographic evidence of your rocking hot bod and huge throbbing cock, nothing you say matters to these bitches.

by Anonymousreply 184July 25, 2022 8:59 AM

I am Celibate and sure am glad during this Monkeypox outbreak!!!

by Anonymousreply 185July 25, 2022 1:22 PM

About time OP

by Anonymousreply 186July 25, 2022 10:22 PM

I remember when "celibacy" was the craze in the mid- to late-70s. I was young and used to watch Merv, Mike Douglas, etc. Dyan Cannon said she was becoming celibate. Cybill Shepard were becoming celibate. Elizabeth Ashley became celibate. A bunch of others, too. It was just a fad, like a fad diet. I'm sure they all jumped back on the pole or the hole as soon as it got boring.

by Anonymousreply 187July 27, 2022 3:22 AM

Good for you, OP.

Healing is so important. I’m happy for your thoughtful decision.

It takes lots of self awareness and humility to want to heal and change.

I wish you the best, and please keep us posted and let us know how you’re doing. ❤️

by Anonymousreply 188July 27, 2022 3:27 AM

[quote] Tired Top Guy, unless you supply photographic evidence of your rocking hot bod and huge throbbing cock, nothing you say matters to these bitches. -UKGuy

Would you please tease us with photos again. Your cock, your body, you location - it's everything that I want in me. The UKGuy is the real deal - I remember those photos and that beer can cock.

Is it getting warm in here or is it monkeypox?!?!??

by Anonymousreply 189July 27, 2022 3:30 AM

Yes. When I was in the army for 4 years during don’t ask don’t tell

by Anonymousreply 190July 27, 2022 3:32 AM

I tried that one time. Then I stopped after s couple of months. Spring was on the horizon and I had these urges.

by Anonymousreply 191July 27, 2022 3:48 AM

This ain't the airport, baby. No need to announce arrivals or departures.

Just do whatever works for you.

by Anonymousreply 192July 27, 2022 3:54 AM

I gave in...again. Cum just keeps finding its way in.

by Anonymousreply 193July 27, 2022 3:56 AM

Cum is free

by Anonymousreply 194July 27, 2022 4:04 AM

[quote]Yes. When I was in the army for 4 years during don’t ask don’t tell

Silly me who believed the tales that army is such a brothel.

by Anonymousreply 195July 27, 2022 6:40 AM

R189, link to photos of the beer can cock please! Doing a search on DL now but no luck so far.

by Anonymousreply 196July 27, 2022 7:55 AM

You're a whore, darling. Welcome to the club,

by Anonymousreply 197July 27, 2022 8:04 AM

OP has the monkeypox. He'll be back out whoring his sorry ass and unconfirmed 8.5 inches by mid August.

by Anonymousreply 198July 27, 2022 8:36 AM

I've searched myself R196 but I can't find it either, I suppose it will just have to live on in the memory/wank bank of the DLers who caught it the first time around.

by Anonymousreply 199July 27, 2022 10:54 AM

Give celibacy a chance

by Anonymousreply 200July 27, 2022 11:54 AM

R199 is now 68 and hasn't had a hard-on since the Spice Girls were a Christmas No.1.

by Anonymousreply 201July 27, 2022 12:16 PM

You're off by 30 years R201 and I'm often hard so you're wrong about everything really. If all you have to offer is an anonymous 'attempt' at a take-down, please reassess your life choices because your dysfunction is showing.

by Anonymousreply 202July 27, 2022 2:16 PM

R202 "I'm often hard"...

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 203July 27, 2022 2:22 PM

Your prostate needs action, op. Don’t be foolish. Maybe becoming a solosexual is a better option?

by Anonymousreply 204July 27, 2022 3:05 PM

R204 - Being a Solosexual is Han's down the best!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 205July 27, 2022 10:07 PM

You seem like a spaz, OP.

by Anonymousreply 206July 28, 2022 9:43 PM

Now that OP is celibate, is he responsible for that thread on wacky/creative ways to have a wank? An electro fleshlight was mentioned.

by Anonymousreply 207July 28, 2022 9:46 PM

^ Oh honey, he did more to it than mention it. (shudder)

by Anonymousreply 208July 28, 2022 11:27 PM

Since I’ve been celibate (mainly because no gay man wants to touch me) I have felt like a weight is lifted off my shoulders. Instead of obsessing about why I am not desirable to others, I can focus on doing other things that make me happy.

by Anonymousreply 209August 5, 2022 12:34 PM

I don't think it's your body gives out so much as your mind and your soul. When you stop seeing it as fun or you start seeing the people with you as less than, phhhht... celibacy is a symptom.

by Anonymousreply 210August 5, 2022 12:36 PM

[quote] I am a good looking top guy with 8.5 inches

The fact that you mentioned this before anything else speaks volumes.

by Anonymousreply 211August 5, 2022 12:49 PM

I’ve been celibate since Covid

by Anonymousreply 212August 6, 2022 7:12 AM

Oops, I did it again - gave into my animalistic urges and accidentally let myself be bred. I think about cock 24/7 and try as I might, I cannot remain celibate. This guy was barely 8in but I need him in me balls deep. I only feel complete and appreciated after a man has ejaculated in me. When will I ever learn???????

by Anonymousreply 213August 6, 2022 9:40 AM

Yawn

by Anonymousreply 214August 6, 2022 10:05 AM

' I only feel complete and appreciated after a man has ejaculated in me. When will I ever learn???????'

Perhaps when you catch monkeypox you'll stop your whoring.

by Anonymousreply 215August 8, 2022 2:33 AM

Sex is overrated.

by Anonymousreply 216August 8, 2022 4:32 AM

I’m celibate not by choice. Can’t find any to fuck around with

by Anonymousreply 217August 8, 2022 5:30 AM

Any updates OP?

by Anonymousreply 218August 8, 2022 12:26 PM

He bought his last trick home and ended up like Theresa Dunne.

by Anonymousreply 219August 9, 2022 5:50 PM

Celibate! Rhymes with "celebrate"!

by Anonymousreply 220August 9, 2022 5:53 PM

I think the OP got celibate confused with Chaturbate.

by Anonymousreply 221August 9, 2022 10:37 PM

Like what r208? McDonald’s?

by Anonymousreply 222August 9, 2022 11:31 PM

Celibacy is the way. Just masturbate. Sex with other people is overrated and risky.

by Anonymousreply 223August 10, 2022 12:36 PM

People need to start considering people who have sex frequently similarly to drug addicts. It is almost the same.

by Anonymousreply 224August 15, 2022 12:27 PM

Everyone should try this. It is a journey of purity of the soul.

by Anonymousreply 225August 29, 2022 12:33 PM

Sex is overrated

by Anonymousreply 226August 29, 2022 8:05 PM

R226 - And overpriced!

by Anonymousreply 227August 29, 2022 10:12 PM
Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 228August 30, 2022 1:48 PM

^Appropriately named Robert Palmer

by Anonymousreply 229August 30, 2022 3:06 PM

It’s a liberating experience not relying on such low forms of pleasure. I have always been invisible to the gay community no matter what I did. Now I live life on my terms with my rules.

by Anonymousreply 230August 31, 2022 12:28 PM

Sometimes I wonder where I've been, Who I am, Do I fit in. Make believein' is hard alone, Out here on my own. We're always provin' who we are, Always reachin' For that risin' star To guide me far And shine me home, Out here on my own. When I'm down and feelin' blue, I close my eyes so I can be with you. Oh, baby be strong for me; Baby belong to me. Help me through. Help me need you. Until the morning sun appears Making light Of all my fears, I dry the tears I've never shown, Out here on my own. But when I'm down and feelin' blue, I close my eyes so I can be with you. Oh, baby be strong for me; Baby, belong to me. Help me through. Help me need you. Sometimes I wonder where I've been, Who I am, Do I fit in. I may not win, But I can't be thrown, Out here on my own,

by Anonymousreply 231August 31, 2022 1:48 PM

I remember when I was a little girl, our house caught on fire. I'll never forget the look on my father's face as he gathered me up In his arms and raced through the burning building out to the pavement. And I stood there shivering in my pajamas and watched the whole world go up in flames. And when it was all over I said to myself, "Is that all there is to a fire" Is that all there is, is that all there is If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing Let's break out the booze and have a ball There's more if you want to read it:

by Anonymousreply 232September 1, 2022 3:10 AM

Just calm down. Lay low for a while and do something else. Beat off first thing in the morning so you get it out of the way. Then after a while keep your eyes open for gay men that aren't in a the sex party/perfect body scene. I'll bet you meet some interesting men that you might click better with.

by Anonymousreply 233September 1, 2022 3:16 AM

Do. Or do not. There is no try.

by Anonymousreply 234September 2, 2022 12:08 AM

I hit the exact same point when I was about thirty-six (and about 300 sexual partners total). It was sort of fun at times, but as an overall pursuit it proved exhausting and a bit tedious.

That was about twenty years ago. I've had sex a handful of times, but I've never prioritized it again like I had before. I've been much happier, and the fact is, you more or less age out of the system anyway, so it was all fine.

by Anonymousreply 235September 2, 2022 12:16 AM

I don’t have sex for the numbers and I’ve lost count. I’m just horny all the time

by Anonymousreply 236September 2, 2022 3:20 PM

OP here (for real). This was…um…not successful. This was the horniest summer of my life and I went to Europe for a bit in August and things really took a turn.

I’m not a sex addict, just a hot dude who gets really horny in an era where sex is very easy to come by.

So this is on me. I actually am stopping for a bit, seriously. I’m about to start a Whole30 (look it up) right after Labor Day, and I’m incorporating abstaining from sex, porn, and masturbation in with all the clean food and no alcohol stuff.

Coincidentally, I watched a movie on Netflix last night about sex addicts called Thanks For Sharing (Mark Ruffalo, Goop, and Pink) and it was very insightful about addiction and the process. Again, not an addict, but it was very interesting.

Thx for all the support, and wish me luck on the journey. I’m not even going to abstain from sex forever, I just need to figure out a way to attach emotion to it or at least save it for emotion. Too much empty sex is not good, no matter what our body and porn obsessed culture tells us.

by Anonymousreply 237September 3, 2022 12:21 PM

^can you pity fuck me before you start to abstain again

by Anonymousreply 238September 3, 2022 12:30 PM

R238 is not very discerning. You might at least want to see a current photo first.

by Anonymousreply 239September 3, 2022 12:31 PM

[quote]Sometimes it's okay to just work on yourself.

Pics please.

by Anonymousreply 240September 3, 2022 12:39 PM

So how many men did you fuck in Europe? What a hoe. I hope you are on Prep.

by Anonymousreply 241September 8, 2022 10:17 PM

It beats being a Traumasexual!

by Anonymousreply 242September 8, 2022 10:26 PM

R230 🙄 ok spill. What do you do for fun instead of having sex and flirting and fucking and sucking and taking baths together and engaging in 69s and taking dick on your ass?

by Anonymousreply 243September 8, 2022 11:15 PM

^sleep

by Anonymousreply 244September 9, 2022 11:22 AM

We're still waiting for that pic OP, of your hot body and huge dick specifically.

by Anonymousreply 245September 9, 2022 11:49 AM

I'm on your beam OP (no pun intended). I'm 69 years old. My sex drive was on super overdrive from the age of 18 until my mid 50s. Your 1000 sex partners would be a spit in the bucket compared to my almost 40 years of action. But there came a time when my libido started to decrease rapidly. In a one year span I went from a ravenous sexual appetite to almost none. And frankly I was elated. I finally could wake up every day and not think about sex as my first thought for the day, all day, every day. No more going out on the hunt. No more chancing the possibility of ended up with a dread disease, even though I only played safe and never once took it up the duff. I could actually focus on other things. Life became infinitely more peaceful.

Now, the thought of having to go through the process of wooing someone for some action is completely foreign to me. I really couldn't care less if I never have sex again. But then, I'm 69 and in today's gay sexual climate I've been a walking corpse for 20 years.

by Anonymousreply 246September 9, 2022 12:01 PM

R246 - interesting. So did your sex drive drop off a cliff at 55?

by Anonymousreply 247September 10, 2022 4:48 AM

OP is a disgruntled lesbian

by Anonymousreply 248September 10, 2022 4:51 AM

Some of us are born to celibacy, others have celibacy thrust upon us.

by Anonymousreply 249September 13, 2022 10:24 PM
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