Signs that you're getting old

You're ignored.

You're constantly hit up by youngsters with parental issues and fantasies.

You can predict the weather more accurately than any radar by how your joints feel

They told you not to masturbate so much in your youth and now they want you to constantly get off and stick things up your bum.

^ for your health

When the music of your childhood is played on the oldies stations...

When it's become a chore to scroll down the dates on those sites that require age verification.

When you're approached by a young stud and your first thought is to smack him rather than fuck him.

When social justice starts to take a backseat because they're taking too much pork spending taxes out of your check

When every time you take a shit, you've got swing your scrotum over your shoulder to keep it out of the shitty water.

You sign up for the DL

When medical professionals are all younger than you are.

Chuckle. Your cute Op.

You find yourself bingeing The Love Boat on Paramount+ in order to see stars you actually recognize.

For me it was seeing the guy who I used to lust after in high school after about 25 years or so. We're the exact same age and when I saw him, I didn't recognize him at first, then when I realized who he was I thought to myself - damn he looks old. Then his kid came out and he was a carbon copy of his dad at his hottest and that's when I realized that I too am old.

When you still use your desk calculator and the 20 something customer rep on the other end of the phone asks what that noise is that you're making. Then they tell you they have never seen one.

You have no interest in platforms like TikTok or stars from YouTube

You don’t care about trans (beyond their healthcare and safety)

Pride seems like a hassle and mess so you pass on going

I can't be bothered.

Your stomach gets fatter and your butt gets smaller

r19 with acne and hair appearing in never before places...

You collect coupons and get pissed off about the places they don't offer you the senior discount.

I called a teenager “kiddo” yesterday.

Judge Judy ihas become your favorite tv show.

while you reserve a time and a place, you don't give two shits about trying to keep the peace when it comes to giving your opinions.

you've been around the block enough to understand that you don't get so hangup on the details when it comes to hooking up or seeking out relationships because anyone, anywhere, can be hot with the right social lubricants.

When you enjoy the music at the Dentist's office.

You become afraid of stairs. (not walking up them, walking down them)

potlucks, potlucks, potlucks.

r27 you enjoy going to the dentist, having naps and getting spanked.

Loud restaurants or bars are intolerable

You become very careful crossing the street

You ignore trolls here because life is too short

r17 I love you

The early 90s seem like last week instead of yesterday.

r32 They were. We've never been able to escape the 90s while the 80s, 70s, 60s could be condensed into more specific events, fads and trends. . . the 90s isn't so distilled. At most attempts to appear 90s looks more 80s and the younger gens either seem to believe that sitcoms are an adequate reflection of what it s about, confuse it with the 60s or believe they're the first to discover the totally unheard of and underground music of every major band of the decade...

R33 I like to believe that time actually stopped then, and that everything since has been a script for a show that wasn't picked up. And yes, seeing tweens wearing Nirvana shirts and imagining that they were some mystical group that spoke, er, mumbled for their generation is laughable. They had three good songs and one was a cover.

Every actor and singer you remember from your youth is dead or about to be.

You are clueless about 90% of the sayings, phrases, slang and acronyms you read/hear.

You have zero interest in social media.

Pride makes you grimace.

You’re falling in love with Jensen Ackles and are sure he will call you.

You consider yourself younger than Homer Simpson, but realize he is only supposed to be 39.

It no longer means anything that you are younger than Madonna.

You are shocked to learn people who graduated in 1992 are now considered old.

You would rather save money than get in an airplane.

All the sensations in your anus are gone.

You can't see to drive at night.

R32: Yes, until I do the math, the early 90's do seem like yesterday. About a week ago, the TV listings, included a showing of Prince's "Purple Rain" and David Bowie's, "Serious Moonlight", tours....both on PBS, complete with pledge drives. On a more serious note, I'm disabled and have to remind myself to walk slower, lest I fall. As much as I loved and was happiest going out, I really can't do big crowds anymore, I could lose my balance and fall.

You can remember when gay was an adjective and not a lifestyle.

People offer you their seats in buses and trains.

People in their fifties address you as "Sir".

You feel next to nothing during an orgasm.

You are referred to as a SENIOR

all your favorite music now has (remastered) after the title

r46 you were excited to be a senior in school but now murder stare anyone that says so and exclaim but all my friends think I don't look a day over __

Balls are hanging a lot lower.

Not caring about contemporary pop culture at all, and getting angry about what young people believe in.

When your friends that are your age post happy birthday to their 27 year old kids and you realize you’ve slept with guys younger than that recently and now you just want to crawl in a hole and die.

You don’t even have to ask for the Senior Discount on Tuesdays.

[quote]You don’t even have to ask for the Senior Discount on Tuesdays.

Oooh, that one happened to me at Walgreen’s when I was 47! I was equally outraged, embarrassed, and happy to have saved 7 bucks. 😖

If white, gay Asian men hit on you.

You’re older than the President.

The cool new song you started listening to on Pandora have been around 15 to 25 years.

R49? Same for my tits!

This started out as a semi- fun thread but changed quickly. Some of you biotches are just downright depressed.

Complaining about your money going to The Blacks.

You start thinking, ‘Aren’t Popes getting younger these days?’

The bus driver greets you as “Pops”’

When you entertain the notion that Mao's China was on to something with the Mao suit.

Because one day, it dawns on you the expensive clothes, both for work and fun, that you just HAD to have were then, and are now, nonsense.

Then, when you clean them or shake them out before you act your bright idea to donate them to the local charity that helps the unemployed or unhoused, you realize, in today's world, even they don't need this stuff.

They need, instead, the basics for all genders : socks, clean, still-packaged underwear, bras, winter mittens in child sizes and adult...

When the aphorism "It's better for me to want what I have, rather than have what I want" actually has real meaning.

Once a year a number attached to my age gets larger and time moves faster.

You start getting offers for hearing tests and hearing aids in the mail.

R6- The music 🎼 I loved as a kid was already being played on an oldies station- CBS-FM . I liked music from the 1960’s and early 1970’s when I was in high school in the 1980’s.

You start a thread on Datalounge about a current TV show you were just thinking about that actually ended 30 years ago.

R12- My doctor is 93 years old.

R67, if you want to live to 93 you better get a younger doc, lol.

Your favorite celebrities from when you were a kid are all dead or dying.

You get an AARP thing in the mail and you're horrified that you're getting an AARP thing in the mail.

People younger than you are already grandparents- YIKES- grandparents I still feel too young to be a parent.

When favorite rock and roll stars of my youth, are approaching 80 and over. Happy B'Day Paul McCartney....80 years old.

The Beatles wrote..."will you still need me, will you still feed me....when I'm 64?".....like that was ancient back then.

Idiopathic back pain.

R64 and you receive mail from independent living facilities.

You care more about Amazon stock than Amazon workers

None of your pre-COVID clothes fit anymore

Your parents are in their 80’s

You have no clue who 2/3rds of currently popular celebrities are. And you don't care.

When you hear Guns N' Roses "Sweet Child O' Mine" on the "easy listening" station that's playing in your dentist's waiting room.

You don't go out anymore because you order everything in.

The phone calls from Mom have stopped.

You leave the will on a table where it'll be easily found.

When your parents, if alive or dead today, would be near or over 100 years old now.

You start thinking oh well, if I go tomorrow I’ve had a pretty good ride, did lots of stuff. You feel sorry for anyone who grew up with the internet. You lament the loss of melody, harmony, and heartfelt lyrics in popular music.

People in their twenties look like kids to you

[quote] You get an AARP thing in the mail and you're horrified that you're getting an AARP thing in the mail.

Even worse, when you look inside and discover that all the articles are interesting to you.

When you have to put on your reading glasses to cruise Grindr.

You find Real Housewives more entertaining than today’s crop of insufferable “stars” (Viola Davis, Jennifer Lawrence, Scarlett Johansson, and Brie Larson).

When you realize that if "Grease" was made today, it would take place in 2004.

We are now at the same distance in time from the 1980s as the 1980s were from World War II. This thought makes you have to sit down for a minute.

Every pro athlete is much younger than the kids and babies you used to babysit.

[quote] This thought makes you have to sit down for a minute.

The thought that makes me sit down and have a mondo oh fuck! attack is that I've got another 20, 25 years on this planet. Then the party's over. I cease to exist. *POOF* Forever.

I'm gonna really, really, no REALLY miss not being alive.

You no longer are looking to score hot dick but are just grateful to be alive. A night at home - healthy and without worries - is a greater joy than a club or bar. Watching the sun rise or set is more spectacular than the best concert.

I know I’m old because all my favorite celebrities arent just old, they are dead

Pool parties are terrifying

You don’t know what the clothing style is now for gay men and don’t care

You pine for the good old days when they made studio movies for adults - you look at CGI, comic book films or family cartoons now playing, and you say never will I see these movies

R89 I think about dying the same way you do...I cant believe this is it. I’m going to be 67 and dont know how many good yrs I have left. The finality of death scares the shit out of me...never to be any more, for eternity OY!

R93 And here we sit on an anonymous gay board whinging about the finality of death instead of logging off, going out and cramming as much Life as we can in the time we have left.

You envy your mother, who lives in a chic retirement home, because it's so blessedly QUIET. Well, except for the hard of hearing, who have blaring TVs.

You look up the newish horror movie you've started watching, on imdb, and it's described as a period film (it's set in the 80s). You turn off the movie because nothing that happens in the film could scare you as much as what you've just learned.

Baaahahaaaa IKR?? R94. I would be out but it’s pouring in my part of Fl right now...a bit later its cocktails by the water. It's been hotter than hell here. I do better when it’s cold

R94. This IS life. Right here. Now. Don't you get it?

Growing old means you can finally stop seeking that "life" out there somewhere that really doesn't exist.

Someone tells you Lisa Kudrow and Courtney Cox are each 58 and you say that can’t be true.

You don't care anymore. You just don't care.

R97 Oh, uh. I guess we have different goals/expectations. My life is out there. Travelling, learning, experiencing. I've been in an 8 year procastination slump. But then, as you assert, THIS is life too. Such as it is.

You've finally got the time and the money to visit Bali, but no way in hell are you going to spend 24 hours traipsing through airports and sitting on planes to get there.

R96 And speaking of getting old and acronyms you are clueless about, IKR???

R101 Ubud is worth 24 hours on the plane and the traipse/sit. Trust me!

Since I’m 65, virtually every adult I idolized in my childhood is dead. Except Angela Lansbury.

Your teenage movie idols (Meryl, Sigourney, Harrison Ford and DeNiro) are all in their 70’s.

My childhood idols were Jack Benny, Bob Hope, and Red Skelton.

When you're home from work or running errands by 6pm, you're in for the night.

When a best friend that you used to visit on a near daily basis now lives too far. And neither of you has moved in the last 20 years!

Ubud?

You hear a whispered “Edina Monsoon” every time you browse Comme des Garcons

You no longer fight tan lines because your ass cleavage leaves crescents on your thighs

You know your’re a old crotchety fart when something as harmless as “IKR” upsets you so much you need to bring it up as R102 did

The good ol' days are the '80s and '90s.

When you hear yourself saying that today's music is not music just a bunch of noise. Then you remember your grandparents saying the exact same thing back in the 80s.

You know your’e becoming a miserable old twat when you start screaming at little kids when they dare to step on your lawn as R102

You're turning 34 for the 20th year in a row

Your body's tolerance for alcohol is just a memory now.

You see a guy you think is attractive, but then you realize you're probably old enough to be his father and he would have no interest in you.

[quote]You look up the newish horror movie you've started watching, on imdb, and it's described as a period film (it's set in the 80s). You turn off the movie because nothing that happens in the film could scare you as much as what you've just learned.

Conversely, you see a new movie or tv show that's set in the 80s and you say "the 80s didn't look like this. How the hell old was the set designer and costumer for this thing? They couldn't have been old enough to actually remember the 80s because everything is all wrong"

the hot 30 something guy worshipping your cock moans and calls you "daddy'.

That's funny R117. I was recently watching The Hardy Boys on Hulu. It is set in an 80s that never existed.

All the Google ads are tailored for erectile dysfunction and diabetes.

I have nothing to possibly contribute to this thread.

r119 I felt the same way about Wonder Woman 1984. And there was no excuse for that because Patty Jenkins is in her mid-fifties so she's definitely old enough to remember what 1984 actually looked like.

AARP mailings

You can remember when Madonna first became famous.

Not caring about other prople's opinions anymore! I dress, look, do what I want/how I want without hiding or apologizing. And in so doing, I finally found my true groove and style in my 40s/50s and get more play now than ever before (weight loss and looking younger helps too). Go figure! Wish I figured all this out 20-30 years ago, but better late than never!

*people's

Presbyopia sucks even more!

OP, if the celebs from your youth are doing arthritis ads, those boys are young enough to be your GRANDson.

You cum dust (if you even cum at all).

Yes, r117, have had that experience also. It reminded me of asking my parents if Grease was really what things were like when they were in school. It was a hard no.

The horror movie I never finished watching actually did a great job, I thought. It was filmed on 16mm. I thought it was actually an 80s movie before I looked it up.

R108 Ubud is a town in Bali. Great food, resorts and walks but touristy beyond any belief.

R130, is there some weird reason you're not saying the name of the movie?

You know all the Medicare rules by heart.

You go to more funerals than weddings.

Mock turtleneck is a respectable choice - like a crewneck that loves too much

Your muscle groups get jelous of one another; if you reach up for something with your right hand, you have to follow up with a stretch of your left as well.

You love the sound of your body’s joints cracking like walnuts at the beginning of a workout because that means the old machine is warming up like an old volvo.

If Madonna is still your favorite singer

You can still sing when brushing your teeth…..false teeth

r132, not weird, it's yet another sign I'm getting old - I forgot to add the title, "The House of the Devil."

[quote] You see a guy you think is attractive, but then you realize you're probably old enough to be his father and he would have no interest in you.

There are plenty of younger guys with daddy issues whether it be rejection or abandonement.

The cousin you went ice skating with just became a grandmother.

Grey pubes are a subtle hint

All the celebrity panelists on the Match Game re-runs you watch on Buzzr TV are dead.

"Star Trek: The Next Generation" (1987-1994) is now "Star Trek: The Senior Generation"

Most of your teachers from school are dead. The few who are still alive are older than dirt now.

Starting a DL poll where every option is pre-1990.

Your friends' children turn 18.

When others offer to help you cross the roads

When you take your latest twink out to eat, the server says "Sir, would you like a kids menu for your grandson?"

R86- How about this - Stockard Channing was so old in real life when Grease was filmed that she was actually a teenager in high school in 1958/59.

With Every breath you take, every move you make, every sound you make is a fart.

Whenever you sneeze, you pee a little or worse worry about wetness that might have seeped out the backend.

You have more hair on your big toe than your head

You roll your eyes at the obvious babyfags that infiltrated this thread to blame you for why their generation is full of fat tards emitting greenhouse gasses that don't vote or do something more proactive to change the world, learning from ou mistakes instead of repeating them in less exciting ways.

comparing aches and pains is a socially competitive team sport.

You can't even remember what year it was when you stopped listening to Top 40 radio (or whatever the fuck it's called now).

You have no idea if MTV is still around.

All of the adults from your childhood are dead.

You can't figure out why all the music in the world is now rap and hip-hop...bad rap and hip-hop, and it makes you wonder if the younger generation has lost their ability to hear.

(I don't think this is the same as the old 'what's that noise' because there is literally nothing else. There has literally been nothing new in over a decade. It almost feels like politically correct music listening presribed by the media creators to a generation that can't think for themselves. All the other music movements where the adult reaction was 'noise!' came from a place of rebellion against what you were supposed to listen to. This rap/hip-hop crap is all based on following exactly what you are told to listen to by corporate music and their paid social media influencers. It feels more rebellious to refuse to listen to it.)

r158 Rap and hiphop aren't bad but yes, like other forms of music.. many lack rhythm, flow, structure, even just a decent hook. There's two areas I see popular in the hostile takeovers of various genres is either it's iconoclastic cacophony (like how gutteral screamo took over heavy metal or electronic music is disjointed noise played at chipmunk speeds; things which otherwise destroy a genre with a flood of twerps that believe learning the basic fundamentals of music should be a crime) that instead of inventing something new seeks out to destroy the old or uninspired reboot by kiddies that come off as third rate impersonators. -- they're boxed and sold by dozens, pushed into comtemporary media without having to work for it. . . the bnefit is most of them don't make it beyond a single release but they're replaced with more of the same. They want the "life" but they don't want to put in the work, and like the former, many of them are against furthering their music education, if they have any at all...

I could admire something that jumps in to try but at the same time, the more frustrating bit is how fucking narrow minded they are about it..

One of the most common phrases I hear from them is "I believe in what's possible" which is said in disdain when I make suggestions.... as I'm usually being approached on this by kiddies that are looking for access for floating in peripehral of those they actually want to speak to. I'm just a fucking a roledex (yes, signs of being old when they have to look up what roledex means. Honestly, they usually think it's an expensive watch.)

To be fair, there's no reason to respect me on it at all and I don't respond to flatter nor guilt in those matters either. I'm not sure there's even 1 out of 100,000, that could handle touring with no budget... or understanding the financial sum of when you're awarded a high value contract of where the bulk of award goes to -- it's beyond frustrating trying to get them to understand business costs anxd how they need to protect themselves -- it goes even more to those in high risk categories for bias, discrimination and exploitation. . . as that's the crowd in even worse straits as most have a chip on their shoulders in regards to having to engage in social warfare.. which requires more finesse than being a triggered cunt.

which they seem to think working the festival circuit is having a single spot at one event for one day and that roughing it is staying in a 3 star hotel. And, if they achieve that, then they believe they've made it and don't have to do anything more than.

They just need to be at the right place, at the right time.,. hence, so many more aim for reality shows than open mic nights.

You can't get it thru to them that it's work and the reason so many end up on drugs isn't just the partying but that it's bloody stressful and physically demanding work with extensive overtime. That it will break you., You're working even when you're not working. You might have high points, even become an internationally recognized and then have nothing for years, if ever again.. -- they're unwilling to look at what people are doing during those low periods -- which for those desperate to stay as performers continue to tour without fanfare or support. Those willing to work on peripheral have to learn the formal side of music and the biz. You can make bank as a session musician, though a lot of times, you'll find yourself not being credited. Or getting more involved behind the scenes from biz to tech. Or thinking in advance about the kind of trad. day jobs that have pay well enough to support your endeavors but open enough schedules/gigs that it doesn't hurt your resume when you switch back and forth.

But as a crotchy ol' fug, my usual eyeroll is that none of these prissy little bitches have had to take a shit in a coffee can in the back of a van in 100 degree weather in front of bandmates and crew. It's my walked to school in the snow, both ways, uphill. . . Sisyphus rant.

The realization that the movie, Signs is 20 years old.

R159: I love "old school" rap - LL, Doug E Fresh, Salt n Pepa, Monie Love, Patra, Vanilla Ice, Public Enemy, Queen Latifa, MC Lyte, Busta Rhymes... HATE the new stuff! - too raunchy, explicit and unoriginal. But what does middle-aged me know?

I love Ed Sheeran and his white boy rap

Sold house and moved to condo so I don't have to shovel snow or mow lawn.

R159 That's a lot of words.

You don't bother starting threads anymore because you can predict the same bitchy responses

Yes r159 posted a lot of words. But they’re cherce, r164.

You don't know what a lizzo is and you don't care to find out.

When the list of people you don't like is longer than the list of people you do like.

Long hairs in and on the ears that sprout over night.

You think "all the music in the world is now rap and hip-hop."

You suddenly doze off for an hour mid-day.

You catch yourself in a nasty, bigoted thought. All those bullshit words are still there.

Those ugly tweedy reclining chairs that you see advertised for old folk suddenly seem like maybe a good idea. When I visit my mother who is 85 for the weekend the bath tub has a grab bar above it. I’ve actually started to use it when heaving myself out of the bath. If I knew I would never again have a visitor to my apartment I would get one for sure.

You click WW in this thread more than you have clicked WW in all threads this year.

Lace-up shoes no longer work for you.

80% of your thoughts are negative and bitter.

You realize Mom was right: You do miss her once she's gone.

No gay under 50 gets your John Waters, Nellie Oleson, or Mommie Dearest references.

I was born in 1958. The other day I realized that if I counted my age backward (I'm 63) from my birth, the year would be 1895.

"I've reached the age when I've seen more yesterdays than I will of tomorrows."

- Bill Clinton of his 50th birthday

That about sums it up for me.

R176- Oh honey, that was me at twelve.

When the end of World War II is half as close to your birth year as present day.

You sing to the music being played in the grocery store. I went food shopping on Sunday. They played "Stoned Love" and I damn near did a Soul Train line dance down the aisle! There was another Black woman in the aisle also enjoying the song. At one point, we were singing a duet and laughing. The White woman in the aisle just looked at us and kept going.

You check your 401k or other retirement funds on an almost daily basis and try not to cry at how much you've lost.

Friends call to make plans for dinner and you say yes, only you wish you'd said no. You really want to be home by 9 pm so you can watch a movie on TCM.

Scrolling to your birth year on websites. You realize how quickly the years REALLY have flown by as you keep going to find your birth year.

I'll be 60 on Thursday. Wednesday will be the last time I can check the "50-59" age bracket on surveys.

I met my friend in Junior high school in 1978. I do weird stuff like- If I met my friend in 1938 it would now be 1982- which demonstrates just how long ago 1978 was.

The cops you see are all too young for their jobs.

My collection of little hotel soap bars and shampoo bottles is going to outlast me.

You get tired of asking people to repeat themselves, so you just start nodding to everyone instead, hoping you're not agreeing to anything too bad or expensive.

Your parents are still alive and almost 100.

I always feel uncomfortable listening to modern pop music. It feels like I’m eavesdropping on two young people having an intimate conversation.

When you wear a short robe to take out the garbage and as you bend over to assemble the trash, the twins want to come out and say hi to the neighbors.

When you leave stuff on the floor until there’s more piled up (I.e. shoes, coins) because bending down to pick up stuff is a severely grunting chore.

When you can’t name one single artist being played on the pop/hot 100/top 40 stations.

When you can describe in full detail what you were wearing and who you went with to your first gay club, a Donna Summer concert, or your first day in college, but you can’t remember what you had for breakfast or if you brushed your teeth.

To R183, HAPPY 60TH BIRTHDAY (though it is Thursday) My 61th Birthday is Wednesday- I am amazed I lived past 25 yrs old. BTW, I always check the 50-59 age bracket on surveys (sometimes I check the 40 to 49 yr. box just to fuck up the survey).

My advise..."Don't sweat the small stuff"

Only knowing what day it is because of your pill case.

R193 So True! Long-term memory is great, but short-term memory is shot!!

Having to look at my cellphone to see what day and date it is. I have paper calendars to record appointments and such, but I cannot rely on them to determine what day it is, since that is THE question. Is it Tuesday, Friday?

The phone is always correct. 🎉

Thank you, R194! Happy Birthday to you, too! It's not that I never thought I'd be 60 but it is a bit of a head rush.

I usually don't work on my birthday and had planned to take a long weekend. But my coworker wanted to the week off to take his son and is son's friend (the kids are both 7) to Hersey Park or Lego Land or some other rugrat heaven. So I said I'd back him up and take care of his clients while he's away. My boss scheduled a "meeting" for Thursday morning at 9:30 am. Surprise, surprise!

What is a weekend?

When you say “What’s that?” more than 10 times a day.

I go to bed so much earlier, I want to eat at 5:00 so my food will have half a chance to be digested while I'm still in an upright position.

Mandatory 2 hr afternoon nap.

You become acutely aware when you go to a place when the entire hipster crowd is younger than not only you but your younger husband and neither of you fit that criteria.

Some of these younger people talk to you like it's a novelty. Gee whiz! These people know things and have lives! And they have the same tech as we do! (rolls eyes)

That going to bed on time and feeling good in the morning is better than staying up late partying and having a shitty hangover day, which your old self can't handle too well now.

Post-exercise, post-sex, post-vacation and post-guests are all things you plan for now. You need a buffer.

Every gay man in their 60s is really really lucky.

When you wonder if your kittens will outlive you

When you realize you've always played the shop girl who made something of herself, and your rotten crooked lawyer boyfriend who supplies the grease that makes this shitty movie business run, reminds you that you're not that little shop girl anymore.

You stop buying green bananas.

When you know the pharmacists at CVS by name. And they no longer need to ask for your birth date.

When you're in the checkout line and the clerk says, "Oh, great news! You qualify for our 'life experience' discount!"

I was going to post when every guy you masturbate to is over forty, but that's been the case for me since I was a teenager

The exact moment I felt older was when someone asked me what year the coin was that I was holding and I couldn't tell him

R211 ??? I don't get it. Who asks about the year of coins? Were you holding a dubloon?

R212 Eyesight, dear. The dates on coins are written in very small print.

R213- Any datalounge queen who uses dear in a sentence is GETTING OLD.

R214 You're catching on to the theme of this thread, honeybun.

Your colon insists on not functioning like when you were a teenager.

R215- Anyone who uses HONEYBUN in a sentence is turning into an old SOUTHERN queen.

R217 You're learning, punkin!

I had a great example to tell and it slipped my mind.

Night driving - you swear it’s the new street lights’ fault.

You go to the kitchen or another room for something but you forgotten what when you get there.

You feel good about the way you look standing up shirtless in front of the mirror … and then you sit down, when your collagen starved body decides to spread all over your middle.

R221 And do it two or three times until you finally remember what it is you want from or you're doing in that room.

Two words: hip replacement,

You don’t enjoy driving at night.

For the multi-linguals: you blank out in all languages, can't remember what the object is called in any language, including English.

You hear the word “hip” and being cool is not the first thing that comes to mind.

When someone call you senile.

When you can't fill out a form because the pull-down menu doesn't list your birth year.

You have one of these in almost every room. You’re even thinking of getting one for the car!

You start Googling old folks homes.

Oh my God, no. No way.

You have a drink. A big one.

Then fall asleep. Because it's so much better than lying there pondering what the future holds.

You stop reading books.

You find yourself tuning into the oldies radio stations.

You constantly return to shows like Buffy and pretend it's still the nineties. You dislike most popular music. Baristas stare at you like they think you're going to keel over when you order a coffee.

You keep talking about the good ole days

R231- You sound like a character in Andrew Holleran's latest book.

You don't recognize yourself in mirrors outside of your home.

This is a serious one:

I've noticed that I've lost my natural easy smile in photos and see that's true of a lots of elder people.

You do sit ups and other floor exercises every day but still have trouble getting up off the floor each time.

You decide it's finally time to call your sister, when you haven't spoken for 30 years after what she said to you at that picnic. But only because you can no longer remember her exact words.

See if you are going to die in within the next 10 years (for 50's and over only). I'm sure it is a load of bullshit though.

I did it multiple times with each leg and had no issues.

When you pull out of diving competitions for a year to rest and spend time with your family.

I can never tell if I'm having heart burn, constipation, heart attack or just overall body pain. I also don't sleep much anymore and it sucks.

Thanks r230. I ordered the Grabber Plus. There are so many to choose from.

r232, I've been using a Kindle since 2011, IIRC (I type IIRC a lot).

I'll order the kindle version, r236. Thanks for the reminder that the Holleran book is out. I'll order it today.

It used to be, when people would find out how old I am they would say "Wow! you look *at least* 10 years younger!" Nowadays, they usually whistle, and say, "That's IMPOSSIBLE!! You look like someone TWENTY-FIVE years younger than that!!"

Reading glasses tucked away all over the place. You can't do anything without them but you're always putting them down somewhere forgotten.

^Reading glasses, computer glasses, driving glasses, ad nauseam. AND you have to turn on every light in any room after sundown, to be able to feel like you aren't going blind.

R247 And they only sell 100w bulbs when you want 250w.

I turn 51 next month, and I'd say that's a pretty good sign.

I'm tired ALL day EVERYDAY

My partner is on a business trip, so I sent him a dick pic and noticed that I have a LOT of grey pubic hair. I immediately ordered a personal shaver from Amazon. Fuck that. He has light hair, so his are barely visible. Mine really stand out. I have been working 50-60 hour weeks, and I guess it’s taking a toll on my dick. I’m 42.

You accept that your hemorrhoids will now have to suffice as your G spot.

Gen Xers are now well into senior citizen territory. They can get the discount at McD's now. LOL. They are the thing they always hated. They survived the aids but will they survive facial wasting and bone loss.

R253- shut up

At least we can hold conversations, R253, and aren't married to our phones. Is your Meme giving you a GOOD time?

Getting out of the car can be a dangerous health hazard.

R38- Someone who was only 10 years old in 1992 is now FORTY.

Oh shut up, R38

R254 Are you supposed to be a Gen Xer, retard fuckhead. Shut up! is such a 5 years old comeback. Fucking cunt.

I wouldn't put too much confidence in R241's study.

[quote]The study sampled 1702 participants aged between 51 and 75. Two thirds of the cohort were men.

As usual, it oversampled men. All men, but especially old men who almost all seem to be shaped like a potato with toothpick legs, have balance issues. They also drop dead a lot once they are over 50.

Wriggling out of my skinny jeans each night can be treacherous!

The dick knows his business, but the whole prostate/colon/bladder cabal dictates my day as well as my diet.

What happened with popcorn, R262?

When you are out of fucks to give.

R244 as someone with a lot of back problems those grabbers are a lifesaver! I’d rather use them than risk throwing out my back bending over to pick something up. You can find good prices on Amazon. I even bought one with a little light at the end!

The kids start referring to you as sir or ma’am.

^The OLD people start referring to you as Sir or Ma'am

You're no longer steady enough on your feet to climb on a chair and change a light bulb.

I don’t remember how many men I’ve had sex with

You start realizing how your own country is based on feeding people's addictions nonstop. Booze, coffee, sugar, internet, gambling, etc. Why pay so much for a coffee when you can go home, put on slippers, make some, or even better, a nice cup of tea.

I've never liked buying coffee out. What I make at home, Peet's Major Dickason through a Melitta cone & filter, is so much better. I make one cup at a time.

This thread is depressing AF! Outside of reading glasses, graying hair and forgetfulness at times (fixed with Prevagen!), it is not THAT bad.

When 90% of the reviews you write on the IMDb are for films made before 1990, and 90% of the films you review made after 1990 you pan.

Does Prevagen really work? Is that the drug that Sas and her hubby hawk?

R274, 1 extra strength Prev chewable with a 120 mg Ginkgo cap works wonders for me!

You start noticing really hot beautiful young men at your club or gym who are totally inappropriate because of their age and because you are long time friends of their parents. This really becomes a problem in your late 50s.

You start noticing the selfishness of young people and how they seem to have all the warmth and fuzziness of ice cubes.

R221, That's how I know gotta stop using coke. I'm 33 and that happens to me quite often. 2 weeks strong guys.

r287. if you're 33 it's a bad sign that you're reading this thread.

R272 You keep telling yourself that…

When the music of your youth is being played, not in the oldies station, but in the classical music station.

Oh honey, R269, I could not remember that at 30.

When you can't find your reading glasses and they are not in their usual places. So you get in a panic looking all over for them. You start cussing and are on the verge of tears, close to having a nervous breakdown. Then a couple hours later, when you have to go pee, you see your reflection in the mirror and the were on top of your head the whole time.

You try to get on the interstate using the off ramp.

When you watch walkabout videos of places like Paris or Rome and think "Done that, no thanks!"

Your texts start looking like this and you,re too vision impaired to to notice..

I'm the one who has been meaning to get my eyes checked since before Covid. I will be out of town next week, but I am going in for an eye test the week after, promise.

R282- Sit down 🪑. We need to talk.

You're a WHORE darlin.

^autocorrect fixed some of it, but you get the idea. Double spaces between words, random periods midsentence, double periods at the end, and so on.

R284, oh my. You should not be driving anymore.

[quote]I don’t remember how many men I’ve had sex with

I reached that milestone at age 25

Your bulging Grave’s disease eyeballs are the only bulge you have left.

Your fingers feel stiff and swollen after typing for a few hours

R284, I am going to track down your IP address. You should be forbidden from driving. Pls make this easy on yourself.

[quote]My advise..."Don't sweat the small stuff"

My advice: learn how to spell correctly.

You are a slut, R290!

R295 And he wears it like a badge of honour.

Threading a needle becomes quite an achievement.

I'm on Data Lounge.

When your eyebrows start turning gray/silver/white

When the gayest part of your eyebrow decides to grow at a faster rate than your nose hair.

You can't stand the sound of music in any store- restaurant, Trader Joe's etc

R283: One time recently I was in a fury about not being able to find my reading glasses, and I reached the point where, all alone in my house, I started screaming "WHERE ARE MY READING GLASSES?!!" I suddenly became aware that I was actually holding them in my left hand. For real...

^ So done that, although they were hanging from the collar of my t-shirt, where I usually put them so I won't forget where they are....

The shock of learning, whatever you do, no matter what you imagined or what you ignored, the body and brain actually do start to slow down.

The lyrics to The Man that Got Away are actually a great allegory for aging, and particularly so for the gay man.

R304, I recently did something similar with the iPhone. I put it on the table, went to get some water and, when I came back, I couldn't find it. The screen had gone dark it does and it was on a dark table. I wasn't gone that long though! I shouldn't have misplaced it.

The owner has installed a Nest thermostat in your AirBnB and you can’t fucking figure out how to override the owner's settings.

We know what you mean, Miss r290!

We recently tried to count our ex-husbands,,,,the number came to 7!

Did I already say this? Every year my date from birth years increase. This means I am getting older.

I used to belong to an outdoors group in NYC called Sundance- I've very recently rejoined but have not been on an outing yet) I would go to these Sundance parties- The Christmas party and or the Sundance Anniversary party and these queens that I never met would be so NASTY towards me for no reason. This happened a number of times. I understand now. They were over the hill and were FURIOUS that they couldn't attract men anymore or at least guys that they were attracted to. They took it out on me- not that I was some sort of SUPER stud but I was considerably younger and more attractive than them. I stopped going to those parties/gatherings because I did not want to be the victim of their VENOM. I'm trying to avoid that kind of bitterness myself nowadays. I don't want to become a BITTER OLD QUEEN like the ones I used to encounter at Sundance. Unfortunately there are PLENTY of bitter old queens here on datalounge too.

Discovering that I'm 10 years older than some bald, decrepit old geezer newscaster I'd been referring to as "that old news guy."

All my public hairy has fallen out.

The hair on my head remains as thick as ever, ditto under my arms but my bush is gone and I'm not even 60.

R311 why is your pubic hair public. Your such a whore.

^My nephews have ragged me for shaving my legs for years because they went stone bald years ago.

Huh OP? Get the fuck off my social media!!

You enjoy peace and quiet

When the gray pubes are starting to outnumber the brown ones.

When the salesclerk recommends a particular item because it’s the one his parents like

Give us an example, R317.

You get together with friends... and end up discussing politics.

All the little things you need to do to keep your life in order start to seem like a big chore. And you begin to understand why your kin spent their last years in a rest home happily parked in front of the TV.

[quote] I started screaming "WHERE ARE MY READING GLASSES?!!" I suddenly became aware that I was actually holding them in my left hand. For real...

wallet, smartphone, sun glasses. Definitely real. Definitely a geezer moment.

I stopped going to parties about 7 or 8 years ago, including almost all dinner parties, because I realized that "adults" bore the living shit out of me, and I would MUCH rather be fast asleep by 10:00 than listening to conversation that is about as interesting as what goes on at any business meeting.

You agree with Clarence Thomas and babble on about the good old days

Phrases from Frank Zappa, David Byrne, and oddly enough Tanya Tucker pop into your brain when young, fiery, social workers discuss our shithole system.

At times you feel content to just let life pass you by and let others get on with it.

R319, Polident, Metamucil, Depends...

Sorry, ^ was for R318.

I'm old

R326 r327

Hi R328! Made you post R329. Grow up.

R329 - what exactly are you trying to convey to R328 R326 & R327? I just don't get it, R329.

R330: just you have me blocked, evidently, but then you post the Rs to read it anyway. It's pathetic.

R318, iPhone case at Staples

Technology upgrades and related system changes at work fill you with dread and resentment.

People in their thirties call you "sir."

My tots are to my knees

^^tits

R67 Well damn, you've got to be one of our most elderly Eldergays if you're older than him.

R337- No, I'm MUCH younger than my doctor.

My semen used to shoot 3-4 feet. And this distance lasted for many, many years. Now I have to edge for a long time to get that kind of distance nowadays.

R339 should be posted to the "Describe something mundane that should be classified as a sport" thread.

R339 Speaking of dribble.... ok, pissing, we're done... oh, we're not done... oh, we're done... wait, what the fuck, we're not done....

(I hate this thread)

R341 has trouble even dribbling.

“But, wait, here’s a last slow trickle. Oh, now the pants are up and zipped. We could pee agsin. This was more of a pre-piss. I mean, we could wait a half hour, but we are here and all,”

My bladder and penis have teamed up to get as much bathroom air as possible.

When I was young and beautiful I used to see middle aged and older people standing in line or crossing the parking lot (I worked at Target) with their faces all screwed up -- grimacing or squinting, frowning with a furrowed brow-- sometimes all the above, and I would wonder how people could walk around in public with those crazy ass expressions. Did they have no self-awareness? Didn't they practice their 'public expressions' in the mirror as I had?

Now I have to remind myself to relax my face (but not too much!) when my sciatica is flaring up and the sun is in my eyes as I am pushing the cart back to the cart corral. You can't imagine at 16 what it feels like 30, 40, 50 years later. Your only priority is looking good.

When you notice everywhere you go, to stores, restaurants, streets seem to be filled with young people. No old people to bee seen until you catch a gimps of yourself in the window reflection.

Your fellow Dataloungers type things like this at you when you relate an experience from the past:

[quote]How old ARE you, OP?

R319, or worse, the aches and pains you all have and what you take for them.

I've noticed that I now start waking up before my alarm. It's set for 6:15 am but, more often than not, I'm awake between 5:30 and 6:10 am. I remember being someone who could sleep through their alarm or, on weekends, not set it and wake up at 8 am.

[quote]When you notice everywhere you go, to stores, restaurants, streets seem to be filled with young people. No old people to bee seen until you catch a gimps of yourself in the window reflection.

Same here, apart from the reflection thing which I avoid.

R348 - You sound like a character in an Andrew Holleran novel.

Your analogy is lost on me, R349, but I'm sure it's complimentary.

Andrew Holleran has been bitching about being a single, "left alone," lonely OLD Gay ever since, at least, the late 1970s. I wouldn't pay him too much attention, and in fact haven't in about 4 decades now. Is he still kicking?

R351 Yes, Holleran is still alive, complaining that he can't score in the bars...

That's Alexander Imich, onetime world's oldest man, r352, who died at 111 in 2014.

Is it fun being an asshole?

R352- Can you still score in the bars?

How do you know that, R353???

R353 R354 Oh, Rose, you're so stuck up....

I was upset when I turned 25. Complained to family, friends, then bf that I was a quarter of a century and old!😅 To be young and dumb again.

When the poignancy and melancholy of a July 4th holiday weekend is part of its pleasure.

[quote]I was upset when I turned 25. Complained to family, friends,

Seriously? What kind of vapid neurotic queens are raised in NY? When I was that age I knew I had the whole life ahead of me. I could do anything. Not whining about my age.

You read books in 30-minute stretches. If you read books anymore at all.

R360- Twenty years ago I RARELY read books for 30 minutes at a time.

[quote]You read books in 30-minute stretches.

Why, what were your stretches when you were young?

R362 If it was a good book or required reading I'd waited till the last minute to read I'd go from early evening till early am, easily six hours at a time. Then there was sitting in that carrel doing all-day all-night library research, with maybe a break to eat. Maybe not. Don't know where that stamina has gone.

Your elastic asshole lost its stretch and now turds come out at will

Same r363. When I was younger, if was reading a book and I was really into it I would stay up until the wee hours of the morning to finish it. Can't do that now.

You don't read or watch an unfinished series for fear you will die before it ends.

I used to love snow and actually kind of liked the cold. This past winter I had to wear gloves even if the temperature was 39 degrees- which is the very edge of cold.

I'm more concerned about having to shovel snow after a big snowstorm .

I find myself trying to avoid interacting with other people more and more.

That's not about "getting old" - R368. That's a condition.

It's my tolerance for other people's bullshit diminishing with age. R369.

You start to understand that there's a reason that no one over 40 has ever expressed a desire to "live forever".

You are peers with the "new hires" parents/grand parents........

R359, I was raised in Philly not NY, but agree with the rest of the sentiment.

I fart constantly and I don’t care. Smell it

Oh God yes, the gas, forgot about that.

R375- I had a colonoscopy done in September 2019 and the doctor didn't find ANY polyps. The only thing he found was a

HEMORRHOID

HEMO-HEMO-HEMORRHOID BOY YOU MAKE ME PARANOID THAT IN SICKNESS, THAT IN STRESS I AM GONNA POOP MY ASS

You realize that even at a fair distance it's pretty easy to suss out someone's age.

I think I'll die before the Ukraine war is over.

I pass wind ALL day EVERY day.

You're lucky, R380

I wake up, turn over to see my partner (together 26 years), and can't remember if I'm mad at him or not.

This chick turned 77 yesterday.

Yeah r383 the hot young celebrities of your youth are now senior citizens.

Well, I was born with bad eyesight so I had glasses in school starting with 1st grade. Getting old mean every time I make an eye doctor visit they are running out of the maximum strength of contacts that are made. And they have to be special progressives. You know how much a one year supply is going to cost with my failing eyesight? $1,000! Every Year!

R381- I've been passing wind all day since lunch which was cubes of tofu- it was tasty too.

Cream of wheat is too spicy

I love Cream of Wheat too...with cinnamon& dried cranberries!!

R385, why don't you just get glasses?

Glasses at the power I need are way too heavy, R389. I get deep red indents on my nose after less than a hour. They do make light weight lenses which help somewhat but guess what, they are very premium, The most expensive you can get. They are called high index. So by the time you ad simple frames, almost the same price as contacts if not more. Plus glasses not great for things like running, working out, rainy weather.

Neck and upper back sloped forward.

Everything annoys you. Loud music, loud people, loud kids, the list is long and endless. To the point you just say fuck it, I just want to stay home.

I sleep 😴 HORRIBLE. I NEVER get a good nights sleep 🛌.

[quote]I sleep 😴 HORRIBLE. I NEVER get a good nights sleep 🛌.

This is happening to me now (age 59) never in the past. Toe nails (I'll say no more). Have to watch my diet (esp. sugar). Regular shitting is a thing of the past.

R394- I'm 56 years old and have a HIGH fiber diet and have no problems taking a CRAP every day. Do you eat a lot of produce- because that will clean you out everyday. Have fruit for breakfast most days including raspberries, blackberries, strawberries- those are all high fiber. Ezekiel bread - whenever I eat that it cleans me out nicely later.

I hate berries and hate fruit for breakfast. I do eat a lot of fruit thru the day. Never heard of Ezekiel bread. I'll check it out. Thanks for the advice.

R396- Trader Joe's sell Ezekiel bread so you don't have to go to a health food store to buy it and over pay.

R391: Re that upper body curvature problem, a very good friend of mine, known her since high school, started getting that "widow's hump" very badly when she was about 55. She started doing yoga and in about 3 months, it was gone, completely resolved. It's been 10 years and has never come back. She "went to school" for yoga and got certified as a teacher (all kinds of classes, including ones on human anatomy), and now she teaches it to older people (who are the ones who REALLY NEED it). It's very, very good for our old bodies.

R398 shifting this thread a bit from humorous social media smack talk to actual self-care advice: NOTHING helps the aging body more than regular yoga. Getting blood into muscles and joints, for sure, but the relaxation, breathing is good for blood flow in the brain etc

Never too late either....

you have a favorite spatula

You prefer your least favourite spatula to your favourite sex toy.

Batteries are dead anyway.

Oh God, I actually do have a favorite spatula.

Well, who doesn't?

Mom (when I was a kid): Can you get me the good scissors?

This was in all homes, right? Though (being a bit OCD) even as a kid I thought "why do we even keep the scissors that not the "good" scissors?

Old age sign: you see your parents as old people, looking back at you from the mirror.

R404, we had the good scissors too.

Did you have the good dishes? We did.

[quote] You watch the NFL draft and realize all the hot football studs are young enough to be your son

Along those lines...

This past weekend, I watched a Lakers summer-league game that featured rookies Shareef O'Neal & Scottie Pippen, Jr. Made me feel older than dirt.

You can't drink anymore. Just two drinks and the next day your ass is dragging and you feel like complete shit.

When you were younger, you could drink your ass off and still get up in the morning and go to work like nothing happened. Those days are OVER, bitch!

R401 and R402- I have a FAVORITE pillow. What does that say about me?

It's fine as long as you don't sit on, R408, because inevitably there's a La-Z-Boy involved. And our age that doesn't isn't short form for disinterested bottom.

Realizing that Morrissey now looks like this.

R410- Unfortunately that's what a LOT of datalounge queens look like with their shirts off nowadays.

When your hair stops growing in places you want to have it (e.g., on the top of your head) and starts growing where you don't want it to (eyebrows, inside your ears).

R412- Oh honey, I started growing hair in and on my ears by my late 30s.

Your mind starts to slow down. Slightly complicated things that were never a problem before -- like assembly instructions for some gizmo -- now have to be read three or four times, and even then a sense of puzzlement remains.

Tom Hanks' son looks older than mental image you have of Tom Hanks.

R414- The NYT says that regular exercise like walking EVERY day can boost your memory. If your sitting at home every night in your caftan eating a Costco size package of Haagen Dazs Milk Chocolate Almond Vanilla Ice creambars while watching episodes of Downton Abbey it won't do much for your memory.

I also have brain fog and memory problems, and trouble focusing, and I'm "only" in my early 40s. Does ginkgo biloba really help with that? Anyone with experience?

^ I am pretty sure I read recently that a convincing study of ginko found that any effect it had was purely placebo, that there is no demonstrable evidence that it has any impact on one's memory. Of course, my memory isn't as sharp as it used to be, so...

Try Lion's Mane Mushroom capsules for improved brain health.

R405 Yes, the everyday dishes, the "good dishes", then at some point we got "bone china" Bavarian blah blah (still not convinced that "bone" means anything)... so we had outdoor/picnic dishes, everyday dishes, good "Sunday" dishes, and the fine china for holidays etc.

Sign of getting old: I remember these sets of china, their colors and patterns, more than I can remember what I did yesterday.

You can’t believe how much a first class stamp costs nowadays.

Does anyone still have china anymore?

Does anyone still have "formal" dinner parties anymore? Even among, in the words of our eldergays "upper class" people, that isn't really a thing in today's world.

R420 There is a difference. Bone china actually uses bones -- usually from cattle -- to replace a special clay.

[quote]Your mind starts to slow down. Slightly complicated things that were never a problem before -- like assembly instructions for some gizmo -- now have to be read three or four times, and even then a sense of puzzlement remains.

There's a cure for that, but it's not in a bottle.

As you get older, you get stuck in the same mental patterns as physical ones. You need to break that pattern if you want to stay sharp. You have to try things that involve mental acuity that you never did before. I am not talking about crossword puzzles. You need to learn new things, teach yourself new things. Once you complete a task or goal, move to something new again, don't just sit there as your new hobby. So in the last year for example, I built my first computer from scratch including a custom water loop. I didn't even know a hard drive from a motherboard before that. I built a table with concrete and resin, first time with some power tools. I started taking 360 photography and learned how to fly a drone. I am almost 60 and people are shocked even at that age you can learn new things.

It works, the key is it has to be a new challenge, not something you already know how to do well AND in completely different fields of interests from one another.

[quote]There is a difference. Bone china actually uses bones -- usually from cattle -- to replace a special clay.

And people ate off it? Eeeuww.

R424, I find it hilarious that you think of 60 as that old. Hate to tell you but it isn't your new hobbies that are making your brain work. It's that you are only 60 so your brain still works. I mean, it's not a bad thing to ever learn new things but that's not why your brain is still working right now.

You switch to Velcro shoes.

You can’t stop shittin

R428- meet R394 maybe you two should exchange tips

R426- I agree he's pathetic. My doctor is 93 years old.

[quote]Never too late either....

It can be. If you have neuropathy or balance problems created by spine issues, yoga may be something you can engage in, but in limited amounts and with limited results.

Picture a disabled person trying to do a plank or boat pose

[quote]and starts growing where you don't want it to (eyebrows, inside your ears).

I WISH I had hair growing in my eyebrows. My problem is the complete opposite. My eyebrows are going bald and I find myself using eyebrow make-up (Clinique) to compensate.

Happens to a lot of us brown people (I’m Puerto Rican) especially the hairless ones (even though in my case, I have a hairy chest and bush). We also lose a lot of leg hair but I think that happens in every ethnic group, something to do with less blood circulation in our extremities.

Massive Insomnia

Definitely, R433. In fact, I refer to it as "old man insomnia."

When you look down at your hands and say, "They call these age spots. I call them ugly. But what's a woman to do?"

^ In a corollary, when you remember that commercial.

you only listen to madonna

R434, I am only 55....any advice? Melatonin has no effect on me. Ambien works but it makes me forgetful and depressed. I stay away from it as much as I can. I already gave up coffee, which I consider a huge hit on quality of life. Please don't tell me to "lead a less stressful life".

Have you tried the "Serenity Now!!" program? It really, REALLY works!!

R404, For us, it was the red-handled scissors. I don’t know why we specified, though, because we just had the one pair.

Nice R439 :)

Can anyone here recommend a good face care routine? Just curious.

r438 Look into magnesium supplements(the GLYCINATE formulation is supposed to be extremely absorbable, as opposed to the OXIDE which is next to useless), this mineral seems to be involved in just about every bodily process. It is supposed to help insomnia somewhat. It couldn't hoit. 🥱

R442 - Night: Use retina A or Differin. Cover that with a basic moisturizing cream.

Use sunblock all over face, ears, neck, and if you have thin hair, scalp.

thats the basics.

Consider a tone neutralizing and blurring BB cream over your sunblock. Works wonders.

Re the insomnia, I know everybody is different, but for me the key is getting exercise. If I don't exercise for an hour a day, I can't sleep through the night. If I do the exercise, I fall asleep in 5 minutes every night, and sleep like a baby. And ALL the people my age that bitch about waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep are the ones who NEVER hit a lick at a snake, they are totally sedentary. So I can't help but feel there's a connection there. The insomniacs I mention this to all respond like, "Hmmm!! I never thought about that before!!" None of them ever take up exercising, however.

Go empty my piss bucket

r446 "Thanks, I'll get it later." 😉

You know the film.

To sleep well, I go for a half hour walk every day, don't eat after dinner, and take one over the counter antihistamine before bed. The pill makes me sleepy within a half hour and cuts down on postnasal drip, thereby eliminating my snoring.

You might find it worth a try.

I did a search and didn't see this...but I need to use a magnifying glass (along with reader glasses) sometimes to read the print/instructions on food, etc.

What a thread... the hits just keep on comin'.

I do notice that in the last five years or so they've redesigned packages, bottle, boxes, "tear here", and twist offs... don't know why they did it, but it takes a lot more finger strength to open things now than it used to. It's the packaging, for sure.

R449, how about when they put small black writing on a red background?!

yes, r451 that is annoying as well. I sit there for about a minute trying to figure out WTH it says with my readers on then finally give up and get the mag glass.

Signs you are getting old? How about I am wearing cheater glasses on top of wearing progressive contact ( tri-fical lenses) which are the highest power they make.

When all of your aunts and uncles have died and you realize your generation are now the seniors in the family.

^I see it like this: I'm now first in line right outside the cemetery gates.

Two words: essential tremors

Color blindness, particularly the "blue-green" type, increases with age. You can't follow bus maps or read labels printed in yellow, etc.

Trigger finger!

When the pages of your favorite coffee table books turn yellow at the rim.

When you go take the trash out in your robe and as you bend over, the twins say hello.

Dupuytren's contracture

r460 The situation you describe happened to two people who lived on my block. The guy bending down and inadvertently, and obliviously, flashing his junk while wearing a shorty robe(pretty impressive I was later informed, who knew?) happened to be doing it as my dear next door friend was passing by, on her way to the corner cafe. Mr. Bending Down greeted her with a cheery "Hi, neighbor." Henceforth, he was always referred to as 'Hi Neighbor.'

Another sure sign of getting old: Wondering if the new water heater you recently had installed will be the last one you'll ever buy.

After a couple of falls, the oomph is gone.

Grunting every time you bend over.

The Holy Trinity:

Pension, Medicare, and Social Security

Having nothing worth doing at 8:30pm so you just go to bed (extremely) early.

Having nothing worth doing at 8:30am so you just stay in bed all day.

[quote] Color blindness, particularly the "blue-green" type

I've always been slightly color blind in the dark blue / black range. (Dark blue looks black to me; other people can see the blue shade easier than I can.) The weird thing is that I like dark / navy blue a lot.

R406 Correction. Old enough to be their great grand son, gramps.

You live in the past.

When you have to go to the bathroom you have to go RIGHT NOW.

I am seriously considering a $500 recliner instead of a $7000 faux Eames Chair.

Same, R472, and I assume we're both on the recliners' thread as well.

Any recliner recommendations?

Yes R474, they are here:

Taking too long to remember names. I hate that.

Almost every day I stand at the refrigerator with the door open forgetting what I wanted FROM the refrigerator.

Friends passing away from "natural causes" which are age related illnesses.

^I'm 66 and it occurred to me a few weeks ago that all friends of mine from high school days, who did not exercise regularly, or who did not stop smoking years ago, are now dead (of "natural causes") or have had serious episodes with cancer. The exercisers seem to be in pretty good shape. It's startling to me how clearly things are lined up that way. The sedentary ones are dropping like flies.

R479- Maybe the sedentary ones are FAT WHORES like a lot of the queens here on the datalounge.

Dropping things on the floor and deciding they "look better where they are."

R481- I HATE bending to get something that fell on the floor- at those times it makes me wish the gravitational pull of the earth would change.

^I used to feel that way, strongly. Then I went on a *serious* intermittent fasting diet, and have lost 60 pounds since late January. Things are a lot looser skeletally nowadays, is how I'd put it. -R481.

R483, what is your caloric intake on IF and what is your timing window?

R483-I do intermittent/partial fasting twice a week for over two years. I don't eat dinner on Saturdays and Wednesdays- so that by the time I eat breakfast the next day it's 20 to 22 hours since I've eaten.

^I don't eat after 2 pm, every day. No cheat days. I realize I'm going to have to do some kind of daily version of this permanently if I want to keep the weight off, once I go off of it, probably 2 to 3 nights a week of "no supper." You get used to it, weirdly.

R486- Good luck ☘ and good for you.

Not to belabor this point, but I think it's really key to learn how to eat as little as necessary in the evenings, just to stanch hunger. Most people eat way more than they should in the evenings.

Eating at night is the big problem for so many people, me included. If I HAVE to have something to eat, I usually make some oatmeal.

Any hot papas on here want to be my sugar daddy?

[quote]Not to belabor this point, but I think it's really key to learn how to eat as little as necessary in the evenings, just to stanch hunger. Most people eat way more than they should in the evenings.

News flash: You're still not going to live forever.

Nor would you want ot.

^That's what ALL the adults used to tell us kids when we'd implore them to quit smoking. When they were diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, COPD, or deathly emphysema, they ALL moaned, "Oh WHY didn't I quit this habit decades ago? Boo-hoo-hoo, WOE IS ME..." And they've all been dead for a LONG, long time. Simple.

[quote] And they've all been dead for a LONG, long time. Simple.

Not all of them, actually.

R464- You groan and I GRUNT when I have to be bend over.

I can’t wait to take up smoking again when I retire.

You are excited to find out that your cable company provides RewindTV, MeTV, and Antenna which play shows from the 80s and 90s. I've been enjoying Becker and Wings reruns. They also have The John Laroquette Show but I haven't caught any of them yet,

You have enough time to read through ALL of the comments on Datalounge.

When you actually contemplate that you don’t want to live forever.

Not interested in any travel longer than a day trip.

When you finally do go out, you get where you need to be and then think about what time to leave so you can get back home.

When you finally do go out, you forget where you need to be and then think about how to get back home.

You're flying. You get to the assigned gate. 3 hours early.

Refusing to go anywhere if it requires you to drive home at night.

R503- Ha. When I park my car at the airport in long term parking I love it when I see that I have 3 hours until my flight leaves. I'm a nervous Nellie about those things.

You are in good company R505. Sigmund Freud always had to be at the train station 3 hours beforehand. And that was before checkin and security lines.

You say things like "When I was young"...all the time. Now I just say "in the old days". Less personal.

Your birth certificate lists your birth year 1935.

You realize your pants are resting higher on your hips than they used to.

You start having dinner before 5 PM.

You have the same weight but somehow it has all been redistributed toward your belly.

Pants seem to be unzipped all the time. You really don't give a damn.

You wear your pants higher on your waist to hold your stomach in.

Everything you eat goes to your stomach. You take two bites of a cupcake and the next day you swear your stomach is a little bigger.

(We'll not even mention the moment, after several years of looking in the mirror straight on, you take a mirror to look at your profile/side view, and then from the back. God, what happened to your chin, now that a line of hanging flesh flaps from chin to adam's apple. And, oops, there is no longer any hair in the back - careful now, avoid any silly combover.)

How lovely to share all these revelations on social media with a group of old farts. Wait, did I already say that?

Some of you old Mary's are rather cute with these postings.

R509- I call that the Fred Mertz syndrome.

You think that something happened "a couple of years ago" when it actually happened in 2008.

Your portfolio is entirely bonds now.

R518- I don't know if I think it happened a couple of years ago but 2008 feels like 4 or 5 years ago not FOURTEEN years ago.

[quote]You wear your pants higher on your waist to hold your stomach in.

Or way below because you can't get them around your stomach.

You're getting more calls from the State of Georgia than gentlemens

[quote]You think that something happened "a couple of years ago" when it actually happened in 2008.—Time really does seem to speed up

Maybe because as you get older 10 or 12 years really isn't very much in the scheme of things - when you're 20, 12 years ago you were EIGHT!

More frequently happening now, losing your train of thought mid

R524- sentence

you're welcome

From day to day, your face seems to move back and forth between dreadful and not-so dreadful. One morning you'll want to break the mirror for reflecting such a fake image, but the next day it won't be that bad.

You really are interested in the weather. My Mom used to watch The Weather Channel non-stop when she retired. None of us kids could understand it. Now, at 60, I'm vested in what the weather will be like regardless of what I'm doing or may be going. When I was young, the only weather us kids were interested in was snow in case we were getting enough for a snow day. We played outside whether it rained, snowed, hailed, or was hot as hell. Now, I get pissed off when its supposed to rain the day the paper recycling goes out.

R527- Me too. I'm kind of obsessed with the weather. I want to know humidity levels in addition to the temperature everyday.

R527- I'm also obsessed with the reservoir levels. I look at those EVERY DAY. It has not rained in FIFTEEN days and that causes me concern. The reservoirs NYC should be at 93.6% they are currently at 88.2%. They are 5.4% below average. I live just north of NYC and we share our water supply with NYC.

You wanted to post something on DL, and then you forget what it was.

You keep your mouth open all the time. Cute as a teenager but Giuliani-esk for an adult.

Your facial muscles are constantly strained.

Not wanting to waste time showering. Have we already talked about that? I can't remember...

Simple tasks such as taking a shower or even just brushing your teeth start to feel like a major effort that we wish we could avoid.

It seems to me that many on this thread ARE old. We are looking of signs that you are GETTING old, like 55 year olds do. Are these considered eldergays?

^By today's beauty standards? ANCIENT. Pre-historic.

r530 I hear ya', brother.

[quote]It seems to me that many on this thread ARE old. We are looking of signs that you are GETTING old, like 55 year olds do.

What a stupid remark. Who better to tell you about signs that you're getting old than people who have experienced it?

[quote] We are looking of signs that you are GETTING old, like 55 year olds do.

"we" troll - ALERT⬆️

Start to appreciate just being alive and care less about being the hot guy or what other people think.

Your prostate is the size of a grapefruit.

(Hmm. Not to take this off topic in a vulgar direction, but would that mean it's easier to "hit" the prostate in sex? I'd never thought of this before.)

White hair in pubes

White eyebrow hairs.

-- You kvetch all the time about your ungrateful kids and grandkids who never call or come over to see you.

-- You always keep an apple pie ready in case they do surprise you with a visit. (They don't.)

-- You rewrite your will every two weeks.

R545- Are you a FRAU?- kids , grandkids

This is a GAY site.

R546 Whoosh!

You're not getting the Hummel collection, that's for sure.

Get with the program, R546.

When you have to cruise retirement centers and convalescent homes because you're running out of options to find someone older than you.

R549- You sound like a character in an Andrew Holleran novel/short story.

There's no longer a soul in the world who cares whether you live or die.

^Since I feel the same way about all of my fellow humans, I'd say we're even. I think it's *wonderful* personally, this not caring.

All your friends died of the aids in the 80s and 90s.

Certainly MOST.

R551- Are you a Friend Of The Friendless?

R555 No. But if you live too long that's often the result.

I am 58 years old and one of my teachers just died.

My 12th grade English teacher just died four days ago at the age of 102.

You want us to read about your dead teacher?

[quote]Maybe the sedentary ones are FAT WHORES like a lot of the queens here on the datalounge

The one guy I know that was thin and dropped dead from cancer at the age of 50 was a casual cigarette smoker. Ironically, I distantly remember a conversation with him about how fat people never make it over 50. At the time I looked around and thought, he was right, don't see a lot of fat people over that age, but then I guess smoking is worse.

I read about the teacher. Seems like a great lady.

[quote]I distantly remember a conversation with him about how fat people never make it over 50. At the time I looked around and thought, he was right, don't see a lot of fat people over that age.

You're not a terribly observant person, are you?

And R516, you are not a terribly nice person to be around are you?

Your nipples get hard when a Diana Ross song is played while you are shopping at the grocery store !

People in their twenties look like kids to you.

People in their forties look like kids to you.

Sagging back fat.

Eeeuuw, R566.

While shaving, you make the weirdest gestures in order to stretch your loose face skin, to avoid it from getting cut.

True, r568, but if you think that's bad, you should see my stretched out ball sack.

I was finding it harder and harder to get a clean shave. My neck hairs were getting too soft and fluffy to get a good grip. I tried all sorts of shavers, even the dreaded electric, which I had managed to avoid all my life.

THEN...this is beginning to sound like a commercial, I discovered HARRY. The cleanest smoothest easiest shave of my life. Don't know if you can get it in the USA. Yes, seems you can and it's Harry's not Harry.

Wrinkles and gray hair.

R570- I hope you're not bullshitting because I just ordered HARRY on Amazon. I will have it by tomorrow.

Why would I be bullshitting? Do I sound like I'm bullshitting?

Write back and tell us how it went.

Their other products aren't so great. The shaving gel is sort of slimy. I need a GRIP when I shave.

You need to find someone to change your designer Depends.

Vertigo, its various forms, and gimmicks to subdue it, comes up almost immediately in the very first conversation you have with anyone in your approximate age group.

Have been there since my 40s R575.

You realize that the shirt you think of as your "New Shirt" was actually purchased five years ago.

^Oh, in my case, I am confident I can find a photo of me wearing it from at least 15 years earlier...

When you go to the gym during "old people's hours," you find that you really enjoy the music that they are playing.

You're invisible in the bars, the baths, the clubs

-at least to the young (under 40) good looking guys

You get very nostalgic watching your favorite shows and movies from the 70s or listening to songs from that era. The sexy, charismatic stars of your youth are all 70- or even 80-somethings now. You don't know the names of the current stars because you don't care about their movies, music and all that.

Watching that Joni Mitchell video that was just posted and crying tears of sadness.

You have ties that have gone out of style, and BACK in style... not once, not twice, but THREE times.

Watching this clip makes you happy and sad at the same time.

R582.... Oh, but you are in my blood

You're my holy wine

You're so bitter

Bitter and so sweet

Oh, I could drink a case of you, darling

Still I'd be on my feet

I would still be on my feet

(yep tears for the time passed, the darkness to come, the beauty we've had, and gratitude for that beauty).

You live in the past.

[quote]You live in the past.

It's only natural once you realize you don't have much in the way of a future.

R587 Not to move this too far off the social media funtime topic - but there is only the present, ever. And memories are only in the present. Memories could both make the present richer, wiser, having shown that life must not be wasted.... or weigh the present down, drown it with regret and sorrow.

Now, back to the internet...

R587- I was living in the past by the time I was 16.

Low sodium soup.

You have to keep To Do lists because you forget what you need to do.

You have graduate students that were born in the year 2000.

You drink beverages with no caffeine since even a small amount of caffeine will keep you up at night.

I got depressed when I turned 13 so I've always felt old.

5 pairs of glasses and none work perfectly. One progressive, one for watching TV/driving, one for driving at night, tinted for the beach, and contacts where one lens is to see from afar and the other one to read from medium distance.

Meanwhile, my presbyopia is all but cured so I read with the naked eye (as long as the book or screen are close enough to my eyes, otherwise, it’s the progressives).

R595-I'm extremely near sighted. My glasses are so strong I could use them like a magnifying glass to light a piece of paper on fire.

Fortunately unlike most 56 years I can read a book or newspaper without glasses- holding it VERY close to my face of course.

When asked, you become a little hazy on precisely what year you graduated from college.

You want to develop cataracts so you no longer have to shell out $500/year for contact lens. I realize this is my vanity talking. I could easily buy a couple pairs of glasses from America's Best or somewhere else where they aren't so expensive. I've been wearing contacts since I was 17; I'm 60 now and like my face without my glasses.

You can suddenly choke out of thin air, just by breathing. No longer do you need to have food, liquids or cock in your mouth to actually choke, gag or cough.

One day you wake up, go to the bathroom, see your face in the mirror all bloated and tired, so you wash it to refresh it, but your face stay that way.