Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

Signs that you're getting old

Your favorite celebrities from when you were a kid are now doing ads for life insurance, arthritis meds, etc

You watch the NFL draft and realize all the hot football studs are young enough to be your son

Any others?

by Anonymousreply 357July 1, 2022 5:21 PM

You're ignored.

by Anonymousreply 1June 19, 2022 2:29 AM

You're constantly hit up by youngsters with parental issues and fantasies.

by Anonymousreply 2June 19, 2022 2:40 AM

You can predict the weather more accurately than any radar by how your joints feel

by Anonymousreply 3June 19, 2022 2:40 AM

They told you not to masturbate so much in your youth and now they want you to constantly get off and stick things up your bum.

by Anonymousreply 4June 19, 2022 2:42 AM

^ for your health

by Anonymousreply 5June 19, 2022 2:42 AM

When the music of your childhood is played on the oldies stations...

by Anonymousreply 6June 19, 2022 2:43 AM

When it's become a chore to scroll down the dates on those sites that require age verification.

by Anonymousreply 7June 19, 2022 2:44 AM

When you're approached by a young stud and your first thought is to smack him rather than fuck him.

by Anonymousreply 8June 19, 2022 2:45 AM

When social justice starts to take a backseat because they're taking too much pork spending taxes out of your check

by Anonymousreply 9June 19, 2022 2:48 AM

When every time you take a shit, you've got swing your scrotum over your shoulder to keep it out of the shitty water.

by Anonymousreply 10June 19, 2022 2:49 AM

You sign up for the DL

by Anonymousreply 11June 19, 2022 2:49 AM

When medical professionals are all younger than you are.

by Anonymousreply 12June 19, 2022 2:49 AM

Chuckle. Your cute Op.

by Anonymousreply 13June 19, 2022 2:52 AM

You find yourself bingeing The Love Boat on Paramount+ in order to see stars you actually recognize.

by Anonymousreply 14June 19, 2022 2:54 AM

For me it was seeing the guy who I used to lust after in high school after about 25 years or so. We're the exact same age and when I saw him, I didn't recognize him at first, then when I realized who he was I thought to myself - damn he looks old. Then his kid came out and he was a carbon copy of his dad at his hottest and that's when I realized that I too am old.

by Anonymousreply 15June 19, 2022 3:00 AM

When you still use your desk calculator and the 20 something customer rep on the other end of the phone asks what that noise is that you're making. Then they tell you they have never seen one.

by Anonymousreply 16June 19, 2022 3:02 AM

You have no interest in platforms like TikTok or stars from YouTube

You don’t care about trans (beyond their healthcare and safety)

Pride seems like a hassle and mess so you pass on going

by Anonymousreply 17June 19, 2022 3:04 AM

I can't be bothered.

by Anonymousreply 18June 19, 2022 3:29 AM

Your stomach gets fatter and your butt gets smaller

by Anonymousreply 19June 19, 2022 3:44 AM

r19 with acne and hair appearing in never before places...

by Anonymousreply 20June 19, 2022 4:13 AM

You collect coupons and get pissed off about the places they don't offer you the senior discount.

by Anonymousreply 21June 19, 2022 4:14 AM

I called a teenager “kiddo” yesterday.

by Anonymousreply 22June 19, 2022 4:21 AM

Judge Judy ihas become your favorite tv show.

by Anonymousreply 23June 19, 2022 4:27 AM

while you reserve a time and a place, you don't give two shits about trying to keep the peace when it comes to giving your opinions.

by Anonymousreply 24June 19, 2022 4:39 AM

you've been around the block enough to understand that you don't get so hangup on the details when it comes to hooking up or seeking out relationships because anyone, anywhere, can be hot with the right social lubricants.

by Anonymousreply 25June 19, 2022 4:43 AM

When you enjoy the music at the Dentist's office.

by Anonymousreply 26June 19, 2022 4:45 AM

You become afraid of stairs. (not walking up them, walking down them)

by Anonymousreply 27June 19, 2022 4:45 AM

potlucks, potlucks, potlucks.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 28June 19, 2022 4:45 AM

r27 you enjoy going to the dentist, having naps and getting spanked.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 29June 19, 2022 4:46 AM

Loud restaurants or bars are intolerable

You become very careful crossing the street

You ignore trolls here because life is too short

by Anonymousreply 30June 19, 2022 4:51 AM

r17 I love you

by Anonymousreply 31June 19, 2022 5:46 AM

The early 90s seem like last week instead of yesterday.

by Anonymousreply 32June 19, 2022 5:50 AM

r32 They were. We've never been able to escape the 90s while the 80s, 70s, 60s could be condensed into more specific events, fads and trends. . . the 90s isn't so distilled. At most attempts to appear 90s looks more 80s and the younger gens either seem to believe that sitcoms are an adequate reflection of what it s about, confuse it with the 60s or believe they're the first to discover the totally unheard of and underground music of every major band of the decade...

by Anonymousreply 33June 19, 2022 6:12 AM

R33 I like to believe that time actually stopped then, and that everything since has been a script for a show that wasn't picked up. And yes, seeing tweens wearing Nirvana shirts and imagining that they were some mystical group that spoke, er, mumbled for their generation is laughable. They had three good songs and one was a cover.

by Anonymousreply 34June 19, 2022 6:20 AM

Every actor and singer you remember from your youth is dead or about to be.

You are clueless about 90% of the sayings, phrases, slang and acronyms you read/hear.

You have zero interest in social media.

Pride makes you grimace.

by Anonymousreply 35June 19, 2022 6:30 AM

You’re falling in love with Jensen Ackles and are sure he will call you.

by Anonymousreply 36June 19, 2022 6:34 AM

You consider yourself younger than Homer Simpson, but realize he is only supposed to be 39.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 37June 19, 2022 6:46 AM

It no longer means anything that you are younger than Madonna.

You are shocked to learn people who graduated in 1992 are now considered old.

You would rather save money than get in an airplane.

by Anonymousreply 38June 19, 2022 6:57 AM

All the sensations in your anus are gone.

by Anonymousreply 39June 19, 2022 7:02 AM

You can't see to drive at night.

by Anonymousreply 40June 19, 2022 7:05 AM

R32: Yes, until I do the math, the early 90's do seem like yesterday. About a week ago, the TV listings, included a showing of Prince's "Purple Rain" and David Bowie's, "Serious Moonlight", tours....both on PBS, complete with pledge drives. On a more serious note, I'm disabled and have to remind myself to walk slower, lest I fall. As much as I loved and was happiest going out, I really can't do big crowds anymore, I could lose my balance and fall.

by Anonymousreply 41June 19, 2022 7:18 AM

You can remember when gay was an adjective and not a lifestyle.

by Anonymousreply 42June 19, 2022 7:25 AM

People offer you their seats in buses and trains.

by Anonymousreply 43June 19, 2022 7:28 AM

People in their fifties address you as "Sir".

by Anonymousreply 44June 19, 2022 7:28 AM

You feel next to nothing during an orgasm.

by Anonymousreply 45June 19, 2022 7:29 AM

You are referred to as a SENIOR

by Anonymousreply 46June 19, 2022 7:30 AM

all your favorite music now has (remastered) after the title

by Anonymousreply 47June 19, 2022 7:37 AM

r46 you were excited to be a senior in school but now murder stare anyone that says so and exclaim but all my friends think I don't look a day over __

by Anonymousreply 48June 19, 2022 7:39 AM

Balls are hanging a lot lower.

by Anonymousreply 49June 19, 2022 7:41 AM

Not caring about contemporary pop culture at all, and getting angry about what young people believe in.

by Anonymousreply 50June 19, 2022 7:45 AM

When your friends that are your age post happy birthday to their 27 year old kids and you realize you’ve slept with guys younger than that recently and now you just want to crawl in a hole and die.

by Anonymousreply 51June 19, 2022 7:49 AM

You don’t even have to ask for the Senior Discount on Tuesdays.

by Anonymousreply 52June 19, 2022 7:50 AM

[quote]You don’t even have to ask for the Senior Discount on Tuesdays.

Oooh, that one happened to me at Walgreen’s when I was 47! I was equally outraged, embarrassed, and happy to have saved 7 bucks. 😖

by Anonymousreply 53June 19, 2022 7:55 AM

If white, gay Asian men hit on you.

by Anonymousreply 54June 19, 2022 7:58 AM

You’re older than the President.

by Anonymousreply 55June 19, 2022 7:59 AM

The cool new song you started listening to on Pandora have been around 15 to 25 years.

by Anonymousreply 56June 19, 2022 8:05 AM

R49? Same for my tits!

by Anonymousreply 57June 19, 2022 10:18 AM

This started out as a semi- fun thread but changed quickly. Some of you biotches are just downright depressed.

by Anonymousreply 58June 19, 2022 11:51 AM

Complaining about your money going to The Blacks.

by Anonymousreply 59June 19, 2022 11:59 AM

You start thinking, ‘Aren’t Popes getting younger these days?’

by Anonymousreply 60June 19, 2022 12:16 PM

The bus driver greets you as “Pops”’

by Anonymousreply 61June 19, 2022 12:16 PM

When you entertain the notion that Mao's China was on to something with the Mao suit.

Because one day, it dawns on you the expensive clothes, both for work and fun, that you just HAD to have were then, and are now, nonsense.

Then, when you clean them or shake them out before you act your bright idea to donate them to the local charity that helps the unemployed or unhoused, you realize, in today's world, even they don't need this stuff.

They need, instead, the basics for all genders : socks, clean, still-packaged underwear, bras, winter mittens in child sizes and adult...

When the aphorism "It's better for me to want what I have, rather than have what I want" actually has real meaning.

by Anonymousreply 62June 19, 2022 12:18 PM

Once a year a number attached to my age gets larger and time moves faster.

by Anonymousreply 63June 19, 2022 12:32 PM

You start getting offers for hearing tests and hearing aids in the mail.

by Anonymousreply 64June 19, 2022 12:35 PM

R6- The music 🎼 I loved as a kid was already being played on an oldies station- CBS-FM . I liked music from the 1960’s and early 1970’s when I was in high school in the 1980’s.

by Anonymousreply 65June 19, 2022 12:50 PM

You start a thread on Datalounge about a current TV show you were just thinking about that actually ended 30 years ago.

by Anonymousreply 66June 19, 2022 12:51 PM

R12- My doctor is 93 years old.

by Anonymousreply 67June 19, 2022 12:55 PM

R67, if you want to live to 93 you better get a younger doc, lol.

by Anonymousreply 68June 19, 2022 1:05 PM

Your favorite celebrities from when you were a kid are all dead or dying.

by Anonymousreply 69June 19, 2022 1:24 PM

You get an AARP thing in the mail and you're horrified that you're getting an AARP thing in the mail.

by Anonymousreply 70June 19, 2022 1:50 PM

People younger than you are already grandparents- YIKES- grandparents I still feel too young to be a parent.

by Anonymousreply 71June 19, 2022 1:54 PM

When favorite rock and roll stars of my youth, are approaching 80 and over. Happy B'Day Paul McCartney....80 years old.

by Anonymousreply 72June 19, 2022 2:39 PM

The Beatles wrote..."will you still need me, will you still feed me....when I'm 64?".....like that was ancient back then.

by Anonymousreply 73June 19, 2022 2:40 PM

Idiopathic back pain.

by Anonymousreply 74June 19, 2022 2:41 PM

R64 and you receive mail from independent living facilities.

by Anonymousreply 75June 19, 2022 2:50 PM

You care more about Amazon stock than Amazon workers

None of your pre-COVID clothes fit anymore

Your parents are in their 80’s

by Anonymousreply 76June 19, 2022 3:18 PM

You have no clue who 2/3rds of currently popular celebrities are. And you don't care.

by Anonymousreply 77June 19, 2022 3:21 PM

When you hear Guns N' Roses "Sweet Child O' Mine" on the "easy listening" station that's playing in your dentist's waiting room.

by Anonymousreply 78June 19, 2022 3:23 PM

You don't go out anymore because you order everything in.

The phone calls from Mom have stopped.

You leave the will on a table where it'll be easily found.

by Anonymousreply 79June 19, 2022 3:44 PM

When your parents, if alive or dead today, would be near or over 100 years old now.

by Anonymousreply 80June 19, 2022 3:51 PM

You start thinking oh well, if I go tomorrow I’ve had a pretty good ride, did lots of stuff. You feel sorry for anyone who grew up with the internet. You lament the loss of melody, harmony, and heartfelt lyrics in popular music.

by Anonymousreply 81June 19, 2022 3:53 PM

People in their twenties look like kids to you

by Anonymousreply 82June 19, 2022 3:56 PM

[quote] You get an AARP thing in the mail and you're horrified that you're getting an AARP thing in the mail.

Even worse, when you look inside and discover that all the articles are interesting to you.

by Anonymousreply 83June 19, 2022 3:58 PM

When you have to put on your reading glasses to cruise Grindr.

by Anonymousreply 84June 19, 2022 3:59 PM

You find Real Housewives more entertaining than today’s crop of insufferable “stars” (Viola Davis, Jennifer Lawrence, Scarlett Johansson, and Brie Larson).

by Anonymousreply 85June 19, 2022 4:03 PM

When you realize that if "Grease" was made today, it would take place in 2004.

by Anonymousreply 86June 19, 2022 4:05 PM

We are now at the same distance in time from the 1980s as the 1980s were from World War II. This thought makes you have to sit down for a minute.

by Anonymousreply 87June 19, 2022 4:08 PM

Every pro athlete is much younger than the kids and babies you used to babysit.

by Anonymousreply 88June 19, 2022 4:10 PM

[quote] This thought makes you have to sit down for a minute.

The thought that makes me sit down and have a mondo oh fuck! attack is that I've got another 20, 25 years on this planet. Then the party's over. I cease to exist. *POOF* Forever.

I'm gonna really, really, no REALLY miss not being alive.

by Anonymousreply 89June 19, 2022 4:16 PM

You no longer are looking to score hot dick but are just grateful to be alive. A night at home - healthy and without worries - is a greater joy than a club or bar. Watching the sun rise or set is more spectacular than the best concert.

by Anonymousreply 90June 19, 2022 4:23 PM

I know I’m old because all my favorite celebrities arent just old, they are dead

by Anonymousreply 91June 19, 2022 4:23 PM

Pool parties are terrifying

You don’t know what the clothing style is now for gay men and don’t care

You pine for the good old days when they made studio movies for adults - you look at CGI, comic book films or family cartoons now playing, and you say never will I see these movies

by Anonymousreply 92June 19, 2022 4:26 PM

R89 I think about dying the same way you do...I cant believe this is it. I’m going to be 67 and dont know how many good yrs I have left. The finality of death scares the shit out of me...never to be any more, for eternity OY!

by Anonymousreply 93June 19, 2022 4:26 PM

R93 And here we sit on an anonymous gay board whinging about the finality of death instead of logging off, going out and cramming as much Life as we can in the time we have left.

by Anonymousreply 94June 19, 2022 4:29 PM

You envy your mother, who lives in a chic retirement home, because it's so blessedly QUIET. Well, except for the hard of hearing, who have blaring TVs.

You look up the newish horror movie you've started watching, on imdb, and it's described as a period film (it's set in the 80s). You turn off the movie because nothing that happens in the film could scare you as much as what you've just learned.

by Anonymousreply 95June 19, 2022 4:30 PM

Baaahahaaaa IKR?? R94. I would be out but it’s pouring in my part of Fl right now...a bit later its cocktails by the water. It's been hotter than hell here. I do better when it’s cold

by Anonymousreply 96June 19, 2022 4:32 PM

R94. This IS life. Right here. Now. Don't you get it?

Growing old means you can finally stop seeking that "life" out there somewhere that really doesn't exist.

by Anonymousreply 97June 19, 2022 4:33 PM

Someone tells you Lisa Kudrow and Courtney Cox are each 58 and you say that can’t be true.

by Anonymousreply 98June 19, 2022 4:34 PM

You don't care anymore. You just don't care.

by Anonymousreply 99June 19, 2022 4:39 PM

R97 Oh, uh. I guess we have different goals/expectations. My life is out there. Travelling, learning, experiencing. I've been in an 8 year procastination slump. But then, as you assert, THIS is life too. Such as it is.

by Anonymousreply 100June 19, 2022 4:42 PM

You've finally got the time and the money to visit Bali, but no way in hell are you going to spend 24 hours traipsing through airports and sitting on planes to get there.

by Anonymousreply 101June 19, 2022 4:43 PM

R96 And speaking of getting old and acronyms you are clueless about, IKR???

by Anonymousreply 102June 19, 2022 4:43 PM

R101 Ubud is worth 24 hours on the plane and the traipse/sit. Trust me!

by Anonymousreply 103June 19, 2022 4:45 PM

Since I’m 65, virtually every adult I idolized in my childhood is dead. Except Angela Lansbury.

by Anonymousreply 104June 19, 2022 4:53 PM

Your teenage movie idols (Meryl, Sigourney, Harrison Ford and DeNiro) are all in their 70’s.

by Anonymousreply 105June 19, 2022 4:56 PM

My childhood idols were Jack Benny, Bob Hope, and Red Skelton.

by Anonymousreply 106June 19, 2022 4:57 PM

When you're home from work or running errands by 6pm, you're in for the night.

When a best friend that you used to visit on a near daily basis now lives too far. And neither of you has moved in the last 20 years!

by Anonymousreply 107June 19, 2022 5:15 PM

Ubud?

by Anonymousreply 108June 19, 2022 5:17 PM

You hear a whispered “Edina Monsoon” every time you browse Comme des Garcons

You no longer fight tan lines because your ass cleavage leaves crescents on your thighs

by Anonymousreply 109June 19, 2022 5:29 PM

You know your’re a old crotchety fart when something as harmless as “IKR” upsets you so much you need to bring it up as R102 did

by Anonymousreply 110June 19, 2022 5:37 PM

The good ol' days are the '80s and '90s.

by Anonymousreply 111June 19, 2022 5:39 PM

When you hear yourself saying that today's music is not music just a bunch of noise. Then you remember your grandparents saying the exact same thing back in the 80s.

by Anonymousreply 112June 19, 2022 5:50 PM

You know your’e becoming a miserable old twat when you start screaming at little kids when they dare to step on your lawn as R102

by Anonymousreply 113June 19, 2022 5:56 PM

You're turning 34 for the 20th year in a row

by Anonymousreply 114June 19, 2022 6:05 PM

Your body's tolerance for alcohol is just a memory now.

by Anonymousreply 115June 19, 2022 6:15 PM

You see a guy you think is attractive, but then you realize you're probably old enough to be his father and he would have no interest in you.

by Anonymousreply 116June 19, 2022 6:16 PM

[quote]You look up the newish horror movie you've started watching, on imdb, and it's described as a period film (it's set in the 80s). You turn off the movie because nothing that happens in the film could scare you as much as what you've just learned.

Conversely, you see a new movie or tv show that's set in the 80s and you say "the 80s didn't look like this. How the hell old was the set designer and costumer for this thing? They couldn't have been old enough to actually remember the 80s because everything is all wrong"

by Anonymousreply 117June 19, 2022 6:21 PM

the hot 30 something guy worshipping your cock moans and calls you "daddy'.

by Anonymousreply 118June 19, 2022 6:32 PM

That's funny R117. I was recently watching The Hardy Boys on Hulu. It is set in an 80s that never existed.

by Anonymousreply 119June 19, 2022 6:33 PM

All the Google ads are tailored for erectile dysfunction and diabetes.

by Anonymousreply 120June 19, 2022 6:38 PM

I have nothing to possibly contribute to this thread.

by Anonymousreply 121June 19, 2022 6:40 PM

r119 I felt the same way about Wonder Woman 1984. And there was no excuse for that because Patty Jenkins is in her mid-fifties so she's definitely old enough to remember what 1984 actually looked like.

by Anonymousreply 122June 19, 2022 6:52 PM

AARP mailings

by Anonymousreply 123June 19, 2022 7:24 PM

You can remember when Madonna first became famous.

by Anonymousreply 124June 19, 2022 7:27 PM

Not caring about other prople's opinions anymore! I dress, look, do what I want/how I want without hiding or apologizing. And in so doing, I finally found my true groove and style in my 40s/50s and get more play now than ever before (weight loss and looking younger helps too). Go figure! Wish I figured all this out 20-30 years ago, but better late than never!

by Anonymousreply 125June 19, 2022 7:38 PM

*people's

by Anonymousreply 126June 19, 2022 7:39 PM

Presbyopia sucks even more!

by Anonymousreply 127June 19, 2022 7:50 PM

OP, if the celebs from your youth are doing arthritis ads, those boys are young enough to be your GRANDson.

by Anonymousreply 128June 19, 2022 8:05 PM

You cum dust (if you even cum at all).

by Anonymousreply 129June 19, 2022 8:08 PM

Yes, r117, have had that experience also. It reminded me of asking my parents if Grease was really what things were like when they were in school. It was a hard no.

The horror movie I never finished watching actually did a great job, I thought. It was filmed on 16mm. I thought it was actually an 80s movie before I looked it up.

by Anonymousreply 130June 19, 2022 8:35 PM

R108 Ubud is a town in Bali. Great food, resorts and walks but touristy beyond any belief.

by Anonymousreply 131June 19, 2022 8:43 PM

R130, is there some weird reason you're not saying the name of the movie?

by Anonymousreply 132June 19, 2022 8:45 PM

You know all the Medicare rules by heart.

by Anonymousreply 133June 19, 2022 8:50 PM

You go to more funerals than weddings.

by Anonymousreply 134June 19, 2022 8:54 PM

Mock turtleneck is a respectable choice - like a crewneck that loves too much

Your muscle groups get jelous of one another; if you reach up for something with your right hand, you have to follow up with a stretch of your left as well.

You love the sound of your body’s joints cracking like walnuts at the beginning of a workout because that means the old machine is warming up like an old volvo.

by Anonymousreply 135June 19, 2022 8:59 PM

If Madonna is still your favorite singer

by Anonymousreply 136June 19, 2022 8:59 PM

You can still sing when brushing your teeth…..false teeth

by Anonymousreply 137June 19, 2022 9:00 PM

r132, not weird, it's yet another sign I'm getting old - I forgot to add the title, "The House of the Devil."

by Anonymousreply 138June 19, 2022 9:05 PM

[quote] You see a guy you think is attractive, but then you realize you're probably old enough to be his father and he would have no interest in you.

There are plenty of younger guys with daddy issues whether it be rejection or abandonement.

by Anonymousreply 139June 19, 2022 9:08 PM

The cousin you went ice skating with just became a grandmother.

by Anonymousreply 140June 19, 2022 9:15 PM

Grey pubes are a subtle hint

by Anonymousreply 141June 19, 2022 9:19 PM

All the celebrity panelists on the Match Game re-runs you watch on Buzzr TV are dead.

by Anonymousreply 142June 19, 2022 9:21 PM

"Star Trek: The Next Generation" (1987-1994) is now "Star Trek: The Senior Generation"

by Anonymousreply 143June 19, 2022 9:26 PM

Most of your teachers from school are dead. The few who are still alive are older than dirt now.

by Anonymousreply 144June 19, 2022 9:35 PM

Starting a DL poll where every option is pre-1990.

by Anonymousreply 145June 19, 2022 9:46 PM

Your friends' children turn 18.

by Anonymousreply 146June 19, 2022 9:46 PM

When others offer to help you cross the roads

by Anonymousreply 147June 19, 2022 10:31 PM

When you take your latest twink out to eat, the server says "Sir, would you like a kids menu for your grandson?"

by Anonymousreply 148June 19, 2022 10:42 PM

R86- How about this - Stockard Channing was so old in real life when Grease was filmed that she was actually a teenager in high school in 1958/59.

by Anonymousreply 149June 20, 2022 12:39 AM

With Every breath you take, every move you make, every sound you make is a fart.

by Anonymousreply 150June 20, 2022 12:40 AM

Whenever you sneeze, you pee a little or worse worry about wetness that might have seeped out the backend.

by Anonymousreply 151June 20, 2022 12:42 AM

You have more hair on your big toe than your head

by Anonymousreply 152June 20, 2022 12:43 AM

You roll your eyes at the obvious babyfags that infiltrated this thread to blame you for why their generation is full of fat tards emitting greenhouse gasses that don't vote or do something more proactive to change the world, learning from ou mistakes instead of repeating them in less exciting ways.

by Anonymousreply 153June 20, 2022 12:46 AM

comparing aches and pains is a socially competitive team sport.

by Anonymousreply 154June 20, 2022 12:47 AM
Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 155June 20, 2022 12:48 AM

You can't even remember what year it was when you stopped listening to Top 40 radio (or whatever the fuck it's called now).

You have no idea if MTV is still around.

by Anonymousreply 156June 20, 2022 12:53 AM

All of the adults from your childhood are dead.

by Anonymousreply 157June 20, 2022 12:56 AM

You can't figure out why all the music in the world is now rap and hip-hop...bad rap and hip-hop, and it makes you wonder if the younger generation has lost their ability to hear.

(I don't think this is the same as the old 'what's that noise' because there is literally nothing else. There has literally been nothing new in over a decade. It almost feels like politically correct music listening presribed by the media creators to a generation that can't think for themselves. All the other music movements where the adult reaction was 'noise!' came from a place of rebellion against what you were supposed to listen to. This rap/hip-hop crap is all based on following exactly what you are told to listen to by corporate music and their paid social media influencers. It feels more rebellious to refuse to listen to it.)

by Anonymousreply 158June 20, 2022 1:00 AM

r158 Rap and hiphop aren't bad but yes, like other forms of music.. many lack rhythm, flow, structure, even just a decent hook. There's two areas I see popular in the hostile takeovers of various genres is either it's iconoclastic cacophony (like how gutteral screamo took over heavy metal or electronic music is disjointed noise played at chipmunk speeds; things which otherwise destroy a genre with a flood of twerps that believe learning the basic fundamentals of music should be a crime) that instead of inventing something new seeks out to destroy the old or uninspired reboot by kiddies that come off as third rate impersonators. -- they're boxed and sold by dozens, pushed into comtemporary media without having to work for it. . . the bnefit is most of them don't make it beyond a single release but they're replaced with more of the same. They want the "life" but they don't want to put in the work, and like the former, many of them are against furthering their music education, if they have any at all...

I could admire something that jumps in to try but at the same time, the more frustrating bit is how fucking narrow minded they are about it..

One of the most common phrases I hear from them is "I believe in what's possible" which is said in disdain when I make suggestions.... as I'm usually being approached on this by kiddies that are looking for access for floating in peripehral of those they actually want to speak to. I'm just a fucking a roledex (yes, signs of being old when they have to look up what roledex means. Honestly, they usually think it's an expensive watch.)

To be fair, there's no reason to respect me on it at all and I don't respond to flatter nor guilt in those matters either. I'm not sure there's even 1 out of 100,000, that could handle touring with no budget... or understanding the financial sum of when you're awarded a high value contract of where the bulk of award goes to -- it's beyond frustrating trying to get them to understand business costs anxd how they need to protect themselves -- it goes even more to those in high risk categories for bias, discrimination and exploitation. . . as that's the crowd in even worse straits as most have a chip on their shoulders in regards to having to engage in social warfare.. which requires more finesse than being a triggered cunt.

which they seem to think working the festival circuit is having a single spot at one event for one day and that roughing it is staying in a 3 star hotel. And, if they achieve that, then they believe they've made it and don't have to do anything more than.

They just need to be at the right place, at the right time.,. hence, so many more aim for reality shows than open mic nights.

You can't get it thru to them that it's work and the reason so many end up on drugs isn't just the partying but that it's bloody stressful and physically demanding work with extensive overtime. That it will break you., You're working even when you're not working. You might have high points, even become an internationally recognized and then have nothing for years, if ever again.. -- they're unwilling to look at what people are doing during those low periods -- which for those desperate to stay as performers continue to tour without fanfare or support. Those willing to work on peripheral have to learn the formal side of music and the biz. You can make bank as a session musician, though a lot of times, you'll find yourself not being credited. Or getting more involved behind the scenes from biz to tech. Or thinking in advance about the kind of trad. day jobs that have pay well enough to support your endeavors but open enough schedules/gigs that it doesn't hurt your resume when you switch back and forth.

But as a crotchy ol' fug, my usual eyeroll is that none of these prissy little bitches have had to take a shit in a coffee can in the back of a van in 100 degree weather in front of bandmates and crew. It's my walked to school in the snow, both ways, uphill. . . Sisyphus rant.

by Anonymousreply 159June 20, 2022 1:45 AM

The realization that the movie, Signs is 20 years old.

by Anonymousreply 160June 20, 2022 1:51 AM

R159: I love "old school" rap - LL, Doug E Fresh, Salt n Pepa, Monie Love, Patra, Vanilla Ice, Public Enemy, Queen Latifa, MC Lyte, Busta Rhymes... HATE the new stuff! - too raunchy, explicit and unoriginal. But what does middle-aged me know?

by Anonymousreply 161June 20, 2022 1:52 AM

I love Ed Sheeran and his white boy rap

by Anonymousreply 162June 20, 2022 1:53 AM

Sold house and moved to condo so I don't have to shovel snow or mow lawn.

by Anonymousreply 163June 20, 2022 1:58 AM

R159 That's a lot of words.

by Anonymousreply 164June 20, 2022 1:59 AM

You don't bother starting threads anymore because you can predict the same bitchy responses

by Anonymousreply 165June 20, 2022 2:42 AM

Yes r159 posted a lot of words. But they’re cherce, r164.

by Anonymousreply 166June 20, 2022 2:56 AM

You don't know what a lizzo is and you don't care to find out.

by Anonymousreply 167June 20, 2022 3:05 AM

When the list of people you don't like is longer than the list of people you do like.

by Anonymousreply 168June 20, 2022 2:28 PM

Long hairs in and on the ears that sprout over night.

by Anonymousreply 169June 20, 2022 4:48 PM

You think "all the music in the world is now rap and hip-hop."

by Anonymousreply 170June 20, 2022 6:44 PM

You suddenly doze off for an hour mid-day.

by Anonymousreply 171June 20, 2022 6:58 PM

You catch yourself in a nasty, bigoted thought. All those bullshit words are still there.

by Anonymousreply 172June 21, 2022 1:07 AM

Those ugly tweedy reclining chairs that you see advertised for old folk suddenly seem like maybe a good idea. When I visit my mother who is 85 for the weekend the bath tub has a grab bar above it. I’ve actually started to use it when heaving myself out of the bath. If I knew I would never again have a visitor to my apartment I would get one for sure.

by Anonymousreply 173June 21, 2022 7:20 AM

You click WW in this thread more than you have clicked WW in all threads this year.

by Anonymousreply 174June 21, 2022 7:48 AM

Lace-up shoes no longer work for you.

by Anonymousreply 175June 21, 2022 7:56 AM

80% of your thoughts are negative and bitter.

by Anonymousreply 176June 21, 2022 10:27 AM

You realize Mom was right: You do miss her once she's gone.

by Anonymousreply 177June 21, 2022 10:36 AM

No gay under 50 gets your John Waters, Nellie Oleson, or Mommie Dearest references.

by Anonymousreply 178June 21, 2022 10:44 AM

I was born in 1958. The other day I realized that if I counted my age backward (I'm 63) from my birth, the year would be 1895.

by Anonymousreply 179June 21, 2022 11:35 AM

"I've reached the age when I've seen more yesterdays than I will of tomorrows."

- Bill Clinton of his 50th birthday

That about sums it up for me.

by Anonymousreply 180June 21, 2022 11:49 AM

R176- Oh honey, that was me at twelve.

by Anonymousreply 181June 21, 2022 12:35 PM

When the end of World War II is half as close to your birth year as present day.

by Anonymousreply 182June 21, 2022 12:49 PM

You sing to the music being played in the grocery store. I went food shopping on Sunday. They played "Stoned Love" and I damn near did a Soul Train line dance down the aisle! There was another Black woman in the aisle also enjoying the song. At one point, we were singing a duet and laughing. The White woman in the aisle just looked at us and kept going.

You check your 401k or other retirement funds on an almost daily basis and try not to cry at how much you've lost.

Friends call to make plans for dinner and you say yes, only you wish you'd said no. You really want to be home by 9 pm so you can watch a movie on TCM.

Scrolling to your birth year on websites. You realize how quickly the years REALLY have flown by as you keep going to find your birth year.

I'll be 60 on Thursday. Wednesday will be the last time I can check the "50-59" age bracket on surveys.

by Anonymousreply 183June 21, 2022 2:31 PM

I met my friend in Junior high school in 1978. I do weird stuff like- If I met my friend in 1938 it would now be 1982- which demonstrates just how long ago 1978 was.

by Anonymousreply 184June 21, 2022 2:38 PM

The cops you see are all too young for their jobs.

by Anonymousreply 185June 21, 2022 2:46 PM

My collection of little hotel soap bars and shampoo bottles is going to outlast me.

by Anonymousreply 186June 21, 2022 2:48 PM

You get tired of asking people to repeat themselves, so you just start nodding to everyone instead, hoping you're not agreeing to anything too bad or expensive.

by Anonymousreply 187June 21, 2022 2:53 PM

Your parents are still alive and almost 100.

by Anonymousreply 188June 21, 2022 3:05 PM

I always feel uncomfortable listening to modern pop music. It feels like I’m eavesdropping on two young people having an intimate conversation.

by Anonymousreply 189June 21, 2022 3:05 PM

When you wear a short robe to take out the garbage and as you bend over to assemble the trash, the twins want to come out and say hi to the neighbors.

by Anonymousreply 190June 21, 2022 3:05 PM

When you leave stuff on the floor until there’s more piled up (I.e. shoes, coins) because bending down to pick up stuff is a severely grunting chore.

by Anonymousreply 191June 21, 2022 3:07 PM

When you can’t name one single artist being played on the pop/hot 100/top 40 stations.

by Anonymousreply 192June 21, 2022 3:08 PM

When you can describe in full detail what you were wearing and who you went with to your first gay club, a Donna Summer concert, or your first day in college, but you can’t remember what you had for breakfast or if you brushed your teeth.

by Anonymousreply 193June 21, 2022 3:11 PM

To R183, HAPPY 60TH BIRTHDAY (though it is Thursday) My 61th Birthday is Wednesday- I am amazed I lived past 25 yrs old. BTW, I always check the 50-59 age bracket on surveys (sometimes I check the 40 to 49 yr. box just to fuck up the survey).

My advise..."Don't sweat the small stuff"

by Anonymousreply 194June 21, 2022 3:13 PM

Only knowing what day it is because of your pill case.

by Anonymousreply 195June 21, 2022 3:17 PM

R193 So True! Long-term memory is great, but short-term memory is shot!!

by Anonymousreply 196June 21, 2022 3:25 PM

Having to look at my cellphone to see what day and date it is. I have paper calendars to record appointments and such, but I cannot rely on them to determine what day it is, since that is THE question. Is it Tuesday, Friday?

The phone is always correct. 🎉

by Anonymousreply 197June 21, 2022 3:30 PM

Thank you, R194! Happy Birthday to you, too! It's not that I never thought I'd be 60 but it is a bit of a head rush.

I usually don't work on my birthday and had planned to take a long weekend. But my coworker wanted to the week off to take his son and is son's friend (the kids are both 7) to Hersey Park or Lego Land or some other rugrat heaven. So I said I'd back him up and take care of his clients while he's away. My boss scheduled a "meeting" for Thursday morning at 9:30 am. Surprise, surprise!

by Anonymousreply 198June 21, 2022 3:32 PM

What is a weekend?

by Anonymousreply 199June 21, 2022 4:28 PM

When you say “What’s that?” more than 10 times a day.

by Anonymousreply 200June 21, 2022 5:32 PM

I go to bed so much earlier, I want to eat at 5:00 so my food will have half a chance to be digested while I'm still in an upright position.

by Anonymousreply 201June 21, 2022 5:55 PM

Mandatory 2 hr afternoon nap.

by Anonymousreply 202June 21, 2022 5:59 PM

You become acutely aware when you go to a place when the entire hipster crowd is younger than not only you but your younger husband and neither of you fit that criteria.

Some of these younger people talk to you like it's a novelty. Gee whiz! These people know things and have lives! And they have the same tech as we do! (rolls eyes)

That going to bed on time and feeling good in the morning is better than staying up late partying and having a shitty hangover day, which your old self can't handle too well now.

Post-exercise, post-sex, post-vacation and post-guests are all things you plan for now. You need a buffer.

by Anonymousreply 203June 21, 2022 6:08 PM

Every gay man in their 60s is really really lucky.

by Anonymousreply 204June 21, 2022 6:10 PM

When you wonder if your kittens will outlive you

by Anonymousreply 205June 21, 2022 6:44 PM

When you realize you've always played the shop girl who made something of herself, and your rotten crooked lawyer boyfriend who supplies the grease that makes this shitty movie business run, reminds you that you're not that little shop girl anymore.

by Anonymousreply 206June 21, 2022 6:47 PM

You stop buying green bananas.

by Anonymousreply 207June 21, 2022 7:11 PM

When you know the pharmacists at CVS by name. And they no longer need to ask for your birth date.

by Anonymousreply 208June 21, 2022 8:58 PM

When you're in the checkout line and the clerk says, "Oh, great news! You qualify for our 'life experience' discount!"

by Anonymousreply 209June 21, 2022 9:03 PM

I was going to post when every guy you masturbate to is over forty, but that's been the case for me since I was a teenager

by Anonymousreply 210June 21, 2022 9:06 PM

The exact moment I felt older was when someone asked me what year the coin was that I was holding and I couldn't tell him

by Anonymousreply 211June 21, 2022 9:08 PM

R211 ??? I don't get it. Who asks about the year of coins? Were you holding a dubloon?

by Anonymousreply 212June 21, 2022 9:09 PM

R212 Eyesight, dear. The dates on coins are written in very small print.

by Anonymousreply 213June 21, 2022 9:12 PM

R213- Any datalounge queen who uses dear in a sentence is GETTING OLD.

by Anonymousreply 214June 21, 2022 9:40 PM

R214 You're catching on to the theme of this thread, honeybun.

by Anonymousreply 215June 21, 2022 9:42 PM

Your colon insists on not functioning like when you were a teenager.

by Anonymousreply 216June 21, 2022 9:51 PM

R215- Anyone who uses HONEYBUN in a sentence is turning into an old SOUTHERN queen.

by Anonymousreply 217June 21, 2022 11:19 PM

R217 You're learning, punkin!

by Anonymousreply 218June 22, 2022 12:07 AM

I had a great example to tell and it slipped my mind.

by Anonymousreply 219June 22, 2022 5:25 AM

Night driving - you swear it’s the new street lights’ fault.

by Anonymousreply 220June 22, 2022 5:27 AM

You go to the kitchen or another room for something but you forgotten what when you get there.

by Anonymousreply 221June 22, 2022 5:27 AM

You feel good about the way you look standing up shirtless in front of the mirror … and then you sit down, when your collagen starved body decides to spread all over your middle.

by Anonymousreply 222June 22, 2022 5:28 AM

R221 And do it two or three times until you finally remember what it is you want from or you're doing in that room.

by Anonymousreply 223June 22, 2022 5:31 AM

Two words: hip replacement,

by Anonymousreply 224June 22, 2022 5:32 AM

You don’t enjoy driving at night.

by Anonymousreply 225June 22, 2022 5:33 AM

For the multi-linguals: you blank out in all languages, can't remember what the object is called in any language, including English.

by Anonymousreply 226June 22, 2022 5:33 AM

You hear the word “hip” and being cool is not the first thing that comes to mind.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 227June 22, 2022 5:37 AM

When someone call you senile.

by Anonymousreply 228June 22, 2022 5:38 AM

When you can't fill out a form because the pull-down menu doesn't list your birth year.

by Anonymousreply 229June 22, 2022 9:22 AM

You have one of these in almost every room. You’re even thinking of getting one for the car!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 230June 22, 2022 9:56 AM

You start Googling old folks homes.

Oh my God, no. No way.

You have a drink. A big one.

Then fall asleep. Because it's so much better than lying there pondering what the future holds.

by Anonymousreply 231June 22, 2022 10:01 AM

You stop reading books.

by Anonymousreply 232June 22, 2022 10:44 AM

You find yourself tuning into the oldies radio stations.

by Anonymousreply 233June 22, 2022 11:13 AM

You constantly return to shows like Buffy and pretend it's still the nineties. You dislike most popular music. Baristas stare at you like they think you're going to keel over when you order a coffee.

by Anonymousreply 234June 22, 2022 11:14 AM

You keep talking about the good ole days

by Anonymousreply 235June 22, 2022 12:11 PM

R231- You sound like a character in Andrew Holleran's latest book.

by Anonymousreply 236June 22, 2022 12:51 PM

You don't recognize yourself in mirrors outside of your home.

by Anonymousreply 237June 22, 2022 12:51 PM

This is a serious one:

I've noticed that I've lost my natural easy smile in photos and see that's true of a lots of elder people.

by Anonymousreply 238June 22, 2022 12:53 PM

You do sit ups and other floor exercises every day but still have trouble getting up off the floor each time.

by Anonymousreply 239June 22, 2022 12:54 PM

You decide it's finally time to call your sister, when you haven't spoken for 30 years after what she said to you at that picnic. But only because you can no longer remember her exact words.

by Anonymousreply 240June 22, 2022 1:01 PM

See if you are going to die in within the next 10 years (for 50's and over only). I'm sure it is a load of bullshit though.

I did it multiple times with each leg and had no issues.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 241June 22, 2022 1:53 PM

When you pull out of diving competitions for a year to rest and spend time with your family.

by Anonymousreply 242June 22, 2022 1:59 PM

I can never tell if I'm having heart burn, constipation, heart attack or just overall body pain. I also don't sleep much anymore and it sucks.

by Anonymousreply 243June 22, 2022 2:12 PM

Thanks r230. I ordered the Grabber Plus. There are so many to choose from.

r232, I've been using a Kindle since 2011, IIRC (I type IIRC a lot).

I'll order the kindle version, r236. Thanks for the reminder that the Holleran book is out. I'll order it today.

by Anonymousreply 244June 22, 2022 2:13 PM

It used to be, when people would find out how old I am they would say "Wow! you look *at least* 10 years younger!" Nowadays, they usually whistle, and say, "That's IMPOSSIBLE!! You look like someone TWENTY-FIVE years younger than that!!"

by Anonymousreply 245June 22, 2022 2:32 PM

Reading glasses tucked away all over the place. You can't do anything without them but you're always putting them down somewhere forgotten.

by Anonymousreply 246June 22, 2022 2:44 PM

^Reading glasses, computer glasses, driving glasses, ad nauseam. AND you have to turn on every light in any room after sundown, to be able to feel like you aren't going blind.

by Anonymousreply 247June 22, 2022 3:02 PM

R247 And they only sell 100w bulbs when you want 250w.

by Anonymousreply 248June 22, 2022 3:25 PM

I turn 51 next month, and I'd say that's a pretty good sign.

by Anonymousreply 249June 22, 2022 3:37 PM

I'm tired ALL day EVERYDAY

by Anonymousreply 250June 22, 2022 7:22 PM

My partner is on a business trip, so I sent him a dick pic and noticed that I have a LOT of grey pubic hair. I immediately ordered a personal shaver from Amazon. Fuck that. He has light hair, so his are barely visible. Mine really stand out. I have been working 50-60 hour weeks, and I guess it’s taking a toll on my dick. I’m 42.

by Anonymousreply 251June 22, 2022 7:34 PM

You accept that your hemorrhoids will now have to suffice as your G spot.

by Anonymousreply 252June 22, 2022 7:44 PM

Gen Xers are now well into senior citizen territory. They can get the discount at McD's now. LOL. They are the thing they always hated. They survived the aids but will they survive facial wasting and bone loss.

by Anonymousreply 253June 22, 2022 8:51 PM

R253- shut up

by Anonymousreply 254June 22, 2022 9:08 PM

At least we can hold conversations, R253, and aren't married to our phones. Is your Meme giving you a GOOD time?

by Anonymousreply 255June 22, 2022 9:15 PM

Getting out of the car can be a dangerous health hazard.

by Anonymousreply 256June 22, 2022 11:47 PM

R38- Someone who was only 10 years old in 1992 is now FORTY.

by Anonymousreply 257June 23, 2022 12:46 AM

Oh shut up, R38

by Anonymousreply 258June 23, 2022 3:47 AM

R254 Are you supposed to be a Gen Xer, retard fuckhead. Shut up! is such a 5 years old comeback. Fucking cunt.

by Anonymousreply 259June 23, 2022 3:54 AM

I wouldn't put too much confidence in R241's study.

[quote]The study sampled 1702 participants aged between 51 and 75. Two thirds of the cohort were men.

As usual, it oversampled men. All men, but especially old men who almost all seem to be shaped like a potato with toothpick legs, have balance issues. They also drop dead a lot once they are over 50.

by Anonymousreply 260June 23, 2022 4:10 AM

Wriggling out of my skinny jeans each night can be treacherous!

by Anonymousreply 261June 23, 2022 4:17 AM

The dick knows his business, but the whole prostate/colon/bladder cabal dictates my day as well as my diet.

by Anonymousreply 262June 23, 2022 4:25 AM

What happened with popcorn, R262?

by Anonymousreply 263June 23, 2022 4:42 AM

When you are out of fucks to give.

by Anonymousreply 264June 23, 2022 5:04 AM

R244 as someone with a lot of back problems those grabbers are a lifesaver! I’d rather use them than risk throwing out my back bending over to pick something up. You can find good prices on Amazon. I even bought one with a little light at the end!

by Anonymousreply 265June 23, 2022 9:39 AM

The kids start referring to you as sir or ma’am.

by Anonymousreply 266June 23, 2022 10:25 AM

^The OLD people start referring to you as Sir or Ma'am

by Anonymousreply 267June 23, 2022 12:25 PM

You're no longer steady enough on your feet to climb on a chair and change a light bulb.

by Anonymousreply 268June 23, 2022 1:08 PM

I don’t remember how many men I’ve had sex with

by Anonymousreply 269June 23, 2022 1:12 PM

You start realizing how your own country is based on feeding people's addictions nonstop. Booze, coffee, sugar, internet, gambling, etc. Why pay so much for a coffee when you can go home, put on slippers, make some, or even better, a nice cup of tea.

by Anonymousreply 270June 23, 2022 1:25 PM

I've never liked buying coffee out. What I make at home, Peet's Major Dickason through a Melitta cone & filter, is so much better. I make one cup at a time.

by Anonymousreply 271June 23, 2022 2:07 PM

This thread is depressing AF! Outside of reading glasses, graying hair and forgetfulness at times (fixed with Prevagen!), it is not THAT bad.

by Anonymousreply 272June 23, 2022 2:11 PM

When 90% of the reviews you write on the IMDb are for films made before 1990, and 90% of the films you review made after 1990 you pan.

by Anonymousreply 273June 23, 2022 2:12 PM

Does Prevagen really work? Is that the drug that Sas and her hubby hawk?

by Anonymousreply 274June 23, 2022 2:14 PM

R274, 1 extra strength Prev chewable with a 120 mg Ginkgo cap works wonders for me!

by Anonymousreply 275June 23, 2022 2:17 PM

You start noticing really hot beautiful young men at your club or gym who are totally inappropriate because of their age and because you are long time friends of their parents. This really becomes a problem in your late 50s.

by Anonymousreply 276June 23, 2022 2:22 PM

You start noticing the selfishness of young people and how they seem to have all the warmth and fuzziness of ice cubes.

by Anonymousreply 277June 23, 2022 2:27 PM

R221, That's how I know gotta stop using coke. I'm 33 and that happens to me quite often. 2 weeks strong guys.

by Anonymousreply 278June 23, 2022 4:06 PM

r287. if you're 33 it's a bad sign that you're reading this thread.

by Anonymousreply 279June 23, 2022 4:30 PM

R272 You keep telling yourself that…

by Anonymousreply 280June 24, 2022 5:21 AM

When the music of your youth is being played, not in the oldies station, but in the classical music station.

by Anonymousreply 281June 25, 2022 7:29 AM

Oh honey, R269, I could not remember that at 30.

by Anonymousreply 282June 26, 2022 7:33 PM

When you can't find your reading glasses and they are not in their usual places. So you get in a panic looking all over for them. You start cussing and are on the verge of tears, close to having a nervous breakdown. Then a couple hours later, when you have to go pee, you see your reflection in the mirror and the were on top of your head the whole time.

by Anonymousreply 283June 26, 2022 7:45 PM

You try to get on the interstate using the off ramp.

by Anonymousreply 284June 26, 2022 7:54 PM

When you watch walkabout videos of places like Paris or Rome and think "Done that, no thanks!"

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 285June 26, 2022 8:06 PM

Your texts start looking like this and you,re too vision impaired to to notice..

I'm the one who has been meaning to get my eyes checked since before Covid. I will be out of town next week, but I am going in for an eye test the week after, promise.

by Anonymousreply 286June 26, 2022 8:12 PM

R282- Sit down 🪑. We need to talk.

You're a WHORE darlin.

by Anonymousreply 287June 26, 2022 8:14 PM

^autocorrect fixed some of it, but you get the idea. Double spaces between words, random periods midsentence, double periods at the end, and so on.

by Anonymousreply 288June 26, 2022 8:15 PM

R284, oh my. You should not be driving anymore.

by Anonymousreply 289June 26, 2022 8:22 PM

[quote]I don’t remember how many men I’ve had sex with

I reached that milestone at age 25

by Anonymousreply 290June 26, 2022 8:34 PM

Your bulging Grave’s disease eyeballs are the only bulge you have left.

by Anonymousreply 291June 26, 2022 9:40 PM

Your fingers feel stiff and swollen after typing for a few hours

by Anonymousreply 292June 26, 2022 10:22 PM

R284, I am going to track down your IP address. You should be forbidden from driving. Pls make this easy on yourself.

by Anonymousreply 293June 26, 2022 10:34 PM

[quote]My advise..."Don't sweat the small stuff"

My advice: learn how to spell correctly.

by Anonymousreply 294June 26, 2022 11:47 PM

You are a slut, R290!

by Anonymousreply 295June 27, 2022 2:00 AM

R295 And he wears it like a badge of honour.

by Anonymousreply 296June 27, 2022 3:14 PM

Threading a needle becomes quite an achievement.

by Anonymousreply 297June 28, 2022 1:14 AM

I'm on Data Lounge.

by Anonymousreply 298June 28, 2022 1:25 AM

When your eyebrows start turning gray/silver/white

by Anonymousreply 299June 28, 2022 2:09 AM

When the gayest part of your eyebrow decides to grow at a faster rate than your nose hair.

by Anonymousreply 300June 28, 2022 4:07 AM

You can't stand the sound of music in any store- restaurant, Trader Joe's etc

by Anonymousreply 301June 28, 2022 12:53 PM

R283: One time recently I was in a fury about not being able to find my reading glasses, and I reached the point where, all alone in my house, I started screaming "WHERE ARE MY READING GLASSES?!!" I suddenly became aware that I was actually holding them in my left hand. For real...

by Anonymousreply 302June 28, 2022 2:32 PM

^ So done that, although they were hanging from the collar of my t-shirt, where I usually put them so I won't forget where they are....

by Anonymousreply 303June 28, 2022 2:37 PM

The shock of learning, whatever you do, no matter what you imagined or what you ignored, the body and brain actually do start to slow down.

The lyrics to The Man that Got Away are actually a great allegory for aging, and particularly so for the gay man.

by Anonymousreply 304June 28, 2022 2:41 PM

R304, I recently did something similar with the iPhone. I put it on the table, went to get some water and, when I came back, I couldn't find it. The screen had gone dark it does and it was on a dark table. I wasn't gone that long though! I shouldn't have misplaced it.

by Anonymousreply 305June 28, 2022 3:15 PM

The owner has installed a Nest thermostat in your AirBnB and you can’t fucking figure out how to override the owner's settings.

by Anonymousreply 306June 29, 2022 9:39 AM

We know what you mean, Miss r290!

We recently tried to count our ex-husbands,,,,the number came to 7!

by Anonymousreply 307June 29, 2022 12:22 PM

Did I already say this? Every year my date from birth years increase. This means I am getting older.

by Anonymousreply 308June 29, 2022 1:29 PM

I used to belong to an outdoors group in NYC called Sundance- I've very recently rejoined but have not been on an outing yet) I would go to these Sundance parties- The Christmas party and or the Sundance Anniversary party and these queens that I never met would be so NASTY towards me for no reason. This happened a number of times. I understand now. They were over the hill and were FURIOUS that they couldn't attract men anymore or at least guys that they were attracted to. They took it out on me- not that I was some sort of SUPER stud but I was considerably younger and more attractive than them. I stopped going to those parties/gatherings because I did not want to be the victim of their VENOM. I'm trying to avoid that kind of bitterness myself nowadays. I don't want to become a BITTER OLD QUEEN like the ones I used to encounter at Sundance. Unfortunately there are PLENTY of bitter old queens here on datalounge too.

by Anonymousreply 309June 29, 2022 1:38 PM

Discovering that I'm 10 years older than some bald, decrepit old geezer newscaster I'd been referring to as "that old news guy."

by Anonymousreply 310June 29, 2022 1:40 PM

All my public hairy has fallen out.

The hair on my head remains as thick as ever, ditto under my arms but my bush is gone and I'm not even 60.

by Anonymousreply 311June 29, 2022 2:35 PM

R311 why is your pubic hair public. Your such a whore.

by Anonymousreply 312June 29, 2022 2:37 PM

^My nephews have ragged me for shaving my legs for years because they went stone bald years ago.

by Anonymousreply 313June 29, 2022 2:37 PM

Huh OP? Get the fuck off my social media!!

by Anonymousreply 314June 29, 2022 2:39 PM

You enjoy peace and quiet

by Anonymousreply 315June 29, 2022 2:53 PM

When the gray pubes are starting to outnumber the brown ones.

by Anonymousreply 316June 29, 2022 2:57 PM

When the salesclerk recommends a particular item because it’s the one his parents like

by Anonymousreply 317June 30, 2022 12:46 AM

Give us an example, R317.

by Anonymousreply 318June 30, 2022 6:21 AM

You get together with friends... and end up discussing politics.

by Anonymousreply 319June 30, 2022 6:24 AM

All the little things you need to do to keep your life in order start to seem like a big chore. And you begin to understand why your kin spent their last years in a rest home happily parked in front of the TV.

by Anonymousreply 320June 30, 2022 8:21 AM

[quote] I started screaming "WHERE ARE MY READING GLASSES?!!" I suddenly became aware that I was actually holding them in my left hand. For real...

wallet, smartphone, sun glasses. Definitely real. Definitely a geezer moment.

by Anonymousreply 321June 30, 2022 8:30 AM

I stopped going to parties about 7 or 8 years ago, including almost all dinner parties, because I realized that "adults" bore the living shit out of me, and I would MUCH rather be fast asleep by 10:00 than listening to conversation that is about as interesting as what goes on at any business meeting.

by Anonymousreply 322June 30, 2022 11:52 AM

You agree with Clarence Thomas and babble on about the good old days

by Anonymousreply 323June 30, 2022 12:18 PM

Phrases from Frank Zappa, David Byrne, and oddly enough Tanya Tucker pop into your brain when young, fiery, social workers discuss our shithole system.

by Anonymousreply 324June 30, 2022 1:02 PM

At times you feel content to just let life pass you by and let others get on with it.

by Anonymousreply 325June 30, 2022 2:13 PM

R319, Polident, Metamucil, Depends...

by Anonymousreply 326June 30, 2022 2:15 PM

Sorry, ^ was for R318.

I'm old

by Anonymousreply 327June 30, 2022 2:16 PM

R326 r327

by Anonymousreply 328June 30, 2022 2:59 PM

Hi R328! Made you post R329. Grow up.

by Anonymousreply 329June 30, 2022 3:13 PM

R329 - what exactly are you trying to convey to R328 R326 & R327? I just don't get it, R329.

by Anonymousreply 330June 30, 2022 3:18 PM

R330: just you have me blocked, evidently, but then you post the Rs to read it anyway. It's pathetic.

by Anonymousreply 331June 30, 2022 3:36 PM

R318, iPhone case at Staples

by Anonymousreply 332June 30, 2022 11:53 PM

Technology upgrades and related system changes at work fill you with dread and resentment.

by Anonymousreply 333July 1, 2022 12:54 AM

People in their thirties call you "sir."

by Anonymousreply 334July 1, 2022 1:15 AM

My tots are to my knees

by Anonymousreply 335July 1, 2022 1:19 AM

^^tits

by Anonymousreply 336July 1, 2022 1:20 AM

R67 Well damn, you've got to be one of our most elderly Eldergays if you're older than him.

by Anonymousreply 337July 1, 2022 1:35 AM

R337- No, I'm MUCH younger than my doctor.

by Anonymousreply 338July 1, 2022 1:44 AM

My semen used to shoot 3-4 feet. And this distance lasted for many, many years. Now I have to edge for a long time to get that kind of distance nowadays.

by Anonymousreply 339July 1, 2022 2:09 AM

R339 should be posted to the "Describe something mundane that should be classified as a sport" thread.

by Anonymousreply 340July 1, 2022 3:33 AM

R339 Speaking of dribble.... ok, pissing, we're done... oh, we're not done... oh, we're done... wait, what the fuck, we're not done....

(I hate this thread)

by Anonymousreply 341July 1, 2022 3:51 AM

R341 has trouble even dribbling.

by Anonymousreply 342July 1, 2022 4:24 AM

“But, wait, here’s a last slow trickle. Oh, now the pants are up and zipped. We could pee agsin. This was more of a pre-piss. I mean, we could wait a half hour, but we are here and all,”

My bladder and penis have teamed up to get as much bathroom air as possible.

by Anonymousreply 343July 1, 2022 5:19 AM

When I was young and beautiful I used to see middle aged and older people standing in line or crossing the parking lot (I worked at Target) with their faces all screwed up -- grimacing or squinting, frowning with a furrowed brow-- sometimes all the above, and I would wonder how people could walk around in public with those crazy ass expressions. Did they have no self-awareness? Didn't they practice their 'public expressions' in the mirror as I had?

Now I have to remind myself to relax my face (but not too much!) when my sciatica is flaring up and the sun is in my eyes as I am pushing the cart back to the cart corral. You can't imagine at 16 what it feels like 30, 40, 50 years later. Your only priority is looking good.

by Anonymousreply 344July 1, 2022 5:49 AM

When you notice everywhere you go, to stores, restaurants, streets seem to be filled with young people. No old people to bee seen until you catch a gimps of yourself in the window reflection.

by Anonymousreply 345July 1, 2022 5:55 AM

Your fellow Dataloungers type things like this at you when you relate an experience from the past:

[quote]How old ARE you, OP?

by Anonymousreply 346July 1, 2022 8:40 AM

R319, or worse, the aches and pains you all have and what you take for them.

I've noticed that I now start waking up before my alarm. It's set for 6:15 am but, more often than not, I'm awake between 5:30 and 6:10 am. I remember being someone who could sleep through their alarm or, on weekends, not set it and wake up at 8 am.

by Anonymousreply 347July 1, 2022 12:22 PM

[quote]When you notice everywhere you go, to stores, restaurants, streets seem to be filled with young people. No old people to bee seen until you catch a gimps of yourself in the window reflection.

Same here, apart from the reflection thing which I avoid.

by Anonymousreply 348July 1, 2022 12:29 PM

R348 - You sound like a character in an Andrew Holleran novel.

by Anonymousreply 349July 1, 2022 12:31 PM

Your analogy is lost on me, R349, but I'm sure it's complimentary.

by Anonymousreply 350July 1, 2022 12:43 PM

Andrew Holleran has been bitching about being a single, "left alone," lonely OLD Gay ever since, at least, the late 1970s. I wouldn't pay him too much attention, and in fact haven't in about 4 decades now. Is he still kicking?

by Anonymousreply 351July 1, 2022 2:23 PM

R351 Yes, Holleran is still alive, complaining that he can't score in the bars...

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 352July 1, 2022 2:31 PM

That's Alexander Imich, onetime world's oldest man, r352, who died at 111 in 2014.

Is it fun being an asshole?

by Anonymousreply 353July 1, 2022 2:38 PM

R352- Can you still score in the bars?

by Anonymousreply 354July 1, 2022 2:47 PM

How do you know that, R353???

by Anonymousreply 355July 1, 2022 2:52 PM

R353 R354 Oh, Rose, you're so stuck up....

by Anonymousreply 356July 1, 2022 4:02 PM

I was upset when I turned 25. Complained to family, friends, then bf that I was a quarter of a century and old!😅 To be young and dumb again.

by Anonymousreply 357July 1, 2022 5:21 PM
Loading
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.

×

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!