Let's be a small town Pride party!

I'm the watery 'specialty cocktail' no one is drinking.

Why does every gay bar have to have drag acts?

I'm Fred, the longtime regular who gripes, "Why does every gay bar have to have drag acts? "

I'm Caiti with two eyes. Get it? I'm nonbinary. I'm helping organize. I have a clipboard. Have I mentioned I'm nonbinary?

I’m the pity fuck. Later, the town stud (who’s an NYC 5 at best) will get even drunker than usual and dole me out to this year’s Pride hopeless case.

I'm LA. I'm just a short drive away. But why do I feel so very, very far?

I’m the two chorus boys who are on an overnight day off as part of their bus and truck (think fourth national tour) production of Chicago. Since we hail from New York (well, really Jersey City as we can’t afford NYC rents) and are being treated like hot royalty, we think we’re above it all, but then again, we’re in a Fourth National Tour Bus and Truck Production of a tired show that’s playing in venues like Harrisburg, Toledo and Baton Rouge.

I'm the closeted town selectman who is not ready to come out. Everyone assumes that I am gay. I put a lot of time and effort in organizing the Pride party.

I’m the young, bulbous shaped chub who’s dyed my hair multiple shades of dull rainbow color to “celebrate pride”. I have a pierced lip and wear a teeny tiny backpack wherever I go. I don’t have enough cash for the clubs but I hang out around all the festivities and you will see me EVERYWHERE, constantly, over the next week. After 8pm I’m meeting up with my friend Caiti, who’s just a little more chubby than me but has a cuter teeny tiny backpack. We’re gonna rat around town all night, laughing and whispering about all the goings on, while secretly hoping that somebody, ANYBODY will show interest in one of us. But they won’t. They ever do. Oh, Caiti’s non-binary!

I'm the gay from a town of 1,200, glad I'm somewhere that has any kind of Pride Party at all. I've filled the jukebox with the angstiest songs I can find.

I'm the "I'm on Prep" lie.

This happening. It’s inspirational.

THREAD CLOSED

I'm the "old" Pride flag with wrinkled you can't iron out.

I'm the moment of silence to commemorate the Pulse shooting victims, interrupted by Ralph's phone ringing.

I'm We Are Family.

I will be played ad nauseam because I am considered a gay anthem.

Is that Totie Fields?

We're the fag hags! Basically lardos with cat eye glasses. We live vicariously through the few gays who haven't left this one horse town or those that have returned here in their dotage. We resemble this heap.

I'm the Sunday afternoon beer bust (3-5 pm ONLY) that's a benefit for next year's Pride.

Five bucks gets you all the watery keg Miller Light you want in an event called "Drinkin' With Lincoln."

We're a couple of twinks taking selfies with the olds and a Black to make our social media profiles looks diverse, for a day.

I'm the undercurrent of desperate boredom. You'll only get a brief, bright respite from me during the celebrations this month.

I'm the "trans pride" flag that's replaced the REAL pride flag at the primary (and only) gay club in town. The aged bar owner wasn't able to get Amazon to guarantee delivery of that new, "inclusive" pride flag by pride week, so he accepted one of the many pink, blue and white striped flags from the LGBTQ club at the county community college. Flying this tacky shit instead of the original pride flag will hold off the barrage of shrieks, screams and yells we'd inevitably get from the fatty GenZ'ers who'd insist we were being anti-trans for not representing their tiny but violently deranged demographic.

I'm the rednecks driving by shouting "QUEERS!".

I'm the 18 year old lesbian "artist". You can imagine what I produce. It's on display and on the FB page devoted to the celebration.

We are the eight grey haired and very nice members of tiny St Stephen's Episcopal Church, the only church in town welcoming the gays. We're marching behind some sort of churchy banner.

I'm a Datalounge troll. I'll hijack thread after thread rambling about the "Stalinist left" when dozens of Proud Boys show up to the small town gay bar in a U-Haul packed with guns and ammo.

We're official Stoli brand bar mats. We get soggy, and apparently no one's boycotting Russian vodka tonight, or any night.

We're the state capitol complex which the march goes by. We're in the background of most Southern and Western states' photos of Pride Marches cause gays are not welcome to march in the other shithole towns.

"You going up to Charleston for the West Virginia Pride March, Billy Bob ?"

Is this the same gay bar in Pasadena WAY BACK in 1976 that Willie’s friend Zeke was arrested in?

I'm the confused and scared 14 year old who stands a distance away from the parade but can see it enough to want to just jump in and be a part of it. I told my parents I'd be over at my friend Judy's house even though I know Judy and her family are out of town. The drag queens sorta scare me but I love the three muscle guys who represent the new small gym they opened recently.

I'm the smug NYC gay village barfly who goes to the small town pride parade to make fun of the unsophisticated little hicks.

^ and then falls in love with a ruggedly handsome local guy who owns the hardware store?

...played by Luke Macfarlene.

lane; Macfarlane!

Aw. I ❤️ R30

Oh R30 / Dennis - Come hang out with me and R35! I'll give you a gentle introduction to those scary drag queens who are usually pretty funny and are great allies to have. You can sort of "hide" next to me at the parade and watch it without fear of your folks seeing you. Later on I'll ask if you need any cash and make sure you have my phone number and let you know that if anybody dares to raise a hand to you, your parents or someone else, all you need do is call and I'll take care of it. Then I'll offer you a temporary room if you need a place to live. I'll give you lots and lots of "gay uncle" advice, try to teach you the ups and downs and what to look out for. I'll encourage you to go to and finish college and help you get out of town when you're ready. Or, if you want to stay, I'll stand my ground with you as you remake this town in your image of all things good and welcoming. Don't you worry one bit. We've got your back if you need us.

This thread really does need to become a movie.

We're the new transplant couple from New York - no you can't sleep with us an this will be our last time here!

R9 is spot on. Though you could have mentioned the cut off jean shorts with frayed ends, way too small. And the pimple covered legs with no hair and ratty low top Converse canvas shoes that you just know stink. And the roll of neck fat. And the sparse hairs protruding from the ample cheeks and chins.

I'm the lesbians and gay men who are forced to share spaces and organisations but if they lived in a city would not speak or even see each other, and they'd be happier for it.

[quote] This thread really does need to become a movie.

Someone call Christopher Guest.

I'm everyone's sunburns!

I'm the hot guy you walked out of the bad lit dance tent that under normal lighting is an obvious lesbian... and I'm equally shocked getting a good look at the stubble on you. and thinking to myself, I gotta get the fuck out of this town or we need to recruit more people into the ranks.

I'm all your exes because you've been through all the available people, even most of the str8 married ones protesting across the street.

where the lgbt are the normies and the allies are the rainbowpuke cringe. . . was it better or worse when the breeders were just gawkers?

I'm Buffalo Bill and I'm getting wet just looking at the photo above.

I'm the jaded DLer looking on with disdain, making sarcastic remarks to on one in particular because I have no friends. I went to LA for Pride week 18 years ago so I figure that gives me the right to spew venom at anything that fails to meet my exacting standards, even though the people at this small town event are showing great strength and determination to celebrate their gayness, no matter what they look like or how little money they may have.

R42 (and R9) make interesting points. While I don't do Pride stuff anymore, nearly every photo of Pride events I see shows the events overwhelmingly populated by very obese people, young and older. Lots and lots of sweaty tshirts and tank tops. Everyone HAS to wear something rainbow colored or that says "PRIDE!" because, you know, that's the uniform now. Or something.

Pride events also now seem to be populated by a minimum of 50% straight single females, or "woke" straight white people bringing they kids along to "participate". (Hey straight parents. No. We don't need your kids here to affirm us. And we know you're just here to check a box, or to see the "freaks". Go away now).

But the super-chub straight women who like to pretend, for a day, they're bi or lesbian or "non-binary", have really overwhelmed Pride events. Nothing seems to be about actual pride except for the self appointed trannies, who have been the ones to take it over and ruin it. It all looks so forced and miserable. I loathe what Millennials have done to American pop culture and recently achieved soceital advances. And GenY/Zers are continuing it and will completely erase all semblance of the struggle of gay men and women (lesbians) that were fought over and overcome over the last 50 years. The history books will eventually be erased of what Stonewall really was, and what it was like being gay/lesbian/trans (REAL trans)/bi prior to 2000. And we have the media, Mellinnials and GenZ to thank for it. And that is why I hate them.

I'm Special Guest Star Billy Porter and I DEMAND to be paid in cash before I perform because I don't trust to you town-EEES!!!

I also want my own dressing room, 40 bottles of water and complimentary dresses at Pins and Needles on Main Street.

I'm the after-party at the local pub that only those in the community know can find that has gogo boys dressed in nothing but soap suds next to go go girls that look like 1950s greasers that are largely ignored as a wide assortment of lgbt alphabet soup discuss and drink in the standing only pub... plenty of pda, alternative gear blended with suburban and corpoate pride wear because this is the one day they let all their freak hang out. . . it's a spectrum and at the heart of it, most people don't really care because they're not obsessed with the experience of pride because they live it every fucking day. all this is just a "family" reunion.

I'm a stack of Lite Beer baseball caps with tiny rainbows sewn on. Nobody wants one.

I'm roy ,spread eagle amoung the meats and cheese spread at the party, i wonder if they will know that i didnt shower this am because of my massive hangover. PS ..the coolness of the meats and cheese is soothing to my throbbing head.

I don't feel right dunking on small town Prides, they're the most important ones going.

I'm a local woman politician who isn't a lesbian but wears pantsuits and shows her support with a speech and a framed proclamation.

I'm the screaming kids in rainbow tutus locked in their carseats while mom & mommy run in "real quick"..It's been a hour.

I'm the rainbow "House Wines" koozies that someone dug up in the back of the local wine/liquor distributor- they're at least 5 years old and dry rotting but hey- free Pride koozies!

I'm the drag queen who got rejected for the show tonight, and whose name can't even be said aloud!

I'm the guy who's been to several, large scale Prides, in years past. I've always enjoyed myself and was euphoric knowing that I was part of this community. I'm older now, Pride has becoming overwhelming, for me. Though I wholly encourage the younger people to go to Pride and have fun with it. I go to a small Pride party, and it reminds me of my first, pre-corporate, lesbian & gay pride parade. I'm lovin' it, because this is my tribe. After all these years, it's nice to see people happy, but I'm wary of those who say, "We're better than this.", to attempt to ruin it all.

I'm the drunk nonbinary purple-haired gal who just vomited a rainbow margarita on R59's shoes.

I’m the big city gay home, coincidentally, for a family visit. I’ve disappeared for a few hours from the family events supposedly on a beer run.

In actuality, I’m here at the pride bar hoping to spot the hot piece of ass I used to do before I moved away so we can go back to his place.

I'm the small town working class boy now a sophomore at Yale home for summer visit. I came out in senior year of high school the week after I got 3 Ivy League acceptance letters. I drive downtown the night before pride a gay bar on the nasty side of town so I take dads big old Oldsmobile. There are 5 other guys in the bar. 1 old man who looks like a teacher I had in elementary school, the bartender, 2 hideous trolls, and a handsome trash twink of 22 I've never seen before. He went to another high school in the next town. I buy him two beers and we chat. He's rough and sad and already a bit spent but he's the most gorgeous guy I've seen in long while and I want to make love not just fuck. We decide to ride in dad's boat though the farm country west of town and pull into a service road between two fields. We fuck passionately. Then we get out of the car and smoke cigarettes looking at the stars. I think I'm already madly in love with this man. Then we get back in the car and are fucking again. Then there's a cop shining a light in the window. The twink knows the cop and says give us a break its Pride so the cop says alrighty but move it along now boys and though we are young men I kinda like when he says that. We agree to meet at the bar the next day at 5 but he doesn't show and I look around at all the small town people and I think about Yale and my fancy friends and I cry, but not sure why.

I'm the tribute to the most fabulously successful gay man ever to come out of this small community. The Pride committee has written to him in NYC/London/LA, hoping he'd be a grand marshal, but never heard back.

The truth is that — despite his money and fame — he was so bullied and friendless as a child that just the name of his town still causes him pain.

I'm the manager of the Gloria-Patti-Dionne-esque "headliner," Dijonne, demanding full suite accommodations for my client and myself, despite the entire town only having two Best Westerns, a Motel-6 and a run-down B&B Victorian.

[quote] "We're in the background of most Southern and Western states' photos of Pride Marches cause gays are not welcome to march in the other shithole towns."

Specifically where my home state is concerned, there ARE tiny little PRIDE events in smaller places like Charles Town, Fairmont, & Elkins. But it may be a while before we see them in Logan & Boone Counties. The thought of that becoming a reality makes me smirk...and think of all the hot rednecks it will bring out of the West Virginia Hills. "Wild & Wonderful" indeed!

I’m one of a dozen movies made about this very same subject.