There’s a fat frau across the street with a cute husband

OP, does your HOA allow washing your car in your driveway? If so…

I would distract her with an ice cream/pizza truck and casually mention Dorothy Spornak to him.

Always have a banana or popsicle ready to go in and out of your mouth when you see him. A thick Vlasic pickle can work in a pinch.

This is a two visit tasking.

First visit. Engage him. Take some baked good over or some such thing when you see the fat frau leave. Talk to him and find out what he is good at. Men are very handy. There will be something he is good at. What does he fix or handle in his house and what does he call someone to fix.

Second visit. You have a problem in an area he is good at. Wait til fatty is gone then rush over to his house and ask him if he can come look at your plumbing or your inability to connect your light switch to Alexa or whatever your "damsel in distress" issue is. When he comes over to help with your problem make sure there is some porn playing on the tv but turned down low and let nature take its course.

If he is interested he will let you know. If not he will just think you are a perv. Either way it is a win-win because even if he is not interested, he will tell other men. So sooner or later, you will have some dick at your door. lol

WHORE!

Ok I acknowledge that a 27 year old ex marine is probably not responding to “Dorothy Spornak”. You should somehow get him high on meth and bring out the inner pig.

Make your interest and availability clear, OP, but make him come to you.

[quote] Dorothy Spornak

Oh dear!

It’s Dorothy…with a Z!

And gays wonder why they call us predators and why gay panic exists.

R10 And straight men don't think similar things when they see a good looking woman? Double standard much?

No, straight men don't jealously try to "take down" ugly, fat men who have cute girlfriends.

Ask him what he thought of the Super Game. That will show you're interested in sports.

Tell him you just tried this great new beer that you have in your basement and offer him some.

Wear a skin tight shirt.

Act chill and masculine.

R12 Talk to a straight man. Guys are always trying to steal other men's girlfriends and wives. Are you really this naive or so insulated in your "gay world" that you are clueless to what is happening with people outside that world. Besides, who said the cute neighbor is straight?

OP specifically said:

[Quote]I’m planning to liberate him.

That implies that he believes the neighbor to be bisexual or gay in a sham marriage.

Personally, I don't pursue married people but I don't judge others who do. Adults make adult decisions. As long as he is not raping the man, I don't think it is anyone's business what consenting adults do.

OP, no straight man is going to trade in a 37 year old female land whale for a 57 year old male land whale.

If all else fails,

Show hole.

In your bay window . Make sure the lace curtains are drawn.

R16 Don't be gauche!

The proper phrase is "present hole."

Men who marry obese women do not need liberation, they need obese or unattractive spouses because they don't like competition and can't abide the attention a beautiful wife gets. Pick the woman nobody wants and they will be grateful forever, making the man feel like a hero. He won't risk a fling but enjoys people like you, the poster, flirting with them.

The only person "in" the sham marriage is the wife, R14. Trapping women into loveless, often abusive, marriages only to dump them once they've served their usefulness is utterly gross.

Threads like this really does expose the ugly attitudes a good percentage of gay men feel towards women.

R19 People marry for as many different reasons as there are people on the planet. That is a very simplistic view. Who told you that, your fat mother? Human beings are more complex and multi-faceted than that.

Some marry obese women because they know they can mistreat and cheat on them because they will be grateful just to "have" somebody. Don't be naive.

Blanche's fat daughter on Golden Girls was about to marry a douche who emotionally abused her for being fat (but the girls were actually pretty nasty too).

[Quote]Trapping women into loveless, often abusive, marriages only to dump them once they've served their usefulness is utterly gross.

I agree, but do we even know that is what is happening here. Nobody should be abused, but maybe she knows he likes dick. I mean, she has to learn at some point. Women are not as clueless as a lot of men think. Like I said, adults make adult decisions.

As far as gay men having bad attitudes towards women, I have always hated that part of the gay community. "Some" gay men only worship twinks and everyone else on the planet is irrelevant and they don't care how they treat them.

I am not condemning OP though, I don't think there is enough information to know if this is the negative situation many are making it out to be. For all we know, it may be just conjecture.

Face it OP he likes fat women, some guys do.

How is your corporate job going?

Some of you have given good advice. I have spoken to the man before, just casually when I’ve seen him outside. His wife is a stankface bitch who has yelled after him when we’ve been conversing before. They don’t have any kids.

He works from home, but the wife goes out to work. I may pop over there tomorrow around lunchtime with some goodies. I’ve never done that before.