Eurovision Song Contest 2022

Sometimes I'm amazed that the Eurovision music never seems to catch on in the U.S. Every year there are 2-5 songs that would be hits here if they didn't originate from other countries. At the very least, Im surprised record labels dont snatch up the songs for American artists.

Will it even happen this year with what’s going on between Russia and Ukraine?

Thanks, OP. That clip made me throw up my dinner.

R3 That was my first reaction to him as well but I've now come to appreciate his over-the-top fierceness (and his very photogenic Levantine facial features too). Let's just hope the upcoming revamp will improve that mess of a song at least a little bit.

And I've also developed a mini obsession with his backup dancer Victor Novojilovsky:

Ben-David has terrible pitch!

Maybe...But you gotta admit he does look mighty fine in speedos!

I'd definitely tap that hot Jewish ass.

[quote]Will it even happen this year with what’s going on between Russia and Ukraine?

I don't think it will be cancelled. Russia has been banned from competing and Ukraine will probably win because of sympathy votes

[quote]Is anyone going to be able to out-queen the Israeli queen

The singer from Romania is also pretty flamboyant

You rang?

Hard to believe the Romanian guy is a professional dancer because his dance moves look super awkward...And so does his hair. He definitely lacks the stage presence of Ben David.

Actually Michael Ben David's parents are Georgian Jews from Ukraine who immigrated to Israel.

Diva!

This amazing song was one of the contenders to represent Italy but they were not chosen, that song is a hit, I guess they don’t want to win two years in a row

I quite like the French entry which is sung in a regional language from britanny

I was rooting for Pauline Chagne and her electric harp but I didn't mind Alvan winning (probably because he's handsome as fuck).

And I love the sound of Breton language. The first time I heard the track I thought they were singing in Arabic or something.

Mahmood and Blanco would like a word.

I liked Mahmood much more in 2019, when he didn't have that annoying attention-stealing brat with him onstage.

Melodifestivalen in Sweden at the moment. Song nr 9. This is huge in Sweden.

R19 The winner has already been announced. Once again their song is pure shite but the juries are probably gonna have a hardon for Sweden in May (as usual). It's still better than the winning song of their great nemesis Norway, though.

R20 At least it wasn’t Anders Bagge with his dreck. I cannot believe his song almost won.

It would be fun to see Bagge going to Turin and becoming Sweden's second non-qualifier ever (after poor Anna Bergendahl and her crooked teeth in 2010). That's a rare Swedish song even the juries would probably hate.

The only Melodifestivalen performance I liked this year was the one by this cute blonde twink. He looks a lot like Aaron Carter (pre-meth Aaron Carter, that is). Loved their choreo. Apparently the black backup dancer is Zara Larsson's bf.

Here is the Australian entry.

What do you think?

That little Pinoy homosexual boy can sing really well. But I hate the performance. That dramatic hand twitching at the end...UGH!

Miss Jaguar Jonze would have made a more worthy winner, if you ask me.

I don’t watch Eurovision as it’s so boring and just goes on and on for hours, but Australia should not be in it. They aren’t part of EBU and are on the other side of the planet.

R24 yeah I kind of agree, and the skirt burning was pretty intense!

R22 Yes! Som Du Vill would have been a great Eurovision entry or Bluffin, but what do I know. I would have taken great joy in seeing Bagge not qualify too.

R24 Yeah, I just can't imagine how difficult it must have been for her to sing with that smoke blowing in her face.

You know, I don't really mind Ozzies in the competition because their songs are usually great but I fear letting a non-EBU member compete just like that set a dangerous precedent. With American Song Contest now being introduced, I can totally see EBU trying to drag Americans into the competition as well in the future.

Australia is allowed to compete until 2023 but it's hard to imagine they're going to be kicked out just like that next year.

The revamped version of the Israeli song along with the video has been released today. This...is NOT good. It feels even messier and more disjointed than it did before. And that flute sound they added to the chorus feels just wrong!

Where can I watch?!

I'm working my way through the entries but so far my favourite is Italy's entry "Brividi" by Mahmood and BLANCO.

Albania also has a great song.

Holy shit, it looks like Mahmood has a girlfriend. Is that his beard or is he actually BI? I'm having a really heard time envisioning that man fucking a woman.

Michael Ben David is like Adam Levine's flaming gay doppelganger.

[quote]Holy shit, it looks like Mahmood has a girlfriend

Her name is Anna Frau !? lol

Where can I watch?

Why is Israel in Eurovision? Its not in Europe. Its in Asia.

[quote]Where can I watch?

It's on Peacock

Israel is considered "Euro" since it was settled, and conquered, by European emigres/victims. It's also considered "First World"--by the First World.

Ukraine will win. And the song is actually quite fun, not as brilliant as they were last year but still well done.

UK and Spain are surprises. Neither is utter shit like usual. Both top 10 at least.

Lots of sad emo Billie Eilish wannabes this year. They will cancel each other out, maybe Greece or Netherlands slipping through.

It’s a weak year.

EBU will probably make sure that the juries downvote the Ukraine and prevent it from winning. They're still losing sleep over the 2017 contest, which was an absolute nightmare to organize for them...And that was without most of the country being invaded by the Russkies.

By the way, any fans of the Lithuanian goddess around here? Her mushroom hairdo, the funky Lithuanian language, the unclassifiable music genre - everything about it is pure perfection. Sad to see her doing so poorly in the betting odds (where she's almost last!!).

The American Song Contest, currently on a major network, is a pathetic copy of Eurovision.

When does it start ?

Still regarding Sweden I really liked Tone Sekelius, apparently the first-ever transgender participant in the Melodifestivalen. But the one that win is fine too.

[quote] Still regarding Sweden I really liked Tone Sekelius, apparently the first-ever transgender participant in the Melodifestivalen.

Are we sure Robin Stjernberg wasn't a FTM ?

eurovision is not about the european union.... it's towards broadcasting rights.

but whatever.

every fucking year there's somebody crying about the various nations in it.

there was a time they criticized every nation east of germany, too!

even some that didn't think the uk or iceland should be part of it

israel, of course, is frequently targeted.. but there have been some predominately arab states as well.

travel is relatively quick between the MENA countries and the northern most points of europe, so again, whatever. . .

and much like sports, the olympics, every other competition, if their nation didn't compete, they would just perform for a nation that was accepted -- as many past contestants have and continue to do.

But if Ukraine wins where the fuck will Eurovision 2024 be held? On board the raised battleship Moskva?

[quote] Israel is considered "Euro" since it was settled, and conquered, by European emigres/victims. It's also considered "First World"--by the First World.

So many levels of silliness.

Moving on, is Russia banned from Eurovision? Should be.

Yes, they are, R47. Going back to Israel participating in ESC, Morocco participated one year, I think Tunisia or Lebanon had a song ready to go one year but withdrew, and so on. Most countries around the Mediterranean are EBU members. I'm more troubled by Australia's participation - why not let Canada participate then? Or South Africa? Or Japan?

Europeans keep Disco alive.

R48 I think it’s because the Aussies were such big fans of Eurovision that they were invited to participate.

Ben David is fierce, but I'm in love with Mammod and Blanco's Balenciaga-and-tats version of Call Me By Your Name. Their live performance of Brividi always gives me goosebumps, and I've even enjoyed watching reactions to it by fans who understand Italian. It's such a beautiful song.

R48, yeah, that’s the reason but it’s so wrong on many levels. Australia doesn’t deserve to compete. They should start up their own Pacific Rim Song Contest.

Australians have a weakness for camp: ABBA, Kylie, Baz Luhrman, Pricilla, Muriel, Shane Warne. So loving Eurovision came naturally to them. The first two years they sent brilliant songs by Guy Sebastian and Dami Im and Dami nearly won it. Lately they’ve been checking the intersectionality box too much, culminating in this years gay Aspie mess. But they do know how to Eurovision. If this one doesn’t qualify (like last year’s 💩) expect the volume to increase on them leaving, both in Oz and with the EBU.

I hope it does. They’re outsiders who don’t belong at the party.

I love Mahmood's Brividi, the performance is beautiful

Mahmood and Blanco should win, best song by a mile. Bjork should sue that little, Australian gay for stealing her mask idea. The guy from France's entry is very hot and so is Estonia's.

The Polish singer is hot too. Unfortunately he possesses all the charisma of a dry rag onstage.

He was born in Massachusetts which means there's a high possibility he's circumcised.

There's no way they will let anyone but Ukraine win.. But how will they host it next year?

R32 Anna Frau it's his mother

If that's his mother he's tonguing in the pic then they both need to schedule an appointment with a therapist ASAP.

R60 I don't think they are tongue kissing but I admit that's still weird

Maybe that's not even his mom sitting in his lap, because you can't see her face. But it was definitely his mom in this photo he posted on his instagram a couple of weeks ago. That's a weird pic of your mother to be sharing online...

The 60 Minutes segment was lame. How could they put the main focus on Iceland and not once mention that the Eurovision film was mostly set there and the two main characters were Icelandic? And why the fuck didn’t they show this?

[quote]Maybe that's not even his mom sitting in his lap, because you can't see her face.

It was his friend Camilla Magli.

Israel and other nations like Australia are members of the European Broadcasting Union so they can participate. It's this simple.

[quote] By the way, any fans of the Lithuanian goddess around here? Her mushroom hairdo, the funky Lithuanian language, the unclassifiable music genre - everything about it is pure perfection.

Very cool, R40! Really like it....and your description is spot on.

Thanks for sharing.

Australia is only competing as guests. Hope that ends soon. Kick them out!

R39, the UK will receive nil points as always. It does not matter how good the song is or isn’t. We are hated the world over. It is a running joke these days. You could have the Beatles from their hey day competing and the UK would still receive nil points.

Let me know when he opens the onlyfan page, he is going to do it, right?

Of course he will! 😎

Well, R68, you’re right in that the world does hate you for many reasons besides Eurovision. But Sam Ryder has been a steady 4th in the odds for weeks now. He’s a huge TikTok star with celebrity followers, and he’s been killing it on the pre-competition tours.

To the UK’s credit, those selecting the entry stopped with the ‘Europe hates us’ nonsense and asked themselves ‘maybe would should send shit and treat the contest like a joke’. The NL did similar and went from last to 9th then 2nd then 1st in a few years.

Sam and the song are good. The only way he drops to last is if his staging is as stupid and cheap as last year’s (unfortunately still a possibility - the UK is no Ukraine who are staging geniuses). Still, top half easily. Sleeper to win if the presentation is good.

I've come to realize that Blanco is a much superior singer to Mahmood. Mahmood's falsetto in the chorus is painful to listen to. You can see it on his face that he's having a hard time hitting those high notes and oh boy, when he hits 'em it sure ain't a pleasant sound to hear.

Elisa or Achille Lauro should have won San Remo (of course we'll still get to see Achille this year but unfortunately Domenica>>>Stripper)

Didn’t UK get zero points the year they took part in Iraq invasion ?

R72 Was that the infamous Cry Baby song? That live performance was so atrocious it'd get null points even without the whole Iraq thing.

I just listened to Cry Baby again on YT. The male singer didn't sound THAT bad (at least not as bad as I remembered) but that wench was off-key the whole time.

Funniest comment on YT:

[quote] They scored 1 point for every note they sung in tune.

R67 But we love the Eurovision.....although I don't think this years entry will make it through to the finals?

I think Australia will receive a lot of jury love and go to the finals without a doubt but I can't see Sheldon doing very well with the public. His song is just such a slog to sit through. It's a shame really, because he does have a genuinely good voice.

I saw a snippet of Mahmood and Blanco's rehearsal and they both sounded terrible. They have been on their individual tours so their voices are worn. Hope they get it together.

Mahmood didn't sound all that great at San Remo either so that's no excuse. He sounded bad at 2019 Eurovision too but his team blamed it on a cold.

Speaking of Mahmood, about an hour ago a protester crashed the red carpet at the opening ceremony while he was being interviewed. The look of panic on his face was pretty funny:

on the turquoise carpet

Mahmood was wearing some sort of long pink skirt

Screw those two! If there was any justice in this world we would be seeing this regina strutting down the carpet today.

You are welcome.

Blanco has some potential to look cute but his over plucked eyebrows make him look like a lesbian (like in the pic R79 posted).

I predict Queen Elizabeth dies either on or shortly before Sunday and the UK outguns Ukraine with the sympathy votes from both the judges and the public.

Drag artiste Courtney Act will be Australia’s Eurovision Song Contest Spokesperson, delivering the scores on behalf of the nation.

What a huge Adam's apple on that bloke.

Poland this year is represented by this handsome American.

Johnny Weir will host the US coverage:

Here's the entire Croatian performance (from last night's jury show). Holy shit, the postcards, the stage (with that malfunctioning "sun") and direction all suck donkey balls this year.

P.S. Laura Pausini looks like shit too. I can't believe they picked that scarecrow to host the event, with all the gorgeous Italian women around.

The songs have been dreadful for years. When I was a young gayling there was a genuine excitement because the songs were generally of a much higher quality. Even when the winning song was sung in another language, it was re-recorded in multiple languages to take advantage of its big moment. I haven’t watched the final for many years because of the biased political voting and the poor quality of the music.

[quote] The songs have been dreadful for years.

I agree that political voting has gotten out of hand but I can't agree with you on the supposed decline of music quality. During one of those pesky lockdowns I decided to listen to every single Eurovision song ever (there's over 1500 of them) and some of the years, even those from way way back, were a real chore to get through. Eurovision songs have always been very hit or miss and you'll find some real turkeys thrown into the mix, whether you're listening to the tracks from the 1966 contest or the 2017 one.

First semi just began. Lots of men on stage. They know their audience.

Hell's Kitchen is in the house; I'm representing!

I remember the time when everything was spoken in English and French.

The European hosts are elegantly dressed -- Johnny Weir looks like a peacock in red patent leather gloves.

Albania’s singer looked like Madonna and not in a good way.

I thought Arianna Huffington channeling "I Dream of Genie."

Oh look: Technicolor!

Ukraine will win this year. Probably getting 12 pts from every country.

I was thinking Ukraine may have lost momentum, but with that performance, I don’t see them losing tonight’s televote. Based upon chatter from the jury semifinal, Greece, Ukraine, and Netherlands were top 3.

R99 I don't think so. Ukraine will be low top 10 with juries, probably do very well with televote (something they do every year anyway)

I'm afraid poor Monika Liu won't be seeing the grand final. Her performance tonight was supposed to be a recreation of her national final one but those Italian fuckers managed to completely mangle it. All the magic seemed to be gone.

Sure fire qualifiers tonight are Armenia, Norway, Greece, Holland, Portugal, Moldova and of course the Ukraine. It's gonna be a real bloodbath for the remaining three places.

I think Maro or Iceland will Q but not both. I’m still rooting for Lithuania, I think Latvia may get through too.

Well, I’ll eat my words, both Porto and Iceland through! More importantly, Lithuania!!

Just listened to “A Million Voices,” the Russia entry in 2015. It came in 2nd but probably would have won if Russia hadn’t seized Ukraine the year before. It was a terrific anthem-type song and the singer, Polina Gagarina, was particularly strong. I saw on Wiki that she performed at a pro-Putin “military operation in Ukraine” rally in March. Fascist cunt.

Croatia's entry is shite this year.

I remember the good times when many countries still sang in their native language.

So happy for Lithuania. Also very sad for Albania. Unfortunately their staging turned out to be a total mess but Ronela proved to be such a sweetheart during the pre-Eurovision season (and a huge gay ally as well) that it was heartbreaking to see her face on camera right after the tenth qualifier was announced.

I enjoyed the show and learned a lot from your commentary here. Thanks, folks.

Since 3pm is a tad early for such pageantry, I think I'll watch the remaining programs on evening replay.

Poland has a great shot this year.

Ochman has a great voice, a great song and a purty face but unfortunately he also has onstage charisma of a damp rag. And based on the rehearsal snippet their staging looks like it was sponsored by Windows Movie Maker 2005©.

I thought Johnny Weir did a pretty good job hosting a show for the first time (I hope Tara Lipinski drops in on Saturday, though). He does seem to be an actual fan and he was well prepared.

Glad we qualified for the final.

For the first time in ages Spain has some chances. I'm not a fan of the song but she is pretty amazing live. Being the only dance diva in a show full of ballads should be an advantage too

R112 Happy for you Norgie but I'd be even happier if the song wasn't that fucking annoying. Norway, Iceland and Denmark were my pee breaks last night (hmm, didn't even realize until now these were all Nordic countries).

I can't believe how hit or miss Norwegian Eurovision songs are - you served that kitschy fabulousness in 2019 and Ulrikke's powerhouse vocals in 2020 (still can't believe the crackheads at NRK decided not to internally select her the following year) but then came that intolerable angel with his faked tics in 2021 and the annoying wolves this year. Subwoolfer guys are just trying waaaay too hard to become a meme. And it's cute how they think people actually care about their real identity.

I also can't believe this cute twink with his fun 80s-style bop didn't even reach the Melodi Grand Prix final this year. Come to think of it, all the best Norwegian songs this year were kicked out in the semi-finals this year.

Give that wolf some strychnine.

Nana Mouskouri from Greece represented Luxembourg, singing in French. A true example of European cooperation.

R113 I've seen the full footage of her Turin performance as it will appear on TV and it doesn't look half as impressive as it did back in Spain. There are too many fucking wide shots of the auditorium which take the focus away from Chanel's impressive choreography.

Camera guys at this year's Eurovision are certified hacks.

Thanks for posting that, R114. That’s my idea of a Eurovision entry-cute twink, hot backup dancers and cool vibes. I hate that banana song they sent, instead.

R117 Yes, they are pretty bad.

She had to perform tomorrow so hopefully they'll polish things for saturday. The changes on the song are great.

Diodato's performance was amazing and that song was better than anything on the first semifinal

I'm sure Norgie will be delighted to hear that Sweden's jury performance was a technical mess. You were actually able to see the guy who spins Cornelia's green sun around.

It's like all the queens come out to pull this off, it's that gay.

R112 Norway was a safe lock to qualify to the grand final. I just hope Subwoolfer’s final performance has a bit more energy than it had in the semis. There was something About their performance I found a bit underwhelming. This could also be due to the mediocre production.

R120 I hope Cornelia’s staging can come together. It would be such a disappointment if the producers can’t make it work. I still think Sweden gets in though.

Of course Sweden gets in. The only question is if technical glitches were distracting enough to cost them the jury victory in semi final 2. But they probably weren't. It would take a whole lot more to stop the biased juries from wanking over Swedish entries.

I personally can't stand that Cornelia Jakobs woman. She gives off strange and not very pleasant vibes in her interviews. I hope she and Norwegian wolves fall into a sinkhole before Saturday evening so we can put Scandinavian twinks Theoz and Daniel Kalelic on a last minute flight to Turin and have them save the day.

Euros can be so tacky at times.

Only at times, R124?

As opposed to the refined classiness of the Seppos 🤣🤣🤣

R114 I agree. MGP is our national version of ESC, which picks the song to go to ESC. Every year NRK (our national broadcaster) decides which artists and songs to have in MGP. They choose like 20 every year and every year the songs are ALL shit. This year we didn't have one good song. Believe it or not but Subwolfer was the best of the worst. Subwolfer is so stupid but at least the song is somewhat catchy. I don't think any of the other songs would have made it past the semifinal. You need to realize MGP/ESC here is seen as tacky. No artist with respect for themselves want to compete. Which is why we get shit every year. ESC is a huge thing in Sweden, which is why they send a hit song every year. Also, they have good songwriters, which helps. We have so many good artists here in Norway, but it doesn't matter because none of them ever want to compete in ESC. Last year Keiino was robbed. Tix only got so many votes because he was a household name already, and VERY popular with the tweens, who unfortunately are the ones who vote. We all know Keiino would have done much better.

There's now one less bossy bottom on the market, y'all: Miss Michael Ben David got engaged in Turin! Mazel tov to the happy couple.

It's really tacky to announce engagement when you are competing for something. Makes it look like you did it for the exposure and sympathy votes.

Didn't the Macedonian chick actually get engaged during live broadcast a few years ago? Now THAT was tacky (and it was made even tackier because there were straight people involved).

Oh, and Norgie, were you aware that the male members of the "Czech" band this year are actually Norwegian? I'd do the nerdy ginger guy on the left.

And he's hiding a pretty hot body underneath those turtlenecks. It's nice to know there are some Norwegian people who don't make me want to jump off cliff involved in Eurovision this year.

The UK moved ahead of Italy to be #2 in the odds behind Ukraine. Revenge for the Euros. It's coming home.

R124, 125,

No tackier than other currencies.

The three dollar Cook Islands bill is pretty tacky (unless you happen to find nude girls bareback riding sharks classy).

R106 Oh, spare me. Only Severina!

Severina is the best!

I'm glad the Romanian queen made it through. His performance was one of the few this year that has actually been upgraded and greatly improved from the nationals finals one. He did have a certain spark that Michael Ben David simply lacked today.

As for the most undeserving qualifiers tonight: the dirges from Azerbaijan and Australia. Oh yeah, and Finland. That guy can't sing live for shit and his face has gotta be the creepiest one to ever grace the Eurovision stage.

I will never take this seriously until Israel, Australia, Azerbaijan or other clearly not European countries are banned from it. It has great potential, but it's mostly a very tacky show.

I love the Australian guy, give him a break!

That female co-host is horrendous. That’s the best Italy could do? Mika is a cutie, though.

Mika looks like he went a bit overboard with the botox. There's nothing sadder than watching a middle-aged queen who can't leave her twinky past behind.

I am not the same too, Sheldon!

I didn't know israel was a european country...

And you knew Australia was one, I guess?

Australia has European heritage at least.

Israel and Armenia are members of the EBU which makes them eligible to compete.

As are Morocco, Tunisia, and Lebanon, I think.

[quote] Australia has European heritage at least.

Where do you think most of the current population of Israel is from? Jupiter? Though you may want to test that theory with your fellow white supremacists and neonazis.

Ashkenazi Jews (i.e. those whose recent ancestry is in Europe) are not a majority in Israel because you've also got Mizrachi Jews and Palestinian Arab citizens of Israel. I'm not sure that Ashkenazim are even a majority of Israel's Jewish population.

Yeah, let's turn this Eurovision thread into a dissection of what it means to be Aryan (which, I'm sure, will be catnip to some of the posters here) .. Israel is a member of all European sport federations, unlike Australia. The countries around the Mediterranean Basin are certainly culturally and geographically linked to Europe sufficiently to be included, if they want to participate.

They are from the land of the Israelites

Letting Australia into Eurovision is like letting a kid at a Star Trek convention come on set and put into costume to play a fucking Vulcan.

Australia needs to be banned ASAP.

R135 WTF was that? It was like a scene from a Borat movie.

R149 It's really simple, there's no Aryan, cultural or any difficult analysis. Europe is a geographical entity and only countries belonging to it should be eligible to an EUROvision song festival. North Africa is NOT Europe, Israel, Syria, Lebanon and Turkey are NOT Europe (Anatolia was called Minor Asia since the Greeks), Australia, South Africa, Argentina, despite having European people in them, are NOT Europe.

The only disputable country is Russia since it goes from Ukraine/Estonia to China and North Korea.

[quote] Letting Australia into Eurovision is like letting a kid at a Star Trek convention come on set and put into costume to play a fucking Vulcan.

And Australian owns that proudly.

How is this #7 in category music videos? Lol!

R152 Australia needs to win ASAP

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Gay cowboy Aidan Cassar has been confirmed as Malta's spokesperson for tomorrow's Grand Final. That filthy rich cunt Emma Muscat beating this gorgeous twink at Maltese selection remains one of the biggest crimes of this Eurovision season!

I am glad The Rasmus got to the final

It had to be nostalgia that got that one-hit wonder band to the final because Suomi and Kypros served the worst vocals last night (but at least the Cypriot woman looked gorgeous while doing it). This is the second time in three years that Finland decided to wheel out some nostalgia act for Eurovision, which makes me think popular local artists wouldn't touch UMK with a ten-foot pole. Who can we expect next year - Bomfunk MC?!

This is too funny.

Revisiting a few “guilty pleasures” today. Damn, this kid knew how to eye fuck the camera.

Really good song. I love that Catherine Zeta Jones back-up singer giving the lead singer a “fuck off, bitch” look. And that male back-up singer with dark hair was cute as hell.

I loved this song. And so began my fantasy of singing back-up for Sweden. Oh well.

How are you all watching this? I’m watching via the Swedish SVT app. I’ll watch Johnny Weir do his commentary thing on replay on Peacock tomorrow.

Johnny Weir is insufferable. I don’t know why Peacock thought this Talk Soup style commentary was necessary.

r166 BBCiPlayer. Eurovision just wouldn't be the same without a sassy increasingly drunk Irishman

The Rasmus from Finland sounded very good

France was weird. All over the place. Sounded Nordic traditional folk.

You can watch the live stream here.

Ah my first "what the hell am I looking at here" of the evening. Thanks Norway.

US Folks - Just a heads up, I believe YouTube feed posted by r171 is region blocked in the US.

Eurovision.tv

Laura Pausini lip-syncing to a medley of her greatest hits had to be the worst Eurovision opening of all times!

Finally Italy!

Didn't castrati go extinct about a century ago?

I think I'll vote for Spanish J-Lo.

Ukraine will probably win (the public vote anyway), but I'm not feeling the song.

Poor Chanel, the direction was so lame during her number. It was the tight editing that made her choreography so effective in Spain and that was totally missing here. And she let out a couple of dodgy notes.

Holland was my favorite so far. What a great song! And hopefully no one will ever accuse Dutch language of being ugly again because that sounded beautiful.

R170, the song was performed in Breton, a Celtic language closely related to Cornish and Welsh.

Ukraine will win and they gave it all they had.

R180 I agree The Nederlands has a good catchy song

Yes. Ukraine is IT. The clear winner.

What? Germany sent a decent song?

I think Ukraine will win, but their performance tonight was a bit flat, the semis was better.

Ukrainians left me totally cold. Alina Pash and Roxolana's songs at Vidbir were so much better.

R180, I adore the Netherlands, I’ve been there eight times since 2016 (I live in NYC) but damn, Dutch is so not a pretty language. Lovely people but the language is very hard on the ears. But because the people are so lovely their language can sometimes be charming. It’s a weird thing.

Mireille Mathieu

With a touch of Liza.

Grand Final on YouTube streaming now.

A VPN will help you watch if you are in the US.

I’m enjoying Kathy Burke and Molly Quell’s commentaries on Twitter. Also James Longman’s-he’s that very cute gay reporter on ABC News.

Yaaasss, the mushroom-headed Lithuanian goddess SLAAAYED! I'm so happy to see the Lithuanian language making a Eurovision appearance again after almost three decades. It's not only beautiful and melodic but also one of the oldest existing languages in Europe.

The worst numbers so far were the Norwegian and Azerbaijani one. Norwegian song seems better suited for Junior Eurovision and the other one is literally a Melodifestivalen reject (this year's Maltese songs was one of those as well).

Azerbaijan beautiful ballad handsome singer with strong voice

I'm a bit sick of Graham Norton hosting the UK's coverage. He always sounds bored. Rylan would be more fun.

Still disappointed Israel didn't get through. So beautifully camp

How the fuck did Belgium qualify in the first place? Some pretty good songs were left behind because of him.

R196 There was room for only one flamboyant dancing queen in the Grand Final and the Romanian guy took that spot.

Awn, r196 is sad about the apartheid state that kills journalists. 🥺

Switzerland sounded like a John Lewis advert

R198 Plus MBD acting like a dick all over Turin. He doomed himself.

I'm probably the only one who found Michael Ben David's shenanigans amusing to watch. Him snatching the microphone from the Croatian singer on the red carpet was probably my favorite one.

Do you think beautiful sisters from Iceland would make it with country music in US?

I'm not mad about those fucking wolves anymore because Miss Amanda Tenfjord and the guys from the Czech band restored the lost Norwegian honor today.

Where is Husavic???

The odds changed a bit, Italy went down and Spain went up.

Ukraine is still the big favourite

No, R203.

Maybe alt-country r203

Icelandic scissor sisters are huge trans kids rights activists. That's a BIG red flag for me!

Moldova is kicking ass and taking names!! I love this song!!

Well, if you think the cameras screwed Chanel just watch jow they'll screw Cornelia

Italy might have done better if those two queens had actually sung in tune.

Drunken Swedish wench coming up...Time to hit the loo!

I watched Melodifestivalen final and didn’t like the song. But it is okay Eurovision song.

Does the pink host remind anyone of Dennis Reynolds?

Sheldon is pretty cute. Shame he spends most of his performance with a fucking chandelier on his face.

That's Mika, r215...

Laura finally doing some live singing...And proving that it maybe wasn't such a bad idea after all to have her lip-sync the opening number.

Sweet baby Jesus, the screechy British guy makes even Mahmood's caterwauling seem tolerable.

I wonder which fan fave is gonna flop more miserably tonight - Spain or the UK?

Eurovision 2022: a sea of shitty ballads.

So far I only like Ukraine, Czech Republic, Finland and Moldova.

R220 So far I have hated the favorites. Spain should have been so much better. Sweden was depressing. Portugal was boring.

R220 Spain should know better. Send hot male singer and show lots of skin.

Oh my, the Polish guy is so handsome! Here's me watching his performance:

But who on earth thought it was a wise idea to dress him like an undertaker?!

Only a few moments more and the third secret of Fatima is finally going to be revealed: the secret to Meghan Markle's healthy hair!

Here comes Serbia...

I love idea of singing about health and health care system. Weird but so Eurovision.

I'm stanning Serbia, Lithuania, Holland and Portugal. The ladies really saved 2022 Eurovision for me.

I liked the upbeat songs. Hated the ballads, as usual. Some of the favorites are way overhyped. Ukraine was good and should win.

The Polish American singer's grandfather was an opera singer. Singing is in his genes (beside the good looks).

[quote] The Polish American singer's grandfather was an opera singer. Singing is in his genes (beside the good looks).

He may have inherited the voice from him but definitely not the looks because grandpa Ochman wasn't even remotely cute.

A year later and I still don't get those Maneskin brats.

Fess up bitches, how many of you checked out the host's bulge in that green suit?

Cinquetti's performance was quite moving. She said it was her dream to be invited again. It's a bit of a farewell.

R236 Totally agree, hearing the entire hall singing along with her was probably the emotional highlight of the evening. And I love how she somehow still manages to look like a little girl at 75.

I just hope they didn't invite Toto Cutugno back as well.

DL should hate the Serbian woman because she name-checked You-Know-Who

Yuck, Mika singing after Gigliola Cinquetti feels like having a Big Mac and a Coke after Bistecca alla Fiorentina and a glass of Chianti.

No matter what happens, R239, nothing can be a lower point that Maneskin's horrible performances (how can anyone like their shitty music?) and that RIDICULOUS segment about the worst fashion choices in the ESC's history.

Me likey! Apparently RAI is showing this contest in 4K. Wonder how this must have looked to viewers watching in resolution that high?

Why is Spain getting full 12 pts from juries?

Spain doing surprisingly well with the juries so far. That's weird, usually slutty performances like that one get downvoted by them.

I think that may be the first time 12 points has been given due to military aid.

I hope Finland will score well. Rasmus are the most famous band there with over 20 years of career. It would be quite humiliating to see them low.

I'm wondering the same, R242. The song is awful and Chanel has very little talent. However, I am glad that Sam Ryder is getting some recognition, as he is a very good singer... Even if the song is a bit generic.

That Swedish woman looks like she smells. She needs a Silkwood shower ASAP.

Oh God, I really hope Sam Ryder and that screechy song flop with the televoters. He makes me nostalgic for James Newman.

Did that stupid little slut from Poland just shout 'Slava Ukraina' while rising her right arm? This is insane!

Surprising lack of gaudy fountains behind spokespeople this year. They all seem to go with dull skyscrapers tonight.

I think the televote will give it to Ukraine.

Queen Samanta Tina calling from Riga! Fucking love that woman.

I am. I loved Poland. The Netherlands. Ireland was terrible.

Those Kalush Orchestra guys turned out be huge assholes after they initially lost the Ukrainian national final. They badmouthed both Alina Pash as well as the organizers. Hope karma comes after them tonight.

The United Kingdom is winning the Eurovision - end times are truly here.

I haven't seen such poor link-ups with the national juries for many years.

I thought Finns hate Sweden. Why did they give that smelly-looking creature 12 points?

Can't believe so many are voting for Sweden. That song sucked

Love Dotter! One of the few Eurovision-related Swedes who don't give me indigestion.

At least the Italian jury showed some taste.

Professionals giving votes to Spain.

Now the sadistically fun part begins - watching the faces of contestants from up close as the televote points are revealed.

This should be interesting...televotes are in.

Wow, The Rasmus flopped hard. R245 probably jinxed them with his comment.

People have no taste. Lithuania was clearly the best and the only song I would hear again willingly

Moldova!!! I loved that song!

Ouch, Switzerland!!!

I liked that Estonian bottom.

Poor Switzerland...

Bravo, Serbia! Too bad the fucking juries snatched her chances of winning.

OMG, that look on the Azeri guy's face. He knows that getting only 3 points from the televote is punishable by law in his home country.

I knew it would be on the 4 hundreds for Ukraine. They got the pity vote. That's it, I guess.

Yep.

If he'd delayed the announcement anymore the war would have been over.

Wasn't the pity win for the Ukraine in 2016 enough? Another one is just too fucking much.

I don't think Ukraine can be beaten now.

Wow...400 pts for Ukraine!!!

so Ukraine will have to host the ESC next year?

Glad I won't be seeing the British guy's teeth anymore!

OK, next ESC in a war country then....

Can someone please nuke my country, I want to see us winning the Eurovision too!

R274 No. This war has changed Europe a lot. People are worried and feel strongly for Ukraine.

What is your country, R280, I'll be glad to oblige!

UK finally made its way out of zero points land.

R277 No but it will unless the situation is too bad for having ESC.

I cannot believe that Ukraine has won over the UK and Greece. They don't deserve it AT ALL. And I'm also shocked that the horrible Serbian song got so many votes, as well... Where are things going?

r283 Who knew all we had to do was put up something that wasn't completely terrible? On the other hand there's nothing to complain about at work on Monday now.

R284 as if they haven't already enough problems....

I'll just pretend it was this fabulous song from this year's Ukrainian pre-selection that just won the Eurovision.

Ukraine won the televote in almost every country.

Good for Ukraine, but what an amazing result for Sam Ryder

Sam Ryder seems like a really sweet guy but his song was for shit.

Sam Ryder seems like such a nice guy that I almost feel bad for hating his song with all my guts. But I'm definitely happy to see the UK making such a comeback. Luckily this means BBC will probably start taking Eurovision a bit more seriously and stop sending crappy songs like Embers and Storm (and pretty much their every other entry in the last two decades) to ESC.

The BBC rarely learn from anything.

Australia only got 2 audience votes.

:(

All in all, I think this was a rather weak Eurovision year. When a 74-year-old grandma singing her song from 1964 outshines all the other contestants that's definitely a cause for concern.

[r294) They should have gotten 0 points! Australia =//= Europe.

Is DL on primetime btw? We didn't even get to 300 posts for a thread on gay Christmas.

R297 Nope, it isn't. But I don't think DL Eurovision threads are ever hugely popular.

r298 Are they not? I swear we usually get to at least 2 threads. Though this is the first one I've not been drunk for so could have made that up.

Well, we did have four threads back in 2019 but I had the feeling those threads mostly consisted of only two or three people hissing at each other.

DL was primetime for me right until the ESC begun...

Thanks to (that otherwise useless cunt) Muriel for letting us poor DLers participate in this thread too!

Semi final results are now in too. I can't believe poor Georgia finished dead last in SF2 with this clown car of crazy entry. Hated this song at first but I blasted it in my car the other day and I've loved it ever since.

The Ukraine won SF1 while smelly Cornelia won SF2.

I was surprised at how poorly France did. I thought their song was fun.

Romania should have done better, too

I suspect the UK will be hosting it next year.

When did UK last win ?

1997.

I would never want to actually be in the arena on Eurovision Night (I’ve hated crowds even before Covid) but it would be fun to be in whatever city is hosting it.

Ukraine had a good song; that flute melody is well put together. The rap part ruins it though. It is indeed a political win anyway.

i suppose it's the end of the "europe hate us" for the UK and Spain, without the war it will be a toss between both to win

I'm looking at the juries' votes now: they gave the Lithuanian goddess only 35 points in the final! Meanwhile the juvenile Norwegian wolves got 36 points from them and smelly Cornelia 258! That tells me all I need to know about their supposed professionalism.

Hell, the juries even pushed Azerbaijan to the grand final without them getting a single point from the public in SF2! I don't think that's ever happened before.

R246 Not liking the song is perfectly ok, but you need to be blind and deaf to say that Chanel has no talent. She does efortelessly what mos divas do in playback. The girl can sing, dance and act and i can't think on an eurovision performance with that level of dificulty, that's the reason why juries voted for her

R312 This was a very polarized year, some song did well with juries and flopped with televote and the other way round. Only Uk, Sweden, Spain and Ukraine where consistent, and Uk and Sweden didn't even reach 200 points on televote

I'm a bit indifferent about Chanel but it was gross watching rabid Spanish Eurovision fans this season: they went from literally sending Chanel death threats (because it wasn't Rigoberta Bandini's titty song that won in Benidorm fest) to going gaga for her once the song started to get great feedback from abroad and climbed up the betting odds.

spanish eurofans are totally over the top but in this case that's what you get when you mix politics in this thing.

There were a lot of polititans claimed her victory was unfair, ones because they wanted Tanxugueiras (watching France result i think they are happy right now they weren't selected) or Rigoberta and her feminist message.

The truth is Chanel had the best performance by far (and i loved Terra and Ay, mamá), Tanxugueiras and Rigoberta's stagings weren't good).

To be fair any of the songs of the Benidorm fest would be better than anything we send in the last years (with the exception of Say yay)

As others have said, I'm surprised Lithuania fared so poorly. She was far and away the best one, both in terms of songwriting and performance.

The lead jury member was a handsome fellow.

I don’t know Swedish for shit but I think I did manage to make out from the commentators that Chanel dubbed Ariana DeBose’s voice in West Side Story.

R316 A Barei fan...Casate conmigo!!

Totally agree with you on the high level of Benidorm fest, which was probably the strongest national selection this year. I didn't care for the overrated Galician banshees much but the rest of the songs were great (I personally rooted for sexy Rayden and Blanca Paloma).

And didn't Rigoberta recently reveal that she would have taken her top off on Eurovision stage in case she won? That makes me sorry a bit she wasn't the one travelling to Turin, because seeing some naked tittays last night (in addition to her huge titty globe prop) would have been super fun.

[quote]DL should hate the Serbian woman because she name-checked You-Know-Who

She made a major faux pas by mentioning black (well kinda black) woman's hair. Like, why does Meghan Markle's hair looks so healthy. Ha, healthy. We know what you mean.

Luckily, there wasn't Will Smith there to give her a slap.

USA Today

^Do the USA know the contest was last night?

So does Laura Pausini have IBS? Is that why she disappeared for 20 minutes? Or did Mika have a minion lock her in her dressing room?

Unfortunately the Barbara Dex award for worst-dressed Eurovision contestant got cancelled recently (screw the political correctness!) but that doesn't mean that we can't talk shit about Eurovision fashion crimes anymore.

I think Miss Ronela Hajati wore by far the most atrocious outfit this year. Can't believe she went from that cool, warrior-like outfit at the Albanian selection to this monstrosity. Made her look like a common prostitute.

Here's your Dex winner.

If we take national selections into account as well I'd had to vote for Miss Kim Wigaard of Norway. WTF was that?! Norgie, is this how men dress up north these days?

R326 Can't blame the Montenegrin chick for wearing that illuminated satellite dish. She had big plans to use the kinetic sun during her performance but once that thing malfunctioned they had to come up with new ideas for her staging practically overnight. I thought that over-the-top dress was a nice distraction from the dead LED background.

After so many years of bad results people went totally crazy with Chanel here in Spain. She deserves, specially after all the shit she had to endure

Lots of shitty songs as usual. Only loved Italy's gorgeous song (although they didn't sound good on the final) and Georgia's flop song. The rest were embarrassing although I would fuck that guy from the French group.

Which one? There were two of them.

R324, Laura posted on Instagram that her blood pressure had dropped so the doctors needed her to take a break from the show until she was at a normal level.

Spain was the best.

I get why Ukraine won.

But Spain was the best.

Spain had a killer performance but let's be honest - the song itself is super underwhelming and only comes alive during live performances. If you're listening to audio version of the song only (without seeing Chanel shaking her booty hypnotico at the same time) those three minutes seem like an eternity. I always skip it when it comes on shuffle.

Chanel is often compered to Eleni Foureira with Fuego. And while Chanel had a much better and complex choreo, Fuego was a better song by far and at least had a memorable and catchy chorus.

R334 Lol, Fuego seemed so classy compared to Chanel‘s SloMo. But I have never seen anybody work harder than her with all that she’s got (ass, crotch etc.). At least she was much better than the terrible guy from Great Britain.

The pity votes for Ukraine were just embarrassing….

The real clear winner for all years.

"Spain had a killer performance but let's be honest - the song itself is super underwhelming and only comes alive during live performances."

As this is a live performance contest, this standard of when it "comes alive" seems correct.

Italy should never host this contest again. A failure in production, directing, writing, hosting, staging, sound mixing, postcards, interval acts (other than Diodato), host city Eurovision village and on-site services. Massive steps backward in the contest's professional progress and proof of the old adage that Hell is organised by the Italians.

People are shitting on Stefania but it was the most interesting song in a competition of notably poor song quality. The first song with a lead rap to win the contest, and it was good rapid-fire rapping with inventive lyrics along the lines of the Beastie Boys, plus Ukraine's signature folk elements woven in. If you want to talk pity votes, the UK, Spain, and Sweden are also candidates as people were shocked they didn't send their usual last-place fodder in the case of the first two, and the usual paint-by-numbers Melodifestivalen dreck the latter has sent in the last 7 years. The rest of the songs were clearly afflicted by Covid - dreary, sad nearly suicidal ballads with boring staging (Italy, Greece, Netherlands, Portugal, Poland, Australia, Azerbaijan, Switzerland, Armenia, Iceland) or self-indulgent schlock and cheese (Serbia, Moldova, Poland and Australia again, Norway, France). It was a truly crap year. None of these songs would have higher than 10th last year or 2019. (Side note to Australia: stop sending gimmicks or statement acts and get back to quality like Guy Sebastian and Dami Im).

And as for politicisation, Russia's fingerprints are still lurking in the background. They tried to hack the electronics to spoil Ukraine's inevitable victory, and even parachuted Philip Kirkorov in to manipulate the Balkans. Six countries colluded for vote-exchanging. And Azerbaijan clearly bought four juries for 12s - they should be banned as well. Juries are too often composed of hacks who aren't adding a quality balance to public sentiment but are their own scandals - this need urgent reform.

I hope Ukraine can hold it in Ukraine next year - maybe Lviv. But the UK or Germany both have cases to step in as Big 5 members with excellent media centers in multiple cities. Hopefully, better, happier, more fun songs. Better production, and less nonsense around the event.

Looks like Svengali Kirkorov has found himself a new protege: Miss Poli Genova. They were seen together in Pala Alpitour on Saturday.

Love the woman (and still think she should have won in 2016) but seeing her with that creep is just wrong.

R339, your breadth and depth of knowledge is impressive and I agree with your opinions of the songs/performers. Are you that Wiwi blogs guy, the American who lives in London? I like him. He was featured a lot with that cute Dutch twink Aran Bade who covered the contest for RTL in the Netherlands.

[quote]People are shitting on Stefania but it was the most interesting song in a competition of notably poor song quality.

Completely agree with you. It was the definitely the best song on the contest. The fairly good combination of Ukranian folk and hip hop. The votes might have been pity votes, because audience have voted the worst crap in the semifinal, but the result was that the best won and coincidentally it was the country suffering the horrible aggression.

The only bearable songs were from Eastern Europe and Balkans and the one that sang the black guy from Belgium, the Nordic countries presented the worst crap and they went through.

One of the best songs was from Slovenian kids and they were thrown out in semifinal. Their 18 years old singer has beautiful voice and is very handsome.

[quote]I hope Ukraine can hold it in Ukraine next year - maybe Lviv. But the UK or Germany both have cases to step in as Big 5 members with excellent media centers in multiple cities. Hopefully, better, happier, more fun songs. Better production, and less nonsense around the event.

France, Italy and Germany are all pressing for a "peace" deal that appeases Russia. The United Kingdom isn't, which is why Ukraine considers Britain its most reliable ally.

There is no way Ukraine would want either of those 3 countries involved in Ukraine's Eurovision victory. If it does need to be hosted outside Ukraine, the UK will do it, hopefully with a presenting team that includes Ukrainians.

R342 He looks like Noah Galvin's younger and taller brother

[quote]One of the best songs was from Slovenian kids and they were thrown out in the semi-final

They even finished last in the first semi-final with only 15 points (#1 Ukraine received 337 points).

That was a well-deserved last place for Slovenia. Those nerds were adorable but in the end they are just an amateur high school band - perfect for playing gigs in their school's gym but totally wrong for the most watched music competition in the world (especially with a singer like that one, who looked nervous as hell and sounded like his voice hadn't recovered from puberty mutation yet).

Sam Ryder got robbed of first place for his magnificent song. Those pipes!

But that song sucked. Vastly overrated.

R346 Completely disagree. Their song was better than all the west and north European laxative aid songs.

Can any music industry people explain to me why American record companies/artists don't cover more of these songs? Every year there's a few that I think would be radio/playlist friendly or at least good filler for pop albums. And since literally none cross over to get much attention in the U.S., why dont groups like say, the Jonas Brothers, use some?

[quote]Can any music industry people explain to me why American record companies/artists don't cover more of these songs?

Probably because they wouldn't own the publishing rights. Record companies like to own the publishing rights—that's where the money is.

That whore Laura Pausini tested positive for coronavirus yesterday. She probably had it on Saturday already and perhaps that had something to do with her mysterious disappearance midshow.

I bet Mika and the big green bulge guy are shitting their pants right now.

Fuck Covid, I bet monkeypox spread like wildfire in Turin last weekend.

Can apes spread monkeypox too?

UK is hosting next year, as expected.

R355 As it should be.

The real winner was England this year.

Anyway, i suspect next year Ucraina will win again, because pity, once again.

Unless the war escalates and it turn into a ww3 so no Eurovision(it's a possibility)

There’s a possibility it could be Brussels, though.

Please god if it’s in the UK then that horrendous queen Rylan doesn’t co-host.

I think they'll use presenters from Ukraine.

But the organization will be English?

In that case why the hosts should be ucranian?

At least one of them has to speak French well, though.

Ulrika Jonsson as the host please, so we can get more classic Eurovision moments like this one from Birmingham:

Poor Ulrika. She fucked up.

She also fucked up when it comes to her face. This is what the poor thing looks like these days.

Scandinavian skin and tanning is the deadliest combo known to man.

R363 She's only 54???

R363 Oh good god that’s terrifying.

The EBU have rejected Ukraine’s demands to reconsider their decision not to have them host. Quite rightly, given you just know Russia would only be too happy to launch a cruise missile at an arena full of gays.

There seems to be quite a battle among UK cities to host now – but I’m guessing it will probably be Glasgow.

R352 that performance and song is genuinely bizarre.