Let's be an 80s Teen film!

I am a deranged killer. I generally show up right after the two-second boob-shot.

Assuming there is no deranged killer in this film, I am his stand-in.

I am the word "fag". I get tossed around a lot.

I'm the hulking school bully. Sadly, I will not be having any nude scenes.

We are the non-hulking school "bullies", replete with guyliner and purple lip gloss for added realism, R4.

Sadly, we do not have any nude scenes either.

I am the totally awesome soundtrack.

I am William Zabka's great big beak of a nose.

I'm your turn, Heather.

I'm what's happenin', hot stuff.

I am Keith Gordon's unfortunate lapse into rodentishness.

I am leggings.

I'm hairspray and frosted tips.

I'm Andrew McCarthy.

I'm Corey Haim's asshole.

Well, gooooooooooooooooood for you, R13!!

I'm the convertible

I'm Apple! And Grape! And Rocky Road...and Pralines n' Cream...and Super Duper Chocolate Eruption!

I'm the awkward nerdy girl who takes off her glasses and becomes a mega babe.

I'm the hypnotically soft electronic music that plays during a romance scene and which is never included on the official soundtrack for some reason until 30 years later.

I'm James Spader as the rich preppy villain. I have cocaine.

OP, the lesbians were watching for that, too! I watched Just One of the Guys so many times. Great boob scene on the beach toward the end. Actually, I bet no one but lesbians ever watched that movie.

I am a rare Ferrari launched at a high speed out the back end of a garage designed by Ludwig Mies van der Rohe.

Good point, R21. As luck would have it, I am the curious lack of any reference to lesbians in any of these movies, no matter the genre.

I am Anthony Michael Hall. I play geeks for the first few movies than put on some muscle and try to play hotties. Despite being reasonably attractive, this fails miserably and the last time I am recognizable, Will Smith won't kiss me.

I am Nicholas Cage's latent cray-cray. Watch me lurk under the scenes as he cavorts shirtless on a beach.

I'm frosty pink lipstick.

I am Martha Plimpton and I am not in these things. I am too busy imitating Lauren Bacall, of all people, in a really shitty Daniel Day Lewis film.

I'm Dancing With Myself.

Is THAT what you call it, Ferris.

I’m the washed out 1980s film stock used.

I’m John Hughes and my films look like relics from 1955. That’s why Karens love them.

I’m the two-second flash of male ass. I’m the sole reason this gayling stays up past midnight to watch these stupid things on HBO.

I'm varsity jackets, blazers and sweaters.

I signal the presence of the villains.

I'm many scenes at the mall.

I'm a Rolls Royce radiator. I cost five grand. Five grand! You know who doesn't have five grand?

I'm the gay stereotype. I am either a waiter, a florist or the artsy best friend. If I get killed by the masked killer, people applaud my gory, overly violent demise. T-T-F-N!

I don't get no respect.

I'm the last heterosexual jock to ever wear short shorts and a mesh midriff.

I am Mia Sara. I dated Ferris Bueller and Darkness, Prince of Hell. I sure can pick 'em.

Watch me swirl around in the Gown of Ultimate Gothness, revealing the Bust of Ultimate Non-Boobs

That was the first movie i ever saw in a cinema, R39. It was a friend's birthday and her dad (who had custody that weekend) drove a bunch of way too young kids to the mall, got us in, and then left us there alone until pick-up time. I was afraid Satan was in my bedroom closet until I was about 12, at which point I realized that actually, since Satan was sexy af, it was OK if he was.

I'm the homoerotic shower scene that confirmed yes indeed you were a raging homo.

I'm the 8 Zillion Cans of hairspray obligatory for every teen girl in an 80s Movie!

r7 Beak or no beak, Zabka can plow me.

I'm the token black friend.

I'm the football jersey Dan Gauthier rips off in Teen Wolf for no reason other than to show off his body.

I'm all the real natural tits on display.

R44 Condolences to you for being killed in the first scene of all slasher flicks.

I'm Molly Ringwald rolling my eyes.

I'm the orange hair coloring that made pouty little Molly Ringwald a star!

I'm the soundtrack you're still listening to today.

I'm Mercedes Lane.

I am not a name. I am an appliance.

I am John Cusack, holding a boombox to romance Ione Skye.

I am Campbell Scott, late to the party. Although face it, I was too pale and weird-looking to feature in any of these stories.

I am the fat kid. I am played by a fat character actor who never works again in any capacity.

My entire character is based on the fact that I am fat. I have no interests, activities or attributes other than fatness and am never not eating a candy bar and getting it all over myself.

I am John Hughes' talent. Once Molly and Anthony decided to give John a miss, I decided to move out with them and left John behind to make increasingly rancid films with that little Culkin twat.

I am the producer's cocaine habit. I caused OP, it is in my contract.

I am the sexual assault sold as a rite of passage. The prom queen "given" to the drunk freshman, the nerd who wears the cheerleader's boyfriend's mask and meets her to "do it on the moon".

R43, with that thing on his face, he doesn't have much of a choice.

I am the isolated creepy cabin in the woods mandatory for all 80s teen slasher flicks.

I am the dry ice machine. Regardless of what genre the film is, I m on full-blast.

I am a city alley full of street dancers and the aforementioned dry ice. If you just believe in yourself and tear enough holes in your jeans, I am always right around the corner.

I am the main teen character's bratty younger sibling. I am usually a pre-teen boy. I am only here to roast my big sister/brother.

I'm the wacky sidekick.

I am the sassyness of the black girlfriend.

R65, did 80s movies even have black people, sassy or not? I don't remember too many.

I am the Chicago Art Institute. When you first see me 30-odd years ago, you wonder what the hell I'm doing here.

Then you see me 30-odd years later and totally get it.

I'm the non-helicopter parents going about OUR lives, having a cocktail, checking in on our kids, but really not overly concerned or wanting to deal with them. We'll gladly leave them home home alone, even overnight once they're old enough (which is around 16).

I'm the broad 80s archetypes - jocks, nerds, bullies, rich bitches, etc. I actually can still be applied today to some degree, but there's been a few adjustments.

I'm the landline phone which is the center of teens' not-in-person lives.

I'm the unwillingness to REALLY explore a gay teen character.

R71, I totally agree. I also think if Weird Science were remade, Heather Duke would be a lesbian.

I'm feathered hair!

I'm the pefectly executed dance routine at the school dance that was totally made up on the spot.

I’m the clothes the girls are wearing. I’m downright matronly compared to 2022.

I'm Heather Graham.

I'm the nice tanned skin. May have a pimple or two but no tattoos in sight.

I'm the wrong side of the tracks.

I'm the male mullet.

I'm the mall.

Duckie wasn't in Sixteen Candles. Are you thinking of "Farmer Ted?"

The one who raped Jake's girlfriend with Jake's consent but, hey, girls love having unconscious sex with random nerds from their high school whom they don't actually know.

Hi, I'm rape culture. I couldn't even get arrested back then!

Look at me now, Ma!

[quote]I'm the hulking school bully. Sadly, I will not be having any nude scenes.

But the actor playing me had to present hole in order to get cast.

I'm rape culture's friend, casual racism

I'm white pantyhose.

You mean Pretty in Pink, R71. Duckie was not in Sixteen Candles.

I'm the boy that turns up my parent's stereo and slides across the livingroom floor in my tighty-whities.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

You're right, R81, and I knew that. I meant Pretty in Pink.

I'm a private school student who hooks up with my roommate's mom.

I'm the adorable swoop-haired ginger who is secretly in love with his best friend and go on an adventure

We're the line of boys in tighty-whities about to get our penises measured.

I'm the parade of Ray-Bans, competing with cord-strapped Vuarnets for attention.

I'm the wacky hat. Usually a pork-pie, but always felt. I'M AN EXTENSION OF MY CHARACTER, DO YOU GET IT!?

I'm the cardigan from The Limited.

I'm the diamond earrings

I'm blond hair! On EVERYONE!! :D

r8 I'm Veronica's damage.

I'm the White boy in the dark glasses walking goofy and talking in an affected voice to emulate Black people while cracking tasteless and overtly racist jokes. I'm also the Jock talking in an affected voice and switching around with a limp wrist while cracking tasteless and offensive jokes about homosexuals.

[quote]I'm Corey Haim's asshole.

I got around!

I'm the cigarette hanging from the cool kids lip!

I'm the dozens of empty bottles of hair mousse, brightly staring out of the garbage bin near the holding area, where all the extras are herded like cattle.

I'm teen angst bullshit.

I'm Jennifer Connelly trying to act in front of green screen and failing, mostly.

I'm Jennifer Grey's original nose.

I am Kelly Lebrock's underwear.

I am the latent homoeroticism wafting from Rob Lowe, James Spader, Robert Russler, Robert Downey Jr., Jason Priestly, etc., etc.

We are the hot mean girls who are the most popular girls in school. Everyone wants to be in our crowd

R90, this is the Let's be an 80s Teen Film thread.

The Let's be an Afternoon at Bryan Singer's thread is two doors down.

R90 describes a scene from an actual 80s teen film, R107. And no, Bryan Singer had nothing to do with the film.

It was a joke, R108.

I'm Jake Ryan. I am like no teenage boy who ever existed; I am handsome as a model, rich, and all I want is to have a girlfriend who will really love me, which causes me to reject my hot blonde cheerleader girlfriend for an orange haired sophomore who keeps staring at me all the time. It takes some doing, but I make all her dreams come true. Women to this day swoon over me. But I have not, have never been, never will be, REAL, no matter how hard some want to believe that someday, somehow there might be an actual Jake Ryan somewhere to fall in love with.

I'm the two-second flash of Tom Cruise's dick

I am the movie's few cool songs that you won't hear anywhere but the soundtrack album you buy at the mall 30 miles away, until your part of the country finally gets an alternative radio station years later.

I'm the rival dance troops (ragtag vs. rich kids) competing in the big dance-off to save the community center or prevent something from being demolished.

I'm The Terminator. Countless gay boys watched me because Arnold Schwarzenegger and Michael Biehn flashed some hot naked ass.

I'm the robot girl on Small Wonder.

I'm a Valley Girl.

r105 Jason Priestley is 90's. This is an 80's thread.

I know, R117 - I meant Jason Patric (specifically in "Lost Boys").

[quote]Zabka can plow me.

He could plow me then. He can plow me now.

^ Zaddy Zabka

R114 Arnold in Terminator! Not the most handsome, but damn - that BODY!

I'm Denim! It's what all the "cool" kids are wearing from John Bender in The Breakfast Club to the cast of The Outsiders, it was all the rage!

^ I would suck Matt Dillon dry.

I am the complete lack of diversity and representation.

I'm the pert butts in Levi's 501s and slim torsos wrapped in tight, tucked-in polo shirts.

I'm suburban angst and ennui.

I am Kiefer Sutherland in "Lost Boys". This is the one and only time I will be hot, so enjoy.

I am Alex Winter's bare midriff in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

I make babygays feel funny.

I am Kerri Green. I make The Goonies and Lucas and then run, run, run for the hills.

I am Ilan Mitchell-Smith's twinky little bod stuffed into Kelly Lebrock's two-piece. I put Alex Winter's midriff well and truly in the shade.

I am Rob Morrow running around stark fucking naked except for a turban in Private Resort. I later confess I wish I could buy every copy of this piece of shit and burn it.

We're Lambda Lambda Lambda and Omega Mu.

And we've come here on stage tonight to do a show for you.

I'm Robert Downey, wearing suits with the sleeves rolled up and you can see I am high as fuck everyday! It's even obvious in movie promos! How did people miss this? I guess nobody gave a shit.

[quote] I'm a two-second glimpse of bare breasts. I am the sole reason the male audience is here.

I'm the "BOINGGGGGG!" sound that accompanies you.

Dance troupes, not troops.

I'm the positive portrayal of gay men which stands out in a sea of anti-gay jokes and homophobia for laughs.

I am the obligatory HOT babysitter. All the hetero teen boys wanna fuck me and all the gaylings wanna do my hair!

Thanks R135. Oh, dear.

I didn't, Jr. at R133

r46 I am also the lack of arse implants.

R137 see R89.

I am the Dance Mob Scene in FAME!

it serves as the inspiration for today's Flash Mobs in movies like La La Land and Friends with Benefits. It also made everyone think they could dance for a brief period in 1980! 😂😂😂

I am the Legend of Billie Jean.

I'm headbands.

I'm your boyfriend now, Nancy.

I'm a song by Yello on the soundtrack. Or by a British new wave outfit, well past its sell-by date in the homeland, but will give them the status of a one hit wonder in America..

We’re the Coreys - doing blow on the Lot and getting blown between takes.

I'm alright. Nobody worry 'bout me.

I'm Kim Walker. I play Heather Chandler and Pauline Kael praises my "glittering teenage bravado". I play the character as an unpleasant but surprisingly complex person and possible closeted lesbian (thus my possessiveness of my beautiful female cohorts and reluctance to conform to type at the college party I attend).

Alas, I die of brain cancer at a very young age and never fulfill the promise of my talent.

I'm Laura Dern.

I'm not sure this counts as a teen movie, but let me tell you about my dream of robins bringing the light...

I'm that unfortunate Christopher Atkins Blue Lagoon perm on an otherwise beautiful specimen.

I am me, cringing after I watch that godawful dance scene in Fame at R142.

I am here to collect my two dollars.

TWO DOLLARS!!!

I'm Michael J. Fox, cute but never quite the '80s-style "heartthrob" other male leads of this era were.

I'm Corey Haim's video diary: "Me, Myself, and I." I was produced to make him look... "normal"? Did I succeed? You be the judge.

I'm the pause in between Corey writing "Corey" and "Haim" on the wall in the beginning of the disaster at R155 as he tries to remember which of the Coreys he is.

I am the grotesque "comedian" given a role because my stand-up is getting big ratings on HBO. I cannot act, my lines are unfunny (and nothing like my material) and I look like a homeless person after a bar fight. 30 years later, no one watching this thing has any idea who the fuck I am or why I am in the movie at all.

Gilbert Gottfried?

I was thinking more Bobcat Goldethwait, or however you spell his name, but Gilbert works too.

I'm Andrew McCarthy's wig.

I'm Robert Downey Jr's beard.

I'm Crispin Glover, a perennial freak.

I'm the craziness that happens when these Valley kids go cruising in L.A./Hollywood.