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Have you been shunned by family for being gay? How did you deal with it?

I have not dealt with this for a long time, and slowly some family members have “gotten over it.” Recently, I realized that some elderly members have passed the shunning along to the next generation, which has been a shock. I will survive, as I have gotten used to it. I am older, wiser, and less vulnerable to their hate. I’m surprised I even have an emotional response, but I do. There is a lot of wisdom and humor on the DL, which is why I love it here. I am genuinely curious, and hope to get some new insights. Thanks in advance…

by Anonymousreply 7January 18, 2022 11:49 AM

As I have often said---and OP proves it---DL can be like a nosy neighbor or lousy date. Some guys want a "sorrow" thread to give themselves a thrill...

by Anonymousreply 1January 18, 2022 7:20 AM

Lol @ R1

by Anonymousreply 2January 18, 2022 7:24 AM

I was pretty sure my aunt and I had fallen out because I was gay. Or is it because she’s a raging, hypocritical Evangelical cunt?

Either way, it wasn’t until she recently tried to rope me back into family drama and explain that she hadn’t excised me “because (I’m) a homosexual. I have met many lovely homosexuals” that I realized, nope… I was right.

by Anonymousreply 3January 18, 2022 7:57 AM

They decided i was damned by the age of six. They didn't want me to influence their children's non-femmy behavior.

Then, one cousin transitioned, one went to prison for statutory rape, another cousin married her best army girlfriend after a tour in Iraq, and the rest of the family has opiate issues.

by Anonymousreply 4January 18, 2022 8:57 AM

Most of us have OP. I still deal with it. I just remind myself that most people are homophobic and always will be, largely thanks to religion, but there is a lot of fucked up things about society that the majority supports. Radical acceptance of how things are, ultimately helps you cope in the long-term instead of being pushed into denialism, delusion, it cognitive dissonance. It actually helps you become stronger and live your life better, because you cut out everything and everyone who isn't healthy to be in your life.

by Anonymousreply 5January 18, 2022 9:03 AM

Thank you, R5, that was perfect, and exactly what I was hoping for…

by Anonymousreply 6January 18, 2022 10:27 AM

I wasted too much of my life not seeing my sisters as homophobic. I finally couldn't deny it anymore after one of them made me realize they had been gossipping about me for years. I realized I wasn't close to my nieces and nephews because my sisters equated being gay with being a pedophile. When you finally see people for who they really are it's amazing how easy it is to no longer care what they think or say. I told them I forgave them but never wanted to see or hear from them ever again. That was 13 years ago and my life is so much better without them in it.

by Anonymousreply 7January 18, 2022 11:49 AM
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