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Is it ever reasonable or excusable to cut ties with a parent?

If so, what would it take for you? Or what do you think is reasonable for a person?

by Anonymousreply 12January 14, 2022 4:26 AM

I haven't spoken more than 20 words to my mother since I was 13 and I do believe at least 8 of those words were 'fuck off'.

I cut my father out too but it was more of a mutual thing.

by Anonymousreply 1January 14, 2022 2:39 AM

OP, cut ties. You're over thinking of others instead of focusing on yourself.

Park her in urgent care, hop on your razor scooter and rolllllll away.

by Anonymousreply 2January 14, 2022 2:44 AM

If you have a physically or emotionally abusive parent, it is in your best interest to cut ties. It can also be advisable to distance yourself or limit contact with family members if the relationships are toxic.

I stop communications with my father after his silent disapproval of me as I was growing up led to depression and eventual psychiatric care. Maintaining contact with him would have served no purpose.

by Anonymousreply 3January 14, 2022 2:44 AM

Of course it is reasonable. But under which circumstances is absolutely up to the person who does it. Just don't expect everyone will laud you for it.

by Anonymousreply 4January 14, 2022 2:46 AM

I'm really struggling with my decade+ little to no contact with my mother as she's getting older and has reached out recently.

I feel physically sick to my stomach when my phone rings and it's her or she hangs on my door unannounced. Her former counselor said she was "on the borderline" of having histrionic and borderline personality disorders. I grew up with all of the "adverse childhood experiences" that now have a name. She's treated me like and ATM as she careens from crisis to crisis, and often self-generated chaos. When I have dared suggest she avoid such-and-such risk she blowtorches me with her fury. I feel 100% depleted having contact with her. My former counselor considered her treatment of me to be financial abuse.

But, she probably is indeed a sick woman. Don't we owe sick parents support? She was traumatized too. Am I holding such a person to too high a standard?

by Anonymousreply 5January 14, 2022 2:47 AM

pft, if I found out my mother was dying I would visit her. to pinch the bitch's oxygen tube. it would still be kinder, less abusive and more generous than any one day of treatment I ever had from her. Children owe parents NOTHING.

by Anonymousreply 6January 14, 2022 2:50 AM

That's really the mother's prerogative.

by Anonymousreply 7January 14, 2022 3:01 AM

Of course it is! My step dad was abusive and my mother did nothing. When he died, I recorded myself doing a happy dance and sent it to my sister.

I will do the same when my mother dies.

by Anonymousreply 8January 14, 2022 3:03 AM

I like the cut of your jib r8

by Anonymousreply 9January 14, 2022 3:04 AM

I'm OP & R5, I know my post is riddled with weird auto-correct errors. Thanks for everyone's replies.

by Anonymousreply 10January 14, 2022 3:08 AM

My mother was very disappointed that I didn't turn into a heart breaker. As in leaving women in tears when I discovered a new amor. Ha! Parents are idiots. I haven't completely cut ties with her but we rarely speak. And my father was worse. But he's dead so yeah I've cut ties with him. He grew up in Europe during the war and my biggest regret in life was that the allies didn't bomb him to kingdom come when he was a child. He came out alright and I was forced to suffer the blitzkrieg of his abuse.

In other words OP of course.

by Anonymousreply 11January 14, 2022 3:25 AM

All these incidents are abuse. If people abuse you, they can't be in your life. Period. You don't have to love or care for someone just because they're related to you. Love is earned.

by Anonymousreply 12January 14, 2022 4:26 AM
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