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Aspects of gay culture that you dislike irrationally

Open relationships: Yes I know straight people have open relationships. But it is not as ubiquitous among them. I just recently started dating after a toxic relationship ended years ago. One of the reasons I called it off was my ex wanted to invite others in our bed. Maybe I am old fashioned or outdated, but I was raised to believe a monogamous relationship was the best. Also a monogamous relationship is safe, healthy, and another manner of bonding. But on dating apps, out at gay events, and et al, I constantly meet people who openly talk about their open relationships. Is sex so important? Isn’t that rather childish? And what sort of relationship is based on the ability to cheat? Once you cheat at one thing isn’t it easier to cheat in some other way?

by Anonymousreply 348February 23, 2022 4:19 PM

OP, that’s a perfectly rational opinion. Open relationships are the worst of both worlds.

by Anonymousreply 1December 29, 2021 4:33 PM

I'm with you, OP, but we seem to be in the minority.

by Anonymousreply 2December 29, 2021 4:33 PM

Why the love for trans but the loathe for ex-gays.

by Anonymousreply 3December 29, 2021 4:35 PM

I experienced a similar situation. So I said to him, “Let me have a commitment before I have to settle for an arrangement.”

by Anonymousreply 4December 29, 2021 4:36 PM

Is that irrational? ^

by Anonymousreply 5December 29, 2021 4:36 PM

R3 what love for trans?

by Anonymousreply 6December 29, 2021 4:36 PM

R4 that’s a great line.

by Anonymousreply 7December 29, 2021 4:38 PM

Huge love. White gay men donate millions to the trans movement.

by Anonymousreply 8December 29, 2021 4:38 PM

I think OP and her ilk seem to worry too much about what others are doing. If you want a monogamous relationship, hang out in places where you might meet a man that also wants one.

If you're on dating apps/sex apps or at a bar, guess what? It's unlikely to near impossible to find a relationship in those spaces. Just like one does not go to McDonald's for filet mignon.

by Anonymousreply 9December 29, 2021 4:40 PM

[quote] I think OP and her ilk seem to worry too much about what others are doing. If you want a monogamous relationship, hang out in places where you might meet a man that also wants one.

Where exactly? Every where you’d go is already crowded with men in relationships looking for a little on the side. It’s disgusting.

by Anonymousreply 10December 29, 2021 4:44 PM

[quote] and et al,

Oh, dear.

by Anonymousreply 11December 29, 2021 4:54 PM

Bitchiness.

by Anonymousreply 12December 29, 2021 4:57 PM

Vodka sodas. Order a real cocktail, Nancy.

by Anonymousreply 13December 29, 2021 4:57 PM

Open relationships seem fine to me as long as my partner is honest and being safe and regularly tested. Threesomes can spice things up. I think we assign too much baggage to sex because of Christianity. There's nothing wrong with monogamy but there's nothing wrong with open relationships either. It all is an individual preference. Dating apps are just used for sex at this point.

by Anonymousreply 14December 29, 2021 5:00 PM

Drag. Does every gay themed event have to involve a fucking drag queen? It’s gotten tiresome.

by Anonymousreply 15December 29, 2021 5:06 PM

Gay culture in general doesn't seem "gay" anymore. It's gentrified. Everything seems to be on display for straight people to gawk at.

by Anonymousreply 16December 29, 2021 5:09 PM

R16 that’s the price we pay for gay “rights” and being accepted by the mainstream. I preferred when people could be honest about hating us. We had our own genuine corner of culture and we’ve given it up so like 1% of gay men can get married and cheat on their husband anyway. We were sold a bill of goods.

by Anonymousreply 17December 29, 2021 5:12 PM

This is not something I’m proud of, but I don’t like dancing unless I’m watching trained professionals do it. It’s embarrassing to watch normal people dance.

by Anonymousreply 18December 29, 2021 5:12 PM

Gay voice.

Politically correct lesbians.

by Anonymousreply 19December 29, 2021 5:12 PM

It's possible that a couple's sex life can dwindle into nothingness and, at that point, I do believe a conversation needs to happen. If you're 35 or 40 and sex is basically off the table with your partner for the foreseeable future, that seems like an awfully horrible way to spend the rest of your years. I don't think it's cheating if there's a genuine discussion about someone's needs not being met. If you're not going to fuck them, you can't be surprised when they'd like to find someone who will.

by Anonymousreply 20December 29, 2021 5:13 PM

The sudden urge for everyone to be married and have children. Children are expensive and exhausting. I'd rather enjoy my life, thank you.

by Anonymousreply 21December 29, 2021 5:13 PM

People who say GURRRRLLLLL make me want to stab them in the temple with a rusty ice pick.

by Anonymousreply 22December 29, 2021 5:15 PM

Saying things like "don't make us be HETERONORMATIVE" as an excuse to cheat and have open relationships

by Anonymousreply 23December 29, 2021 5:15 PM

Troll thread created by Defugto.

by Anonymousreply 24December 29, 2021 5:15 PM

You seem deeply hurt, OP. Nothing personal, but I wonder what you aren't/weren't providing that makes a potential partner seek more?

Sex is fun, and no big deal.

by Anonymousreply 25December 29, 2021 5:16 PM

R4 That might be one of the most pathetic things I've read.

by Anonymousreply 26December 29, 2021 5:16 PM

Looking at your IP address, Defacto, you have several fake accounts. Why?

by Anonymousreply 27December 29, 2021 5:17 PM

R27 no, you’re not, and no, I don’t.

by Anonymousreply 28December 29, 2021 5:19 PM

The Defacto troll has many accounts it uses to post false support for its rightwing/self-hating garbage. Just look at this thread.

by Anonymousreply 29December 29, 2021 5:19 PM

Bossy bottoms. Just spread your legs and stfu. You’re a hole and I don’t need your drama.

by Anonymousreply 30December 29, 2021 5:19 PM

Microscopic critical examinations of gay culture by gays.

And bossy bottoms.

by Anonymousreply 31December 29, 2021 5:20 PM

It's pitiful the way Defacto keeps getting banned and immediately slithers back. It's like a boil on this site that needs to be lanced periodically.

by Anonymousreply 32December 29, 2021 5:24 PM

But who cares. It’s just a website.

by Anonymousreply 33December 29, 2021 5:26 PM

R28 Oh, bless your heart, but I do - I can assure you.

by Anonymousreply 34December 29, 2021 5:26 PM

You can't look up people's IP address on DL.

by Anonymousreply 35December 29, 2021 5:27 PM

I dislike the fact gays think they actually have a 'culture.'

by Anonymousreply 36December 29, 2021 5:28 PM

R35 YOU might not be able to

by Anonymousreply 37December 29, 2021 5:28 PM

R32 I have a different take. I think it’s pitiful that people can’t just come here and enjoy being around other gay men and have fun. People are uptight for no reason and feel the need to point out that an EST isn’t true or a thread was bumped. Duh. We all know. Just enjoy it and have fun with it.

by Anonymousreply 38December 29, 2021 5:33 PM

Ugliness and short hair in lesbians

by Anonymousreply 39December 29, 2021 5:33 PM

R38 You don't like gay men (including yourself). Your posts, the threads you bump and the threads you create range from insidiously trollish to blatantly homophobic and bigoted towards all the usual targets of the right wing.

There's nothing fun about your presence here.

by Anonymousreply 40December 29, 2021 5:41 PM

R25 sex is fun and not a big deal- all the more reason to have a monogamous because it’s not a big deal and why not have fun with your partner-who,hopefully, knows you. Sex can be deeper with knowledge of all kinds.

by Anonymousreply 41December 29, 2021 5:46 PM

[quote] Aspects of gay culture that you dislike irrationally

Self loathers who feel the need to start threads like this one.

You can create your very own Hallmark version of the Gay Community where every single member acts like he's a sexless robot who wants monogamy and a clean, drama and drag free, and sober living. Some gays are into that. You just need to find each other on social media and move in together in a big house.

If you can't appreciate diversity, maybe you should look into Star Trek LARPing and form your own Borg colony.

by Anonymousreply 42December 29, 2021 5:51 PM

Drag. 🙄

by Anonymousreply 43December 29, 2021 5:53 PM

Humans like sex. And a vast majority of humans, especially men, seem to like a variety of sex partners.

This doesn't mean we can't commit to one partner. Or that monogamy isn't a noble pursuit. It often is.

But why limit yourself to one partner if it's not harming the partnership to add a third or get a side piece? As long as the parameters are agreed upon and respected by both partners.

Hell, it can actually be a great bonding experience and expression of love to know that your partner might fuck around, but he always comes home to you (and vice versa).

And I say this as someone who's always monogamous. But I understand it's not for everyone.

Oh, Defuckoff, no one cares what you think. Please just go away. Or do us all a favor (I know, this would mean NOT acting like a sociopath narcissist) and quit signing your posts. Your name itself gives me, and I suspect many others, the creeps. All of your personalities are truly horrible.

by Anonymousreply 44December 29, 2021 6:19 PM

The thread literally has “irrationally” in the title, so I don’t see the point of arguing the validity or logic of the responses.

by Anonymousreply 45December 29, 2021 6:30 PM

[quote] [R32] I have a different take.

Your ‘different take’ is that you are a gay man who is opposed to gay rights, which is fucking gross.

[quote] I think it’s pitiful that people can’t just come here and enjoy being around other gay men and have fun

We DO enjoy being around other gay men, just not YOU! Why would we?! You are a toxic, poisonous person. If you had your way, we’d still be getting arrested for having gay sex.

You’re a monstrous person who aligns himself with people who hate us. Why would anyone seek your company?

by Anonymousreply 46December 29, 2021 6:42 PM

Sure Jan. R37

by Anonymousreply 47December 29, 2021 7:07 PM

R45 Learn English

by Anonymousreply 48December 29, 2021 7:58 PM

The (thankfully small) subculture of the "Omg, like, literally, I was like watching Real Housewives and Rupaul, like literally"

Thank god I only come across those freaks from time to time.

by Anonymousreply 49December 29, 2021 8:01 PM

I completely agree with you. If we love each other we don't have to fuck around.

by Anonymousreply 50December 29, 2021 8:05 PM

Love and sex can be disconnected

by Anonymousreply 51December 29, 2021 8:06 PM

Defacto, I like you. I don't know why is the lynching crowd after you.

by Anonymousreply 52December 29, 2021 8:08 PM

R30 Silly faggot, if you were a macho man you would be after pussy, not after man holes.

by Anonymousreply 53December 29, 2021 8:13 PM

[quote] Why the love for trans but the loathe for ex-gays.

Because ex-gay is no more real than ex-straight. Ex-gay was made up by the right wing to show that gay is a condition that needs to be treated.

by Anonymousreply 54December 29, 2021 8:21 PM

Too many gay men go to therapy and then talk therapy language all the time. Ugh, I hate that in gay culture.

That and the ubiquitous meth addiction.

by Anonymousreply 55December 29, 2021 8:31 PM

Disco, dance music—whatever it was called, in whichever decade it existed.

by Anonymousreply 56December 29, 2021 8:36 PM

Diva worship

by Anonymousreply 57December 29, 2021 8:36 PM

Gay Republicans

by Anonymousreply 58December 29, 2021 8:40 PM

the uptight mofos that want to police every aspect of your sexuality even down to who you vote for...

the transtrenders, the terfs, the conservatives, the liberals, the furries, by g-ds, the mf'ing furries.... does anyone remember when having a pup did not mean someone who believed they were a tri-gendered pyrofox

toronto moving the gay steps and the toolbox turning to shit because of agender asexuals (str8 girl wanna be dykes) went on a rampage to destroy all masculine pubs from leather to motorcycle to bears, etc, montreal losing everything to it except strip clubs -- the politics - not just gay per se leftism in general - right or left all the saame authoritarian bs where everyone wants to police everyone else in the bedroom and beyond. or the fact when the lgbt community was NEITHER left or right. this utter history whitewash that pretends democrats or other leftists were ever any better they were all shit. and still are allshit.

it goes for so many other former gay ghettos - san fran went to shit in the early 90s with tech boom but how many are nostalgic for that compared to what it's become today.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 59December 29, 2021 8:41 PM

What’s wrong with your shift key?

by Anonymousreply 60December 29, 2021 8:58 PM

it's not even gay culture, it's just culture..

there really isn't a gay culture.

when's the last time the DL felt like a community to you, really?

everything's just too big.

even the small, middle of nowhere, backwards boonies gay community has no semblance to community anymore... and you just sound like an old fuck or a kid that discovered how coddled their youth was...

a time capsule you'll never fucking get back to.

everything's illusion..

we go backwards in time more than forward. history just keeps repeating, and we were stupid once, young enough, to believe in the myth of it gets better.

our worlds become smaller... and smaller

gay or lesbian, getting old sucks... albeit the community was outright evil shit to most of us when we were young, too, the community eats its own more and better than other communities -- exactly because of our struggles. there's no empathy.

Do you know of any grown lesbian or gay man that didn't have a hard fucking lesson growing up when it came to the community -- it's fun when you're 21 but before and after, you've likely got far more scars from this community than any other you've belong to.

but again, maybe that's just culture in general.

we don't dare talk abou tthe shit in the community because we're attacked at all sides, and some of it validates the worst haters against the community, so the worst aspects of the community never really change... I'd say lgbt are among the harshest critics when it comes to victims, cold hearted, despite all the protests, all the rainbow fucking everything, the biggest hatred, mistrust of the community.. it's in the air we breathe, it's a multigenerational legacy passed down scars upon scars upon scars with all the entitlements muff diving or fudge packing can bring.

and yes, sorry bisexuals and trannies for leaving you out but you got your own shit and it's separate to gay men and women... even if you spent 40 years in a same sex relationship or far more frequently as many of you do str8 ones despite that you might pull your pud or shebop to same sex porn. that one time a band camp doesn't include you.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 61December 29, 2021 9:00 PM

[quote] everything's just too big.

Good for you. My local Gay Community is rather small and delightful.

by Anonymousreply 62December 29, 2021 9:09 PM

R60 Shift keys are 20th century.

We talk Gibberish now.

by Anonymousreply 63December 29, 2021 9:30 PM

Manifestos abound!

by Anonymousreply 64December 29, 2021 9:35 PM

Bears and leather queens trying to act butch. What a bunch of old ladies.

by Anonymousreply 65December 29, 2021 9:40 PM

I agree with OP. If I am in a relationship then there cannot be side hook-ups from either side. It is what I consider a deal breaker.

by Anonymousreply 66December 29, 2021 9:56 PM

R52 thank you, sweetie. It’s because they’re overly serious cunts who don’t get my humor.

by Anonymousreply 67December 30, 2021 2:20 AM

While we love to pretend there is some general accepting and loving gay community, there really isn;t

by Anonymousreply 68December 30, 2021 5:50 PM

The recent trend of of associating "gay" with "female" such as in R9: [quote] I think OP and her ilk...

We're gay. We're male; we have no female parts.

by Anonymousreply 69December 30, 2021 5:59 PM

Monogamy isn’t a thing if you’re not having sex.

by Anonymousreply 70December 30, 2021 6:18 PM

[quote]Monogamy isn’t a thing if you’re not having sex.

Sologamy.

by Anonymousreply 71December 30, 2021 7:41 PM

Bump

by Anonymousreply 72January 4, 2022 11:14 PM

The push for hetero normative sex in this comunity sickness me, gays must really hate being gay to push straight sex as gay sex and women as gay men.

by Anonymousreply 73January 4, 2022 11:28 PM

Rupaul and Real Housewives shit. Just shoot me.

by Anonymousreply 74January 4, 2022 11:30 PM

There are upper-class cliques in our gay community. I was invited to a dinner party with them. Never again.

They snicker at everyone else in the gay community, even those who are fighting for our rights in the courts, our media figures, our brilliant artists in every discipline. I was ashamed to be there. I think I was invited because I am a bodybuilder; they expected a show. I didn't deliver. No more invitations for me.

by Anonymousreply 75January 4, 2022 11:50 PM

Diva worship. It made sense when we had no representation at all in the past. But so many gay men and lesbians live their lives openly and are involved in the arts, politics, science, academia, literature, etc. It makes no sense to me to continue to put these straight female celebrities on a pedestal especially when so many exploit their gay fans for clout and don't do shit for gay rights.

by Anonymousreply 76January 5, 2022 12:29 AM

[quote]The recent trend of of associating "gay" with "female" such as in [R9]

You honestly think that is recent? That goes way back. You may hate it, but it's been a part of gay culture from the beginning.

by Anonymousreply 77January 5, 2022 12:34 AM

Men masturbating at a nude beach. It brings the whole concept down.

by Anonymousreply 78January 5, 2022 1:35 AM

Twinks, Sluts, Leather/Kink, and A-Gays.

by Anonymousreply 79January 5, 2022 2:55 AM

i really dislike that every gay couple gets a third when they hit middle age

by Anonymousreply 80January 5, 2022 3:10 AM

Gerascophobia

by Anonymousreply 81January 5, 2022 3:25 AM

bathhouses and saunas and gym shower blowjobs

by Anonymousreply 82January 5, 2022 3:45 AM

[quote] i really dislike that every gay couple gets a third when they hit middle age

Ummm. Most don’t wait that long.

by Anonymousreply 83January 5, 2022 4:02 AM

Extreme nelliness for the sake of nelliness. Gay Camp is a high art from, and I’m all for it as an important cultural legacy, proven by the recent Metropolitan Museum of Art. But today this pops up in my YouTube videos and it’s repulsive and makes me angry. I only watched about five seconds the first time, and was going to watch it through before posting, but it just turned me off so much I couldn’t watch it. This isn’t Camp, or being flamboyantly Gay, this is like Gay minstrel stow level of performance and I don’t even know who the fuck this is supposed to be for, no self respecting Gay person should be supporting this degrading clownifcation of a culture that should be held up and exalted. I can barely think of this creature as a man and he shouldn’t be given a platform. Repulsive, repulsive, repulsive.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 84January 5, 2022 4:56 AM

[quote] Diva worship. It made sense when we had no representation at all in the past. But so many gay men and lesbians live their lives openly and are involved in the arts, politics, science, academia, literature, etc. It makes no sense to me to continue to put these straight female celebrities on a pedestal especially when so many exploit their gay fans for clout and don't do shit for gay rights

Hmmmm…I dunno what the explanation is, but, for gay men, i don’t know if it’s down to identification! Anderson Cooper and Neil Patrick Harris are BORING! Andy Cohen is an embarrassment i don’t WANT to ‘identify’ with.

Maybe in another generation we’ll see ‘divas’ being dropped as a gay ‘thing,’ but i honestly just think they’re more fun than ‘regular’ gay guys. Does anyone past college-age seek or WANT ‘role-models?’

[quote] It’s because they’re overly serious cunts who don’t get my humor.

Oh honey, we GET you! You hate yourself and other gay men, but that makes sense! 99% of the people you interact with here ALSO hate you, so it tracks!

by Anonymousreply 85January 5, 2022 5:18 AM

[quote] Hmmmm…I dunno what the explanation is, but, for gay men, i don’t know if it’s down to identification! Anderson Cooper and Neil Patrick Harris are BORING! Andy Cohen is an embarrassment i don’t WANT to ‘identify’ with. Maybe in another generation we’ll see ‘divas’ being dropped as a gay ‘thing,’ but i honestly just think they’re more fun than ‘regular’ gay guys. Does anyone past college-age seek or WANT ‘role-models?’

I don't see how straight female pop stars are interesting nor why gays obsess over manufactured music that's created in lab. Enjoying some catchy tunes and choreography is fine but why worship them? Also Anderson Cooper is a news anchor born into a wealthy family. Neil Patrick Harris is a media-trained former child actor. Andy Cohen is just a fame whore. How are those "regular" gay guys?

by Anonymousreply 86January 5, 2022 5:29 AM

I dislike other gay men, who don't tolerate anyone else having a good time. The whole, "we're better than this", rhetoric's a real buzzkill. I can have good time just being around others having a great time.

by Anonymousreply 87January 5, 2022 5:29 AM

The set up to this thread is difficult. Accordingly, most of you missed the point about "irrationally". You have rational reasons for your latest shit list. Maybe that's just as well. I can't imagine there are lot of deal-breakers and dislikable things that are irrationally so.

Let's see. I dislike happy gay couples! See, that would be irrational. (Also itsli's not my case.)

What the fuck would be stuff on dislikes "irrationally"???!!!

by Anonymousreply 88January 5, 2022 7:15 AM

[quote] The set up to this thread is difficult.

It's just as difficult and stupid as all those inane threads which ask 'Who Is The Favorite Movie Star" of "Who Is The Most Overlooked Star?".

by Anonymousreply 89January 5, 2022 7:22 AM

Bossy bottoms. Just spread your legs and stfu. You’re a hole and I don’t need your drama.

—Top

I'll make a cast of your dick and shove it up your ass without any decorum and see how you like it, cunt

by Anonymousreply 90January 5, 2022 8:31 AM

I irrationally dislike gays who insist on monogamous relationships for gay men, as if it's a higher level of being and who use the word "cheating." I know monogamy sounds pretty but it's not for men. My bible is human nature, and it is important to know when you're moving with it and against it. Monogamy goes against human nature. I am not saying it is impossible but it goes against who we are as men and culturally was set up to protect bloodlines and against inbreeding and incest related deformities in children. It had nothing to do with love, or respect. That was the fable rolled out around it to make people do it. Monogamy - between a man and woman - is about protecting a society, not love.

So any responsible gay adult male can have a successful loving relationship without make sex conformity the centrepiece of its success. Two loving men can have different sexual partners at times, yet be fully committed to each other. If done in a mature and respectful way, it's actually the main secret to a long term relationship that seems to be eluding all of the monogamy-insisters.

I think it is extremely ego-centric to think you are the be-all, end-all to another human beings sexual desires and exploration, just because they are with you. That always eventually breeds resentment. And never works.

by Anonymousreply 91January 5, 2022 8:37 AM

Why is that "irrational", R91? You have cogent, thoughtful, and articulate rationales. Not "irrational". This thread is pointless. Even you, who seems intelligent, just throws in the "irrational" word. To go along? Why?

by Anonymousreply 92January 5, 2022 8:40 AM

It's irrational, r92, in as much as a "dislike" can be irrational, because as a society we are trained to embrace monogamy. Both the post title is irrational itself.

by Anonymousreply 93January 5, 2022 8:55 AM

Many cultures don't embrace monogamy. At least not for men.

by Anonymousreply 94January 5, 2022 8:59 AM

So much of human sexuality falls outside of the realm of "love." You can have loving sex with your husband and get your balls busted by a complete stranger.

by Anonymousreply 95January 5, 2022 9:10 AM

The problem R91 is that they are rarely responsible.

by Anonymousreply 96January 5, 2022 5:26 PM

Monogamy is outdated. It made sense in the past for survival but now we have so many options to live our lives thanks to technology. Some people are monogamous. While others aren't. The push for every gay to be in a monogamous marriage with kids is ridiculous. Part of being gay is not having to conform to heteronormative roles.

by Anonymousreply 97January 5, 2022 5:29 PM

The compulsive whoring. It's not helpful.

by Anonymousreply 98January 5, 2022 5:36 PM

Gays who cite heteronormative as a justification for everything they hate. It's as annoying as all that pronoun shit.

by Anonymousreply 99January 5, 2022 5:37 PM

Monogamous relationships.. STUPID!

by Anonymousreply 100January 5, 2022 5:39 PM

Monogamy shmanogamy.

I just want the two other gay men who go to my gym not to sing along with whatever music is pumping through their air pods.

by Anonymousreply 101January 5, 2022 5:54 PM

Bump

by Anonymousreply 102January 18, 2022 11:41 PM

I’m with you, OP 100%. I also despise trashy gays.

by Anonymousreply 103January 18, 2022 11:51 PM

Then why are you here?

by Anonymousreply 104January 18, 2022 11:55 PM

Drag is not entertainment to me.

by Anonymousreply 105January 18, 2022 11:59 PM

Gay men who seem obsessed with the approval of straight women. I always feel like that comes down to lingering mommy issues, but I hate when I hear gay men sound like the average "F the Patriarchy" Humanities Major chick. It's like, uh, how can you say fuck the patriarchy when that's literally what you're trying to do? Women have to learn to make peace with straight men; they don't need your gay ass sucking their titties and building up their self-esteem so they get all the attention and validation of a romantic relationship without having to give anything because there's no risk involved that you're going to ever try to sleep with them.

by Anonymousreply 106January 19, 2022 12:01 AM

R106 I'm a gay male but I've never understood why it's expected that I automatically have to identify with straight women or have an intense desire for female friends. I mostly get along with other men and have more in common with men, straight and gay, than I do with women. And while I do think society is patriarchal and misogynistic, I think men especially gay, bisexua, working-class and racial minorities are also victims of the power structure too. Instead of villifying the male sex as a whole, there has to be more conversations and less shutting down men with immature phrases like "mansplaining". We need to simply create more spaces to allow men to express their emotions, their opinions and grievances and remove stigma towards male-on-male intimacy and adult men in primary education.

by Anonymousreply 107January 19, 2022 12:40 AM

Slutty gays whose only hobby seems to be sex with strangers.

by Anonymousreply 108January 20, 2022 4:05 AM

[quote] shutting down men with immature phrases like "mansplaining".

Okay, but you have to admit, "manspreading" is a real thing. Love manspreading.

by Anonymousreply 109January 20, 2022 5:39 AM

Straight men are becoming less homophobic and many have gay male friends now. Gay men and straight women were allies historically because both were victims of patriarchy but as time has progressed, that is less and less so. Some straight women seem annoyed by how some gay men are very indifferent to them and won't compliment them or provide emotional support. Many believe gay men are women in men's bodies and care about makeup, fashion and hair and want constant validation. As gay men are becoming more and more represented in the media, we are seeing a broader display of different types of gays: masculine, nerdy, feminine, introverted, etc.

by Anonymousreply 110January 20, 2022 5:09 PM

Drag queens

by Anonymousreply 111January 20, 2022 6:08 PM

Surrogacy

by Anonymousreply 112January 20, 2022 6:09 PM

[quote]Part of being gay is not having to conform to heteronormative roles.

No one has to conform to anything. It has nothing to do with bein gay

by Anonymousreply 113January 20, 2022 7:25 PM

Drag queens (they aren't funny anymore) and circuit gays clones.

by Anonymousreply 114January 20, 2022 8:27 PM

Gay guys who have become "influencers" for wearing women's makeup

by Anonymousreply 115January 21, 2022 2:54 AM

[quote] Slutty gays whose only hobby seems to be sex with strangers

Im guessing you haven't gotten laid in years.

[quote] The compulsive whoring. It's not helpful

And here’s another one!

I have an irrational dislike of those who worry about what other people are doing. Get some business of your own and you wont notice what anyone else is doing or not doing.

by Anonymousreply 116January 21, 2022 9:32 PM

R116, I really appreciate you taking time out from lurking in the bushes for anon cock long enough to reply.

by Anonymousreply 117January 22, 2022 6:44 PM

^ LOL. No skin in this game but it was a good comeback. LOL.

by Anonymousreply 118January 22, 2022 7:15 PM

Actually it was really one of the best.

Good show, r117!

by Anonymousreply 119January 22, 2022 7:35 PM

[quote] ^ LOL. No skin in this game but it was a good comeback. LOL

Yeah, it was pretty good; still makes him a busybody priss-pot, though.

by Anonymousreply 120January 22, 2022 8:37 PM

r16 interesting observation. It's like we're putting on a minstrel show for the "straights" so they will accept us! Look at me tap dance for your pleasure, straight person.

by Anonymousreply 121January 22, 2022 8:44 PM

No, R120, it just means he has different view of the world than yours.

by Anonymousreply 122January 22, 2022 9:41 PM

[...]

by Anonymousreply 123January 22, 2022 9:45 PM

[...]

by Anonymousreply 124January 22, 2022 9:51 PM

Performative femininity is just a ridiculous and damaging as performative masculinity.

by Anonymousreply 125January 22, 2022 9:57 PM

^ You are quick to judge, Dark Minge Lord.

by Anonymousreply 126January 22, 2022 9:57 PM

[...]

by Anonymousreply 127January 22, 2022 9:58 PM

Bottoms who don’t cum.

by Anonymousreply 128January 22, 2022 10:01 PM

[quote]I don't think it's cheating if there's a genuine discussion about someone's needs not being met.

Oh yeah? Well what about MY womanly needs, Marge?

by Anonymousreply 129January 22, 2022 10:01 PM

Open relationships are an abomination.

by Anonymousreply 130January 22, 2022 10:02 PM

[quote] Performative femininity is just a ridiculous and damaging as performative masculinity

I think its worse. Women don’t act like. Who are they supposed to be? Teenage girls? I’m a teacher; few actual teenage girls are that flighty and silly.

by Anonymousreply 131January 23, 2022 9:10 AM

I don't know if it's some element of self-loathing, but I don't like to see extreme femininity in gay men in public settings. I don't mind seeing it in an all-gay environment, such as drag queens performing in a bar, but if I watch people camping it up on a TV program or in a restaurant, it grates on me. I regard that sort of exaggerated femininity as campy, but I think campy is supposed to sort of be an inside joke for gay consumption only and I think it reinforces stereotypes that straight people carry around about gay men. I don't think that gay men need to be straight acting either, but they can have sort of a dignified decorum in public. For example, Tim Gunn and Anderson Cooper and Neil Patrick Harris are all gay and have some gay mannerisms, but are not in the same ball park as someone like Christian Siriano, who simpers and prances non-stop.

by Anonymousreply 132January 23, 2022 9:49 AM

The AIDS

by Anonymousreply 133January 23, 2022 10:14 AM

R132 I think a lot of it is reinforced. A lot of gays tend to be a little more feminine which can get them bullied. But if they embrace it and camp it up, then girls like it and befriend them. So they do it more and more and soon forget who they are.

by Anonymousreply 134January 23, 2022 10:22 AM

Centring your whole personality and existence around what you're into sexually, and all the cosplay that goes with it. Seriously: 'bears', 'otters', 'power bottoms, '100 TOTAL TOPS!!!' (must always be capitalized). etc. For Christ's sake, grow up!

by Anonymousreply 135January 23, 2022 10:30 AM

I don't like the presumptuous "kiss and hug" that takes places every time you meet one of your gay friends. I'm a hand-shaker.

by Anonymousreply 136January 23, 2022 10:36 AM

R136 Do you have Parkinson’s?

by Anonymousreply 137January 23, 2022 10:40 AM

No, but maybe I need to reduce my caffeine intake!

by Anonymousreply 138January 23, 2022 10:46 AM

[quote]Open relationships:

Open relationships are mostly a straight thing.

by Anonymousreply 139January 23, 2022 11:44 AM

Leather here too. Especially wearing a harness.

by Anonymousreply 140January 23, 2022 11:53 AM

And especially wearing a harness in public, giving the impression that we all are someone into being harnessed.

by Anonymousreply 141January 23, 2022 11:54 AM

Fetishizng the Wizard of Oz

by Anonymousreply 142January 23, 2022 12:01 PM

Drag Race. Who cares?

by Anonymousreply 143January 23, 2022 12:20 PM

Open relationships make sense for two men especially young. As long as both are tested and honest. It's not that big a deal. I can see why women don't like it and lesbians probably don't do it.

by Anonymousreply 144January 23, 2022 12:20 PM

R84, that dude in the video needs to man the fuck up.

by Anonymousreply 145January 23, 2022 12:54 PM

[...]

by Anonymousreply 146January 23, 2022 2:35 PM

Closet cases, celebrities especially.

by Anonymousreply 147January 23, 2022 4:50 PM

[...]

by Anonymousreply 148January 23, 2022 5:01 PM

[quote] Centring your whole personality and existence around what you're into sexually, and all the cosplay that goes with it. Seriously: 'bears', 'otters', 'power bottoms, '100 TOTAL TOPS!!!' (must always be capitalized). etc. For Christ's sake, grow up!

Where do you see this? People wearing name tags or something?

by Anonymousreply 149January 23, 2022 5:46 PM

[quote] How did drag, diva worship, and femininity become part off gay identity. I don't understand it.

Im guessing they were the ones who couldn’t hide it, so they set the rules By default.

by Anonymousreply 150January 23, 2022 6:01 PM

Honestly it's like any minority group. The vocal ones get the most attention and press. So the heterosexual population associates every gay with this. Most straight people are not interested in watching films by gay men or lesbians or reading fiction or historical research by gay and lesbian authors. Takes too much effort. So RuPaul, Queer Eye, Will and Grace and etc is what people think all gays are.

by Anonymousreply 151January 23, 2022 6:05 PM

Other then that Tyler Perry drag queen, no one names their daughters Medea. Clytemnestra isn’t too popular either.

by Anonymousreply 152January 23, 2022 6:17 PM

The closet.

Hate that it gives the notion that all gay men are afraid of straight people.

by Anonymousreply 153January 23, 2022 6:25 PM

Aspects of gay culture that you dislike irrationally:

The rampant narcissism.

by Anonymousreply 154January 23, 2022 6:31 PM

The whole coming out thing like it's some singular major event is ridiculous. Most people come out in different stages and it's always better to do when you're comfortable and feel safe. Usually most come out to close friends and relatives first and the public later.

by Anonymousreply 155January 23, 2022 6:31 PM

I think that extreme feminine behavior is the Amos N’ Andy version of being gay. I agree with R134- many gay men are a bit more feminine than their straight counterpart. The trouble is that many gay men come out and think that being effeminate is a rite of passage in gay life. I also agree that that behavior makes people- straight, and other gay men- think less of us. So it becomes a self filling prophecy: I am a gay men- straight men don’t like me because I act gay- not straight men don’t like me because no man wants to be around someone who is imitating all the worst stereotypes of a young girl. I also think it is a sign of self- loathing. They think this is what I am supposed to be. So I lower myself to oblige. I had a lesbian co-worker who once told me that her new girlfriend’s coterie was constantly trying to butch her up. She felt like they wanted her to prove a point- or take a stand. I thought it was just the social pressure of self-loathing.

by Anonymousreply 156January 23, 2022 6:48 PM

A lot of straight men once they get to really know gay men find they're really not that different in values and outlook. Just different in physical attraction. Many straight men don't like being around women who are overly feminine and dramatic and find them boring and annoying. But gay men who aren't stereotypical or over the top obnoxious can make many straight male friends.

by Anonymousreply 157January 23, 2022 6:53 PM

[...]

by Anonymousreply 158January 23, 2022 7:01 PM

[quote] "Vodka sodas. Order a real cocktail, Nancy."

Scotch. Rocks. Thanks.

by Anonymousreply 159January 23, 2022 7:03 PM

You’re ridiculous r158

by Anonymousreply 160January 23, 2022 7:31 PM

Disney.

Having a thing for the Disney theme parks is like having a thing for fascism.

by Anonymousreply 161January 23, 2022 8:18 PM

Gay Episcopalians, like Pete and Chasten. They're snooty. If you want to be a gay Christian get down with the working class in MCC or continue with your guilt in the Catholic Church.

You know Chasten despite having some sort of Southern Baptist background was never going to end up MCC.

by Anonymousreply 162January 23, 2022 8:29 PM

[...]

by Anonymousreply 163January 23, 2022 8:32 PM

R162 they don’t have to please you with their faith. Grow up dude

by Anonymousreply 164January 23, 2022 8:36 PM

[...]

by Anonymousreply 165January 23, 2022 8:48 PM

R165, I am tolerant and believe in robust religious liberties

by Anonymousreply 166January 23, 2022 9:44 PM

R155 Can't see nuance

by Anonymousreply 167January 23, 2022 9:47 PM

If your SO cheats on you, they’ll also steal from you. They’ll lie to you. They’ll hoodwink you. Expect it.

by Anonymousreply 168January 23, 2022 10:27 PM

People are more different l, but I have no respect for people who are in open relationships. Even less for people who cheat behind their partners’ back. Likewise, I have no respect for people who willingly get involved with married or partnered people.

by Anonymousreply 169January 24, 2022 12:14 AM

[quote] Open relationships are mostly a straight thing.

Mostly for the guys; the women typically don't know for a while.

by Anonymousreply 170January 24, 2022 12:30 AM

Women cheat too but are generally more selective with who they choose.

by Anonymousreply 171January 24, 2022 12:43 AM

Body fascism.

by Anonymousreply 172January 24, 2022 1:02 AM

What is body fascism? To me, it’s telling others they should or must have a certain physique. It is not having a dating preference for or attraction only to men with a certain physique.

by Anonymousreply 173January 24, 2022 2:04 AM

Brunch.

by Anonymousreply 174January 24, 2022 2:40 AM

I don’t like trash gays. Gays who are not educated or have no manners. I have never associated with them.

by Anonymousreply 175January 24, 2022 3:24 AM

Bourbon. Neat. De nada.

by Anonymousreply 176January 24, 2022 2:49 PM

Posting from heaven, Mr. Talley/R175?

by Anonymousreply 177January 24, 2022 2:54 PM

R173 it’s the mean girls culture in the gay male community that shames and bullies overweight people. You don’t have to date them. Just stop thinking that everyone should have a six pack set of abs.

by Anonymousreply 178January 24, 2022 3:29 PM

Rather stop thinking you're worthless if you don't. You'll never change mean girls. Whenever someone is mean or angry or some form of unkindness, I always remind myself it's a sign of how sad they are inside.

by Anonymousreply 179January 24, 2022 4:13 PM

The misogyny, racism and antisemitism really needs to go.

by Anonymousreply 180January 24, 2022 4:43 PM

Total bottoms who hate women, yet act like bitchy cunts themselves.

by Anonymousreply 181January 24, 2022 5:13 PM

This may surprise you, R181, but the vast majority of women are not bitchy cunts. The funny thing is, the things men accuse women of doing they do just as much if not more so based on my experience of having worked in male dominated environments.

by Anonymousreply 182January 24, 2022 6:06 PM

Most women are cool and many like no drama. The ones who aggressively seek out gay friends do tend to be the narcissistic annoying ones who think gay men are cute and sassy pets. And of course the narcissistic vapid gays gravitate to them. Perfect pairing. Annoying people stand out more and hang out with other annoying people.

by Anonymousreply 183January 24, 2022 6:30 PM

Sorry, but....when one's mind is on one's OWN business......

by Anonymousreply 184January 24, 2022 6:32 PM

Most of these responses are not irrational at all.

by Anonymousreply 185January 24, 2022 6:58 PM

Dating apps.

by Anonymousreply 186January 24, 2022 7:00 PM

R19 yep, agree with you on the political-correctness of lesbians rn, especially the babies😔

Like I’m not that old or really very experienced on the scene tbh, but I’m not that young either, and I have managed to offend so many college-aged dykes (or self-proclaimed ones anyway..) for what I consider mild takes. The third-wavers, neolibs, and the ones obsessed with gender stereotypes are the fuckin worst.

Still nowhere near as bad as the T/Enby crowd for touchiness tho. I avoid engagement with these types wherever possible bc I don’t want to get into it over a joke or throwaway comment🚪

by Anonymousreply 187January 24, 2022 7:08 PM

Maybe irrationally dislike is meant to be reflexively dislike.

by Anonymousreply 188January 24, 2022 7:56 PM

The perpetual adolescence.

by Anonymousreply 189January 25, 2022 2:23 PM

The alcoholism and drug use

by Anonymousreply 190January 25, 2022 3:01 PM

Vouch r190. Thirteen years sober. I cringe at the memories of my behavior while being constantly soused.

by Anonymousreply 191January 25, 2022 3:15 PM

Many cuts from A Perfect Circle but especially ‘Pet’, written from a gaslighting abusive and too-possessive Dominant POV.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 192January 25, 2022 4:01 PM

^^wrong thread soz :/

by Anonymousreply 193January 25, 2022 4:02 PM

Yes, the alcoholism and drug abuse is really pretty sad. Everything, everything, everything revolves around drinking. It is certainly not something that only applies to the gay community, but it is unfortunate that almost all communal activities involve liquor in some form.

by Anonymousreply 194January 25, 2022 4:11 PM

Many gay men commit to monogamy out of insecurity and jealousy over the idea of their partner bring with someone else, but their hearts desire is to have sex with other men themselves.

by Anonymousreply 195January 25, 2022 4:16 PM

Gay straight or bi, there are men and women who enjoy multiple partners, open relationships, whatever - and those who don't, who prefer monogamy. I'm in the latter group but I don't have a problem with anything other adults want to do. These threads are always about one faction arguing with the other, what's the point? Do your thing and leave others alone.

by Anonymousreply 196January 25, 2022 4:32 PM

The interminable and sad internecine war between lesbians & gays is a terrible facet of gay culture.

by Anonymousreply 197January 25, 2022 4:33 PM

Drag queens. I'm not sure, though, that I would describe this dislike as irrational.

by Anonymousreply 198January 25, 2022 4:38 PM

[quote] The perpetual adolescence.

Like, that is sooooooo not true. I’m going to hold my breath until you take that back! Like, gurl, please.

by Anonymousreply 199January 25, 2022 4:42 PM

I hate when a guy who's in a couple talks like: "we went here" "we saw that show" "we ate there" "we didn't like that movie" when you're only talking to one of them. It makes more sense if you're actually talking to the couple, but when it's just one person and they seem to define themselves by being part of a couple at ALL times...it's annoying (at least to me).

by Anonymousreply 200January 25, 2022 4:45 PM

Drag queens are so played out now. When they were underground and meant to mock homophobia and gender roles, they were great. Now today it's just more of a minstrelsy than anything else. It lost its edge when it started marketing to teenage girls with reading hours at libraries. The examples of drag from Paris is Burning and Pink Flamingos seem long gone now.

by Anonymousreply 201January 25, 2022 5:45 PM

R196, I 100% agree. I think that non-monogamy obviously holds appeal for enough people that you have to admit that it's what's right for some, so others shouldn't "slut-shame" it. If it's what makes you happy and it's all out in the open, you're playing safe, etc. - where's the problem?

On the other hand, some non-monogamous people can be very condescending about monogamy and sometimes like to explain to monogamous guys why they're wrong and how they're actually just repressing their true instincts and are lying to themselves. That's not acceptable either.

by Anonymousreply 202January 25, 2022 5:50 PM

R196 the problem is that there is only one dating market that we all have to share, and it’s annoying that the non-monogamous people are taking up space in it and those of us looking for monogamy have to compete with them and filter them out in our search.

by Anonymousreply 203January 25, 2022 5:54 PM

Too many, actually. Everything revolves around sex Total superficiality The whole "top/bottom" syndrome A strange dislike of masculine gay men An inherent meanness Campiness Drag ...the list goes on

by Anonymousreply 204January 25, 2022 6:04 PM

R84, I like feminine men but Jonathan Van Ness comes off as incredibly fake. I find his behaviour repulsive and immature. He wasn't like this at the beginning of his tv fame. He took all the degrading stereotypes of being a feminine gay man and amplified it for his heterosexual audience.

by Anonymousreply 205January 25, 2022 6:14 PM

Doesn't Jonathan Van Ness run around calling himself 'non-binary' these days?

Non-Binary ≠ Gay - so if JVN wants to opt out of our 'club', that's fine with me!

by Anonymousreply 206January 25, 2022 6:20 PM

[quote] The whole "top/bottom" syndrome

And I dislike when people question the immutability of this distinction.

by Anonymousreply 207January 25, 2022 6:21 PM

Hate ‘Queer Eye’. My hipster closet-bi Male cousins gush over it, it’s absolutely cringe.

by Anonymousreply 208January 25, 2022 6:47 PM

Guys being gross cumsluts then screaming PrEP!!! at you, if you are less than thrilled by their behavior... PrEP isn't magic!

by Anonymousreply 209January 25, 2022 7:49 PM

Immutability, R207? So you believe it's impossible for two dudes to have a "non top/bottom" relationship? i.e. mutual oral, frottage, etc.? Because it's more common than you think.

by Anonymousreply 210January 25, 2022 8:10 PM

R210 yes, if they have that kind of relationship, then they are both bottoms in denial. A bottom can only truly be satiated sexually by a total top.

by Anonymousreply 211January 25, 2022 8:22 PM

The only thing I truly hate is the embrace of the Trans Agenda, especially the canceling of white gays and all lesbians from the history of Stonewall in order to replace them all with "The Myth of Marsha" and the whole "Trans Women of Color" bullshit fantasy.

by Anonymousreply 212January 25, 2022 8:32 PM

R211 De facto, but there are verse guys too, who like it both ways.

by Anonymousreply 213January 25, 2022 8:37 PM

I have to admit I've never understood the desperate need some gays have to have children or get married like straights do. I understand the legal aspects of gay marriage, but we could have had that with legalized domestic partnerships. To be honest, I don't want to be like straight people. I think I would go crazy if I had to come home every day and see the same face there ostensibly for the rest of my life (or as long as the relationship lasted). I guess I just love my freedom too much. I've always loved having people come stay with me, but I've also loved seeing them go home eventually.

by Anonymousreply 214January 25, 2022 8:40 PM

Oh, yeah!

Marry me, r214.

Oh, wait. That might not work for either of us now that I think about it.

Well, you get the idea.

by Anonymousreply 215January 25, 2022 8:53 PM

Emphasis on looks and fear of aging.

The two go together.

I know so many unhappy older men who made looks the sole arbiter of whether they would commit or not.

Please learn to see the beauty of life and commit to something bigger than yourself. Life cannot continue to be about sex, and other adolescent preoccupations, after your 20s.

by Anonymousreply 216January 25, 2022 8:56 PM

R214 I respect your opinion entirely. My only question is about your freedom. Could some part of that be about the conditioning that straight world has imposed on us? I mean when you are told that relationships just can’t be gay or last long because they are gay- isn’t it odd that your love of freedom coincides with a society that has been until recently telling you that gay relationships don’t count? I mean I love my freedom too but I found more freedom in a lasting relationship. With the safety, comfort and security of a loving relationship I accomplished things that on my own I found hard to do. But my man, my fan club, my agent with one client has pushed me to expand myself. My freedom was never like that before. I believe most people would rather have adolescent freedom than adult. Well that’s rock n’roll for you.

by Anonymousreply 217January 25, 2022 9:19 PM

I get you R217. We all have our own ways of being happy. What works for me obviously won't work for others, and vice versa. The only thing that matters is that people are happy in whatever way they want to live.

by Anonymousreply 218January 25, 2022 9:50 PM

R214 Just because it's "like straights do" doesn't mean it's done to copy straights. Many gay people have the exact same feeling of need, to have a children, and a family, as straights do. If you don't understand it, they probably don't understand you, either. But I don't get why it bothers you. However that's what this thread is about - things you dislike irrationally - so it's all good.

by Anonymousreply 219January 26, 2022 9:57 AM

All the sluts and druggies getting the aids really annoyed me.

by Anonymousreply 220January 26, 2022 10:34 AM

Believe it or not, many straight couples have open relationships, they just don't talk about it the same way gay couples do. Straights only have to maintain the façade of being monogamous as society demands from them. Just browse reddit and other sites. Even with kids. They just have to hide it from them.

by Anonymousreply 221January 26, 2022 10:46 AM

[quote] But I don't get why it bothers you.

I said I don't understand it, I never said it bothered me. I'm more than happy for anyone to do whatever makes their lives happy. It would only bother me if others were trying to force me to adopt the same attitude.

by Anonymousreply 222January 26, 2022 12:24 PM

It wasn't just sluts and druggies who got AIDS. Read some of the memoirs of the times, such as Paul Monette.

It was in the eco-sphere for years. Many people who were in committed relationships got it, because they had had a few years of being young before getting married.

My hairdresser got it, and died. He was in no way a slut. It was a tragic age.

by Anonymousreply 223January 26, 2022 1:00 PM

Yeah, it's a fair point, that it's not one or the other in most relationships between people, gay or straight, open or monogamous. I would say - qualifier: to the best of my knowledge - most of my straight friends are not open and have not cheated, either, though I can point to a small number known to have cheated, which is somewhere on the scale between open and monogamous. But since most straight marriages involve a more complicated investment including kids, property, time and emotion, I'd bet straights who aren't monogamous find it easier to cheat than to reconcile the image - image - of happy family with an acknowledged open relationship. Gay men, at least, have the capacity to keep things simpler if they're not keeping up with the Buttegiegs.

Maybe it's just DL because it's a message board so we're freer, but it does seem more of a gay thing to have to attack and undermine the opposite viewpoint, whether monogamous or open. I've never heard the models discussed as practises in real life.

by Anonymousreply 224January 26, 2022 1:13 PM

Aspects of gay culture that you dislike irrationally:

Rainbow flag merchandise.

by Anonymousreply 225January 26, 2022 1:23 PM

Grindr

by Anonymousreply 226January 26, 2022 1:26 PM

R223 Chances are if you weren't taking a thousand bare loads into your drug addled holes, you probably survived the aids.

by Anonymousreply 227January 26, 2022 1:30 PM

Other gay men... seriously.

by Anonymousreply 228January 26, 2022 7:06 PM

The chronic sexualization of every aspect of one's life gets on my nerves.

You're forty-six Mary, give it a rest with the endless shirtless photos on Instagram.

by Anonymousreply 229January 26, 2022 7:31 PM

R228 nah I get it actually. tbh sometimes I feel so guilty and like the world’s worst feminist lesbian bc I tend to hang out and like/befriend/want the straight women (well the non-frauen) more than the gay sistren :/ though I’m trying my best address this and change my ways to better support the community and reflect my values

this may be a spicy take and come across offensive (and it’s not meant that way) but ime lesbians have been so long societally gaslit and deprived and objectified that over half of us have been reconditioned in a really sick and antisocial way. for every sane cool lesbian you meet there’s at least three she knows or you know who are in some way unhinged or traumatised (often through little fault of her own).

it’s already a tiny dating pool—iirc 1-2% of the global population last estimate—and now the water is contaminated too :( this I think explains a lot of the stereotypes and cliches around lesbianism i.e the nesting/clinging/drama/insular behaviours

by Anonymousreply 230January 26, 2022 10:08 PM

I’m sure not all older gays (50+) are like this, but I’ve had the misfortune of dealing with several that think being snarky, sassy, and quick with quips every other sentence is cute/funny (even if you’re being completely nice to them). It’s exhausting and I don’t like that energy. It’s like I’m trying to have a conversation with them, but they have to throw in a smart ass remark every other sentence. That is an aspect of gay culture I don’t like.

by Anonymousreply 231January 26, 2022 10:19 PM

Dirty looks.

You’re such a dirty little liar.

by Anonymousreply 232January 26, 2022 11:11 PM

The new generation of gay people does not know anything about our history, about Harvey Milk and Marsha P. Johnson and Arthur Ash. About the brave men and women who made Stonewall happen. About having to go into theatre bathrooms in the 20s and 30s in order to meet people just like them. About how San Francisco was devastated after AIDS broke out.

The ignorance is shocking to me. Will gay history matter in 50 years?

by Anonymousreply 233January 27, 2022 1:10 AM

R231 that's not an irrational dislike. That's a completely understandable dislike. Anyone with any maturity would dislike people like that.

by Anonymousreply 234January 27, 2022 1:10 AM

[quote] I hate when a guy who's in a couple talks like: "we went here" "we saw that show" "we ate there" "we didn't like that movie" when you're only talking to one of them. It makes more sense if you're actually talking to the couple, but when it's just one person and they seem to define themselves by being part of a couple at ALL times...it's annoying (at least to me).

Say in response, " 'We'? Have you become like Queen Victoria?"

That shuts them up.

by Anonymousreply 235January 27, 2022 1:15 AM

It's irrational to me, as a 70-year-old man, because I take it so personally. It's like my story has been wiped away.

by Anonymousreply 236January 27, 2022 1:15 AM

Do as I do R236, when I'm presented with some mook like that and he's rattling off smart mouth comments one after another I just turn and walk off. it always throws 'em for a loop.

by Anonymousreply 237January 27, 2022 1:28 AM

r237, when that happens to me, I'll first be upfront with the person and say directly, "Please, I'm sorry but you don't have to make little quips with me. I would much rather talk in a straightforward fashion with you." Only if they keep it up after that will I walk away.

by Anonymousreply 238January 27, 2022 1:38 AM

It should be called open-ended relationship because if it is an open relationship it will be an ended one, sooner than later. Just the way it is.

by Anonymousreply 239January 27, 2022 1:55 AM

[quote]The new generation of gay people does not know anything about our history, about Harvey Milk and Marsha P. Johnson and Arthur Ash. About the brave men and women who made Stonewall happen. About having to go into theatre bathrooms in the 20s and 30s in order to meet people just like them. About how San Francisco was devastated after AIDS broke out. The ignorance is shocking to me. Will gay history matter in 50 years?

To be fair, schools have been trying in recent years to teach both gay and straight kids about gay history. But you can blame the Republican fuckers who are trying to have it removed from schools.

by Anonymousreply 240January 27, 2022 3:25 AM

Open relationship

Dating apps

Wear women clothes

Trashy gays

by Anonymousreply 241January 27, 2022 3:45 AM

Those queens who dance with fans at the clubs. I swear, whenever I see one of those bitches waving those fans around on the dance floor like some goddamn gay geisha, I want to grab one of those fucking fans and beat him over the head with it.

Is that irrational enough for you?

by Anonymousreply 242January 27, 2022 3:47 AM

R242 That sounds absolutely rational to me!

by Anonymousreply 243January 27, 2022 8:01 AM

OP, do what feels right for you- no one is imposing open relationships on you. I’m 68 and I’ve had 2 long lasting relationships that ended for good reasons, not because they were open. You sound like you’re whining about something that is really pretty easy to be worked out by a couple. No one imposed this on a couple and if your partner wants an “ open” relationship and you don’t- time to move on, like any major stumbling block. Not the right guy. Life goes on.

by Anonymousreply 244January 27, 2022 12:26 PM

I like you, r244.

I really do.

by Anonymousreply 245January 27, 2022 1:21 PM

R245 Well, if an open relationship is an option for you, maybe you and R244 could get together.

by Anonymousreply 246January 27, 2022 1:25 PM

My policy is, and always has been, that if I'm not enough for you, I'm not the right guy for you.

by Anonymousreply 247January 27, 2022 1:33 PM

Open relationships seem fine to me as long as both partners can separate recreational sex from their relationship. I’ve been #3 before and know couples who have threesomes on occasion and it always seemed like either one partner was just going along with it, or one or both were equally jealous if the other is a little to into the third. Plus a lot have all these “rules” between them about what is OK and it’s tiresome. I think it can cause complicated situations, but we are all complicated, so figure out if it works for your relationship.

by Anonymousreply 248January 27, 2022 2:04 PM

Gay culture is unlikable in general.

by Anonymousreply 249January 27, 2022 2:07 PM

I like the idea of Non-consensual Tea-bagging in theory.

But in practice, I find it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

by Anonymousreply 250January 27, 2022 2:20 PM

[quote] Open relationships seem fine to me as long as both partners can separate recreational sex from their relationship.

The solution is quite simple. If you're the type who has no intention of being faithful to one person at a time THEN DON'T GET MARRIED OR TAKE ON A FULL TIME PARTNER.

by Anonymousreply 251January 27, 2022 3:59 PM

R231, as a fifty something eldergay, I cannot disagree with you. It’s exhausting to me. And feeling like you have to keep up with that all the time. Every now and then, it’s fine. But after a couple of hours, it’s fucking tiresome. That’s why on the rare occasions that I do socialize with my peers, I arrive late and leave early.

by Anonymousreply 252January 27, 2022 4:05 PM

Fashionably late, I assume.

But of course.

by Anonymousreply 253January 27, 2022 5:08 PM

Drag has evolved into clownery for heteros. RuPaul commodified the fuck out of it. Now it’s just 90s club kid-esque performance art.

by Anonymousreply 254January 27, 2022 5:32 PM

The overly forced, unnatural smiles you see on most faces whenever there’s a gaggle of gays. This existed as long as I can remember and well before social media existed. It sort of goes with the need to always be witty like life is perpetually a version of a some kind of performance at a political or royal court. Exhausting. Give me an honest scowler.

by Anonymousreply 255January 27, 2022 5:32 PM

Group gay IG photos of homoclones where they look like a male sorority of Mean Girls.

by Anonymousreply 256January 27, 2022 6:09 PM

R255 you would love the fuck out of me then😠

by Anonymousreply 257January 27, 2022 7:15 PM

Why does every gay with a beard only have gay friends with beards?

That's so odd.

by Anonymousreply 258January 27, 2022 7:24 PM

Do you mean facial hair or a “beard” beard? Because if it’s the latter, it’s obvious why.

by Anonymousreply 259January 27, 2022 7:57 PM

R258 It's because they're clique bear bitches that will only hang out with a fuck their clones.

by Anonymousreply 260January 27, 2022 8:56 PM

[quote] some non-monogamous people can be very condescending about monogamy and sometimes like to explain to monogamous guys why they're wrong and how they're actually just repressing their true instincts and are lying to themselves. That's not acceptable either.

Some people are simply incapable of understanding/accepting that other people are internally different from them, either from their emotional wiring or differing experiences: ‘you MUST be like me! You’re just denying it!’ Ignore them; they won’t change.

[quote] if they have that kind of relationship, then they are both bottoms in denial. A bottom can only truly be satiated sexually by a total top.

Here’s a prime example.

[quote] I understand the legal aspects of gay marriage, but we could have had that with legalized domestic partnerships

No, we COULDN’T have had those things; not ever. It’s a long read, but I recommend ‘ The Engagement: The Battle over Same-Sex Marriage’ by Sasha Issenberg.

It was NEVER a question of what the gay community would settle for, but what evangelical Christians would allow us to have, which was NOTHING! No ‘civil unions,’ no ‘partner registrations,’ NOTHING!!!

It became an article of faith that they would allow us NOTHING!!! Anything we gained, they worked tirelessly to undo. We needed full, legal marriage rights. You completely underestimate just how obsessively they hate us, and will fight ANYTHING that benefits us.

[quote] I love my freedom too but I found more freedom in a lasting relationship. With the safety, comfort and security of a loving relationship I accomplished things that on my own I found hard to do. But my man, my fan club, my agent with one client has pushed me to expand myself. My freedom was never like that before

What you have sounds like a dream, but surely you realize how life didn’t go that way for many. Once or twice burned, and many close their hearts for fear of being hurt again.

[quote] Emphasis on looks and fear of aging

This isn't a ‘gay’ thing, its a ‘human’ thing. Gilgamesh feared aging and dying several thousand years ago. Reality television is filled with men and women who’ve filed, filled, and sliced their way to the illusion of perpetual youth (in truth, it just makes you look like you’ve had plastic surgery!)

[quote] Chances are if you weren't taking a thousand bare loads into your drug addled holes, you probably survived the aids

This is both astonishingly cruel, and totally inaccurate. I knew several guys who got ‘it’ while in ‘monogamous’ relationships. Sadly, the ‘monogamy’ was one-way. They were lied to, betrayed, suffered, and died.

They could still be here, as i am, but they chose to trust, poorly, as it turned out. You’re a real asshole, and i hope you experience a fraction of the unearned suffering they got. Fuck you!

by Anonymousreply 261January 28, 2022 12:14 AM

The unrealistic expectations when searching for a partner (wanting a man that’s a “10”, is a millionaire, has a 9 inch dick, etc). That’s why so many gay men end up alone. By the time they realize it, their prime years have already passed them.

by Anonymousreply 262January 28, 2022 5:10 AM

[quote] That’s why so many gay men end up alone. By the time they realize it, their prime years have already passed them.

🙁

by Anonymousreply 263January 28, 2022 5:22 AM

The people. I mean...not everyone but LOTSA of people.

by Anonymousreply 264January 28, 2022 9:30 AM

R261 wins for cheesiest post of the thread. She sounds like a delusional cunt.

by Anonymousreply 265January 28, 2022 10:35 AM

R265 Hey, you disappeared for awhile, I thought something happened to you.

by Anonymousreply 266January 28, 2022 10:42 AM

[quote] bathhouses and saunas and gym shower blowjobs

Whiskerless bears and queens who don’t give gobs....

These are a few of...

by Anonymousreply 267January 28, 2022 10:47 AM

[quote] Believe it or not, many straight couples have open relationships,

A straight friend tells me that I would NOT believe the number of straight couples in their 30s with kids that are not having sex. She says it’s more than half of the couples she knows, and she has big friendship circle. She says most are just existing together for the kids but not happy.

by Anonymousreply 268January 28, 2022 10:57 AM

A lifelong lady friend of mine told me many years ago that many straight females either never enjoyed sex, never had an orgasm, or got to a point in life when they started to not enjoy sex. Some will still allow their husbands to have sex with them, but they basically just lie there and tolerate it until it's over, while others just tell their husbands the sex is over, they've had all the kids they're going to have and there's no use to do it anymore.

And I know in my own circle of straight men from my job before retirement and friends that many married men get to the point they prefer to masturbate than have sex with their wives. I know one straight married man who told me once that he continued to masturbate his entire married life. He said "I never stopped jacking off after I got married, I love it". I can only imagine that pumping away on top of some woman who is half asleep is about as exciting as taking out the trash. Sex without passion on both sides has to be terrible. That's one area where gay men are far superior to straight men. If we're still physically capable of having an orgasm we rarely lose the capacity for lust and passion.

by Anonymousreply 269January 28, 2022 11:52 AM

Jacking off is Daddy’s Little Helper, just like putting Valium in Kool Aid is Mommy’s.

by Anonymousreply 270January 28, 2022 11:57 AM

Yeah, I'm more inclined to believe straight couples have no sex v. open marriages. When there's kids, there's often no energy. Most of the straight marriages I know involved cheating, where one or both were stepping out on the other. Where for gay men - and admittedly a broad brush - the driver was often an inability to break away from the insecurities soothed by a constant need for affirmation by sex - for the straight men it was just loneliness in a relationship where the couple was way down the on the to do list. It was complicated and shitty to abandon the family just to get laid so the solution was to cheat.

by Anonymousreply 271January 28, 2022 12:55 PM

Why didn’t ALW write a show called Aspects of Gay Love?

by Anonymousreply 272January 28, 2022 1:04 PM

R271- I agree 100%. I would only add that straight men have many of the same insecurities that men have: they want to be pleased out of fear of age, imagined looks, and illusionary attractions, they need to need to be heard to promote dominance, and they want someone to praise them so they don’t feel like an outsider. The women I have known are often nonplussed that men are so sexual when the children are babies and little -when they need almost continuous care. They are also concerned that men are so eager to be paid attention to become they bring home money. It’s as if their dick is the middle man for all their desire. Sex is a reward. Nothing gets you wet like being a prize! It’s the male culture that often lack self awareness. And so gay and straight men share the flaws.

by Anonymousreply 273January 28, 2022 7:43 PM

I hate gay fashion sense. I mean come on, we are supposed to be upholding something fabulous, aren't we?

by Anonymousreply 274January 28, 2022 7:52 PM

I sorta hate 20-something twinks with YouTube channels.

Nothing they say has any substance or is grounded in reality.

by Anonymousreply 275January 28, 2022 8:45 PM

I think most gay men worship masculinity and ascribe to be masculine. The gay men who are naturally feminine aligned and were thus bullied and alienated by their male peers end up becoming over-the-top and aggressive in their demeanor. It's insecurity that's born out of American society's contempt for femininity.

Feminine straight men deal with bullying too but they at least straight and thus still have privilege and acceptance. Feminine gay men can be disliked by both straight men and gay men. Since the media loves stereotypes, feminine gays get the most spotlight and it helps that straight teen girls and women love them. That's why flaming queens, drag and pop stans have become so overrepresented in the media and social media.

It's annoying explaining to straight women that a lot of gays are not giggly airheads who love makeup and Britney-like pop stars. Many of us like rock music, sports, programming and are educated in law and politics.

by Anonymousreply 276January 28, 2022 8:53 PM

R273 can you rewrite this? I think I know what you're trying to say but it doesn't make sense.

"Women are nonplussed that men are so sexual when the kids are little-when they need almost continuous care"--wouldnt women be more concerned?

"They are also concerned that men are so eager to be paid attention to become they bring home money"--again I don't know what you're trying to say

by Anonymousreply 277January 31, 2022 5:42 AM

The downward mobility and aggressive unattractiveness of lesbian culture.

by Anonymousreply 278January 31, 2022 8:48 AM

R278 That sounds like someone’s Sociology Thesis.

by Anonymousreply 279January 31, 2022 8:59 AM

My thesis was Thickets of Pride and Resentment: The Lesbian Relationship with Body Hair

by Anonymousreply 280January 31, 2022 11:59 AM

R277 it has cuntbrain and covidbrain. Watch the interview of Meat Loaf before she died and that's what you're dealing with here. Brain dead fucktards.

by Anonymousreply 281January 31, 2022 12:09 PM

R281 Hello, sweet little bunny.

by Anonymousreply 282January 31, 2022 12:17 PM

Gays that address each other as “she” and “her”. Drives me insane.

by Anonymousreply 283January 31, 2022 12:22 PM

^I do that here, but as an insult to jerks.

by Anonymousreply 284January 31, 2022 12:34 PM

3's being fully comfortable commenting on others' looks. Blows my mind every time. I work with a guy in his 50s with dentures and he has the gall to talk about another co-worker's teeth. I fucking blew up. "How the fuck are you talking about someone's teeth and YOU don't have any?"

He ended the conversation.

by Anonymousreply 285January 31, 2022 5:23 PM

The obsession with certain celebrities can get on my nerves. If I'm not really a fan of someone, I'll just ask "Who?" and usually the conversation will change. This is more in general, but at a club when someone will just approach you and start to read you for no reason and you barely know that person or they just want to comment on something you're wearing in a negative way. Excuse me, did I ask your opinion? If I wanted your opinion, I'd beat it out of you. I have no qualms about dumping an acquaintance who goes off for no reason, and I don't have to make a scene about it. I just won't even acknowledge their presence.

Certain aspects of the gay community can be like a clique or a cult, and people who have gotten some attention for a performance style or DJ'ing or working in porn get a narcissistic attitude and that becomes a major turn off. I had an acquaintance who referred to the people who came to support him as fans, and I had no qualms about ending that relationship.

by Anonymousreply 286January 31, 2022 6:29 PM

[quote]That’s why so many gay men end up alone. By the time they realize it, their prime years have already passed them.

I'm so tired of " pickiness and unrealistic expectations" being blamed for why gay men possibly end up alone. I would guess one of the main reasons is that there aren't a large percentage of gay men to choose from, vs the choices straight people have. Within the group of gay men a gay man may meet, not everyone he likes or wants to settle down with will feel the same way. Maybe in another scenario, he tries to meet someone to share his life with, and doesn't meet anyone who reciprocates. Maybe he was in a relationship that didn't work out and is too wary or tired to invest in another one. Maybe the only people he ever felt serious about were already taken. Maybe he was in an abusive relationship or more than one, and wants no more relationships. On and on.

by Anonymousreply 287January 31, 2022 6:45 PM

Gross sluts, but that goes for all genders and sexual orientations.

by Anonymousreply 288January 31, 2022 7:27 PM

Looking back I think it was a combination of factors, but homophobia really did a number on most of us mentally and emotionally. A vast array of people like that, coupled with many unhealthy and unrealistic factors in gay culture, doesn’t create incredibly fertile ground for relationships to bloom.

by Anonymousreply 289January 31, 2022 7:43 PM

R285 Yeah, right. Girl, you are tough online but dats about it.

by Anonymousreply 290January 31, 2022 7:50 PM

Open relationships aren't true relationships, they are just screens. Monogamy is real love and commitment. Don't let any slut tell you differently. And of course, they will.

by Anonymousreply 291January 31, 2022 8:18 PM

Facts

by Anonymousreply 292January 31, 2022 8:19 PM

R287 but "not everyone he likes or wants to settle down with reciprocates" falls under the category of pickiness. Because the truth is that a good number of men, not just gay but straight men as well, refuse to settle for an equal. For many, the one they "like" is several years younger or better looking. So they hold out for that young hottie who wants an ugly older man but that hottie doesn't exist because he's either banging an equally hot guy or a different older man. There are only so many young hotties to go around, eventually there aren't enough for everyone who wants one. Same with straight guys, though their odds of bagging a hot young woman are greater due to an over abundance of freaky, lying, or violent men (compared to women)

by Anonymousreply 293January 31, 2022 9:36 PM

Bitchiness and affectation as a defining characteristic in lieu of any substance and self-possession.

It's an "ignorant and proud of it" armor to draw attention away from having no positive qualities or ease with oneself.

by Anonymousreply 294February 1, 2022 12:53 AM

The profoundly damaged who aspire to become community leaders, or write opinion pieces on what to think for the shithouse quarters of the woke gay press: Them, Pink News, etc. etc.

by Anonymousreply 295February 1, 2022 6:50 AM

I'm sure open relationships can work for some, but my friends are getting divorced because one partner fell in love with one of his regular hookups. They've been married 12 years - it's all over.

by Anonymousreply 296February 1, 2022 11:03 AM

I think open relationships are terrifying because they're a reminder of our mortality and primal nature. Monogamy sorta shows discipline over our animal instincts to mate and reproduce as much as possible. Like how dogs and cats mate with many others and have multiple litters in their lifetime. Humans have those same urges but we evolved to have a strong concept of consciousness and long-term goals which can rear in our urges.

by Anonymousreply 297February 1, 2022 11:07 AM

R290 Bwuh? What an odd reply. Not sure why that's so hard to believe but...okay.

by Anonymousreply 298February 1, 2022 11:23 AM

R287 Yeah, that's a pretty typical--and kinda dumb--way of rationalizing shit. Especially, when people assume and don't ask.

by Anonymousreply 299February 1, 2022 11:29 AM

I dislike many of the self-appointed leaders of the gay community. Many of them don't speak for me.

(Have you ever been to an HRC function? Goodness gracious.)

by Anonymousreply 300February 1, 2022 11:46 AM

[quote]Humans have those same urges but we evolved to have a strong concept of consciousness and long-term goals which can rear in our urges.

Not enough humans have evolved to that point, unfortunately.

by Anonymousreply 301February 1, 2022 12:07 PM

[quote] I would guess one of the main reasons is that there aren't a large percentage of gay men to choose from, vs the choices straight people have.

That doesn't make a lot of sense to me. There are as many gay men to choose from as there are gay men. It's what those men, as individuals, want. There isn't some national strategic reserve of straight people to give them more from which to choose, is there? Because if there is we definitely need one too.

by Anonymousreply 302February 1, 2022 1:21 PM

R293.... some call it settling, some call it maturing to the point of reconciling expectation with reality. I don't like to say we're damaged, but gay people still grow up with so much negativity around the nature of our selves that it's no surprise we have a hard time sorting ourselves out. Instability is never helpful.

by Anonymousreply 303February 1, 2022 1:25 PM

the love for Hillary Clinton. Blegh.

by Anonymousreply 304February 1, 2022 1:34 PM

Monogamy is probably the only thing that is inherently heterosexual and heteronormative. It's also less than 200 years old.

by Anonymousreply 305February 1, 2022 1:36 PM

Monogamy is thousands of years old. Moreover, some animals are also monogamous

by Anonymousreply 306February 1, 2022 1:57 PM

Flamers

by Anonymousreply 307February 1, 2022 2:28 PM

Building on R304, the dame/diva fetish, esp. Miss Crawford. Give me a fucking break.

by Anonymousreply 308February 1, 2022 2:54 PM

R305 R301

I agree. It's definitely socially imposed and taught from a young age as the "right way." People choose sexual monogamy despite being attracted to others. But it's not innate to us.

I think what scientists have found is humans are serial monogamist. We form pairs and we fall deeply in love with one person at a time and are devoted but those relationships aren't lifelong. People fall out of love a lot too Since early humans died young from disease, war, famines, injuries or childbirth. People had to move on quickly and pair off with someone else to ensure survival.

Both monogamy and patriarchy arose when humans became agricultural and private ownership became important. Men became reduced to value for labor and strength and women reduced for their production of heirs. Marriage was created to ensure the legitimacy of children, so that they could inherit the property under their father. Women's virginity and sexual fidelity to her male spouse was a product of this. Religion was just used to reinforce the established system. Now people are waking up.

A lot of gay men are serial monogamists and deeply love their partners but aren't caught up with sexual fidelity.

by Anonymousreply 309February 1, 2022 3:08 PM

[quote]We form pairs and we fall deeply in love with one person at a time and are devoted but those relationships aren't lifelong.

You say that like it is an absolute. It simply isn't. Any number of people remain successfully with their partner on a lifelong basis.

I'm not arguing with you, unless you're trying to backdoor the argument monogamy cannot work, because the evidence says otherwise.

by Anonymousreply 310February 1, 2022 3:31 PM

All of it

by Anonymousreply 311February 1, 2022 5:18 PM

Bathhouses, sex clubs, and party cruises.

by Anonymousreply 312February 1, 2022 5:20 PM

Snark at the expense of genuineness.

by Anonymousreply 313February 1, 2022 6:35 PM

I remember one Xmas in the 90s, I was on a public transit bus in the gay district and the Chinese bus driver was singing Xmas carols! Horrible. She sounded terrible. A gay white guy sitting beside me was screaming at her to shut the fuck up and she did. I like that aspect of gays. They will tell people to shut the fuck up.

by Anonymousreply 314February 1, 2022 7:32 PM

I also hate that gay "I'm a truly enlightened gay" that supersedes any sort of humility.

Yes, we get it, you've discovered what we've ALL been doing wrong all these years!

by Anonymousreply 315February 1, 2022 10:41 PM

[quote]That doesn't make a lot of sense to me. There are as many gay men to choose from as there are gay men. It's what those men, as individuals, want. There isn't some national strategic reserve of straight people to give them more from which to choose, is there? Because if there is we definitely need one too.

R302 I'm not sure what you're saying. There as many reasons for people to end up alone as there are people. I just gave some other reasons because I hate sweeping generalizations, but I may have made a few, myself. It just seems obvious that there are fewer gay people around than there are straight people, and that gay people have a smaller dating pool to choose from than straight people.

I know straight people who are married today who were high school sweethearts. Or college sweethearts. How many gay men end up in old age with their high school or college sweetheart? Chances are they never even had one. These now-older men, who grew up in a very different time, were probably not even out until they were older (in some cases, much older). Some are still not out. What about gay men who never moved to the big city? You don't think their dating options are more limited? What about those who spent some years caring for an ailing parent or family member? Maybe they were young-ish when they started, but are now older, and alone. The shaming and blaming is ignorant.

by Anonymousreply 316February 4, 2022 2:34 PM

bump

by Anonymousreply 317February 15, 2022 2:00 AM

I always disliked the gay community's intolerance for lesbians and others in the LGBTQ+ community. Gay guys don't want to share their bars, aren't very welcoming and tend to shun lesbians. So much for "community".

by Anonymousreply 318February 15, 2022 7:35 AM

Why the fuck would a lesbian go to a gay men's bar? They go to lesbian bars. Gay men generally don't go to lesbian bars either.

by Anonymousreply 319February 15, 2022 7:44 AM

"I always disliked the gay community's intolerance for lesbians and others in the LGBTQ+ community. "

Not wanting people to invade your special space is intolerant?

Maybe TQ+ should show some respect for the spaces gay men built.

by Anonymousreply 320February 15, 2022 4:27 PM

I'd rather have lesbians than some straight girl's bridal shower.

by Anonymousreply 321February 15, 2022 4:28 PM

Broadway queens.

by Anonymousreply 322February 15, 2022 4:34 PM

One thing I dislike here on this board is the fury of some queeny area of expertise. It's great to have an interest and be knowledgable but when expertise becomes huffing and puffing over whether or not that bustle would be worn or if Ethel Merman entered stage right it gets a little tiresome.

Well, for me, a lot tiresome. Knowledge and arrogance pair poorly.

by Anonymousreply 323February 15, 2022 4:37 PM

R323, see r322. That particular group is too guilty of what you posted about.

by Anonymousreply 324February 15, 2022 4:59 PM

R322, agreed. I don't venture anywhere near the vicious old queen pit and I have passing interest in theater and would like to, but it's isn't life or death to me.

by Anonymousreply 325February 15, 2022 5:01 PM

R316, I agree. It's not so much a question about smaller vs larger dating pool as it is that gay people were not allowed to be fully open and out as straight people are. Straight people have many years more experience in having relationships and navigating them, so they tend to have it easier in terms of sustaining LTRs, but some gay folks certainly do have good long relationships at times too.

As for the argument about 'being picky', I think that's a bit shallow of a judgment. I've known guys who fell under that category, and when I talk to them about it, they say, usually pretty defensively, "I like who I like. Am I supposed to force myself into being attracted to every gay guy out there just so I can couple up? I'd rather be single!"

They make a good enough point - but the kicker is that they really haven't had enough life experience meeting lots of different guys in a general sense, for them to take stock in how there are different kinds of beauty in men. When gay guys learn this, their dating pool expands dramatically. It's not really about being picky, it's just about growing and maturing as a person, so that you aren't just hung up on guys who look like that jock in high school you jerked off to...

by Anonymousreply 326February 15, 2022 10:50 PM

I disagree, R326. It doesn't take a lot of life experience to understand there's more choice the more open you are, the better your odds of finding someone - if you want to find someone. There is very little to prevent a person from examining their choices and values and priorities and choosing differently. The problem is gay culture, where it exists, is too shallow. Straight people's cultural expectation is grow up, get married, have kids - which is generally the path the majority of them follow. Gay culture is too often dominated by go to the gym, get ripped, have sex in the steamroom. That's not everybody but there are some weird big themes pervade our awareness and get in the way.

by Anonymousreply 327February 15, 2022 11:24 PM

Getting back to the original premise, the aspects of gay culture that I dislike, and not so irrationally, is the way in which we perceive our "progress." Though considerable change has reconfigured the gay community over the last two decades, the essence of that change is largely political, legal, and financial. From a social and philosophical standpoint, there is a paucity of significant change. This is evidenced by the increasing violence against gays, up 20% since 2018 in New York City alone; the gentrification of neighborhoods and enclaves we created and nurtured, such as Greenwich Village, Cherry Grove, and the Castro, and the decimation of gay bars that have become muddied waters that only serve to antagonize the gay male that seeks a homoerotic experience. While there is fluidity, there is far less identity, and let it not be forgotten that identity was the touchstone of gay liberation.

As indicated, there is greater tolerance; however, tolerance as the veneer for acceptance that conforms to the political correctness of the moment. It is tolerance that does not convey equality. The need to conform can mold the finest actors out of anyone. While the astute gay male might have incisive character judgment, he is unlikely to be able to read anyone’s mind. One never knows what a person is thinking. The Millenial and Gen Z crowd especially need to absorb this castor oil because they lack the experiences and overt obstacles of prior generations. There is the tendency to take the pontifications of the press and social media as gospel and to invest in the illusion of their own “fabulousness,” minus the wisdom to discern that not everyone is their friend. Yes, many “yes, kweens” will ruminate over their “straight” conquests and covert affairs. Many college guys will defend their straight “frat brothers” as bffs. Learn early that a straight or bisexual will throw you under the bus in a New York minute if it meant their secret coming undone. Learn that most “best friendships” between a gay man and a (genuinely) straight man work only when the gay man defers to an asexual standing and suppresses details on his personal life. If you could eavesdrop on the conversations the straight bros have when you leave the room, you'd be surprised.

Harmony between straight and gay is a fine goal. But this doesn’t happen over two decades. It takes generations to change. In the final analysis, progress happens when gay men can mitigate their obsessions with appearances, zip codes, status, and body morphology, and acknowledge that we are a waning, minority population that needs to strengthen as a unit free of internal discriminations and exclusions.

The rest is propaganda.

by Anonymousreply 328February 15, 2022 11:43 PM

I love old films and the older film actresses, but I have to stay quiet when talking about them to others. I try not to take it personally if my favorite isn't someone else's. But some film queens are self-appointed keepers of said film divas and like some of the Broadway queens, they can be quite problematic. So now I keep my opinions to myself. And now that I gave up the bar scene, there's less of that.

by Anonymousreply 329February 15, 2022 11:45 PM

What is the driver of those types? What do they get from weapons grade hissing over Joan Crawford or Sondheim?

by Anonymousreply 330February 16, 2022 12:43 AM

[quote]I always disliked the gay community's intolerance for lesbians and others in the LGBTQ+ community. Gay guys don't want to share their bars, aren't very welcoming and tend to shun lesbians. So much for "community".

If you were to change the words "gay community" to "gay men" in the first sentence, I would agree. The "gay community" wouldn't be much without lesbians, they have been a presence even a backbone for as long as there has been a modern (19thC and later) "gay community."

The segregation and self-segregation are disappointing, but I like to think that most gay men are less intolerent of lesbians than they are inexperienced with knowing many or knowing any well. There's a bit of "cats versus dogs" rivalry in both directions that is sometimes in good humor and sometimes not. I think any lesbian I know who knows from close interaction a lot of gay men is slow to pick up a broad brush to paint them badly, and the same for any gay man who knows a lot of lesbians from close interaction is likewise slow to criticize.

by Anonymousreply 331February 16, 2022 10:17 AM

Defucturd and this thread brought to you by

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 332February 16, 2022 10:44 AM

R331 Sure, muff diver. Whatever you say.

by Anonymousreply 333February 16, 2022 12:15 PM

I dislike gay people who make gay topics 90% of the conversation.

by Anonymousreply 334February 16, 2022 2:44 PM

I know this is entirely subjective, but many gay guys have really awful taste in music—they can be in their 30’s, 40’s or 50’s and still into basic, trashy pop music, idolising utterly vacuous singers simply because of the “bops”.

by Anonymousreply 335February 16, 2022 4:02 PM

Most people seem to stop listening to new music in their 30s. For me I am still stuck in 80s and 90s music, that I Iistened to when I was a lil girl.

by Anonymousreply 336February 16, 2022 4:04 PM

Open relationships. Especially if the couple is married. Nothing says we are greedy fucking pigs like a couple trying to absorb available single gays.

by Anonymousreply 337February 16, 2022 4:06 PM

The Hillary Clinton worship. She was good. She wasn't God.

by Anonymousreply 338February 16, 2022 5:23 PM

What does that have to do with the subject r338?

by Anonymousreply 339February 16, 2022 7:01 PM

R339, it's an aspect of gay culture, or at least subculture, here.

by Anonymousreply 340February 16, 2022 7:04 PM

It's a total turn-off for me when a man shaves or grooms his bush. I was raised in a time (70s and early 80s) when bush was a sure sign of hyper-masculinity. I was jealous and aroused by the boys who had big ones in PE class. They made no effort to hide it, even flaunting it.

Bring back the Playgirl models of that era, most of whom had big, thick bushes. I got off to so many of those magazines.

by Anonymousreply 341February 17, 2022 12:05 AM

More younger gays seem to be turned on by armpit hair, while liking shaved bushes. Maybe the allure of the armpit is more noticeable when there's no pubic hair? But I don't get how it turned out that you should shave one and not the other.

by Anonymousreply 342February 17, 2022 12:56 PM

[quote] weapons grade hissing

R330, I’m stealing this from you!

by Anonymousreply 343February 17, 2022 12:57 PM

There are a ton of things that I don't like about gay culture. But I realize I am the odd man out and it's easy for me to do my own thing and ignore. The minute I went to my first gay bar I remember being so grateful it was there but also down deep inside I knew I would never truly fit in. But that's more about me than gay culture I suppose. One big thing is sex. I've never had that high of a sex drive. And lucky for me, when I used to do party drugs, they never made me horny. So I never got into combining drugs and sex which seems to be a downfall for so many gay men. All in all, I am glad I am gay and if I could live life over again and choose, I would choose to be gay.

by Anonymousreply 344February 17, 2022 1:09 PM

Call me irrational, but I resent those two minutes of foreplay you have to fake your way through before you get to ram your cock into the guy's ass.

by Anonymousreply 345February 19, 2022 12:52 AM

R345 Then you shoot your wad as you're sticking your micro-peen in their filthy holes. 22 seconds with you, at least it is over fast.

by Anonymousreply 346February 19, 2022 6:26 AM

345 Neil Young would tell you that you are not allowed to touch his potatoes cause you are faggot, so don't play macho men for us, we know you are not.

by Anonymousreply 347February 19, 2022 7:20 AM

[quote] All in all, I am glad I am gay and if I could live life over again and choose, I would choose to be gay.

And we would still choose to have you.

by Anonymousreply 348February 23, 2022 4:19 PM
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