Let's be things Vivian Vance would never have said

Lucy is so much funnier off-camera!

I don't have sufficient.

I just adore Bill Frawley.

I don't have a not-so-secret crush on Desi

My second husband is a master at cunnilingus.

"I didn't mind putting on the extra pounds and looking older in order to get the part."

I actually preferred the name Ethel to Vivian after a while.

I loved my mother.

I never aspired to be a star.

'Champagne for everyone'

I’m deeply saddened to hear of William Frawley’s death. He was an outstanding actor, a delightful colleague and a very good friend.

Jerry Herman asked me to replace Angela Lansbury in Mame.

“I have my deadname on my Phipps-a-Plate!”

I'm a thief and a shit-kicker, and I wanna be famous.

Fred, my poosie yearns for your hot, luscious lips.

It's not generally known but William Frawley and I had an affair in the summer of 1952 when I Love Lucy was in hiatus.

I wish I could sing as well as Lucy!

This wardrobe makes me look too stylish. I'm just a simple gal from Kansas!

I love lucy

I wanted a TOASTER!

Who needs legitimate theater when one has television?

Of course I don’t mind riding the subway in my blue jeans!

Lucy really does look more like Marilyn Monroe than I do.

'Put it in my butt!'

Lucille's kids were psycho-brats. I used to slip mickies into their milk; they slept for hours after that.

I think I can skip that therapy session this week.

Frawley is so hot!

No, I won't have that last pastry. I'm full.

I loved being Ethel Merman's understudy on Broadway. I had so many opportunities to go on for her!

They offered me "Pillow Talk" opposite Rock Hudson but Lucille wouldn't let me off. Doris Day got it and it revived her career.

Does this dress make me look too thin?

Frawley deserved the Emmy, not me.

There's no reason for me to be included as an option in this DL poll.

"I am so fortunate that my legacy lives on as Lucille's sidekick on a website populated by old queens who haven't seen the light of day since 1953"

"A straight man asked me to marry him and I accepted!"

I would never date a married man!

My husband has horrible fashion taste.

Lucy is much more attractive than me.

Desi had tiny sizemeat.

Sorry we missed our cue, Lucy and I were scissoring in my dressing room

I have finally reached my potential as an actress hawking coffee in television commercials.

My third husband is a dynamo in bed. Unfortunately, it's the chauffeur's bed.

All this contractually mandatory body fat keeps me warmer in the winter!

Lucille was a pleasure to work for.

I auditioned for "Ordinary People" but MTM fucked Redford and got the part. I got to keep my self-respect.

Honestly you really couldn't ask for a nicer, caring, thoughtful boss. If you did you'd be fired on the spot.

I can't wait to watch "Being The Ricardos" in 2021

Nicole Kidman is a dead ringer for Lucille

I wish I hadn't have died in 1979. I missed the opportunity to co-star on Life With Lucy!

Boris!

My character on Rhoda was a hoot!

I was born to play Ethel Mertz!

I want to play with Lucy's PUSSY.

I have NOT had sufficient.

My husband is THRILLED I won an Emmy!

"Yes, Bill Frawley, I will marry you!"

My husband loves Playboy

Van Johnson chased me around the set and in my dressing room. That is one horny, skirt chasing rascal.

[quote]Lucy, if you weren't such a controlling, demanding bitch and didn't have such a twisted pussy from all the venereals you picked up from whoring for change in the old days, maybe you could've held on to poor Desi.

No, no, r59. This thread contains things Vivian would NEVER have said

Viv knew how far she could go, and where she didn't dare.

Lucille's series keep getting better and better!

My husband left me for another woman.

Lucille, you're TOO generous!

I couldn't possibly accept a raise for helping to revive your career after your divorce!

Datalounge is filled with witty comments from not-bitchy straight guys.

Gale Gordon adequately filled the space that remained when I left The Lucy Show

Hit me once, shame on you. Hit me twice, I'm leaving you for a gay man!

I was thrilled to be a part of "Lucy Calls the President"

That Gale Gordon just makes my panties moist.

Little Ricky would never have BEEN in the hospital!

":I love Lucy"

Aaron Sorkin is a great director!

Gale Gordon is not a fag...and I'm the dame who can prove it.

Honestly, Desi, I don't know HOW you manage to get it all in me.

Viv only had affairs with women, r74. She couldn't even bring herself to leave me for a straight man!

Her carpet DOESN'T match the drapes!

It's 1953 but I'm talking like it's 2021!

Quick! Sign me up for a spinoff with Bill!!

Mary Jane Croft is a great sidekick for Lucy

Oh Lucy, audiences are going to fall in love with you all over again

after they see "Being the Ricardos!"

It's so funny and real!