I'm the bankable, highly in-demand stars like Scott Baio, Kevin Sorbo and Stacey Dash
Let’s be a conservative Republican film!
|by Anonymous||reply 94||November 29, 2021 5:14 PM|
I'm the filmmakers who talk about the horror of "urban elites" while almost always residing in LA or NYC
|by Anonymous||reply 1||November 19, 2021 2:30 AM|
I'm the refreshing lack of trans characters.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||November 19, 2021 2:33 AM|
I'm the production value. I never make it to set.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||November 19, 2021 2:33 AM|
I'm Kristy Swanson passing Covid around the set.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||November 19, 2021 2:41 AM|
I'm major asshole Nick Searcy being a dick to everyone on Twitter between takes.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||November 19, 2021 2:42 AM|
I'm the unseen Jew-boy cabal that ensures that the film never receives the accolades it deserves!
|by Anonymous||reply 6||November 19, 2021 2:42 AM|
I'm the 2nd Amendment rights.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||November 19, 2021 2:42 AM|
I'm James Woods, auditioning 16 year old actresses on the couch in my trailer.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||November 19, 2021 2:43 AM|
I am the metoo article about how the Texas film community is in a tailspin due to sexual harassment allegations against the one right wing dude who funded all their movies they produced in the state.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||November 19, 2021 2:44 AM|
R6 r7 r9
|by Anonymous||reply 10||November 19, 2021 2:46 AM|
We’re the sassy black sisters played by Diamond and Silk. Every angry old conservative thinks we’re HILARIOUS.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||November 19, 2021 2:49 AM|
I'm the low budget.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||November 19, 2021 2:50 AM|
I'm the saying of grace at the Sunday family dinner scene.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||November 19, 2021 2:56 AM|
I'm the evil, deranged funder. I made millions off some infocommercial dreck. I LOVE JEEBUS.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||November 19, 2021 2:56 AM|
R14 = Ben Shapiro.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||November 19, 2021 3:00 AM|
I'm the hate without which this labour of love would not be possible.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||November 19, 2021 3:01 AM|
I'm the giant flag waving in slow motion.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||November 19, 2021 3:04 AM|
I am the beautiful letter.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||November 19, 2021 3:05 AM|
I am every cliche in the book cramed into the film.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||November 19, 2021 3:07 AM|
I'm God Bless The U.S..A. by Lee Greenwood which is used in the soundtrack.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||November 19, 2021 3:07 AM|
I'm Lawrence Fox's enormous cock playing Hunter Biden's enormous cock.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||November 19, 2021 3:10 AM|
I am Covid Denier On A Ventilator #7
|by Anonymous||reply 22||November 19, 2021 3:13 AM|
I'm Delta variant running through the cast and the crew like a wildfire. None of them are vaccinated - YAY!!
|by Anonymous||reply 23||November 19, 2021 3:13 AM|
I'm Chick-fil-A providing catering and heart disease.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||November 19, 2021 3:15 AM|
I’m the cigar smoke-filled, dark and ominous boardroom where the film plot was hatched up
|by Anonymous||reply 25||November 19, 2021 3:18 AM|
I'm the PPP loan that "small government" conservatives took out during the pandemic while denigrating workers on unemployment insurance.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||November 19, 2021 3:18 AM|
I'm the thoughts, prayers and good guy with a gun who not only save the day but save America as well!
|by Anonymous||reply 27||November 19, 2021 3:22 AM|
R10, suck Daddy's dick until you die.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||November 19, 2021 3:33 AM|
I'm the missing/stolen votes keeping these films from their Oscar nominations!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 29||November 19, 2021 3:37 AM|
I'm the "family values" message in the film.
You can't do conservative films without it!
|by Anonymous||reply 30||November 19, 2021 4:00 AM|
I'm the D-list European actor who had his heyday in the late 70s playing the Antichrist. Hey, a paycheck is a paycheck.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||November 19, 2021 4:02 AM|
I'm the big right wing action star who promotes "family values" but cheats on their wife/partner while preaching it (& it always comes out in the media because I'm not smart enough to keep it covered up) =
Arnold, Sly, Denzel, Bruce Willis, Steven Seagal, etc. etc.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||November 19, 2021 4:06 AM|
I’m the large home with columns. It’s a dog whistle that harkens back to a Paula Deen wet dream. Oh, isn’t that lawn jockey adorable?
|by Anonymous||reply 33||November 19, 2021 4:14 AM|
I’m Jon Voight. I complain about the treatment of Republicans in Hollywood but unlike 90% of my age demographic I still receive high profile work and mainstream award nominations. I call acting in these no budget Conservative productions good for the soul.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||November 19, 2021 5:10 AM|
I’m the Hallmark Channel even I won’t carry this dreck. Try Dove.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||November 19, 2021 5:13 AM|
I'm the wrap party at In-N-Out Burger, because they don't require masks.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||November 19, 2021 5:27 AM|
I’m the promotion material promising to “TRIGGER THE LIBERALS”
|by Anonymous||reply 37||November 19, 2021 5:28 AM|
I'm Antonio Sabato, Jr. with a butt plug up my chuff, complaining how I'm canceled now since playing the rusty trombone with Trump!
|by Anonymous||reply 38||November 19, 2021 5:48 AM|
I’m the trophy from the conservative foundation that gives awards to any film that donates five figures.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||November 19, 2021 6:10 AM|
I'm the "coastal elites" aka Jews
|by Anonymous||reply 40||November 19, 2021 6:14 AM|
I'm the has-been actor that you can't quite place. I might have been on an 80s nighttime soap or a 90s sitcom.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||November 19, 2021 6:17 AM|
I’m the wayward teen in the film. The film’s writers were born in 1962, so I wear flannel and like to skateboard. Also, one hit off a joint turns me into a violent criminal.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||November 19, 2021 6:17 AM|
I'm the actor who isn't particularly conservative or religious but signed on to appear in this crap because he hasn't worked in a while and really needs the money
|by Anonymous||reply 43||November 19, 2021 6:18 AM|
I’m the Goya beans and MyPillow product placement.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||November 19, 2021 6:20 AM|
I’m the frau wife, contemplative sipping a pumpkin spice drink while wearing a duster, worrying that my morning goodbye kiss to my cop hubby on his way to work, might’ve been our last.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||November 19, 2021 7:18 AM|
I'm Hoopla, the free streaming service offered by your local library where most of these piece of shit films end up.
|by Anonymous||reply 46||November 19, 2021 7:49 AM|
Wilfred Brimley or bust!
|by Anonymous||reply 47||November 19, 2021 8:13 AM|
I'm the anti abortion sub plot in the film.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||November 19, 2021 8:55 AM|
I'm the large family dog.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||November 19, 2021 12:20 PM|
r2 r13 r17
|by Anonymous||reply 50||November 19, 2021 12:20 PM|
I'm JK Rowling. The twats I turned into multimillionaires by the time they were 18 insulted my intelligence with the classic blinkered bullshit of the liberal left.
I will be sure that this film won't be kow-towing to the Biology Doesn't Mean Anything crowd.
|by Anonymous||reply 51||November 19, 2021 12:46 PM|
I'm their fake religious piety and their faux patriotism that conservatives and Republicans so love that will go into the film.
Art imitating life.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||November 19, 2021 1:48 PM|
I’m R51 and I got lost on my way to the showing of “Saving Christmas” starring Kirk Cameron.
|by Anonymous||reply 53||November 19, 2021 1:52 PM|
I'm R53 - I think people like JK Rowling should be called dangerous to be around children because they think biology isn't a "social construct".
|by Anonymous||reply 54||November 19, 2021 1:56 PM|
I am the lack of plot and thinly veiled racism.
|by Anonymous||reply 55||November 19, 2021 2:04 PM|
I'm R51/R54 AKA DeTurdo AKA Att Manscher and I'll be one of the three people outside church groups who will actually pay to see this.
|by Anonymous||reply 56||November 19, 2021 2:55 PM|
I'm the refreshing lack of moral ambiguity.
|by Anonymous||reply 57||November 19, 2021 3:21 PM|
I'm the "themes" of the "film", delivered with the subtlety of a crashing plane.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||November 19, 2021 9:13 PM|
I'm the truly heinous green screen work throughout, but especially when Corbin Bernsen and Dennis Quaid are standing on the steps of the Supreme Court.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||November 19, 2021 9:19 PM|
I'm the evil atheist lawyer/professor/politician who hates god. Watch me sneer at the christian protagonist.
|by Anonymous||reply 60||November 19, 2021 9:29 PM|
r51 r55 r54 r57
|by Anonymous||reply 61||November 19, 2021 10:14 PM|
I'm the fat actor playing a Michael Moore type. I will see the truth in the end and be redeemed!
|by Anonymous||reply 62||November 19, 2021 10:28 PM|
I'm the 2-day Fathom Event screening at selected theaters, attended by approx. 10 people.
|by Anonymous||reply 63||November 19, 2021 10:36 PM|
I’m the gay bi-racial couple who moved into the lily white suburbs. When our home was firebombed, the audience cheered.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||November 19, 2021 10:38 PM|
I’m Kyle Shit-in-House, making a cameo appearance because I am what passes as an inspirational hero (Deus ex machina) to the morally depraved Christian Right.
|by Anonymous||reply 65||November 19, 2021 10:46 PM|
I'm the complete historical illiteracy.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||November 19, 2021 10:48 PM|
I'm all the secret gay sex going on that nobody talks about.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||November 19, 2021 11:01 PM|
I'm the cocaine. You wouldn't think all these Christers would be into me, but daaaaaaamnnnnn... 4 lines and they're up to their elbows in each other's asses.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||November 19, 2021 11:13 PM|
I'm Kyle Rittenhouse, cast as "Dog Walker #2".
|by Anonymous||reply 69||November 19, 2021 11:18 PM|
I'm Jasmine Guy showing up to get a paycheck.
|by Anonymous||reply 70||November 20, 2021 1:44 AM|
I'm Tommy Wiseau, I'll be directing.
|by Anonymous||reply 71||November 20, 2021 2:21 AM|
I'm Randy Quaid, playing a Hollywood celebrity whacker.
|by Anonymous||reply 72||November 20, 2021 2:26 AM|
I'm Ricky Schroder fighting "the good fight".
|by Anonymous||reply 73||November 20, 2021 2:47 AM|
I'm the inevitable reference to GOP Jesus.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||November 20, 2021 3:18 AM|
I'm the picture perfect family.
Nothing bad could ever happen to us.
Or could it?
|by Anonymous||reply 75||November 20, 2021 3:26 AM|
I'm the cinematography confusing the viewer into believing this is actually a corporate training video.
|by Anonymous||reply 76||November 20, 2021 4:08 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 77||November 20, 2021 1:46 PM|
I'm the voice of reason in a world gone mad.
|by Anonymous||reply 78||November 20, 2021 3:27 PM|
I'm the son who is just a little different than the other boys.
|by Anonymous||reply 79||November 20, 2021 4:02 PM|
I’m Dean Cain and I play the cackling liberal villain of the piece. My character works in some ill-defined sphere of academia. My big third act scene has me saying, "Jesus? Only idiots and troglodytes believe in Jesus. I believe in science and serving my own selfish self-interests. Sex with multiple partners and illegal drugs and Hillary Clinton, man!" and then I get hit by an out of control city bus driven by an illegal immigrant. It’s a very layered film.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||November 20, 2021 4:11 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 81||November 20, 2021 5:55 PM|
I am Donald Trump and I insist on a cameo appearance. Must be filmed at one of my properties. My fee is $25 million. Nonnegotiable.
|by Anonymous||reply 82||November 24, 2021 11:38 PM|
I am the nastiness that the filmakers confuse with humor
|by Anonymous||reply 83||November 24, 2021 11:47 PM|
I'm Kimberly Guilfoyle and I'll give a lap dance to anybody who funds the movie (and gives me some coke)
|by Anonymous||reply 84||November 25, 2021 12:24 AM|
I'm the complete lack of nuance. Also the lack of surprise that there is no nuance.
|by Anonymous||reply 85||November 25, 2021 12:35 AM|
…Staring Chrissy Metz, Chris Pratt, Jim Caviezal and Directed by Mel Gibson.
|by Anonymous||reply 86||November 25, 2021 12:41 AM|
R86 Is Chrissy Metz a conservative?
|by Anonymous||reply 87||November 29, 2021 7:24 AM|
I am the Bible they beat on the lectern to prove their points.
|by Anonymous||reply 88||November 29, 2021 7:26 AM|
I am the "I'm Proud To Be An American" big dance finale.
|by Anonymous||reply 89||November 29, 2021 7:27 AM|
I am the flag they wrap around their bodies while they protest. Damn, their pussy stinks.
|by Anonymous||reply 90||November 29, 2021 7:30 AM|
The heroine of the film.
|by Anonymous||reply 91||November 29, 2021 7:31 AM|
I am the heroine’s Mother.
|by Anonymous||reply 92||November 29, 2021 7:35 AM|
I'm the Italian hasbeen whose biggest credit was two lines on The Sopranos. I play the president of an unnamed Muslim country. I use Angelina Jolie's Transylvanian accent.
|by Anonymous||reply 93||November 29, 2021 3:03 PM|
I'm the refreshing lack of woke.
|by Anonymous||reply 94||November 29, 2021 5:14 PM|