Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

Let’s be a conservative Republican film!

I'm the bankable, highly in-demand stars like Scott Baio, Kevin Sorbo and Stacey Dash

by Anonymousreply 94November 29, 2021 5:14 PM

I'm the filmmakers who talk about the horror of "urban elites" while almost always residing in LA or NYC

by Anonymousreply 1November 19, 2021 2:30 AM

I'm the refreshing lack of trans characters.

by Anonymousreply 2November 19, 2021 2:33 AM

I'm the production value. I never make it to set.

by Anonymousreply 3November 19, 2021 2:33 AM

I'm Kristy Swanson passing Covid around the set.

by Anonymousreply 4November 19, 2021 2:41 AM

I'm major asshole Nick Searcy being a dick to everyone on Twitter between takes.

by Anonymousreply 5November 19, 2021 2:42 AM

I'm the unseen Jew-boy cabal that ensures that the film never receives the accolades it deserves!

by Anonymousreply 6November 19, 2021 2:42 AM

I'm the 2nd Amendment rights.

by Anonymousreply 7November 19, 2021 2:42 AM

I'm James Woods, auditioning 16 year old actresses on the couch in my trailer.

by Anonymousreply 8November 19, 2021 2:43 AM

I am the metoo article about how the Texas film community is in a tailspin due to sexual harassment allegations against the one right wing dude who funded all their movies they produced in the state.

by Anonymousreply 9November 19, 2021 2:44 AM

R6 r7 r9

by Anonymousreply 10November 19, 2021 2:46 AM

We’re the sassy black sisters played by Diamond and Silk. Every angry old conservative thinks we’re HILARIOUS.

by Anonymousreply 11November 19, 2021 2:49 AM

I'm the low budget.

by Anonymousreply 12November 19, 2021 2:50 AM

I'm the saying of grace at the Sunday family dinner scene.

by Anonymousreply 13November 19, 2021 2:56 AM

I'm the evil, deranged funder. I made millions off some infocommercial dreck. I LOVE JEEBUS.

by Anonymousreply 14November 19, 2021 2:56 AM

R14 = Ben Shapiro.

by Anonymousreply 15November 19, 2021 3:00 AM

I'm the hate without which this labour of love would not be possible.

by Anonymousreply 16November 19, 2021 3:01 AM

I'm the giant flag waving in slow motion.

by Anonymousreply 17November 19, 2021 3:04 AM

I am the beautiful letter.

by Anonymousreply 18November 19, 2021 3:05 AM

I am every cliche in the book cramed into the film.

by Anonymousreply 19November 19, 2021 3:07 AM

I'm God Bless The U.S..A. by Lee Greenwood which is used in the soundtrack.

by Anonymousreply 20November 19, 2021 3:07 AM

I'm Lawrence Fox's enormous cock playing Hunter Biden's enormous cock.

by Anonymousreply 21November 19, 2021 3:10 AM

I am Covid Denier On A Ventilator #7

by Anonymousreply 22November 19, 2021 3:13 AM

I'm Delta variant running through the cast and the crew like a wildfire. None of them are vaccinated - YAY!!

by Anonymousreply 23November 19, 2021 3:13 AM

I'm Chick-fil-A providing catering and heart disease.

by Anonymousreply 24November 19, 2021 3:15 AM

I’m the cigar smoke-filled, dark and ominous boardroom where the film plot was hatched up

by Anonymousreply 25November 19, 2021 3:18 AM

I'm the PPP loan that "small government" conservatives took out during the pandemic while denigrating workers on unemployment insurance.

by Anonymousreply 26November 19, 2021 3:18 AM

I'm the thoughts, prayers and good guy with a gun who not only save the day but save America as well!

by Anonymousreply 27November 19, 2021 3:22 AM

R10, suck Daddy's dick until you die.

by Anonymousreply 28November 19, 2021 3:33 AM

I'm the missing/stolen votes keeping these films from their Oscar nominations!!!

by Anonymousreply 29November 19, 2021 3:37 AM

I'm the "family values" message in the film.

You can't do conservative films without it!

by Anonymousreply 30November 19, 2021 4:00 AM

I'm the D-list European actor who had his heyday in the late 70s playing the Antichrist. Hey, a paycheck is a paycheck.

by Anonymousreply 31November 19, 2021 4:02 AM

I'm the big right wing action star who promotes "family values" but cheats on their wife/partner while preaching it (& it always comes out in the media because I'm not smart enough to keep it covered up) =

Arnold, Sly, Denzel, Bruce Willis, Steven Seagal, etc. etc.

by Anonymousreply 32November 19, 2021 4:06 AM

I’m the large home with columns. It’s a dog whistle that harkens back to a Paula Deen wet dream. Oh, isn’t that lawn jockey adorable?

by Anonymousreply 33November 19, 2021 4:14 AM

I’m Jon Voight. I complain about the treatment of Republicans in Hollywood but unlike 90% of my age demographic I still receive high profile work and mainstream award nominations. I call acting in these no budget Conservative productions good for the soul.

by Anonymousreply 34November 19, 2021 5:10 AM

I’m the Hallmark Channel even I won’t carry this dreck. Try Dove.

by Anonymousreply 35November 19, 2021 5:13 AM

I'm the wrap party at In-N-Out Burger, because they don't require masks.

by Anonymousreply 36November 19, 2021 5:27 AM

I’m the promotion material promising to “TRIGGER THE LIBERALS”

by Anonymousreply 37November 19, 2021 5:28 AM

I'm Antonio Sabato, Jr. with a butt plug up my chuff, complaining how I'm canceled now since playing the rusty trombone with Trump!

by Anonymousreply 38November 19, 2021 5:48 AM

I’m the trophy from the conservative foundation that gives awards to any film that donates five figures.

by Anonymousreply 39November 19, 2021 6:10 AM

I'm the "coastal elites" aka Jews

by Anonymousreply 40November 19, 2021 6:14 AM

I'm the has-been actor that you can't quite place. I might have been on an 80s nighttime soap or a 90s sitcom.

by Anonymousreply 41November 19, 2021 6:17 AM

I’m the wayward teen in the film. The film’s writers were born in 1962, so I wear flannel and like to skateboard. Also, one hit off a joint turns me into a violent criminal.

by Anonymousreply 42November 19, 2021 6:17 AM

I'm the actor who isn't particularly conservative or religious but signed on to appear in this crap because he hasn't worked in a while and really needs the money

by Anonymousreply 43November 19, 2021 6:18 AM

I’m the Goya beans and MyPillow product placement.

by Anonymousreply 44November 19, 2021 6:20 AM

I’m the frau wife, contemplative sipping a pumpkin spice drink while wearing a duster, worrying that my morning goodbye kiss to my cop hubby on his way to work, might’ve been our last.

by Anonymousreply 45November 19, 2021 7:18 AM

I'm Hoopla, the free streaming service offered by your local library where most of these piece of shit films end up.

by Anonymousreply 46November 19, 2021 7:49 AM

Wilfred Brimley or bust!

by Anonymousreply 47November 19, 2021 8:13 AM

I'm the anti abortion sub plot in the film.

by Anonymousreply 48November 19, 2021 8:55 AM

I'm the large family dog.

by Anonymousreply 49November 19, 2021 12:20 PM

r2 r13 r17

by Anonymousreply 50November 19, 2021 12:20 PM

I'm JK Rowling. The twats I turned into multimillionaires by the time they were 18 insulted my intelligence with the classic blinkered bullshit of the liberal left.

I will be sure that this film won't be kow-towing to the Biology Doesn't Mean Anything crowd.

by Anonymousreply 51November 19, 2021 12:46 PM

I'm their fake religious piety and their faux patriotism that conservatives and Republicans so love that will go into the film.

Art imitating life.

by Anonymousreply 52November 19, 2021 1:48 PM

I’m R51 and I got lost on my way to the showing of “Saving Christmas” starring Kirk Cameron.

by Anonymousreply 53November 19, 2021 1:52 PM

I'm R53 - I think people like JK Rowling should be called dangerous to be around children because they think biology isn't a "social construct".

by Anonymousreply 54November 19, 2021 1:56 PM

I am the lack of plot and thinly veiled racism.

by Anonymousreply 55November 19, 2021 2:04 PM

I'm R51/R54 AKA DeTurdo AKA Att Manscher and I'll be one of the three people outside church groups who will actually pay to see this.

by Anonymousreply 56November 19, 2021 2:55 PM

I'm the refreshing lack of moral ambiguity.

by Anonymousreply 57November 19, 2021 3:21 PM

I'm the "themes" of the "film", delivered with the subtlety of a crashing plane.

by Anonymousreply 58November 19, 2021 9:13 PM

I'm the truly heinous green screen work throughout, but especially when Corbin Bernsen and Dennis Quaid are standing on the steps of the Supreme Court.

by Anonymousreply 59November 19, 2021 9:19 PM

I'm the evil atheist lawyer/professor/politician who hates god. Watch me sneer at the christian protagonist.

by Anonymousreply 60November 19, 2021 9:29 PM

r51 r55 r54 r57

by Anonymousreply 61November 19, 2021 10:14 PM

I'm the fat actor playing a Michael Moore type. I will see the truth in the end and be redeemed!

by Anonymousreply 62November 19, 2021 10:28 PM

I'm the 2-day Fathom Event screening at selected theaters, attended by approx. 10 people.

by Anonymousreply 63November 19, 2021 10:36 PM

I’m the gay bi-racial couple who moved into the lily white suburbs. When our home was firebombed, the audience cheered.

by Anonymousreply 64November 19, 2021 10:38 PM

I’m Kyle Shit-in-House, making a cameo appearance because I am what passes as an inspirational hero (Deus ex machina) to the morally depraved Christian Right.

by Anonymousreply 65November 19, 2021 10:46 PM

I'm the complete historical illiteracy.

by Anonymousreply 66November 19, 2021 10:48 PM

I'm all the secret gay sex going on that nobody talks about.

by Anonymousreply 67November 19, 2021 11:01 PM

I'm the cocaine. You wouldn't think all these Christers would be into me, but daaaaaaamnnnnn... 4 lines and they're up to their elbows in each other's asses.

by Anonymousreply 68November 19, 2021 11:13 PM

I'm Kyle Rittenhouse, cast as "Dog Walker #2".

by Anonymousreply 69November 19, 2021 11:18 PM

I'm Jasmine Guy showing up to get a paycheck.

by Anonymousreply 70November 20, 2021 1:44 AM

I'm Tommy Wiseau, I'll be directing.

by Anonymousreply 71November 20, 2021 2:21 AM

I'm Randy Quaid, playing a Hollywood celebrity whacker.

by Anonymousreply 72November 20, 2021 2:26 AM

I'm Ricky Schroder fighting "the good fight".

by Anonymousreply 73November 20, 2021 2:47 AM

I'm the inevitable reference to GOP Jesus.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 74November 20, 2021 3:18 AM

I'm the picture perfect family.

Nothing bad could ever happen to us.

Or could it?

by Anonymousreply 75November 20, 2021 3:26 AM

I'm the cinematography confusing the viewer into believing this is actually a corporate training video.

by Anonymousreply 76November 20, 2021 4:08 AM

r75

by Anonymousreply 77November 20, 2021 1:46 PM

I'm the voice of reason in a world gone mad.

by Anonymousreply 78November 20, 2021 3:27 PM

I'm the son who is just a little different than the other boys.

by Anonymousreply 79November 20, 2021 4:02 PM

I’m Dean Cain and I play the cackling liberal villain of the piece. My character works in some ill-defined sphere of academia. My big third act scene has me saying, "Jesus? Only idiots and troglodytes believe in Jesus. I believe in science and serving my own selfish self-interests. Sex with multiple partners and illegal drugs and Hillary Clinton, man!" and then I get hit by an out of control city bus driven by an illegal immigrant. It’s a very layered film.

by Anonymousreply 80November 20, 2021 4:11 PM

r78.

by Anonymousreply 81November 20, 2021 5:55 PM

I am Donald Trump and I insist on a cameo appearance. Must be filmed at one of my properties. My fee is $25 million. Nonnegotiable.

by Anonymousreply 82November 24, 2021 11:38 PM

I am the nastiness that the filmakers confuse with humor

by Anonymousreply 83November 24, 2021 11:47 PM

I'm Kimberly Guilfoyle and I'll give a lap dance to anybody who funds the movie (and gives me some coke)

by Anonymousreply 84November 25, 2021 12:24 AM

I'm the complete lack of nuance. Also the lack of surprise that there is no nuance.

by Anonymousreply 85November 25, 2021 12:35 AM

…Staring Chrissy Metz, Chris Pratt, Jim Caviezal and Directed by Mel Gibson.

by Anonymousreply 86November 25, 2021 12:41 AM

R86 Is Chrissy Metz a conservative?

by Anonymousreply 87November 29, 2021 7:24 AM

I am the Bible they beat on the lectern to prove their points.

by Anonymousreply 88November 29, 2021 7:26 AM

I am the "I'm Proud To Be An American" big dance finale.

by Anonymousreply 89November 29, 2021 7:27 AM

I am the flag they wrap around their bodies while they protest. Damn, their pussy stinks.

by Anonymousreply 90November 29, 2021 7:30 AM

The heroine of the film.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 91November 29, 2021 7:31 AM

I am the heroine’s Mother.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 92November 29, 2021 7:35 AM

I'm the Italian hasbeen whose biggest credit was two lines on The Sopranos. I play the president of an unnamed Muslim country. I use Angelina Jolie's Transylvanian accent.

by Anonymousreply 93November 29, 2021 3:03 PM

I'm the refreshing lack of woke.

by Anonymousreply 94November 29, 2021 5:14 PM
Loading
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.

×

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!