I'm the bankable, highly in-demand stars like Scott Baio, Kevin Sorbo and Stacey Dash
Let’s be a conservative Republican film!
by Anonymous | reply 113 | December 17, 2021 12:03 AM |
I'm the filmmakers who talk about the horror of "urban elites" while almost always residing in LA or NYC
by Anonymous | reply 1 | November 19, 2021 1:30 AM |
I'm the refreshing lack of trans characters.
by Anonymous | reply 2 | November 19, 2021 1:33 AM |
I'm the production value. I never make it to set.
by Anonymous | reply 3 | November 19, 2021 1:33 AM |
I'm Kristy Swanson passing Covid around the set.
by Anonymous | reply 4 | November 19, 2021 1:41 AM |
I'm major asshole Nick Searcy being a dick to everyone on Twitter between takes.
by Anonymous | reply 5 | November 19, 2021 1:42 AM |
I'm the unseen Jew-boy cabal that ensures that the film never receives the accolades it deserves!
by Anonymous | reply 6 | November 19, 2021 1:42 AM |
I'm the 2nd Amendment rights.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | November 19, 2021 1:42 AM |
I'm James Woods, auditioning 16 year old actresses on the couch in my trailer.
by Anonymous | reply 8 | November 19, 2021 1:43 AM |
I am the metoo article about how the Texas film community is in a tailspin due to sexual harassment allegations against the one right wing dude who funded all their movies they produced in the state.
by Anonymous | reply 9 | November 19, 2021 1:44 AM |
R6 r7 r9
by Anonymous | reply 10 | November 19, 2021 1:46 AM |
We’re the sassy black sisters played by Diamond and Silk. Every angry old conservative thinks we’re HILARIOUS.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | November 19, 2021 1:49 AM |
I'm the low budget.
by Anonymous | reply 12 | November 19, 2021 1:50 AM |
I'm the saying of grace at the Sunday family dinner scene.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | November 19, 2021 1:56 AM |
I'm the evil, deranged funder. I made millions off some infocommercial dreck. I LOVE JEEBUS.
by Anonymous | reply 14 | November 19, 2021 1:56 AM |
R14 = Ben Shapiro.
by Anonymous | reply 15 | November 19, 2021 2:00 AM |
I'm the hate without which this labour of love would not be possible.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | November 19, 2021 2:01 AM |
I'm the giant flag waving in slow motion.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | November 19, 2021 2:04 AM |
I am the beautiful letter.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | November 19, 2021 2:05 AM |
I am every cliche in the book cramed into the film.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | November 19, 2021 2:07 AM |
I'm God Bless The U.S..A. by Lee Greenwood which is used in the soundtrack.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | November 19, 2021 2:07 AM |
I'm Lawrence Fox's enormous cock playing Hunter Biden's enormous cock.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | November 19, 2021 2:10 AM |
I am Covid Denier On A Ventilator #7
by Anonymous | reply 22 | November 19, 2021 2:13 AM |
I'm Delta variant running through the cast and the crew like a wildfire. None of them are vaccinated - YAY!!
by Anonymous | reply 23 | November 19, 2021 2:13 AM |
I'm Chick-fil-A providing catering and heart disease.
by Anonymous | reply 24 | November 19, 2021 2:15 AM |
I’m the cigar smoke-filled, dark and ominous boardroom where the film plot was hatched up
by Anonymous | reply 25 | November 19, 2021 2:18 AM |
I'm the PPP loan that "small government" conservatives took out during the pandemic while denigrating workers on unemployment insurance.
by Anonymous | reply 26 | November 19, 2021 2:18 AM |
I'm the thoughts, prayers and good guy with a gun who not only save the day but save America as well!
by Anonymous | reply 27 | November 19, 2021 2:22 AM |
R10, suck Daddy's dick until you die.
by Anonymous | reply 28 | November 19, 2021 2:33 AM |
I'm the missing/stolen votes keeping these films from their Oscar nominations!!!
by Anonymous | reply 29 | November 19, 2021 2:37 AM |
I'm the "family values" message in the film.
You can't do conservative films without it!
by Anonymous | reply 30 | November 19, 2021 3:00 AM |
I'm the D-list European actor who had his heyday in the late 70s playing the Antichrist. Hey, a paycheck is a paycheck.
by Anonymous | reply 31 | November 19, 2021 3:02 AM |
I'm the big right wing action star who promotes "family values" but cheats on their wife/partner while preaching it (& it always comes out in the media because I'm not smart enough to keep it covered up) =
Arnold, Sly, Denzel, Bruce Willis, Steven Seagal, etc. etc.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | November 19, 2021 3:06 AM |
I’m the large home with columns. It’s a dog whistle that harkens back to a Paula Deen wet dream. Oh, isn’t that lawn jockey adorable?
by Anonymous | reply 33 | November 19, 2021 3:14 AM |
I’m Jon Voight. I complain about the treatment of Republicans in Hollywood but unlike 90% of my age demographic I still receive high profile work and mainstream award nominations. I call acting in these no budget Conservative productions good for the soul.
by Anonymous | reply 34 | November 19, 2021 4:10 AM |
I’m the Hallmark Channel even I won’t carry this dreck. Try Dove.
by Anonymous | reply 35 | November 19, 2021 4:13 AM |
I'm the wrap party at In-N-Out Burger, because they don't require masks.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | November 19, 2021 4:27 AM |
I’m the promotion material promising to “TRIGGER THE LIBERALS”
by Anonymous | reply 37 | November 19, 2021 4:28 AM |
I'm Antonio Sabato, Jr. with a butt plug up my chuff, complaining how I'm canceled now since playing the rusty trombone with Trump!
by Anonymous | reply 38 | November 19, 2021 4:48 AM |
I’m the trophy from the conservative foundation that gives awards to any film that donates five figures.
by Anonymous | reply 39 | November 19, 2021 5:10 AM |
I'm the "coastal elites" aka Jews
by Anonymous | reply 40 | November 19, 2021 5:14 AM |
I'm the has-been actor that you can't quite place. I might have been on an 80s nighttime soap or a 90s sitcom.
by Anonymous | reply 41 | November 19, 2021 5:17 AM |
I’m the wayward teen in the film. The film’s writers were born in 1962, so I wear flannel and like to skateboard. Also, one hit off a joint turns me into a violent criminal.
by Anonymous | reply 42 | November 19, 2021 5:17 AM |
I'm the actor who isn't particularly conservative or religious but signed on to appear in this crap because he hasn't worked in a while and really needs the money
by Anonymous | reply 43 | November 19, 2021 5:18 AM |
I’m the Goya beans and MyPillow product placement.
by Anonymous | reply 44 | November 19, 2021 5:20 AM |
I’m the frau wife, contemplative sipping a pumpkin spice drink while wearing a duster, worrying that my morning goodbye kiss to my cop hubby on his way to work, might’ve been our last.
by Anonymous | reply 45 | November 19, 2021 6:18 AM |
I'm Hoopla, the free streaming service offered by your local library where most of these piece of shit films end up.
by Anonymous | reply 46 | November 19, 2021 6:49 AM |
Wilfred Brimley or bust!
by Anonymous | reply 47 | November 19, 2021 7:13 AM |
I'm the anti abortion sub plot in the film.
by Anonymous | reply 48 | November 19, 2021 7:55 AM |
I'm the large family dog.
by Anonymous | reply 49 | November 19, 2021 11:20 AM |
r2 r13 r17
by Anonymous | reply 50 | November 19, 2021 11:20 AM |
I'm JK Rowling. The twats I turned into multimillionaires by the time they were 18 insulted my intelligence with the classic blinkered bullshit of the liberal left.
I will be sure that this film won't be kow-towing to the Biology Doesn't Mean Anything crowd.
by Anonymous | reply 51 | November 19, 2021 11:46 AM |
I'm their fake religious piety and their faux patriotism that conservatives and Republicans so love that will go into the film.
Art imitating life.
by Anonymous | reply 52 | November 19, 2021 12:48 PM |
I’m R51 and I got lost on my way to the showing of “Saving Christmas” starring Kirk Cameron.
by Anonymous | reply 53 | November 19, 2021 12:52 PM |
I'm R53 - I think people like JK Rowling should be called dangerous to be around children because they think biology isn't a "social construct".
by Anonymous | reply 54 | November 19, 2021 12:56 PM |
I am the lack of plot and thinly veiled racism.
by Anonymous | reply 55 | November 19, 2021 1:04 PM |
I'm R51/R54 AKA DeTurdo AKA Att Manscher and I'll be one of the three people outside church groups who will actually pay to see this.
by Anonymous | reply 56 | November 19, 2021 1:55 PM |
I'm the refreshing lack of moral ambiguity.
by Anonymous | reply 57 | November 19, 2021 2:21 PM |
I'm the "themes" of the "film", delivered with the subtlety of a crashing plane.
by Anonymous | reply 58 | November 19, 2021 8:13 PM |
I'm the truly heinous green screen work throughout, but especially when Corbin Bernsen and Dennis Quaid are standing on the steps of the Supreme Court.
by Anonymous | reply 59 | November 19, 2021 8:19 PM |
I'm the evil atheist lawyer/professor/politician who hates god. Watch me sneer at the christian protagonist.
by Anonymous | reply 60 | November 19, 2021 8:29 PM |
r51 r55 r54 r57
by Anonymous | reply 61 | November 19, 2021 9:14 PM |
I'm the fat actor playing a Michael Moore type. I will see the truth in the end and be redeemed!
by Anonymous | reply 62 | November 19, 2021 9:28 PM |
I'm the 2-day Fathom Event screening at selected theaters, attended by approx. 10 people.
by Anonymous | reply 63 | November 19, 2021 9:36 PM |
I’m the gay bi-racial couple who moved into the lily white suburbs. When our home was firebombed, the audience cheered.
by Anonymous | reply 64 | November 19, 2021 9:38 PM |
I’m Kyle Shit-in-House, making a cameo appearance because I am what passes as an inspirational hero (Deus ex machina) to the morally depraved Christian Right.
by Anonymous | reply 65 | November 19, 2021 9:46 PM |
I'm the complete historical illiteracy.
by Anonymous | reply 66 | November 19, 2021 9:48 PM |
I'm all the secret gay sex going on that nobody talks about.
by Anonymous | reply 67 | November 19, 2021 10:01 PM |
I'm the cocaine. You wouldn't think all these Christers would be into me, but daaaaaaamnnnnn... 4 lines and they're up to their elbows in each other's asses.
by Anonymous | reply 68 | November 19, 2021 10:13 PM |
I'm Kyle Rittenhouse, cast as "Dog Walker #2".
by Anonymous | reply 69 | November 19, 2021 10:18 PM |
I'm Jasmine Guy showing up to get a paycheck.
by Anonymous | reply 70 | November 20, 2021 12:44 AM |
I'm Tommy Wiseau, I'll be directing.
by Anonymous | reply 71 | November 20, 2021 1:21 AM |
I'm Randy Quaid, playing a Hollywood celebrity whacker.
by Anonymous | reply 72 | November 20, 2021 1:26 AM |
I'm Ricky Schroder fighting "the good fight".
by Anonymous | reply 73 | November 20, 2021 1:47 AM |
I'm the picture perfect family.
Nothing bad could ever happen to us.
Or could it?
by Anonymous | reply 75 | November 20, 2021 2:26 AM |
I'm the cinematography confusing the viewer into believing this is actually a corporate training video.
by Anonymous | reply 76 | November 20, 2021 3:08 AM |
r75
by Anonymous | reply 77 | November 20, 2021 12:46 PM |
I'm the voice of reason in a world gone mad.
by Anonymous | reply 78 | November 20, 2021 2:27 PM |
I'm the son who is just a little different than the other boys.
by Anonymous | reply 79 | November 20, 2021 3:02 PM |
I’m Dean Cain and I play the cackling liberal villain of the piece. My character works in some ill-defined sphere of academia. My big third act scene has me saying, "Jesus? Only idiots and troglodytes believe in Jesus. I believe in science and serving my own selfish self-interests. Sex with multiple partners and illegal drugs and Hillary Clinton, man!" and then I get hit by an out of control city bus driven by an illegal immigrant. It’s a very layered film.
by Anonymous | reply 80 | November 20, 2021 3:11 PM |
r78.
by Anonymous | reply 81 | November 20, 2021 4:55 PM |
I am Donald Trump and I insist on a cameo appearance. Must be filmed at one of my properties. My fee is $25 million. Nonnegotiable.
by Anonymous | reply 82 | November 24, 2021 10:38 PM |
I am the nastiness that the filmakers confuse with humor
by Anonymous | reply 83 | November 24, 2021 10:47 PM |
I'm Kimberly Guilfoyle and I'll give a lap dance to anybody who funds the movie (and gives me some coke)
by Anonymous | reply 84 | November 24, 2021 11:24 PM |
I'm the complete lack of nuance. Also the lack of surprise that there is no nuance.
by Anonymous | reply 85 | November 24, 2021 11:35 PM |
…Staring Chrissy Metz, Chris Pratt, Jim Caviezal and Directed by Mel Gibson.
by Anonymous | reply 86 | November 24, 2021 11:41 PM |
R86 Is Chrissy Metz a conservative?
by Anonymous | reply 87 | November 29, 2021 6:24 AM |
I am the Bible they beat on the lectern to prove their points.
by Anonymous | reply 88 | November 29, 2021 6:26 AM |
I am the "I'm Proud To Be An American" big dance finale.
by Anonymous | reply 89 | November 29, 2021 6:27 AM |
I am the flag they wrap around their bodies while they protest. Damn, their pussy stinks.
by Anonymous | reply 90 | November 29, 2021 6:30 AM |
I'm the Italian hasbeen whose biggest credit was two lines on The Sopranos. I play the president of an unnamed Muslim country. I use Angelina Jolie's Transylvanian accent.
by Anonymous | reply 93 | November 29, 2021 2:03 PM |
I'm the refreshing lack of woke.
by Anonymous | reply 94 | November 29, 2021 4:14 PM |
[quote] Is Chrissy Metz a conservative?
Hard to tell. She's never really hinted at being conservative. But, she was in that Christian movie Breakthrough a couple of years ago. It's possible that she's not conservative, but took the gig for a paycheck and maybe she liked the Christian message of the movie.
by Anonymous | reply 95 | November 30, 2021 4:22 AM |
R95 Thanks. I was curious if anybody knew what her political leanings were. It's always refreshing when the famous keep their political views to themselves.
by Anonymous | reply 96 | November 30, 2021 7:33 AM |
I'm hillbilly terrorist Ammon Bundy. Harvey Weinstein couldn't get any fine ass ladies to come work on films so, I'm going to face off with Steven Seagal in an upcoming direct to TV feature. Im going to beat Seagal's fancy city boy ass when he tries to stop me and my truth fighters from taking over and occupying the local junior college campus.
by Anonymous | reply 97 | December 15, 2021 5:47 AM |
R2, I'm the entire White male cast, still in the closet.
by Anonymous | reply 98 | December 15, 2021 6:15 AM |
I'm the home decor from Hobby Lobby.
by Anonymous | reply 99 | December 15, 2021 6:17 AM |
I'm the American flag strategically placed in the background of every other scene.
by Anonymous | reply 100 | December 15, 2021 6:21 AM |
I'm Megyn Kelly, interviewing the erstwhile star of the movie, for my new show on SiriusXM. I don't talk about the movie, actually I was too lazy to view it. Instead I use this opportunity to talk about Woke Hollywood and the evils of Cancel Culture, except for the things we agree should be cancelled. That's different.
As the actor leaves, he clumsily hits on me. Another time I might have let him punch my ticket. But Mel Gibson has gotten so gross and he smells like cigarettes and stale beer. Gross.
by Anonymous | reply 101 | December 15, 2021 6:25 AM |
The Seduction of the GOP: How Miss Lindsey Changed the World.
by Anonymous | reply 102 | December 15, 2021 10:09 AM |
I am the no-name, not very good actresses playing AOC and Rep. Omar and will be seen as given our comeuppance at the end.
by Anonymous | reply 103 | December 15, 2021 10:20 AM |
I'm a lucrative non-Hollywood sector of the film industry un-beholden to woketard fascism that giver the audience what it wants.
by Anonymous | reply 104 | December 15, 2021 10:23 AM |
Wannabe presidents who will clamor for appearances as themselves: Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, Kristi Noem, Marco Rubio, Nikki Hayley. Junior will want to make an appearance along with Guilfoyle and they'll try to bar the others. Mike Pence will try to get on but the producers have prohibited from being anywhere near the set.
by Anonymous | reply 105 | December 15, 2021 10:24 AM |
You'll have to have some folks playing Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger as disloyal traitors to the Trump who are humiliated in the film.
by Anonymous | reply 106 | December 15, 2021 10:29 AM |
I'm the moral fiber.
by Anonymous | reply 107 | December 15, 2021 3:45 PM |
And we all know, r107, what fiber helps one do.
by Anonymous | reply 108 | December 15, 2021 7:29 PM |
I’m the abortion that one of the women had in her past. I am her only defining character trait.
by Anonymous | reply 109 | December 15, 2021 8:03 PM |
I’m the small-town parade attended by thousands.
by Anonymous | reply 110 | December 15, 2021 8:14 PM |
And I am her aborted baby. I WOULD HAVE BEEN that little girl, Mr. Biden.
by Anonymous | reply 111 | December 16, 2021 1:04 AM |
I'm the cameo appearance by special guest star Aaron Schock! I only appear for a millisecond here and there which renders me subliminal, but it's because of ME! ME! ME! that Republican men will marvel at what a great film they've just viewed. Many will return to see it again.
by Anonymous | reply 112 | December 16, 2021 2:23 AM |
Am "Mother", and you better not underestimate me. Sin is unacceptable around me.
by Anonymous | reply 113 | December 17, 2021 12:03 AM |