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What’s the worst thing you ever did as a child?

In 3rd grade, I brought a cigarette lighter to school and used it to set a girl’s ponytail on fire during class. I remember the teacher asking “What’s that smell?” and then all of a sudden the girl jumps up screaming, the top of her head was in flames. Why would she use hairspray on such a basic hairdo? Stupid.

Anyway, a couple of assholes in the back row ratted me out and it was a whole thing. Parents were called, lawsuits threatened. The girl’s parents wanted my hide. Lucky for me, my grandfather was a state judge and he made some phone calls and some money was paid to make it all go away.

Although apparently part of the deal was that I had to transfer to a private school and go to counseling. They claimed the girl had to have skin grafts and they said her hair would never look right again. Whatever. I always thought it was mostly her fault anyway. She was annoying and if she hadn’t had all that crap in her hair, it would’ve just burned the ends of her hair and then burned itself out.

by Anonymousreply 70November 24, 2021 2:28 PM

You seem desperate for attention, to this day.

by Anonymousreply 1November 18, 2021 1:18 AM


by Anonymousreply 2November 18, 2021 1:20 AM

I beat the shit out of a kid in the 4th grade because he was trying to steal my boyfriend.

by Anonymousreply 3November 18, 2021 1:21 AM


by Anonymousreply 4November 18, 2021 1:22 AM


by Anonymousreply 5November 18, 2021 1:23 AM

Let me guess, OP.

You also sometimes drive through red lights because you're a V.I.P., right?

by Anonymousreply 6November 18, 2021 1:23 AM

Sounds like you should live in a little tiny room with padded walls

by Anonymousreply 7November 18, 2021 1:23 AM

You just started this topic to talk about yourself.

Didn't you, OP?

by Anonymousreply 8November 18, 2021 1:25 AM

R6, god damn. No, I don’t have always time to waist following all your little traffic laws. That woman should’ve seen me coming and waited, no matter what color that light was.

by Anonymousreply 9November 18, 2021 1:25 AM

Decent EST.

by Anonymousreply 10November 18, 2021 1:25 AM

R9, knew it was you.

You're either a troll or a sociopath and either way you're a dumb cunt.

by Anonymousreply 11November 18, 2021 1:27 AM

I flushed a new pair of earrings my mom just bought down the toilet because she wouldn’t let my dad take me to see Olivia Newton-John in concert in October of 1982.

by Anonymousreply 12November 18, 2021 1:28 AM


by Anonymousreply 13November 18, 2021 1:30 AM

Boring and stupid thread. Some people just aren't funny. You're one, OP. Perhaps you have other skills.

by Anonymousreply 14November 18, 2021 1:31 AM

I have no idea why I did this - I have no memory of how it got to that point BUT I remember being in the nurses office in 2nd grade - the nurse had to call my poor mom in to take me home. I pretended that I had laryngitis - but at that age I really didn’t understand laryngitis - I acted totally Helen Keller mute silent. It was like laryngitis that would be on Brady Bunch, Partridge Family or Gilligan’s Island. For some reason neither the nurse or my mom called me on it. My poor mother must have felt like a total ass going along with that! I totally cringe at the memory of being such a self indulgent idiot!!

by Anonymousreply 15November 18, 2021 1:34 AM

Far too creepy a story to prompt reminiscing.

by Anonymousreply 16November 18, 2021 1:34 AM


by Anonymousreply 17November 18, 2021 1:41 AM

I had a cat, and had built a little box "house" in the back yard to shelter stray cats. It had a rug hanging down for a door.

One day I caught an injured grackle. I don't know why, but I called my cat, coaxed him into the cat house, threw the grackle in after him, and held the rug door shut. It only took my cat a few seconds to kill the bird.

To this day I feel so ashamed for having done that.

by Anonymousreply 18November 18, 2021 1:45 AM

I stole zebra gum from the checkout line at the grocery, then left it in my jeans pocket and ruined a whole wash of clothes. Never actually chewed any of it.

by Anonymousreply 19November 18, 2021 1:49 AM

It was the girl’s fault for being annoying. It was the girl’s fault for wearing so much hairspray. It was your classmates’ fault for ratting you out. It was the fire’s fault for not burning itself out at the ends. The girl milked it by needing skin grafts and being disfigured.

Was the worst thing you did as a child burning this girl’s hair or getting caught?

by Anonymousreply 20November 18, 2021 1:53 AM

In kindergarten I used to steal the things kids brought for show and tell.

by Anonymousreply 21November 18, 2021 1:57 AM

I went to a Catholic school and at our weekly mass, I and an accomplice set off mini-smoke bombs during Communion.

by Anonymousreply 22November 18, 2021 2:00 AM

I brought a Ouija board to class and my 5th grade teacher about had a stroke.

by Anonymousreply 23November 18, 2021 2:01 AM

Summer between 5th and 6th grades. We had the only pool in the neighborhood and I had a crush on the boy across the street. One day a bunch of us neighbor boys were swimming and a "pretty" girl and her friend rode their bikes up to the fence around our pool. The neighbor was deeply engaged in flirting with the girls, and they with him, so I got out of the pool and went upstairs to my room. I got out my BB gun, pumped that thing a hundred times, and shot the pretty girl in her calf (from about 200 feet away!). It was silent to them, of course. She buckled over and grabbed her thigh. I went back outside and nonchalantly got back into the pool and asked "what's going on?" She said she thought a massive beetle or other bug must have stung her. I guess the BB dropped into the grass and disappeared. When I finally saw the wound, I felt horrible. It looked like a black puncture wound, but it did not bleed.

A few days later, I saw her at the corner market. Her leg was very bruised. I have never told anybody this story before.

by Anonymousreply 24November 18, 2021 2:05 AM

*grabbed her calf

by Anonymousreply 25November 18, 2021 2:06 AM

OP, I believe you. If only because there was a boy at my school who actually did this. He did it in the hallway between classes though, the burning hair smell was putrid.


by Anonymousreply 26November 18, 2021 2:12 AM

Well, a classmate of mine won the penmanship medal that was rightfully mine...

by Anonymousreply 27November 18, 2021 2:22 AM

I came second in Little Miss Boulder.

I dare say no more.

by Anonymousreply 28November 18, 2021 2:27 AM

I don't remember what I did but it must have been terrible.

by Anonymousreply 29November 18, 2021 2:27 AM

R26, was she wearing hairspray? I mean, what kind of a whore wears hairspray in the third grade?

by Anonymousreply 30November 18, 2021 4:05 AM

R24, you’re almost as much of a badass as I was!

by Anonymousreply 31November 18, 2021 4:06 AM

[quote] Was the worst thing you did as a child burning this girl’s hair or getting caught?

I mean, getting caught was obviously worse because of what happened. Her parents were so mad I thought they might kill me. There was talk of me going to juvie, although thankfully that didn’t happen.

I had to change schools and go to counseling sessions and endure people talking in hushed tones about what was supposedly “wrong” with me. It was obvious that I was a “problem” for my family to deal with from then on.

Meanwhile, that stupid girl got lavished with sympathy and attention for months and months. Probably years, even. You can bet she milked that for all it was worth.

by Anonymousreply 32November 18, 2021 4:14 AM

I murdered Claude Daigle for his penmanship award.

by Anonymousreply 33November 18, 2021 5:01 AM

I stole a 3 musketeer candy bar from the grocery store in 4th grade. I was agonized with guilt until I wasn’t, about a week later. Then I ate it. Conveniently the store went out of business or I’d be forced to drag my adult ass there and offer payment. I think it was 25 cents at the time. Never stole anything else ever again.

by Anonymousreply 34November 18, 2021 5:09 AM

I killed a bird. I dont know what I was thinking. I didnt grow up to be a serial killer, but it haunts me to this day.

by Anonymousreply 35November 18, 2021 5:38 AM

I dumped a bunch of salt on a slug. At the time I didn’t know that it would kill it and my brothers egged me on. Poor little slug…

by Anonymousreply 36November 18, 2021 5:44 AM

I’ll sucked off 7 guys

by Anonymousreply 37November 18, 2021 7:01 AM

I helped a group of kids hogtie a boy named Chester. Chester's family was poor and they were unbelievably dirty and smelly. Some of the older kids in the neighborhood decided to chase him down and tie his arms and legs together. He was writhing in the grass and calling out for his dad. I've felt horrible about all these years.

by Anonymousreply 38November 18, 2021 7:13 AM

I used wire hangers.

by Anonymousreply 39November 18, 2021 7:29 AM

Stupid Thread Alert....If you are making threads to reminisce about your 3rd grade antics or shoplifting---maybe DL isn't for you.

by Anonymousreply 40November 18, 2021 7:31 AM

I prank called this kid mercilessly in 7th grade. my friend and i would call and say stupid stuff, burp and belch and hang up. Nothing incredibly mean, but the true secret was that i had a crush on him and it was thrilling to hear his voice on the phone, even though i was pranking him. Anyway, his dad got pissed at all the phone calls and had them traced. I got into a lot of trouble from my parents. i don't think he ever knew it was me though, maybe his dad never told him who it was. This was before caller ID.

by Anonymousreply 41November 18, 2021 7:45 AM

Murdered that poor Daigle boy. He should have just given me the ribbon.

by Anonymousreply 42November 18, 2021 7:50 AM

I was born of a jackal.

by Anonymousreply 43November 18, 2021 8:25 AM

My 6th grade teacher had just washed his chalkboard and it was pristine. Sometimes kids would draw on the board or play tick tack toe but he told us all that we weren't allowed to mess it up that day, and then everyone went to lunch. I stayed behind and wrote in tiny little letters on the corner of the board, "Jason Rules!!!" and then I smeared it around to make it look like I had erased it but not enough that it couldn't be read still.

When we came back from lunch Jason got in big trouble. He was so irate, protesting his innocence, that he got sent to the office and I think suspended. Our teacher was just like, "Yeah, sure, ok. Who else would write that, Jason??"

by Anonymousreply 44November 18, 2021 8:35 AM


by Anonymousreply 45November 18, 2021 8:52 AM

^ Why did Wednesday hate the gays so much?

by Anonymousreply 46November 18, 2021 1:04 PM

R18 meet r35 Now go and Leopold Loeb.

by Anonymousreply 47November 18, 2021 11:19 PM

Vote Republican

by Anonymousreply 48November 19, 2021 11:13 AM

[quote] I have never told anybody this story before.

I am sure you’ve told it here before R24. Or someone else told something similar but the girl was more seriously injured, or he aimed at the boy he had a crush on.

by Anonymousreply 49November 19, 2021 12:21 PM

OP while typing his post:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 50November 19, 2021 2:26 PM

R50, they tried to ruin my life over a prank while that stupid girl got sympathy and attention beyond belief. All because her scalp got a little singed. I’ve seen her since then and she looks fine. She has one of those Mia Farrow pixie haircuts. I heard through the grapevine that she can’t grow it any longer than that, but it’s just as well. She looks better this way.

by Anonymousreply 51November 19, 2021 2:51 PM

I slapped my friends' faces viciously

by Anonymousreply 52November 19, 2021 2:52 PM

Campaigned for Hubert Humphrey. What a waste of time that was. Then I bought a Le Car at age of 16. I was a 2 time loser.

by Anonymousreply 53November 19, 2021 2:53 PM

I was quite well-behaved as a child but now I’m a 30 year old who stills shoplifts and does graffiti...

by Anonymousreply 54November 19, 2021 5:02 PM

I jacked off to my sister’s boyfriends feet while he was asleep on our couch.

by Anonymousreply 55November 19, 2021 10:33 PM

R51, you poor thing.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 56November 20, 2021 4:37 AM

I really wanted to win a penmanship competition, but a classmate I couldn’t stand won instead. Well, I don’t want to say too much, but I to find a way to drown my sorrows.

by Anonymousreply 57November 20, 2021 5:00 AM

Jerked off on my dad when he was sleeping. He awoke with a hard-on and fucked my lights out. Mom was nonplussed, but since she was frigid anyway, she just went back to her crossword puzzle.

by Anonymousreply 58November 20, 2021 5:33 AM

What happened to OP REALLY happened!!!

by Anonymousreply 59November 20, 2021 5:35 AM

Op is a troll.

by Anonymousreply 60November 20, 2021 5:45 AM

Shut the fuck up, R56. Somebody needs to knock you down a flight of stairs.

by Anonymousreply 61November 20, 2021 6:29 AM

Too bad your memory is so bad Rhoda (R57). You already told us your story about 5 times in this thread. Or is it that you can't be bothered to read?

by Anonymousreply 62November 20, 2021 8:57 PM

There was some evil bratty boy in the grade below us. 2nd? There was also a very cute, nice retarded girl in the same class. There was a huge slide, to us anyway, in the playground. It was so popular the classes did it in groups. Kids were all behind each other on the ladder.

I was watching the class and the brat was behind the retard at the top. He pushed. She fell off the ladder to the ground. I saw the whole thing. One of those slow motion, movie-like moments.


She was alright we heard. It had to be at least 20 ft tall. They soon took it down

by Anonymousreply 63November 20, 2021 9:35 PM

I'm at a loss as to what it was you did that was so bad, R63. Are you ashamed of being sighted?

by Anonymousreply 64November 20, 2021 9:44 PM

I called a girl a retard, r64.

by Anonymousreply 65November 20, 2021 9:49 PM

Some real sick fucks in this thread. I hope you've sorted out your sociopathic tendencies by now. Wow, your poor parents; I mean really.

by Anonymousreply 66November 20, 2021 10:59 PM

I procured young neighborhood boys for my friend, Dean Corll.

Top THAT, bitches.

by Anonymousreply 67November 21, 2021 5:10 AM

50 years have passed, so I think I'm outside the statute of limitations. As a 12-year old, I delivered the Shopping News (a free publication). One day, I decided to dump all my papers in a nearby ravine. I was convinced there were homeowners outraged that they had not received their paper that day.

by Anonymousreply 68November 24, 2021 12:02 PM

Every poster on DL wishes to set OP's hairy cunt on fire or put a tnt tampon in dat hairy snatch.

by Anonymousreply 69November 24, 2021 12:13 PM

My mom was horrible with money, and I went through a period in my preteen years where I'd take advantage of that fact. I would occasionally write checks for pizza when she'd go out to party, and they'd sometimes bounce. Also, one time she sold her car for cash and kept it in a tin can in the house until she could deposit it in the bank. I took $40 and she never ever said anything.

There's no way I could've gotten away with stealing money from my dad. As disgusted as I am with my behavior, I'm disappointed she rarely made an effort to control her finances. In addition to filing for bankruptcy she got a credit card in my brothere name and ruined his credit. She tried to get one in my name, but fortunately Discover contacted me.

by Anonymousreply 70November 24, 2021 2:28 PM
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